JCFSmai 2020

See discussions, stats, and author profiles for this publication at: https://www.researchgate.
net/publication/341535145
Parenting and Relational Well-being During the Transition to Parenthood:

Challenges for First-time Parents
Article in Journal of Child and Family Studies · July 2020

DOI: 10.1007/s10826-020-01727-z
CITATIONS READS
51 1,863
4 authors, including:
Sylvie Levesque Laurence Charton

Université du Québec à Montréal Institut National de la Recherche Scientifique
59 PUBLICATIONS 198 CITATIONS 80 PUBLICATIONS 178 CITATIONS
SEE PROFILE SEE PROFILE
Mylène Fernet
Université du Québec à Montréal
137 PUBLICATIONS 939 CITATIONS
SEE PROFILE
All content following this page was uploaded by Sylvie Levesque on 29 May 2020.
The user has requested enhancement of the downloaded file.

Parenting and Relational Well-being
During the Transition to Parenthood:
Challenges for First-time Parents
Sylvie Lévesque, Véronique Bisson,

Laurence Charton & Mylène Fernet
Journal of Child and Family Studies
ISSN 1062-1024
J Child Fam Stud

DOI 10.1007/s10826-020-01727-z
1 23
Your article is protected by copyright and
all rights are held exclusively by Springer
Science+Business Media, LLC, part of
Springer Nature. This e-offprint is for personal
use only and shall not be self-archived in
electronic repositories. If you wish to self-
archive your article, please use the accepted
manuscript version for posting on your own
website. You may further deposit the accepted
manuscript version in any repository,
provided it is only made publicly available 12
months after official publication or later and
provided acknowledgement is given to the
original source of publication and a link is
inserted to the published article on Springer's
website. The link must be accompanied by
the following text: "The final publication is
available at link.springer.com”.
1 23
Author's personal copy
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-020-01727-z
ORIGINAL PAPER
Parenting and Relational Well-being During the Transition

to Parenthood: Challenges for First-time Parents
1
Sylvie Lévesque ●
Véronique Bisson1 Laurence Charton2 Mylène Fernet1
● ●
© Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2020
Abstract
The transition to parenthood is a momentous time that has numerous repercussions for new parents, as a couple and as
individuals. This qualitative exploratory study examines new parents’ experiences and perceptions of the challenges in
assuming the parenting role and maintaining relational well-being. Twenty-three new parent heterosexual or same-sex
couples, belonging to various ethnocultural groups, with a child aged from 6 to 18 months, and residing in the Greater
Montreal Area (Québec, Canada) underwent semi-directed dyadic interviews followed by individual interviews. Topics
addressed concerned their trajectories before, during, and after the child’s birth. Thematic analysis revealed three central
1234567890();,:
1234567890();,:
challenges during the transition to parenthood: (1) loss of individuality and couplehood, given the primary identity as parent;
(2) parental equality in terms of childcare and the associated tasks: a significant source of irritation; and (3) managing
expectations: the influence of social norms and judgments on parental self-development. Gender, the fact of having borne the
child or not, and identification as a homoparental family influenced the experience of the transition to parenthood. These
challenges were amplified by factors that impeded their adjustment to the new parenting role: fatigue and lack of sleep; social
isolation and feelings of solitude; and the work–school–family balancing act. Recommendations aimed at the sharing of
tasks, the distribution of parental leave and the gendered nature of maternity are proposed to make new and future parents
aware of these game-changing transformations during the transition to parenthood.
Keywords Parenthood Challenge Couplehood Transition Qualitative research
● ● ● ●
Highlights
● Both parents found it rather challenging to combine and balance their different roles and identities (parent, self, partner).
● Striking a fair balance in terms of childcare is a challenge: (1) its burden seemed to depend on gender, and (2) parents
tended to fall into stereotyped parenting roles.
● Gender is not the only angle to explore the sharing childcare tasks and responsibilities, as the mental burden was heavier
for the mothers who had borne the child in same-sex couples.
● There is notable paradox in the social norms for parenting. On the one hand, there is a strong social pressure to fully
invest in this new role and to devote themselves to their baby. On the other hand, they face strong social pressure to be
more than just a parent and continue to accomplish things in other life spheres.
Albeit a common experience, the transition to parenthood

(TtoP) is a far from insignificant rite of passage. It con-
stitutes a major developmental stage and a life event that
influences aspects of psychological functioning and well-
* Sylvie Lévesque being across individuals, couples, and families (Meleis
levesque.sylvie@uqam.ca
2010; Mercer 2004). Bringing new tasks and greater
1
Department of Sexology, University of Quebec at Montreal, responsibilities in its wake, it wreaks havoc on the daily
Montreal, QC, Canada routine (Gameiro et al. 2011). Most first-time parents sur-
2
INRS—Urbanization, Culture, and Society Center, Montreal, QC, vive the transition well enough and adapt adequately to their
Canada new parenting role (Petch and Halford 2008; Shorey et al.
2017). However, others find it harder to manage (Cowan Garcia 2011; Trice-Black 2010). The research shows that
and Cowan 1995; Petch and Halford 2008). A review of the women in particular are subjected to heavy pressures to
literature on the main perinatal vulnerabilities shows that conform with, measure up to, and comply with social
the chief complaints—mostly by women—are fatigue and definitions of the ideal mother who perfectly meets her
exhaustion, psychological distress and high stress, and child’s needs. However, this exacting representation of
being saddled with too many new tasks and responsibilities, motherhood fails to account for a wide range of social
particularly when social support is lacking (Hamelin-Bra- contexts and a diversity of life experiences (Lapierre and
bant et al. 2015). For some, the heavy pressures of social Damant 2012; Romagnoli and Wall 2012). Women must
judgments only exacerbate these problems (Hays 1996; also cope with social norms and judgments concerning their
Wall 2010). ability to balance their roles as mother, partner, and pro-
Some changes are more likely to contribute to lower fessional (Trice-Black 2010). Mothers are expected to
relationship satisfaction: changing roles within the couple devote all their time and energy to their child, but still be
(trending to gender-specific and traditional), less time for independent women with their own career and interests
couple communication combined with more negative and (Brown 2010). Hence, they are not free to choose the
conflictual communication, reduced household income, maternal role that suits them best. Instead, they attempt to
painful or uncomfortable sexual relations after the birth, and conform to the “new momism,” defined as “a set of ideals,
lower quality and frequency of couple time (Petch and norms, and practices, most frequently and powerfully pre-
Halford 2008). Marital satisfaction is an important factor for sented in the media that seem on the surface to celebrate
couple maintenance as well as investment in the parental motherhood but which in reality promulgates standards of
role (Gameiro et al. 2011). In this sense, the TtoP is a tricky perfection that are beyond your reach” (Douglas and
time for couples: first-time parenthood erodes marital Michaels 2004). Fathers, for their part, are under heavy
satisfaction (Doss and Rhoades 2017; Lawrence et al. 2008; social pressure to provide an adequate family income and be
Nonterah et al. 2016; Twenge et al. 2003), which can be a the main economic support for the family (Kushner et al.
source of tension between couples (Nelson et al. 2014). It 2017). This ideal masculine identity as the breadwinner
can also amplify existing problems in the relationship limits the possibilities of enacting other parenting roles
(Bronte-Tinkew et al. 2009; Doss and Rhoades 2017) and (Kushner et al. 2017), such as stay-at-home dad.
engender an unsatisfactory coparenting relationship (e.g., The majority of studies on the TtoP have focused on
arguments about child rearing) (Atkinson et al. 2000). repercussions for the psychological and physical health of
In addition, the accumulation of different identities (self, new parents and relational satisfaction, mainly using sur-
parent, partner) can be hard to handle, and it can take time veys of mothers, and often in the context of stable hetero-
to feel comfortable and competent as a parent (Doss and sexual relationships (Doss and Rhoades 2017; Doss et al.
Rhoades 2017). The birth of a first child obliges both 2009; Lawrence et al. 2008; Mitnick et al. 2009; Twenge
partners to redefine their roles, expectations, and interac- et al. 2003). However, contemporary parenthood has
tions (Doss and Rhoades 2017). The more pliant routine departed from traditional models, introducing new family
before the baby’s arrival now demands a more prescriptive configurations and diversified trajectories (Bastard 2006;
style (de Goede and Greeff 2016). As the parenting role Charton 2006). Studies have also demonstrated the impor-
becomes the priority, parents often neglect their own needs tance of considering the father’s experience (Brady et al.
in favor of the child’s needs, which can have repercussions 2017; Entsieh and Hallström 2016; Ledenfors and Berterö
for the well-being of the partners (de Goede and Greeff 2016), and in the case of lesbian couples, of the other
2016; Delicate et al. 2018). New parents often complain that mother (Baiocco et al. 2015). Furthermore, only a few
they no longer have the freedom nor the flexibility to studies have taken the couple as the unit of analysis, which
schedule their lives as they would like, enjoy free time, or limits the understanding of the potential repercussions for
do activities outside the family sphere (i.e., “me time”) (de couples. In addition, studies have demonstrated that the
Goede and Greeff 2016). Parents often feel overburdened context in which the TtoP takes place exerts considerable
with tasks: there is not enough time to do everything they influence on the adjustment to parenthood. For example,
would like to do, or to take care of themselves and the being an immigrant (Glick 2010), a member of a sexual
couple relationship (de Goede and Greeff 2016; Delicate minority (Goldberg and Smith 2011; Greenbaum 2015), or
et al. 2018; Neves Carvalho et al. 2017). Consequently, they in a precarious socioeconomic situation (Oxford et al. 2005)
may feel like they have lost control over their own life modulates the TtoP pathway.
(Darvill et al. 2010). To better document the perspectives of first-time con-
Studies have addressed new parents’ perceptions of temporary parents from a dyadic perspective, we conducted
social pressures and judgments and the influence of these on a qualitative exploratory study. Couples who had become
parenthood and marriage (Brown 2010; Damant et al. 2012; first-time parents within 18 months prior to the study were
asked to share their perceptions about the main challenges representative of Montreal’s diverse cultural population: 31
they encountered in assuming their parenting role and were French Canadian (majority Caucasian), 4 were French
maintaining relational well-being. We adopted the life Canadian but of a visible minority (First Nations, Black,
course approach (Elder et al. 2003; Heinz and Marshall and Latino), 5 were French (European, majority Causca-
2003), a theoretical perspective that considers various tra- sian), 1 was African, and 2 were Latin American. Average
jectories (e.g., family, professional), transitions (between duration of the couple relationship was 6.5 years, ranging
social status and roles), key events and turning points from 2 to 14 years. Participants’ age varied from 27 to 49
(“forks in the road”), reversals, and the social influences and years, for an average of 31.9 years. Of the 46 parents, 34
constraints that bend these trajectories. This approach had completed a university degree, indicating a high edu-
allows capturing the complexity of a trajectory or process cation level for the sample. The main occupation at the time
via four basic principles: (1) time and place; (2) linked lives; of the couple interviews presents several configurations. Of
(3) human agency (i.e., the ability to construct one’s life the heterosexual couples, both partners worked full-time in
through choice and action), and (4) structural constraints 7, the father worked full-time and the mother was on par-
(e.g., public policies, institutions) that shape individual lives ental leave in 7, both parents were students in 2, both
(Elder et al. 2003; Gaudet et al. 2013). We chose this partners were looking for work in 1, the mother worked full-
conceptual framework as an effective method to shed light time and the father was a student in 1, and the mother was a
on the individual and couple trajectories and the experiences student and the father worked full-time in 1. There were no
of new parents across a variety of social contexts, and to couples in which the mother worked and the father was on
grasp the complexity of their journey toward parenthood parental leave. Of the same-sex couples, both mothers
(Carpentier and White 2013). worked full-time in 2, the mother who bore the child was a
student and the other mother worked in 1, and the mother
who bore the child was looking for work while the other
Methods mother was a student in 1.
The vast majority of participants deemed their financial
Participants situation satisfactory. Data are presented in Table 1.
The participants comprised 23 couples who were inter- Procedures

