Summary of: “An Angel Whispered by Patricia Tashiro” ISBN: 9781846944284

Here, I will only choose short sentences from each section of the book. But,

please, get the book and read it repeatedly regularly.

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Introduction:

I see that I was searching for what I was meant to be “doing” rather than trying to

figure out who I was mean to “be”. Of course, now I realize the “doing” does not

matter nearly as much as the “being”. And, in fact, we ought to be in a state of

“being” no matter what we are “doing”.

Dadi Janki said: “We spend our lives filling our heads with knowledge, but if our

hearts are empty, how can we be of any use to humanity?”

And in other cases, she corrected me, pointing out that if I really wanted to

change the world I had to change “myself” – not convince others to change

themselves. And so this became my purpose in life – to change myself.

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As for the structure of the book, Part One focuses on the Wisdom of Happiness

and describes how I am making an effort to shift my thinking to restore my peace

of mind. Part Two focuses on the Practice of Happiness, which describes how I am

shifting the way I think, speak, and act so I can bring love back into my heart.

My teacher often says happiness is experienced when you have peace of mind and

love in your heart.

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Part One: The Wisdom of Happiness – Restoring Peace of Mind

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Lesson 1: Why Do We Suffer? Why is There Pain?

Pain and suffering are different. Pain is of the body while suffering is up in the

mind. Pain is inevitable from which there is no escape while suffering is optional,

it is from the thought you create (for example, you are living in the past or fearing

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the next day; you are dreading what is; you are clinging or resisting; when you are

hanging on, suffering tells you to let go; suffering is necessary to push you to

change so you can grow.

It was not until I learned that our thoughts make us suffer, and not what is

actually happening around us, that I began to see how suffering could be

optional. Since we create our thoughts, we determine whether we suffer or not

depending on the thoughts we create.

My teacher has said, “If you look at saints and sages, they do not suffer. No

matter what they face – even physical pain – they do not suffer. This is because

they are said to be “friendly with the inevitable”. They do not resist what is. They

do not wish for things to be different than they are. They are in a state of

acceptance and of fullness, which enables them to be in a state of love.”

Buddha said: “Suffering is necessary until you realize suffering is no longer

necessary.”

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Lesson 2: Why Are We Here? What Is Our Purpose?

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You are meant to be happy. To be able to do this, two things you must find: Love

in your heart and peace in your mind. So that is your purpose. Learn to be happy.

If people were happy to the centre of their core, would there be conflict? Would

there be war? Mahatma Gandhi said: “You must be the change you wish to see in

the world”. Unfortunately, most people do not try to change the self. Instead they

try hard to change everyone else! This causes pain and makes people suffer. The

harder they try it only becomes tougher.

Happiness is actually an internal pursuit and has nothing to do with pleasure.

Happiness is experienced when we can bring peace into our minds and feel love

in our hearts. It is a deep state of contentment when we do not need anything

from anyone. When we can do this, and are completely content, we want the best

for ourselves and everyone. Then we become truly generous, not in terms of

giving other people our money, but in terms of giving other people permission to

be who they are. In this state, we give everyone the gift they long for, which is the

feeling of being accepted and having a sense of belonging.

Brahma Baba said: “People only hurt other people when they are unhappy.” When

we cannot bear the pain within, we seek to release it and, inevitably, someone is

hurt. When we are happy, we cannot harm the self or others.

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I thought we need to fix everything “out there” so we could be happy “inside”. But

in fact, we cannot fix anything out there until we are happy on the inside.

The constitution of UNESCO states: “Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in

the minds of men that the defences of peace must be constructed.” I can see now

that if we want peace in the world, then we must learn how to bring peace into

our minds.

Dalai Lama said: “I believe the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That

is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believe in this

religion or that religion, we are all seeking something better in life. So, I think, the

very motion of our life is towards happiness …”

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Lesson 3: How Can I Be Happy When Life Is So Unfair?

