The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

Reza Abdoh

At five minutes to curtain, juliana enters, dressed as Orpheus/Tommy, and sits

in chair. She chooses a woman to be the ‘‘blue lady,’’ giving her the ‘‘blue lady
ribbon.’’ Then she returns to her chair and sits. At curtain, tom, dressed as
Eurydice/Dora Lee, enters with a towel. He crosses to the chair, takes out a
straight razor, and begins to sharpen it on a leather strop. He strops faster and
faster, until the bell sounds, at about thirty seconds after curtain. tom puts
shaving foam from a mug onto juliana’s face, then shaves her. As tom does a
final stroke, removing a hair from her upper lip, a bell sounds.
juliana crosses to bed, pulls out a manual typewriter, places it on the bed,
and begins to type. The keys jam occasionally, and she pulls them back. tom
strikes chair off stage right. Crosses to shelf, and begins filling the kettle and
pot with water. He places the bucket under the faucet and begins cross down
center to table, carrying a basket of vegetables.
tom begins to chop vegetables. The faucet drips very loudly. He goes to the
faucet, turns it tight, watches it for a second. Satisfied, he returns to his
chopping board. The dripping resumes. He goes to the faucet again, turns it,
then takes out a metal pail. He sits on it and pees. Goes to the faucet, wets his
hand and cleans under his slip, then dries with a hair dryer. He goes back to
the table, the drip resumes, and tom begins savagely chopping a zucchini.
juliana takes a big pipe wrench from under the bed, crosses to the faucet,
and pounds on it with the wrench. There is a moment’s peace, but then the
dripping resumes.

Reprinted from Daniel Mufson, ed., Reza Abdoh (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University, 1999),
51–87. ∫ 1999 The Johns Hopkins University Press. Reprinted with permission of the Johns
Hopkins University Press.
 tom hurls eggs into a mixing bowl, still in their shells. A stagehand wear-
ing a black welder’s helmet enters stage right, carrying a stool with a kitchen
blender. tom crosses, pours the eggs into the blender and whips them. juliana
crosses with the wrench and hammers on the faucet again. tom put the eggs in
a bowl, then takes the table off. He pours contents of bowls into a pot and stirs.
juliana tears the paper from the typewriter. She puts the typewriter away
under the bed, and takes out an old vacuum tube radio. She pushes the radio
along the floor for a few feet, then switches it on. We hear the sounds of a horse
race. Suddenly, a man’s voice breaks in. They listen for a moment, then static
overwhelms the voice. juliana quickly shuts off the radio.
A video image of borracha knocking at the window appears.

tom: Go away, I told you before, we don’t want any cookies.

tom puts food into the dishes, then takes the buckets, utensils, etc., offstage.
juliana sits downstage, takes out a pitch pipe. She plays a note on it, then
u•u A B D O H

sings part of an unrelated scale. Repeat. In the video image, borracha bangs
on the window again.
tom: go away!
tom serves the food. He blows on his bowl then begins to eat. juliana sees that
474

there is nothing in the bowls, pours her ‘‘food’’ on the ground, and bangs on her
bowl with the spoon. tom grabs her bowl, crosses upstage right, and hurls the
bowl out the door. We hear a loud crash as the bowl breaks. tom crosses
upstage right, to the faucet. The kettle boils, tom grabs it and burns his hand.
juliana rushes over, takes his hand, kisses it, and lays her face on it. tom raises
her face to his, but as they are about to kiss, they hear loud sounds next door.
Through the following, to alan’s voice breaking in, tom and juliana listen, he
with growing interest, and juliana with alarm. At the sound of alan’s voice,
they both become fearful and bewildered.
woman: Fuck me.
man: No, I can’t do that.
woman: Fuck me now.
man: What do you want to do, get me in trouble?
woman: Fuck me now.
Orgasmic noises
alan: From the egg laid by night, say the birds, came Eros. We will cure you
of your perversions. You return to your dung as a dog to its vomit. Come
on, boys, throw her out the window.
A crash. A scream
Lights out!
The lights bump out.
 The Bickersons—Dialogue I
juliana snores. borracha on video opens window, looks through, then disap-
pears.
tom: Tommy, Tommy! (Throws a glass of water in juliana’s face. Sound of
splash.) Are you in pain?
juliana: Are you in pain?
tom: What’s the matter with you?

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

juliana: What’s the matter with you?
tom: Stop repeating everything I say like a parrot. Why do you repeat every-
thing?
juliana: You just said that.
tom: I know I did.
juliana: Well, why do you repeat everything? You are repeating like a parrot.
tom: Very funny. I bet you’re a riot with those broken down friends of yours. I
never want to see them or your boss in this house again.
juliana: None of my friends have ever been in this house.

u•u
tom: Why are you ashamed of me?
juliana: I’m not ashamed of you.

475
tom: Then why don’t you invite them here. Because they’re a bunch of
bums.
juliana: they’re not bums! (Knocks tom out of bed.)
borracha enters and begins to sing.
tom: Oh I just love that Xavier Cougat.
juliana: buzz-z-z-z
tom: Don’t do that! When we got married I gave up all my girlfriends. Why
don’t you do it?
juliana: All right I’ll give up all your girlfriends.
tom: Oh very funny. Oh I wish we could meet some nice people. Why don’t
you join the Elks Club?
amen enters, starts saying ‘‘stop singing’’ in Portuguese.
juliana: I will next week.
tom: You say it but you don’t do it. Why don’t you join now? Go on get up
and join the Elks Club.
juliana: Are you out of your mind? It’s three o’clock in the morning.
tom: It’s only half past two.
juliana: Oh, why don’t you let me sleep? You know I have to get up early.
tom: I won’t let you sleep because if you sleep you’ll snore then you’ll wake
me and I’ll wake you and we’ll argue and I won’t get any sleep.
 juliana: i promise i won’t snore. (Falls asleep and snores.)
amen and borracha exit.
tom: You always snore, week in week out. On Monday you snore, on Tues-
day you snore, on Wednesday you snore, on Thursday you snore . . . oh,
what’s the use. (juliana begins to have convulsions.) He’s having that
dream again. Tommy, Tommy. (Throws a glass of water in his face.)
juliana: Yes, dear?
tom: You said you wouldn’t snore.
juliana: What did you say, Dora Lee?
tom: I didn’t say (A bell rings. The dripping resumes.) anything.
juliana: Put a pan under it. I’ll have a plumber in the morning.
tom: I have indigestion. I’ve never been so sick in all my life.
juliana: I’m awake now. What’s the matter.
tom: I don’t feel well, Tommy. Call the doctor.
u•u A B D O H