viewed about the contemporary transition to parenthood
(TtoP) in Montreal (Canada). Participants were recruited Two interviewers met with the participants for about 3 h
from February 2017 to March 2018 by staff at community total, following a four-step process. First, the parents par-
centers providing perinatal services, perinatal resource ticipated in a dyadic interview lasting one hour on average.
centers, daycare centers, and family community groups. One interviewer led the interview while the other inter-
Notices were also posted at these facilities and on social viewer observed. The two partners then underwent indivi-
networking sites. The parents who were interviewed were dual simultaneous interviews lasting 90 min on average.
also invited to contact other new parents among their Interviews were held either at the participants’ home or in a
acquaintances, according to the principle of network sam- dedicated room at the principal researcher’s university. The
pling, or “snowball sampling” (Miles et al. 2019). In main themes addressed in the dyadic interviews were
addition, organizations with more specific mandates helped marriage, sex life, challenges encountered during the TtoP,
recruit participants to provide more diversity within the and the couple’s coping strategies. The individual inter-
sample (e.g., LGBTQ+ and immigrant families). While views focused on the development of the parental identity,
intended to represent a diversity of cases and to illustrate a perceived impacts of the baby’s arrival, main individual
mix of social standings, the sample comprised couples who challenges encountered, and individual coping strategies. At
were still together at the time of the interview and who met the end of the interviews, participants responded to a brief
the following inclusion criteria: (1) parents of a first child sociodemographic questionnaire. They were also ques-
aged from 6 to 18 months; (2) able to express themselves in tioned about the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy
French; and (3) living in the Greater Montreal Area (Pro- and whether or not they wanted to have more children; the
vince of Québec, Canada). Some couples were married and couple relationship; and the presence of violent behavior
others were in a common-law partnership (“de facto union”) between the partners. One question asked which topics the
or else a cohabitation arrangement. participants had discussed with health professionals at
Of the 23 interviewed couples, 19 identified as hetero- prenatal consultations. Participants received CAD 40$ in
sexual and 4 as same-sex couples, either lesbian or queer. compensation at the end of the interviews. Certain details in
Of the 46 new parents, 23 mothers had borne the child and 4 the interview transcriptions were changed to protect parti-
mothers and 19 fathers had not. The participants are cipant anonymity. Any information that could identify the
Table 1 Participant
Characteristics % Number of men Number of women
sociodemographic
(Total sample; (n = 19)
characteristics by gender MWBC MdnBC
n = 43)
(n = 46) (n = 23) (n = 4)
Age (years)
25–29 30.4% 5 7 1
30–34 47.8% 9 12 1
35–39 13.0% 3 4 0
40–44 6.5% 1 0 2
45–49 2.2% 1 0 0
Education level
University—graduate degree 26.0% 4 7 1
University—bachelor’s degree 47.8% 9 11 2
College 19.6% 4 4 1
High school 6.5% 2 1 0
Sexual orientation
Heterosexual 73.9% 19 15 0
Lesbian 13.0% 0 3 3
Bi-curious/bisexual 8.7% 0 4 0
Queer 4.3% 0 1 1
a
Self-reported ethnocultural group
French Canadian (majority Caucasian) 70% 10 17 3
French Canadian of a visible minority 9% 3 1 0
French (European, majority Caucasian) 11.6% 2 3 0
African 2.3% 1 0
Latin American 7% 2 1 0
Main (actual) occupationb
Full-time job 62.2% 15 10 3
Parental leave 15.6% 0 7 1
Full-time school 13.3% 2 3 0
Seeking employment 6.7% 1 2 0
Part-time job 2.2% 0 1 0
Degree of financial satisfactionb
Very satisfied 15.6% 4 2 1
Somewhat satisfied 68.9% 12 19 0
Somewhat dissatisfied 13.3% 2 2 2
Very dissatisfied 2.2% 0 0 1
MWBC mother who bore the child, MdnBC mother who did not bear the child
a
n = 43
b
n = 45
participants has been removed (e.g., name, date of birth, and verifying initial data conclusions to ensure plausibility
address), and all participants have been assigned pseudo- (Mukamurera 2006). A mixed coding grid was developed in
nyms. No participant withdrew from the study. Nvivo 11. The first three interviews were coded by two
members of the research team and then submitted for dis-
Data Analysis cussion to obtain satisfactory interjudge agreement within
the team. All interviews were coded by two members of the
Inspired by thematic analysis (Braun and Clarke 2012), we team. Matrices and visual representations were created to
used an iterative process with alternating data collection and better understand the phenomena that emerged from the
analysis. This allows detecting missing data in time, data, extract significant categories, and revisit the more
adjusting the subsequent data collection in consequence, salient aspects of the considered phenomena. This analysis
procedure also allowed identifying repeated relationships corresponding interview number. Due to space constraints,
between the dimensions of the conceptual categories. the adaptation strategies that the parents used to cope with
Consistent with the guiding theoretical framework, special the new challenges are not presented here. Nevertheless, it
attention was paid to gender, sexual orientation, and age to is worth mentioning that they tried many different approa-
better discern how they differentiated the trajectories, ches, individually and as a couple, to mitigate the negative
notably by contrasting participants’ statements about these impacts.
social markers.
Loss of Individuality and Couplehood: The Primary
Identity as a Parent During the Transition to
Results Parenthood
The analysis of the dyadic and individual interviews From the participants’ statements, the majority felt that
revealed three major challenges during the TtoP and high- becoming a first-time parent resulted in feelings of loss:
lighted the contexts that weaken this transition. Formulated they lost themselves as both individuals and as a couple.
as conceptual categories, they are: (1) loss of individuality Generally, they blamed the priority they gave to the par-
and couplehood due to the primary identity as a parent enting role over their other identities. In their depictions of
during the TtoP; (2) parental equality in terms of childcare how they organized and managed the realities of day-to-day
and related tasks: a significant source of irritation; (3) family life, the baby reigned supreme. The challenges in
managing expectations: the influence of social norms and juggling their identities (self–parent–partner) were numer-
judgments on parental self-development; and (4) various ous and major. In this section, we illustrate how the TtoP
contexts that impeded the adjustment to parenthood (see generated feelings of loss of individuality and weakened the
Table 2 for a summary of the conceptual categories). couple relationship. The themes fall into two subcategories:
In the extracts, the respondents are identified as follows: (1) raising a child requires considerable selflessness; and
F = father, M = mother who bore the child in a heterosexual (2) balancing the roles: no easy task.
couple, M1 = mother who bore the child in a same-sex
couple, and M2 = mother who did not bear the child in a Raising a child requires considerable selflessness
same-sex couple. These designations were combined with a
The majority of the parents said that the baby was a major
interruption in their life as it was before the pregnancy: they
Table 2 Summary of conceptual categories had to shift the focus of their activities and priorities from
Themes and subthemes themselves to the new arrival, as reported by 12 couples. As
parents, they felt they had to forget about themselves, or put
Loss of individuality and couplehood due to the primary identity as a
themselves aside. Many explained that the most difficult
parent during the TtoP
role-balancing act was to find some “alone time” or “me
Raising a child requires considerable selflessness
time.” The daily agenda centered around providing the baby
Balancing the roles: no easy task
with plenty of attention and care, leaving the parents little
Parental equality in terms of childcare and the associated tasks: a
significant source of irritation
respite. This could make them feel that they were at the
Responsibility for childcare according to gender
beck and call of the baby’s needs. The lack of time and
respite also meant that less time was available for social life
Stereotyped mothering and fathering roles
and exercise. It became hard to find time for themselves or
Managing expectations: The influence of social norms, judgments,
and pressures on parental self-development to do things they enjoyed without the baby. Even though
The parenting role and “proper” child development are shaped by this change was not a surprise—it was expected—, it was
numerous norms more significant than they had anticipated.
Social norms, judgments, and pressures have multiple negative
repercussions for new parents It’s the personal life that gets tossed out, my personal
Various contexts that impede the adjustment to parenthood life. […] I don’t really have any time for myself. For
Fatigue and lack of sleep as a continuous state of body and mind me, as a person, it’s kind of hard. It’s really my role as
Social isolation and feelings of solitude: a threat to well-being a father: to help out, to try and help out. To fight
Financial precariousness and discrimination at work: stresses that tiredness, to, […] go make supper even if you don’t
render the partners vulnerable feel like it. Then give him his bath, even if you feel
Balancing work, school, and family life: an additional task in an like having a nice relaxing shower instead. (F,
already filled life Couple 4)
It’s true, it’s a big challenge to, […] feel kind of, a planning meals or finishing the cooking. Sometimes, I
little negative, almost, about it, because you’ve got a try doing two things at once, like cooking and being
child. You feel like you only exist through him, but with my baby. So the last thing on my list is my
you’d still like to be a person in your own right. So partner. At the end of the day. Then I can give him a
it’s really quite hard for the first few years, I find, to little more, […] a little more time. It’s like a schedule.
get that validation somewhere else, […] To, you Like a calendar of activities. (M, Couple 23)
know, […] It’s fun to be a parent, but, […] Let’s say
that you’d also like to be living another life. (M, These illustrations demonstrate how the many new
Couple 8) responsibilities of parenthood forced the partners to plan
and organize their family life, schedules, and routines in a
more structured manner. This greatly diminished their
Balancing the roles: no easy task spontaneity and freedom, which many of them missed, as
well as the frequency of their activities and outings as a
The parents were unanimous on one point: it was difficult to couple. In addition, many couples reported that in order to
balance the partner and parenting roles. The parenting role avoid using a babysitter, they had to go out individually
took up all the space, to the detriment of the partner role. As while the partner stayed home (reported by couples 5, 8, 12,
the parenting role took precedence, the baby’s routine and and 17), as this extract illustrates:
fulfilling the baby’s needs became the top priority. This left
considerably less place for the needs of the partner and the Yeah, there’s less time to do other things, too. We go
relationship, or for couple time. This dynamic transformed out less. […] We see our friends separately, I’d say,
the relationship: “We have [the baby] with us now, and we and that’s a big difference. Before, we were like
don’t get much couple time, because I feel like the couple everybody else, but now we do more things alone. We
has turned into a family” (M, Couple 22). As reported by do them together too, but actually a lot of things
14 (of 23) couples in the dyadic interviews, the baby’s individually. She sees her friends, I see my friends
routine and needs came first, which meant less and less time when I can, and the other one minds the baby. (M1,
left over for couple life: “The couple is no longer the Couple 12)
priority. It’s more the baby or the family, the unit. […] The
baby [first], then after, the girlfriend stuff. That’s all over” It is important to mention that the mothers who bore their
(M1, Couple 18). Moreover, they reported that even when child were less inclined than their partners to use a baby-
they managed to find some time to be alone together, sitter or to do activities without the baby. Some partners
mainly at night when the baby was asleep, the parenting recounted how they had to persuade their partner of the
role continued, because they had to respond to the baby’s importance of putting aside the mothering role from time to
needs if necessary. time so they could enjoy some couple time:
Yeah. Yeah, because even at night, even when it’s just But at the same time, I have to try to make it happen,
the two of us, we can’t say, “OK, let’s eat out,” like, it’s because you’re not just a mother. There are
because the baby’s there asleep. It’s like we’re alone other things in life. […] She says, “Yeah, it’s true that