My happiness was not my own. For the most part, happiness was something I

took from the outside and brought inside. [Watching TV: good news would make

me happy and bad news would make me miserable; on day to day life: positive

people would make me happy and negative people would make me miserable.] …

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… … But I soon learned that we feel according to the thoughts we have. We only

feel disappointed, insulted, hurt, or angry when someone has not done as we

wished. We had a thought – an expectation or desire – that someone should act a

certain way, and he or she failed to do so. This is what made us lose our

happiness – our expectation – not what the other person actually said or did. And

so we live our lives expecting people to sustain us by acting according to how we

need them to act so we can be happy. And when they do not, we lose our

happiness.

My teacher said: “Like asking an apple merchant for oranges; like asking

miserable person for love; … … …; they just do not have what you want them to

give. … … … Instead, take responsibility for yourself and do not blame others for

not giving you what you wanted. Recognize you misjudged their capacity and

learn to give yourself what you require.”

Why was I asking someone else to give me something that I need to learn to give

myself?

Martha Washington said: “I have learned from experience that the greater part of

our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our

circumstances.”

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Lesson 4: Why Must We Die?

[Only the body dies and become dust. Only the body knows birth and death cycle.

The soul is eternal, not and never subject to birth and death cycle. The soul

moves from one life to another, from one body to another. Who you truly are is

not your fleeting temporary mortal body but who you truly are is your eternal

soul. So do not worry, no one really dies – just bodies die. So do not worry, you

and all your beloved ones are eternal.]

Now I see, as my teacher often says, that we never cry for others. We may think

we cry for others, but really, we only cry for ourselves. I was not crying for him,

but for me, for my loss, for my need to have him with me, and for my own fear of

what was to become of me after I died. My tears came from my own needs, my

own emptiness.

In truth, we are supposed to be able to sustain ourselves. If we can do this, then

we can love and enjoy others while they are with us and then let them go when it

is time for them to move on. We need to recognize that other souls come to us for

a period of time and then move on when their time comes. It is as if we are riding

on a train to a certain destination and various passengers will get on and off along
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the way. When they get on, we enjoy their company or learn what we must from

them. But when they get off, we need to let them continue on their own journeys

without clinging or resisting.

This capacity to sustain the self does not come from knowing about death, but

from knowing about life. … … … It is only once we understand this and move into

a state of acceptance that we can begin to become “friendly with the inevitable”.

But to do so, we must know who we are.

Norman Cousins said: “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is

what dies inside us while we live.”

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Lesson 5: Who Am I?

[I am a soul. I am a being of peace. I am peace. I am love. This is who I am.]

There are many analogies that clarify what it means to be a soul. One is that, the

soul is the driver while the body is the car. The soul drives the body, giving it

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directions, and the body does as the soul commands. Another analogy is that, the

soul is an actor and the body is the costume the actor wears. The soul is not the

costume. It is merely playing a role – spouse, parent, child, sibling, employer or

employee, of a certain race, nationality, and gender – but that is not “who it is”. …

… … So, rather than knowing who we are – souls playing a role – we begin to

believe we are the roles we play. And believing we are something we are not is a

recipe for unhappiness.

[What is soul?] Is it a mother or father or child or sibling? Is it male or female?

Does it have a race, religion, or nationality? Is it rich or poor? Is it healthy or ill? It

is none of these things. These are all ways we describe our bodies and the state of

our bodies, which is not who we are.

My teacher describes the soul as an infinitesimal point of energy. Embedded

within this point is the record of every thought, word, and deed of the soul while

it has played its parts on earth. The original nature of the soul is divine and

virtuous. Therefore, at our core, we are good, the embodiment of all of the

virtues. The difference among us lies in the depth and strength of our virtues and

the extent to which the vices have entered us. Happiness lies in uncovering and

strengthening our virtues, while letting go of our vices.

The 5 main virtues are: purity, peace, love, happiness, and wisdom.