juliana: You don’t need the doctor. I’ll handle it. Where does it hurt you?
tom: Right here in the pit of my stomach, it’s a shooting pain. (borracha
enters wearing dog collar and chain; starts singing.) Oh I just love that
Xavier Cougat.
476

juliana: buzz-z-z-z
tom: Don’t do that. It’s a shooting pain, it comes about every five minutes.
juliana: How long does it last?
tom: At least a quarter of an hour.
juliana: How can it last a quarter of an hour if it comes every five minutes.
Huh? Huh? Huh?
amen enters wearing same, speaks.
tom: Don’t yell at me; I’m sick. If I say the pain lasts a quarter of an hour then
that’s how long it lasts.
juliana: Okay.
tom: Ow! I think it’s that meal we ate at the Captain’s. The fish disagreed
with me.
juliana: it wouldn’t dare dare dare dare dare.
tom I never want to eat there again. Every mouthful was poison. And the
portions were so small.
juliana: Well you ate like you were condemned. (The last word reverberates
and echoes.)
amen and borracha exit.
tom: Well you have to be polite when you go out to dinner. I wish we hadn’t
eaten anything at all. Oh, my God, I’m suffering so terrible. C-c-c-c-
c-call the doctor.
juliana: Oh, you don’t need a doctor! It’s just indigestion. I know how to
handle it. I’ll fix you some h-h-h-hot ginger ale and oatmeal.
tom: Hot ginger ale!
juliana: Make a new man out of you.
tom: You treat me for indigestion and I’ll probably die of liver trouble.
juliana: Listen, if I treat you for indigestion you’ll die of indigestion. Now
you want me to help you or not, hey? Hey? Hey?

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

tom: Not if you are going to yell at me. (Weeps.) You wouldn’t yell at Gloria
Goosby if she got sick.
juliana: Now don’t start with Gloria Goosby.
tom: I saw the two of you at the dinner table playing footsie.
borracha enters, pantomimes singing.
juliana: Footsies.
tom: You were so flustered when she smirked at you, you couldn’t eat.
juliana: I wasn’t flustered.
tom: Then why did you put gravy on your ice cream?

u•u
amen enters, speaks.
juliana: I always put gravy on my ice cream. I put gravy on anything and you

477
know it.
amen enters, speaks.
tom: A likely story. And the gown that woman was wearing. She ought to be
arrested. I think she purposely swallowed that fish bone so you could
stroke her back.
juliana: I didn’t stroke her back, and I’d done that even if she hadn’t swal-
lowed the fish bone.
All laugh.
tom: I don’t know how Leo stands for it. Leo honey, how do you stand for it?
He is such a wonderful man and Gloria is always playing sick around
him just to get sympathy. (juliana grunts.) A lot you care what happens
to me. Every time Gloria gets a headache Leo hugs and kisses her and
fawns over her. Why don’t you do that for me?
juliana: I’m never there when you have a headache.
tom: Why don’t you make a fuss over me?
juliana: Now listen, Dora Lee. You are not sick and you know it, know it . . .
know it.
tom: If you cared for me, if you cared for me, if you cared for me, you
wouldn’t leave me.
juliana: I’m not leaving you. I’m going out on business. I’ll only be gone
twenty-four hours.
tom: Suppose a burglar breaks in the house and fuh-fuh-fuh-finds me?
 juliana: It’ll serve him right.
borracha sings and amen plays tambourine. juliana does a frenetic dance.
Black out.
Lights up as tom whistles ‘‘My Buddy.’’ juliana lip-synchs his whistling. tom
crosses downstage, lies down, and goes into a yoga position with legs over his
head and buttocks in the air. Sound of wolves howling.
tom: (Fondling himself) Fuck me.
juliana: Shh. I can’t do that.
tom: Fuck me now.
juliana: Shh. What do you want to do, get me in trouble?
tom: Fuck me now.
juliana: Shut up! Shut up now!
tom: Fuck me now.
juliana: (Sings.) I do not know with whom Aiden will sleep, but I do know
u•u A B D O H

that Fair Aiden will not sleep alone.

juliana begins to cross down to tom. There is a loud buzzing sound, then big
band music under alan’s voice.
alan: (Voice over) From the egg laid by night, say the birds, came Eros. We
478

will cure you of your perversions. You return to your dung as a dog to its
vomit. Come on boys, throw her out the window.
alan and borracha and amen enter.
tom: Oh my God, I just pissed myself.
tom and juliana struggle but are caught by borracha and amen.
tom: He’s feeling feisty.
alan: Get the bitch out of here.

9 to 5: Part One
alan: Hey, hot stuff, grab your pad and pencil and get your buns in here.
juliana: Yes sir. Good morning.
alan: Hold it. Just hold it right there.
juliana: Something wrong?
alan: No, no nothing is wrong. I just want to check your bod. Turn around
for a second. (He whistles.) Boy you have a nice ass frame. But you ought
to get your pants cut a little tighter. You need to bring them up just a little
in the crotch. I mean you got a nice package you might as well show it off.
juliana: Oh, Captain.
alan: Come over here I want you to take a memo. To all personnel . . . Boy
that’s a great cologne you’re wearing Tommy.
juliana: Oh,thank you.
alan: Stuff ’s turning me on. What’s it called?
juliana: Stud.
alan: stud! (Laughs.) Well, it’s very sexy. Only I don’t like that tie you’re
wearing. What happened to the ones I gave you?
juliana: Well, nothing . . . I just . . .
alan: Take it off.
juliana: Excuse me?