with each other, but the parenting role still kind of it’s been a long time since we went out, you’re right!”
hangs over us, because if [the baby] decides to start How long has it been? It’s been two months since we
crying at 8:30, she’s gonna cry. It’s like the sword of went out alone, or together. I told her, “I’d like it if we
Damocles over your head, because she could start could get your family to babysit.” […] I think we
crying at any second. So anyway, she’s at home, so deserve a break. OK, sure, when our baby’s asleep,
we can’t go out. And that sort of limits us. (M, we’ll go see a film, cozy and cuddly, but it’s not, […]
Couple 14) The problem is, it’s routine. It’s fun to change things
up, to just get up and go. Yes, it’s couple time, but we
It took sizeable effort to play the partner role, to spend could do more than that. (M2, Couple 19)
time with the partner and nurture the relationship. This
mother described how she planned her day to include some
time with her partner: The first time that I talked to her about it, she took it
badly. Because sometimes when you say something,
I follow an agenda. I have my priorities. The first sometimes it comes out all wrong. So anyway, it was
priority is my baby. Once I’ve finished all the baby taken the wrong way. So then after, I explained to her,
chores, I can start doing things around the house, like “I’d like to spend some time together. I’d like us to go
to a restaurant. I’d like us to spend at least a day doing For everyday challenges, certainly, I’m the one who
something.” So then, she agreed. It just took some deals with them, because my boyfriend, he’s not really
discussing, […] some communication, but it’s hard to […] he’s not really the type to get involved and say,
tell your partner, “Hey, you take your role as a mother “Hmmm, what should her first solid food be?” or
too seriously.” That sounds harsh, I think. Because “What should she be doing now?” or “How come
you’re a parent, but at the same time we have to find she’s not sitting up yet?” He doesn’t really do that
some time for ourselves, too. And in the end, we did it kind of thing. It’s more me. That’s how it is. And I
one time and we were super happy. I found that things was in charge of that, and I did all that, more than him.
went better for us as a couple. We found some breathing (M, Couple 3)
space for ourselves too. (F, Couple 10)
Moreover, this mental burden went beyond the day-to-
The new planning and organizational constraints that day tasks and responsibilities to include protection of the
parenthood imposes, the lack of couple time, and the family. For example, one mother, despite her desire to
demotion to second place (after the baby) can create tension resume her studies, decided not to quit her job because it
and conflict between the partners and erode their relational came with social benefits (e.g., health insurance, sick days,
satisfaction. family holidays) that she might need. She mentioned in the
same breath that her male partner was in a position to look
M2: I just get the impression that parenthood has for a new job without worrying about any of that.
accentuated our differences. This differentiated burden that the mothers described had
begun even before the child’s birth, during pregnancy, and
is consistent with the reproductive burden. This differ-
M1: Yeah, maybe. Me being more structured, entiated burden refers less to the childbearing process itself
controlling also, I think that this comes out. And and more to all the surrounding circumstances. For exam-
you being more disorganized. […] I gave everything I ple, one woman explained that she had to attend all her
had to [son’s name]. I forgot about myself, and then medical appointments, with or without her partner: “I
she criticized me for not being there enough for her. understand, but in my case, I have to go. I’ve got other
[…] Sometimes she came home from work and said, things to do with my life. But I’ve got no choice. I’m the one
“I’m going out for a beer with a colleague. I need a who’s having the baby, you see” (M, Couple 2). Three other
break,” while me, I’d just spent all day and night […]. mothers said that their pregnancy had necessitated changes
We were, like, living on two different planets, and that in their nutrition and lifestyle (e.g., alcohol or cigarette use,
made me detach [from her]. (M1 and M2, Couple 12) sleep habits), whereas their partner made no such changes.
These situations could give rise to feelings of unfairness, as
this respondent testified:
Parental Equality in Terms of Childcare and Related
Tasks: A Significant Source of Irritation I got pregnant, so for me […]. I found it hard to stop
drinking […]. So for me, it really pissed me off,
As the new family structure emerged, the partners found it because he’d tried to stop smoking. But then, at a
considerably challenging to strike a fair balance in terms of certain point, he started again. [F: I couldn’t do it.] So
childcare and the related tasks. They tended to report that me, I was really mad. (M, Couple 16)
they were dissatisfied on two main counts: (1) the burden of
childcare seemed to depend on gender, and (2) they tended It is interesting to note that only one mother, who was in
to fall into stereotyped parenting roles. a same-sex couple and who stopped smoking while preg-
nant, reported that her partner completely quit smoking as
Responsibility for childcare according to gender well (M1, Couple 18).
Although the mothers who had borne the child said that
Among other challenges, several mothers said that they had the burden of childcare was not shared equally with their
to assume the majority of the mental burden of childcare. partner, some attributed this to their own character, which
They were in charge of organizing and managing the day- would explain in part the division of tasks. Others thought
to-day family and domestic life. This meant taking care of about what they could do to achieve a better balance
the housework, scheduling (e.g., medical appointments), between the partners, while at the same time wondering
shopping, meals, and the bulk of the childcare. In addition, whether the game was worth the candle. Both situations are
this burden was associated with the child’s development, as well illustrated by this mother:
illustrated by this extract:
But at bottom, I’m more organized, and I’ve got a [babies crying] better than men. I get that impression, but,
better memory than he does. So it’s completely natural […] So that’s why it’s really, really hard for me to wake up
that it all falls on me. But, sometimes, it’s hard to bear the way she does” (F, Couple 5). In general, the mothers
it all by myself. The fact is, he’s [the baby] still who bore the child said that the division of parental leave,
young. You know, I don’t have to plan, you know, my the fact of having borne the child, the childbirth itself, and
courses. And school and all that. But […] you know, breastfeeding went a long way to explain the stereotypical
to tell him, “Call the doctor and make an appoint- division of roles and tasks. For the parents who had not
ment,” it takes so much more energy than if I just pick borne the child, the main explanatory factors for the dif-
up the phone and call the doctor myself. So, at times, I ferentiated roles and tasks were breastfeeding, the division
ask myself if it’s really worth the trouble for me to of parental leave, and time spent with the baby, but not
push him to do it when it doesn’t really ease my mind, gender. As one mother explained’ “I think the fact that the
because I have to remind him to do it, you know baby usually spends more time with the mother means that
[laughs]. (M, Couple 5) maybe the baby feels more reassured when’s she’s around,
and more quickly. But in the reverse situation, it would be
However, gender is not the only angle from which to the father, in the same way” (M, couple 8). Many parents
explore the system for sharing childcare tasks and respon- felt that these different roles could have been influenced by
sibilities. The mental burden was also heavy for the mothers the parental leave. A mother on parental leave could end up
who had borne the child in same-sex couples, according to spending considerably more time with the baby, and more
the childbearing mothers in these couples (3 of 4). For one so for a breastfeeding mother. These two contexts enable
such mother (M1, Couple 18), her partner expected her to the mother to build closer bonds with the baby, which could
read up on child development and so on and then tell her lead to task specialization. This naturized mothering role
what to do. She was also responsible for managing the would never end in equitable roles, according to this
family schedule, including not only the baby’s medical mother:
appointments and activities, but couple and family life as
well. Another childbearing mother in a same-sex couple Even if everybody wants to make things fair, the baby
explained: is still going to, […] is going to want its Mommy. And
[partner’s name] even told me, “I want to help, but I
Because she’s not the one who initiates the washing don’t have your breasts. What do you want me to do?
up, the housework, the meals. So even if I try to let it If he cries, it’s because he wants your breast.” And
go, if I haven’t made supper, then there’s nothing to that was that. At night, when we started giving him
eat, or she’s going to wake up at six-thirty and inquire, formula, I told him, “OK, tonight, if the baby cries,
“What’s for supper?” And nothing’s ready. The fact you’re getting up and you’re giving him the bottle.
is, somebody has to take on this role. I find it hard, Because me, tonight, I’m sleeping.” But no, he gave
because in a perfect world, it would be shared, and I the baby the bottle and the baby kept on crying, and
don’t feel that it is. The fact is that the mental burden crying, and crying. Just because he [partner] wanted
—we hear a lot about that—I’ve got a heavy one to me to “feel his pain.” So it’s never a fair deal. Never.
bear. So that things get done. Thinking about But if Daddy could find a little more time to spend
everything. I mean, when we go out, I’m always the with the baby, that would be nice. (M, Couple 23)
one who prepares the baby bag […] the diaper bag. I
prepare for whatever. […] If anything happens, I’m Whereas the majority of the fathers who took parental
ready. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of leave (5 months) took it at the same time as the mother so
cure, so to speak. (M1, Couple 12) that both parents could take care of the baby, one couple did
things differently. The parental leave can be shared between
the two parents: the mother can spend about five months
Stereotyped mothering and fathering roles with the baby and the father can then take an eight-month
leave in rotation. This couple said that it was a way for each
Some parents described how their parenting roles followed of them to build their parenting skills and get to know the
stereotypical patterns. For example, mothers were more baby. Consequently, they did not crystallize their parenting
comforting while fathers played more with the child. One roles by gender:
father assumed that women were innately in tune with their
baby’s needs: “I get the impression that […] women are I stayed at home with her for 8 months. […] Her
sort of, they sort of have an innate ability to hear them mother wasn’t there. So, I woke up in the morning,
gave the baby her bottle, and made her breakfast. Me, Managing Expectations: The Influence of Social
you know, […] everything that my girlfriend can do, I Norms, Judgments, and Pressures on Parental Self-
can do too. Give the bath. Comb her hair [laughs]. development
[…] But what I liked the most is that I didn’t have her
at the beginning. I had her at 3 months. She was The analysis of the testimonies revealed that the parenting
awake more of the time, so I could really spend time role as well as the child’s well-being, development, and
with her. And I got to know her, and she got to know upbringing were subjected to numerous social norms. The
me. And she got really attached to me. I think that’s participants described how, thanks to these omnipresent
very important. Really. At first, I was, like, “Oh, I’m social norms and judgments, it was difficult to harmo-
doing this to learn, or to help out, or it’s my turn.” niously develop their identity as a competent parent. In this
But in the end, it’s really, it’s very important. So I’m section, we present the challenges in developing the par-
happy that I did it. (F, Couple 3) enting identity and feelings of parenting competence under
the influence of a plethora of social norms, judgments, and
pressures. The identified themes again fall into two sub-
And it’s really something, the separate parental leave. categories: (1) the parenting role and proper child devel-
It’s something that was important for me. Because I opment are shaped by numerous norms; and (2) social
found that it was also important for my baby to norms, judgments, and pressures have multiple negative
develop a very strong attachment bond with her father, impacts for new parents.
because I didn’t want to be […] I don’t want to be
[…] you know, I don’t want to feel like if I go out or The parenting role and proper child development are
something comes up, then the baby’s in deep doo-doo. shaped by numerous norms
Because Daddy won’t know what to do. Whatever I