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The 5 main vices are: lust, greed, attachment, ego, and anger.

When we are coming from a place of virtue, we are free and light. Our

relationships are no longer tainted by hidden agendas to receive love or respect

from others. All fears and desires fade because our happiness depends on no one.

This enables us to give freely of the self, without the slightest thought of

receiving anything, like appreciation, approval, or acceptance, in return. In this

state, we realize that we already have everything we need and need not search for

anything.

Stephen R Covey said: “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are

spiritual beings on a human journey.”

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Lesson 6: Why Do We Not Feel Whole?

I was in such a state I could not see what I needed to do, but instead occupied my

mind with what everyone else had to do.

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But my standard of perfection was quite different from “true” perfection. “True”

perfection is when our happiness does not depend on anyone or anything, when

we can sustain ourselves no matter what. Anything short of that and there is room

for improvement.

Now I know we lose our happiness when we try to project an image of the self and

others do not see us as we want to be seen. We are trying to take support from

the roles our bodies play to boost ourselves up, but these supports regularly

crumble and cause us to fall.

A more subtle way we lose our happiness is connected to our beliefs and the way

we conduct ourselves. We tend to think that the way we think, believe, and act is

better than other ways. … … … But then, when things do not happen as we hope,

or we do not do as well as we think we could have done, we lose our happiness.

When I think I am a body I will think “I am this profession, this nationality, this

gender, this … … ….” Everything associated with this “I” opens me up to feeling

hurt, insulted, or disappointed, depending on the words and deeds of others. Or I

will think in terms of possession, “This is my spouse, my child, my … … …”

Everything I think I possess opens me up to the fear of loss.

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But as a soul, I simply think, “I am a peaceful soul.” In this true awareness of “I”, I

cannot be hurt, insulted, or disappointed. I am the embodiment of good qualities

and virtues. … … … In truth, a soul owns nothing and so it cannot lose anything.

It comes into the world with nothing and will leave with nothing. So, to think I

possess anything is a state of falsehood that simply breeds the fear of loss.

Over time I have come to believe the state of the human condition, both

individually and collectively, is determined by free choice. … … … When I opened

myself up to the idea of a soul living more than one life and the law of karma

[which will be explained later], I could see that I had chosen the circumstances I

was in, both individually and collectively.

In truth, every thought, word, and deed we have had determines our state of

being and the state of the world. As Buddha said: “We are what we think. All that

we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”

George Santayana said: “Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of

happiness.”

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Lesson 7: Who Is God? What Does God Do?

[To summarize it] God is a living Being, a Soul, Who is the embodiment of all

virtues. It is only due to the limitations of the English language that we use

masculine pronounce to refer to God, but He is both our spiritual mother and

father. And, as our parent, He wants the best for us. He does not want us to

suffer.

But His role is not to wave a magic and make right every wrong. It is we who must

transform ourselves in order to transform the world. If he fixed everything, from

where would our self-respect come? From where would our love for the self

come? How would we learn to take responsibility for ourselves, for our actions, if

God fixed everything we broke? But knowing this, we know we cannot do it on our

own. We need God’s power to help us help ourselves.

Leighton Ford said: “God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that

way.”

[I just want to add that different people will always believe in different ways and

forms, in this very complex subject like many other subjects, and that is

absolutely fine and natural because people have different cultural and educational

backgrounds and they have different levels of understanding and different etc. But
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the most important thing is for people to be free to choose whatever

understanding they like and people to be let free to be the way they want. Be and

let others be. Peace, Love, Mercy, Charity, Respect and Tolerance for all regardless

of any differences. This must be the rule.]

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Lesson 8: Why Do Things Happen?

[In Summary, always remember: “You reap what you sow”. This is also called the

Law of Karma. Karma means action. All your thoughts, words and deeds come

back to you sooner or later, in this life time or in another life time. Therefore, sow

what is good, positive, peaceful and pure so that you get it back. Sow peace, love

and happiness so that you get them back. Sooner or later, in this life time or in

another life time, you will face the consequences of your thoughts, words and

actions.]