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

alan: Take it off. I can’t work with those stripes glaring out at me like that.
And how about unbuttoning that shirt and coat. You need to loosen up.
That’s better. Now where were we?
juliana: Your memo.
alan: Oh yes . . . by the way I have a surprise for you here. (Pulls out a huge
strap-on dildo.)
juliana: Aah! Captain. I’m a married man.
alan: Forget about your wife, Tommy. I mean you may be hers in the
evening but you are my boy from 9 to 5. Have a look now. Isn’t this pretty?
juliana: Yes, it’s pretty. But you shouldn’t be buying gifts for me, boss man.

u•u
alan: Captain. Call me Captain. Let me put it on you. (Puts the dildo on

479
juliana.) Don’t worry, it won’t bite. If it bites we’ll sue. Now that wasn’t
so bad was it?
juliana: No.
alan: I love your hair. It’s so sexy. (Stroking her bald head.) Why don’t we go
over on the couch and I’ll lock the door.
juliana: No.
alan: Oh, let’s be friendly Tommy. You’ll have to be a little more cooperative
if you want to keep this job.
juliana: I’m not that kind of boy.
alan: Oh get off it. One little kiss.
juliana: No!
alan: What’s it gonna hurt?
juliana: No! I won’t.
alan: Tommy, you get back here. Tommy, I’m warning you, get back here.
juliana: No I won’t.
alan: And he’s out the shoot, ladies and gentlemen. He’s out the shoot.
Look at him. Now the Captain is gonna try and rope this one up (alan
lassos juliana.) and he’s already got him down. Ladies and gentlemen,
let’s see how long it takes to hog-tie this disobedient imp. (Sounds of a
stopwatch ticking) Five seconds, ladies and gentlemen, . . . just five
seconds.
 (Verdi’s Requiem plays. alan pulls juliana over to the bed and pushes her
onto it. A statue with tom’s face is brought on down right.)
Slide onto the table. A twilight sleep. We can cure you. Incisions are
made in the hairline, tucking sutures down the crease at the ear to the
upper neck. Using a crowbar, he breaks a bone in her leg and embuggers
her. We’re going to bore desire right out of you.
alan exits. tom appears in a doorway, whistles ‘‘My Buddy.’’ The head of the
statue is sliced off with a swinging blade. juliana stands up on the bed, and
amen sticks his head through the bed and makes a birdlike cry.

Ronald Reagan and the Conceptual Auto Disaster

juliana: Today was like an old, worn out film being run off. Dim, jerky,
flickering, full of cuts, with a plot I couldn’t seize. (A trumpet appears in
the bed.) Incidence of orgasms in fantasies of sexual intercourse with
u•u A B D O H

Ronald Reagan. Patients are provided with assembly kit photographs of

sexual partners during intercourse. In each case, Reagan’s face is super-
imposed upon the original partner. You want me to fuck him? Vaginal
intercourse with Reagan proves uniformly disappointing, producing
orgasm in two percent of subjects. I can’t fuck him! The preferred mode
480

of entry overwhelmingly proves to be rectal. Forgotten voices wait for the

rain. Empty condom waits for the rain. A knife blade and silence. (Falls
asleep . . . trumpet disappears . . . bell rings.) Where am I?
alan: Twelve. (alan keeps repeating ‘‘Faster’’ under juliana’s speech until he
exits on the line ‘‘steals his insulin.’’ )
juliana: In an extreme twelve percent of cases, the simulated anus of post-
colostomy surgery generated spontaneous orgasm in ninety-eight per-
cent of penetrations. (Harp appears from under bed.) I can’t pay my bills.
Better to die. I close my eyes. The archangels applaud. Multiple-track
cine films were constructed of Reagan in intercourse during: A) Cam-
paign speeches. Shut up. B) Rear end auto collisions with one- and
three-year-old model changes. Shut up. C) With rear end assemblies.
Shut up. D) With Vietnamese child atrocity victims. Shut up. (Falls
asleep.) Where am I? (Harp disappears.)
alan: For the price of a movie ticket . . .
juliana: You can spend a couple of hours with a sociopathic madman with a
Robin Hood complex. Watch him order the killing of oh maybe seventy
or eighty guys and rub out a few himself. Then finance a hospital for the
poor in his neighborhood and show his affectionate side by fondling his
lawyer’s breasts in a subway train. Or meet a hollowed ex-boxer who,
despite having the shuffle, stubble, and odor of someone living in a storm
drain, manages an affair with a gorgeous widow who cuts him in on a
lucrative kidnapping scheme. He’s not such a bad guy, though. When
 the k-k-k-kid falls into a diabetic coma, he kills the doctor who once
supported him and steals his insulin.
tom: Am I neurotic because I want a nose job?
juliana: Yes, yes, yes.
tom: Will it change my personality?
juliana: I don’t know.
tom: What if the surgeon removes too much?

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

juliana: Was your father an overbearing ass?
tom: I have bags under my eyes. I’m forty years old. I’m married to a man
twenty years younger than me. Tell me, am I neurotic for wanting a face
lift?
juliana: Do you have dimmed vision?
tom: No.
juliana: Do you have gastric distress?
tom: Stop asking me questions.
juliana: Take me with you.

u•u
tom: I can’t.
juliana: buzz-z-z-z

481
tom: Don’t do that. Where’s my head?
juliana: There. Sound. (She motions ‘‘cut’’ and crosses downstage.) She’s bi,
I’ve got coke, you want to party? And you going to answer me or not? Mr.
Martin, I gather that your plan to remove the show to planet Venus has
miscarried. Is that correct?
tom: (As Mr. Martin, on video) Yeah, it looks that way. The entire film is
clogged.
juliana: In that case, where will you go, when you go, if you go?
tom: That’s quite a problem. You see I’m on the undesirable list with every
immigration department in the galaxy.
juliana: Use Tom Metzger’s Nova number, 567–68–0515. (Sound of po-
lice.) Disrupt. Attack. Disappear.
tom: (Simultaneous with above) Look away. Ignore. Forget.
alan enters.
juliana: (To alan) What do I do?
alan: Push. Push. Push. Push (juliana climbs on the bed and pushes amen’s
head down till it disappears.) Good. Sing.
borracha and amen enter and do capoeira. juliana hides behind the bed,
then bangs the bed against the floor.
juliana: (Sings.) ‘‘I am sixteen going on seventeen / innocent as a rose. /
Fellows I meet will tell me I’m sweet / and willingly I believe. / I need
someone older and wiser / telling me what to do.’’
 juliana pulls bed offstage. borracha, amen, tom and juliana dance the
Metropolis Dance as skyscrapers rolled onstage. Stagehand appears in door-
way with small coffin, which amen carries downstage.
juliana: (To audience) Tinkerbell, Tinkerbell, you’re blushing, Tinkerbell,
you’re blushing . . .
alan enters.
alan: Forget that Tinkerbell crap and get over here. (Places the torture
helmet on juliana’s head.)