do, I want to know that he can do it too. So that’s it. Three sources of pressure were extracted from the parents’
It’s something we discussed ahead of time. I’ve testimonies: (1) medical opinions about optimal child
always said that, in my opinion, a family where the development; (2) social pressures to invest in parenting; and
mother does everything and the father doesn’t know (3) family pressures based on cultural norms. First, spe-
what’s going on around him and the children just cialists in early childhood health, development, and learning
listen to their mother is not the kind of family that I’m develop medical and developmental standards and norms.
interested in. (M, Couple 3) These in turn set up expectations and exert substantial
pressures on parents to comply with prescribed child-
One challenge that was raised by a same-sex couple rearing practices. In addition, they establish developmental
concerned the value given to the mothering role. This milestones for children to attain and learning stages to
challenge was not mentioned by the fathers in the hetero- achieve. As one mother described it, “That too, it was
sexual couples. Although some of these fathers mentioned another stress, because the vaccines, and checking that the
that the baby seemed to be more attached to the mother or baby was OK, if he lost weight or not. That too, I find it
preferred to go to her for reassurance, they appeared to feel stressful. He has to follow the growth curve” (M, Couple
that no harm was done. However, one mother who did not 10). In addition, health professionals strongly encouraged
bear the child felt that the parenting roles within her same- the mothers to breastfeed, for the baby’s well-being. This
sex couple were harmful. She explained that her baby meant that some mothers who didn’t want to start breast-
responded differently to the two mothers. One was identi- feeding, or who didn’t want to continue because they
fied as the source of reassurance, and was called Mama. The experienced problems, felt obliged to breastfeed: “About
other was called Poppa. But both partners wanted to be the breastfeeding, well, I just talked myself into it. I told
mothers. Poppa had not borne the child, and performed less myself, ‘It just takes a few minutes. It’s not all the time. It’s
of the routine childcare due to the demands of her job. She good for the baby.’” (M, Couple 15). In this respect, it is
reported that Mamma and child were closely bonded important to mention that of the 19 mothers who bore their
because of all the time they spent together. However, child, 18 chose to breastfeed.
Momma said that if she could have foreseen these different Second, the parenting role and the required skills to
parenting roles she would have started bottle feeding earlier ensure proper child development and encourage learning
so that the other mother would be more involved in caring were also subject to social directives and pressures. These
for the baby. came in the form of advice, rules, opinions, and judgments,
sometimes asked for and sometimes not. They were based M: In France, they’re really contra breastfeeding. My
on experience: what experienced parents had done, what mother is really against breastfeeding and everything.
they knew, what had worked for them, and what had So I wasn’t brought up like that at all. […] Every time
resulted in good outcomes. The majority of the couples (13 I call her, she’s always trying to convince me to stop
of 23) said that they had received plenty of prescriptive and breastfeeding.
diversified advice and opinions from their family and
friends, other parents, and even strangers about the best
ways to do things, to be, and to behave with their baby: “So F: To put him in daycare […]. (M and F, Couple 22)
we discovered that there were plenty of people who had
advice to offer. Who knew more about what we should do Many parents resented these social judgments and pres-
than we did!” (F, Couple 11). Whether talking with friends sures concerning the parenting role (11 fathers and M2s; 19
and family or visiting social media sites, new parents mothers and M1s). Although more of the childbearing
received a barrage of advice and rules about what (and what mothers complained about these pressures and judgments,
not) to do with their baby: “Everybody tells you something many non-childbearing parents reported them as well,
different: ‘Don’t let him cry; let him cry; do this; do that’” indicating that not only biological mothers are subject to
(M, Couple 10); “So many people tell you how to feed your these evaluations. Today, both parents are targeted by such
baby, how he should sleep […]” (M, Couple 20). comments and pressures, which we may add to the list of
The participants’ statements also revealed a notable challenges during the TtoP.
paradox in these social norms for parenting. On the one
hand, there was strong social pressure on them to fully invest Social norms, judgments, and pressures have multiple
in their new role and to devote themselves to their baby, negative repercussions for new parents
particularly for mothers who bore the child: “It’s like I say,
me, I put myself second, but it seems as if society as a whole Social norms and judgments exerted undue pressure on these
wants you to put yourself second” (M, Couple 9). On the new parents. For 12 of the 23 couples, this pressure ham-
other hand, they also faced strong social pressure to be more pered them from achieving a harmonious TtoP. The cultural
than just a parent. In other words, they should not overinvest norms and judgments of family and friends created a feeling
in the parenting role. They should continue to accomplish of having to constantly justify their choices if they departed
things in other life spheres, such as couple and social life. from the dominant social norms. Sometimes the participants
concealed their choices from their family and friends.
A woman has to be a little bit of everything at the
same time. So, you have to have a career and you have Every time I called her before, she tried to convince
to be good lovers, you have to be, that is, […] Your me to have the baby in the hospital [instead of a home
husband’s lover, but at the same time an independent birth]. I was happy with what I was doing. It’s just a
woman. So, you’re supposed to have time for little annoying to be constantly justifying myself. (M,
everything. So that’s it, yes. […] So, I have to, […] Couple 22)
You have to spend time as a couple, just the two of us.
Like, we go to a restaurant, a film, or whatever, and In addition, pressure stemming from the medical field
we get someone to watch him [the baby]. And then I and inter-parent comparisons created stress, anxiety,
have to have some alone time for myself as an uncertainty, and doubts about the baby’s development and
independent woman. It doesn’t matter what the hell I their parenting skills. This pressure greatly affected their
do with that time. I could have a coffee at Starbucks, psychological well-being by fomenting feelings of failure
or I could go do whatever, and that would be my and bad parenting: “Let’s say that it was more the, […] Not
“independent woman” time. (M, Couple 22) the failures, but I was, like, ‘I wasn’t able to give birth, I
wasn’t able to breastfeed’” (M, Couple 10). Furthermore,
Third, parents who had immigrated to Canada felt par- the participants stressed that they found that the diversity of
ticular cultural pressures from their families, who wanted to advice, rules, and standards for what a competent parent
preserve their cultural heritage and customs. One participant should do for the baby’s well-being and development made
who had immigrated to Canada from France recounted how it hard to accomplish everything they were supposed to do.
she had to measure up to French cultural standards, which This caused them to feel guilty and experience performance
differed from Canadian ones. Her friends and family exerted anxiety, as this extract illustrates:
lots of pressure to comply with French child-rearing
practices: Am I making the right decision when I do this, when I
do that? But it’s especially with the baby, but also in
the couple. Should I ask him to do more? Should I ask sometimes, I get the impression that it’s, “Hey, wait a
him to do less? It’s all the time, all the time, all the second. Two women or two men can’t have a baby! That’s
time. My head is spinning. It’s about everything. […] gonna screw the kid up! […]” I’m more “out” than my
I compare myself, yes. Yes. In my circle, we’ve got a wife, but I know that it stresses her. Sometimes, she talks
lot of friends who’re going through the same thing. to me about it: “Is he going to be judged, at school,
We all have young babies, but in our families, we’re because he’s got two mothers?” (M2, Couple 19)
the first two to have a baby. We don’t get, like,
another perspective. It’s really all about superficial-
ities, depending on who you talk to. It’s like, Various Contexts that Impede the Adjustment to
everything is perfect for everybody. This makes you Parenthood
question everything. Do I have what it takes to be a
mother? For any reason. All the time, the same thing. The participants reported some key contextual challenges
[…] So that puts pressure on me. I said earlier that I that impeded successful adjustment to parenthood. Four
wanted to perform. [But] It’s hard to say, “OK, I’m situations appeared to be particularly difficult: (1) fatigue
gonna take a break now.” (M, Couple 17) and lack of sleep; (2) social isolation and feelings of soli-
tude; (3) financial precariousness and discrimination at
Social norms and judgments appear to have wielded a par- work; and (4) balancing work, school, and family life.
ticular impact on the same-sex couples, especially regarding their First, most of the couples (19 of 23) said that they had
legitimacy as a family and the baby’s well-being. This posed an put off starting a family until their circumstances were
additional challenge for them in the TtoP. Two couples favorable. They finished their schooling, found steady jobs,
emphasized that they felt morally judged in terms of their got engaged or married or lived together, moved to a sui-
homoparental lifestyle, the repercussions on the child, the het- table neighborhood, and achieved a satisfactory relationship
eronormative expectations of their families, and the challenges in that would provide a decent child-rearing environment.
departing from this norm. This strained their relationships with Both partners felt that they were also financially comfor-
their family and created further stress concerning the potential table. For the three couples whose pregnancy was unplan-
impacts on their child, such as bullying: ned and unexpected and for one couple of which one
partner was not yet ready to have a child, the TtoP unfolded
M2: We already felt like less than normal parents, in in circumstances that were less favorable, which required
our minds. some adjustment. For example, for Couple 16, an unplan-
ned pregnancy occurred very soon in their relationship. The
partners had to move in together and learn how to get along
M1: Yeah, a second-class family. Something like that. as a couple at the same time as they were going through the
That’s right. I had forgotten how hurt we were by TtoP. Moreover, the father couldn’t take any parental leave
all that. from his job, an added hardship that impeded his adjustment
to the fathering role. On top of that, because both partners
were still studying, their finances were further stretched to
M2: And constantly. For example, the landlord’s son cover the high cost of daycare:
came to fix something [and said] “Who’s the real
mother?” That’s what it’s like. Basically, it’s prejudice. F: He wasn’t even at the daycare yet. It seems like
nothing, but even $7.75 a day, for the daycare […]. In
our case, it was private, subsidized. That gets
M1: It’s about the legitimacy of our family. expensive by the month.
M2: Right, and at many levels, too. In public, for M: It’s really expensive.
instance. When we went for a hospital follow-up
appointment, we met an extremely homophobic nurse
who kept talking to [M1] and referring to her as the F: Even though it’s supposed to be provided. There’s
“husband.” (M1 and M2, Couple 1) a big difference between that, and free. It’s about $200
a month. (F and M, Couple 16)
Gay parenting is still hidden and taboo, big time. You can In addition, one of these mothers who found it hard to
be a lesbian. That’s alright. But people, in their minds, balance her school and family life ended up dropping out of
school, which she had wanted to finish before starting a And let’s suppose, you tell yourself that tonight he’s
family. For Couple 23, having a baby at this time created a gonna go to sleep really early, so then you tell
big problem for the father, who had to juggle a part-time yourself, “I can have some 100% girlfriend time.”
job, full-time school, and family life. Because he was But at the same time, you’re not feeling 100% because
unable to devote much time to the family or household you’re tired. You know, its like, […] you don’t always
chores, the couple relationship was under considerable feel like it. You’re like, “After all, I’d rather go to
strain. These more specific circumstances and the tensions bed.” I mean, my day takes a toll on my body. So
they engendered appeared to be particular to these couples. that’s the problem there. (M1, Couple 2)
Fatigue and lack of sleep as a continuous state of body