[We cannot change the past – what we have done before whether in in this life

time or in a previous life time – but we have the full choice at the present time, we

have the full choice and the full control over our present thoughts, words and

actions. Thus, you can start a fresh. You can open a completely new page and new

chapter. After we have paid the debt, we can build up credit in our account. At
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every present moment you have the full freedom to choose what to think, what to

say and what to do. Therefore, be wise and think, speak, and act peacefully

lovingly positively and constructively and consequently your life will change

accordingly sooner or later.]

[We pay for our thoughts, words and actions either immediately or after a while

(after days, weeks, months, years, decades, in this life time or in a future life

time). No matter when we must pay for our thoughts, words and actions. This is

the bottom line. ]

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said: “I believe that we are solely responsible for our

choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and

thought throughout our lifetime.”

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Lesson 9: Is There Rebirth? Or Do We Live Once and Leave?

For me the most compelling evidence for rebirth are accounts given by children of

previous lifetimes. In the film, “Life, Death, and Rebirth: The Story of

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Reincarnation”, there were numerous accounts of past lives given by small

children, and upon investigation the details were indeed verified.

Other evidence to support reincarnation comes through past life regressions. …

…….

Interestingly, some great philosophers believed in reincarnation. Socrates said: “I

am confident that there truly is such a thing as living again, that the living spring

from the dead, and that the souls of the dead are in existence.” And Voltaire said:

“It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is

resurrection.”

In spite of the evidence for rebirth, I simply embraced it because it was essential

to understand why things happen. … … … .

I do not like the idea of even the most depraved killer being eternally damned to

suffer. I much prefer to believe every soul will have a chance – at least a chance –

to right the wrongs committed. … … … .

Understanding and accepting rebirth and karma also makes me act responsibly,

as I no longer think I can get away with anything. I know that somehow, in some

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way, all I do will come back to me. So, I make sure that I treat myself, others, and

the planet with love and respect.

Albert Schweitzer said: “Reincarnation contains a most comforting explanation of

reality by means of which Indian thought surmounts difficulties which baffle the

thinkers of Europe.”

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Lesson 10: How Do I Use the Law of Karma?

Always remember: “You reap what you sow”. This is the law of karma.

The law of karma – if used benevolently – helps and does not harm in every aspect

of time.

Past – for the past, Karma helps me to move into acceptance. Whatever has

happened, I need to take responsibility for it, as somehow, in some way, I sowed

those seeds. I cannot hang onto anything or blame others for how they treated

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me. If there is some lesson for me to learn, I must learn it and then let go, as the

past cannot be changed. … … … .

Present – in the present, karma helps keep me from feeling sorrow about what is

happening now. I used to suffer whenever I heard a sad story about someone

suffering somewhere. With the understanding of karma, however, I realize all

souls are settling their accounts and it does not help others to suffer with them. It

also means I can have mercy on those who sow negative seeds, as I know

whatever people do will come back to them. … … … .

Future – for the future, karma helps me check my actions now to make sure I do

everything with good intention. I do not want to sow any more bad seeds, because

I know they will bring bitter fruit. Therefore, I need to learn to treat myself and

others with love and respect, as that is what I would like to come back to me!

If we want to be happy, the application of karma ought to be benevolent and not

used to judge or condemn. We also must not think that the bad things that

happen are a form of punishment. We need to think that everything happens to

either teach us something new or to settle an account. … … … .

Wayne Dyer said: “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

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Part Two: The Practice of Happiness: Returning Love to the Heart

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Lesson 11: How Can I Create Happiness?

Happiness occurs when there is love in the heart and peace in the mind.

Happiness is generated inside. Happiness is not the same as pleasure.

Pleasure is sought from outside. There is physical pleasure like food, drink, sex,

etc. and psychological pleasure like getting appreciation, approval and regard

from others.

