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 21425, 20.5.22 (1
)

SHES- VINCIT-THROU
J
LLE-LINDALL WINTHROP

HARVARD COLLEGE LIBRARY

THE BEQUEST of

Grenville L. Winthrop
1943

This book is not to be sold or exchanged

‫دکانه‬
 Novels

of the

Sisters Brontë

THE THORNTON EDITION

EDITED BY

TEMPLE SCOTT
 JANE EYRE

BY

Charlotte Brontë

VOL. I.

WITH PORTRAIT

LONDON

DOWNEY & CO. LTD.

12 YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN

CHARLOTTE BRONTECCCXCVIII
Reproduced by permission of the Brown Family
and Messrs. Sotheby, Wilkinson & Hodge
from an Oil Painting by J. H. Thompson
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 JANE EYRE

BY

Charlotte Brontë

VOL. I.

WITH PORTRAIT

&

LONDON

DOWNEY & CO. LTD.

12 YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN

MDCCCXCVIII
2-1425.20,5, 22 (1),
A

GILBERT &
RIVINGTON

PRINTER
LONDON
 ΤΟ

W. M. THACKERAY, Esq.

THIS WORK

IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED

BY

THE AUTHOR
 PREFACE

A PREFACE to the first edition of JANE EYRE being

unnecessary, I gave none : this second edition

demands a few words both of acknowledgment and

miscellaneous remark.

My thanks are due in three quarters.

To the Public, for the indulgent ear it has inclined

to a plain tale with few pretensions .

To the Press, for the fair field its honest suffrage

has opened to an obscure aspirant.

To my Publishers, ' for the aid their tact, their

energy, their practical sense, and frank liberality

have afforded an unknown and unrecommended
Author.

The Press and the Public are but vague personi-

fications for me, and I must thank them in vague

terms ; but my Publishers are definite : so are

¹ Messrs. Smith, Elder and Co. For the very gracious

treatment which these publishers accorded Charlotte Brontë,
the reader is referred to Mrs. Gaskell's admirable " Life " of
the gifted authoress. [T.S. ]
vii
 PREFACE

certain generous critics ' who have encouraged me

as only large-hearted and high-minded men know

how to encourage a struggling stranger ; to them,

i.e. to my Publishers and the select Reviewers, I say

cordially, gentlemen, I thank you from my heart.

Having thus acknowledged what I owe those who

have aided and approved me, I turn to another class ;

a small one, so far as I know, but not, therefore, to

be overlooked. I mean the timorous or carping

few who doubt the tendency of such books as JANE

EYRE : in whose eyes whatever is unusual is wrong ;

whose ears detect in each protest against bigotry-

that parent of crime-an insult to piety, that regent

of God on earth . I would suggest to such doubters
certain obvious distinctions ; I would remind them

of certain simple truths ."

1 One of these was George Henry Lewes, the husband of

George Eliot. Thackeray also expressed his high opinion of
JANE EYRE, and in her letter to Mr. W. S. Williams, under
date, December 11th, 1847, Charlotte Brontë refers to Sir
John Herschel, Mr. Fonblanque, and Leigh Hunt as having
received pleasure from the reading of her work. [T.S. ]
2 The Quarterly Review and the Times both treated JANE
EYRE harshly. The Quarterly article was written by Miss
Rigby, afterwards Lady Eastlake, during the editorship of
J. G. Lockhart, and contains several most discourteous
animadversions on the morals of the author of JANE EYRE,
whom Miss Rigby believed to be a man. Charlotte Brontë
thought so seriously of this article that she wrote a preface
viii
 PREFACE

Conventionality is not morality. Self- righteous-

ness is not religion . To attack the first is not to

assail the last. To pluck the mask from the face of

the Pharisee, is not to lift an impious hand to the

Crown of Thorns.

These things or deeds are diametrically opposed :

they are as distinct as is vice from virtue. Men too

often confound them : they should not be con-
founded appearance should not be mistaken for

truth ; narrow human doctrines, that only tend to

elate and magnify a few, should not be substituted

for the world -redeeming creed of Christ. There is

-I repeat it—a difference ; and it is a good, and

not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the
line of separation between them.

The world may not like to see these ideas dis-

severed, for it has been accustomed to blend them ;

finding it convenient to make external show pass

for sterling worth- to let whitewashed walls vouch

for clean shrines . It may hate him who dares to

scrutinize and expose to raise the gilding and show

the base metal under it-to penetrate the sepulchre,

for the new edition of her story with the title " A word to
the Quarterly " ; but she cancelled it for the one which was
prefixed to the second edition, and which is here reprinted.
[T.S. ]
ix
 PREFACE

and reveal charnel relics : but hate as it will , it is

indebted to him.

Ahab did not like Micaiah, because he never

prophesied good concerning him, but evil : pro-

bably he liked the sycophant son of Chenaannah
better ; yet might Ahab have escaped a bloody
death, had he but stopped his ears to flattery, and
opened them to faithful counsel.

There is a man in our own days whose words are

not framed to tickle delicate ears : who, to my

thinking, comes before the great ones of society,

much as the son of Imlah came before the throned

Kings of Judah and Israel ; and who speaks truth

as deep, with a power as prophet-like and as vital

-a mien as dauntless and as daring . Is the

satirist of VANITY FAIR admired in high places ? I
cannot tell ; but I think if some of those amongst
whom he hurls the Greek fire of his sarcasm, and

over whom he flashes the levin-brand of his

denunciation, were to take his warnings in time—

they or their seed might yet escape a fatal Ramoth-

Gilead.

Why have I alluded to this man ? I have alluded

to him, reader, because I think I see in him an

intellect profounder and more unique than his

contemporaries have yet recognized ; because I
X
 PREFACE

regard him as the first social regenerator of the day

-as the very master of that working corps who

would restore to rectitude the warped system of

things ; because I think no commentator on his

writings has yet found the comparison that suits

him, the terms which rightly characterize his talent.

They say he is like Fielding : they talk of his wit,

humour, comic powers . He resembles Fielding as

an eagle does a vulture : Fielding could stoop on

carrion, but Thackeray never does . His wit is

bright, his humour attractive, but both bear the

same relation to his serious genius, that the mere

lambent sheet-lightning playing under the edge of

the summer- cloud, does to the electric death- spark

hid in its womb . Finally ; I have alluded to Mr.

Thackeray, because to him-if he will accept the

tribute of a total stranger-I have dedicated this

second edition of JANE EYRE .

CURRER BELL .

December 21st, 1847.

xi
 NOTE TO THE THIRD EDITION

I AVAIL myself of the opportunity which a third

edition of JANE EYRE affords me, of again address-

ing a word to the Public, to explain that my claim

to the title of novelist rests on this one work alone.

If, therefore, the authorship of other works of

fiction has been attributed to me, an honour is

awarded where it is not merited ; and consequently

denied where it is justly due.

This explanation will serve to rectify mistakes

which may already have been made , and to prevent

future errors .

CURRER BELL.

August 13th, 1848.

 JANE EYRE

CHAPTER I.

THERE was no possibility of taking a walk that day.

We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless
shrubbery an hour in the morning ; but since dinner
(Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined
early) the cold winter wind had brought with it
clouds so sombre and a rain so penetrating , that
further outdoor exercise was now out of the

question .
I was glad of it : I never liked long walks ,
especially on chilly afternoons : dreadful to me was
the coming home in the raw twilight, with nipped
fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the
chidings of Bessy, the nurse, and humbled by the
consciousness of my physical inferiority to Eliza,
John, and Georgiana Reed .
The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now
clustered round their mamma in the drawing-room :
I B
 JANE EYRE

she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with

her darlings about her (for the time neither
quarrelling nor crying) looked perfectly happy. Me,
she had dispensed from joining the group ; saying,
" She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping
me at a distance ; but that until she heard from

Bessie and could discover by her own observation

that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire
a more sociable and child-like disposition, a more
attractive and sprightly manner-something lighter,
franker, more natural, as it were-she really must
exclude me from privileges intended only for con-
""
tented, happy little children.'
"What does Bessie say I have done ? " I asked.
" Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners :
besides, there is something truly forbidding in a
child taking up her elders in that manner. Be
seated somewhere ; and until you can speak
pleasantly, remain silent. "
A small breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-
room ; I slipped in there. It contained a book- case :

I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care

that it should be one stored with pictures . I
mounted into the window-seat : gathering up my

feet, I sat cross-legged , like a Turk ; and, having

drawn the red moreen curtain nearly close , I was
shrined in double retirement.

Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the

right hand ; to the left were the clear panes of glass
protecting, but not separating me from the drear
2
 JANE EYRE

November day. At intervals, while turning over the

leaves of my book, I studied the aspect of that
winter afternoon. Afar, it offered a pale blank of
mist and cloud ; near, a scene of wet lawn and storm-
beat shrub, with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly
before a long and lamentable blast .
I returned to my book- Bewick's History of
British Birds : the letterpress thereof I cared little
for, generally speaking ; and yet there were certain
introductory pages that, child as I was, I could not
pass quite as a blank. They were those which treat
of the haunts of sea-fowl ; of "the solitary rocks
and promontories " by them only inhabited ; of the
coast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern
extremity, the Lindeness, or Naze, to the North
Cape-

"Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,

Boils round the naked, melancholy isles
Of farthest Thule ; and the Atlantic surge
Pours in among the stormy Hebrides."

Nor could I pass unnoticed the suggestion of the

bleak shores of Lapland, Siberia, Spitzbergen, Nova
Zembla, Iceland, Greenland, with " the vast sweep
of the Arctic Zone, and those forlorn regions of
dreary space- that reservoir of frost and snow,
where firm fields of ice , the accumulation of centuries
of winters, glazed in Alpine heights above heights,
surround the pole, and concentre the multiplied
rigours of extreme cold." Of these death-white
realms I formed an idea of my own shadowy, like all
3
 JANE EYRE

the half- comprehended notions that float dim through

children's brains, but strangely impressive . The

words in these introductory pages connected them-

selves with the succeeding vignettes, and gave
significance to the rock standing up alone in a sea
of billow and spray ; to the broken boat stranded on
a desolate coast ; to the cold and ghastly moon
glancing through bars of cloud at a wreck just
sinking.
I cannot tell what sentiment haunted the quite
solitary churchyard, with its inscribed headstone ;
its gate, its two trees, its low horizon , girdled by
a broken wall, and its newly-risen crescent, attesting
the hour of even-tide.

The two ships becalmed on a torpid sea, I believed

to be marine phantoms .

The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind

him, I passed over quickly : it was an object of
terror.

So was the black, horned thing seated aloof on a

rock, surveying a distant crowd surrounding a
gallows .
Each picture told a story ; mysterious often to my
undeveloped understanding and imperfect feelings ,
yet ever profoundly interesting as interesting as
the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter

evenings , when she chanced to be in good humour ;

and when, having brought her ironing-table to the
nursery-hearth, she allowed us to sit about it, and
while she got up Mrs. Reed's lace frills, and crimped
4
 JANE EYRE

her night-cap borders, fed our eager attention

with passages of love and adventure taken from
old fairy tales and older ballads ; or (as at a later
period I discovered) from the pages of Pamela and
Henry, Earl of Moreland.
With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy :
happy at least in my way. I feared nothing but
interruption, and that came too soon. The break-

fast-room door opened.

" Boh ! Madam Mope ! " cried the voice of John
Reed ; then he paused : he found the room appa-
rently empty.
"Where the dickens is she ? " he continued.

" Lizzy ! Georgy ! " (calling to his sisters) " Jane is

not here : tell mamma she is run out into the rain
-bad animal ! "
" It is well I drew the curtain," thought I ; and I
wished fervently he might not discover my hiding-
place. Nor would John Reed have found it out him-
self ; he was not quick either of vision or conception ;
but Eliza just put her head in at the door, and said
at once :-
" She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack. "
And I came out immediately, for I trembled at
the idea of being dragged forth by the said
Jack.

" What do you want ? " I asked , with awkward

diffidence .

"Say, ' What do you want, Master Reed,' " was the
answer. " I want you to come here ; " and seating
5
 JANE EYRE

himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a gesture

that I was to approach and stand before him .
John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old ;
four years older than I , for I was but ten ; large and
stout for his age, with a dingy and unwholesome
skin ; thick lineaments in a spacious visage , heavy
limbs and large extremities. He gorged himself
habitually at table, which made him bilious, and
gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.
He ought now to have been at school ; but his
mamma had taken him home for a month or two,
" on account of his delicate health ." Mr. Miles , the
master, affirmed that he would do very well if he had
fewer cakes and sweetmeats sent him from home ;
but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so
harsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea
that John's sallowness was owing to over-application
and, perhaps , to pining after home.
John had not much affection for his mother and
sisters, and an antipathy for me. He bullied and
punished me ; not two or three times in the week,
nor once or twice in a day, but continually. Every
nerve I had feared him, and every morsel of flesh on
my bones shrank when he came near. There were

moments when I was bewildered by the terror he

inspired, because I had no appeal whatever against
either his menaces or his inflictions . The servants
did not like to offend their young master by taking
my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and
deaf on the subject : she never saw him strike or
6
 JANE EYRE

heard him abuse me, though he did both now and

then in her very presence ; more frequently, how-
ever, behind her back.

Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his

chair. He spent some three minutes in thrusting
out his tongue at me as far as he could without

damaging the roots . I knew he would soon strike ,

and while dreading the blow, I mused on the
disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would
presently deal it. I wonder if he read that notion
in my face ; for all at once, without speaking, he
struck suddenly and strongly. I tottered, and on
regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two
from his chair.
" That is for your impudence in answering mamma
awhile since," said he, " and for your sneaking way
of getting behind curtains, and for the look you had
in your eyes two minutes since, you rat ! "
Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had
an idea of replying to it ; my care was how to endure
the blow which would certainly follow the insult.
“What were you doing behind the curtain ? " he
asked.

"I was reading."

" Show the book."
I returned to the window and fetched it thence .
" You have no business to take our books ; you
are a dependent, mamma says ; you have no money ;
your father left you none ; you ought to beg, and
not to live here with gentlemen's children like us,
7
 JANE EYRE

and eat the same meals we do, and wear clothes at

our mamma's expense . Now, I'll teach you to
rummage my bookshelves : for they are mine ; all
the house belongs to me, or will do in a few years.
Go and stand by the door, out of the way of the
mirror and the windows."
I did so , not at first aware what was his intention ;
but when I saw him lift and poise the book and
stand in act to hurl it, I instinctively started aside
with a cry of alarm : not soon enough, however ; the
volume was flung, it hit me, and I fell, striking my
head against the door and cutting it . The cut bled,
the pain was sharp my terror had passed its
climax other feelings succeeded .
" Wicked and cruel boy ! " I said. " You are like

a murderer-you are like a slave-driver-you are like

the Roman emperors ! "

I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome, and had

formed my opinion of Nero, Caligula, etc. Also I
had drawn parallels in silence , which I never thought
thus to have declared aloud.
" What ! what ! " he cried . "Did she say that to
me ? Did you hear her, Eliza and Georgiana ?
Won't I tell mamma ? but first- "

He ran headlong at me : I felt him grasp my hair

and my shoulder : he had closed with a desperate
thing. I really saw in him a tyrant, a murderer. I
felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down
my neck, and was sensible of somewhat pungent
suffering these sensations for the time predomi-
8
 JANE EYRE

nated over fear, and I received him in frantic sort.

I don't very well know what I did with my hands, but
he called me " Rat ! rat ! " and bellowed out aloud.

Aid was near him : Eliza and Georgiana had run for
Mrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs ; she now came
upon the scene, followed by Bessie and her maid

Abbot. We were parted : I heard the words , -

66
Dear ! dear ! What a fury, to fly at Master
John ! "

" Did ever anybody see such a picture of

passion ! "
Then Mrs. Reed subjoined , " Take her away to
the red-room, and lock her in there." Four hands
were immediately laid upon me, and I was borne
upstairs.

9
 CHAPTER II.

I RESISTED all the way : a new thing for me, and a

circumstance which greatly strengthened the bad
opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed to
entertain of me. The fact is, I was a trifle beside
myself; or, rather out of myself, as the French would
say. I was conscious that a moment's mutiny had
already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and,
like any other rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my
desperation, to go all lengths.
" Hold her arms, Miss Abbot ; she's like a mad
""
cat."

" For shame, for shame ! " cried the lady's-maid .

"What shocking conduct, Miss Eyre, to strike a
young gentleman, your benefactress's son ! • Your
young master ! "
" Master ! How is he my master ? Am I a
servant ? "

" No ; you are less than a servant, for you do

nothing for your keep. There, sit down, and think
39
over your wickedness.'

They had got me by this time into the apartment

IO
 JANE EYRE

indicated by Mrs. Reed, and had thrust me upon a

stool . My impulse was to rise from it like a spring ;
their two pair of hands arrested me instantly.
" If you don't sit still, you must be tied down,"
said Bessie. " Miss Abbot, lend me your garters ;
she would break mine directly."
Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the
necessary ligature. This preparation for bonds, and
the additional ignominy it inferred, took a little of
the excitement out of me.

" Don't take them off," I cried ; " I will not

""
stir.'

In guarantee whereof, I attached myself to my

seat by my hands.
" Mind you don't, " said Bessie ; and when she had
ascertained that I was really subsiding, she loosened
her hold of me ; then she and Miss Abbot stood with
folded arms , looking darkly and doubtfully on my
face, as incredulous of my sanity.
" She never did so before ," at last said Bessie,
turning to the Abigail .
" But it was always in her," was the reply. " I've
told Missis often my opinion about the child, and
Missis agreed with me. She's an underhand little

thing I never saw a girl of her age with so much

""
cover. '
Bessie answered not ; but ere long, addressing me,
she said ,-

"You ought to be aware, Miss, that you are under

obligations to Mrs. Reed : she keeps you : if she
II
 JANE EYRE

were to turn you off you would have to go to the

poor- house ."
I had nothing to say to these words : they were
not new to me my very first recollections of
existence included hints of the same kind. This

reproach of my dependence had become a vague

sing-song in my ear ; very painful and crushing, but
only half intelligible . Miss Abbot joined in :-
" And you ought not to think yourself on an
equality with the Misses Reed and Master Reed,
because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up
with them. They will have a great deal of money
and you will have none : it is your place to be
humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to
them . "

"What we tell you is for your good," added Bessie,

in no harsh voice ; " you should try to be useful and
pleasant, then, perhaps , you would have a home
here ; but if you become passionate and rude ,
Missis will send you away, I am sure."
" Besides," said Miss Abbot, " God will punish
her : He might strike her dead in the midst of her
tantrums, and then where would she go ? Come,
Bessie, we will leave her : I wouldn't have her heart
for anything. Say your prayers, Miss Eyre, when
you are by yourself ; for if you don't repent , some-
thing bad might be permitted to come down the
chimney and fetch you away."
They went, shutting the door, and locking it
behind them.
12
 JANE EYRE

The red-room was a spare chamber, very seldom

slept in ; I might say never, indeed , unless when a
chance influx of visitors at Gateshead Hall rendered

it necessary to turn to account all the accommo-

dation it contained : yet it was one of the largest
and stateliest chambers in the mansion . A bed

supported on massive pillars of mahogany, hung

with curtains of deep red damask, stood out like a
tabernacle in the centre, the two large windows,
with their blinds always drawn down, were half
shrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery ;
the carpet was red ; the table at the foot of the bed
was covered with a crimson cloth ; the walls were a
soft fawn colour, with a blush of pink in it ; the
wardrobe, the toilet table, the chairs, were of darkly
polished old mahogany. Out of these deep
surrounding shades rose high and glared white, the
piled-up mattresses and pillows of the bed, spread
with a snowy Marseilles counterpane. Scarcely less
prominent was an ample cushioned easy- chair near
the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool
before it, and looking, as I thought, like a pale
throne .
This room was chill, because it seldom had a fire ;
it was silent, because remote from the nursery and
kitchens ; solemn, because it was known to be
so seldom entered . The housemaid alone came
here on Saturdays, to wipe from the mirrors and
the furniture a week's quiet dust and Mrs. Reed
herself, at far intervals , visited it to review the

13
 JANE EYRE

contents of a certain secret drawer in the wardrobe,

where were stored divers parchments, her jewel-
casket, and a miniature of her deceased husband ;
and in those last words lies the secret of the red-

room - the spell which kept it so lonely in spite of

its grandeur .
Mr. Reed had been dead nine years it was in
this chamber he breathed his last ; here he lay in
state ; hence his coffin was borne by the under-
taker's men ; and since that day a sense of dreary
consecration had guarded it from frequent in-
trusion.
My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss
Abbot had left me riveted , was a low ottoman near
the marble chimney-piece ; the bed rose before me ;
to my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe ,
with subdued, broken reflections varying the gloss
of its panels ; to my left were the muffled windows ;
a great looking-glass between them repeated the
vacant majesty of the bed and room. I was not
quite sure whether they had locked the door ; and ,
when I dared move, I got up and went to see.
Alas ! yes no gaol was ever more secure. Return-
ing, I had to cross before the looking-glass ; my
fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth
it revealed. All looked colder and darker in that
visionary hollow than in reality : and the strange
little figure there gazing at me, with a white face
and arms specking the gloom, and glittering eyes
of fear moving where all else was still, had the
14
 JANE EYRE

effect of a real spirit : I thought it like one of the

tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening
stories represented as coming out of lone, ferny
dells in moors , and appearing before the eyes of
belated travellers. I returned to my stool.
Superstition was with me at that moment ; but it
was not yet her hour for complete victory. My
blood was still warm ; the mood of the revolted
slave was still bracing me with its bitter vigour ; I
had to stem a rapid rush of retrospective thought
before I quailed to the dismal present.
All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters'
proud indifference, all his mother's aversion, all the
servants' partiality, turned up in my disturbed mind
like a dark deposit in a turbid well. Why was I
always suffering, always brow-beaten, always accused,
for ever condemned ? Why could I never please ?
Why was it useless to try to win anyone's favour ?
Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was

respected. Georgiana, who had a spoiled temper,

a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,
was universally indulged. Her beauty, her pink
cheeks and golden curls, seemed to give delight
to all who looked at her, and to purchase indemnity
for every fault. John no one thwarted, much less
punished ; though he twisted the necks of the

pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks, set the dogs

at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their
fruit, and broke the buds off the choicest plants in
the conservatory : he called his mother " old girl,"
15
 JANE EYRE

too ; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,

similar to his own ; bluntly disregarded her wishes ;
not unfrequently tore and spoiled her silk attire ;
and he was still " her own darling." I dared
commit no fault : I strove to fulfil every duty ;

and I was termed naughty and tiresome, sullen and

sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to
night.
My head still ached and bled with the blow and
fall I had received : no one had reproved John for
wantonly striking me ; and because I had turned
against him to avert farther irrational violence , I
was loaded with general opprobrium.
Unjust-unjust ! " said my reason, forced by the
agonizing stimulus into precocious though transitory
power ; and Resolve, equally wrought up, instigated
some strange expedient to achieve escape from
insupportable oppression -as running away, or, if
that could not be effected, never eating or drinking
more, and letting myself die.
What a consternation of soul was mine that

dreary afternoon ! How all my brain was in tumult,

and all my heart in insurrection ! Yet in what
darkness , what dense ignorance, was the mental
battle fought ! I could not answer the ceaseless
inward question-why I thus suffered ; now, at the
distance of- I will not say how many years, I see it
clearly.
I was a discord in Gateshead Hall ; I was like
nobody there ; I had nothing in harmony with
16
 JANE EYRE

Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.

If they did not love me, in fact, as little did I love
them . They were not bound to regard with affec-
tion a thing that could not sympathize with one
amongst them ; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to
them in temperament, in capacity, in propensities ;
a useless thing, incapable of serving their interest
or adding to their pleasure ; a noxious thing,
cherishing the germs of indignation at their treat-
ment, of contempt of their judgment. I know that
had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting,
handsome, romping child-though equally depen-
dent and friendless-Mrs. Reed would have endured
my presence more complacently ; her children
would have entertained for me more of the cor-

diality of fellow-feeling ; the servants would have

been less prone to make me the scapegoat of the
nursery.
Daylight began to forsake the red-room ; it was
past four o'clock, and the beclouded afternoon was
tending to drear twilight. I heard the rain still

beating continuously on the staircase window, and

the wind howling in the grove behind the hall ; I
grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then my
courage sank. My habitual mood of humiliation ,
self-doubt, forlorn depression, fell damp on the
embers of my decaying ire. All said I was wicked ,
and perhaps I might be so : what thought had I
been but just conceiving of starving myself to
death ? That certainly was a crime ; and . was I fit
17 C
 JANE EYRE

to die ? Or was the vault under the chancel of

Gateshead Church an inviting bourne ? In such
vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie buried ; and
led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it
with gathering dread. I could not remember him ;
but I knew that he was my own uncle- my mother's
brother-that he had taken me when a parentless
infant to his house ; and that in his last moments

he had required a promise of Mrs. Reed that she

would rear and maintain me as one of her own

children. Mrs. Reed probably considered she had

kept this promise ; and so she had , I daresay, as
well as her nature would permit her ; but how could
!-

she really like an interloper, not of her race, and

unconnected with her, after her husband's death,
by any tie ? It must have been most irksome to
find herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand
in the stead of a parent to a strange child she could
not love, and to see an uncongenial alien per-
manently intruded on her own family group .
A singular notion dawned upon me. I doubted
not -never doubted- that if Mr. Reed had been

alive he would have treated me kindly ; and now, as

I sat looking at the white bed and overshadowed
walls -occasionally also turning a fascinated eye
towards the dimly gleaming mirror-I began to
recall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in
their graves by the violation of their last wishes,
revisiting the earth to punish the perjured and
avenge the oppressed ; and I thought Mr. Reed's
18
 JANE EYRE

spirit , harassed by the wrongs of his sister's child,

might quit its abode-whether in the church vault
or in the unknown world of the departed-and rise
before me in this chamber. I wiped my tears and
hushed my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief
might waken a preternatural voice to comfort me, or
elicit from the gloom some haloed face, bending
over me with strange pity. This idea, consolatory
in theory, I felt would be terrible if realized ; with
all my might I endeavoured to stifle it- I en-
deavoured to be firm . Shaking my hair from my
eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly round
the dark room at this moment a light gleamed on
the wall. Was it, I asked myself, a ray from the
moon penetrating some aperture in the blind ? No ;
moonlight was still, and this stirred ; while I gazed,
it glided up to the ceiling and quivered over my
head. I can now conjecture readily that this streak
of light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a
lantern, carried by someone across the lawn ; but
then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken
as my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift-
darting beam was a herald of some coming vision
from another world. My heart beat thick, my head
grew hot ; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed
the rushing of wings ; something seemed near me ;
I was oppressed, suffocated : endurance broke down ;
I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate
effort. Steps came running along the outer pas-
sage ; the key turned. Bessie and Abbot entered.
19
 JANE EYRE

" Miss Eyre, are you ill ? " said Bessie.

"What a dreadful noise ! It went quite through
me !" exclaimed Abbot.
" Take me out ! Let me go into the nursery ! "
was my cry.
" What for ? Are you hurt ? Have you seen
something ? " again demanded Bessie.
" Oh ! I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would
""
come. I had now got hold of Bessie's hand, and
she did not snatch it from me.
" She has screamed out on purpose," declared
Abbot, in some disgust. " And what a scream ! If
she had been in great pain one would have excused
it, but she only wanted to bring us all here : I know
her naughty tricks."
"What is all this ? " demanded another voice ,
peremptorily ; and Mrs. Reed came along the
corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling
stormily. " Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave
orders that Jane Eyre should be left in the red-room
till I came to her myself. "
" Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma'am," pleaded
Bessie.
"Let her go," was the only answer. " Loose
Bessie's hand, child ; you cannot succeed in getting
out by these means, be assured. I abhor artifice ,
particularly in children ; it is my duty to show you
that tricks will not answer : you will now stay here an
hour longer, and it is only on condition of perfect sub-
mission and stillness that I shall liberate you then."
20
 JANE EYRE
66
Oh, aunt have pity ! Forgive me ! I cannot
endure it - let me be punished some other way ! I
shall be killed if="
" Silence ! This violence is all most repulsive ; "
and so, no doubt, she felt it. I was a precocious
actress in her eyes ; she sincerely looked on me as a
compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and
dangerous duplicity.
Bessie and Abbot having retreated , Mrs. Reed ,

impatient of my now frantic anguish and wild sobs ,

abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without
farther parley. I heard her sweeping away ; and
soon after she was gone, I suppose I had a species
of fit ; unconsciousness closed the scene.

21
 CHAPTER III.

THE next thing I remember is waking up with a

feeling as if I had had a frightful nightmare, and
seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed with
thick black bars. I heard voices, too , speaking with
a hollow sound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind
or water agitation , uncertainty, and an all-pre-
dominating sense of terror confused my faculties.
Ere long, I became aware that someone was hand-
ling me ; lifting me up and supporting me in a
sitting posture, and that more tenderly than I had
ever been raised or upheld before . I rested my
head against a pillow or an arm , and felt easy.
In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment
dissolved I knew quite well that I was in my own
bed, and that the red glare was the nursery fire . It
was night a candle burnt on the table ; Bessie
stood at the bed-foot with a basin in her hand, and
a gentleman sat in a chair near my pillow, leaning
over me.

I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction

22
 JANE EYRE

of protection and security, when I knew that there

was a stranger in the room, an individual not
belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.
Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far
less obnoxious to me than that of Abbot, for

instance, would have been) , I scrutinized the face of

the gentleman . I knew him ; it was Mr. Lloyd, an
apothecary, sometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when
the servants were ailing for herself and the children
she employed a physician.
66
Well, who am I ? " he asked.

I pronounced his name, offering him at the same

time my hand : he took it, smiling, and saying, " We
shall do very well by-and-by." Then he laid me

down, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very

careful that I was not disturbed during the night.
Having given some further directions , and intimated
that he should call again the next day, he departed ,
to my grief : I felt so sheltered and befriended while

he sat in the chair near my pillow ; and as he closed

the door after him, all the room darkened and my
heart again sank : inexpressible sadness weighed it
down.

" Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss ? " asked

Bessie, rather softly.
Scarcely dared I answer her, for I feared the next
sentence might be rough. " I will try."
"Would you like to drink, or could you eat any-
thing ? "
" No thank you , Bessie. "
23
 JANE EYRE

"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past

twelve o'clock ; but you may call me if you want
anything in the night. "
Wonderful civility this ! It emboldened me to ask
a question.
66
Bessie, what is the matter with me ? Am I ill ? "
" You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room, with
crying ; you'll be better soon, no doubt . "
Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment which
was near. I heard her say.-
" Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery ;
I daren't for my life be alone with that poor child
to-night ; she might die ; it's such a strange thing
she should have that fit : I wonder if she saw any-
thing. Missis was rather too hard."
Sarah came back with her ; they both went to
bed ; they were whispering together for half an hour
before they fell asleep. I caught scraps of their
conversation, from which I was able only too
distinctly to infer the main subject discussed .
" Something passed her, all dressed in white, and
66
vanished "—" A great black dog behind him ".
Three loud raps on the chamber door "-“ A
light in the churchyard just over his grave " -etc . ,
etc.