9 to 5: Part Two
alan: (To borracha) Play! (borracha begins playing conga drums as amen
pounds on coffin with hammer. To tom) Hold it right there.
tom: What?
u•u A B D O H

alan: Turn around for a second.

tom: Is something wrong—do I have something on my skirt?
alan: Nothing is wrong. As a matter of fact everything is very ripe.
tom: So what do you want?
alan: Take a letter to Vernon Henshaw over at Metropolitan Mutual. Dear
482

Vern, as you know, the chairman of the board of Consolidating Com-

panies, Mr. Russell Timsworthy, spends most of his time in Brazil work-
ing on the jungle-clearing operation. My contact here . . . Dora Lee,
yesterday I’m afraid I got a little carried away. I—I would just like to
apologize to you.
tom: Oh, don’t you worry, Boss man.
alan: Captain . . . call me Captain.
tom: I’ve been chased by swifter men than you and I ain’t been caught yet,
Captain. Shall we get back to the letter now?
alan: Yeah—um—well—um—could you just come over here for a minute. I
have a little something for you. You know ever since I made that stupid
mistake about the convention in San Francisco I . . .
tom: Oh you didn’t make a mistake, boss man. You see I’ll just have to make
sure the next time that I’m asked to go to work at a convention that there
is a convention going on.
alan: And nothing happened anyway, so why don’t we just forget the whole
thing?
tom: Fine.
alan: Dora Lee, you know you mean so much more to me than just a dumb
secretary. So I bought you something. I picked it out myself. (Pulls out a
pair of fake, strap-on tits.)
tom: Well thank you. You didn’t have to do that.
alan: I know I didn’t have to do it. I couldn’t resist. I took one look and it had
 Dora Lee written all over it. (Puts the fake tits on tom.) I mean it was you.
Well, what do you think?
tom: Oh, thank you sir, they’re very nice.
alan: It’s really nothing. Dora Lee, I’m a very rich man. I’ve got a checkbook
here in my pocket—you just say the word and you can write your own
figure.
tom: Oh, I could do that now, Boss—Captain. I can write your name better
than you do.

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

alan: No, Dora Lee, I’m serious. Don’t you understand I’m crazy about you.
You’re all I ever think about.
tom: Captain, I’ve told you before, I am a married woman.
alan: And I’m a married man. That’s what makes it so tasty. Let me sit on
your face. Let me sit on your face. Let me sit on your face.
tom: Oh, go sit on your own face. The exercise will do you good.
alan: You dried up old whore; we’re going to set your clit on fire.

I Don’t Need God

u•u
tom: I don’t need God. I don’t need God. (Repeats this until he is shot.

483
borracha stands on amen’s shoulders. alan gets a gun from an opening
in the wall and hands it to tom. tom shoots himself. tom, borracha, and
amen fall down.)
alan: Raus!
juliana: Where are you going? Where are you going? (She repeats this
throughout the following. borracha and amen place tom in an incinera-
tor. tom climbs out the other side of the incinerator and begins painting
himself white. amen opens the incinerator and pulls out a charred skel-
eton. borracha breaks off a bone of the skeleton and brings it to alan.)
alan: (Holding up the bone) The fuel! (He places the bone inside a blender
and turns it on. borracha brings him an oil can. alan pours the contents
of the blender into the can.)
juliana: Eurydice! (Word reverberates.)
tom: What?
juliana: I’m scared.
tom: No you’re not.
juliana: What do I do?
tom: The place that you rip open again and again, that heals, is God. I’ll be
waiting for you.
juliana: I love you. I love you. I love—
She is cut off by alan to dance the Heaven Dance. amen cries. borracha
makes fun of him. The dance ends when alan drops juliana and exits. Wolves
howl. juliana stands up slowly and sings the Lament. borracha and amen
 do slow capoeira. The song ends. tom enters dressed as the travel agent lady
and screams. A motorcycle is brought on center stage. borracha puts a
motorcycle jacket on juliana and lies on the floor with his head on her feet.
tom: Going to hell, dear? Looking for the perfect travel package? At the tip of
the Baja Peninsula lies a land of beginnings. Horseback riding over the
desert bluffs or relaxing under a palaba. Windsurfing across the sea or
scuba diving under it. Things go better with Coke, dear, right? Or so they
say. Just try asking Roscoe ‘‘Fatty’’ Arbuckle and Virginia ‘‘Boom Boom’’
Rappe, the best-dressed girl in the movies, 1918. When driving in a
strange city remember this: discourtesy to pedestrians can turn out to be
manslaughter. First advice, that’ll be a dime. (To the audience) That’ll be
a dime. Are we dealing with the English as a Second Language class
here? That’ll be a dime, one-tenth of a dollar. Fork it over. You—front row
center—I saw you put that booger under your seat before the show.
Booger, booger, booger, booger, right down front, I said it and I’m glad.
u•u A B D O H

Well, if your conscience gets the better of you, lay that dime right down
on the edge of the stage—I’ll be looking for it. If you dream of dying
beneath the midnight sun, take only a few intimate, personal items with
you as luggage, dear. Why load yourself down? Second advice, that will
be a quarter.
484

juliana and tom: Like the pig who lay on a barrow dead, eyes closed, pink,
white eyelashes, trotters stuck straight out behind.
tom: Move him out boys. (borracha and amen pick juliana up on their
shoulders, run a full circle of the stage then seat her on the motorcycle.)
Frankly I don’t care if you threw this puppy out the window. Move—
move—move—move. Here’s a bonus travel tip, my dears. When traveling
in strange lands, you should always carry a few assorted sweets about your
person to distribute amongst the native youngsters. (He throws candies
into the audience.) Otherwise there’s no guarantee the little fuckers won’t
get you flat on your ass in some historic plaza and commence to rend and
eat your flesh. Katharine Hepburn, Suddenly Last Summer. Now look
here. Where you’re going there’s no tourist information, no American
Express, no currency exchange, no post office, no telephone, no trains,
no embassy, no budget travel, no medical assistance, no habla ingles, no
kissing madam, no pissing sir, and for God’s sake, no fucking in public.
Twenty minutes of silence followed from Fatty’s bedroom, broken by a
piercing scream. (Video image of a woman screaming.)
alan: (Appearing in doorway) If you lose all your money, don’t fret. The pay
phones don’t work! (Exits.)
tom: Also, don’t take all of the family jewels with you. Other than the ones
you . . . carry between your legs! (He grabs juliana’s crotch. She yells.)
Say, that’s quite a cucumber you got there. Well! That still leaves Fatty
Arbuckle in his hotel room, with Virginia ‘‘Boom Boom’’ Rappe in his
room, Best-Dressed Girl in the Movies, 1918, who may, or may not, have
 a Coke bottle rammed up her twat. P-p-p-p-p-p-poor Fatty! He really got
fucked! But not, as it turned out, by Virginia! Now remember. If you
make every game a life and death proposition, you’re gonna have prob-
lems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot. (To amen, who’s been drum-
ming) Why don’t you shitcan the jungle atmosphere, honey, I can’t hear
myself think. (amen stops. To borracha, who’s been doing capoeira and
yelling in Portuguese) Take a break, José.
borracha: (To tom) Puta!