and mind Social isolation and feelings of solitude: a threat
to well-being
Almost half the couples (12 of 23) complained about lack of
sleep as well as physical and psychological fatigue in the The participants reported that parenthood considerably
first months of the baby’s life. They explained that fatigue reduced the time they could devote to outings and activities
and lack of sleep made the TtoP harder because they with family and friends. No longer being able to go out to
affected their physical and psychological well-being as well socialize as often as they wished or as often as they had before
as day-to-day functioning: the baby’s arrival generated feelings of isolation and solitude
(8 of 23 couples). The mothers who bore the child, and who
Sleep. Especially sleep, I think, yeah. When you sleep took the large majority of the parental leaves, more frequently
well, you feel good, actually. [M: Yes.] Everything reported that social isolation, intense feelings of solitude, and
seems more doable, actually. But when you don’t lack of intellectual stimulation during the parental leave
sleep, everything is, […] Not insurmountable, but undermined their psychological well-being. For example:
still, a lot harder, yeah. (F, Couple 22)
Yeah, it’s really something, that. The solitude during
the parental leave, I mean […] For sure, 90% of your
F: There was this one day, one time, when I couldn’t day, you spend it with a baby that can’t talk. (M,
go to work and I had to stay here because she was Couple 5)
really at the end of her rope. […]
M: And then, when he went back to work, then,