At last both slept ; the fire and the candle went

out. For me the watches of that long night passed

in ghastly wakefulness ; ear, eye, and mind were

alike strained by dread , such dread as children only
can feel.
24
 JANE EYRE

No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this

incident of the red-room ; it only gave my nerves a

shock, of which I feel the reverberation to this day.

Yes, Mrs. Reed , to you I owe some fearful pangs of
mental suffering. But I ought to forgive you, for
you knew not what you did . While rending my
heartstrings, you thought you were only uprooting
my bad propensities .
Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat
wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth. I felt
physically weak and broken down : but my worst
ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind :

a wretchedness which kept drawing from me silent

tears ; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop from
my cheek than another followed. Yet I thought, I
ought to have been happy, for none of the Reeds
were there ; they were all gone out in the carriage
with their mamma. Abbot, too , was sewing in
another room, and Bessie, as she moved hither and
thither putting away toys and arranging drawers ,
addressed to me every now and then a word of
unwonted kindness. This state of things should
have been to me a paradise of peace, accustomed as
I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless
fagging ; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now
in such a state that no calm could soothe and no

pleasure excite them agreeably.

Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she
brought up with her a tart on a certain brightly
painted china plate, whose bird of paradise, nestling
25
 JANE EYRE

in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been

wont to stir in me a most enthusiastic sense of

admiration ; and which plate I had often petitioned

to be allowed to take in my hand in order to
examine it more closely, but had always hitherto
been deemed unworthy of such a privilege. This
precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I
was cordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate
pastry upon it. Vain favour ! coming, like most
other favours long deferred and often wished for, too
late, I could not eat the tart ; and the plumage of
the bird, the tints of the flowers, seemed strangely
faded I put both plate and tart away. Bessie
asked if I would have a book ; the word book acted
as a transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch
Gulliver's Travels from the library. This book I
had again and again perused with delight. I con-
sidered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a
vein of interest deeper than what I found in fairy
tales for as to the elves, having sought them in
vain among foxglove leaves and bells , under

mushrooms, and beneath the ground-ivy mantling

old wall-nooks , I had at length made up my mind
to the sad truth that they were all gone out of Eng-
land to some savage country where the woods were
wilder and thicker and the population more scant ;
whereas, Lilliput and Brobdignag being, in my creed,
solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that
I might one day, by taking a long voyage, see with
my own eyes the little fields, houses, and trees, the
26
 JANE EYRE

diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds of

the one realm ; and the cornfields forest-high, the
mighty mastiffs, the monster cats, the tower-like
men and women of the other. Yet, when this

cherished volume was now placed in my hand-

when I turned over its leaves, and sought in its
marvellous pictures the charm I had till now never
failed to find- all was eerie and dreary ; the giants
were gaunt goblins, the pigmies malevolent and
fearful imps, Gulliver a most desolate wanderer in
most dread and dangerous regions. I closed the
book, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on
the table beside the untasted tart.

Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the

room , and having washed her hands , she opened a
certain little drawer, full of splendid shreds of silk
and satin, and began making a new bonnet for
Georgiana's doll. Meantime she sang : her song
was-
" In the days when we went gipsying,
A long time ago."

I had often heard the song before, and always

with lively delight ; for Bessie had a sweet voice-
at least, I thought so. But now, though her voice
was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescrib-
able sadness. Sometimes, preoccupied with her
work, she sang the refrain very low, very linger-
ingly : "A long time ago " came out like the
saddest cadence of a funeral hymn. She passed
into another ballad , this time a really doleful one.
27
 JANE EYRE

"My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary ;
Long is the way, and the mountains are wild ;
Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary
Over the path of the poor orphan child.
Why did they send me so far and so lonely,
Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled ?
Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only
Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.
Yet distant and soft the night-breeze is blowing,
Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild ;
God, in His mercy, protection is showing,
Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.
Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,
Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,
Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,
Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.
There is a thought that for strength should avail me ;
Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled ;
Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me ;
God is a friend to the poor orphan child."

66
' Come, Miss Jane, don't cry," said Bessie , as
she finished . She might as well have said to the
fire, " Don't burn ! " but how could she divine the
morbid suffering to which I was a prey ? In the
course of the morning Mr. Lloyd came again.
66
What, already up ! " said he, as he entered the
66
nursery. Well, nurse, how is she ? "
Bessie answered that I was doing very well.
"Then she ought to look more cheerful. Come

here, Miss Jane ; your name is Jane , is it not ? "

" Yes, sir, Jane Eyre."
"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre.
Can you tell me what about ? Have you any pain ? "
28
 JANE EYRE

' No , sir. "

" Oh ! I daresay she is crying because she could

not go out with Missis in the carriage," interposed
Bessie.
" Surely not ! why, she is too old for such
pettishness. "
I thought so too ; and my self- esteem being
wounded by the false charge, I answered, promptly,
" I never cried for such a thing in my life : I hate
going out in the carriage. I cry because I am
miserable. "
66
Oh, fie, Miss ! " said Bessie.

The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled. I

was standing before him ; he fixed his eyes on me
very steadily ; his eyes were small and grey ; not
very bright, but I daresay I should think them
shrewd now he had a hard-featured yet good-
natured-looking face. Having considered me at
leisure, he said, " What made you ill yesterday ? "
66
She had a fall," said Bessie, again putting in her
word.

" Fall ! why, that is like a baby again ! Can't she

manage to walk at her age ? She must be eight or
nine years old. "
" I was knocked down," was the blunt explana-
tion, jerked out of me by another pang of mortified
pride ; " but that did not make me ill," I added ;
while Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.
As he was returning the box to his waistcoat-
pocket a loud bell rang for the servants' dinner ; he
29
 JANE EYRE

knew what it was. " That's for you, nurse," said he ;

66
you can go down ; I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till
you come back."

Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was

obliged to go, because punctuality at meals was
rigidly enforced at Gateshead Hall.
" The fall did not make you ill ; what did then ? "
pursued Mr. Lloyd, when Bessie was gone.
“ I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost,
till after dark."

I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same

time. " Ghost ! What, you are a baby, after all !
You are afraid of ghosts ? "
66
" Of Mr. Reed's ghost I am ; he died in that
room , and was laid out there. Neither Bessie nor

anyone else will go into it at night, if they can

help it ; and it was cruel to shut me up alone
without a candle,-so cruel, that I think I shall never
forget it. "
" Nonsense ! And is it that makes you so
miserable ? Are you afraid now in daylight ? "
"No ; but night will come again before long ;
and, besides, I am unhappy-very unhappy- for
other things . "
"What other things ? Can you tell me some of
them ? "

How much I wished to reply fully to this

question ! How difficult it was to frame any

answer ! Children can feel, but they cannot analyze

their feelings ; and if the analysis is particularly
30
 JANE EYRE

effected in thought, they know not how to express

the result of the process in words. Fearful, how-
ever, of losing this first and only opportunity of
relieving my grief by imparting it, I , after a disturbed
pause, contrived to frame a meagre, though, as far
as it went, true response.
" For one thing, I have no father or mother,
""
brothers or sisters .
" You have a kind aunt and cousins. "
Again I paused, then bunglingly enounced , -
" But John Reed knocked me down, and my aunt
shut me up in the red-room. "
Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.
" Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful
house?" asked he. " Are you not very thankful to

have such a fine place to live at ?"

" It is not my house, sir ; and Abbot says I have
less right to be here than a servant. "
" Pooh ! you can't be silly enough to wish to leave
such a splendid place ? "
" If I had anywhere else to go I should be glad to
leave it ; but I can never get away from Gateshead
99
till I am a woman.'

" Perhaps you may-who knows ? Have you any

relations besides Mrs. Reed ?"
" I think not, sir."
"None belonging to your father ? "
" I don't know. I asked Aunt Reed once, and she
said possibly I might have some poor, low relations
called Eyre, but she knew nothing about them."
31
 JANE EYRE

" If you had such, would you like to go to

them ? "
I reflected. Poverty looks grim to grown people ;
still more so to children : they have not much idea
of industrious, working, respectable poverty ; they
think of the word only as connected with ragged
clothes, scanty food, fireless grates, rude manners,
and debasing vices : poverty for me was synonymous
with degradation.
66
No ; I should not like to belong to poor people,"
was my reply.
" Not even if they were kind to you ? "
I shook my head : I could not see how poor people
had the means of being kind ; and then to learn to
speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be
uneducated, to grow up like one of the poor
women I saw sometimes nursing their children or
washing at the cottage doors of the village of Gates-
head no, I was not heroic enough to purchase
liberty at the price of caste.
" But are your relatives so very poor ? Are they
working people ? "
" I cannot tell ; Aunt Reed says if I have any, they
must be a beggarly set ; I should not like to go a-
begging. "
"Would you like to go to school ? "
Again I reflected : I scarcely knew what school
was ; Bessie sometimes spoke of it as a place where
young ladies sat in the stocks, wore back-boards, and
were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise :
32
 JANE EYRE

John Reed hated his school, and abused his master ;

but John Reed's tastes were no rule for mine , and if
Bessie's accounts of school discipline (gathered from
the young ladies of a family where she had lived
before coming to Gateshead) were somewhat appal-
ling, her details of certain accomplishments attained
by these same young ladies were, I thought, equally
attractive. She boasted of beautiful paintings of
landscapes and flowers by them executed ; of songs
they could sing and pieces they could play, of purses
they could net, of French books they could trans-
late ; till my spirit was moved to emulation as I
listened. Besides, school would be a complete

change it implied a long journey, an entire

separation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new
life.

" I should indeed like to go to school," was the

audible conclusion of my musings.
66
Well, well ; who knows what may happen ? " said
Mr. Lloyd, as he got up. " The child ought to have
change of air and scene," he added , speaking to
himself; " nerves not in a good state."
Bessie now returned ; at the same moment the
carriage was heard rolling up the gravel walk.
" Is that your mistress , nurse ? " asked Mr. Lloyd .
" I should like to speak to her before I go."
Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-
out.
room, and led the way out. In the interview which
followed between him and Mrs. Reed , I presume,
from after occurrences , that the apothecary

33 D
 JANE EYRE

ventured to recommend my being sent to school ;

and the recommendation was no doubt readily

enough adopted ; for as Abbot said, in discussing

the subject with Bessie when both sat sewing in the
nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as they
thought, asleep, " Missus was, she dared say, glad
enough to get rid of such a tiresome, ill-conditioned
child, who always looked as if she were watching
everybody, and scheming plots underhand. " Abbot,
I think, gave me credit for being a sort of infantine
Guy Fawkes.
On that same occasion I learned for the first time,
from Miss Abbot's communications to Bessie, that
my father had been a poor clergyman ; that my
mother had married him against the wishes of her
friends, who considered the match beneath her ;
that my grandfather Reed was so irritated at her
disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling ; that
after my mother and father had been married a year,
the latter caught the typhus fever while visiting
among the poor of a large manufacturing town
where his curacy was situated, and where that
disease was prevalent ; that my mother took the
infection from him , and both died within a month of
each other.
Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed
and said, " Poor Miss Jane is to be pitied, too ,
Abbot. "

" Yes," responded Abbot ; " if she were a nice,

pretty child, one might compassionate her forlorn-
34
 JANE EYRE

ness ; but one really cannot care for such a little

toad as that. "

" Not a great deal, to be sure," agreed Bessie :

" at any rate, a beauty like Miss Georgiana would be
more moving in the same condition."
"Yes , I dote on Miss Georgiana ! " cried the
fervent Abbot. "Little darling with her long

curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour as

she has ; just as if she were painted !-Bessie , I
could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper. "
፡፡
So could I- with a roast onion . Come, we'll go
down." They went.

35
 CHAPTER IV.

FROM my discourse with Mr. Lloyd , and from the

above reported conference beween Bessie and
Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a
motive for wishing to get well : a change seemed
near-I desired and waited in silence. It tarried ,
however days and weeks passed ; I had regained
my normal state of health, but no new allusion was
made to the subject over which I brooded. Mrs.
Reed surveyed me at times with a severe eye, but
seldom addressed me : since my illness she had
drawn a more marked line of separation than ever
between me and her own children, appointing me a
small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me
to take my meals alone , and pass all my time in the
nursery, while my cousins were constantly in the
drawing- room. Not a hint, however, did she drop
about sending me to school : still I felt an instinc-
tive certainty that she would not long endure me
under the same roof with her ; for her glance , now
more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an
insuperable and rooted aversion .
36
 JANE EYRE

Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to

orders, spoke to me as little as possible : John
thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw
me, and once attempted chastisement ; but as I
instantly turned against him, roused by the same
sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which
had stirred my corruption before, he thought it
better to desist, and ran from me, uttering execra-
tions, and vowing I had burst his nose. I had ,

indeed, levelled at that prominent feature as hard a

blow as my knuckles could inflict ; and when I saw
that either that or my look daunted him, I had the
greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to
purpose ; but he was already with his mamma. I

heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale

of how " that nasty Jane Eyre " had flown at him
like a mad cat : he was stopped rather harshly-
"Don't talk to me about her, John : I told you
not to go near her ; she is not worthy of notice. I
do not choose that either you or your sisters should
associate with her. "

Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out

suddenly, and without at all deliberating on my
words-

"They are not fit to associate with me. "

Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman ; but, on

hearing this strange and audacious declaration , she

ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a whirlwind
into the nursery, and, crushing me down on the
edge of my crib, dared me in an emphatic voice to
37
 JANE EYRE

rise from that place, or utter one syllable, during

the remainder of the day.
"What would Uncle Reed say to you if he were
alive ? " was my scarcely voluntary demand. I say
scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my tongue
pronounced words without my will consenting to
their utterance : something spoke out of me over
which I had no control.
"What ? " said Mrs. Reed, under her breath ; her
usually cold, composed grey eye became troubled
with a look like fear ; she took her hand from my
arm , and gazed at me as if she really did not know
whether I were child or fiend . I was now in for it.

"My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you

do and think ; and so can papa and mamma : they
know how you shut me up all day long, and how
you wish me dead."

Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits : she shook me

most soundly, she boxed both my ears, and then left
me without a word . Bessie supplied the hiatus by
a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved
beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and
abandoned child ever reared under a roof. I half
believed her ; for I felt, indeed, only bad feelings
surging in my breast.
November, December, and half of January passed
away, Christmas and the New Year had been
celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive

cheer ; presents had been interchanged, dinners and

evening parties given. From every enjoyment I
38
 JANE EYRE

was, of course, excluded : my share of the gaiety

consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza
and Georgiana, and seeing them descend to the
drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin frocks and
scarlet sashes , with hair elaborately ringleted ; and
afterwards , in listening to the sound of the piano or
the harp played below, to the passing to and fro of
the butler and footman, to the jingling of glass and
china as refreshments were handed , to the broken
hum of conversation as the drawing-room doors
opened and closed . When tired of this occupation
I would retire from the stairhead to the solitary and
silent nursery : there, though somewhat sad, I was
not miserable. To speak truth, I had not the least
wish to go into company, for in company I was very
rarely noticed ; and if Bessie had but been kind and
companionable, I should have deemed it a treat
to spend the evenings quietly with her, instead of
passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs.
Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen . But
Bessie, as soon as she had dressed her young ladies,
used to take herself off to the lively regions of the
kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing
the candle along with her. I then sat with my doll
on my knee, till the fire got low, glancing round
occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than
myself haunted the shadowy room ; and when the
embers sank to a dull red, I undressed hastily,
tugging at knots and strings as I best might, and
sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib.
39
 JANE EYRE

To this crib I always took my doll ; human beings

must love something, and, in the dearth of worthier
objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in
loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby
as a miniature scarecrow. It puzzles me now to
remember with what absurd sincerity I doted on

this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of

sensation. I could not sleep unless it was folded in
my night-gown ; and when it lay there safe and
warm , I was comparatively happy, believing it to be
happy likewise.
Long did the hours seem while I waited the
departure of the company, and listened for the
sound of Bessie's step on the stairs . Sometimes
she would come up in the interval to seek her
thimble or her scissors, or perhaps to bring me
something by way of supper-a bun or a cheese-
cake-then she would sit on the bed while I ate it,
and when I had finished, she would tuck the clothes
round me, and twice she kissed me, and said,
66
Good-night, Miss Jane." When thus gentle ,
Bessie seemed to me the best, prettiest, kindest
being in the world ; and I wished most intensely
that she would always be so pleasant and amiable,
and never push me about, or scold, or task me
unreasonably, as she was too often wont to do .
Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good
natural capacity, for she was smart in all she did,
and had a remarkable knack of narrative ; so, at

least, I judge from the impression made on me by

40
 JANE EYRE

her nursery tales . She was pretty, too, if my

recollections of her face and person are correct. I
remember her as a slim young woman, with black
hair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good , clear
complexion but she had a capricious and hasty
temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or justice ;
still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one
else at Gateshead Hall.

It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock

in the morning. Bessie was gone down to break-
fast ; my cousins had not yet been summoned to
their mamma ; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and
warm garden-coat to go and feed her poultry, an
occupation of which she was fond, and not less so
of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding
up the money she thus obtained . She had a turn

for traffic, and a marked propensity for saving ;

shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens,
but also in driving hard bargains with the gardener
about flower-roots, seeds, and slips of plants ; that
functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of
his young lady all the products of her parterre she
wished to sell and Eliza would have sold the hair
off her head if she could have made a handsome

profit thereby. As to her money, she first secreted

it in odd corners, wrapped up in a rag or an old
curl-paper ; but some of these hoards having been
discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one
day losing her valued treasure , consented to entrust
it to her mother at a usurious rate of interest-fifty
41
 JANE EYRE

or sixty per cent. -which interest she exacted every

quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with
anxious accuracy .

Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair

at the glass, and interweaving her curls with
artificial flowers and faded feathers, of which she
had found a store in a drawer in the attic . I was
making my bed, having received strict orders from
Bessie to get it arranged before she returned (for
Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of
under-nursery-maid, to tidy the room, dust the
chairs, etc. ) . Having spread the quilt and folded
my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in
order some picture-books and doll's-house furniture
scattered there ; an abrupt command from

Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny

chairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups , were
her property) stopped my proceedings ; and then ,
for lack of other occupation , I fell to breathing on
the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted,

and thus clearing a space in the glass through

which I might look out on the grounds, where
all was still and petrified under the influence of a
hard frost.

From this window were visible the porter's

lodge and the carriage-road, and just as I had
dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage
veiling the panes as left room to look out, I saw
the gates thrown open and a carriage roll through.
I watched it ascending the drive with indifference :
42
 JANE EYRE

carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever

brought visitors in whom I was interested ; it
stopped in front of the house, the door-bell rang
loudly, the new-comer was admitted . All this being
nothing to me, my vacant attention soon found
livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry

robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs of

the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near
the casement. The remains of my breakfast of
bread and milk stood on the table, and having
crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash
to put out the crumbs on the window-sill, when
Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery.
" Miss Jane, take off your pinafore : what are you
doing there ? Have you washed your hands and
face this morning ? " I gave another tug before
I answered, for I wanted the bird to be secure
of its bread : the sash yielded , I scattered the
crumbs, some on the stone sill , some on the
cherry-tree bough ; then , closing the window, I
replied-
No , Bessie ; I have only just finished dusting ."
"Troublesome, careless child !-and what are you
doing now ? You look quite red, as if you had
been about some mischief : what were you opening
the window for ? "

I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie

seemed to be in too great a hurry to listen to explana-
tions ; she hauled me to the washstand, inflicted a
merciless, but happily brief, scrub on my face and
43
 JANE EYRE

hands with soap, water, and a coarse towel ; disci-

plined my head with a bristly brush, denuded me of
my pinafore, and then, hurrying me to the top of the
stairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in
the breakfast-room .
I would have asked who wanted me : I would have
demanded if Mrs. Reed was there, but Bessie was

already gone, and had closed the nursery door

upon me : I slowly descended. For nearly three
months I had never been called to Mrs. Reed's

presence restricted so long to the nursery, the

breakfast, dining, and drawing rooms were become
for me awful regions, on which it dismayed me to
intrude .

I now stood in the empty hall ; before me was the

breakfast-room door, and I stopped, intimidated
and trembling. What a miserable little poltroon
had fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made
of me in those days ! I feared to return to the
nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour ;
ten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation : the
vehement ringing of the breakfast-room bell decided
me ; I must enter.
" Who could want me ? " I asked inwardly, as with
both hands I turned the stiff door-handle which, for
a second or two , resisted my efforts. "What should
I see beside my Aunt Reed in the apartment ?—a
man or a woman ? " The handle turned , the door
unclosed, and passing through, and curtseying low,
I looked up at a black pillar !-such, at least,
44
 JANE EYRE

appeared to me, at first sight, the straight, narrow,

sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug the
grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed,
above the shaft by way of capital.
Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside :
she made a signal to me to approach : I did so, and
she introduced me to the stony stranger, with the
words ,―
"This is the little girl respecting whom I applied
to you ."
He-for it was a man-turned his head slowly
towards where I stood, and having examined me
with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which
twinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly
and in a bass voice, -

" Her size is small ? what is her age ? "

""
"Ten years .
" So much ? " was the doubtful answer ; and he

prolonged his scrutiny for some minutes. Presently

he addressed me,-

" Your name, little girl ? "

"Jane Eyre, sir.”
In uttering these words I looked up he
seemed to me a tall gentleman, but then I was
very little his features were large, and they and
all the lines of his frame were equally harsh and
prim.
66
Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child ? "
Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative : my
little world held a contrary opinion : I was silent .
45
 JANE EYRE

Mrs. Reed answered for me by an expressive shake

of the head, adding soon, " Perhaps the less said on
that subject the better, Mr. Brocklehurst ."
"Sorry indeed to hear it ! She and I must have
some talk ; " and bending from the perpendicular,
he installed his person in the armchair opposite
Mrs. Reed's . " Come here," he said.

I stepped across the rug : he placed me square

and straight before him. What a face he had now
that it was almost on a level with mine ! what a

great nose and what a mouth ! and what large

prominent teeth !
" No sight so sad as that of a naughty child ," he
began, " especially a naughty little girl. Do you
know where the wicked go after death ? "
" They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox
answer.
" And what is hell ? Can you tell me that ? "
"A pit full of fire ."
"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to
""
be burning there for ever ?
" No , sir."
"What must you do to avoid it ? "
I deliberated a moment : my answer, when it did
come, was objectionable : " I must keep in good
health and not die ."

" How can you keep in good health ? Children

younger than you die daily. I buried a little child

of five years only a day or two since -a good little

child, whose soul is now in heaven. It is to be
46
 JANE EYRE

feared the same could not be said of you, were you

to be called hence."

Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I

only cast my eyes down on the two large feet planted
on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far enough

away .
" I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you
repent of ever having been the occasion of discom-
fort to your excellent benefactress. "
" Benefactress ! benefactress ! " said I inwardly :
66
they all call Mrs. Reed my benefactress ; if so, a
benefactress is a disagreeable thing."
" Do you say your prayers night and morning ? "
continued my interrogator.
Yes, sir. "
" Do you read your Bible ? "
" Sometimes ."

"With pleasure ? Are you fond of it ? "

" I like Revelation, and the Book of Daniel, and
Genesis , and Samuel, and a little bit of Exodus, and
some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job, and
Jonah."

" And the Psalms ? I hope you like them ? "

66
No , sir."
"No ? Oh, shocking ! I have a little boy, younger
than you, who knows six Psalms by heart : and when
you ask him which he would rather have, a ginger-
bread nut to eat, or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he
says : ' Oh ! the verse of a Psalm ! angels sing
Psalms ,' says he ; ' I wish to be a little angel here
47
 JANE EYRE

below.' He then gets two nuts in recompense for

his infant piety."
" Psalms are not interesting," I remarked .
"That proves you have a wicked heart ; and you
must pray to God to change it : to give you a new
and clean one : to take away your heart of stone
and give you a heart of flesh."
I was about to propound a question touching
the manner in which that operation of changing
my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed

interposed, telling me to sit down ; she then pro-

ceeded to carry on the conversation herself.
" Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the
letter which I wrote to you three weeks ago, that
this little girl has not quite the character and disposi-
tion I could wish : should you admit her into Lowood
School, I should be glad if the superintendent and
teachers were requested to keep a strict eye on her,
and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a
tendency to deceit. I mention this in your hearing,
Jane, that you may not attempt to impose on Mr.
Brocklehurst ."

Well might I dread, well might I dislike, Mrs.

Reed ; for it was her nature to wound me cruelly ;
never was I happy in her presence : however

carefully I obeyed, however strenuously I strove to

please her, my efforts were still repulsed, and repaid
by such sentences as the above. Now, uttered
before a stranger, the accusation cut me to the
heart I dimly perceived that she was already
48
 JANE EYRE

obliterating hope from the new phase of existence

which she destined me to enter ; I felt, though I

could not have expressed the feeling, that she was

sowing aversion and unkindness along my future
path ; I saw myself transformed, under Mr. Brockle-
hurst's eye, into an artful, noxious child, and what
could I do to remedy the injury ?
" Nothing, indeed," thought I, as I struggled to
repress a sob, and hastily wiped away some tears ,
the impotent evidences of my anguish.
"Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child," said
Mr. Brocklehurst ; " it is akin to falsehood, and
all liars will have their portion in the lake burning
with fire and brimstone : she shall, however, be
watched, Mrs. Reed . I will speak to Miss Temple
and the teachers."
" I should wish her to be brought up in a manner
suiting to her prospects," continued my bene-
factress ; " to be made useful, to be kept humble.
As for the vacations, she will, with your permission,
spend them always at Lowood."
"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,"
returned Mr. Brocklehurst. " Humility is a Chris-
tian grace, and one peculiarly appropriate to the
pupils of Lowood ; I, therefore, direct that special
care shall be bestowed on its cultivation among
them. I have studied how best to mortify in them
the worldly sentiment of pride, and, only the other
day, I had a pleasing proof of my success . My
second daughter, Augusta, went with her mamma
49 E
 JANE EYRE

to visit the school, and on her return she exclaimed,

' Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls
at Lowood look ; with their hair combed behind
their ears, and their long pinafores, and those little
holland pockets outside their frocks-they are almost
like poor people's children ! and,' said she, ' they
looked at my dress, and mamma's, as if they had
never seen a silk gown before." "
"This is the state of things I quite approve ,"
returned Mrs. Reed. " Had I sought all England
over, I could scarcely have found a system more
exactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre. Consistency,
my dear Mr. Brocklehurst-I advocate consistency
in all things ."
"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian
duties, and it has been observed in every arrange-
ment connected with the establishment at Lowood :

plain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accom-

modations , hardy and active habits ; such is the
order of the day in the house and its inhabitants ."
66 Quite right, sir. I may then depend upon

this child being received as a pupil at Lowood,

and there being trained in conformity to her
position and prospects ."
" Madam , you may she shall be placed in that
nursery of chosen plants-and I trust she will
show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege
of her election."
" I will send her, then, as soon as possible , Mr.
Brocklehurst : for, I assure you, I feel anxious to
50
 JANE EYRE

be relieved of a responsibility that was becoming

too irksome."
"No doubt, no doubt, madam. And now I wish
you good morning . I shall return to Brocklehurst
Hall in the course of a week or two : my good
friend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to
leave him sooner. I shall send Miss Temple

notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that

there will be no difficulty about receiving her.
Good-bye."
" Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst ; remember me to
Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst, and to Augusta and
Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst."
" I will, madam. Little girl, here is a book
entitled the Childs Guide ; read it with prayer,
6
especially that part containing an account of the
awfully sudden death of Martha G-, a naughty
999
child, addicted to falsehood and deceit.'
With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my
hand a thin pamphlet, sewn in a cover, and, having
rung for his carriage, he departed.
Mrs. Reed and I were left alone : some minutes
passed in silence : she was sewing, I was watching
her. Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six
or seven and thirty ; she was a woman of robust
frame, square-shouldered and strong-limbed, not
tall, and, though stout, not obese : she had a some-
what large face, the under-jaw being much
developed and very solid ; her brow was low, her
chin large and prominent, mouth and nose suffi-
51
 JANE EYRE

ciently regular ; under her light eyebrows glimmered

an eye devoid of truth ; her skin was dark and
opaque, her hair nearly flaxen ; her constitution
was sound as a bell ; illness never came near her ;
she was an exact, clever manager, her household
and tenantry were thoroughly under her control ;
her children only, at times, defied her authority
and laughed it to scorn ; she dressed well, and had
a presence and port calculated to set off handsome
attire.

Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-

chair, I examined her figure ; I perused her features.
In my hand I held the tract containing the sudden
death of the Liar : to which narrative my attention
had been pointed as to an appropriate warning.
What had just passed ; what Mrs. Reed had said
concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst ; the whole tenor
of their conversation was recent, raw, and stinging
in my mind ; I had felt every word as acutely as
I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment
fomented now within me.

Mrs. Reed looked up from her work : her eye

settled on mine, her fingers at the same time sus-
pended their nimble movements.
"Go out of the room ; return to the nursery, " was

her mandate. My look or something else must have

struck her as offensive, for she spoke with extreme
though suppressed irritation . I got up ; I went
to the door ; I came back again ; I walked to the
window, across the room , then close up to her.
52
 JANE EYRE

Speak I must : I had been trodden on severely,

and must turn : but how ? What strength had I to
dart retaliation at my antagonist ? I gathered my
energies and launched them in this blunt sentence-
" I am not deceitful : if I were, I should say I
loved you ; but I declare I do not love you : I dis-

like you the worst of anybody in the world except

John Reed ; and this book about the Liar you may
give to your girl, Georgiana, for it is she who tells
lies, and not I."

Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive :

her eye of ice still continued to dwell freezingly on
mine.

"What more have you to say ? " she asked, rather

in the tone in which a person might address an
opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily used
to a child.

That eye of hers, that voice , stirred every antipathy

I had. Shaking from head to foot, thrilled with un-
governable excitement, I continued,-
" I am glad you are no relation of mine. I will
never call you aunt again as long as I live . I will
never come to see you when I am grown up ; and if
any one asks me how I liked you, and how you
treated me , I will say the very thought of you makes
me sick, and that you treated me with miserable
cruelty. "
" How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre ? "
" How dare I , Mrs. Reed ? How dare I ? Because
it is the truth. You think I have no feelings, and
53
 JANE EYRE

that I can do without one bit of love or kindness ;

but I cannot live so and you have no pity. I shall
remember how you thrust me back- roughly and
violently thrust me back-into the red-room , and
locked me up there, to my dying day, though I was
in agony, though I cried out, while suffocating with
distress, ' Have mercy ! Have mercy, Aunt Reed ! '
And that punishment you made me suffer because
your wicked boy struck me-knocked me down for
nothing. I will tell anybody who asks me questions
this exact tale. People think you a good
woman, but you are bad, hard-hearted. You are
deceitful ! "

Ere I had finished this reply my soul began to

expand, to exult, with the strangest sense offreedom,
of triumph, I ever felt. It seemed as if an invisible
bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into
unhoped-for liberty. Not without cause was this
sentiment ; Mrs. Reed looked frightened ; her work
had slipped from her knee ; she was lifting up her
hands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting
her face as if she would cry.
"Jane, you are under a mistake. What is the

matter with you ? Why do you tremble so violently ?

