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Jessica Bui

Dr. Cruz Medina

English 1A

September 19, 2023

Shared Journeys of Identity

In the quiet corners of my mind, there are two concepts that have always had an unusual

grasp over me: "Imposter Syndrome" and "social anxiety." These aren't simply words; they are

the muffled echoes of a journey that I've been on since the end of elementary, long before I

understood what they meant. Why do I have this terrible feeling of failure so frequently? Why do

I feel at times as though I'm not good enough? These thoughts echo in the spaces of my head

when I'm alone. I want to feel normal, to fit in with the crowd without standing out, and to be

just like everyone else. These thoughts continued to swim inside my head like unwanted sharks

growing up. However, as I read the excerpt of Simu Liu's memoir We Were Dreamers, I couldn't

help but feel a deep connection with the ideas he talks about. I recognized how Simu’s story

resonated with mine a lot. As a first generation, I had to figure out a lot of education by myself

because of family expectations and a lack of representation.

Growing up, there were some things my parents could help me with, but as I grew older it

became harder for them to help me because they didn't know about a lot of stuff I was talking

about. The SAT was originally made as a tactic to keep immigrants away from college. I was set

for failure from the start. Even though I’m not an immigrant, I AM a first generation Asian

American student. There were times in my life where I thought it was unfair that not only am I

first generation, but also the oldest in the family. In addition to that, I didn’t have many close

relatives to guide me educationally. I was introduced to many things my parents had never heard
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of before and I often felt so lost to the point where I had to rely on the internet for answers. A

moving line from Simu Liu's memoir, "We knew that nothing was going to be handed to us, and

we knew we were going to have to work twice as hard as everyone else" (Liu, 97), captures the

dedicated determination of people from immigrant backgrounds wanting to succeed in a new

country. As immigrants or children of immigrants, we all relate to this quote. It implies an

intense feeling of independence and the understanding that success cannot be expected to come

easily or be granted by outside factors. Instead, it emphasizes a dedication to a strong work ethic,

with those involved fully aware that they must put up twice as much effort to overcome the

difficulties and hurdles they encounter. This quote demonstrates their willingness to face

challenges and their persistence in pursuing their objectives. Over the years, I sought out

opportunities myself knowing nothing would be handed to me and no one would hold my hand

and guide me forever. I would find friends from the same class and ask for their help when I

didn’t know how to do something, talk to teachers if my grade was bad, and discover tutor

websites to ask for additional help. By doing this, I was able to understand almost everything I

learned and my grades improved. I got so much better at time management and stopped doubting

myself.

There was something that describes every Asian’s kid nightmare and how much pressure

they face with the overwhelming expectations their parents put on them. My parents are

immigrants from Vietnam who never had an education in the United States, so they are

constantly reminding me how privileged and fortunate I am to have access to the best education

available. In chapter 9 of We Were Dreamers, Simu Liu reflects on his childhood and family

expectations on him in this quote, “I was just a moderately intelligent kid that was raised with a

bit of a head start by parents who saw good grades as the only surefire path to financial stability.”
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(Liu, 98) This line is a heartbreaking reminder of the difficulties that young people from Asian

families frequently face. Academic achievement is often seen as the only path to financial

security, and the weight of these expectations may be oppressive. When reading this quote, I

instantly felt a connection to it. While my parents don’t have as intense beliefs as Simu’s parents,

growing up, my parents would always remind me to do well in school to get into college and get

a degree.

I was frequently exposed to clichéd sayings that supported certain biases during my

childhood years. These sayings featured popular phrases like "Asians are good at math" and

"Asians are bad at driving." Unfortunately, these prejudices frequently overshadow any

affirmations or acknowledgements of the many talents and skills that Asians have. Hearing those

phrases were extremely unmotivating and made me feel unworthy as a person. I also never saw

any Asian characters in American movies until in 2018, when a movie called, “To All The Boys

I’ve Loved Before” where the protagonist was half-Korean, but played by a full Vietnamese

actress. At first I didn’t mind because at least there was some representation, but as more movies/

shows aired with Asian protagonists, there was never the correct ethnicity between the actress

and the character they were portraying. Similarly, Simu Liu discusses his observation growing up

with incorrect and stereotypical Asian representation in the media. He states, “Asian men were

frequently depicted in Western media as awkward, nerdy and completely undatable-” (Liu, 104)

This is a quote I agree with the most. I especially despise how Western media always makes any

Asian character of a film as someone intellectual or unpopular. Specifically, when it comes to

Asian girls and women in Western movies, they are always the unpopular, bullied, and nerdy girl

that gets saved by a white guy that’s supposedly “popular” and “hot.” There are very few

Western movies or shows with an Asian girl that actually ends with an Asian boy that gets
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popular. Hollywood also has a tendency to cast any Asian actor in any Asian part

indiscriminately; for example, a Chinese actor may play a Korean character. And while people

may not notice this and can’t tell the difference between ethnicities because “all Asians look the

same,” it still really offends me sometimes to see wrong ethnicity casting in Western films. Simu

Liu also mentions how J. K. Rowling named her only Chinese character Cho Chang and says,

“(Just so we're clear, Cho and Chang are both last names... in Korean.)” (Liu, 108) This further

shows how many people in the Western media and literature lack cultural research.

Over time, the field of literature has seen remarkable growth, becoming more diverse and

representative. The increasing range of various works has been one noticeable change in this

development. My love for books started when my parents encouraged me to read to be smarter

and have more knowledge. Growing up, I mostly read books where the main characters are

white, so in the past few years I've started finding more diverse books and I'm glad to see it.

Once I was reading a book called A Pho Love story and the main characters were two

Vietnamese American teens. My mom was shocked to see a book featuring Asian Americans

characters taking the lead. It served as a heartbreaking reminder of how Asian characters had

previously been underrepresented or subjected to negative stereotypes in Western literature. A

major turning point in my reading career was that discovery. It sparked an unexpected

enthusiasm in me to look for literature that will broaden my horizons as well as entertain me. As

Simu Liu stated, “The Chinese term for studying is dushü, which literally translates to "read

book." The importance of academic success was firmly rooted in Confucian principles, and was

predicated around the ability to read.” (Liu, 99) I started deliberately looking for books with

characters from other backgrounds. These stories, which were frequently subtle and perceptive,

gave me a new perspective on the world and shed light on the various cultural experiences of
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individuals. My literary exploration also extended beyond issues of cultural diversity. I also read

books that explored the complex subject of mental health, highlighting the hardships and

successes of individuals struggling with various mental diseases.

In conclusion, I illustrated how words like "Imposter Syndrome" and "social anxiety"

continue to affect my perspective of myself, resulting in ongoing feelings of unworthiness and a

longing for normal. Yet as I read Simu Liu's narrative "We Were Dreamers," I felt a powerful

connection. Simu's story mirrored many of my own experiences, from being a first-generation

child and dealing with family expectations to dealing with the clichéd image of Asians in

Western media to seeing how diverse the US is slowly becoming.

Work Cited:

Liu, Simu. We Were Dreamers: An Immigrant Superhero Origin Story. HarperCollins, 2022.

Accessed 14 September 2023