M: I was at the point where I was afraid to fall into a honestly, me, I ended up alone with a five-month-old
depression. […] baby and I was bored stiff. It’s a real pain. No, a five-
month-old can’t do anything. It’s awful.
F: It was too tiring, and […] that really knocks you

out. Like it or not, being tired can make you sick. (F F: Well, of course, intellectually, it’s not […]
and M, Couple 5)
Fatigue and lack of sleep also had negative impacts on the

couple relationship, notably in terms of physical and emo- M: Right, not at all! My brain, it was dissolving. It
tional intimacy and on how the partners interacted and was horrible. (M and F, Couple 14)
communicated. Fatigue also spoiled their time together as a
couple, because when their energy reserves were low, the Two couples (8 and 18) also brought up the point that the
partners tended to do less demanding activities such as TtoP reduced their circle of friends, more particularly by
watching TV, reading, or spending time on social networking weakening ties with those who didn’t have young children,
sites, to the detriment of activities they could do together. thereby increasing their social isolation.
Sometimes, we have days when I’m, like, “We don’t It changes things in our circle of friends, too, of
even tell each other, ‘I love you,’ or kiss or anything.” course. In our relationships. We both went through
[…] Because we’re so tired at night, we’re both on our this. We both have friends that we don’t hear much
screens, or I read, to turn my brain off. (M, Couple 10) from anymore. (F, Couple 8)
We go out a little less often. We see the outside world