Would you like to drink some water ?"
"No, Mrs. Reed."

" Is there anything else you wish for, Jane ? I

assure you, I desire to be your friend."

" Not you. You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a

bad character, a deceitful disposition ; and I'll let
54
 JANE EYRE

everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what

you have done."
66
Jane, you don't understand these things ; chil-
dren must be corrected for their faults ."
" Deceit is not my fault ! " I cried out in a savage,
high voice .
" But you are passionate, Jane, that you must
allow ; and now return to the nursery-there's a
dear-and lie down a little. "
" I am not your dear ; I cannot lie down. Send
me to school soon, Mrs. Reed, for I hate to live here."
" I will indeed send her to school soon," murmured
Mrs. Reed sotto voce ; and, gathering up her work,
she abruptly quitted the apartment.
I was left there alone- winner of the field. It
was the hardest battle I had fought, and the first
victory I had gained. I stood awhile on the rug,
where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my

conqueror's solitude. First, I smiled to myself and

felt elate ; but this fierce pleasure subsided in me as
fast as did the accelerated throb of my pulses. A child
cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done ;
cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as
I had given mine ; without experiencing afterwards
the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction . A

ridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring,

would have been a meet emblem of my mind when I
accused and menaced Mrs. Reed : the same ridge,
black and blasted after the flames are dead, would
have represented as meetly my subsequent condition ,
55
 JANE EYRE

when half an hour's silence and reflection had shown

me the madness of my conduct, and the dreariness
of my hated and hating position.
Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first
time. As aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing ,
warm and racy ; its after flavour, metallic and corrod-
ing, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.
Willingly would I now have gone and asked Mrs.
Reed's pardon ; but I knew, partly from experience
and partly from instinct, that was the way to make
her repulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting
every turbulent impulse of my nature.
I would fain exercise some better faculty than that
of fierce speaking ; fain find nourishment for some
less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation.
I took a book-some Arabian tales ; I sat down and
endeavoured to read. I could make no sense of the
subject ; my own thoughts swam always between me
and the page I had usually found fascinating. I
opened the glass -door in the breakfast-room the
shrubbery was quite still the black frost reigned,
unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds . I
covered my head and arms with the skirt of my
frock, and went out to walk in a part of the planta-
tion which was quite sequestered : but I found no
pleasure in the silent trees , the falling fir-cones, the
congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept by
past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together. I
leaned against a gate, and looked into an empty field
where no sheep were feeding, where the short grass
56
 JANE EYRE

was nipped and blanched . It was a very grey day ;

a most opaque sky, " onding on snaw," canopied all ;
then flakes fell at intervals, which settled on the hard
path and on the hoary lea without melting. I stood,
a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over
and over again. "What shall I do ?-what shall
I do ? "
All at once I heard a clear voice call, " Miss Jane !
where are you ? Come to lunch ! "
It was Bessie, I knew well enough ; but I did not
stir. Her light step came tripping down the path.
66
" You naughty little thing ! " she said. Why
don't you come when you are called ? "
Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts
over which I had been brooding, seemed cheerful,
even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross.
The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over
Mrs. Reed, I was not disposed to care much for the
nursemaid's transitory anger ; and I was disposed to
bask in her youthful lightness of heart. I just put
my two arms round her, and said, " Come, Bessie !
don't scold ! "
The action was more frank and fearless than any I

was habituated to indulge in. Somehow, it pleased

her.

" You are a strange child, Miss Jane ," she said, as
she looked down at me ; " a little roving, solitary

thing. And you are going to school, I suppose ? "

I nodded.
""
" And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie ?

57
 JANE EYRE

"What does Bessie care for me ? She is always

scolding me."
"Because you're such a queer, frightened , shy
little thing. You should be bolder. "
"What ! to get more knocks ! "
" Nonsense ! But you are rather put upon, that's
certain. My mother said, when she came to see me
last week, that she would not like a little one of her
own to be in your place. Now, come in, and I've
some good news for you."
" I don't think you have, Bessie."
" Child ! What do you mean ? What sorrowful

eyes you fix on me ! Well, but Missis and the young

ladies and Master John are going out to tea this
afternoon, and you shall have tea with me. I'll ask

cook to bake you a little cake, and then you shall

help me to look over your drawers, for I am soon to
pack your trunks , Missis intends you to leave Gates-
head in a day or two, and you shall choose what toys
you like to take with you ."
" Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any
more till I go." -
"Well, I will ; but mind you are a very good girl,
and don't be afraid of me. Don't start when I
chance to speak rather sharply ; it's so provoking."
" I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again,
Bessie, because I have got used to you ; and I shall
soon have another set of people to dread."
"If you dread them , they'll dislike you."
" As you do, Bessie ? "
58
 JANE EYRE

" I don't dislike you , Miss ; I believe I am fonder

of you than of all the others."
"You don't show it."
" You little sharp thing ! you've got quite a new
way of talking. What makes you so venturesome
and hardy ? "
"Why, I shall soon be away from you, and
besides— " I was going to say something about
what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed ; but on
second thoughts I considered it better to remain
silent on that head.

" And so you're glad to leave me ? "

" Not at all, Bessie ; indeed, just now I am rather
sorry. "
" Just now ! and rather ! How coolly my little

lady says it ! I daresay now if I were to ask you for

a kiss you wouldn't give it me ; you'd say you'd
rather not."

" I'll kiss you and welcome ; bend your head

down." Bessie stooped ; we mutually embraced , and
I followed her into the house quite comforted .
That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony ; and
in the evening Bessie told me some of her most
enchaining stories, and sang me some of her
sweetest songs. Even for me, life had its gleams of
sunshine.

59
 CHAPTER V.

FIVE o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of

the 19th of January, when Bessie brought a candle
into my closet and found me already up and nearly
dressed. I had risen half an hour before her entrance,

and had washed my face, and put on my clothes by

the light of a half-moon just setting, whose rays
streamed through the narrow window near my crib.
I was to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which
passed the lodge gates at six a.m. Bessie was the

only person yet risen ; she had lit a fire in the

nursery, where she now proceeded to make my
breakfast. Few children can eat when excited with

the thoughts of a journey ; nor could I. Bessie,

having pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of
the boiled milk and bread she had prepared for me,
wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and put them
into my bag ; then she helped me on with my pelisse
and bonnet, and, wrapping herself in a shawl, she
and I left the nursery. As we passed Mrs. Reed's
bedroom, she said, " Will you go in and bid Missis
good-bye ? "
60
 JANE EYRE

" No , Bessie ; she came to my crib last night

when you were gone down to supper, and said I

need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins
either ; and she told me to remember that she had

always been my best friend, and to speak of her

and be grateful to her accordingly."
" What did you say, Miss ? "
" Nothing ; I covered my face with the bedclothes ,
and turned from her to the wall."
" That was wrong, Miss Jane."
" It was quite right, Bessie ; your Missis has not
been my friend ; she has been my foe."
66
Oh, Miss Jane ! don't say so ! ”
"Good-bye to Gateshead ! " cried I, as we passed
through the hall and went out at the front door.
The moon was set, and it was very dark ; Bessie
carried a lantern, whose light glanced on wet steps
and gravel road sodden by a recent thaw. Raw and
chill was the winter morning : my teeth chattered as
I hastened down the drive. There was a light in
the porter's lodge ; when we reached it, we found
the porter's wife just kindling her fire ; my trunk,
which had been carried down the evening before,
stood corded at the door. It wanted but a few

minutes of six, and shortly after that hour had

struck the distant roll of wheels announced the
coming coach ; I went to the door and watched its
lamps approach rapidly through the gloom .
" Is she going by herself ? " asked the porter's
wife.
61
 JANE EYRE

" Yes."
" And how far is it ? "
Fifty miles."

"What a long way ! I wonder Mrs. Reed is not

afraid to trust her so far alone."

The coach drew up ; there it was at the gates with

its four horses , and its top laden with passengers ;
the guard and coachman loudly urged haste ; my
trunk was hoisted up ; I was taken from Bessie's
neck, to which I clung with kisses.
" Be sure and take good care of her," cried she to
the guard, as he lifted me into the inside.
" Ay, ay ! " was the answer ; the door was slapped
to, a voice exclaimed , " All right," and on we drove.
Thus was I severed from Bessie and Gateshead ;
thus whirled away to unknown, and, as I then
deemed, remote and mysterious regions.
I remember but little of the journey ; I only know
that the day seemed to me of a preternatural length,
and that we appeared to travel over hundreds of
miles of road. We passed through several towns,
and in one, a very large one, the coach stopped ;
the horses were taken out, and the passengers
alighted to dine. I was carried into an inn , where
the guard wanted me to have some dinner ; but, as
I had no appetite, he left me in an immense room
with a fireplace at each end, a chandelier pendant
from the ceiling, and a little red gallery high up
against the wall, filled with musical instruments.
Here I walked about for a long time, feeling very
62
 JANE EYRE

strange, and mortally apprehensive of some one

coming in and kidnapping me ; for I believed in
kidnappers ; their exploits having frequently figured
in Bessie's fireside chronicles. At last the guard
returned : once more I was stowed away in the
coach, my protector mounted his own seat, sounded
his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the " stony
street " of L—.

The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty :

as it waned into dusk, I began to feel that we were
getting very far indeed from Gateshead : we ceased
to pass through towns ; the country changed ; great
grey hills heaved up round the horizon. As twilight

deepened , we descended a valley, dark with wood,

and long after night had overclouded the prospect,
I heard a wild wind rushing amongst trees .
Lulled by the sound I at last dropped asleep : I
had not long slumbered when the sudden cessation
of motion awoke me ; the coach door was open, and
a person like a servant was standing at it : I saw her
face and dress by the light of the lamps.
" Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here ? " she
asked. I answered " Yes," and was then lifted out ;
my trunk was handed down, and the coach instantly
drove away.

I was stiff with long sitting, and bewildered with

the noise and motion of the coach ; gathering my
faculties, I looked about me. Rain, wind, and
darkness filled the air ; nevertheless , I dimly dis-
cerned a wall before me and a door open in it ;
63
 JANE EYRE

through this door I passed with my new guide : she

shut and locked it behind her. There was now
visible a house or houses -for the building spread

far-with many windows, and lights burning in

some ; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing
wet, and were admitted at a door ; then the servant
led me through a passage into a room with a fire,
where she left me alone.

I stood and warmed my numbed fingers over

the blaze , then I looked round ; there was no
candle, but the uncertain light from the hearth
showed, by intervals , papered walls , carpets ,
curtain, shining mahogany furniture : it was a
parlour, not as spacious or splendid as the
drawing-room at Gateshead, but comfortable

enough. I was puzzling to make out the subject

of a picture on the wall, when the door opened,
and an individual carrying a light entered ; another
followed close behind.

The first was a tall lady with dark hair, dark

eyes, and a pale and large forehead ; her figure
was partly enveloped in a shawl, her countenance
was grave, her bearing erect .
" The child is very young to be sent alone, " said
she, putting her candle down on the table . She
considered me attentively for a minute or two, then
further added-

" She had better be put to bed soon ; she looks

tired. Are you tired ? " she asked, placing her hand
on my shoulder.
64
 JANE EYRE

" A little, ma'am."

" And hungry, too , no doubt : let her have some
supper before she goes to bed, Miss Miller. Is this

the first time you have left your parents to come to

school, my little girl ? "
I explained to her that I had no parents. She
inquired how long they had been dead ; then how
old I was, what was my name, whether I could read,
write, and sew a little : then she touched my cheek
gently with her forefinger, and saying, " She hoped
I should be a good child," dismissed me along with
Miss Miller.

The lady I had left might be about twenty-nine ;

the one who went with me appeared some years
younger : the first impressed me by her voice , look,
and air. Miss Miller was more ordinary ; ruddy in
complexion, though of a careworn countenance ;
hurried in gait and action, like one who had always
a multiplicity of tasks on hand : she looked, indeed,
what I afterwards found she really was, an under-
teacher. Led by her I passed from compartment
to compartment, from passage to passage, of a
large and irregular building ; till, emerging from
the total and somewhat dreary silence pervading
that portion of the house we had traversed, we
came upon the hum of many voices, and presently
entered a wide, long room, with great deal tables ,
two at each end, on each of which burnt a pair of
candles, and seated all round on benches, a con-
gregation of girls of every age, from nine or ten to
65 F
 JANE EYRE

twenty. Seen by the dim light of the dips , their

number to me appeared countless, though not in
reality exceeding eighty ; they were uniformly
dressed in brown stuff frocks of quaint fashion,
and long holland pinafores. It was the hour of
study ; they were engaged in conning over their
to-morrow's task, and the hum I had heard was
the combined result of their whispered repetitions.
Miss Miller signed to me to sit on a bench near
the door, then walking up to the top of the long
room, she cried out,-
66
Monitors, collect the lesson-books and put them
away ! "
Four tall girls arose from different tables, and
going round, gathered the books and removed them.
Miss Miller again gave the word of command, -
66
Monitors , fetch the supper-trays ! "
The tall girls went out and returned presently,
each bearing a tray, with portions of something,
I knew not what, arranged thereon, and a pitcher of
water and mug in the middle of each tray. The
portions were handed round ; those who liked took
a draught of the water, the mug being common to
all. When it came to my turn , I drank, for I was
thirsty, but did not touch the food, excitement and
fatigue rendering me incapable of eating : I now
saw, however, that it was a thin oaten cake, shared
into fragments .
The meal over, prayers were read by Miss Miller,
and the classes filed off, two and two, upstairs.
66
 JANE EYRE

Overpowered by this time with weariness, I scarcely

noticed what sort of a place the bedroom was ;
except that, like the schoolroom, I saw it was very
long. To-night I was to be Miss Miller's bed-

fellow ; she helped me to undress ; when laid down

I glanced at the long rows of beds, each of which
was quickly filled with two occupants ; in ten
minutes the single light was extinguished ; amidst
silence and complete darkness I fell asleep .
The night passed rapidly : I was too tired even
to dream ; I only once awoke to hear the wind rave
in furious gusts, and the rain fall in torrents, and to
be sensible that Miss Miller had taken her place
by my side. When I again unclosed my eyes, a
loud bell was ringing ; the girls were up and
dressing ; day had not yet begun to dawn, and a
rushlight or two burnt in the room. I too rose
reluctantly ; it was bitter cold, and I dressed as
well as I could for shivering, and washed when
there was a basin at liberty, which did not occur
soon, as there was but one basin to six girls , on
the stands down the middle of the room. Again
the bell rang : all formed in file, two and two, and
in that order descended the stairs and entered

the cold and dimly-lit schoolroom : here prayers

were read by Miss Miller ; afterwards she called
out,—
"Form classes ! "
A great tumult succeeded for some minutes,
during which Miss Miller repeatedly exclaimed
67
 JANE EYRE

" Silence ! " and " Order ! " When it subsided , I

saw them all drawn up in four semicircles , before

four chairs, placed at the four tables ; all held
books in their hands, and a great book, like a
Bible, lay on each table, before the vacant seat.
A pause of some seconds succeeded, filled up by
the low, vague hum of numbers ; Miss Miller

walked from class to class hushing this indefinite

sound.

A distant bell tinkled : immediately three ladies

entered the room, each walked to a table and took her
seat ; Miss Miller assumed the fourth vacant chair,
which was that nearest the door, and around which
the smallest of the children were assembled : to this

inferior class I was called, and placed at the bottom

of it.

Business now began : the day's Collect was re-

peated, then certain texts of Scripture were said, and
to these succeeded a protracted reading of chapters
in the Bible, which lasted an hour. By the time that
exercise was terminated , day had fully dawned. The
indefatigable bell now sounded for the fourth time :
the classes were marshalled and marched into

another room to breakfast. How glad I was to be-

hold a prospect of getting something to eat ! I was
now nearly sick from inanition, having taken so little
the day before.
The refectory was a great, low- ceiled, gloomy room ;
on two long tables smoked basins of something hot,
which, however, to my dismay, sent forth an odour
68
 JANE EYRE

far from inviting. I saw a universal manifestation of

discontent when the fumes of the repast met the
nostrils of those destined to swallow it ; from the van

of the procession , the tall girls of the first class , rose

the whispered words :-
66
'Disgusting ! The porridge is burnt again ! "
Silence ! " ejaculated a voice ; not that of Miss
Miller, but one of the upper teachers, a little and dark
personage, smartly dressed, but of somewhat morose

aspect, who installed herself at the top of one table,

while a more buxom lady presided at the other. I
looked in vain for her I had first seen the night

before ; she was not visible : Miss Miller occupied the

foot of the table where I sat, and a strange, foreign-

looking, elderly lady, the French teacher, as I after-

wards found, took the corresponding seat at the other
board. A long grace was said and a hymn sung ;
then a servant brought in some tea for the teachers ,
and the meal began.
Ravenous , and now very faint, I devoured a spoon-
ful or two of my portion without thinking of its taste ;
but the first edge of hunger blunted , I perceived I
had got in hand a nauseous mess : burnt porridge is
almost as bad as rotten potatoes ; famine itself soon
sickens over it. The spoons were moved slowly: I saw
each girl taste her food and try to swallow it ; but in
most cases the effort was soon relinquished. Break-
fast was over, and none had breakfasted. Thanks
having been returned for what we had not got, and a
second hymn chanted, the refectory was evacuated
69
 JANE EYRE

for the schoolroom. I was one of the last to go out,

and in passing the tables , I saw one teacher take a

basin of porridge and taste it ; she looked at the
others ; all their countenances expressed displeasure ,
and one of them, the stout one, whispered :-
"Abominable stuff ! How shameful ! "

A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again

began, during which the schoolroom was in a glorious
tumult ; for that space of time, it seemed to be per-
mitted to talk loud and more freely, and they used
their privilege . The whole conversation ran on the
breakfast, which one and all abused roundly. Poor
things ! it was the sole consolation they had. Miss
Miller was now the only teacher in the room : a group
of great girls standing about her spoke with serious
and sullen gestures. I heard the name of Mr.
Brocklehurst pronounced by some lips, at which
Miss Miller shook her head disapprovingly ; but she
made no great effort to check the general wrath ;
doubtless she shared in it.
A clock in the schoolroom struck nine ; Miss Miller
left her circle, and, standing in the middle of the
room , cried, —
"Silence ! To your seats ! "
Discipline prevailed : in five minutes the confused
throng was resolved into order, and comparative
silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues. The
upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts ;
but still, all seemed to wait. Ranged on benches
down the sides of the room, the eighty girls sat
7༠
 JANE EYRE

motionless and erect : a quaint assemblage they ap-

peared, all with plain locks combed from their faces ,
not a curl visible ; in brown dresses, made high, and
surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,
with little pockets of holland (shaped something like
a Highlander's purse) tied in front of their frocks ,
and destined to serve the purpose of a work -bag : all
too wearing woollen stockings and country-made
shoes, fastened with brass buckles. Above twenty

of those clad in this costume were full-grown girls , or

rather young women ; it suited them ill, and gave an

air of oddity even to the prettiest.

I was still looking at them , and also at intervals
examining the teachers-none of whom precisely
pleased me for the stout one was a little coarse, the
dark one not a little fierce , the foreigner harsh and
grotesque , and Miss Miller, poor thing ! looked
purple , weather -beaten , and over-worked - when, as
my eye wandered from face to face , the whole school

rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common

spring.
What was the matter ? I had heard no order

given : I was puzzled . Ere I had gathered my wits

the classes were again seated : but, as all eyes were
now turned to one point, mine followed the general
direction, and encountered the personage who had
received me last night. She stood at the bottom of
the long room , on the hearth , for there was a fire at

each end : she surveyed the two rows of girls silently

and gravely. Miss Miller, approaching , seemed to
71
 JANE EYRE

ask her a question, and, having received her answer,

went back to her place, and said aloud,
" Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes ! "
While the direction was being executed, the lady
consulted moved slowly up the room. I suppose I have
a considerable organ of Veneration , for I retain yet the
sense of admiring awe with which my eyes traced
her steps. Seen now, in broad daylight , she looked
tall, fair, and shapely ; brown eyes, with a benignant
light in their irises, and a fine pencilling of long lashes
round, relieved the whiteness of her large front ; on
each of her temples her hair, of a very dark brown,
was clustered in round curls, according to the fashion
of those times, when neither smooth bands nor long
ringlets were in vogue ; her dress, also in the mode
of the day, was of purple cloth, relieved by a sort of
Spanish trimming of black velvet ; a gold watch
(watches were not so common then as now) shone at
her girdle. Let the reader add, to complete the
picture, refined features, a complexion, if pale, clear ;
and a stately air and carriage, and he will have , at
least as clearly as words can give it, a correct idea of
the exterior of Miss Temple-Maria Temple , as I
afterwards saw the name written in a prayer- book
entrusted to me to carry to church.
The superintendent of Lowood (for such was the
lady) having taken her seat before a pair of globes,
placed on one of the tables, summoned the first class
round her, and commenced giving a lesson in
geography ; the lower classes were called by the
72
 JANE EYRE

teachers . Repetitions in history, grammar, etc. ,

went on for an hour ; writing and arithmetic suc-

ceeded, and music lessons were given by Miss
Temple to some of the elder girls. The duration of
each lesson was measured by the clock, which at last
struck twelve. The superintendent rose :-
" I have a word to address to the pupils," said
she.
The tumult of cessation from lessons was already
breaking forth, but it sank at her voice. She went
on, -

" You had this morning a breakfast which you

could not eat : you must be hungry :-I have ordered
that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served to
all."
The teachers looked at her with a sort of surprise.
" It is to be done on my responsibility," she added,
in an explanatory tone to them, and immediately
afterwards left the room.

The bread and cheese was presently brought in

and distributed, to the high delight and refreshment
of the whole school. The order was now given, " To
the garden." Each put on a coarse straw bonnet,
with strings of coloured calico, and a cloak of grey
frieze. I was similarly equipped, and, following the
stream, I made my way into the open air.
The garden was a wide enclosure, surrounded
with walls so high as to exclude every glimpse of
prospect ; a covered verandah ran down one side,
and broad walks bordered a middle space divided
73
 JANE EYRE

into scores of little beds : these beds were assigned

as gardens for the pupils to cultivate, and each bed
had an owner. When full of flowers they would

doubtless look pretty ; but, now, at the latter end of

January, all was wintry blight and brown decay. I
shuddered as I stood and looked round me : it was

an inclement day for out-door exercise ; not posi-

tively rainy, but darkened by a drizzling yellow fog ;
all underfoot was still soaking wet with the floods of
yesterday. The stronger among the girls ran about
and engaged in active games , but sundry pale and
thin ones herded together for shelter and warmth
in the verandah ; and amongst these, as the dense
mist penetrated to their shivering frames, I heard
frequently the sound of a hollow cough .
As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody
seem to take notice of me ; I stood lonely enough :
but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed ; it
did not oppress me much. I leant against a pillar
of the verandah, drew my grey mantle close about
me, and, trying to forget the cold which nipped me
without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed
me within, delivered myself up to the employment
of watching and thinking. My reflections were too
undefined and fragmentary to merit record : I
hardly yet knew where I was ; Gateshead and my
past life seemed floated away to an immeasurable
distance ; the present was vague and strange, and
of the future I could form no conjecture. I looked
round the convent-like garden, and then up at the
74
 JANE EYRE

house ; a large building, half of which seemed grey

and old, the other half quite new. The new part ,

containing the schoolroom and dormitory, was lit

by mullioned and latticed windows, which gave it a
church-like aspect. A stone tablet over the door
bore this inscription :-

" Lowood Institution. This portion was rebuilt

A.D. by Naomi Brocklehurst, of Brocklehurst
Hall, in this county. Let your light so shine before
men, that they may see your good works, and glorify
your Father which is in heaven. ' St. Matt. v. 16."
I read these words over and over again I felt

that an explanation belonged to them, and was

unable fully to penetrate their import. I was still
pondering the signification of " Institution ," and
endeavouring to make out a connection between the
first words and the verse of Scripture, when the
sound of a cough close behind me, made me turn my
head. I saw a girl sitting on a stone bench near.
She was bent over a book, on the perusal of which
she seemed intent.From where I stood I could see
the title it was Rasselas-a name that struck me

as strange, and consequently attractive. In turning

a leaf she happened to look up, and I said to her
directly :-
" Is your book interesting ? " I had already formed
the intention of asking her to lend it to me some
day.
"I like it," she answered after a pause of a second
or two, during which she examined me.
75
 JANE EYRE

"What is it about ? " I continued. I hardly know

where I found the hardihood thus to open a conver-

sation with a stranger. The step was contrary to

my nature and habits ; but I think her occupations
touched a chord of sympathy somewhere ; for I, too ,
liked reading, though of a frivolous and childish
kind ; I could not digest or comprehend the serious
or substantial.

"You may look at it," replied the girl , offering me

the book.
I did so ; a brief examination convinced me that
the contents were less taking than the title : Rasselas
looked dull to my trifling taste ; I saw nothing
about fairies, nothing about genii ; no bright variety
seemed spread over the closely- printed pages. I
returned it to her ; she received it quietly, and,
without saying anything, she was about to relapse
into her former studious mood. Again I ventured to
disturb her :-

" Can you tell me what the writing on that stone

over the door means ? What is Lowood Institu-
tion ? "

" This house where you are come to live."

"And why do they call it Institution ? Is it in
any way different from other schools ? "
" It is partly a charity-school : you and I, and all
the rest of us , are charity-children. I suppose you
are an orphan. Are not either your father or your
mother dead ?"
" Both died before I can remember."
76
 JANE EYRE
66
Well, all the girls here have lost either one or
both parents, and this is called an institution for
educating orphans."
" Do we pay no money ? Do they keep us for
nothing ? "
"We pay, or our friends pay, fifteen pounds a
year for each."

" Then why do they call us charity- children ? "

" Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board
and teaching, and the deficiency is supplied by
subscriptions ."
" Who subscribes ? "
" Different benevolent-minded ladies and gentle-
men in this neighbourhood and in London."
" Who was Naomi Brocklehurst ? "

" The lady who built the new part of this house,
as that tablet records, and whose son overlooks and
directs everything here."
66
Why ? "
"Because he is treasurer and manager of the
establishment."
" Then this house does not belong to that tall
lady who wears a watch, and who said we were to
have some bread and cheese."

"To Miss Temple ? Oh, no ! I wish it did. She

has to answer to Mr. Brocklehurst for all she does .

Mr. Brocklehurst buys all our food and all our

clothes."
"Does he live here ? "

"No-two miles off, at a large hall."

77
 JANE EYRE

"Is he a good man ? "

" He is a clergyman , and is said to do a great deal
ofgood."
"Did you say that tall lady was called Miss
""
Temple ?
" Yes."
" And what are the other teachers called ? "
"The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith ;
she attends to the work, and cuts out for we
make our own clothes, our frocks , and pelisses , and
everything ; the little one with black hair is Miss
Scatcherd ; she teaches history and grammar, and
hears the second class repetitions ; and the one
who wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief
tied to her side with a yellow riband, is Madame
Pierrot ; she comes from Lisle, in France, and
teaches French."

" Do you like the teachers ? "

"Well enough ."

" Do you like the little black one, and the

Madame ? I cannot pronounce her name as you
do. "

" Miss Scatcherd is hasty—you must take care not

to offend her ; Madame Pierrot is not a bad sort of
person. "
" But Miss Temple is the best- isn't she ? "
" Miss Temple is very good, and very clever ; she
is above the rest, because she knows far more than
they do."
" Have you been long here ?
78
 JANE EYRE

" Two years ."

""
" Are you an orphan ?
66
My mother is dead."
" Are you happy here ? "
" You ask rather too many questions. I have
given you answers enough for the present. Now I
want to read."
But at that moment the summons sounded for
dinner : all re-entered the house. The odour

which now filled the refectory was scarcely more

appetizing than that which had regaled our nostrils
at breakfast . The dinner was served in two huge
tin-plated vessels, whence rose a strong steam
redolent of rancid fat. I found the mess to consist
of indifferent potatoes and strange shreds of rusty
meat, mixed and cooked together. Of this prepara-
tion a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned
to each pupil. I ate what I could, and wondered
within myself whether every day's fare would be
like this .

After dinner, we immediately adjourned to the

schoolroom lessons recommenced, and were con-
tinued till five o'clock.
The only marked event of the afternoon was that
I saw the girl with whom I had conversed in the
verandah, dismissed in disgrace, by Miss Scatcherd,
from a history class, and sent to stand in the middle
of the large schoolroom. The punishment seemed
to me in a high degree ignominious, especially for so
great a girl- she looked thirteen or upwards. I
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 JANE EYRE

expected she would show signs of great distress and

shame ; but to my surprise she neither wept nor
blushed. Composed, though grave, she stood, the
central mark of all eyes. " How can she bear it so

quietly so firmly ? " I asked of myself. " Were I

in her place, it seems to me I should wish the earth
to open and swallow me up. She looks as if she
were thinking of something beyond her punishment
-beyond her situation ; of something not round
her nor before her. I have heard of day-dreams-is
she in a day-dream now ? Her eyes are fixed on the
floor, but I am sure they do not see it- her sight
seems turned in, gone down into her heart ; she is
looking at what she can remember, I believe ; not at
what is really present. I wonder what sort of a girl
she is — whether good or naughty."
Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consist-
ing of a small mug of coffee and half a slice of
brown bread. I devoured my bread and drank my
coffee with relish ; but I should have been glad of
as much more-I was still hungry. Half an hour's
recreation succeeded , then study ; then the glass of
water and the piece of oatcake, prayers, and bed.
Such was my first day at Lowood.

80
 CHAPTER VI.

THE next day commenced as before getting up and

dressing by rushlight ; but this morning we were
obliged to dispense with the ceremony of washing :
the water in the pitchers was frozen. A change had
taken place in the weather the preceding evening,
and a keen north-east wind, whistling through the
crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had
made us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents
of the ewers to ice.
Before the long hour and a half of prayers and
Bible reading was over, I felt ready to perish with
cold. Breakfast- time came at last, and this morning
the porridge was not burnt ; the quality was eatable,
the quantity small ; how small my portion seemed !
I wish it had been doubled.
In the course of the day I was enrolled a member
of the fourth class, and regular tasks and occupations
were assigned me : hitherto I had only been a
spectator of the proceedings at Lowood, I was now
to become an actor therein. At first, being little
accustomed to learn by heart, the lessons appeared
to me both long and difficult ; the frequent change
81 G
 JANE EYRE

from task to task, too, bewildered me ; and I was

glad, when, about three o'clock in the afternoon ,
Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin
two yards long, together with needle, thimble, etc. ,
and sent me to sit in a quiet corner of the school-
room, with directions to hem the same. At that
hour most of the others were sewing likewise ; but
one class still stood round Miss Scatcherd's chair

reading, and as all was quiet, the subject of their

lessons could be heard, together with the manner in
which each girl acquitted herself, and the animad-
versions or commendations of Miss Scatcherd on the
performance. It was English history ; among the
readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah :
at the commencement of the lesson her place had
been at the top of the class, but for some error of
pronunciation, or some inattention to stops, she was
suddenly sent to the very bottom. Even in that

obscure position Miss Scatcherd continued to make

her an object of constant notice : she was continually
addressing to her such phrases as the following :
" Burns " (such it seems was her name ; the girls
here were all called by their surnames, as boys are
elsewhere) " Burns, you are standing on the side of
your shoe ; turn your toes out immediately." " Burns ,
you poke your chin most unpleasantly ; draw it in."
" Burns, I insist on your holding your head up ; I
will not have you before me in that attitude ," etc. ,
etc.