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

tom: (To juliana) Time to go, Sport. Will you write? Don’t worry, I will
never be far from the telephone. Here’s your fuel. (Pours fuel from can
into motorcycle.) Where’s my dough? (Pulls a wad of bills out of juliana’s
pocket.) Just remember. We’re making a movie here, and you’re . . the
star. (Pause) Where you’re headed, there’s a clock that never strikes.
There’s a hollow with a nest of white beasts. The paths are rough. The
hillocks are covered with broom. This can only be the end of the world.
(Takes out ignition key.) And I alone have the key to this savage sideshow.
(tom turns on the motorcycle, exits laughing.)
Music. borracha and amen enter and dance. juliana rides the motorcycle

u•u
with a video image of the road behind her. The dance ends with a video image
of a crash. borracha and amen push juliana and the motorcycle off left as

485
alan and tom enter right. alan places torture helmet on tom. borracha
reenters, stands and pants like a dog. alan pats borracha’s head.

Overture to Forest
As borracha and amen push juliana and the motorcycle offstage left, tom
and alan enter from stage right and cross to their positions. borracha runs
back to tom and attaches the helmet to his head, then crosses on his hands and
feet to alan and pants like a dog under dialogue. Trees flown in; image of forest
on screen.
alan: You’re deaf. You’re dumb. You’re deaf. You’re dumb.
alan, tom, and juliana’s next lines are said at the same time.
alan: You’re deaf. You’re dumb. You’re deaf. You’re dumb. You’re deaf.
You’re dumb. You’re deaf. You’re dumb. You’re blind. You’re deaf. You’re
dumb. You’re blind. You’re deaf. You’re dumb. You’re blind. You’re deaf.
You’re dumb. You’re blind. You’re deaf. You’re dumb. You’re blind. I’ll
release black widows in your granny’s outhouse. What will you do?
tom: I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m deaf.
I’m dumb. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m blind. I’m deaf.
I’m dumb. I’m blind. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m blind. I’m deaf. I’m dumb.
I’m blind. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. I’m blind. I will, I will, I will.
juliana: (From offstage) No you’re not. (Repeated at five-second intervals)
alan: I’ll release black widows in your granny’s outhouse. What will you do?
 tom: I will—I will—
alan: I’ll put sulfuric acid in your Listerine. What will you do?
tom: I will—I will—I will—
alan: You are safe here. No one can touch you. But safety is the most
dangerous of all conditions. Yes?
tom: He’s coming for me. I feel it in the pit of my stomach.
alan: He won’t get anywhere. Let the dead bury the dead.
tom: But mother, how the fuck is that possible?
alan: Don’t be coarse. It’s just a figure of speech.
juliana: (Appearing half-dressed in armor at doorway) Where was I?
tom and alan’s next lines are said at the same time.
tom: He’s coming. He’s coming.
alan: Dahling, you look like a bit of ancient Egyptian kitsch. Just say no.
u•u A B D O H

juliana and tom: No?

juliana: buzzzzzzz
tom: Don’t do that! My mother tried to kill me by poisoning me with arsenic
because she wanted to collect the life insurance money.
alan: You’re joking.
486

tom: No I’m not. Vampires only come out at night. But she didn’t succeed.
The doctors at the hospital discovered it and then I testified against her.
That’s the way it goes with evil and crime. You do it and then it comes
back to you.
alan: Wo er sich versteckt?
tom: I don’t know.
alan: Wo er sich versteckt?
tom: I don’t know!
alan burns tom with his cigar.
alan: We’re making a movie and you’re the star!
tom: You think you can buy talent and then throw it out when you’ve wrung
it dry?
alan: It’s important to make up for the things you fuck up.
tom: He’s coming for me, my studpuppy.
alan: Liebst du ihn noch?
tom: I don’t know.
alan: Liebst du ihn noch?
tom: I don’t know.
alan burns tom with his cigar.
alan: (Removes helmet from Tom’s head.) Raus! (Sings.) ‘‘Nights are long
since you went away. I think about you all through the day, my buddy, my
buddy. Nobody quite so true. Miss your voice, the touch of your hand.
 Just long to know that you understand, my buddy, my buddy. Your buddy
misses you.’’
alan and tom dance the Heaven Dance. Trees flown offstage. alan drops
tom and exits. tom drags himself off. juliana, wearing full armor, is pushed in
on a wooden boat. A huge blue cloth is stretched across the stage, then disap-
pears as borracha enters as the dragon. juliana slays borracha the dragon.

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

Interrogation
Rockets rolled onstage. One is rotated to reveal torture unit. tom climbs onto
it. juliana removes her armor. Video of juliana undressing with cast members
watching. alan enters and sits in a chair. borracha and amen, wearing
medieval dresses, play capoeira instruments.
tom: Ladies, are you fed up with salads instead of meals? Now you can find a
heaven no man can touch. Tonight’s my night for a miracle. Don’t count
your calories a moment longer, ladies, count your happinesses instead.
He’s coming for me, my studpuppy. Now you can twirl up a plateful of
pasta, bury your mug in a bowl full of Häagen Dazs, or just tap into what

u•u
makes you high—high—high—hiya kids, hiya, hiya! Introducing the
amazing new weight-loss program from Phyllis Schlafly. No lies, ladies.