[Pleasure leads to addiction and dependency. It will not make you feel good at all

time. In fact it is usually fleeting and short leaving you suffer for long until next

fix and this vicious cycle continue.]

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[Happiness is not dependent on anyone or anything outside you. Happiness is

generated inside and is permanent.]

Please, read the book for detailed explanation.

Confucius said: “The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man

thinks of comfort.”

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Lesson 12: Have the “Right” Thoughts

My teacher often says the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our

life.

[Thoughts are of 4 types: negative thoughts, waste thoughts, practical thoughts

and positive thoughts. One kind of positive thoughts called “right thoughts” –

these are thoughts based on wisdom. Try to increase positive thoughts especially

right thoughts. Use practical thoughts when necessary. Get rid of waste and

negative thoughts. You have 70000 thoughts every day.]

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When your happiness decreases, always remember the followings:

First, “I am a soul. I already have everything I need. I am peace. I am love. I need

not take anything from others because I am full. I do not require anything from

anyone. And if I am lacking something, then let me give myself what I require.”

Second, “Everything that happens is determined by our karma. At every moment,

we are reaping the fruit of the seeds we have sown in the past. There is no reason

to become influenced by what happens. Everything is accurate. It must happen to

clear our karmic accounts. Everything passes and in the end, everything will be

right.”

Third, “A soul owns nothing and so it cannot lose anything. As a soul, I came into

this world alone and I will leave on my own. I am a child of God and belong to Him

alone. Everyone else is also a child of God and therefore my sibling. Let me have

love for everyone, not just for a few.”

Dadi Janki said: “It is the duty of other people to insult and defame you. It is your

responsibility to not be affected by what they say.”

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When Nelson Mandela was asked why he was not bitter about spending 27 years

of his life in prison, he replied with a gentle laugh: “In a way, it was good. It gave

me a chance to think.” If only we could all use our thoughts in such a way that no

matter what we faced we tried to find some benefit in it.

Albert Einstein said: “The problems that we have today cannot be solved with the

same level of thinking that created them.”

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Lesson 13: Awareness of the Self

… … … I was very aware of what everyone else needed to do. I could spot

everyone else’s faults, defects, and shortcomings, whether of a close relation or a

distant president, but not my own.

… … … . This was, of course, because I still believed myself to be perfect! … …

….

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Now I spend a lot less time thinking about the faults, defects, and shortcomings

of others. … … … . … … …, as you cannot see in others what you do not have

within yourself.

When we decide we want to change the self, and not others, we need to turn our

attention inward and follow the path my teacher describes as an ART: Awareness,

Realization, and Transformation. We need to become aware of what is happening

inside. … … … . We must have realizations about the weaknesses we have

identified, so we can transform the self.

Realizations occur when we become aware of what was behind whatever we were

thinking, feeling, saying, or acting. … … … .

The problem with dwelling on others’ defects is that we taste the negativity of

doing so. My teacher often says when we think negatively about someone “it is

like drinking poison and hoping the other will die. When we think negatively, we

feel negatively. Other people may be completely oblivious to what we are

thinking, but we will feel anger or jealousy or whatever it is that we keep in our

minds.”

If we keep our awareness on ourselves, we will have realizations. And once we

have a realization, we can make a shift within and transform the self. To be able
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to do this successfully requires great honesty. My teacher believes that honesty –

with the self – is essential for happiness.

To be able to increase our awareness and realizations, which enables

transformation, we need to know “the enemy within.”

Francois de la Rochefoucauld said: “If we had no faults of our own, we would not

take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.”

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Lesson 14: Possess Self-Respect, Not Ego

So if I keep awareness, what should be the effect?

To let go of your ego and possess self-respect.

… … … . But in my mind, self-respect was linked to receiving respect from others.

And certainly, I had respect for myself as long as others had respect for me. But

when others did not give me respect I sought, the respect I had for myself

declined and my happiness fell along with it.