A chapter having been read through twice, the

82
 JANE EYRE

books were closed and the girls examined. The

lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles I. ,

and there were sundry questions about tonnage and
poundage and ship-money, which most of them
appeared unable to answer ; still every little difficulty
was solved instantly when it reached Burns ; her
memory seemed to have retained the substance of

the whole lesson, and she was ready with answers on

every point. I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd
would praise her attention ; but , instead of that, she
suddenly cried out :-
" You dirty, disagreeable girl ! you have never
cleaned your nails this morning ! "
Burns made no answer : I wondered at her
silence.

"Why," thought I, " does she not explain that she

could neither clean her nails nor wash her face, as
the water was frozen ? "
My attention was now called off by Miss Smith
desiring me to hold a skein of thread : while she was
winding it, she talked to me from time to time ,
asking whether I had ever been at school before,
whether I could mark, stitch, knit, etc.; till she
dismissed me I could not pursue my observations on
Miss Scatcherd's movements. When I returned to
my seat that lady was just delivering an order, of
which I did not catch the import ; but Burns
immediately left the class , and, going into the small
inner room where the books were kept, returned in
half a minute, carrying in her hand a bundle of twigs
83
 JANE EYRE

tied together at one end. This ominous tool she

presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful
courtesy ; then she quietly, and without being told,
unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher instantly
and sharply inflicted on her neck a dozen strokes
with the bunch of twigs. Not a tear rose to Burns's
eyes ; and, while I paused from my sewing, because
my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment
of unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of
her pensive face altered its ordinary expression.
66
Hardened girl ! " exclaimed Miss Scatcherd ;
"nothing can correct you of your slatternly habits :
carry the rod away."
Burns obeyed : I looked at her narrowly as she
emerged from the book- closet ; she was just putting
back her handkerchief into her pocket, and the
trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.
The play-hour in the evening I thought the
pleasantest fraction of the day at Lowood : the bit of
bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five o'clock
had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger ;
the long restraint of the day was slackened ; the
schoolroom felt warmer than in the morning - its
fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly to
supply, in some measure, the place of candles , not
yet introduced ; the ruddy gloaming, the licensed
uproar, the confusion of many voices gave one a
welcome sense of liberty.

On the evening of the day on which I had seen

Miss Scatcherd flog her pupil , Burns, I wandered as
84
 JANE EYRE

usual among the forms and tables and laughing

groups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely :
when I passed the windows I now and then lifted a
blind and looked out ; it snowed fast, a drift was
already forming against the lower panes ; putting my
ear close to the window, I could distinguish from the
gleeful tumult within, the disconsolate moan of the
wind outside.

Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind

parents , this would have been the hour when I should
most keenly have regretted the separation : that wind
would then have saddened my heart ; this obscure
chaos would have disturbed my peace : as it was, I
derived from both a strange excitement, and, reck-
less and feverish, I wished the wind to howl more
wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness , and the
confusion to rise to clamour.
Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables , I
made my way to one of the fireplaces ; there, kneeling
by the high wire fender, I found Burns , absorbed,
silent, abstracted from all round her by the com-
panionship of a book, which she read by the dim
glare of the embers .
"Is it still Rasselas ? " I asked, coming behind
her.
66
Yes," she said, " and I have just finished it."
And in five minutes more she shut it up. I was
glad of this.
Now," thought I, " I can perhaps get her to
talk." I sat down by her on the floor.
85
 JANE EYRE

" What is your name besides Burns ? "

" Helen."

" Do you come a long way from here ? "

" I come from a place further north ; quite on the
borders of Scotland."

"Will you ever go back ? "

" I hope so ; but nobody can be sure of the
future."
" You must wish to leave Lowood ? "

" No ; why should I ? I was sent to Lowood to

get an education ; and it would be of no use going
away until I have attained that object."
" But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is cruel to
you ? "
" Cruel ? Not at all ! She is severe ; she dislikes
my faults."

" And if I were in your place I should dislike her ;

I should resist her ; if she struck me with that rod , I
should get it from her hand ; I should break it under
her nose."

" Probably you would do nothing of the sort ; but

if you did, Mr. Brocklehurst would expel you from
the school ; that would be a great grief to your
relations. It is far better to endure patiently a smart
which nobody feels but yourself, than to commit a
hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to
all connected with you ; and, besides , the Bible bids
us return good for evil. "
" But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and
to be sent to stand in the middle of a room full of
86
 JANE EYRE

people ; and you are such a great girl ; I am far

younger than you, and I could not bear it."
" Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could
not avoid it ; it is weak and silly to say you cannot
bear what it is your fate to be required to bear. "
I heard her with wonder : I could not comprehend
this doctrine of endurance ; and still less could I
understand or sympathize with the forbearance she
expressed for her chastiser. Still I felt that Helen
Burns considered things by a light invisible to my
eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong ;
but I would not ponder the matter deeply ; like
Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.
"You say you have faults, Helen : what are they ?
To me you seem very good."
“ Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances :

I am, as Miss Scatcherd said , slatternly ; I seldom

put, and never keep, things in order ; I am careless ; I
forget rules ; I read when I should learn my lessons ;
I have no method ; and sometimes I say, like you , I
cannot bear to be subjected to systematic arrange-
ments. This is all very provoking to Miss Scatcherd,
who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular. "
"And cross and cruel," I added . But Helen Burns

would not admit my addition : she kept silence.

" Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss
Scatcherd ? "
At the utterance of Miss Temple's name a soft
smile flitted over her grave face.
"Miss Temple is full of goodness : it pains her to
87
 JANE EYRE

be severe to any one, even the worst in the school :

she sees my errors, and tells me of them gently ; and,
if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my
meed liberally. One strong proof of my wretchedly
defective nature is that even her expostulations , so
mild, so rational, have not influence to cure me of
my faults ; and even her praise, though I value it
most highly, cannot stimulate me to continued care
and foresight. "
" That is curious," said I ; " it is so easy to be
careful."

" For you I have no doubt it is. I observed you

in your class this morning, and saw you were closely
attentive ; your thoughts never seemed to wander
while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned
you. Now, mine continually rove away when I
should be listening to Miss Scatcherd, and collecting
all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very
sound of her voice ; I fall into a sort of dream.
Sometimes I think I am in Northumberland, and
that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling
of a little brook which runs through Deepden, near
our house ; then when it comes to my turn to reply,
I have to be wakened ; and, having heard nothing
of what was read for listening to the visionary brook,
I have no answer ready."
" Yet how well you replied this afternoon."
" It was mere chance. The subject on which we
had been reading had interested me. This afternoon ,

instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was wondering

88
 JANE EYRE

how a man who wished to do right could act so un-

justly and unwisely as Charles the First sometimes
did ; and I thought what a pity it was that, with his
integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no
farther than the prerogatives of the crown. If he
had but been able to look to a distance, and see how
what they call the spirit of the age was tending !
Still, I like Charles-I respect him-I pity him, poor
murdered king ! Yes, his enemies were the worst :
they shed blood they had no right to shed. How
dared they kill him ! "
Helen was talking to herself now ; she had
forgotten I could not very well understand her-
that I was ignorant, or nearly so , of the subject she
discussed. I recalled her to my level.
" And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your
thoughts wander then ? "

" No, certainly, not often ; because Miss Temple

has generally something to say which is newer than
my own reflections : her language is singularly
agreeable to me, and the information she communi-

cates is often just what I wished to gain."

66
'Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good ? "
" Yes, in a passive way : I make no effort ; I
follow as inclination guides me. There is no merit
in such goodness ."
"A great deal : you are good to those who are
good to you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people
were always kind and obedient to those who are
cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it
89
 JANE EYRE

all their own way ; they would never feel afraid, and
so they would never alter, but would grow worse
and worse . When we are struck at without a

reason, we should strike back again very hard ; I

am sure we should-so hard as to teach the person
who struck us never to do it again."
"You will change your mind, I hope, when you
grow older ; as yet you are but a little untaught
girl. "
" But I feel this , Helen : I must dislike those who,
whatever I do to please them, persist in disliking
me ; I must resist those who punish me unjustly.
It is as natural as that I should love those who show

me affection, or submit to punishment when I feel it

is deserved ."
" Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine ;
but Christians and civilized nations disown it."
"How? I don't understand."
"It is not violence that best overcomes hate- nor

vengeance that most certainly heals injury."

"What then ?"
"Read the New Testament, and observe what
Christ says, and how He acts ; make His word your
rule, and His conduct your example."
"What does He say ?"
" Love your enemies ; bless them that curse you, do

good to them that hate you and despitefully use you."

" Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot
do ; I should bless her son John , which is im-
possible."
90
 JANE EYRE

In her turn , Helen Burns asked me to explain ;

and I proceeded forthwith to pour out, in my own
way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments.
Bitter and truculent when excited , I spoke as I felt,
without reserve or softening.
Helen heard me patiently to the end ; I expected
she would then make a remark, but she said
nothing.
" Well," I asked impatiently, " is not Mrs. Reed
a hard-hearted , bad woman ? "
"She has been unkind to you, no doubt ; because,
you see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss
Scatcherd does mine ; but how minutely you
remember all she has done and said to you ! What
a singularly deep impression her injustice seems to
have made on your heart ! No ill- usage so brands
its record on my feelings. Would you not be
happier if you tried to forget her severity, together
with the passionate emotions it excited ? Life
appears to me too short to be spent in nursing
animosity, or registering wrongs . We are, and must
be, one and all, burdened with faults in this world ;
but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall
put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies ;
when debasement and sin will fall from us with this

cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the

spirit will remain, the impalpable principle of life
and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to
inspire the creature ; whence it came it will return,
perhaps again to be communicated to some being
91
 JANE EYRE

higher than man-perhaps to pass through grada-

tions of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten
to the seraph ! Surely it will never, on the contrary,
be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend ? No ;
I cannot believe that ; I hold another creed, which
no one ever taught me, and which I seldom mention ;
but in which I delight, and to which I cling, for it
extends hope to all ; it makes Eternity a rest-a
mighty home, not a terror and an abyss. Besides ,
with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between
the criminal and his crime ; I can so sincerely
forgive the first while I abhor the last with this
creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation
never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never
crushes me too low : I live in calm, looking to the
end. "

Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower

as she finished this sentence. I saw by her look she
wished no longer to talk to me, but rather to
converse with her own thoughts. She was not
allowed much time for meditation : a monitor, a

great rough girl, presently came up, exclaiming, in a

strong Cumberland accent, -
" Helen Burns , if you don't go and put your
drawer in order, and fold up your work this minute,
I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it ! "
Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up,
obeyed the monitor without reply as without delay.

92
 CHAPTER VII.

My first quarter at Lowood seemed an age, and not

the golden age either : it comprised an irksome
struggle with difficulties in habituating myself to
new rules and unwonted tasks. The fear of failure

in these points harassed me worse than the physical

hardships of my lot, though these were no trifles.
During January, February, and part of March, the
deep snows, and, after their melting, the almost
impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond the
garden walls , except to go to church ; but within these
limits we had to pass an hour every day in the open
air. Our clothing was insufficient to protect us from
the severe cold ; we had no boots, the snow got into
our shoes, and melted there ; our ungloved hands
became numbed and covered with chilblains , as were

our feet. I remember well the distracting irritation

I endured from this cause every evening, when my
feet inflamed ; and the torture of thrusting the
swelled, raw, and stiff toes into my shoes in the
morning. Then the scanty supply of food was
distressing ; with the keen appetites of growing
children, we had scarcely sufficient to keep alive a
93
 JANE EYRE

delicate invalid. From this deficiency of nourish-

ment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the
younger pupils : whenever the famished great girls
had an opportunity they would coax or menace the
little ones out of their portion . Many a time I
have shared between two claimants the precious
morsel of brown bread distributed at tea-time ; and .

after relinquishing to a third half the contents of my

mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with
an accompaniment of secret tears , forced from me
by the exigency of hunger.
Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.
We had to walk two miles to Brocklebridge Church,
where our patron officiated. We set out cold , we
arrived at church colder : during the morning service
we became almost paralyzed. It was too far to
return to dinner, and an allowance of cold meat and
bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in
our ordinary meals, was served round between the
services.
At the close of the afternoon service we returned
by an exposed and hilly road, where the bitter winter
wind, blowing over a range of snowy summits to the
north, almost flayed the skin from our faces.
I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and
rapidly along our drooping line, her plaid cloak,
which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close about
her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to
keep up our spirits , and march forward, as she said,
"like stalwart soldiers." The other teachers , poor
94
 JANE EYRE

things, were generally themselves too much dejected

to attempt the task of cheering others.
How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing
fire when we got back ! But, to the little ones at
least this was denied ; each hearth in the schoolroom
was immediately surrounded by a double row of
great girls, and behind them the younger children
crouched in groups, wrapping their starved arms in
their pinafores .
A little solace came at tea-time in the shape of a
double ration of bread-a whole, instead of a half,
slice-with the delicious addition of a thin scrape
of butter : it was the hebdomadal treat to which we
all looked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath. I

generally contrived to reserve a moiety of this

bounteous repast for myself ; but the remainder I
was invariably obliged to part with.
The Sunday evening was spent in repeating by
heart, the Church Catechism, and the fifth, sixth , and
seventh chapters of St. Matthew ; and in listening to
a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irre-

pressible yawns attested her weariness. A frequent

interlude of these performances was the enactment
of the part of Eutychus by some half-dozen of little
girls , who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down,
if not out of the third loft, yet off the fourth form ,
and be taken up half dead. The remedy was, to
thrust them forward into the centre of the school-

room, and oblige them to stand there till the sermon

was finished. Sometimes their feet failed them , and
95
 JANE EYRE

they sank together in a heap ; they were then

propped up with the monitors ' high stools.
I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brockle-
hurst ; and indeed that gentleman was from home
during the greater part of the first month after my
arrival, perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend
the archdeacon ; his absence was a relief to me. I
need not say that I had my own reasons for dreading
his coming but come he did at last.
One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at
Lowood), as I was sitting with a slate in my hand,
puzzling over a sum in long division , my eyes, raised
in abstraction to the window, caught sight of a figure
just passing ; I recognized almost instinctively that
gaunt outline ; and when, two minutes after, all the
school, teachers included, rose en masse, it was not
necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose
entrance they thus greeted. A long stride measured
the schoolroom, and presently beside Miss Temple,
who herself had risen, stood the same black column
which had frowned on me so ominously from the
hearthrug of Gateshead. I now glanced sideways at
this piece of architecture. Yes, I was right ; it was
Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and
looking longer, narrower, and more rigid than ever.
I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this
apparition too well I remembered the perfidious
hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition , etc.;
the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise
Miss Temple and the teachers of my vicious nature.
96
 JANE EYRE

All along I had been dreading the fulfilment of this

promise,-I had been looking out daily for the
"Coming Man," whose information respecting my
past life and conversation was to brand me as a bad
child for ever ; now there he was. He stood at Miss

Temple's side ; he was speaking low in her ear : I did

not doubt he was making disclosures of my villainy ;
and I watched her eye with painful anxiety, expecting
every moment to see its dark orb turn on me a
glance of repugnance and contempt. I listened too ;
and as I happened to be seated quite at the top of
the room , I caught most of what he said : its import
relieved me from immediate apprehension.
" I supp , Miss Temp , the threa I boug
o se le d ht at
Lowt w d ; it struc me that it woul be just
on ill o k d
of the quali for the calic chemi , a n d I sorte
ty o ses d
the needl to matc . Y o u m a y t e l l M i ss S m ith that
es h
I forgo to make a memo of the darni
t rand ng
u
needl , but she shall have some pm a pers sent in next
es
week ; and she is not , on any acco
unt , to give out
more than one at a time to each pupi if they have
l
more , they are apt to be carel a n d lose them .
ess
And oh , ma'a ! I wish the wool
m len stockings were
bette looke to ! Whe
r d n I was here last , I went into
the kitch garde and exam
en n ined the clothes drying
on the line ; there was a quant o b h i a
ity f lack ose n
very bad state of repai ; from the size of the hole
r s
in them I was sure they had not been well men
ded
from time to time ."
He paused.
97 H
 JANE EYRE

" Your directions shall be attended to , sir," said

Miss Temple .
" And, ma'am ," he continued, " the laundress tells
me some of the girls have two clean tuckers in a
week ; it is too much ; the rules limit them to
one."

" I think I can explain that circumstance, sir.

Agnes and Catherine Johnstone were invited to take
tea with some friends at Lowton last Thursday, and
I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the
occasion."
Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.

"Well , for once it may pass ; but please not to let

the circumstance occur too often. And there is
another thing which surprised me ; I find, in settling
accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch , con-
sisting of bread and cheese, has twice been served
out to the girls during the past fortnight. How is
this ? I look over the regulations, and I find no such
meal as lunch mentioned. Who introduced this
innovation ? and by what authority ? "
" I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,"
replied Miss Temple ; " the breakfast was so ill-
prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat it ;
and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till
dinner-time."
" Madam, allow me an instant.-You are aware
that my plan in bringing up these girls is not to
accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence,
but to render them hardy, patient, self- denying.
98
 JANE EYRE

Should any little accidental disappointment of the

appetite occur, such as the spoiling of a meal, the
under or the over -dressing of a dish, the incident
ought not to be neutralized by replacing with some-
thing more delicate the comfort lost, thus pampering
the body and obviating the aim of this institution ;
it ought to be improved to the spiritual edification
of the pupils, by encouraging them to evince fortitude
under the temporary privation . A brief address on
those occasions would not be mistimed, wherein a
judicious instructor would take the opportunity of
referring to the sufferings of the primitive Christians ;
to the torments of martyrs ; to the exhortations of
our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciples
to take up their cross and follow Him ; to His warn-
ings that man shall not live by bread alone, but by
every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of
God ; to His divine consolations, ' If ye suffer hunger
or thirst for My sake, happy are ye. ' Oh, madam,
when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt
porridge, into these children's mouths, you may
indeed feed their vile bodies , but you little think
how you starve their immortal souls ! "
Mr. Brocklehurst again paused- perhaps over-
come by his feelings. Miss Temple had looked
down when he first began to speak to her ; but she
now gazed straight before her, and her face,
naturally pale as marble, appeared to be assuming
also the coldness and fixity of that material ;
especially her mouth, closed as if it would have
99
 JANE EYRE

required a sculptor's chisel to open it, and her brow

settled gradually into petrified severity.
Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the
hearth, with his hands behind his back, majestically
surveyed the whole school. Suddenly his eye gave a
blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled
or shocked its pupil ; turning, he said in more rapid
accents than he had hitherto used :-

" Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what- what is that

girl with curled hair ? Red hair, ma'am, curled-
curled all over ? " And extending his cane he pointed
to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.
"It is Julia Severn," replied Miss Temple, very
quietly.
" Julia Severn, ma'am ! And why has she, or any
other, curled hair ? Why, in defiance of every
precept and principle of this house, does she con-
form to the world so openly- here, in an evangelical,
charitable establishment -as to wear her hair one
mass of curls ? "

" Julia's hair curls naturally," returned Miss

Temple, still more quietly.
"Naturally ! Yes, but we are not to conform to
nature. I wish these girls to be the children of

Grace ; and why that abundance ? I have again and

again intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged
closely, modestly, plainly. Miss Temple, that girl's
hair must be cut off entirely ; I will send a barber
to-morrow ; and I see others who have far too much of
the excrescence -that tall girl, tell her to turn round.
100
 JANE EYRE

Tell all the first form to rise up and direct their faces
to the wall."

Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips,

as if to smooth away the involuntary smile that curled
them ; she gave the order, however, and when the
first class could take in what was required of them,
they obeyed. Leaning a little back on my bench, I
could see the looks and grimaces with which they
commented on this manœuvre it was a pity Mr.
Brocklehurst could not see them too ; he would
perhaps have felt that, whatever he might do with
the outside of the cup and platter, the inside was
further beyond his interference than he imagined.
He scrutinized the reverse of these living medals
some five minutes, then pronounced sentence.
These words fell like the knell of doom :

" All those top-knots must be cut off."

Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.
" Madam," he pursued, " I have a Master to serve
whose kingdom is not of this world ; my mission is
to mortify in these girls the lusts of the flesh ; to
teach them to clothe themselves with shamefacedness

and sobriety, not with braided hair and costly

apparel ; and each of the young persons before us
has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity
itself might have woven : these, I repeat, must be
cut off ; think of the time wasted , of—"
Mr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted ; three
other visitors, ladies, now entered the room. They
ought to have come a little sooner to have heard his
ΙΟΙ
 JANE EYRE

lecture on dress , for they were splendidly attired in

velvet, silk, and furs. The two younger of the trio
(fine girls of sixteen and seventeen ) had grey beaver

hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich plumes ,

and from under the brim of this graceful head-dress
fell a profusion of light tresses , elaborately curled ;
the elder lady was enveloped in a costly velvet shawl
trimmed with ermine, and she wore a false front of
French curls.

These ladies were deferentially received by Miss

Temple, as Mrs. and Misses Brocklehurst, and con-
ducted to seats of honour at the top of the room. It

seems they had come in the carriage with their

reverend relative, and had been conducting a rum-
maging scrutiny of the rooms upstairs, while he
transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned

the laundress, and lectured the superintendent.

They now proceeded to address divers remarks and
reproofs to Miss Smith, who was charged with the
care of the linen and the inspection of the dormi-
tories ; but I had no time to listen to what they said ;
other matters called off and enchained my attention.
Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr.
Brocklehurst and Miss Temple, I had not, at the
same time, neglected precautions to secure my per-
sonal safety ; which I thought would be effected if
I could only elude observation. To this end, I had
sat well back on the form, and while seeming to be
busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a
manner as to conceal my face : I might have escaped
102
 JANE EYRE

notice had not my treacherous slate somehow

happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an
obtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me ;
I knew it was all over now, and, as I stooped to pick
up the two fragments of slate , I rallied my forces
for the worst. It came.

"A careless girl ! " said Mr. Brocklehurst, and im-

mediately after, " It is the new pupil, I perceive."
And before I could draw breath, " I must not forget

I have a word to say respecting her." Then aloud

-how loud it seemed to me !-" Let the child who
broke her slate come forward ! "
Of my own accord, I could not have stirred ; I

was paralyzed : but the two great girls who sat on

each side of me set me on my legs and pushed me
towards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple
gently assisted me to his very feet, and I caught her
whispered counsel,-
" Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident ;
you shall not be punished ."
The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.
"Another minute, and she will despise me for a
hypocrite," thought I ; and an impulse of fury against
Reed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my pulses
at the conviction . I was no Helen Burns.
"Fetch that stool," said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing
to a very high one from which a monitor had just
risen : it was brought.
" Place the child upon it."
And I was placed there, by whom I don't know. I
103
 JANE EYRE

was in no condition to note particulars. I was only

aware that they had hoisted me up to the height of

Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of
me, and that a spread of shot orange and purple silk
pelisses and a cloud of silvery plumage extended and
waved below me.

Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed .

" Ladies," said he, turning to his family ; " Miss

Temple, teachers, and children, you all see this
girl ?"
Of course they did ; for I felt their eyes directed
like burning-glasses against my scorched skin.
" You see, she is yet young ; you observe she
possesses the ordinary form of childhood ; God has
graciously given her the shape that He has given to
all of us ; no single deformity points her out as a
marked character. Who would think that the Evil
One had already found a servant and agent in her ?
Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case."
A pause-in which I began to steady the palsy of
my nerves, and to feel that the Rubicon was passed ,
and that the trial, no longer to be shirked, must be
firmly sustained.
"My dear children ," pursued the black marble
clergyman, with pathos, " this is a sad, a melancholy
occasion ; for it becomes my duty to warn you that
this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a
little castaway : not a member of the true flock, but
evidently an interloper and an alien. You must be
on your guard against her ; you must shun her
104
 JANE EYRE

example : if necessary, avoid her company, exclude

her from your sports, and shut her out from your
converse. Teachers, you must watch her ; keep
your eyes on her movements, weigh well her words,
scrutinize her actions, punish her body to save her
soul : if, indeed, such salvation be possible, for (my
tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child , the
native of a Christian land, worse than many a little

heathen who says its prayers to Brahma and kneels

before Juggernaut—this girl is—a liar ! "
Now came a pause of ten minutes ; during which I
-by this time in perfect possession of my wits-
observed all the female Brocklehursts produce their
pocket-handkerchiefs and apply them to their optics,
while the elderly lady swayed herself to and fro ,
and the two younger ones whispered , " How shock-
ing ! "
Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.
" This I learned from her benefactress-from the

pious and charitable lady who adopted her in her

orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and
whose kindness , whose generosity the unhappy girl
repaid by an ingratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at
last her excellent patroness was obliged to separate
her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious
example should contaminate their purity. She has
sent her here to be healed, even as the Jews of old
sent their diseased to the troubled pool of Bethesda ;
and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to
allow the waters to stagnate round her."
105
 JANE EYRE

With this sublime conclusion Mr. Brocklehurst

adjusted the top button of his surtout, muttered

something to his family, who rose, bowed to Miss
Temple, and then all the great people sailed in state
from the room. Turning at the door, my judge
said,--

" Let her stand half an hour longer on that stool,

and let no one speak to her during the remainder of
the day."

There was I, then, mounted aloft : I, who had

said I could not bear the shame of standing on my
natural feet in the middle of the room , was now

exposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy.

What my sensations were no language can describe ;
but, just as they all rose , stifling my breath and con-
stricting my throat, a girl came up and passed me :
in passing she lifted her eyes. What a strange
light inspired them ! What an extraordinary sen-
sation that ray sent through me ! How the new
feeling bore me up ! It was as if a martyr, a hero ,
had passed a slave or victim, and imparted strength
in the transit. I mastered the rising hysteria, lifted
up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.

Helen Burns asked some slight question about her

work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the triviality of
the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me
as she again went by. What a smile ! I remember
it now, and I know that it was the effluence of fine

intellect, of true courage ; it lit up her marked

lineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like
106
 JANE EYRE

a reflection from the aspect of an angel. Yet at

that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm " the
untidy badge " ; scarcely an hour ago I had heard
her condemned by Miss Scatcherd to a dinner of
bread and water on the morrow, because she had
blotted an exercise in copying it out. Such is the
imperfect nature of man ! Such spots are there on
the disc of the clearest planet ; and eyes like Miss
Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and
are blind to the full brightness of the orb.

107
 CHAPTER VIII.

ERE the half-hour ended five o'clock struck ; school

was dismissed, and all were gone into the refectory

to tea. I now ventured to descend : it was deep
dusk I retired into a corner and sat down on the
floor. The spell by which I had been so far

supported began to dissolve ; reaction took place,

and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized
me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground .
Now I wept Helen Burns was not here ; nothing
sustained me ; left to myself I abandoned myself,
and my tears watered the boards . I had meant to
be so good, and to do so much at Lowood ; to make
so many friends, to earn respect, and win affection .
Already I had made visible progress : that very
morning I had reached the head of my class ; Miss
Miller had praised me warmly ; Miss Temple had
smiled approbation ; she had promised to teach me
drawing, and to let me learn French, if I continued
to make similar improvement two months longer :
and then I was well received by my fellow pupils ;
treated as an equal by those of my own age, and
108
 JANE EYRE

not molested by any ; now, here I lay again crushed

and trodden on ; and could I ever rise more ?
"Never," I thought ; and ardently I wished to die.
While sobbing out this wish in broken accents some
one approached : I started up -again Helen Burns
was near me ; the fading fires just showed her

coming up the long, vacant room ; she brought me

coffee and bread.
66
Come, eat something," she said ; but I put both
away from me, feeling as if a drop or a crumb would
have choked me in my present condition. Helen
regarded me, probably with surprise : I could not
now abate my agitation, though I tried hard ; I con-
tinued to weep aloud. She sat down on the ground
near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and
rested her head upon them ; in that attitude she
remained silent as an Indian . I was the first who
spoke.
" Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom every-
body believes to be a liar ? "
66
Everybody, Jane ? Why, there are only eighty
people who have heard you called so, and the world
contains hundreds of millions."
" But what have I to do with millions ? The

eighty I know despise me."

" Jane, you are mistaken ; probably not one in the
school either despises or dislikes you ; many, I am
sure, pity you much.”
" How can they pity me after what Mr. Brockle-
hurst said ? "
109
 JANE EYRE

" Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god, nor is he even a

great and admired man ; he is little liked here ; he
never took steps to make himself liked. Had he

treated you as an especial favourite, you would have

found enemies, declared or covert, all around you ;
as it is, the greater number would offer you sympathy
if they dared. Teachers and pupils may look coldly
on you for a day or two , but friendly feelings are
concealed in their hearts ; and if you persevere in
doing well, these feelings will ere long appear so
much the more evidently for their temporary
suppression. Besides , Jane-" she paused.
"Well, Helen ? " said I , putting my hand into hers .
She chafed my fingers gently to warm them, and
went on :-

" If all the world hated you, and believed you

wicked, while your own conscience approved you ,
and absolved you from guilt, you would not be with-
out friends."

"No ; I know I should think well of myself ; but

that is not enough : if others don't love me, I would
rather die than live-I cannot bear to be solitary
and hated, Helen. Look here ; to gain some real
affection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other
whom I truly love, I would willingly submit to have
the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me,
or to stand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash
its hoof at my chest, - "
" Hush, Jane ! you think too much of the love of
human beings ; you are too impulsive , too vehement ;
IIO
 JANE EYRE

the sovereign hand that created your frame, and

put life into it, has provided you with other re-
sources than your feeble self, or than creatures
feeble as you. Besides this earth, and besides the
race of men, there is an invisible world and a king-
dom of spirits ; that world is round us , for it is
everywhere ; and those spirits watch us, for they are
commissioned to guard us ; and if we were dying in
pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and
hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recognize
our innocence (if innocent we be ; as I know you are
of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly
and pompously repeated at second- hand from Mrs.
Reed ; for I read a sincere nature in your ardent
eyes and on your clear front) , and God waits only
the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a
full reward. Why, then, should we ever sink over-
whelmed with distress, when life is so soon over,

and death is so certain an entrance to happiness-to

""
glory ?
I was silent ; Helen had calmed me ; but in the
tranquillity she imparted there was an alloy of inex-
pressible sadness. I felt the impression of woe as
she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came ; and
when, having done speaking, she breathed a little
fast and coughed a short cough, I momentarily
forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern
for her.
Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my
arms round her waist ; she drew me to her, and we
III
 JANE EYRE

reposed in silence. We had not sat long thus when

another person came in. Some heavy clouds , swept
from the sky by a rising wind, had left the moon
bare ; and her light, streaming in through a window
near, shone full both on us and on the approaching
figure, which we at once recognized as Miss Temple.
" I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre," said
she ; " I want you in my room ; and as Helen Burns
is with you, she may come too."
We went ; following the superintendent's guidance ,
we had to thread some intricate passages, and mount
a staircase before we reached her apartment ; it
contained a good fire, and looked cheerful. Miss
Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-
chair on one side of the hearth, and, herself taking
another, she called me to her side.
" Is it all over ? " she asked, looking down at my
face. " Have you cried your grief away ? "
" I am afraid I never shall do that."
66
"Why ? "
" Because I have been wrongly accused ; and you,
maʼam , and everybody else will now think me
wicked. "
"We shall think you what you prove yourself to
be, my child. Continue to act as a good girl, and
you will satisfy us."
" Shall I , Miss Temple ? "
" You will," said she, passing her arms round me.
" And now tell me who is the lady whom Mr. Brockle-
hurst called your benefactress ? "
II 2
 JANE EYRE

" Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead

and he left me to her care."