487
With Phyllis’s amazing new program, you can consume, dine, feast, feed,
graze, nibble, snack, chomp, ingest, inhale, absorb, chew, nosh, gnaw,
guzzle, masticate, pig out, gorge, gobble, and stuff your face. Tonight’s
my night for a miracle. Under the guidance of one of Phyllis’s trained
technicians, make a small incision in the soft part of your upper arm.
Hiya kids, hiya, hiya! Let the blood and the fat flow. He’s coming for me,
my studpuppy. Under the guidance of one of Phyllis’s trained techni-
cians, make a small incision in the soft part of your inner upper thigh.
Tonight’s my night for a miracle. Now you’ll be waist deep in pools of
liquid flesh. Yuck. Step out, shower off, for the next step is to eat.
amen speaks a line in Portuguese. borracha answers in Portuguese.
alan: Is that what they call a Mona Lisa smile?
juliana: I can’t make decisions at all anymore.
alan: Is London Bridge falling down?
juliana: There will be no more war, there will only be weapons.
alan: What do you want?
juliana: My wife.
tom: He’s come.
alan: Do you love your country?
juliana: Is my ass worth that much to you?
alan: Fucking should be devoted to the business of procreation.
 juliana: On the rack, pregnant, the woman, the hangman binds. Heart
would fain, he racks her till break.
alan: Have you ever stolen any material—books, magazines, small amounts
of cash, office supplies, etc. from your place of employment or college
library? Explain.
juliana: I don’t know how many people were in the bathroom with me.
alan: How about the other guy that was in there with him? Do you know
him? Do you know your condition is pretty serious, Martin? Can you
hear me, Martin?
borracha and amen: Yes.
alan: Can you hear me?
borracha and amen: Yes.
tom: The question of a fatally wounded man.
juliana: The dog soldiers are on line to assassinate the governor of South
u•u A B D O H

Dakota.
alan: Shut up.
juliana: Head it burned, over oil it poured, not confess.
alan: Shut up.
488

juliana: Sulfur, armpit burned, placed in her . . .

alan: How would you feel in an area that had no running water, toilet
facilities, or where you would be forced to spend extended periods of
time in a tent? Don’t respond. Sit down.
juliana: Of course I do. That’s why I’m here.
alan: Sit down. Take a load off your feet as they say . . . and unless my eyes
deceive me you have quite a load.
juliana: Did you fart?
alan: Why of course, dahling. Do you think I always smell like this?
juliana: Never mind. I give up. . . . I’ll do the dishes.
alan: I got up from the chair to greet Suzette.
juliana: Set up! (alan fires rifle.)
alan: I couldn’t conceal my anxious expectancy.
juliana: Set up! (alan fires rifle.)
alan: It had been days since I’d seen her.
juliana: Set up! (alan fires rifle.)
alan: And my heart was conscious of the absence.
juliana: Set up! (alan fires rifle.)
alan: I waited at the door.
juliana: Set up! (alan fires rifle.)
alan: Did you say Egyptian gods?
borracha and juliana and amen: Yes.
alan: Did she say Egyptian gods? What a coincidence.
juliana: What kind of coincidence?
alan: Oh, there’s the nicest little man.
juliana and tom: Where?
alan: Call me when you’re ready to come home. I don’t want you out in the
junkyard tonight.

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

juliana: Don’t worry, mother. Peter will be with me.
alan: The door opened and then Suzette appeared, radiant in her skin tight
klemperer . . . whatever that means.
juliana: I blame myself all the time for my faults.
alan: Would you rather serve in the overt or covert capacity?
juliana: I blame myself for everything bad that happens.
alan: Did you ever lose your luggage?
juliana: I don’t have any thoughts of killing myself.
alan: Do you want a shave and a haircut?

u•u
juliana: I have thoughts of killing myself, but I would not carry them out.
alan: Would you betray the trust of someone who has supplied you with

489
valuable information?
juliana: I would like to kill myself.
alan: We’re making a movie and you’re the star!
juliana: I would like to kill myself if I had the chance.
alan: The police are with us. Are you thirsty?
juliana and tom speak at the same time.
tom: Yes I am. Yes I am. Yes I am.
juliana: Give this man a dozen. Overseer, overseer, give this man a dozen.
alan: Are you thirsty?
juliana: Tied, dropped suddenly from the ceiling, hands, hauled up . . . the
hangman and his helpers went to lunch.
alan: Are you thirsty?
juliana: Mother told us not to play in the woods for the next few days and we
obeyed her.
alan: Well, she was a foolish woman. A good quality water pistol filled with
freshly squeezed lemon juice is the ticket. You shoot the felonious fur
ball right in the eyes and it will soon stop the canine harassment.
juliana: Soft white male, age thirty-five, wants to play with black lady with
large buttocks. Bi couples welcomed for Greek and French culture.
alan: There was a bit of nastiness last night, yes? I once shot a big nasty cur
with the juice and he never bothered me again. Dead animals are so
useful, don’t you agree?
 juliana: Why should fucking be devoted to the business of procreation?
alan: I’ve never believed in getting too intimate with the help.
juliana: But you have. But you have. But you have.
alan: What is the best type of agent? A) An adventurer (alan lowers screw into
tom—tom screams.) B) A pacifist. (alan raises screw—tom screams.) C) A
combination of the adventurer-pacifist. (alan lowers screw—tom screams.)
juliana: (Pants for 20 seconds.) What’s an adventurer?
alan: The adventurer does it for thrills. Set up! (alan places a pomegranate
on juliana’s head, then shoots it off.)
juliana: Imagine for a minute, Billy, that you’re one of my toes.
alan: Do you take orders well?
juliana: That you’re a part of me. That you’re unhappy.
alan: Can you carry out a direct personal command from your superior if
you disagree with it?
u•u A B D O H

juliana: The place that you rip open again and again, that heals, is God.
alan: Have you ever lied about your name, occupation, salary, or place of
residence?
juliana: The place that you rip open again and again, that heals, is God.
490

alan: Shut up.

juliana: The place that you rip open again and again, that heals, is God.
alan: Shut up.
juliana: It’s okay to show a man getting his balls kicked on TV, but not okay
to show him getting his balls stroked. What do you want from me?
alan: I want your snails, your snakes, your groundhogs, your weasels, your
Japanese beetles. You can’t desire her.
juliana: Many Englishmen feel that flogging is the only answer to the
growing problem of the ‘‘teddyboys.’’ Do you?
alan: I don’t know. I’ll think about that.
All laugh.
juliana: I’ll take her.
alan: You can take her, but you can’t fuck her, or else I’ll leave you with a
mess of pet maggots to raise.
juliana: I’ll take her.
alan: You’ll take her, but you can’t desire to fuck her.
juliana: It’s okay to show a man getting his balls kicked on TV, but not okay
to show him getting his balls stroked.
alan: Right. Don’t touch.
juliana: I will. The agency does not believe in letting you stagnate in one
position throughout your Agency career. Your upward mobility in the
Agency is limited only by your own ambitions. Over and out.
tom: Tonight is my night for a miracle. He’s coming for me, my studpuppy.
alan: Have a pomegranate. (Tosses a pomegranate to juliana.)
tom: don’t.
alan: eat.
tom: don’t.
alan: eat.
tom: don’t.