a little less. And we feel like we get fewer invitations, Other mothers recounted situations of discrimination at
with the baby and all. […] Our friends no longer think work in connection with the pregnancy and childbirth. One
to say, “Hey, we’re going out for a drink. Want to mother did not have her job contract renewed, and she
come?” Because they know that it’s more compli- learned this some time after she had announced her
cated for us. (M1, Couple 18) pregnancy:
Having immigrated to Canada, some parents (couples 6, Me, I think that the biggest challenge that I had to
14, 22, and 23) were lacking the assistance and support of a face, it’s the dispute with my employers at my job
family network. This led to strong feelings of isolation, when I told them that I was pregnant. And they left it
which they found psychologically difficult. Moreover, till later, so it didn’t leave me much time. You could
because no family was on hand to help with the daily say that this caused me a lot of anxiety. It took me by
household chores and management, they got little respite, surprise. I was working in [a sector]. They knew.
which contributed to impede the TtoP. They had preventive withdrawals. They knew how the
system worked. They knew that I was a young
I was well prepared for the pregnancy and the birth, woman, that I hadn’t had any kids yet, and that I
but motherhood as such, there, I got a big, big shock, wanted them. Because I’d already told them that. I
let’s say. […] I wasn’t prepared for that at all. And the really wasn’t expecting this to happen, so I was
fact of not having a network, […] Of, of, […] Well, shocked when it did, and I had to deal with it. (M,
that’s it. Not having a network, the isolation. I found Couple 8)
that very hard on my mental health. […] So, us, we
don’t really have anyone here to take over for us. […] Another job-related situation was reported by the non-
And also, it’s not being able to take a breather. (M, childbearing mother in a same-sex couple. When she told
Couple 6) her employers about her partner’s pregnancy and her
intention to take parental leave, she had to consent to dis-
close her homosexuality, which she had been concealing
Financial Precariousness and Discrimination at from her professional circle. Furthermore, her contract was
Work: Stresses that Render the Partners Vulnerable not renewed, and with no explanation:
A few couples reported that financial and/or professional No reason, two weeks in advance. […] That’s when I
precariousness was a major challenge during the TtoP. This really started to do something about it. File the
was a particular worry for autonomous workers, who paperwork, but […] No! They didn’t need me
accepted work contracts as they came in for fear of not anymore! So I don’t know. […] In my opinion, […]
getting enough work later. This meant occasional work Me, I don’t think that it was my immediate boss,
overload, absences from the home, and hence less invol- because she gave me very positive feedback. I get the
vement in childcare and less support for the partner. impression that this comes from higher up. […] I found
it bizarre. […] I tell myself, “What the hell! Y’know?
I think that a situation of financial security, also. Yeah, Are they homophobes up there and I just don’t know
we’re in a precarious situation, and because my it?” […] It brings me down! And y’know, […] If I was
studies are completed and my grants have ended, a guy, they wouldn’t do that! So that’s how it is, and
there’s no more funding. That was really a source of there’s nothing I can do about it. And I don’t have any
stress for us. Basically, lots of work for no pay. It was proof. I’ve got nothing! (M2, Couple 19)
like […] it was a hard time. [Partner’s name] had to
work a lot before, and she knew that she had to work a
lot after, as the family breadwinner. I think that this, it Balancing work, school, and family life: an additional task
didn’t help us imagine, project ourselves into the in an already filled life
future. […] What’s going to happen, it’s as if we were
standing in front of a precipice. Not knowing what’s Added to fatigue, the balancing act between work, school,
coming next. I think that it didn’t help us make the and family life was challenging for 16 parents who had not
transition, because you don’t know what kind of borne the child and 3 mothers who had. However, we
transition you’re heading for. (M2, Couple 1) should mention here that several mothers who had borne the
child were still on parental leave at the time of the inter- very happy, […] That, that was a guy from another
view. They found it hard to strike a harmonious balance generation, too. But it can put pressure on you. (F,
between these life spheres and to juggle their schedules. Couple 20)
This balancing act drained their time and produced much
anxiety.
Yeah, yeah, it’s, both of us, we’ve got demanding jobs Discussion
in terms of time and heavy workloads. So it’s already
like that, […] It was already exhausting even before This study examines the testimonies of new parents con-
[the partner] got pregnant, in terms of the workload cerning their experiences of first-time parenthood and the
and the commitment. But then, on top of that, with the perceived repercussions. The results reveal that they
baby that sometimes cries late at night or maybe encountered numerous challenges, both as individuals and
wakes up once during the night, then it’s even more couples. The main contribution of this article is the
fatigue piled on. And, we’re always in a rush. (F, demonstration, based on dyadic and individual interviews,
Couple 13) of the many similarities between the two partners in the
challenges they encountered, while not forgetting certain
gender-related differences and differences related to the
It’s a lot more work. You have to be a lot more type of family and the fact of having borne the child or not.
disciplined, for sure. If he [the baby] didn’t sleep Thus, both parents found it rather challenging to combine
during the night, I can understand that, of course, but and balance their different roles and identities (parent, self,
I’ll still have to go to school in the morning and I’ll partner). During the transition to parenthood (TtoP), indi-
have to take my exam just the same. […] But because viduals and couples alike downplayed their other needs and
I go to school full-time, I have to study and do my prioritized their new parenting role, from both an organi-
assignments nights and weekends. I don’t have a zational (daily management) and a psychological (mental
choice. (M2, Couple 19) workload) standpoint. The TtoP involved considerable
selflessness, which in turn induced feelings of loss of
Not all workplaces have policies to accommodate or individuality. As demonstrated elsewhere (de Goede and
coordinate the work–family balance. Some of the non- Greeff 2016; Delicate et al. 2018), when the parenting role
childbearing parents recounted challenges in this respect. A becomes the priority, individual needs are overshadowed by
minority of them said they felt that they underperformed at those of the child. Our results highlight how difficult it is for
work, mainly due to fatigue. Consequently, they felt pres- new parents to carve out some “me time” for themselves
sured by their employers. In addition, they placed pressure when the daily routine revolves around the baby and the
on themselves to keep up to date and prove their worth as baby’s needs, in line with other studies (de Goede and
employees. Others mentioned that it was hard to balance the Greeff 2016; Delicate et al. 2018; Neves Carvalho et al.
demands of their job and parenthood. Especially in the first 2017). Moreover, many participants pointed out that they
few months after childbirth, they were concerned about the remained highly aware of the baby’s needs even when they
baby’s well-being and thought about the baby often during were doing activities on their own.
the workday. Moreover, many of them described challenges Fatigue was reported by both partners. The challenges
related to the work–family balance, mostly concerning work associated with the work–family balance were also reported
organization. They found it difficult to telework, or else by both partners, albeit from different angles. In contrast,
they had no control over their schedule. For example, some the mental burden was mentioned more by the mothers.
of them worked shifts or on the weekend, which prevented What is interesting here is that the mental burden, as
them from seeing the baby. It also placed limitations on reported in the interviews with the study participants, was
their ability to be involved as a parent and to support their described by all the women in the heterosexual couples who
partner. The following extract illustrates a significant gen- had opted to take a lengthy parental leave, as well as some
erational gap in the workplace regarding the fathering role of the mothers in same-sex couples who had borne the child
and the arrangement of work schedules to allow paternal and who took a lengthy parental leave. This suggests that
involvement in child rearing: the mental burden could be partly associated with a lengthy
parental leave. The longer time spent with the baby, while
Well, different people view it differently. That’s what enabling the mother to build a strong mother–child bond
happened to me with guys who say, “Oh no, me, the and to initiate and continue breastfeeding, in short, to
day after my girlfriend gave birth, I went right back to devote herself to the baby, could also generate a specialized
work.” And me, knowing that this wouldn’t make her childcaring role. This would reinforce certain stereotyped
parenting norms, whereby a mother who spends more time number of normative discourses on the art of good parent-
with her baby is identified as the parent who best meets the ing: apparently, vast knowledge and multiple skills would
baby’s needs. In other words, she’s the childcare expert. be required to do a proper job (Chauffaut and Dauphin
Accordingly, the childcare is delegated to her. The mother 2012; Le Pape 2014). However, these findings depart from
buys into this mindset, recognizing that she has more time those of a recent population survey study in Québec on the
to devote to the baby than her partner. Yet at the same time, parenting experience for parents with children under 5 years
she wishes that the duties could be shared more equally old (Lavoie and Fontaine 2016). These authors found that a
between the partners, and more importantly, that this burden majority of mothers and fathers had not been pressured by
should not be delegated to her from the start. In sum, the their friends, colleagues, or the media. In fact, only 10% of
problem appears to be that this task specialization tends to them said that they felt a lot of pressure concerning par-
continue beyond the end of the parental leave and the return enthood in the last 12 months. Nevertheless, we should
to work, as corroborated by previous studies (Charton and mention the high education level in our sample, which could
Zhu 2018). have made our participants more sensitive to such pressures
The norm of parental responsibility (and the associated and more inclined to live up to high parenting standards.
burden) appears to be essentially a maternal norm, and the This parenting lore has been defined and oriented according
best parenting practices are meant primarily for mothers. A to optimal supportive and socialization conditions for the
study reveals that mothers (compared to fathers) were more child (Martin 2014), and systems of institutional and public
present with their child on a day-to-day basis, and this was programs have been established to guide parents to raise
equally true for the mothers in the heterosexual couples in their children accordingly (Chauffaut and Dauphin 2012).
our sample. More fathers worked and were therefore less However, although both parents felt these pressures, the
present physically (Essadek et al. 2016). The unequal lesbian couples appeared to be more deeply affected due to
division of the parental leaves could have contributed to the fears of social judgment and discrimination that could target
differences in the directives laid on mothers versus fathers, their family. Also more affected were parents who had
such that the mothers bore the greater part of the child- immigrated to Canada or who belonged to a group whose
rearing duties. In Québec, although a parental leave can be customary parenting practices diverged from the majority
shared between two parents, the mother usually takes it culture. Finally, similar to other studies (Brown 2010; Le
(Conseil du statut de la femme 2015). Consequently, it Goff and Levy 2016; Romagnoli and Wall 2012), our
would be worthwhile to deconstruct this inherent stereotype results underline the fact that women are under heavy
in the parental leave and to rethink how the leave is allotted. pressure to conform and comply with social criteria and the
In future, awareness raising at the workplace and at the social definition of the ideal mother. The mothers we
schools and universities that parents attend could help interviewed testified that the social media played an
change social and professional norms for parenthood. It important role in this sense. More mothers than fathers
would also be advisable, as Charton and Zhu (2018) pro- followed parenting groups on Facebook, where they were
posed, to divide the parental leave more equitably. For highly exposed to pressures, norms, and judgments. They
instance, it could be taken as successive periods that would said that they received a lot of advice (sometimes unwanted)
be non-transferable to the partner. This could enable a fairer there, as well as negative judgments.
division of parenting and household tasks. For mothers, it The parents described being under substantial social
could help prevent lengthy periods of disconnection from pressures to invest heavily in their parenting role and to
social and professional networks. In addition, it could wholly dedicate themselves to their child, which contributed
reduce feelings of social isolation as well as the rates of to feelings of loss of self, both individually and as a couple.
professional or academic dropout for some women (Charton This dictate to act as hyper-parents, furthered by social
and Zhu 2018). norms that grant the child top priority (Hays 1996), urges
The parents also described various sources of pressure parents to allocate substantially more time to childcare than
(medical, family, and social) and their repercussions. Pres- to individual and couple activities. At the same time, new
sures from friends and society concerning child-rearing parents may be subject to social directives that are contra-
practices are not new (Brown 2010; Damant et al. 2012; dictory, as other studies have underscored (Brown 2010;
Garcia 2011; Hays 1996; Trice-Black 2010). However, Chauffaut and Dauphin 2012; Le Pape 2014). Indeed, the
these pressures were amplified in our participants through findings of the present study reveal a significant paradox in
an internalization of performance pressure. The notion of the social norms that operate. This echoes Brown’s (2010)
“good parenting” is a social and cultural construction that study of mothers: in a contradictory and conflicting fashion,
pressures parents to behave “correctly” with their child parents were expected to give all their time and energy to
(Lamm and Keller 2007). Consistent with other studies, our their child and at the same time remain independent indi-
participants emphasized that they had listened to a great viduals with their own careers and interests.
The analysis shows that both mothers and fathers in the devoting themselves entirely to the baby. Some couples noted
present study were affected by these pressures. In this sense, that the very little time they had without the baby reduced their
shifting social customs appear to have influenced certain relational satisfaction and created tension between them. This
traditional gender norms for some of the families. Whereas amplified existing problems in the relationship, in agreement
the fathers assumed more responsibility for childcare, they with other studies (Doss and Rhoades 2017; Lawrence et al.
would also be more vulnerable to criticism for deviating 2008; Nelson et al. 2014; Twenge et al. 2003). The prenatal
from traditional gender norms. For example, a father who consultations that are offered to residents of Québec, where this
decided to stay at home to care for the baby might receive study was conducted, tend to focus on pregnancy, healthy life
stronger disapproval than a mother who decided to pursue habits during pregnancy, birth, and neonatal care. However, little
her career. This expanded double standard was also attention is paid to the medium- and long-term postnatal period
observed by Deutsch and Saxon, back in 1998, who found (Institut national de santé publique du Québec 2011).
that parenting behaviors by both mothers and fathers were Different areas of intervention can be identified in the
criticized when they did not conform to traditional gender light of the results obtained. First, it seems important that
roles (Deutsch and Saxon 1998). However, further analysis future parents be better informed of the challenges asso-
revealed variations according to gender, and our results ciated with the transition to parenthood. This awareness
align with Chauffaut and Dauphin (2012): men and women could take the form of testimonies offered by new parents
were not subject to the same parenting directives. during prenatal sessions and by the inclusion of chapters
Our participants described significant social pressures dealing with these subjects in a more exhaustive manner in
and norms as well as moral judgments that hampered them the publication From Tiny Tot to Toddler, a book given to
from constructing their parental identity and building feel- all new parents by the Quebec government (Institut national
ings of competence. The influence of medical and devel- de santé publique du Québec 2020). For the moment, these
opmental benchmarks (the democratization of best contents are scarce. Community workers and health pro-
practices), while informing the parents, appears to have fessionals working in perinatal care could also be more
negatively affected their autonomy and feelings of parental sensitive to these challenges experienced by new parents
competence. Thus, even as the democratization of knowl- and address these concerns more regularly during postnatal
edge and the valorization of experts and specialists provided follow-ups. However, those actions that focus on indivi-
them with valuable information, it made them feel less duals and couples will probably be less effective if they are
autonomous and competent. The recognition of expert sta- not part of a more general reflection at the societal level on
tus has enabled both the crystallization and dissemination of parenting and gender equality. The testimonies we have
scientific knowledge (Gori and Del Volgo 2009). Scientific collected show that motherhood and childcare still have, for
discourse has created medical and developmental directives many people, an essentialist character which seems strongly
to which children should correspond, but which become, for associated with the act of carrying the child, giving birth
their parents, sources of stress and doubt regarding their and breastfeeding. Societal awareness of the gendered nat-
parenting skills (Razurel et al. 2011). It would therefore be ure of parental roles could help deconstruct these ideas, and
important for health care providers who work with parents move from motherhood and fatherhood to parenthood. It
to be more aware of the potentially negative impacts of their could also generate a reflection within families on the dis-
advice on parenting. They should also be aware of the need tribution of parental leave in a more egalitarian manner,
for supportive communication that valorizes the parents’ where each parent spends alone time as the main parent to
expertise. Similarly, they should adopt an open and develop their parenting skills and get to know their child.
respectful stance: diverse child-rearing practices should be This could allow a more informed and egalitarian sharing of
acknowledged and accepted without judgment. All these tasks, based on the possibilities, wishes, and interests of the
approaches could help reduce the pressures on new parents. parents, as well as on the child’s needs. Greater societal
In terms of the couple relationship, our results indicate that considerations on parenthood and awareness of the chal-
the baby’s arrival transformed the daily life of these new parents, lenges associated with it could also help reduce social
bringing numerous additional tasks and responsibilities that norms, pressures and related judgments.
prioritized the baby to the detriment of the couple. The baby’s
daily routine and needs required a major reorganization of time, Limitations and Future Directions
space, tasks, and responsibilities, which eroded the couplehood.
Thus, the lack of “couple time” and “me time” was a major Certain limitations should be taken into consideration when
challenge. Consistent with de Goede and Greeff (2016), the interpreting the findings of this study. The first concerns the
overshadowing of the parents’ personal needs by the baby’s potential effects of the interview sequencing. We held the
needs undermined their relational well-being. The lack of time dyadic interviews before the individual interviews. It is
contributed to exhaustion and the impression that they were possible that meeting the parents first as a couple limited
their ability to express their views about their own chal- Ethical Approval All procedures involving human subjects in this
lenges in the subsequent individual interviews. Second, study were performed in accordance with the ethical standards of the
institutional and national research committee. This study was approved
there was potential social desirability bias: the participants
by the Institutional Review Board of the Université du Québec à
may have wanted to present a positive image of their family Montréal.
and couple life, and therefore withheld some information
that could have captured a more comprehensive portrait of Informed Consent Informed consent was obtained individually from
the challenges encountered during the perinatal period and all the participants in this study.
the contexts in which the pregnancy occurred (planned vs.
Publisher’s note Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to
unplanned). Moreover, our sample is highly educated (74% jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.
hold a university degree), which could have influenced the
participants’ statements. Their desire to learn about child
development and optimal childcare could have biased the References
results on their feelings of being pressured and their drive to
become competent parents. Atkinson, L., Paglia, A., Coolbear, J., Niccols, A., Parker, K. C. H., &
In conclusion, this qualitative exploratory study on how Guger, S. (2000). Attachment security: a meta-analysis of
the transition to parenthood is experienced by couples maternal mental health correlated. Clinical Psychology Review,
20, 1019–1040. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0272-7358(99)00023-9.
presents a variety of profiles, while revealing certain key Baiocco, R., Santamaria, F., Ioverno, S., Fontanesi, L., Baumgartner,
messages: both parents, regardless of their gender, type of E., Laghi, F., & Lingiardi, V. (2015). Lesbian mother families
family, or origin, found it challenging to become first-time and gay father families in Italy: family functioning, dyadic
parents. The had problems combining the different roles satisfaction, and child well-Being. Sexuality Research and Social
Policy, 12(3), 202–212. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-015-
that they had to assume (e.g., parent, partner, professional). 0185-x.
They also had to navigate between the demands of self-care Bastard, B. (2006). Une nouvelle police de la parentalité? [A new
and childcare in the baby’s first months of life. On top of police of parenthood?]. Enfances, Familles, Générations, (5),
this, they had to cope with numerous social pressures and 1–9. https://doi.org/10.7202/015783ar.
Brady, M., Stevens, E., Coles, L., Zadoroznyj, M., & Martin, B.
norms regarding parenthood. Although fathers and non- (2017). ‘You can Spend Time… But not Necessarily be Bonding
childbearing mothers also reported these challenges, the with Them’: Australian fathers’ constructions and enactments of
childbearing mothers felt the burden more strongly. A infant bonding. Journal of Social Policy, 46(1), 69–90. https://
second significant source of aggravation, which particularly doi.org/10.1017/S0047279416000374.
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2012). Thematic analysis. In H. Cooper (Ed.),
affected the childbearing mothers who took a longer par- APA handbook of research methods in psychology: vol. 2. Research
ental leave than the other partner, was the responsibility for Designs, American Psychological Association, (pp. 57–71).
organizing the sharing of childcare tasks between the two Bronte-Tinkew, J., Scott, M. E., Horowitz, A., & Lilja, E. (2009).
partners. These tasks were not equitably shared, and they Pregnancy intentions during the transition to parenthood and links
to coparenting for first-time fathers of infants. Parenting, 9(1–2),
tended to be divided according to stereotyped parenting 1–35. https://doi.org/10.1080/15295190802656729.
roles. These findings inform strategies for sensitizing and Brown, I. (2010). Ambivalence of the motherhood experience. In A.
informing future parents on these issues. O’Reilly (Ed.), 21st century motherhood: experience, identity, pol-
icy, agency (pp. 121–139). New-York: Columbia University Press.
Acknowledgements The authors would like to thank the participants Carpentier, N., & White, D. (2013). Perspective des parcours de vie et
for generously and frankly sharing their stories. They would also like sociologie de l’individuation. [Perspective of life paths and
to thank the community groups for helping to recruit the participants. sociology of individuation]. Sociologie et sociétés, 45(1),
279–300. https://doi.org/10.7202/1016404ar.
Charton, L. (2006). Diversité des familles contemporaines et Tem-
Funding This study was conducted with funding from the Social
poralités. [Diversity of contemporary families and temporalities].
Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada (430-2016-
Paris: L’Harmattan.
00945).
Charton, L., & Zhu, N. (2018). Inégalités de genre dans le partage des
tâches domestiques au Canada: quelles influences sur le désir
Author Contributions S.L. designed and executed the study, assisted d’un (nouvel) enfant? [Gender inequalities in the sharing of
with the data analysis and wrote the paper. V.B. participated in the data domestic tasks in Canada: what influences the desire for a (new)
collection and analysis and wrote part of the Results section. L.C. and child?]. Cahiers de recherche sociologique, 63, 155–183. https://
M.F. collaborated in the writing of the manuscript. doi.org/10.7202/1055723ar.
Chauffaut, D., & Dauphin, S. (2012). Normes de parentalités: pro-
Compliance with Ethical Standards duction et réception. [Parental standards/norms: production and
reception]. Revue des politiques sociales et familiales, 108(1),
108–115.
Conflict of Interest The authors declare that they have no conflict of
Conseil du statut de la femme. (2015). Avis. Pour un partage équitable
interest.
du congé parental. [For an equitable sharing of parental leave]
https://www.csf.gouv.qc.ca/wp-content/uploads/avis_partage_ Glick, J. E. (2010). Connecting complex processes: a decade of research on