" Did she not, then, adopt you of her own

accord ? "

"No, ma'am ; she was sorry to have to do it ; but

my uncle, as I have often heard the servants say, got
her to promise before he died that she would always
keep me. "
"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell
you, that when a criminal is accused, he is always
allowed to speak in his own defence. You have
been charged with falsehood ; defend yourself to me
as well as you can. Say whatever your memory
suggests as true ; but add nothing and exaggerate
nothing."
I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would
be most moderate-most correct ; and, having
reflected a few minutes in order to arrange cohe-

rently what I had to say, I told her all the story of

my sad childhood. Exhausted by emotion, my

language was more subdued than it generally was

when it developed that sad theme ; and mindful of
Helen's warnings against the indulgence of resent-
ment , I infused into the narrative far less of gall and
wormwood than ordinary. Thus restrained and

simplified, it sounded more credible : I felt as I went

on that Miss Temple fully believed me.
In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr.
Lloyd as having come to see me after the fit ; for I
never forget the, to me, frightful episode of the red-
113 I
 JANE EYRE

room ; in detailing which my excitement was sure, in

some degree, to break bounds ; for nothing could
soften in my recollection the spasm of agony which

clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild

supplication for pardon, and locked me a second
time in the dark and haunted chamber.

I had finished. Miss Temple regarded me a few

minutes in silence ; she then said, -
" I know something of Mr. Lloyd ; I shall write to
him ; if his reply agrees with your statement, you
shall be publicly cleared from every imputation : to
me, Jane, you are clear now."
She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side
(where I was well contented to stand, for I derived a
child's pleasure from the contemplation of her face,
her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white fore-
head, her clustered and shining curls , and beaming
dark eyes), she proceeded to address Helen Burns .
Have you
" How are you to-night, Helen ?
coughed much to -day ? "
" Not quite so much , I think, maʼam. ”
"And the pain in your chest ? "
" It is a little better."
Miss Temple got up, took her and examined her
pulse ; then she returned to her own seat ; as she
resumed it I heard her sigh low. She was pensive a
few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheer-
fully :-
"But you two are my visitors to-night ; I must
treat you as such. " She rang her þell.
I 14
 JANE EYRE

" Barbara," she said to the servant who answered

it, " I have not yet had tea ; bring the tray, and place
cups for these two young ladies."

And a tray was soon brought. How pretty, to my

eyes, did the china cups and bright teapot look ,
placed on the little round table near the fire ! How
fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the
scent of the toast ! of which, however, I, to my
dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry) , dis-
cerned only a very small portion ; Miss Temple
discerned it too :-

" Barbara," said she, " can you not bring a little
more bread and butter ? There is not enough for
three."
Barbara went out she returned soon :-

" Madam , Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the

usual quantity."
Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper,
a woman after Mr. Brocklehurst's own heart, made
up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.
66 we
" Oh, very well ! " returned Miss Temple ;
must make it do, Barbara, I suppose." And as the girl
withdrew, she added, smiling, " Fortunately, I have
it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once."
Having invited Helen and me to approach the
table, and placed before each of us a cup of tea with
one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got up,
unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel
wrapped in paper, disclosed presently to our eyes a
good- sized seed- cake.
115
 JANE EYRE

" I meant to give each of you some of this to take

with you," said she ; " but as there is so little toast,
you must have it now," and she proceeded to cut
slices with a generous hand.
We feasted that evening as on nectar and

ambrosia ; and not the least delight of the entertain-

ment was the smile of gratification with which our
hostess regarded us , as we satisfied our famished
appetites on the delicate fare she liberally supplied .
Tea over, and the tray removed, she again summoned
us to the fire ; we sat one on each side of her, and
now a conversation followed between her and Helen,
which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to
hear.

Miss Temple had always something of serenity in

her air, of state in her mien, of refined propriety in
her language, which precluded deviation into the
ardent, the excited , the eager ; something which
chastened the pleasure of those who looked on her
and listened to her, by a controlling sense of awe ;
and such was my feeling now ; but as to Helen
Burns , I was struck with wonder.
The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence
and kindness of her beloved instructress, or, perhaps ,
more than all these, something in her own unique
mind, had roused her powers within her. They
woke, they kindled ; first, they glowed in the bright
tint of her cheek, which till this hour I had never
seen but pale and bloodless ; then they shone in
the liquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly
116
 JANE EYRE

acquired a beauty more singular than that of Miss

Temple's a beauty neither of fine colour nor long
eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of move-
ment, of radiance. Then her soul sat on her lips ,
and language flowed, from what source I cannot tell :
has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough, vigorous
enough to hold the swelling spring of pure, full ,
fervid eloquence ? Such was the characteristic of
Helen's discourse on that, to me, memorable
evening ; her spirit seemed hastening to live within
a very brief span as much as many live during a
protracted existence .

They conversed of things I had never heard of ; of

nations and times past ; of countries far away ; of
secrets of nature discovered or guessed at : they
spoke of books ; how many they had read ! What
stores of knowledge they possessed ! Then they
seemed so familiar with French names and French
authors ; but my amazement reached its climax when
Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched
a moment to recall the Latin her father had taught
her, and, taking a book from a shelf, bade her read
and construe a page of Virgil ; and Helen obeyed,
my organ of Veneration expanding at every sound-
ing line. She had scarcely finished ere the bell
announced bedtime ; no delay could be admitted ;
Miss Temple embraced us both, saying, as she drew
us to her heart,-―
" God bless you, my children ! "
Helen she held a little longer than me ; she let her
117
 JANE EYRE

go more reluctantly. It was Helen her eye followed

to the door ; it was for her she a second time
breathed a sad sigh ; for her she wiped a tear from
her cheek.

On reaching the bedroom we heard the voice of

Miss Scatcherd : she was examining drawers ; she
had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we
entered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand,
and told that to-morrow she should have half a

dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her

shoulder.

"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,"

murmured Helen to me, in a low voice. " I intended
to have arranged them, but I forgot. "
Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous
characters on a piece of paste-board the word
66
Slattern," and bound it like a phylactery round
Helen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign- looking
forehead. She wore it till evening, patient, unresent-
ful, regarding it as a deserved punishment. The
moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew, after afternoon
school, I ran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into
the fire. The fury of which she was incapable had
been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and
large, had continually been scalding my cheek ; for
the spectacle of her sad resignation gave me an
intolerable pain at the heart.
About a week subsequently to the incidents above
narrated, Miss Temple, who had written to Mr.
Lloyd, received his answer ; it appeared that what
118
 JANE EYRE

Miss
he said went to corroborate my account.
Temple, having assembled the whole school,
announced that inquiry had been made into the
charges alleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was
most happy to be able to pronounce her completely
cleared from every imputation. The teachers then
shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur
of pleasure ran through the ranks of my com-
panions.
Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour
set to work afresh, resolved to pioneer my way
through every difficulty. I toiled hard, and my
success was proportionate to my efforts ; my memory,
not naturally tenacious, improved with practice ;
exercise sharpened my wits. In a few weeks I was
promoted to a higher class ; in less than two months
I was allowed to commence French and drawing. I
learned the first two tenses of the verb Etre and
sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by the way,
outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of
Pisa) , on the same day. That night, on going to
bed, I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barme-
cide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread
and new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my
inward cravings. I feasted instead on the spectacle
of ideal drawings, which I saw in the dark-all the
work of my own hands ; freely pencilled houses and
trees, picturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp -like groups
of cattle , sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over
unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe cherries, of
119
 JANE EYRE

wrens ' nests enclosing pearl- like eggs, wreathed

about with young ivy sprays . I examined , too, in
thought, the possibility of my ever being able to
translate currently a certain little French story-book
which Madame Pierrot had that day shown me ; nor
was that problem solved to my satisfaction ere I fell
sweetly asleep.
Well has Solomon said-" Better is a dinner of
herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred
therewith. "

I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all

its privations, for Gateshead and its daily luxuries .

I 20
 CHAPTER IX.

BUT the privations , or rather the hardships of

Lowood lessened. Spring drew on- she was indeed
already come ; the frosts of winter had ceased ; its
snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated .
My wretched feet, flayed and swollen to lameness by
the sharp air of January, began to heal and subside
under the gentler breathings of April ; the nights
and mornings no longer by their Canadian tempera-
ture froze the very blood in our veins ; we could
now endure the play-hour passed in the garden ;
sometimes on a sunny day it began even to be
pleasant and genial, and a greenness grew over those
brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested the
thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left
each morning brighter traces of her steps . Flowers
peeped out amongst the leaves : snowdrops, crocuses,
purple auriculas , and golden- eyed pansies. On
Thursday afternoons (half-holidays ) we now took
walks, and found still sweeter flowers opening by
the wayside, under the hedges.
I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoy-
ment which the horizon only bounded, lay all out-
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 JANE EYRE

side the high and spike-guarded walls of our garden :

this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits
girdling a great hill-hollow, rich in verdure and
shadow ; in a bright beck, full of dark stones and
sparkling eddies. How different had this scene
looked when I viewed it laid out beneath the iron

sky ofwinter, stiffened in frost, shrouded with snow !

-when mists as chill as death wandered to the

impulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and

rolled down " ing " and holm, till they blended with
the frozen fog of the beck ! That beck itself was
then a torrent, turbid and curbless ; it tore asunder
the wood, and sent a raving sound through the air,
often thickened with wild rain or whirling sleet ;
and for the forest on its banks, that showed only
ranks of skeletons.

April advanced to May : a bright serene May it

was ; days of blue sky, placid sunshine , and soft
western or southern gales filled up its duration .
And now vegetation matured with vigour ; Lowood
shook loose its tresses ; it became all green, all
flowery ; its great elm, ash, and oak skeletons were
restored to majestic life ; woodland plants sprang
up profusely in its recesses ; unnumbered varieties
of moss filled its hollows, and it made a strange
ground- sunshine out of the wealth of its wild
primrose plants : I have seen their pale gold
gleam in overshadowed spots, like scatterings of
the sweetest lustre. All this I enjoyed often and
fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone : for this
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unwonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause, to

which it now becomes my task to advert.
Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwell-
ing, when I speak of it as bosomed in hill and wood,
and rising from the verge of a stream ? Assuredly,
pleasant enough, but whether healthy or not is
another question .

That forest dell, where Lowood lay, was the

cradle of fog and fog-bred pestilence ; which,
quickening with the quickening spring, crept into
the Orphan Asylum , breathed typhus through its
crowded schoolroom and dormitory, and, ere May
arrived, transformed the seminary into a hospital.
Semi-starvation and neglected colds had pre-
disposed most of the pupils to receive infection ;
forty-five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one time.
Classes were broken up, rules relaxed. The few
who continued well were allowed almost unlimited
licence, because the medical attendant insisted on
the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them in
health ; and had it been otherwise, no one had leisure
to watch or restrain them. Miss Temple's whole

attention was absorbed by the patients ; she lived in

the sick-room , never quitting it except to snatch a
few hours' rest at night. The teachers were fully
occupied with packing up and making other
necessary preparations for the departure of those
girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and
relations able and willing to remove them from the
seat of contagion. Many, already smitten, went
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home only to die ; some died at the school , and

were buried quietly and quickly, the nature of the
malady forbidding delay.
While disease had thus become an inhabitant of

Lowood, and death its frequent visitor ; while there

was gloom and fear within its walls ; while its rooms
and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drug
and the pastille striving vainly to overcome the
effluvia of mortality, that bright May shone un-
clouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland

out of doors. Its garden, too, glowed with flowers ;

hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees, lilies had
opened, tulips and roses were in bloom ; the borders

of the little beds were gay with pink thrift and

crimson double-daisies ; the sweetbriars gave out,
morning and evening, their scent of spice and
apples ; and these fragrant treasures were all useless
for most of the inmates of Lowood , except to furnish
now and then a handful of herbs and blossoms to
put in a coffin .
But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed
fully the beauties of the scene and season ; they let
us ramble in the wood, like gipsies , from morning till
night ; we did what we liked, went where we liked ;
we lived better too. Mr. Brocklehurst and his
family never came near Lowood now ; household
matters were not scrutinized into ; the cross house-
keeper was gone, driven away by the fear of infec-
tion ; her successor, who had been matron at the

Lowton Dispensary, unused to the ways of her

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new abode, provided with comparative liberality.

Besides, there were fewer to feed ; the sick could
eat little ; our breakfast-basins were better filled ;
when there was no time to prepare a regular dinner,
which often happened, she would give us a large
piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and
cheese, and this we carried away with us to the
wood, where we each chose the spot we liked best,
and dined sumptuously .

My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone,

rising white and dry from the very middle of the
beck, and only to be got at by wading through the
water, a feat I accomplished barefoot. The stone
was just broad enough to accommodate comfortably
another girl and me, at that time my chosen
comrade-one Mary Ann Wilson ; a shrewd, ob-
servant personage, whose society I took pleasure in,
partly because she was witty and original , and partly
because she had a manner which set me at my ease.

Some years older than I, she knew more of the

world, and could tell me many things I liked to
hear ; with her my curiosity found gratification ; to
my faults also she gave ample indulgence, never
imposing curb or rein on anything I said. She had
a turn for narrative, I for analysis ; she liked to
inform , I to question ; so we got on swimmingly
together, deriving much entertainment, if not much
improvement, from our mutual intercourse.
And where, meantime, was Helen Burns ? Why
did I not spend these sweet days of liberty with
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her ? Had I forgotten her ? or was I so worthless as

to have grown tired of her pure society ? Surely the
Mary Ann Wilson I have mentioned was inferior to
my first acquaintance ; she could only tell me
amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and
pungent gossip I chose to indulge in ; while, if I
have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified to
give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse,
a taste of far higher things.
True, reader ; and I knew and felt this ; and
though I am a defective being, with many faults and
few redeeming points , yet I never tired of Helen
Burns, nor ever ceased to cherish for her a senti-
ment of attachment, as strong, tender, and respect-
ful as any that ever animated my heart. How could
it be otherwise, when Helen , at all times and under
all circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and
faithful friendship , which ill-humour never soured,
nor irritation ever troubled ? But Helen was ill at
present ; for some weeks she had been removed

from my sight to I knew not what room upstairs.

She was not, I was told, in the hospital portion
of the house with the fever patients ; for her
complaint was consumption, not typhus ; and by
consumption I, in my ignorance, understood some-
thing mild, which time and care would be sure to
alleviate.
I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once
or twice coming downstairs on very warm sunny
afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple into the
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garden ; but on these occasions I was not allowed to

go and speak to her ; I only saw her from the school-
room window, and then not distinctly ; for she was
much wrapped up, and sat at a distance, under the
verandah.

One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed

out very late with Mary Ann in the wood ; we had,
as usual, separated ourselves from the others, and
had wandered far ; so far that we lost our way, and
had to ask it at a lonely cottage, where a man and
woman lived, who looked after a herd of half wild
swine that fed on the mast in the wood. When we

got back it was after moonrise ; a pony, which we

knew to be the surgeon's, was standing at the garden
door. Mary Ann remarked that she supposed some
one must be very ill , as Mr. Bates had been sent for at
that time of the evening. She went into the house ; I
stayed behind a few minutes to plant in my garden
a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and
which I feared would wither if I left them till the

morning. This done , I lingered yet a little longer ;

the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell ; it was

such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm ; the still

glowing west promised so fairly another fine day on
the morrow ; the moon rose with such majesty in the
grave east. I was noting these things and enjoying
them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it
had never done before :-

" How sad to be lying on a sick bed, and to be in

danger of dying ! This world is pleasant- it would
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 JANE EYRE

be dreary to be called from it, and to have to go who

knows where ? "

And then my mind made its first earnest effort to

comprehend what had been infused into it concern-
ing heaven and hell ; and for the first time it re-
coiled, baffled ; and for the first time glancing
behind, on each side, and before it, it saw all round
an unfathomed gulf : it felt the one point where it
stood the present ; all the rest was formless cloud
and vacant depth ; and it shuddered at the thought
of tottering, and plunging amid that chaos. While
pondering this new idea, I heard the front door open ;
Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse.
After she had seen him mount his horse and depart,
she was about to close the door, but I ran up to her.
" How is Helen Burns ?"
66
Very poorly," was the answer.
" Is it she Mr. Bates has been to see ?"
" Yes."

" And what does he say about her ? "

" He says she'll not be here long. "
This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday,
would have only conveyed the notion that she was
about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own

home, I should not have suspected that it meant she

was dying ; but I knew instantly now ; it opened clear
on my comprehension that Helen Burns was number-
ing her last days in this world, and that she was
going to be taken to the region of spirits, if such
region there were. I experienced a shock of horror,
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then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire- a

necessity to see her ; and I asked in what room
she lay.
"She is in Miss Temple's room," said the nurse.
" May I go up and speak to her ? "
" Oh, no, child ! It is not likely ; and now it is
time for you to come in ; you'll catch the fever if you
stop out when the dew is falling."
The nurse closed the front door ; I went in by the
side entrance which led to the schoolroom : I was
just in time ; it was nine o'clock, and Miss Miller
was calling the pupils to go to bed.
It might be two hours later, probably near eleven ,
when I not having been able to fall asleep, and
deeming, from the perfect silence of the dormitory,
that my companions were all wrapt in profound re-
pose-rose softly, put on my frock over my night-
dress, and, without shoes, crept from the apartment,
and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room. It was

quite at the other end of the house ; but I knew my

way ; and the light of the unclouded summer moon,
entering here and there at passage windows, enabled
me to find it without difficulty. An odour of
camphor and burnt vinegar warned me when I came
near the fever-room and I passed its door quickly,
fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should
hear me. I dreaded being discovered and sent back ;
for I must see Helen, -I must embrace her before
she died, I must give her one last kiss, exchange
with her one last word.
129 K
 JANE EYRE

Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion

of the house below, and succeeded in opening and
shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached another
flight of steps ; these I mounted, and then just
opposite to me was Miss Temple's room. A light
shone through the key-hole, and from under the
door ; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.
Coming near, I found the door slightly ajar : pro-
bably to admit some fresh air into the close abode
of sickness. Indisposed to hesitate, and full of im-
patient impulses soul and senses quivering with
keen throes-I put it back and looked in. My eye
sought Helen, and feared to find death.
Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with
its white curtains, there stood a little crib. I saw
the outline of a form under the clothes , but the face
was hid by the hangings : the nurse I had spoken to
in the garden sat in an easy chair, asleep ; an un-
snuffed candle burnt dimly on the table. Miss
Temple was not to be seen : I knew afterwards that
she had been called to a delirious person in the fever-
room . I advanced ; then paused by the crib side :
my hand was on the curtain, but I preferred speak-
ing before I withdrew it. I still recoiled at the
dread of seeing a corpse.

" Helen ! " I whispered softly ; " are you awake ? "
She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I
saw her face, pale, wasted , but quite composed : she
looked so little changed that my fear was instantly
dissipated.
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"Can it be you, Jane ? " she asked, in her own

gentle voice.

" Oh ! " I thought, " she is not going to die ; they

are mistaken she could not speak and look so
calmly if she were."
I got on to her crib and kissed her : her forehead
was cold, and her cheek both cold and thin, and so
were her hand and wrist ; but she smiled as of old.
"Why are you come here, Jane ? It is past eleven
o'clock : I heard it strike some minutes since."

" I came to see you , Helen : I heard you were

very ill, and I could not sleep till I had spoken to
you."
" You came to bid me good -bye , then you are just
in time probably. "

" Are you going somewhere, Helen ? Are you

going home ?"
66
Yes ; to my long home- my last home."
66
' No, no, Helen ! " I stopped, distressed. While
I tried to devour my tears, a fit of coughing seized
Helen ; it did not, however, wake the nurse ; when
it was over, she lay some minutes exhausted ; then
she whispered :—
"Jane, your little feet are bare ; lie down and
cover yourself with my quilt."
I did so she put her arm over me, and I nestled
close to her. After a long silence, she resumed,
still whispering ,—
" I am very happy, Jane ; and when you hear that
I am dead, you must be sure and not grieve : there
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is nothing to grieve about. We all must die one

day, and the illness which is removing me is not
painful ; it is gentle and gradual : my mind is at
rest. I leave no one to regret me much : I have
only a father ; and he is lately married, and will not
miss me.
By dying young, I shall escape great
sufferings. I had not qualities or talents to make
my way very well in the world : I should have been
continually at fault."
" But where are you going to , Helen ? Can you
see ? Do you know ? "
" I believe ; I have faith : I am going to God ! "
"Where is God ? What is God ? "

" My Maker and yours, Who will never destroy

what He created. I rely implicitly on His power, and
confide wholly in His goodness : I count the hours
till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me
to Him, reveal Him to me."
66
' You are sure, then, Helen , that there is such a
place as heaven : and that our souls can get to it
when we die ?"
" I am sure there is a future state ; I believe God

is good ; I can resign my immortal part to Him with-

out any misgiving. God is my Father ; God is my
Friend : I love Him, I believe He loves me."
" And shall I see you again, Helen, when I
die ? "

" You will come to the same region of happiness :

be received by the same mighty universal Parent, no
doubt, dear Jane."

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 JANE EYRE

Again I questioned ; but this time only in thought.

"Where is that region ? Does it exist ? " And I
clasped my arms closer round Helen ; she seemed
dearer to me than ever ; I felt as if I could not let
her go ; I lay with my face hidden on her neck.
Presently she said in the sweetest tone,-
How comfortable I am ! That last fit of cough-
ing has tired me a little ; I feel as if I could sleep ;
but don't leave me, Jane ; I like to have you near
me."

" I'll stay with you, dear Helen : no one shall take
me away."
66
Are you warm, darling ? "
" Yes."

Good- night, Jane."

" Good-night, Helen. "
She kissed me and I her ; and we both soon
slumbered.

When I awoke it was day : an unusual movement

roused me ; I looked up ; I was in somebody's arms ;
the nurse held me ; she was carrying me through the
passage back to the dormitory. I was not repri-
manded for leaving my bed ; people had something
else to think about : no explanation was afforded
then to my many questions ; but a day or two after-
wards I learned that Miss Temple, on returning to
her own room at dawn, had found me laid in the
little crib ; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder,
my arms round her neck. I was asleep, and Helen
was-dead.
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 JANE EYRE

Her grave is in Brocklebridge Churchyard : for

fifteen years after her death it was only covered by a
grassy mound ; but now a grey marble tablet marks
the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word
" Resurgam . "

I 34
 CHAPTER X.

HITHERTO I have recorded in detail the events of my

insignificant existence : to the first ten years of my
life I have given almost as many chapters. But this
is not to be a regular autobiography : I am only
bound to invoke memory where I know her responses
will possess some degree of interest ; therefore I now
pass a space of eight years almost in silence : a few
lines only are necessary to keep up the links of
connection.

When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of

devastation at Lowood , it gradually disappeared from
there ; but not till its virulence and the number of
its victims had drawn public attention on the school.
Inquiry was made into the origin of the scourge ,
and by degrees various facts came out which excited
public indignation in a high degree. The unhealthy
nature of the site ; the quantity and quality of the
children's food ; the brackish, fetid water used in its
preparation ; the pupils' wretched clothing and
accommodations-all these things were discovered ;
and the discovery produced a result mortifying to
Mr. Brocklehurst, but beneficial to the institution.
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 JANE EYRE

Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the

county subscribed largely for the erection of a more
convenient building in a better situation ; new regu-
lations were made ; improvements in diet and
clothing introduced ; the funds of the school were
entrusted to the management of a committee. Mr.
Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family con-
nections, could not be overlooked, still retained the
post of treasurer ; but he was aided in the dis-

charge of his duties by gentlemen of rather more

enlarged and sympathizing minds : his office of
inspector, too, was shared by those who knew how
to combine reason with strictness, comfort with
economy, compassion with uprightness. The school,

thus improved, became in time a truly useful and

noble institution. I remained an inmate of its walls ,
after its regeneration , for eight years-six as pupil,
and two as teacher ; and in both capacities I bear
my testimony to its value and importance.
During these eight years my life was uniform, but
not unhappy, because it was not inactive. I had the
means of an excellent education placed within my
reach ; a fondness for some of my studies , and a
desire to excel in all , together with a great delight
in pleasing my teachers, especially such as I loved,
urged me on : I availed myself fully of the advan-
tages offered me. In time I rose to be the first girl
of the first class ; then I was invested with the office
of teacher ; which I discharged with zeal for two
years ; but at the end of that time I altered.
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 JANE EYRE

Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far

continued superintendent of the seminary to her
instruction I owed the best part ofmy acquirements ;
her friendship and society had been my continual
solace ; she had stood me in the stead of mother,
governess, and latterly, companion. At this period
she married, removed with her husband ( a clergyman,
an excellent man , almost worthy of such a wife) to a
distant county, and consequently was lost to me.
From the day she left I was no longer the same :
with her was gone every settled feeling, every asso-
ciation that had made Lowood in some degree a
home to me. I had imbibed from her something
of her nature and much of her habits ; more har-

monious thoughts ; what seemed better regulated

feelings had become the inmates of my mind. I had
given in allegiance to duty and order ; I was quiet ;
I believed I was content : to the eyes of others ,
usually even to my own, I appeared a disciplined
and subdued character.

But destiny, in the shape of the Rev. Mr. Nasmyth,

came between me and Miss Temple : I saw her in
her travelling dress step into a post- chaise, shortly
after the marriage ceremony. I watched the chaise
mount the hill and disappear beyond its brow ; and
then retired to my own room, and there spent in
solitude the greatest part of the half-holiday granted
in honour of the occasion.
I walked about the chamber most of the time. I

imagined myself only to be regretting my loss , and

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 JANE EYRE

thinking how to repair it ; but when my reflections

were concluded and I looked up and found that the
afternoon was gone, and evening far advanced,
another discovery dawned on me-namely, that in
the interval I had undergone a transforming process ;
that my mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss
Temple or rather, that she had taken with her the
serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her
vicinity-and that now I was left in my natural
element, and beginning to feel the stirring of old
emotions. It did not seem as if a prop were with-
drawn, but rather as if a motive were gone : it was
not the power to be tranquil which had failed me,
but the reason for tranquillity was no more. My
world had for some years been in Lowood : my
experience had been of its rules and systems : now I
remembered that the real world was wide , and that
a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and
excitements, awaited those who had courage to go
forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life
amidst its perils .
I went to my window, opened it, and looked out.
There were the two wings of the building ; there was
the garden ; there were the skirts of Lowood ; there
was the hilly horizon. My eye passed all other
objects to rest on those most remote, the blue peaks.
It was those I longed to surmount ; all within their
boundary of rock and heath seemed prison -ground,
exile limits. I traced the white road winding round
the base of one mountain and vanishing in a gorge

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 JANE EYRE

between two. How I longed to follow it further ! I

recalled the time when I had travelled that very road
in a coach ; I remembered descending that hill at
twilight. An age seemed to have elapsed since the
day which brought me first to Lowood, and I had
never quitted it since. My vacations had all been
spent at school : Mrs. Reed had never sent for me
to Gateshead ; neither she nor any of her family had
ever been to visit me. I had had no communication
by letter or message with the outer world . School
rules , school duties, school habits, and notions, and
voices, and faces , and phrases, and costumes , and
preferences, and antipathies : such was what I knew
of existence. And now I felt that it was not enough :

I tired of the routine of eight years in one afternoon .

I desired liberty ; for liberty I gasped ; for liberty I
uttered a prayer ; it seemed scattered on the wind
then faintly blowing. I abandoned it and framed a
humbler supplication ; for change, stimulus. That
petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space.
" Then," I cried, half desperate, " grant me at least a
new servitude ! "

Here a bell, ringing the hour of supper, called me

downstairs.

I was not free to resume the interrupted chain of

my reflections till bed-time ; even then a teacher who
occupied the same room with me kept me from the
subject to which I longed to recur by a prolonged
effusion of small talk. How I wished sleep would
silence her ! It seemed as if, could I but go back to
139
 JANE EYRE

the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood

at the window, some inventive suggestion would rise
for my relief.
Miss Gryce snored at last ; she was a heavy
Welshwoman, and till now her habitual nasal strains
had never been regarded by me in any other light
than as a nuisance. To-night I hailed the first
deep notes with satisfaction : I was debarrassed
of interruption ; my half- effaced thought instantly
revived.

"A new servitude ! There is something in that,"

I soliloquized (mentally, be it understood ; I did not
talk aloud). " I know there is, because it does not
sound too sweet. It is not like such words as

Liberty, Excitement, Enjoyment : delightful sounds

truly, but no more than sounds for me, and so
hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time
to listen to them. But Servitude ! That must be

matter of fact. Any one may serve I have served

here eight years ; all now I want is to serve else-
where. Can I not get so much of my own will ? Is
not the thing feasible ? Yes-yes-the end is not
difficult ; if I had only a brain active enough to ferret
out the means of attaining it."
I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain.
It was a chilly night ; I covered my shoulders with a
shawl, and then I proceeded to think again with all
my might.
"What do I want ? A new place, in a new house
amongst new faces, under new circumstances I
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 JANE EYRE

want this because it is of no use wanting anything

better. How do people do to get a new place ?
They apply to friends , I suppose. I have no friends.
There are many others who have no friends , who
must look about for themselves and be their own
helpers ; and what is their resource ? "
I could not tell nothing answered me. I then
ordered my brain to find a response, and quickly. It
worked and worked faster : I felt the pulses throb in
my head and temples ; but for nearly an hour it
worked in chaos, and no result came of its efforts.
Feverish with vain labour, I got up and took a turn
in the room ; undrew the curtain , noted a star or two,
shivered with cold, and again crept to bed.
A kind fairy, in my absence, had surely dropped
the required suggestion on my pillow, for as I lay
down it came quietly and naturally to my mind :-
"Those who want situations advertise ; you must
advertise in the -shire Herald."
"How ? I know nothing about advertising."
Replies rose smooth and prompt now.
"You must enclose the advertisement and the
money to pay for it under a cover directed to the
editor of the Herald. You must put it, the first
opportunity you have, into the post at Lowton .
Answers must be addressed to J. E. at the post-office
there. You can go and inquire, in about a week
after you send your letter, if any are come, and act
accordingly. "
This scheme I went over twice, thrice ; it was then
141 .
 JANE EYRE

digested in my mind : I had it in a clear, practical

form ; I felt satisfied and fell asleep.
With earliest day, I was up : I had my advertise-
ment written, enclosed, and directed before the bell
rang to rouse the school ; it ran thus :-
" A young lady accustomed to tuition " (had I not
been a teacher two years ?) " is desirous of meeting
with a situation in a private family where the
children are under fourteen " ( I thought that as I
was barely eighteen, it would not do to undertake
the guidance of pupils nearer my own age). " She is
qualified to teach the usual branches of a good
English education , together with French, Drawing,
and Music " (in those days, reader, this now narrow
catalogue of accomplishments would have been held
tolerably comprehensive) . " Address J. E. , Post
Office, Lowton, ―shire."
This document remained locked in my drawer all
day after tea, I asked leave of the new superinten-
dent to go to Lowton, in order to perform some
small commissions for myself and one or two of my
fellow-teachers ; permission was readily granted ; I
went. It was a walk of two miles, and the evening
was wet, but the days were still long ; I visited a shop
or two, slipped the letter into the post-office, and
came back through heavy rain, with streaming
garments, but with a relieved heart.