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

alan: eat.
tom: don’t.
alan: eat.
tom: don’t.
alan: eat.
juliana: I’m thirsty. (Eats.)
tom: Don’t swallow the seeds!
alan exits. juliana sees tom, crosses to him. They embrace and lie down.
borracha and amen sing. End of song. tom gets up off floor. borracha and

u•u
amen exit. A twelve-foot penis comes up out of floor. tom turns and reaches for
it. alan shoots it down. juliana sits up and screams.

491
Alan’s Final Solution

alan: One God. One Party.

tom: I’m queer. I’m queer. I’m queer. What’s it to you, you fat pig! Hey. Hey.
Hey. Ha. Ha.
juliana staggers toward alan, pulls gun away from him, and exits.
alan: Anyone want a shave and a haircut? A close shave. Anyone want a
haircut? You! (Crosses down into the house.) Do you believe God will
touch you? I want to avoid a face-lift. Does it make sense for me to do
facial exercises like clenching my teeth and so on? One of the things
about male Oriental whores—when you buy them, their body is yours to
do whatever you want.
tom: Tonight’s my night for miracle . . (Continues under alan’s monologue.)
alan: Roger, she died three months ago. You showed me a copy of the death
certificate. Don’t you remember? This one was old enough to know the
score and had been to the bar before. So we go in, we go in and have
another beer. Where’s my Blue Lady? Where’s my Blue Lady? (Goes to
Blue Lady.) Blue Lady, love’s going to get you. Love’s going to get you.
Love’s going to get you. Always be as well dressed as your circumstances
will permit. these are the answers. Remember these answers. Number
1) Mazda. Number 2) Citizen Kane. Number 3) Quantum mechanics.
Number 4) Forty-eight pounds. Remember. I slip this guy another five
 and he’s all smiles. Well I wasn’t going to stand around looking like a
freak. So I started undressing and ordered the kid—his name was Safi—to
do the same. (To tom, who has stopped his ad-libs) Why are you stopping?
Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Go. Go. Go. Tonight you will be robbed of your
Rolex. You will crash your car. Your house has burned down. Your baby
suffocates in its crib. The babysitter gets stoned. There will be an earth-
quake. Iraq has the atom bomb. The ceiling above you will collapse. The
man next to you is going crazy. Your wife wishes to murder you.
juliana: Liar, liar, liar.
alan: You’ll lose your job. Number 5) Islam. Number 6) The fatal flaw.
Number 7) Wise Man. Number 8) Après moi le déluge. Remember. (To
Blue Lady) I have a card in my pocket with something written on it, and I
would like you to read it to me in a low, clear voice. (He hands the Blue
Lady the card.)
audience member: I’m a self-starter. I enjoy and am excited by producing.
u•u A B D O H

alan: (To Blue Lady) We’re making a movie and you’re the star! You believe
that? Busy young creatures, you don’t have a chance. So we all get up and
I order beers for me and my whore. I got my drink and took Safi over to a
small table by the wall and had him start sucking. Judas is posing with the
492

Bee Gees in a white leisure suit. No one could replace Andy Gibb.
Ashes, whiskey, and tears.
tom: Do you know ‘‘Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits’’? I miss you. Come and get
me.
alan: I don’t want him to go. My memory is failing. My bladder is weak. My
arches are falling. My tonsils and adenoids are gone. My jawbone is
rotting, and now my little boy wants to cast me away and leave me
behind. I’ll end up in a geriatric ward. I’ll have to have enemas. I will be
incontinent. There’s a heart miracle taking place! You! Stand up, put
your hand over your heart and call that a miracle. You! Lift up your head
and call that a miracle. Tonight’s my night for a miracle. . . .
tom: Do your flower beds have barren or weed-choked areas? Do they lack
color?
alan: Shut up. Chico, you’re so groovy. About this same time a marine
busted his nuts in this guy’s ass. And one of the sailors got up on a table
and told a kid to suck his cock. You! With the glasses . . . am I neurotic for
wanting a face-lift? Remember these. Number 9) The Tower of London.
Number 10) You could have had a V-8. Number 11) Dietrich Bon-
hoeffer. What if Noah had failed? (Wolves howl.) A lady may remove her
gloves or not when partaking of supper. Guests do not bid their hostess
good-bye; they quietly withdraw.
tom: As you examine your personal landscape do you see anything else you
don’t like or would like improved?
alan: Shut up. Boy, I couldn’t take no more. I started busting my nuts and
 Safi started sucking cum from my cock till I was weak. (He sings.) ‘‘Love,
your magic spell is everywhere. Love, I saw you and I knew . . .’’
They had this rice wine and I started drinking it. I got drunker than a
coot. We are as driven to kill as we are to live and let live. Isn’t that so? I
heard that. I picked up the bottle and I smashed it on his face, he
dropped to the floor. Everyone turned. No one said a word. Round and
firm and fully packed, I crowned the Shenandoah Apple Queen. Men
don’t get smarter as they get older. They just lose their hair. Isn’t that so? I

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

heard that. (To tom) Why are you stopping? Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Go.
Go. Go. Healing is like ringing the dinner bell to lure sinners to salva-
tion. Isn’t that so. I heard that. Before you kill somebody, make sure he
isn’t well connected. Here lies old Fred. It’s a pity he’s dead . . . I am
obsessed with the little toe on my left foot. It is turning into a claw. A
species that is going nowhere. And I’m having to do this alone. Not like
Cousteau with his assiduous team aboard the sun-flooded schooner but
here. Alone. Alone. Alone.
Question number 1) What is the name shared by the Zoroastrian
Creator God of Light and a popular car? Question number 2) What film
was consistently booed at the 1940 Academy Awards? Question number

u•u
3) What does the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle apply to? Question