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… … … . But true self-respect is not derived from what we have accomplished. …

… … . It is not tied to a result, or an outcome, or a temporary status that is here

one day and gone the next. It occurs when we realize we do not need to be seen

as special or as a celebrity, because in God’s eyes, we are all celebrities, we are all

special.

Signs of ego include:

First, identifying with the body and thinking in terms if “I” and “mine”. For

example, I am of a certain nationality, race, gender, religion, etc. … … …; and

these are my ideas, beliefs, etc.

Second, getting caught up in the “R’s” of reacting, recalling, resisting, rejecting, or

seeking revenge.

Third, engaging in the “C’s” of comparing, competing, criticizing, or condemning.

All of these keep the heart from experiencing love.

Fourth, thinking “I am right”. This includes judging someone as bad or not as

good as we think he or she should be, … … … .

A – Remember who we are. I am a soul who is worthy, eternal, and special. Realize

no two souls are alike; we are unique and already have everything we need. [God

loves all of us equally exactly as a mother loves her children equally without

discrimination.]

B – Recognize we have an important role to play. God needs us and cannot do His

work on earth without us lending Him the purity of our minds, thoughts, words,

and actions.

C – Take responsibility for our state of being and blame no one for it. We need to

accept that our thoughts create our feelings and that our karma has drawn certain

people and experiences to us, so no one else is to blame for our happiness or

sadness.

D – Focus on strengths and have the highest vision of the self and others. While

we may think that we have, or someone else has, 99 negative qualities, we must

find and focus on the one good quality within us and others.

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E – Shift within to stop our suffering by thinking, speaking, and acting in a new

way. When we change our state of being through our effort, we feel a sense of

accomplishment and goodness within.

I now know self-respect is essential for happiness. But it does not occur after

“receiving” respect; it arises after “giving” it. Only when we give respect, to all

people at all times in all circumstances, can our minds become peaceful and our

hearts become loving.

Mahatma Gandhi said: “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it

to them.”

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Lesson 15: Prefer No One, Love All

In self-respect, you won’t prefer one over another.

You will love all, with the warmth of a mother.

Know the ego loves opinions and to separate and divide.

But if you were truly wise, you would never pick a side.

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………

Or else what will happen? You’ll root for one over another.

But the one you root against is God’s child and your brother.

Will you cheer his defeat? Will you relish his downfall?

Will this bring peace of mind and make you feel love for all?

………

Jesus said: “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” I was quite

happy to divide the world into those whom I loved and those whom I did not.

Essentially, I loved those who did as I liked and I did not love those who did

otherwise, which is not exactly Christ-like.

My teacher says the first step toward becoming truly loving towards all is to let go

of the false identities associated with the body and remember who we are. A soul

has no religion, nationality, political affiliation, or family ties.

My teacher’s teacher said: “If you have hatred, or even the slightest trace of

dislike, for even one of God’s children, you cannot experience God’s love.” This is

how clean our hearts must be. This is how loving we must become. G. K.

Chesterton said it well when he said: “Love means to love that which is unlovable;

or it is no virtue at all.”
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Learning to love all is not just about being in a state of forgiveness, it is about

having good wishes for all, not just a few.

True love is for all, not just a few. It does not fluctuate, and so there is no

suffering, fear, or loss associated with it. There are no requirements or

conditions. It is not a burden placed on someone to sustain our happiness, but

rather a treasure we have within that is shared effortlessly with all, at all times. So,

love is given, not taken. In a state of love, we are so full we do not need anything

from anyone. All neediness has finished and we are truly able to give to anyone.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery said: “Love does not cause suffering: what causes it is

the sense of ownership, which is love’s opposite.”

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Lesson 16: Investigate Your Intentions

… … … But restoring our happiness is actually the greatest gift we can give, not

only to the self, but to others. When we feel happy, we are generous.