The succeeding week seemed long : it came to an

end at last, however, like all sublunary things, and
once more, towards the close of a pleasant autumn
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 JANE EYRE

day, I found myself afoot on the road to Lowton. A

picturesque track it was, by the way ; lying along
the side of the beck and through the sweetest curves
ofthe dale ; but that day I thought more of the letters
that might, or might not be awaiting me at the
little burgh whither I was bound , than ofthe charms
of lea and water.

My ostensible errand on this occasion was to get

measured for a pair of shoes ; so I discharged that
business first, and when it was done I stepped across
the clean and quiet little street from the shoemaker's
to the post-office ; it was kept by an old dame, who
wore horn spectacles on her nose, and black mittens
on her hands.

" Are there any letters for J. E. ? " I asked.

She peered at me over her spectacles, and then
she opened a drawer and fumbled among its contents
for a long time, so long that my hopes began to
falter. At last, having held a document before her
glasses for nearly five minutes, she presented it across
the counter, accompanying the act by another in-
quisitive and mistrustful glance-it was for J. E.
" Is there only one ? " I demanded .
" There are no more," said she ; and I put it in
my pocket and turned my face homeward : I could
not open it then ; rules obliged me to be back by
eight, and it was already half- past seven.
Various duties awaited me on my arrival. I had
to sit with the girls during their hour of study ;
then it was my turn to read prayers ; to see them to
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 JANE EYRE
1
bed ; afterwards I supped with the other teachers.
Even when we finally retired for the night, the
inevitable Miss Gryce was still my companion : we
had only a short end of candle in our candlestick,
and I dreaded lest she should talk till it was all
burnt out ; fortunately, however, the heavy supper
she had eaten produced a soporific effect : she was
already snoring before I had finished undressing.
There still remained an inch of candle ; I now took

out my letter ; the seal was an initial F.; I broke it ;

the contents were brief.

" If J. E. , who advertised in theshire Herald

of last Thursday, possesses the acquirements men-
tioned ; and if she is in a position to give satis-
factory references as to character and competency :
a situation can be offered her where there is but one

pupil, a little girl, under ten years of age and

where the salary is thirty pounds per annum. J. E.

is requested to send references, name, address, and

all particulars to the direction - Mrs. Fairfax,
Thornfield, near Millcote, shire."
I examined the document long : the writing was
old -fashioned and rather uncertain , like that of an
elderly lady. This circumstance was satisfactory :
a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting
for myself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk
of getting into some scrape ; and, above all things,
I wished the result of my endeavours to be respect-
able, proper, en règle. I now felt that an elderly
lady was no bad ingredient in the business I had on
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 JANE EYRE

hand. Mrs. Fairfax ! I saw her in a black gown and

widow's cap ; frigid perhaps , but not uncivil : a
model of elderly English respectability. Thornfield !
that, doubtless, was the name of her house : a neat,
orderly spot, I was sure ; though I failed in my
efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.
Millcote, -shire ; I brushed up my recollections of
the map of England ; yes, I saw it both the shire
and the town. -shire was seventy miles nearer
London than the remote county where I now
resided that was a recommendation to me.. I
longed to go where there was life and movement :
Millcote was a large manufacturing town on the
banks of the A- -, a busy place enough, doubtless :
so much the better ; it would be a complete change
at least. Not that my fancy was much captivated
by the idea of long chimneys and clouds of smoke—
"but," I argued, " Thornfield will, probably, be a
good way from the town . "
Here the socket of the candle dropped , and the
wick went out.

Next day new steps were to be taken my plans

could no longer be confined to my own breast ; I
must impart them in order to achieve their success.
Having sought and obtained an audience of the
superintendent, during the noon-tide recreation , I
told her I had a prospect of getting a new situation
where the salary would be double what I now
received (for at Lowood I only got £ 15 per annum) ;
and requested that she would break the matter for
145 L
 JANE EYRE

me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee,

and ascertain whether they would permit me to
mention them as references . She obligingly con-
sented to act as mediatrix in the matter. The next
day she laid the affair before Mr. Brocklehurst, who
said that Mrs. Reed must be written to, as she was
my natural guardian. A note was accordingly
addressed to that lady, who returned for an answer
that " I might do as I pleased : she had long
relinquished all interference in my affairs." This
note went the round of the committee, and at last,
after what appeared to be most tedious delay,
formal leave was given me to better my condition if
I could, and an assurance added, that as I had
always conducted myself well , both as teacher and
pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character and
capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution ,
should forthwith be furnished me.

This testimonial I accordingly received in about

a month, forwarded a copy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and
got that lady's reply, stating that she was satisfied ,
and fixing that day fortnight as the period for my
assuming the post of governess in her house.
I now busied myself in preparations : the fort-
night passed rapidly. I had not a very large ward-
robe, though it was adequate to my wants ; and
the last day sufficed to pack my trunk -the same
I had brought with me eight years ago from Gates-
head.
The box was corded, the card nailed on. In half
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 JANE EYRE

an hour the carrier was to call for it to take it to

Lowton, whither I myself was to repair at an early
hour the next morning to meet the coach. I had
brushed my black stuff travelling dress, prepared
my bonnet, gloves , and muff ; sought in all my
drawers to see that no article was left behind ; and
now, having nothing more to do, I sat down and
tried to rest. I could not ; though I had been on
foot all day, I could not now repose an instant ; I
was too much excited. A phase of my life was
closing to-night, a new one opening to -morrow :
impossible to slumber in the interval ; I must
watch feverishly while the change was being
accomplished.
" Miss," said a servant who met me in the lobby,
where I was wandering like a troubled spirit, “ a
person below wishes to see you. "
" The carrier, no doubt," I thought, and ran
dowstairs without inquiry. I was passing the back
parlour, or teachers ' sitting-room, the door of which
was half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one
ran out :
" It's her, I am sure I could have told her
anywhere ! " cried the individual who stopped my
progress and took my hand .
I looked ; I saw a woman attired like a well-

dressed servant , matronly , yet still young ; very

good-looking, with black hair and eyes , and lively
complexion.
66
'Well, who is it ? " she asked, in a voice and with
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 JANE EYRE

a smile I half recognized ; " you've not quite for-

gotten me, I think, Miss Jane ? "
In another second I was embracing and kissing
her rapturously : " Bessie ! Bessie ! Bessie ! " that
was all I said ; whereat she half laughed , half cried,
and we both went into the parlour. By the fire
stood a little fellow of three years old, in plaid frock
and trousers .

“ That is my little boy," said Bessie, directly.

" Then you are married, Bessie ? "
" Yes : nearly five years since, to Robert Leaven,
the coachman ; and I've a little girl besides Bobby
there, that I've christened Jane."
" And you don't live at Gateshead ?"

" I live at the lodge : the old porter has left."

" Well, and how do they all get on ? Tell me
everything about them, Bessie : but sit down first ;
and, Bobby, come and sit on my knee, will you ? "
but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother.
66
You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so
very stout," continued Mrs. Leaven. " I dare say
they've not kept you too well at school : Miss Reed
is the head and shoulders taller than you are ; and
Miss Georgiana would make two of you in breadth. "
"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie ? "
"Very. She went up to London last winter with
her mamma, and there everybody admired her, and
a young lord fell in love with her but his relations

were against the match ; and- what do you think ?

-he and Miss Georgiana made it up to run away ;
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 JANE EYRE

but they were found out and stopped. It was Miss

Reed that found them out : I believe she was
envious ; and now she and her sister lead a cat-and-
dog life together ; they are always quarrelling."
66
' Well , and what of John Reed ? "
66
Oh, he is not doing so well as his mamma could
wish. He went to college, and he got-plucked , I
think they call it. And then his uncles wanted him
to be a barrister, and study the law but he is such
a dissipated young man, they will never make much
of him, I think.”
"What does he look like ? "

" He is very tall. Some people call him a fine-

looking young man ; but he has such thick lips."
" And Mrs. Reed ? "
" Missis looks stout and well enough in the face,

but I think she's not quite easy in her mind. Mr.

John's conduct does not please her-he spends a
deal of money."

" Did she send you here, Bessie ? "

"No, indeed ; but I have long wanted to see you ,
and when I heard that there had been a letter from
you, and that you were going to another part of the
country, I thought I'd just set off and get a look at
you before you were quite out of my reach."
" I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie ? "
I said this laughing. I perceived that Bessie's
glance, though it expressed regard, did in no shape
denote admiration.

" No, Miss Jane, not exactly. You are genteel

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enough ; you look like a lady, and it is as much as I

expected of you : you were no beauty as a child. "
I smiled at Bessie's frank answer : I felt that it
was correct, but I confess I was not quite indifferent
to its import. At eighteen most people wish to
please, and the conviction that they have not an
exterior likely to second that desire brings anything
but gratification .
" I dare say you are clever, though," continued
Bessie, by way of solace. " What can you do ? Can
you play on the piano ? "
"A little ."
There was one in the room ; Bessie went and
opened it, and then asked me to sit down and to

give her a tune : I played a waltz or two, and she

was charmed.

"The Miss Reeds could not play as well ! " said

she exultingly. " I always said you would surpass

them in learning and can you draw ? "

" That is one of my paintings over the chimney-
piece." It was a landscape in water- colours, of which
I had made a present to the superintendent, in
acknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the
committee on my behalf, and which she had framed
and glazed .
"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane ! It is as fine
a picture as any Miss Reed's drawing-master could
paint, let alone the young ladies themselves , who
could not come near it and have you learnt
French ?"
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 JANE EYRE

Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it."

" And you can work on muslin and canvas ? "
" I can. "
<<
Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane ! I knew
you would be ; you will get on whether your relations
notice you or not. There was something I wanted
to ask you. Have you ever heard anything from
your father's kinsfolk, the Eyres ? "
" Never in my life. "
66
Well, you know Missis always said they were
poor and quite despicable : and they may be poor ;
but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds
are ; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre
came to Gateshead and wanted to see you. Missis
said you was at school fifty miles off : he seemed so

much disappointed, for he could not stay ; he was

going on a voyage to a foreign country, and the ship
was to sail from London in a day or two . He looked
quite a gentleman, and I believe he was your father's
brother."

" What foreign country was he going to , Bessie ? "

" An island thousands of miles off, where they
make wine- the butler did tell me "
" Madeira ? " I suggested.
" Yes ; that is it that is the very word. "
" So he went ? "
66
'Yes ; he did not stay many minutes in the
house Missis was very high with him ; she called
him afterwards a ' sneaking tradesman. ' My Robert
believes he was a wine merchant."

151
 JANE EYRE

" Very likely," I returned ; " or perhaps clerk or

agent to a wine merchant."
Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour

longer, and then she was obliged to leave me : I saw

her again for a few minutes the next morning at
Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach. We
parted finally at the door of the Brocklehurst Arms
there each went her separate way : she set off for
the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance
which was to take her back to Gateshead ; I mounted
the vehicle which was to bear me to new duties and
a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote.

152
 CHAPTER XI.

A NEW chapter in a novel is something like a new

scene in a play ; and when I draw up the curtain this
time, reader, you must fancy you see a room in the
George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured
papering on the walls as inn rooms have ; such a
carpet, such furniture , such ornaments on the mantel-
piece, such prints, including a portrait of George the
Third, and another of the Prince of Wales , and a
representation of the death of Wolfe. All this is
visible to you by the light of an oil lamp hanging
from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire,
near which I sat in my cloak and bonnet ; my muff
and umbrella lie on the table, and I am warming
away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen
hours ' exposure to the rawness of an October day :
I left Lowton at four o'clock a.m. , and the Millcote
town clock is now just striking eight.
Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated,
I am not very tranquil in my mind. I thought
when the coach stopped here there would be some
one to meet me ; I looked anxiously round as I
descended the wooden steps the " boots " placed for
153
 JANE EYRE

my convenience, expecting to hear my name pro-

nounced, and to see some description of carriage
waiting to convey me to Thornfield. Nothing of the
sort was visible ; and when I asked a waiter if any
one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was
answered in the negative : so I had no resource but
to request to be shown into a private room and here
I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are
troubling my thoughts.
It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced
youth to feel itself quite alone in the world, cut
adrift from every connection , uncertain whether the
port to which it is bound can be reached, and pre-
vented by many impediments from returning to that
it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens
that sensation, the glow of pride warms it ; but then
the throb of fear disturbs it ; and fear with me
became predominant , when half an hour elapsed and
still I was alone. I bethought myself to ring the
bell.

" Is there a place in this neighbourhood called

Thornfield ?" I asked of the waiter who answered
the summons.
Thornfield ? I don't know, ma'am ; I'll inquire at
the bar. " He vanished, but reappeared instantly.
" Is your name Eyre, Miss ? "
" Yes."
" Person here waiting for you. "
I jumped up, took my muff and umbrella, and
hastened into the inn-passage ; a man was standing
154
 JANE EYRE

by the open door, and in the lamp-lit street I dimly

saw a one-horse conveyance .
66
This will be your luggage, I suppose ? " said the
man rather abruptly, when he saw me, pointing to
my trunk in the passage.
" Yes." He hoisted it on to the vehicle, which was
a sort of car, and then I got in : before he shut me
up I asked him how far it was to Thornfield.
A matter of six miles."

" How long shall we be before we get there ? "

66
Happen an hour and a half."
He fastened the car door, climbed to his own seat
outside, and we set off. Our progress was leisurely,
and gave me ample time to reflect : I was content to
be at length so near the end of my journey ; and as
I leaned back in the comfortable though not elegant
conveyance I meditated much at my ease.
" I suppose," thought I, " judging from the plain-
ness of the servant and carriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not
a very dashing person ; so much the better ; I never
lived amongst fine people but once, and I was very
miserable with them. I wonder if she lives alone

except this little girl ; if so , and if she is in any

degree amiable, I shall surely be able to get on with
her ; I will do my best ; it is a pity that doing one's
best does not always answer . At Lowood, indeed,
I took that resolution , kept it, and succeeded in
pleasing ; but with Mrs. Reed I remember my best
was always spurned with scorn. I pray God Mrs.
Fairfax may not turn out a second Mrs. Reed ; but

155
 JANE EYRE

if she does, I am not bound to stay with her ; let the

worst come to the worst I can advertise again .
How far are we on our road now, I wonder ? "
I let down the window and looked out ; Millcote
was behind us ; judging by the number of its lights,
it seemed a place of considerable magnitude, much
larger than Lowton. We were now, as far as I could
see, on a sort of common ; but there were houses
scattered all over the district ; I felt we were in a
different region to Lowood, more populous , less
picturesque ; more stirring, less romantic .
The roads were heavy, the night misty ; my con-
ductor let his horse walk all the way, and the hour
and a half extended , I verily believe, to two hours :
at last he turned in his seat and said,-
" You're noan so far fro' Thornfield now."

Again I looked out : we were passing a church : I

saw its low broad tower against the sky, and its bell
was tolling a quarter ; I saw a narrow galaxy of lights,
too, on a hill-side, marking a village or hamlet.
About ten minutes after, the driver got down and
opened a pair of gates ; we passed through, and they
clashed to behind us. We now slowly ascended a

drive, and came upon the long front of a house :

candle-light gleamed from one curtained bow-
window ; all the rest were dark. The car stopped at
the front door ; it was opened by a maid- servant ; I
alighted and went in.
"Will you walk this way, ma'am ? " said the girl ;
and I followed her across a square hall with high doors
156
 JANE EYRE

all round : she ushered me into a room whose

double illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled

me, contrasting as it did with the darkness to which

my eyes had been for two hours inured ; when I
could see, however, a cosy and agreeable picture
presented itself to my view.
A snug, small room ; a round table by a cheerful
fire ; an arm- chair, high-backed and old-fashioned,
wherein sat the neatest imaginable little elderly lady,
in widow's cap , black silk gown and snowy muslin
apron ; exactly like what I had fancied Mrs. Fairfax,
only less stately and milder looking. She was

occupied in knitting ; a large cat sat demurely at her

feet ; nothing in short was wanting to complete
the beau-ideal of domestic comfort. A more re-
assuring introduction for a new governess could
scarcely be conceived : there was no grandeur to
overwhelm , no stateliness to embarrass ; and then,
as I entered, the old lady got up and promptly and
kindly came forward to meet me.
" How do you do, my dear ? I am afraid you have
had a tedious ride ; John drives so slowly ; you must
be cold, come to the fire."
" Mrs. Fairfax, I suppose ? " said I.
" Yes, you are right : do sit down."
She conducted me to her own chair, and then
began to remove my shawl and untie my bonnet-
strings : I begged she would not give herself so much
trouble.

" Oh, it is no trouble ; I dare say your own hands

157
 JANE EYRE

are almost numbed with cold. Leah, make a little

hot negus and cut a sandwich or two : here are the
""
keys of the store-room.'
And she produced from her pocket a most house-
wifely bunch of keys, and delivered them to the
servant.
"Now, then, draw nearer to the fire," she con-
tinued. "You've brought your luggage with you,

haven't you, my dear ? "

" Yes, ma'am. ”
" I'll see it carried into your room," she said, and
bustled out.
"She treats me like a visitor," thought I. "I

little expected such a reception ; I anticipated only

coldness and stiffness : this is not like what I have
heard of the treatment of governesses ; but I must
not exult too soon."
She returned ; with her own hands cleared her
knitting apparatus and a book or two from the table
to make room for the tray which Leah now brought,
and then herself handed me the refreshments. I
felt rather confused at being the object of more
attention than I had ever before received , and that,
too, shown by my employer and superior ; but as she
did not herself seem to consider she was doing any-
thing out of her place, I thought it better to take
her civilities quietly.
" Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax
to-night ? " I asked, when I had partaken of what
she offered me.
158
 JANE EYRE

"What did you say, my dear ? I am a little deaf,"

returned the good lady, approaching her ear to my
mouth.

I repeated the question more distinctly.

"Miss Fairfax ? Oh, you mean Miss Varens !

Varens is the name of your future pupil."

" Indeed ! Then she is not your daughter ? "
" No I have no family."
I should have followed up my first inquiry by
asking in what way Miss Varens was connected with
her ; but I recollected it was not polite to ask too
many questions : besides, I was sure to hear in time.
" I am so glad," she continued , as she sat down
opposite to me, and took the cat on her knee-" I

am so glad you are come ; it will be quite pleasant

living here now with a companion . To be sure it is
pleasant at any time ; for Thornfield is a fine old

hall, rather neglected of late years, perhaps, but still

it is a respectable place ; yet you know in winter
time one feels dreary quite alone in the best quarters.
say alone- Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John
and his wife are very decent people ; but then you
see they are only servants, and one can't converse
with them on terms of equality ; one must keep them
at due distance, for fear of losing one's authority.
I'm sure last winter (it was a very severe one, if you
recollect, and when it did not snow, it rained and
blew) not a creature but the butcher and postman
came to the house, from November till February ;
and I really got quite melancholy with sitting night
159
 JANE EYRE

after night alone ; I had Leah in to read to me some-

times ; but I don't think the poor girl liked the task
much she felt it confining. In spring and summer
one got on better : sunshine and long days make
such a difference ; and then, just at the commence-
ment of this autumn, little Adela Varens came and
her nurse : a child makes a house alive all at once ;
and now you are here I shall be quite gay."
My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I
heard her talk ; and I drew my chair a little nearer
to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she might
find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.
"But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night,"
said she ; " it is on the stroke of twelve now, and you

have been travelling all day ; you must feel tired . If

you have got your feet well warmed I'll show you
your bedroom. I've had the room next to mine pre-
pared for you : it is only a small apartment, but I
thought you would like it better than one of the
large front chambers : to be sure, they have finer
furniture, but they are so dreary and solitary, I never
sleep in them myself."
I thanked her for her considerate choice , and as I

really felt fatigued with my long journey, expressed

my readiness to retire. She took her candle, and I
followed her from the room. First she went to see if

the hall door was fastened ; having taken the key

from the lock, she led the way upstairs. The steps
and banisters were of oak ; the staircase window was
high and latticed ; both it and the long gallery into
160
 JANE EYRE

which the bedroom doors opened looked as if they

belonged to a church rather than a house. A very

chill and vault- like air pervaded the stairs and

gallery, suggesting cheerless ideas of space and soli-
tude ; and I was glad when finally ushered into my
chamber to find it of small dimensions, and furnished
in ordinary modern style.
When Mrs. Fairfax had bidden me a kind good-
night, and I had fastened my door, gazed leisurely
round, and in some measure effaced the eerie im-
pression made by that wide hall, that dark and
spacious staircase, and that long, cold gallery, by the
livelier aspect of my little room, I remembered that
after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety I was
now at last in safe haven. The impulse of grati-
tude swelled my heart, and I knelt down at the bed-
side, and offered up thanks where thanks were due ;
not forgetting, ere I rose, to implore aid on my
further path, and the power of meriting the kindness
which seemed so frankly offered to me before it was
earned. My couch had no thorns in it that night ;
my solitary room no fear. At once weary and con-
tent, I slept soon and soundly : when I awoke it was
broad day.
The chamber looked such a bright little place to
me as the sun shone in between the gay blue chintz
window curtains, showing papered walls and a
carpeted floor, so unlike the bare planks and stained
plaster of Lowood, that my spirits rose at the view.
Externals have a great effect on the young : I
161 M
 JANE EYRE

thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for

me, one that was to have its flowers and pleasures , as
well as its thorns and toils. My faculties, roused by
the change of scene, the new field offered to hope,
seemed all astir. I cannot precisely define what
they expected, but it was something pleasant : not
perhaps that day or that day month, but at an in-
definite future period.

I rose ; I dressed myself with care : obliged to be

plain-for I had no article of attire that was not
made with extreme simplicity-I was still by nature
solicitous to be neat. It was not my habit to be dis-

regardful of appearance, or careless of the impres-

sion I made ; on the contrary, I ever wished to look
as well as I could, and to please as much as my want
of beauty would permit. I sometimes regretted that
I was not handsomer : I sometimes wished to have

rosy cheeks, a straight nose, and small cherry mouth ;

I desired to be tall, stately, and finely developed in
figure ; I felt it a misfortune that I was so little, so
pale, and had features so irregular and so marked.
And why had I these aspirations and these regrets ?
It would be difficult to say : I could not then dis-
tinctly say it to myself ; yet I had a reason, and a
logical, natural reason too. However, when I had
brushed my hair very smooth, and put on my black
frock-which, Quaker-like as it was, at least had the
merit of fitting to a nicety-and adjusted my clean
white tucker, I thought I should do respectably
enough to appear before Mrs. Fairfax ; and that my
162
 JANE EYRE

new pupil would not at least recoil from me with

antipathy. Having opened my chamber window,
and seen that I left all things straight and neat on
the toilet table, I ventured forth.
Traversing the long and matted gallery, I de-
scended the slippery steps of oak ; then I gained the
hall I halted there a minute ; I looked at some

pictures on the walls (one I remember represented a

grim man in a cuirass, and one a lady with powdered
hair and a pearl necklace), at a bronze lamp pendent
from the ceiling, at a great clock, whose case was of
oak curiously carved, and ebon black with time and
rubbing. Everything appeared very stately and im-
posing to me but then I was so little accustomed to
grandeur. The hall door, which was half of glass ,
stood open ; I stepped over the threshold. It was a
fine autumn morning ; the early sun shone serenely
on embrowned groves and still green fields ; advanc-
ing on to the lawn, I looked up and surveyed the
front of the mansion. It was three storeys high, of
proportions not vast, though considerable : a gentle-
man's manor-house, not a nobleman's seat : battle-
ments round the top gave it a picturesque look. Its
grey front stood out well from the background of a
rookery, whose cawing tenants were now on the wing.
They flew over the lawn and grounds to alight in a
great meadow, from which these were separated by a
sunk fence, and where an array of mighty old thorn-
trees, strong, knotty, and broad as oaks, at once ex-
plained the etymology of the mansion's designation.
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 JANE EYRE

Farther off were hills : not so lofty as those round

Lowood, nor so craggy, nor so like barriers of
separation from the living world ; but yet quiet and
lonely hills enough, and seeming to embrace Thorn-
field with a seclusion I had not expected to find exis-
tent so near the stirring locality of Millcote. A little
hamlet, whose roofs were blent with trees, straggled
up the side of one of these hills ; the church of the
district stood nearer Thornfield : its old tower-top
looked over a knoll between the house and gates.
I was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant
fresh air, yet listening with delight to the cawing of
the rooks, yet surveying the wide, hoary front of the
hall, and thinking what a great place it was for one
lonely little dame like Mrs. Fairfax to inhabit, when
that lady appeared at the door.
" What ! out already ? " said she. " I see you are
an early riser." I went up to her, and was received
with an affable kiss and shake of the hand .
" How do you like Thornfield ? " she asked. I

told her I liked it very much.

"Yes," she said, " it is a pretty place ; but I fear
it will be getting out of order, unless Mr. Rochester
should take it into his head to come and reside here
permanently ; or, at least, visit it rather oftener.
Great houses and fine grounds require the presence
of the proprietor ."
" Mr. Rochester ! " I exclaimed. "Who is he ? "
"The owner of Thornfield," she responded quietly.
" Did you not know he was called Rochester ? "
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 JANE EYRE

Of course I did not : I had never heard of him

before ; but the old lady seemed to regard his

existence as a universally understood fact, with
which everybody must be acquainted by instinct.
" I thought," I continued, " Thornfield belonged
to you ."

"To me ? Bless you, child ; what an idea ! To

me ? I am only the housekeeper -the manager.

To be sure, I am distantly related to the Rochesters

by the mother's side-or, at least, my husband was .
He was a clergyman, incumbent of Hay- that little
village yonder on the hill-and that church near the
gates was his . The present Mr. Rochester's mother
was a Fairfax, and second cousin to my husband ;
but I never presume on the connection- in fact it is
nothing to me. I consider myself quite in the light
of an ordinary housekeeper. My employer is always
""
civil, and I expect nothing more.'
" And the little girl-my pupil ? "
" She is Mr. Rochester's ward. He commissioned
me to find a governess for her. He intends to have
her brought up in -shire, I believe. Here she
comes with her ' bonne,' as she calls her nurse." The
enigma then was explained : this affable and kind
little widow was no great dame, but a dependent
like myself. I did not like her the worse for

that ; on the contrary, I felt better pleased than

ever. The equality between her and me was real :
not the mere result of condescension on her part :
so much the better-my position was all the freer.

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 JANE EYRE

As I was meditating on this discovery, a little

girl, followed by her attendant, came running up the

lawn. I looked at my pupil, who did not at first
appear to notice me. She was quite a child-
perhaps seven or eight years old-slightly built,
with a pale, small-featured face, and a redundancy
of hair falling in curls to her waist.
"Good-morning, Miss Adela," said Mrs. Fairfax.
" Come and speak to the lady who is to teach you,
and to make you a clever woman some day." She
approached.
" C'est là ma gouvernante ? " said she, pointing
to me, and addressing her nurse, who answered :-
" Mais oui, certainement."
" Are they foreigners ? " I inquired, amazed at
hearing the French language.
“ The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on
the Continent ; and, I believe, never left it till
within six months ago. When she first came here
she could speak no English ; now she can make shift
to talk it a little. I don't understand her, she mixes
it so with French ; but you will make out her
meaning very well, I dare say."
Fortunately I had had the advantage of being
taught French by a French lady ; and as I had
always made a point of conversing with Madame
Pierrot, as often as I could, and had, besides, during
the last seven years, learnt a portion of French by
heart daily-applying myself to take pains with my
accent, and imitating as closely as possible the
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 JANE EYRE

pronunciation of my teacher I had acquired a

certain degree of readiness and correctness in the
language, and was not likely to be much at a loss
with Mademoiselle Adela. She came and shook
hands with me when she heard that I was her
governess ; and, as I led her in to breakfast, I
addressed some phrases to her in her own tongue :
she replied briefly at first, but after we were seated
at the table, and she had examined me some ten
minutes with her large hazel eyes, she suddenly
commenced chattering fluently.
" Ah ! " cried she in French, " you speak my

language as well as Mr. Rochester does : I can talk

to you as I can to him, and so can Sophie. She
will be glad : nobody here understands her : Madame
Fairfax is all English. Sophie is my nurse ; she
came with me over the sea in a great ship with a
chimney that smoked- how it did smokę !-and I
was sick, and so was Sophie, and so was Mr.

Rochester. Mr. Rochester lay down on a sofa in a

pretty room called the salon, and Sophie and I had
little beds in another place. I nearly fell out of
mine ; it was like a shelf. And, Mademoiselle
what is your name ? "
" Eyre Jane Eyre."
" Aire ? Bah ! I cannot say it. Well our ship
stopped in the morning, before it was quite day-
light, at a great city-a huge city, with very dark
houses and all smoky ; not at all like the pretty
clean town I came from ; and Mr. Rochester carried
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 JANE EYRE

me in his arms over a plank to the land, and Sophie

came after, and we all got into a coach, which took
us to a beautiful large house, larger than this and
finer, called an hotel. We stayed there nearly a
week I and Sophie used to walk every day in a
great green place full of trees, called the Park ; and

there were many children there besides me, and

a pond with beautiful birds in it, that I fed with
crumbs. "

" Can you understand her when she runs on so

fast ?" asked Mrs. Fairfax.

I understood her very well, for I had been

accustomed to the fluent tongue of Madame Pierrot.
" I wish," continued the good lady, " you would
ask her a question or two about her parents. I
wonder if she remembers them ? "

" Adèle," I inquired , " with whom did you live when
you were in that pretty clean town you spoke of ? "
" I lived long ago with mamma ; but she is gone
to the Holy Virgin. Mamma used to teach me to
dance and sing, and to say verses. A great many

gentlemen and ladies came to see mamma, and

I used to dance before them, or to sit on their
knees and sing to them : I liked it. Shall I let you
hear me sing now ? "
She had finished her breakfast, so I permitted
her to give a specimen of her accomplishments.
Descending from her chair, she came and placed
herself on my knee ; then, folding her little hands
demurely before her, shaking back her curls , and
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 JANE EYRE

lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced

singing a song from some opera. It was the strain
of a forsaken lady, who, after bewailing the perfidy
of her lover, calls pride to her aid ; desires her
attendant to deck her in her brightest jewels and
richest robes, and resolves to meet the false one
that night at a ball, and prove to him, by the gaiety
of her demeanour, how little his desertion has
affected her.
The subject seemed strangely chosen for an infant
singer but I suppose the point of the exhibition lay
in hearing the notes of love and jealousy warbled
with the lisp of childhood ; and in very bad taste
that point was at least I thought so.
Adèle sang the canzonette tunefully enough, and
with the naiveté of her age. This achieved, she
jumped from my knee and said, " Now, mademoiselle ,

I will repeat you some poetry.”