493
number 4) What did Oprah Winfrey Lose? Question number 5) What is
Arabic for submission to God’s will? Question number 6) What did Louis
XV never really say? Question number 7) Where were the little princes
kept? Question number 8) Who said religion should take place in the
marketplace of life? Question number 9) What is the phrase which
illustrates the economic principle of opportunity cost?
You could have had a V-8. You fucked up. (He chops off his finger.
Scream begins and continues under Ballroom Dance.) I’d like to cut off a
dead man’s member and have it sewn onto me. I should like to be a man.
I should like to rob a dead man’s soul before it went to heaven and turn
myself into a man. I would then seduce all women. I want to taste every
man and every girl. I believe you are too good for this calling. I’d like to
wallow in something, just so that I can say I’ve wallowed in it. I know it
now. I’d like to wallow in corpses. I want to be stronger and stronger. I
have never had a facial injury. I think I’d go mad if I ever did. Is my body
now obsolete? Is my body now obsolete? (A tiny casket is lowered. alan
opens the casket and the sound of the scream moves into it. He turns and
throws the casket towards the video screen. Video Image of a casket crash-
ing through a window. Blackout.)
borracha and amen dance with machetes in semi-darkness. juliana opens
upstage door and leans through.
juliana (Whispering at door) Go and wash yourself, I’m coming to get you.
(Repeats until stage lights are brought up, then closes door. alan crosses
upstage to door and bangs on it.)
 alan: Öffnen die Tür. (He repeats this ten times.)
The entire back wall collapses. juliana is revealed as the Blue Angel carrying a
sword. alan and juliana walk slowly downstage. juliana stabs alan. bor-
racha and amen embrace. tom crawls out of a trap door. alan dies. A blue
curtain slowly closes.
While the blue curtain remains closed, a Wonder Woman radio show is played.
borracha comes through the curtain carrying a tray of cookies and condoms.
He throws cookies and condoms into the audience, then exits through the
curtain. The curtain is drawn revealing tom and juliana posed in a pastoral
scene.
tom: Darling, I thought that fat slob would never shut up.
juliana: I want to be alone with you forever. My application to enter the
United States has arrived.
tom: Wonderful! Hurry and fill it out. I’ll help you.
u•u A B D O H

They dance downstage saying ‘‘Am I right?’’ ‘‘You are wrong.’’ ‘‘Are you
wrong?’’ ‘‘Right I am.’’ etc., until they reach their next position.
tom: Oh, if I had to sail for home without you, I’d just shoot myself.
juliana: No, you wouldn’t.
tom: You’re right, I probably wouldn’t.
494

They dance across right, again alternating the lines ‘‘Am I right?’’ ‘‘You are
wrong,’’ etc., until they reach the next position.
tom: Darling, was it bad?
juliana: I’d rather not talk about that.
tom: Whatever you say.
They dance to center repeating ‘‘Am I right,’’ ‘‘Am I wrong’’ sequence.
juliana: You’re a trusting soul, aren’t you?
tom: You didn’t kiss me good night.
juliana: I am you.
tom: You I am.
juliana: Wanderers cling to their fading homes.
tom: (As they break away and move downstage doing a chorus line kick step)
You didn’t kiss me good night!
juliana: What’s red and sits in the corner?
tom: What darling?
juliana: What’s red and sits in the corner?
tom: What darling.
juliana: (As they meet in the middle) A baby chewing on a razor blade.
An upside down tree flies in with a baby in its branches: Sound of a baby
crying. tom walks towards it, sits down in lotus position. juliana falls asleep
on the floor. Sound of snoring.
tom: Oh please, not that again, quit it!
juliana: (Waking up, rising to her feet) What is it?
tom: There must be something that will put an end to that hideous snoring.
Why do you do it?
juliana: Do what?
tom: Snore. (juliana turns and crosses to tom, grabs his wrists.) I’m going out
of my mind (juliana pulls tom around; borracha appears behind the
window upstage.) For years you’ve been telling people you have insom-

The Hip-Hop Waltz of Eurydice

nia. Not only do you sleep like a log, but you sound like you’re sawing it!
The house could fall down and you’d never know it!
juliana: (As she and tom slide step away from each other) Very funny.
tom: It’s not funny, it’s tragic.
juliana: Say something nice.
tom: I love you.
They run and embrace center.
juliana: The secret of flesh is in the lost Mayan books. All the forces of
suppression have now converged on Mexico to find these books and

u•u
prevent a new race of beings on this planet.

495
tom: Darling, Ornament Magazine is here to take our picture. Smile. (They
smile. A flash. They press their heads together and turn left, right, and then
a full circle. Sound of conga drums. They sink to the floor. Sound of
knocking. juliana stands up and drags tom slowly across the floor.) Oh
there’s that boy again. I told him before we didn’t want any cookies. (To
borracha in the window) Please go away. We don’t want any cookies.
(tom and juliana freeze for a moment. Then juliana crosses to the tree,
detaches baby, and carries it upstage, reciting a Danish children’s rhyme.
tom mimes rocking the baby.)
tom: Oh, the baby. Oh, the baby. Oh, the pretty baby. (tom crosses up to
juliana and the baby, then goes offstage and returns with a papier-mâché
turkey.)
amen enters dressed as a milkman, carrying bottles. Sound of Nat King Cole
singing Christmas carols.
tom: (To amen) Merry Christmas, Mr. Howard.
amen: Thank you. (Picks up empty bottles and leaves full ones). Merry Christ-
mas, Ma’am. (Turns to leave but doesn’t.)
juliana hands the baby to tom and crosses to get the milk. She comes back to
the table, pours a glass of milk, and pulls a leg off the turkey and puts it on a
plate. She takes the plate and glass to borracha, who is still standing behind
the window. alan shuffles on stage left, out of fatsuit and wearing dingy
longjohns. juliana crosses to the lawnmower and begins to mow.
alan: 1) At night I am woken up, bathed in sweat, by a cough which strangles
me. My room is too small. It is full of archangels. 2) I know I have loved
 too much. I have stuffed too many bodies, used up too many orange skies.
I ought to be stamped out. 3) The thin white bodies, the softest of them,
have stolen my warmth, they went away from me fat. Now I’m thin and
freezing. Many blankets are piled on top of me. I’m suffocating. 4) I
suspect they will want to fumigate me with incense. My room is flooded
with holy water. They say I have got Holy Water Dropsy. And that’s fatal.
5) My sweethearts bring a bit of quicklime with them in hands which I
have kissed. The bill comes for the orange skies, the bodies, and the rest. I
cannot pay it. 6) Better to die. I lean back. I close my eyes. The arch-
angels applaud.
During alan’s monologue, juliana stops mowing, crosses to the sink and
washes compulsively. The faucet begins to drip. tom and juliana kiss. juliana
takes the baby from tom.
juliana: (Singing to the baby) Tinkerbell, Tinkerbell, back from hell, we
wish you well. (Spoken) Little fat man, lick the pot man, tallest man,
u•u A B D O H

gilded man, little St. Peter the actor man. (Wolves howl. juliana sings.)
‘‘Children of the Heavenly Father / safely in His bosom gather / nestling
bird or star in Heaven / ne’er a refuge e’er was given.
Lights slowly fade.
496

the end