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When we are happy, we are not only generous, but allowing and forgiving. We do

not take things personally. We can let things go. But when we are not happy, the

slightest untoward glance can trigger us to snap, shout, or cry.

My teacher often says, “You will know your intentions were not pure when you

lose your happiness while doing something for someone.”

My teacher speaks of 4 levels of giving that help illustrate this lesson:

1 – I have nothing, so you must give to me.

2 – I will give to you, but you must give to me first.

3 – I will give to you, so that you will give to me.

4 – I have an abundance and share with everyone. This is the highest form of

giving, when there is not even a consciousness of giving. It is when we are so full

that our urn is overflowing and then all others receive from us.

You need to give with happiness. Everything you do must be done with happiness.

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My teacher recommends thinking that God Himself has asked you to do

something for one of His children. This helps make us more light-hearted, happy,

and willing to do what we must.

When we make a shift, we feel good, so we do good. This contrasts with what I

used to do, which was to do good to feel good.

The path to happiness is about moving into a place of unlimited love, where

giving is natural, a part of who we are. When we give from this place, a place of

fullness, then there are no requirements or conditions on others. Whether we

receive appreciation, praise, and love, or indifference, scorn, and criticism, it does

not matter, because we were not doing to take, we were simply doing, and

someone happened to receive. Giving from a pure place guarantees we receive

now and later. In this state we are truly selfless.

Confucius said: “Act with kindness, but do not expect gratitude.”

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Lesson 17: No Desires or Expectations

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My teacher often says, “You cannot be happy if you have desires.” This is because

our minds cannot be peaceful, as they are wanting, and our hearts cannot be

loving, as they are longing.

… … …; I have just creatively disguised my desire to “save the world” by trying to

convince you to “save yourself … and this will save the world.”

… … …, … “success is bestowed on you by others, but satisfaction arises from

within, when you know you have done the best you can.” When we strive for

satisfaction in what we do and are not dependent on others to bestow success

upon us, this is true freedom from desires. If we all strived for inner satisfaction,

rather than external success, we would begin to see real progress in the world.

[Physical desires are obvious but psychological desires are subtle.]

… … … . It was a revelation to hear that if we have expectations we cannot be

happy, particularly because we have so many. Expectations are a form of desire,

but they are more subtle and are usually about how other people “should” think,

speak, and act.

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The moment my teacher hears anyone says “should,” she immediately says, “Stop

with this word “should.” Delete it from your vocabulary.” Then she explains

thinking “should” about anyone or anything is the expressway to unhappiness.

“Should” is an expectation, which is the product of each person’s conditioning,

experiences, and beliefs and, therefore, is not necessarily shared by everyone

else. So to think “should” about anyone or anything is an invitation to irritation.

… … … understand and accept that different people have different ways of doing

things. There is no need to take it personally or become upset about it. It is what

it is.

All of these “shoulds” and “should nots” put other people in charge of our

happiness.

As long as we have desires or expectations, we are in a self-made prison, where

everyone else has been appointed warden. If our desires and expectations are

fulfilled, then we may enjoy some free time in the yard. But if they are not, then

we are back in the dark hole of unhappiness. If, however, we let go of how things

“should” be or how people “should” behave, then we are free. No one and nothing

can control our state of being. What a glorious state to be in!

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Aristotle said: “It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live

only for the gratification of it.”

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Lesson 18: Ensure You Observe, Do Not Absorb

I used to be like a giant sponge, absorbing all of the world’s sorrow. … … … .

… … … . When a doctor sees a patient, he or she cannot absorb the pain of the

patient. The doctor must observe the patient to give the proper diagnosis. My

teacher often jokes, “What if you went to a dentist, opened your mouth to show

him an abscess, and then he screamed and passed out? What help could he give

you?”

I have heard Dadi Janki say: “Souls are so weak nowadays, most people cannot

meet an angry person without becoming angry themselves. But what does an

angry person need? More anger? Or peace? We need to be spiritual fire fighters,

putting out the fires of anger with the cool water of peace.”