Assuming an attitude, she began " La Ligue des
Rats ; fable de La Fontaine. " She then declaimed
the little piece with an attention to punctuation
and emphasis, a flexibility of voice, and an appro-
priateness of gesture, very unusual indeed at her
age, and which proved she had been carefully
trained.

" Was it your mamma who taught you that piece ? "
I asked.
" Yes ; and she just used to say it in this way :
'Qu'avez vous donc lui dit un de ces rats ;
parlez ! ' She made me lift my hand- so- to
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 JANE EYRE

remind me to raise my voice at the question. Now,

shall I dance for you ? "
66
No ; that will do. But after your mamma went
to the Holy Virgin, as you say, with whom did you
live then ? "
"With Madame Frédéric and her husband : she
took care of me, but she is nothing related to me.
I think she is poor, for she had not so fine a house
as mamma. I was not long there. Mr. Rochester
asked me if I would like to go and live with him in
England, and I said yes ; for I knew Mr. Rochester
before I knew Madame Frédéric, and he was always
kind to me, and gave me pretty dresses and toys :
but you see he has not kept his word, for he has
brought me to England, and now he has gone back
again himself, and I never see him."
After breakfast, Adèle and I withdrew to the
library ; which room , it appears, Mr. Rochester had
directed should be used as the schoolroom. Most
of the books were locked up behind glass doors ; but
there was one book-case left open containing every-
thing that could be needed in the way of elementary
works , and several volumes of light literature, poetry,
biography, travels , a few romances, etc. I suppose
he had considered that these were all the governess

would require for her private perusal ; and, indeed,

they contented me amply for the present ; com-
pared with the scanty pickings I had now and then
been able to glean at Lowood, they seemed to offer
an abundant harvest of entertainment and informa-

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 JANE EYRE

tion. In this room, too, there was a cabinet piano,

quite new and of superior tone ; also an easel for
painting, and a pair of globes.
I found my pupil sufficiently docile, though dis-
inclined to apply : she had not been used to regular
occupation of any kind. I felt it would be inju-
dicious to confine her too much at first ; so, when I
had talked to her a great deal, and got her to learn
a little, and when the morning had advanced to
noon, I allowed her to return to her nurse. I then
proposed to occupy myself till dinner-time in
drawing some little sketches for her use.

As I was going upstairs to fetch my portfolio and

pencils, Mrs. Fairfax called to me : " Your morning
school- hours are over now, I suppose," said she.
She was in a room the folding doors of which stood
open : I went in when she addressed me : It was a
large, stately apartment, with purple chairs and cur-
tains , a Turkey carpet, walnut- panelled walls , one
vast window rich in stained glass, and a lofty ceiling,
nobly moulded . Mrs. Fairfax was dusting some vases
of fine purple spar, which stood on a side -board.
"What a beautiful room ! " I exclaimed , as I
looked round ; for I had never before seen any half
so imposing.
"Yes ; this is the dining-room . I have just
opened the window to let in a little air and sunshine ;
for everything gets so damp in apartments that are
seldom inhabited : the drawing-room yonder feels
like a vault."

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 JANE EYRE

She pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the

window, and hung like it with a Tyrian -dyed curtain,
now looped up. Mounting to it by two broad steps
and looking through , I thought I caught a glimpse
of a fairy place, so bright to my novice eyes
appeared the view beyond. Yet it was merely a
very pretty drawing-room, and within it a boudoir,
both spread with white carpets, on which seemed
laid brilliant garlands of flowers ; both ceiled with
snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine -leaves,
beneath which glowed in rich contrast crimson
couches and ottomans ; while the ornaments on the
pale parian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian
glass, ruby red ; and between the windows large
mirrors repeated the general blending of snow and fire.
" In what order you keep these rooms, Mrs.
Fairfax ! " said I. " No dust, no canvas coverings :

except that the air feels chilly, one would think they
were inhabited daily."
"6
Why, Miss Eyre, though Mr. Rochester's visits
here are rare, they are always sudden and unex-
pected ; and as I observed that it put him out to find
everything swathed up, and to have a bustle of
arrangement on his arrival, I thought it best to keep
the rooms in readiness."
" Is Mr. Rochester an exacting, fastidious sort of
man ?"

"Not particularly so ; but he has a gentleman's

tastes and habits , and he expects to have things
managed in conformity to them. "
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 JANE EYRE

" Do you like him ? Is he generally liked ? "

" Oh yes ; the family have always been respected
here. Almost all the land in this neighbourhood, as
far as you can see, has belonged to the Rochesters
time out of mind."
66
Well , but, leaving his land out of the question ,
do you like him ? Is he liked for himself ?'
" I have no cause to do otherwise than like him ;
and I believe he is considered a just and liberal
landlord by his tenants : but he has never lived much
amongst them. ”
" But has he no peculiarities ? What, in short, is
his character ? "
“ Oh ! his character is unimpeachable, I suppose.

He is rather peculiar, perhaps he has travelled a

great deal, and seen a great deal of the world, I
should think. I dare say he is clever : but I never
had much conversation with him."

" In what way is he peculiar ? "

" I don't know-it is not easy to describe-nothing
striking, but you feel it when he speaks to you : you
cannot be always sure whether he is in jest or
earnest, whether he is pleased or the contrary ; you
don't thoroughly understand him, in short-at least ,
I don't but it is of no consequence, he is a very
good master. "
This was all the account I got from Mrs. Fairfax,
of her employer and mine. There are people who
seem to have no notion of sketching a character, or
observing and describing salient points, either in
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 JANE EYRE

persons or things : the good lady evidently belonged

to this class ; my queries puzzled , but did not draw
her out. Mr. Rochester was Mr. Rochester in her

eyes ; a gentleman, a landed proprietor- nothing

more she inquired and searched no further, and
evidently wondered at my wish to gain a more
definite notion of his identity.
When we left the dining-room, she proposed to
show me over the rest of the house : and I followed
her upstairs and downstairs , admiring as I went ; for

all was well arranged and handsome. The large

front chambers I thought especially grand ; and some
of the third-storey rooms, though dark and low, were
interesting from their air of antiquity. The furniture
once appropriated to the lower apartments had from
time to time been removed here, as fashions

changed ; and the imperfect light entering by their

narrow casements showed bedsteads of a hundred

years old ; chests in oak or walnut, looking, with their

strange carvings of palm branches and cherubs'
heads, like types of the Hebrew ark ; rows of
venerable chairs , high-backed and narrow ; stools

still more antiquated , on whose cushioned tops were

yet apparent traces of half- effaced embroideries,
wrought by fingers that for two generations had been
coffin -dust. All these relics gave to the third storey
of Thornfield Hall the aspect of a home of the past
-a shrine of memory. I liked the hush , the gloom,

the quaintness of these retreats in the day ; but I by

no means coveted a night's repose on one of those
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 JANE EYRE

wide and heavy beds : shut in, some of them, with

doors of oak ; shaded , others, with wrought old
English hangings crusted with thick work, portray-
ing effigies of strange flowers , and stranger birds,
and strangest human beings , —all which would have
looked strange, indeed, by the pallid gleam of moon-
light.
" Do the servants sleep in these rooms ? " I asked.
66
No ; they occupy a range of smaller apartments
to the back ; no one ever sleeps here. One would
almost say that if there were a ghost at Thornfield
Hall this would be its haunt. "

" So I think. You have no ghost, then ? "

" None that I ever heard of," returned Mrs. Fair-
fax, smiling.
"Nor any traditions of one ? No legends or ghost
stories ? "

" I believe not. And yet it is said the Rochesters

have been rather a violent than a quiet race in their
time : perhaps , though, that is the reason they rest
tranquilly in their graves now."
"Yes after life's fitful fever they sleep well,' ” I
muttered. "Where are you going now, Mrs. Fair-
fax ? " for she was moving away.

" On to the leads ; will you come and see the view
from thence ?" I followed still, up a very narrow
staircase to the attics, and thence by a ladder and
through a trap-door to the roof of the hall. I was
now on a level with the crow colony, and could see
into their nests. Leaning over the battlements and
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 JANE EYRE

looking far down, I surveyed the grounds laid out

like a map the bright and velvet lawn closely
girdling the grey base of the mansion ; the field,
wide as a park, dotted with its ancient timber ; the
wood, dun and sere, divided by a path visibly over-
grown, greener with moss than the trees were with

foliage ; the church at the gates, the road, the

tranquil hills, all reposing in the autumn day's sun ;
the horizon bounded by a propitious sky, azure,
marbled with pearly white. No feature in the scene
was extraordinary, but all was pleasing. When I
turned from it and repassed the trap-door, I could
scarcely see my way down the ladder ; the attic
seemed black as a vault compared with that arch of
blue air to which I had been looking up, and to
that sunlit scene of grove, pasture, and green hill of
which the hall was the centre, and over which I had
been gazing with delight.
Mrs. Fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten
the trap-door ; I, by dint ofgroping, found the outlet
from the attic, and proceeded to descend the narrow
garret staircase. I lingered in the long passage to
which this led, separating the front and back rooms
of the third storey- narrow, low, and dim, with only
one little window at the far end, and looking, with
its two rows of small black doors all shut, like a
corridor in some Bluebeard's castle.

While I paced softly on, the last sound I expected

to hear in so still a region, a laugh, struck my ear.
It was a curious laugh-distinct, formal, mirthless . I
176
 JANE EYRE

stopped : the sound ceased, only for an instant ;

it began again, louder for at first, though distinct,
it was very low. It passed off in a clamorous peal
that seemed to wake an echo in every lonely
chamber, though it originated but in one, and I
could have pointed out the door whence the accents
issued.
" Mrs. Fairfax ! " I called out for I now heard

her descending the great stairs, " Did you hear

that loud laugh ? Who is it ? "
"Some of the servants , very likely," she answered ;
"perhaps Grace Poole."
" Did you hear it ? " I again inquired.
66
' Yes, plainly ; I often hear her. She sews in one
of these rooms. Sometimes Leah is with her ; they

are frequently noisy together."

The laugh was repeated in its low, syllabic tone,
and terminated in an odd murmur.
" Grace ! " exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax.

I really did not expect any Grace to answer : for

the laugh was as tragic, as preternatural a laugh as
any I ever heard ; and, but that it was high noon,
and that no circumstance of ghostliness accompanied
the curious cachinnation ; but that neither scene nor
season favoured fear, I should have been super-
stitiously afraid. However, the event showed me I
was a fool for entertaining a sense even of surprise.
The door nearest me opened, and a servant came
out a woman of between thirty and forty ; a set,
square- made figure, red -haired, and with a hard,
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 JANE EYRE

plain face any apparition less romantic or less

ghostly could scarcely be conceived.
" Too much noise, Grace," said Mrs. Fairfax.
"Remember directions ! " Grace curtsied silently
and went in .

" She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah

in her housemaid's work," continued the widow ;
" not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but
she does well enough. By-the-bye, how have you
got on with your new pupil this morning ? "
The conversation , thus turned on Adèle, continued
till we reached the light and cheerful region below.
Adèle came running to meet us in the hall, ex-
claiming—
"Mesdames , vous êtes servies ! " adding, " J'ai
bien faim, moi ! "
We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in
Mrs. Fairfax's room.

178
 CHAPTER XII.

THE promise of a smooth career, which my first

calm introduction to Thornfield Hall seemed to

pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance

with the place and its inmates. Mrs. Fairfax turned
out to be what she appeared, a placid-tempered,
kind-natured woman, of competent education and
average intelligence. My pupil was a lively child,
who had been spoilt and indulged , and therefore
was sometimes wayward ; but as she was committed
entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference
from any quarter ever thwarted my plans for her
improvement, she soon forgot her little freaks, and
became obedient and teachable. She had no great
talents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar
development of feeling or taste which raised her one
inch above the ordinary level of childhood ; but
neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk
her below it. She made reasonable progress, enter-
tained for me a vivacious, though perhaps not very

profound, affection ; and by her simplicity, gay

prattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return ,
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 JANE EYRE

with a degree of attachment sufficient to make us

both content in each other's society.
This, parparénthèse, will be thought cool language
by persons who entertain solemn doctrines about

the angelic nature of children, and the duty of those

charged with their education to conceive for them
an idolatrous devotion : but I am not writing to
flatter parental egotism, to echo cant, or prop up
humbug ; I am merely telling the truth. I felt a
conscientious solicitude for Adèle's welfare and
progress, and a quiet liking to her little self ; just as
I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a thankfulness for
her kindness , and a pleasure in her society propor-
tionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and
the moderation of her mind and character.
Anybody may blame me who likes when I add
further, that, now and then, when I took a walk by
myself in the grounds ; when I went down to the
gates and looked through them along the road ; or
when, while Adèle played with her nurse, and Mrs.
Fairfax made jellies in the store-room, I climbed the
three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic,
and having reached the leads, looked out afar over
sequestered field and hill, and along dim sky- line-
that then I longed for a power of vision which might
overpass that limit ; which might reach the busy
world, towns, regions full of life I had heard of but
never seen ; that then I desired more of practical
experience than I possessed ; more of intercourse
with my kind, of acquaintance with variety of
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 JANE EYRE

character, than was here within my reach. I valued

what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good
in Adèle ; but I believed in the existence of other
and more vivid kinds of goodness , and what I
believed in I wished to behold.

Who blames me ? Many, no doubt ; and I shall

be called discontented. I could not help it ; the
restlessness was in my nature ; it agitated me to
pain sometimes. Then my sole relief was to walk
along the corridor of the third storey, backwards and
forwards, safe in the silence and solitude of the spot,
and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright

visions rose before it-and, certainly, they were

many and glowing ; to let my heart be heaved by the
exultant movement which, while it swelled it in
trouble, expanded it with life ; and, best of all, to
open my inward ear to a tale that was never ended-
a tale my imagination created, and narrated con-
tinuously ; quickened with all of incident, life, fire,
feeling, that I desired and had not in my actual
existence .

It is in vain to say human beings ought to be

satisfied with tranquillity : they must have action ;
and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions
are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and
millions are in silent revolt against their lot.
Nobody knows how many rebellions besides political
rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people
the earth. Women are supposed to be very calm
generally but women feel just as men feel ; they
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 JANE EYRE

need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their

efforts as much as their brothers do ; they suffer
from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation,
precisely as men would suffer ; and it is narrow-
minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to
say that they ought to confine themselves to making
puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the
piano and embroidering bags . It is thoughtless to
condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do
more or learn more than custom has pronounced
necessary for their sex.

When thus alone, I not unfrequently heard Grace

Poole's laugh : the same peal, the same low, slow
ha ha ! which, when first heard, had thrilled me : I
heard, too, her eccentric murmurs ; stranger than
her laugh. There were days when she was quite
silent ; but there were others when I could not
account for the sounds she made. Sometimes I saw
her she would come out of her room with a basin,
or a plate, or a tray in her hand, go down to the
kitchen, and shortly return, generally (oh, romantic
reader, forgive me for telling the plain truth) bearing
a pot of porter. Her appearance always acted as a
damper to the curiosity raised by her oral oddities :
hard-featured and staid, she had no point to which
interest could attach. I made some attempts to
draw her into conversation, but she seemed a person
of few words : a monosyllabic reply usually cut short
every effort of that sort.
The other members of the household, viz. , John
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 JANE EYRE

and his wife, Leah the housemaid, and Sophie the

French nurse, were decent people ; but in no respect
remarkable with Sophie I used to talk French, and
sometimes I asked her questions about her native
country ; but she was not of a descriptive or narrative
turn, and generally gave such vapid and confused
answers as were calculated rather to check than

encourage inquiry.
October, November, December passed away. One
afternoon in January, Mrs. Fairfax had begged a
holiday for Adèle, because she had a cold ; and , as
Adèle seconded the request with an ardour that
reminded me how precious occasional holidays had
been to me in my own childhood , I accorded it,
deeming that I did well in showing pliability on the
point. It was a fine, calm day, though very cold ; I
was tired of sitting still in the library through a whole
long morning : Mrs. Fairfax had just written a letter
which was waiting to be posted, so I put on my
bonnet and cloak and volunteered to carry it to Hay ;
the distance, two miles, would be a pleasant winter
afternoon walk. Having seen Adèle comfortably

seated in her little chair by Mrs. Fairfax's parlour

fireside, and given her her best wax doll (which I
usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a drawer)
to play with, and a story-book for change of amuse-
ment ; and having replied to her " Revenez bientôt,
ma bonne amie, ma chère Mdlle. Jeannette " with a
kiss, I set out.
The ground was hard, the air was still, my road
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 JANE EYRE

was lonely ; I walked fast till I got warm, and then I

walked slowly to enjoy and analyze the species of
pleasure brooding for me in the hour and situation.
It was three o'clock ; the church bell tolled as I
passed under the belfry : the charm of the hour lay
in its approaching dimness, in the low-gliding and
pale-beaming sun. I was a mile from Thornfield, in
a lane noted for wild roses in summer, for nuts and
blackberries in autumn, and even now possessing a

few coral treasures in hips and haws, but whose best

winter delight lay in its utter solitude and leafless
repose. If a breath of air stirred, it made no sound
here ; for there was not a holly, not an evergreen to
rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes
were as still as the white, worn stones which cause-
wayed the middle of the path. Far and wide, on
each side, there were only fields, where no cattle now
browsed ; and the little brown birds, which stirred
occasionally in the hedge, looked like single russet
leaves that had forgotten to drop.
This lane inclined uphill all the way to Hay : having
reached the middle, I sat down on the stile which led
thence into a field. Gathering my mantle about me,
and sheltering my hands in my muff, I did not feel
the cold, though it froze keenly ; as was attested by
a sheet of ice covering the causeway, where a little
brooklet, now congealed , had overflowed after a rapid
thaw some days since. From my seat I could
look down on Thornfield : the grey and battlemented
hall was the principal object in the vale below me ;
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its woods and dark rookery rose against the west. I

lingered till the sun went down amongst the trees,
and sank crimson and clear behind them. I then
turned eastward.
On the hill-top above me sat the rising moon ;
pale yet as a cloud, but brightening momently ; she

looked over Hay, which, half lost in trees, sent up a

blue smoke from its few chimneys ; it was yet a mile
distant, but in the absolute hush I could hear

plainly its thin murmurs of life. My ear too felt the

flow of currents ; in what dales and depths I could
not tell but there were many hills beyond Hay, and
doubtless many becks threading their passes. That
evening calm betrayed alike the tinkle of the
nearest streams , the sough of the most remote.
A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and
whisperings , at once so far away and so clear : a
positive tramp, tramp ; a metallic clatter, which
effaced the soft wave-wanderings , as, in a picture,
the solid mass of a crag, or the rough boles of a
great oak, drawn in dark and strong on the fore-
ground, efface the aerial distance of azure hill ,
sunny horizon, and blended clouds, where tint melts
into tint.

The din was on the causeway : a horse was

coming ; the windings of the lane yet hid it, but it
approached. I was just leaving the stile ; yet, as the
path was narrow, I sat still to let it go by. In those
days I was young, and all sorts of fancies bright and
dark tenanted my mind : the memories of nursery
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 JANE EYRE

stories were there amongst other rubbish ; and when

they recurred, maturing youth added to them a
vigour and vividness beyond what childhood could
give. As this horse approached, and as I watched
for it to appear through the dusk, I remembered
certain of Bessie's tales, wherein figured a North-of-
England spirit, called a " Gytrash " ; which, in the
form of horse, mule, or large dog, haunted solitary
ways, and sometimes came upon belated travellers ,
as this horse was now coming upon me.
It was very near, but not yet in sight ; when, in
addition to the tramp, tramp, I heard a rush under
the hedge, and close down by the hazel-stems glided
a great dog, whose black and white colour made him

a distinct object against the trees. It was exactly

one mask of Bessie's Gytrash, —a lion-like creature
with long hair and a huge head : it passed me,
however, quietly enough ; not staying to look up,
with strange pretercanine eyes , in my face, as I half
expected it would. The horse followed, a tall
steed, and on its back a rider. The man, the

human being, broke the spell at once. Nothing

ever rode the Gytrash : it was always alone ; the
goblins, to my notions, though they might tenant
the dumb carcases of beasts, could scarce covet
shelter in the commonplace human form. No Gytrash
was this-only a traveller taking the short cut to
Millcote. He passed and I went on ; a few steps ,
and I turned ; a sliding sound, and an exclamation
of"What the deuce is to do now ? " and a clattering
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 JANE EYRE

tumble arrested my attention. Man and horse were

down ; they had slipped on the sheet of ice which
glazed the causeway. The dog came bounding
back, and seeing his master in a predicament, and
hearing the horse groan , barked till the evening
hills echoed the sound, which was deep in propor-

tion to his magnitude. He snuffed round the

prostrate group, and then he ran up to me ; it was
all he could do there was no other help at hand
to summon. I obeyed him, and walked down to the

traveller, by this time struggling himself free of his

steed. His efforts were so vigorous, I thought
he could not be much hurt ; but I asked him the
question :-
" Are you injured, sir ? "
I think he was swearing, but am not certain ;
however, he was pronouncing some formula which
prevented him from replying to me directly.
" Can I do anything ? " I asked again.
" You must just stand on one side," he answered ,
as he rose, first to his knees, then to his feet. I did ;
whereupon began a heaving, stamping, clattering
process, accompanied by a barking and baying
which removed me effectually some yards' distance ;
but I would not be driven quite away till I saw the
event. This was finally fortunate ; the horse was re-
established, and the dog was silenced with a " Down,
Pilot ! " The traveller now, stooping, felt his foot

and leg, as if trying whether they were sound ;

apparently something ailed them, for he halted
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to the stile whence I had just risen, and sat

down.

I was in the mood for being useful, or at least

officious, I think, for I now drew near him again.
If you are hurt, and want help , sir, I can fetch

some one either from Thornfield Hall or from Hay."

" Thank you ; I shall do I have no broken bones ,
-only a sprain ; " and again he stood up and tried
his foot, but the result extorted an involuntary
66
" Ugh ! "
Something of daylight still lingered , and the moon
was waxing bright ; I could see him plainly. His
figure was enveloped in a riding-cloak, fur-collared ,
and steel-clasped ; its details were not apparent,
but I traced the general points of middle height,
and considerable breadth of chest. He had a dark
face, with stern features and a heavy brow ; his eyes
and gathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted
just now ; he was past youth, but had not reached
middle age ; perhaps he might be thirty-five. I
felt no fear of him, and but little shyness. Had he
been a handsome, heroic-looking young gentleman,
I should not have dared to stand thus questioning
him against his will, and offering my services
unasked. I had hardly ever seen a handsome
youth ; never in my life spoken to one. I had a
theoretical reverence and homage for beauty,
elegance, gallantry, fascination ; but had I met
those qualities incarnate in masculine shape, I
should have known instinctively that they neither
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 JANE EYRE

had nor could have sympathy with anything in me,

and should have shunned them as one would fire,

lightning, or anything else that is bright but

antipathetic.
If even this stranger had smiled and been good-
humoured to me when I addressed him ; if he had
put off my offer of assistance gaily and with thanks ,
I should have gone on my way and not felt any
vocation to renew inquiries : but the frown , the
roughness of the traveller set me at my ease : I
retained my station when he waved me to go, and
announced :-

" I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an

hour, in this solitary lane, till I see you are fit to
mount your horse."
He looked at me when I said this : he had hardly
turned his eyes in my direction before.

" I should think you ought to be at home yourself,"

said he, " if you have a home in this neighbourhood.
Where do you come from ? "
" From just below ; and I am not at all afraid of
being out late when it is moonlight : I will run
over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it ;
indeed, I am going there to post a letter."
"You live just below-do you mean at that house
with the battlements ? " pointing to Thornfield Hall,
on which the moon cast a hoary gleam, bringing it
out distinct and pale from the woods that, by con-
trast with the western sky, now seemed one mass of
shadow.
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 JANE EYRE

" Yes, sir. "

"Whose house is it ? "
" Mr. Rochester's."
"Do you know Mr. Rochester ?
No, I have never seen him."
" He is not resident, then ?"
" No."
" Can you tell me where he is ? "
"I cannot. "
" You are not a servant at the hall, of course.
You are " He stopped, ran his eye over my dress ,
which, as usual, was quite simple ; a black merino
cloak, a black beaver bonnet ; neither of them half
fine enough for a lady's-maid. He seemed puzzled

to decide what I was : I helped him.

" I am the governess ."
" Ah, the governess ! " he repeated ; " deuce take
me, if I had not forgotten ! The governess ! " and
again my raiment underwent
scrutiny. In two
minutes he rose from the stile ; his face expressed
pain when he tried to move.
" I cannot commission you to fetch help," he said ;
" but you may help me a little yourself, if you will
be so kind.'
66
Yes, sir. "
" You have not an umbrella that I can use as a
stick ?"
" No."

"Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him

to me : you are not afraid ? "
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 JANE EYRE

I should have been afraid to touch a horse when

alone, but when told to do it I was disposed to
obey. I put down my muff on the stile, and went
up to the tall steed ; I endeavoured to catch the
bridle, but it was a spirited thing, and would not
let me come near its head ; I made effort an effort,
though in vain meantime I was mortally afraid
of its trampling fore -feet. The traveller waited
and watched for some time, and at last he

laughed.
" I see," he said ; " the mountain will never be
brought to Mahomet, so all you can do is to aid
Mahomet to go to the mountain ; I must beg of you
come here."
I came. " Excuse me," he continued ; " necessity

compels me to make you useful. " He laid a heavy

hand on my shoulder, and , leaning on me with some
stress, limped to his horse. Having once caught the
bridle, he mastered it directly, and sprang to his
saddle ; grimacing grimly as he made the effort, for
it wrenched his sprain.
" Now," said he, releasing his under-lip from a hard
bite, " just hand me my whip ; it lies there under
the hedge ."
I sought it and found it.
" Thank you ; now make haste with the letter to
Hay, and return as fast as you can. "
A touch of a spurred heel made his horse first
start and rear, and then bound away ; the dog rushed
in his traces : all three vanished-
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 JANE EYRE

"Like heath, that in the wilderness ,

The wild wind whirls away."

I took up my muff and walked on. The incident

had occurred and was gone for me : it was an in-
cident of no moment, no romance, no interest in a
sense ; yet it marked with a change one single hour
of a monotonous life. My help had been needed
and claimed ; I had given it : I was pleased to have
done something ; trivial, transitory though the deed
was, it was yet an active thing, and I was weary of
an existence all passive. The new face, too, was
like a new picture introduced to the gallery of
memory ; and it was dissimilar to all the others hang-
ing there : firstly, because it was masculine ; and,
secondly, because it was dark, strong and stern. I
had it still before me when I entered Hay, and
slipped the letter into the post-office ; I saw it as I
walked fast down hill all the way home. When I
came to the stile, I stopped a minute, looked round
and listened, with an idea that a horse's hoofs might
ring on the causeway again, and that a rider in
a cloak, and a Gytrash-like Newfoundland dog,
might be again apparent : I saw only the hedge and
a pollard willow before me, rising up still and
straight to meet the moonbeams ; I heard only the
faintest waft of wind roaming fitful among the trees
round Thornfield , a mile distant ; and when I
glanced down in the direction of the murmur, my
eye, traversing the hall front, caught a light kindling
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 JANE EYRE

in a window : it reminded me that I was late and

I hurried on.

I did not like re- entering Thornfield . To pass its

threshold was to return to stagnation ; to cross the
silent hall, to ascend the darksome staircase, to seek
my own lonely little room, and then to meet tranquil
Mrs. Fairfax, and spend the long winter evening with
her, and her only, was to quell wholly the faint ex-
citement wakened by my walk,-to slip again over
my faculties the viewless fetters of a uniform and too
still existence ; of an existence whose very privileges
of security and ease I was becoming incapable of
appreciating. What good it would have done me at
that time to have been tossed in the storms of an

uncertain struggling life, and to have been taught

by rough and bitter experience to long for the calm
amidst which I now repined ! Yes ; just as much
good as it would do a man tired of sitting still in a
" too easy chair " to take a long walk and just as
natural was the wish to stir, under my circumstances,
as it would be under his.

I lingered at the gates ; I lingered on the lawn ; I

paced backwards and forwards on the pavement : the
shutters of the glass -door were closed ; I could not
see into the interior : and both my eyes and spirit
seemed drawn from the gloomy house-from the
grey hollow filled with rayless cells, as it appeared to
me to that sky expanded before me, —a blue sea
absolved from taint of cloud ; the moon ascending it
in solemn march ; her orb seeming to look up as she
193 0
 JANE EYRE

left the hill- tops , from behind which she had come,
far and farther below her, and aspired to the zenith ,
midnight dark in its fathomless depth and measure-
less distance and for those trembling stars that
followed her course ; they made my heart tremble,
my veins glow, when I viewed them. Little things
recall us to earth : the clock struck in the hall ; that
sufficed ; I turned from moon and stars, opened a
side door, and went in.
The hall was not dark, nor yet was it lit, only by
the high-hung bronze lamp. A warm glow suffused
both it and the lower steps of the oak staircase.
This ruddy shine issued from the great dining-room,
whose two-leaved door stood open, and showed a
genial fire in the grate, glancing on marble hearth
and brass fire-irons, and revealing purple draperies
and polished furniture, in the most pleasant radiance.
It revealed , too, a group near the mantelpiece : I
had scarcely caught it, and scarcely become aware of
a cheerful mingling of voices, amongst which I
seemed to distinguish the tones of Adèle, when the
door closed.
I hastened to Mrs. Fairfax's room. There was a

fire there too, but no candle, and no Mrs. Fairfax.

Instead, all alone, sitting upright on the rug, and
gazing with gravity at the blaze, I beheld a great
black and white long-haired dog, just like the
Gytrash of the lane. It was so like it that I went
forward and said,-

" Pilot," and the thing got up and came to me and

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 JANE EYRE

snuffed me. I caressed him, and he wagged his

great tail : but he looked an eerie creature to be

alone with, and I could not tell whence he had come.
I rang the bell, for I wanted a candle ; and I wanted ,
too, to get an account of this visitant . Leah
entered .

" What dog is this ? "

"He came with master."
"With whom ? "
"With master- Mr. Rochester - he is just
arrived ."
" Indeed ! And is Mrs. Fairfax with him ?"
" Yes, and Miss Adela ; they are in the dining-
room , and John is gone for a surgeon, for master has
had an accident ; his horse fell, and his ankle is
sprained. "
" Did the horse fall in Hay Lane ?"
" Yes, coming down hill ; it slipped on some ice. "
" Ah ! Bring me a candle, will you , Leah ? "
Leah brought it ; she entered, followed by Mrs.
Fairfax, who repeated the news, adding that Mr.
Carter, the surgeon, was come, and was now with
Mr. Rochester : then she hurried out to give orders
about tea, and I went upstairs to take off my things.