conge_parental.pdf. immigrant families. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 498–515.
Cowan, C. P., & Cowan, P. A. (1995). Interventions to ease the https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00715.x.
transition to parenthood: why they are needed and what they can Goldberg, A. E., & Smith, J. Z. (2011). Stigma, social context, and
do. Family Relations, 44(4), 412–423. mental health: lesbian and gay couples across the transition to
Damant, D., Chartré, M.-È., & Lapierre, S. (2012). L’institution de la adoptive parenthood. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58(1),
maternité. [The institution of motherhood]. In S. Lapierre & D. 139–150. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021684.
Damant (Eds.), Regards critiques sur la maternité dans divers Gori, R., & Del Volgo, M.-J. (2009). De la société de la norme à une
contextes sociaux (pp. 5–17). Sainte-Foy: Presses de l’Université conception managériale du soin. [From the society of the standard
du Québec. to the managerial concept of care.]. Connexions, 1(91), 123–147.
Darvill, R., Skirton, H., & Farrand, P. (2010). Psychological factors https://doi.org/10.3917/cnx.091.0123.
that impact on women’s experiences of first-time motherhood: a Greenbaum, M. (2015). Familles LGBT: le guide [LGBT families. the
qualitative study of the transition. Midwifery, 26(3), 357–366. guide]. Montréal: Les Éditions du Remue-ménage.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.midw.2008.07.006. Hamelin-Brabant, L., de Montigny, F., Roch, G., Deshaies, M.-H.,
de Goede, C., & Greeff, A. (2016). Challenges couples face in Mbourou-Azizah, G., Borgès Da Silva, R., & Fournier, C. (2015).
managing family routines after the transition to parenthood. Vulnérabilité périnatale et soutien social en période postnatale:
Social Work, 52, 313–331. https://doi.org/10.15270/52-3-512. une revue de la littérature. [Perinatal vulnerability and social
Delicate, A., Ayers, S., & McMullen, S. (2018). A systematic review support during the postnatal period: a review of the literature].
and meta-synthesis of the impact of becoming parents on the Santé Publique, 27(1), 27–37. https://10.3917/spub.151.0027
couple relationship. Midwifery, 61, 88–96. https://doi.org/10. Hays, S. (1996). The cultural contradictions of motherhood. New
1016/j.midw.2018.02.022. Haven: Yale University Press.
Deutsch, M., & Saxon, S. E. (1998). The double standard of praise and Heinz, W. R., & Marshall, V. W. (2003). Social dynamics of the life
criticism for mothers and fathers. Psychology of Women Quar- course: transitions, institutions, and interrelations. New York:
terly, 22(4), 665–683. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-6402.1998. Walter de Gruyter.
tb00184.x. Institut national de santé publique du Québec. (2011). Portail d’in-
Doss, B. D., & Rhoades, G. K. (2017). The transition to parenthood: impact formation périnatale. Outils d’information destinés aux inter-
on couples’ romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, venants et professionels oeuvrant en périnatalité [Perinatal
13, 25–28. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.003. information portal. Information tools for community workers and
Doss, B. D., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2009). professionals working in perinatal care]. https://www.inspq.qc.ca/
The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality: information-perinatale.
an 8-year prospective study. Journal of Personality and Social Institut national de santé publique du Québec. (2020). Mieux vivre
Psychology, 96(3), 601–619. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013969. avec notre enfant, de la grossesse à deux ans (From tiny tot to
Douglas, S. J., & Michaels, M. W. (2004). The mommy myth: the toddler, from pregnancy to age two). Québec: Gouvernement du
idealization of motherhood and how it has undermined women. Québec.
New York: Free Press. Kushner, K. E., Sopcak, N., Breitkreuz, R., Pitre, N., Williamson, D.
Elder, G. H., Johnson, M. K., & Crosnoe, R. (2003). The emergence L., Rempel, G., & Letourneau, N. (2017). On shifting ground:
and development of life course theory. In J. T. Mortimer & M. J. first-time parents’ ideal world of paid work and family time.
Shanahan (Eds.), Handbook of the life course (pp. 3–19). Boston, Community, Work and Family, 20(2), 119–141. https://doi.org/
MA: Springer US. 10.1080/13668803.2015.1074546.
Entsieh, A. A., & Hallström, I. K. (2016). First-time parents’ prenatal Lamm, B., & Keller, H. (2007). Understanding Cultural models of
needs for early parenthood preparation—a systematic review and parenting: the role of intracultural variation and response style.
meta-synthesis of qualitative literature. Midwifery, 39, 1–11. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 38(1), 50–57. https://doi.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.midw.2016.04.006. org/10.1177/0022022106295441.
Essadek, A., Assous, A., Golse, B., Chabin-Fenlon, M., & Fernet- Lapierre, S., & Damant, D. (2012). Regards critiques sur la maternité
Lucas, C. (2016). Entre idéal dépassé et norme imposée: une dans divers contextes sociaux [Critical views on motherhood in
représentation figée du père projetée dans une société en muta- various social contexts]. Québec: Presses de l’Université du
tion. Quelle représentation de la fonction paternelle dans une Québec.
institution sociale exerçant des mesures d’AEMO? [Between an Lavoie, A., & Fontaine, C. (2016). Mieux connaître la parentalité au
outdated ideal and an imposed norm: a frozen representation of Québec. Un portrait à partir de l’Enquête québécoise sur l’ex-
the father projected into a changing society. What representation périence des parents d’enfants de 0 à 5 ans 2015 [Knowing more
of the paternal function in a social institution exercising AEMO about parenting in Quebec. A portrait of the Quebec Survey on
measures?]. Topique, 135(2), 159–173. https://doi.org/10.3917/ the experience of parents of children aged 0 to 5 years 2015].
top.135.0159. http://www.stat.gouv.qc.ca/statistiques/conditions-vie-societe/
Gameiro, S., Canavarro, M. C., Boivin, J., Moura-Ramos, M., Soares, environnement-familial/eqepe.pdf.
I., & Almeida Santos, T. (2011). Parental investment in couples Lawrence, E., Cobb, R. J., Rothman, A. D., Rothman, M. T., &
who conceived spontaneously or with assisted reproductive Bradbury, T. N. (2008). Marital satisfaction across the transition
techniques. Human Reproduction, 26(5), 1128–1137. https://doi. to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(1), 41–50.
org/10.1093/humrep/der031. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.22.1.41.
Garcia, S. (2011). Mères sous influence. De la cause des femmes à la Le Goff, J.-M. & Levy, R. (Eds.) (2016). Devenir parents, devenir
cause des enfants. [Mothers under the influence. From the cause inégaux. Transition à la parentalité et inégalités de genre.
of women to the cause of children.]. Paris: Éditions La [Becoming parents, becoming unequal. Transition to parenthood
Découverte. and gender inequality]. Genève: Éditions Seismo.
Gaudet, S., Burlone, N., & Lévesque, M. (2013). Repenser les familles Le Pape, M.-C. (2014). Qu’est-ce qu’un “bon” parent? Analyse des
et ses transitions. Repenser les politiques publiques. [Rethinking images véhiculées par les affiches et brochures des campagnes de
families and their transitions. Rethinking public policies.]. Qué- santé publique. [What is a “good” parent? Analysis of the images
bec: Les Presses de l’UNiversité Laval. conveyed by posters and brochures of public health campaigns],
In “Être un bon parent”: une injonction contemporaine (pp. 29–52). to parenthood. Personality and Individual Differences, 101,
Rennes: Presses de l’EHESP. 276–281. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.06.016.
Ledenfors, A., & Berterö, C. (2016). First-time fathers’ experiences of Oxford, M. L., Gilchrist, L. D., Lohr, M. J., Gillmore, M. R., Morri-
normal childbirth. Midwifery, 40, 26–31. https://doi.org/10.1016/ son, D. M., & Spieker, S. J. (2005). Life course heterogeneity in
j.midw.2016.05.013. the transition from adolescence to adulthood among adolescent
Martin, C. (2014). « Être un bon parent »: une injonction con- mothers. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 15(4), 479–504.
temporaine. [Being a good parent”: a contemporary injunction]. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2005.00108.x.
Rennes: Presses de l’EHESP. Petch, J., & Halford, W. K. (2008). Psycho-education to enhance
Meleis, A. I. (2010). Transitions theory: middle range and situation couples’ transition to parenthood. Clinical Psychology Review, 28
specific theories in nursing research and practice. Springer (7), 1125–1137. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2008.03.005.
Publishing Company, New York. Razurel, C., Desmet, H., & Sellenet, C. (2011). Stress, sout ien social
Mercer, R. T. (2004). Becoming a mother versus maternal role et stratégies de coping: quelle influence sur le sentiment de
attainment. Journal of Nursing Scholarship, 36(3), 226–232. compétence parental des mères primipares? [Stress, social sup-
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1547-5069.2004.04042.x. port, and coping strategies: what influence on perceived parental
Miles, M., Huberman, M., & Saldana, J. (2019). Qualitative data self-efficacy of primiparous mothers?].Recherche en soins infir-
analysis: a methods sourcebook. 4th Ed.: Sage, New York. miers, 106(3), 47–58. https://doi.org/10.3917/rsi.106.0047.
Mitnick, D. M., Heyman, R. E., & Smith Slep, A. M. (2009). Changes Romagnoli, A., & Wall, G. (2012). ‘I know I’m a good mom’: young,
in relationship satisfaction across the transition to parenthood: a low-income mothers’ experiences with risk perception, intensive
meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(6), 848–852. parenting ideology and parenting education programmes. Health,
https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017004. Risk & Society, 14(3), 273–289. https://doi.org/10.1080/
Mukamurera, J. (2006). Des avancées en analyse qualitative: pour une 13698575.2012.662634.
transparence et une systématisation des pratiques. [Advances in Shorey, S., Lau, L., Dennis, C.-L., Chan, Y. S., Tam, W. W. S., & Chan, Y.
qualitative analysis: for transparency and systematization of H. (2017). A randomized-controlled trial to examine the effectiveness
practices]. Recherches qualitatives, 26(1), 110–138. of the ‘Home‐but not Alone’ mobile‐health application educational
Nelson, S. K., Kushlev, K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2014). The pains and programme on parental outcomes. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 73
pleasures of parenting: when, why, and how is parenthood (9), 2103–2117. https://doi.org/10.1111/jan.13293.
associated with more or less well-being? Psychological Bulletin, Trice-Black, S. (2010). Perceptions of women’s sexuality within the
140(3), 846–895. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035444. context of motherhood. The Family Journal, 18(2), 154–162.
Neves Carvalho, J. M. D., Ribeiro Fonseca Gaspar, M. F., & Ramos https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480710364130.
Cardoso, A. M. (2017). Challenges of motherhood in the voice of Twenge, J. M., Campbell, W. K., & Foster, C. A. (2003). Parenthood
primiparous mothers: initial difficulties. Investigación y Educa- and marital satisfaction: a meta‐analytic review. Journal of
ción en Enfermería, 35, 285–294. https://doi.org/10.17533/udea. Marriage and Family, 65(3), 574–583. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.
iee.v35n3a05. 1741-3737.2003.00574.x.
Nonterah, C. W., Garthe, R. C., Reid, C. A., Worthington, E. L., Wall, G. (2010). Mothers’ experiences with intensive parenting and brain
Davis, D. E., Hook, J. N., & Griffin, B. J. (2016). The impact of development discourse. Women’s Studies International Forum, 33(3),
stress on fluctuations in relational humility as couples transition 253–263. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.wsif.2010.02.019.
View publication stats

JCFSmai 2020

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

JCFSmai 2020

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

JCFSmai 2020

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

See discussions, stats, and author profiles for this publication at: https://www.researchgate.

Parenting and Relational Well-being During the Transition to Parenthood:

Article in Journal of Child and Family Studies · July 2020

Sylvie Levesque Laurence Charton

SEE PROFILE SEE PROFILE

The user has requested enhancement of the downloaded file.

Sylvie Lévesque, Véronique Bisson,

Journal of Child and Family Studies

J Child Fam Stud

Parenting and Relational Well-being During the Transition

© Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2020

Albeit a common experience, the transition to parenthood

The participants comprised 23 couples who were inter- Procedures

Fatigue and lack of sleep as a continuous state of body

M: And then, when he went back to work, then,

F: It was too tiring, and […] that really knocks you

Fatigue and lack of sleep also had negative impacts on the

We go out a little less often. We see the outside world

https://www.csf.gouv.qc.ca/wp-content/uploads/avis_partage_ Glick, J. E. (2010). Connecting complex processes: a decade of research on

View publication stats

You might also like