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The lesson for me in this is to have the love and understanding of a mother with

everyone, not just with my daughter. I need to understand there is always an

underlying reason why someone is acting a certain way, whether the reason is

known or not.

Observing is not just about observing other people or situations, it is also about

observing what is happening within; it is an aspect of awareness.

In truth, understanding and accepting karma is essential to stop absorbing and

begin observing. When we know there are no accidents, mistakes, or injustices,

then we can greatly reduce, if not eliminate, our suffering in the face of the

suffering of others. When we realize that somehow in some way at some time –

often unknowingly – a soul has sown the seeds that reaped bitter fruit, then there

is nothing to cry about. Whatever is happening is simply a settling of some

account and when that account is settled, it is finished.

When we no longer absorb other people’s pain and suffering, we can truly be of

service to them. We will be able to visit a hospital and not absorb all of the fear,

but, rather, radiate love. And we will be able to encounter an angry person and

not become angry, but, rather, radiate peace. … … … . This is one of the greatest

gifts we can give to ourselves and others.

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Sufi Master Hazrat Inayut Khan said: “The one who sees all things and yet rises

above them is the one who will walk over the sea.”

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Lesson 19: Sit With Yourself and God Everyday

So please tell me how to cure my aching heart?

What is the secret? Where do I start?

The best way to heal is to sit with yourself.

And then sit with God to restore your inner health.

Call it what you will, some will say meditate.

But I can assure you, it is the only way to radiate.

[Sit with yourself and God everyday = meditate everyday. There are different kinds

of meditation; choose the one you like or more than one. The most important

thing is to meditate regularly every day. Join a meditation group if available

around you.]

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Beyond this, my teacher also describes meditation as a way of being, not

something we do. It is a state of introversion, of connection to the goodness we

have within, so we can connect to something greater. When this state is achieved,

then it is as if we have plugged our soul into the ultimate battery charger and we

can experience and fill ourselves with the limitless supply of virtue God has and

transform our old nature into a divine one.

The goal is to always be in a state of introversion, of inner fulfilment and

connection with God, no matter who I am with or what I am doing.

Dadi Janki said: “To become like the Father means that whatever qualities, virtues,

and powers God has, He gives them to us.”

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Lesson 20: Soar With Gratitude

“Give thanks for everything,” good and bad.

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My teacher, who has faced many challenges throughout her life, said Dadi Janki

once told her, “Tests come that are just a bit beyond our capacity so we’ll expand

our capacity in facing them.” My teacher also says she expresses gratitude for all

that happens, because she knows she is being pushed to perfection with each

test. Giving thanks is also a way of blessing a situation and removing any

influence or power it may have over your state of being.

… … … . I would give thanks for the challenges in life, because I know everything

I face will only make me more experienced and stronger. … … … .

I would give thanks for having enough faith, courage, and love to make an effort

each day to reach that glorious state where my happiness depends on no one and

nothing.

I could continue writing and writing about all the things for which I am grateful.

But if you have made it this far in this book, it shows that you have at least a drop

of love for yourself. And with wisdom and practice, you can turn that drop into an

ocean of love for yourself, God, and everyone else. Then, no one and nothing will

be able to take your happiness away.

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Cicero said: “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all

others.”

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Conclusion

The Angle Departs

The angel then said, “It’s time for me to go.

I’ve told you enough of what you need to know.

Now you need to practice, to make it your own.

Work with the wisdom and let go of what you’ve known.

………

………

………

My teacher said: “Take the achievement, but renounce the arrogance over the

achievement. … … … .”

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With that, I wish you the best in bringing peace back into your mind and love into

your heart. Happiness is your birthright. … … … .

It is only by changing ourselves that we can change the world. When you change

yourself, then you become an angel, an angel that is doing God’s work by

bringing peace and love back onto this earth.

Confucius said: “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in

order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the

family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must set our hearts

right.”

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