195
 CHAPTER XIII.

MR. ROCHESTER , it seems, by the surgeon's orders,

went to bed early that night ; nor did he rise soon
next morning. When he did come down , it was to
attend to business : his agent and some of his
tenants were arrived, and waiting to speak with him.
Adèle and I had now to vacate the library : it
would be in daily requisition as a reception-room for
callers. A fire was lit in an apartment upstairs, and
there I carried our books, and arranged it for the
future schoolroom. I discerned in the course of the
morning that Thornfield Hall was a changed place .
No longer silent as a church, it echoed every hour or
two to a knock at the door or a clang of the bell ;
steps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices
spoke in different keys below. A rill from the outer
world was flowing through it ; it had a master : for
my part, I liked it better.

Adèle was not easy to teach that day ; she could

not apply : she kept running to the door and look-
ing over the banisters to see if she could get a
glimpse of Mr. Rochester ; then she coined pretexts
to go downstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected,
to visit the library, where I knew she was not wanted ;
196
 JANE EYRE

then, when I got a little angry, and made her still,

she continued to talk incessantly of her " ami,
Monsieur Edouard Fairfax de Rochester," as she
dubbed him ( I had not before heard his prenomens),
and to conjecture what presents he had brought her ;
for it appears he had intimated the night before that,
when his luggage came from Millcote, there would
be found amongst it a little box in whose contents
she had an interest.

" Et cela doit signifier," said she, “ qu'il y aura là

dedans un cadeau pour moi , et peut- être pour vous
aussi , mademoiselle. Monsieur a parlé de vous : il
m'a demandé le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle
n'était pas une petite personne, assez mince et un
peu pâle. J'ai dit qu'oui : car c'est vrai, n'est ce
pas, mademoiselle ? "
I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's

parlour ; the afternoon was wild and snowy, and

we passed it in the schoolroom. At dark I

allowed Adèle to put away books and work, and

to run downstairs ; for, from the comparative
silence below, and from the cessation of appeals to
the door-bell, I conjectured that Mr. Rochester was
now at liberty. Left alone, I walked to the window ;
but nothing was to be seen thence. Twilight and
snowflakes together thickened the air, and hid the
very shrubs on the lawn. I let down the curtain and
went back to the fireside.

In the clear embers I was tracing a view, not

unlike a picture I remembered to have seen of the
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 JANE EYRE

castle of Heidelberg, on the Rhine, when Mrs.

Fairfax came in, breaking up by her entrance the
fiery mosaic I had been piecing together, and
scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts that
were beginning to throng on my solitude.
"Mr. Rochester would be glad if you and your
pupil would take tea with him in the drawing- room
this evening," said she. "He has been so much
engaged all day that he could not ask to see you
before."
"When is his tea- time ? " I inquired.
66
'Oh, at six o'clock. He keeps early hours in the
country. You had better change your frock now ;
I will go with you and fasten it. Here is a
candle. "
""
" Is it necessary to change my frock ?
66
' Yes, you had better. I always dress for the
evening when Mr. Rochester is here."
This additional ceremony seemed somewhat
stately however, I repaired to my room, and, with
Mrs. Fairfax's aid, replaced my black stuff dress by
one of black silk ; the best and the only additional
one I had, except one of light grey, which, in my
Lowood notions of the toilette, I thought too fine to
be worn, except on first-rate occasions.
" You want a brooch," said Mrs. Fairfax. I had a
single little pearl ornament which Miss Temple gave
me as a parting keepsake. I put it on, and then
we went downstairs. Unused as I was to strangers ,
it was rather a trial to appear thus formally
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 JANE EYRE

summoned in Mr. Rochester's presence. I let Mrs.

Fairfax precede me into the dining- room , and kept
in her shade as we crossed that apartment ; and ,
passing the arch, whose curtain was now dropped,
entered the elegant recess beyond.
Two wax candles stood lighted on the table, and
two on the mantelpiece ; basking in the light and
heat of a superb fire, lay Pilot-Adèle knelt near
him. Half reclined on a couch appeared Mr.
Rochester, his foot supported by the cushion ; he
was looking at Adèle and the dog : the fire shone
full on his face. I knew my traveller with his broad
and jetty eyebrows, his square forehead, made
squarer by the horizontal sweep of his black hair.
I recognized his decisive nose, more remarkable for
character than beauty ; his full nostrils, denoting, I
thought, choler ; his grim mouth, chin, and jaw—
yes, all three were very grim, and no mistake.
His shape, now divested of cloak , I perceived
harmonized in squareness with his physiognomy :
I suppose it was a good figure in the athletic sense
of the term-broad -chested and thin-flanked, though
neither tall nor graceful.
Mr. Rochester must have been aware of the

entrance of Mrs. Fairfax and myself ; but it

appeared he was not in the mood to notice us, for
he never lifted his head as we approached.
" Here is Miss Eyre, sir," said Mrs. Fairfax in her
quiet way. He bowed, still not taking his eyes
from the group of the dog and child.
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 JANE EYRE

" Let Miss Eyre be seated," said he ; and there

was something in the forced stiff bow, in the
impatient yet formal tone, which seemed further to
express , "What the deuce is it to me whether Miss

Eyre be there or not ? At this moment I am not

disposed to accost her. "

I sat down quite disembarrassed. A reception of

finished politeness would probably have confused
me : I could not have returned or repaid it by
answering grace and elegance on my part ; but
harsh caprice laid me under no obligation ; on the
contrary, a decent quiescence, under the freak of
manner, gave me the advantage. Besides, the
eccentricity of the proceeding was piquant : I felt
interested to see how he would go on.
He went on as a statue would, that is , he neither
spoke nor moved. Mrs. Fairfax seemed to think it
necessary that someone should be amiable, and she
began to talk. Kindly, as usual -and, as usual,
rather trite-she condoled with him on the pressure
of business he had had all day ; on the annoyance it
must have been to him with that painful sprain :
then she commended his patience and perseverance
in going through with it.
66
Madame, I should like some tea," was the sole
rejoinder she got. She hastened to ring the bell ;
and, when the tray came, she proceeded to arrange
the cups, spoons, etc. , with assiduous celerity. I
and Adèle went to the table ; but the master did not
leave his couch.
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 JANE EYRE

" Will you hand Mr. Rochester's cup ? " said Mrs.
Fairfax to me ; " Adèle might perhaps spill it."
I did as requested. As he took the cup from my

hand, Adèle, thinking the moment propitious for

making a request in my favour, cried out :—
" N'est- ce pas , monsieur, qu'il y a un cadeau
pour Mademoiselle Eyre, dans votre petit coffre ? "
"Who talks of cadeaux ? " said he gruffly ; " did
you expect a present, Miss Eyre ? Are you fond of
presents ? " and he searched my face with eyes that
I saw were dark, irate, and piercing.
" I hardly know, sir ; I have little experience of
them they are generally thought pleasant things ."
"Generally thought ? But what do you think ? "
" I should be obliged to take time, sir, before I
could give you an answer worthy ofyour acceptance :
a present has many faces to it, has it not ? and one
should consider all, before pronouncing an opinion
as to its nature."

" Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as

Adèle she demands a ' cadeau ,' clamorously, the
moment she sees me you beat about the bush. "
" Because I have less confidence in my deserts
than Adèle has. She can prefer the claim of old
acquaintance, and the right too of custom ; for she
says you have always been in the habit of giving her
playthings ; but if I had to make out a case I should
be puzzled, since I am a stranger, and have done
nothing to entitle me to an acknowledgment."
" Oh, don't fall back on over-modesty ! I have
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 JANE EYRE

examined Adèle, and find you have taken great

pains with her she is not bright, she has no
talents ; yet in a short time she has made much
improvement."
" Sir, you have now given me my ' cadeau ' ; I am
obliged to you : it is the meed teachers most covet ;
praise of their pupils' progress . "
"Humph ! " said Mr. Rochester, and he took his
tea in silence.
"Come to the fire," said the master, when the
tray was taken away, and Mrs. Fairfax had settled
into a corner with her knitting ; while Adèle was
leading me by the hand round the room, showing
me the beautiful books and ornaments on the
consoles and chiffonnières. We obeyed, as in duty
bound ; Adèle wanted to take a seat on my knee,
but she was ordered to amuse herself with Pilot.
" You have been resident in my house three
months ? "
66
Yes, sir."
"And you came from- ? "
" From Lowood school, in —shire. "
" Ah ! a charitable concern. -How long were you
there ?"
66
Eight years ."
66
Eight years ! you must be tenacious of life. I

thought half the time in such a place would have

done up any constitution ! No wonder you have
rather the look of another world. I marvelled
where you had got that sort of face. When you
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 JANE EYRE

came on me in Hay Lane last night I thought

unaccountably of fairy tales, and had half a mind to
demand whether you had bewitched my horse : I
am not sure yet. Who are your parents ? "
""
" I have none."
" Nor ever had, I suppose : do you remember
them ? "
" No."

" I thought not. And so you were waiting for

your people when you sat on that stile ? "
" For whom, sir ? "
"For the men in green : it was a proper moon-
light evening for them. Did I break through one of
your rings, that you spread that damned ice on the
causeway ? "
I shook my head. "The men in green all forsook

England a hundred years ago," said I , speaking as

seriously as he had done. " And not even in Hay
Lane, or the fields about it, could you find a trace of
them. I don't think either summer or harvest, or
winter moon will ever shine on their revels more."

Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with

raised eyebrows, seemed wondering what sort of talk
this was .

"Well," resumed Mr. Rochester, " if you disown

parents, you must have some sort of kinsfolk : uncles
and aunts ? "
"No ; none that I ever saw."
66 And your home ? "
" I have none."

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 JANE EYRE

"Where do your brothers and sisters live ? "

" I have no brothers or sisters ."

"Who recommended you to come here ? "

" I advertised, and Mrs. Fairfax answered my
advertisement."
"Yes," said the good lady, who now knew what
ground we were upon, " and I am daily thankful
for the choice Providence led me to make . Miss

Eyre has been an invaluable companion to me, and

a kind and careful teacher to Adèle."

"Don't trouble yourself to give her a character,"

returned Mr. Rochester : " eulogiums will not bias
me ; I shall judge for myself. She began by felling
my horse."
" Sir ? " said Mrs. Fairfax.
" I have to thank her for this sprain ."
The widow looked bewildered .

" Miss Eyre, have you ever lived in a town ? "

No , sir. "

" Have you seen much society ?"

"None but the pupils and teachers of Lowood ;
and now the inmates of Thornfield ."

" Have you read much ? "

66
' Only such books as came in my way ; and they
have not been numerous, or very learned. "
"You have lived the life of a nun : no doubt you

are well drilled in religious forms ;-Brocklehurst,

who I understand directs Lowood, is a parson, is he
not ?"
"Yes , sir. "
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 JANE EYRE

" And you girls probably worshipped him, as a

convent full of religieuses would worship their
director. "
" Oh, no."
" You are very cool ! No ! What ! a novice not
worship her priest ! That sounds blasphemous. ”
" I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst ; and I was not
alone in the feeling. He is a harsh man ; at once
pompous and meddling : he cut off our hair ; and
for economy's sake bought us bad needles and
thread, with which we could hardly sew."
" That was very false economy," remarked Mrs.
Fairfax, who now again caught the drift of the
dialogue.
"And was that the head and front of his offend-
ing ? " demanded Mr. Rochester.
"He starved us when he had sole superintendence
of the provision department, before the committee
was appointed ; and he bored us with long lectures
once a week, and with evening readings from books
of his own inditing, about sudden deaths and judg-
ments, which made us afraid to go to bed."
"What age were you when you went to Lowood ? "
"About ten."

" And you stayed there eight years : you are now,
then, eighteen ? "
I assented.
"Arithmetic, you see, is useful ; without its aid I
should hardly have been able to guess your age. It

is a point difficult to fix where the features and coun-

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 JANE EYRE

tenance are so much at variance as in your case.

And now what did you learn at Lowood ? Can you
play? "
" A little."
" Of course ; that is the established answer. Go

into the library.—-I

I mean , ifyou please. (Excuse my
tone of command ; I am used to say ' Do this ,' and it
is done ; I cannot alter my customary habits for one
new inmate. ) - Go , then, into the library ; take a
candle with you ; leave the door open ; sit down to
the piano, and play a tune."
I departed , obeying his directions.
" Enough ! " he called out in a few minutes.
" You play a little, I see ; like any other English
school-girl : perhaps rather better than some, but not
well. "

I closed the piano, and returned. Mr. Rochester

continued.
"Adèle showed me some sketches this morning,

which she said were yours. I don't know whether

they were entirely of your doing : probably a master
aided you ? "
" No , indeed ! " I interjected.
" Ah ! that pricks pride. Well, fetch me your
portfolio, if you can vouch for its contents being
original ; but don't pass your word unless you are
certain I can recognize patchwork."
" Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for
yourself, sir."
I brought the portfolio from the library.
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 JANE EYRE

" Approach the table," said he ; and I wheeled it

to his couch. Adèle and Mrs. Fairfax drew near to
see the pictures .
" No crowding," said Mr. Rochester : " take the
drawings from my hand as I finish with them ; but
don't push your faces up to mine. "
He deliberately scrutinized each sketch and paint-
ing. Three he laid aside ; the others, when he had
examined them, he swept from him.
" Take them off to the other table, Mrs. Fairfax,”
""
said he, " and look at them with Adèle ;-you
(glancing at me) " resume your seat and answer my
questions. I perceive these pictures were done by
one hand was that hand yours ? "
" Yes."

" And when did you find time to do them ? They

have taken much time, and some thought. "
" I did them in the last two vacations I spent at
Lowood, when I had no other occupation. "
"Where did you get your copies ? "
" Out of my head."
"That head I see now on your shoulders ? "
"Yes, sir. "
" Has it other furniture of the same kind within ? '

" I should think it may have : I should hope-

better."

He spread the pictures before him, and again

surveyed them alternately.
While he is so occupied, I will tell you , reader,
what they are and first, I must premise that they are
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 JANE EYRE

nothing wonderful. The subjects had, indeed, risen

vividly on my mind. As I saw them with the

spiritual eye, before I attempted to embody them ,

they were striking ; but my hand would not second
my fancy, and in each case it had wrought out but a
pale portrait of the thing I had conceived.
These pictures were in water- colours. The first
represented clouds low and livid, rolling over a
swollen sea all the distance was in eclipse ; so , too ,
was the foreground , or rather, the nearest billows, for
there was no land. One gleam of light lifted into
relief a half- submerged mast, on which sat a
cormorant, dark and large, with wings flecked with
foam ; its beak held a gold bracelet, set with gems,
that I had touched with as brilliant tints as my
palette could yield, and as glittering distinctness as
my pencil could impart. Sinking below the bird
and mast, a drowned corpse glanced through the
green water ; a fair arm was the only limb clearly
visible, whence the bracelet had been washed or
torn.

The second picture contained for foreground only

the dim peak of a hill, with grass and some leaves,
slanting as if by a breeze. Beyond and above spread
an expanse of sky, dark blue as at twilight : rising
into the sky was a woman's shape to the bust, por-
trayed in tints as dusk and soft as I could combine.
The dim forehead was crowned with a star ; the
lineaments below were seen as through the suffusion
of vapour ; the eyes shone dark and wild ; the hair
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 JANE EYRE

streamed shadowy, like a beamless cloud torn by

storm or by electric travail. On the neck lay a pale
reflection like moonlight ; the faint lustre touched
the train of thin clouds from which rose and bowed
1
this vision of the Evening Star.
4
The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg
piercing a polar winter sky : a muster of northern
lights reared their dim lances , close serried, along the
horizon. Throwing these into distance , rose, in the
foreground, a head, -a colossal head, inclined towards
the iceberg, and resting against it. Two thin hands,
joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew
up before the lower features a sable veil ; a brow
quite bloodless, white as bone, and an eye hollow
and fixed , blank of meaning, but for the glassiness of
despair, alone was visible. Above the temples ,
amidst wreathed turban folds of black drapery,
vague in its character and consistency as cloud,
gleamed a ring of white flame, gemmed with sparkles
of a more lurid tinge. This pale crescent was " The
likeness of a Kingly Crown " ; what it diademed was
99
" the shape which shape had none.
"Were you happy when you painted these
pictures ? " asked Mr. Rochester, presently.
" I was absorbed, sir : yes, and I was happy. To
paint them, in short, was to enjoy one ofthe keenest
pleasures I have ever known. ”
" That is not saying much. Your pleasures, by
your own account, have been few ; but I daresay you
did exist in a kind of artist's dreamland while you
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 JANE EYRE

blent and arranged these strange tints. Did you sit

at them long each day ? "
" I had nothing else to do, because it was the
vacation, and I sat at them from morning till noon,
and from noon till night : the length of the mid-
summer days favoured my inclination to apply."
" And you felt self- satisfied with the result of your
ardent labours ? "
" Far from it. I was tormented by the contrast

between my idea and my handiwork : in each case I

had imagined something which I was quite powerless
to realize. "

"Not quite. You have secured the shadow of

your thought ; but no more, probably. You had not
enough of the artist's skill and science to give it full
being yet the drawings are, for a schoolgirl,
peculiar. As to the thoughts, they are elfish. These
eyes in the Evening Star you must have seen in a
dream. How could you make them look so clear,
and yet not at all brilliant ? for the planet above
quells their rays. And what meaning is that in their
solemn depth ? And who taught you to paint wind ?
There is a high gale in that sky, and on this hill-top.
Where did you see Latmos ? For that is Latmos.
There, put the drawings away."
I had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio , when ,
looking at his watch, he said abruptly, —
" It is nine o'clock : what are you about, Miss
Eyre, to let Adèle sit up so long ? Take her to
bed. "
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 JANE EYRE

Adèle went to kiss him before quitting the room :

he endured the caress , but scarcely seemed to relish
it more than Pilot would have done , nor so much.
" I wish you all good- night, now," said he, making
a movement of the hand towards the door, in token
that he was tired of our company, and wished to
dismiss us. Mrs. Fairfax folded up her knitting : I

took my portfolio : we curtsied to him, received a

frigid bow in return, and so withdrew.
" You said Mr. Rochester was not strikingly

peculiar, Mrs. Fairfax," I observed, when I rejoined

her in her room, after putting Adèle to bed.
66
Well, is he ? "
" I think so ; he is very changeful and abrupt."
" True ! no doubt he may appear so to a stranger ,
but I am so accustomed to his manner ; I never think
of it ; and then, if he has peculiarities of temper,
allowance should be made."
66
Why ?"
" Partly because it is his nature and we can none
of us help our nature ; and, partly, he has painful
thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and make his
spirits unequal."
"What about ? "
66
Family troubles , for one thing. "
" But he has no family. "
"Not now- but he has had-or, at least, relatives.
He lost his elder brother a few years since."
" His elder brother ? "
"Yes. The present Mr. Rochester has not been
211
 JANE EYRE

very long in possession of the property ; only about

""
nine years .

"Nine years is a tolerable time. Was he so very

fond of his brother as to be still inconsolable for his
loss ? "

Why, no- perhaps not. I believe there were

some misunderstandings between them. Mr. Row-

land Rochester was not quite just to Mr. Edward ;

and, perhaps, he prejudiced his father against him.
The old gentleman was fond of money, and anxious
to keep the family estate together. He did not like
to diminish the property by division, and yet he was
anxious that Mr. Edward should have wealth , too, to

keep up the consequence of the name ; and, soon

after he was of age, some steps were taken that were
not quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.
Old Mr. Rochester and Mr. Rowland combined to
bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a painful
position, for the sake of making his fortune : what
the precise nature of that position was I never clearly
knew, but his spirit could not brook what he had to
suffer in it. He is not very forgiving : he broke
with his family, and now for many years he has led
an unsettled kind of life. I don't think he has ever
been resident at Thornfield for a fortnight together,
since the death of his brother without a will left him
master of the estate ; and, indeed, no wonder he
shuns the old place. "
Why should he shun it ? "
"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy."
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 JANE EYRE

The answer was evasive- I should have liked

something clearer ; but Mrs. Fairfax either could

not, or would not, give me more explicit information
of the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.
She averred they were a mystery to herself, and that
what she knew was chiefly from conjecture. It was
evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the
subject, which I did accordingly.

213
 CHAPTER XIV.

FOR several subsequent days I saw little of Mr.

Rochester. In the mornings he seemed much

engaged with business, and , in the afternoon, gentle-

men from Millcote or the neighbourhood called,
and sometimes stayed to dine with him. When his
sprain was well enough to admit of horse exercise , he
rode out a good deal ; probably to return these
visits, as he generally did not come back till late at
night.
During this interval, even Adèle was seldom sent
for to his presence, and all my acquaintance with
him was confined to an occasional rencontre in the

hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would

sometimes pass me haughtily and coldly, just
acknowledging my presence by a distant nod or a
cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with
gentlemanlike affability. His changes of mood did
not offend me, because I saw that I had nothing
to do with their alternation ; the ebb and flow
depended on causes quite disconnected with me.
One day he had had company to dinner, and had
sent for my portfolio ; in order, doubtless, to exhibit
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 JANE EYRE

its contents : the gentlemen went away early, to

attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax
informed me ; but the night being wet and in-
clement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.
Soon after they were gone, he rang the bell a
message came that I and Adèle were to go down-
stairs. I brushed Adèle's hair and made her neat,
and having ascertained that I was myself in my
usual Quaker trim, where there was nothing to
retouch-all being too close and plain, braided
locks included, to admit of disarrangement- we
descended , Adèle wondering whether the petit coffre
was at length come ; for, owing to some mistake,
its arrival had hitherto been delayed. She was
gratified there it stood, a little carton, on the table
when we entered the dining-room . She appeared
to know it by instinct.
" Ma boite ! ma boite ! " exclaimed she, running
towards it.
"Yes there is your ' boite ' at last take it into a
corner, you genuine daughter of Paris, and amuse
yourself with disembowelling it," said the deep and
rather sarcastic voice of Mr. Rochester, proceeding
from the depths of an immense easy chair at the
fireside. "And mind," he continued, " don't bother
me with any details of the anatomical process, or any
notice of the condition of the entrails : let your
operation be conducted in silence : tiens-toi tran-
quille, enfant ; comprends-tu ? "
Adèle seemed scarcely to need the warning ; she
215
 JANE EYRE

had already retired to a sofa with her treasure, and

was busy untying the cord which secured the lid.
Having removed this impediment, and lifted certain
silvery envelopes of tissue paper, she merely
exclaimed :-
" Oh, ciel ! Que c'est beau ! " and then remained
absorbed in ecstatic contemplation .

" Is Miss Eyre there ? " now demanded the master,

half rising from his seat to look round to the door ,
near which I still stood.
" Ah ! well ; come forward : be seated here ." He
drew a chair near his own. " I am not fond of the

prattle of children," he continued ; " for, old

bachelor as I am, I have no pleasant associations

connected with their lisp . It would be intolerable
to me to pass a whole evening tête-a-tête with a brat.
Don't draw that chair further off, Miss Eyre : sit
down exactly where I placed it-if you please, that
is.Confound these civilities ! I continually forget
them. Nor do I particularly affect simple-minded
old ladies. By-the-bye, I must have mine in mind ;
it won't do to neglect her ; she is a Fairfax, or
wed to one ; and blood is said to be thicker than
""
water."

He rang and despatched an invitation to Mrs.

Fairfax, who soon arrived, knitting-basket in hand.
"Good evening, madam ; I sent to you for a
charitable purpose : I have forbidden Adèle to talk

to me about her presents , and she is bursting with

repletion ; have the goodness to serve her as
216
 JANE EYRE

auditress and interlocutrice : it will be one of the

most benevolent acts you ever performed."
Adèle, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax, than
she summoned her to her sofa, and there quickly
filled her lap with the porcelain, the ivory, the
waxen contents of her " boite " ; pouring out, mean-
time, explanations and raptures in such broken
English as she was mistress of.
" Now I have performed the part of a good host,"
pursued Mr. Rochester ; " put my guests into the
way of amusing each other, I ought to be at liberty
to attend to my own pleasure. Miss Eyre, draw your
chair still a little further forward : you are yet too
far back ; I cannot see you without disturbing my
position in this comfortable chair, which I have no
mind to do. ”
I did as I was bid, though I would much rather
have remained somewhat in the shade : but Mr.
Rochester had such a direct way of giving orders, it
seemed a matter of course to obey him promptly.
We were, as I have said, in the dining-room : the
lustre, which had been lit for dinner, filled the room
with a festal breadth of light ; the large fire was all
red and clear ; the purple curtains hung rich and
ample before the lofty window and loftier arch ;
everything was still, save the subdued chat of Adèle

(she dared not speak loud), and, filling up each

pause, the beating of winter rain against the
panes.
Mr. Rochester, as he sat in his damask- covered
217
 JANE EYRE

chair, looked different to what I had seen him look

before ; not quite so stern- much less gloomy.

There was a smile on his lips , and his eyes sparkled ,
whether with wine or not, I am not sure ; but I

think it very probable. He was, in short, in his

after-dinner mood ; more expanded and genial, and
also more self-indulgent than the frigid and rigid
temper of the morning : still he looked preciously
grim, cushioning his massive head against the
swelling back of his chair, and receiving the light
of the fire on his granite-hewn features, and in his
great, dark eyes ; for he had great, dark eyes, and
very fine eyes, too - not without a certain change in
their depths sometimes, which, if it was not softness ,
reminded you, at least, of that feeling.
He had been looking two minutes at the fire, and
I had been looking the same length of time at him,
when, turning suddenly, he caught my gaze fastened
on his physiognomy.
" You examine me, Miss Eyre," said he " do you
think me handsome ? "

I should, if I had deliberated , have replied to this

question by something conventionally vague and
polite ; but the answer somehow slipped from my
tongue before I was aware :-" No , sir. "
" Ah ! By my word ! there is something singular
about you ," said he ; " you have the air of a little
nonette ; quaint , quiet, grave, and simple, as you sit
with your hands before you, and
your eyes generally
bent on the carpet (except, by-the-bye, when they
218
 JANE EYRE

are directed piercingly to my face ; as just now, for

instance) ; and when one asks you a question, o
makes a remark to which you are obliged to reply,
you rap out a round rejoinder, which , if not blunt,
is at least brusque . What do you mean by it ?"
" Sir, I was too plain : I beg your pardon. I ought
to have replied that it was not easy to give an
impromptu answer to a question about appearances ;
that tastes differ ; that beauty is of little conse-
quence, or something of that sort. "

" You ought to have replied no such thing.

Beauty of little consequence , indeed ! And so , under
pretence of softening the previous outrage, of
stroking and soothing me into placidity, you stick a
sly penknife under my ear ! Go on : what fault do
you find with me, pray ? I suppose I have all my
limbs and all features like any other man ? "
"Mr. Rochester, allow me to disown my first

answer : I intended no pointed repartee : it was

only a blunder."
" Just so I think so and you shall be answer-
able for it. Criticize me : does my forehead not
please you ? "
He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay
horizontally over his brow, and showed a solid

enough mass of intellectual organs, but an abrupt

deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence
should have risen.
"Now, ma'am, am I a fool ? "

" Far from it, sir. You would, perhaps, think me

219
 JANE EYRE

chale if I inquired in return whether you are a

bnilanthropist ? "
" There again ! Another stick of the penknife,
when she pretended to pat my head : and that is
because I said I did not like the society of children
and old women (low be it spoken ! ). No , young
lady, I am not a general philanthropist ; but I bear
a conscience ; " and he pointed to the prominences
which are said to indicate that faculty, and which,
fortunately for him, were sufficiently conspicuous ;
giving, indeed, a marked breadth to the upper part
of his head : " and, besides, I once had a kind of
rude tenderness of heart. When I was as old as

you, I was a feeling fellow enough ; partial to the

unfledged , unfostered, and unlucky ; but fortune
has knocked me about since she has even kneaded

me with her knuckles, and now I flatter myself I am

hard and tough as an India-rubber ball ; pervious
though, through a chink or two still, and with one
sentient point in the middle of the lump. Yes :
does that leave hope for me ? "
Hope of what, sir ? "
" Of my final retransformation from India-rubber
back to flesh ? "
66
Decidedly he has had too much wine," I thought ;
and I did not know what answer to make to his
queer question : how could I tell whether he was
capable of being re- transformed ?
" You look very much puzzled, Miss Eyre ; and
though you are not pretty any more than I am
220
 JAN.

handsome, yet a puzzled L

it is convenient, for it keeps
yours away from my physiognom
with the worsted flowers of the rug for
Young lady, I am disposed to be gr
communicative to- night."
With this announcement he rose from his ་
and stood , leaning his arm on the marble mant
piece in that attitude his shape was seen plainly as
well as his face ; his unusual breadth of chest,
disproportionate almost to his length of limb. I
am sure most people would have thought him an
ugly man ; yet there was so much unconscious pride
in his port ; so much ease in his demeanour ; such a
look of complete indifference to his own external
appearance ; so haughty a reliance on the power of
other qualities, intrinsic or adventitious, to atone
for the lack of mere personal attractiveness , that , in
looking at him, one inevitably shared the indifference
and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith in
the confidence.
" I am disposed to be gregarious and communica-
tive to-night,” he repeated ; " and that is why I sent
for you the fire and the chandelier were not
sufficient company for me ; nor would Pilot have
been, for none of these can talk. Adèle is a degree
better, but still far below the mark ; Mrs. Fairfax
ditto ; you, I am persuaded, can suit me if you will :
you puzzled me the first evening I invited you down

here. I have almost forgotten you since : other

221
 JANE EYRE

ideas have driven yours from my head ; but to- night

I am resolved to be at ease ; to dismiss what
importunes and recall what pleases. It would please
me now to draw you out to learn more of you—
therefore speak. "
Instead of speaking , I smiled ; and not a very com-
placent or submissive smile either.
66
Speak," he urged.
"What about, sir ? "
like.
"Whatever you like. I leave both the choice of

subject and the manner of treating it entirely to

yourself. "
Accordingly I sat and said nothing : " If he ex-
pects me to talk for the mere sake of talking and
showing off, he will find he has addressed himself to
the wrong person, " I thought.
""
" You are dumb, Miss Eyre.'
I was dumb still. He bent his head a little
towards me, and with a single hasty glance seemed
to dive into my eyes.
" Stubborn ? " he said, " annoyed .
and annoyed.
" and Ah , it is
consistent. I put my request in an absurd, almost
insolent form. Miss Eyre, I beg your pardon. The
fact is, once for all, I don't wish to treat you like
an inferior that is " (correcting himself) , " I claim
only such superiority as must result from twenty
years' difference in age and a century's advance in
experience. This is legitimate, et j'y tiens, as Adèle
would say, and it is by virtue of this superiority , and
this alone, that I desire you to have the goodness to
222
 JANE EYRE

talk to me a little now, and divert my thoughts,

which are galled with dwelling on one point-
cankering as a rusty nail. "
He had deigned an explanation ; almost an
apology : I did not feel insensible to his condescen-
sion, and would not seem so.

" I am willing to amuse you if I can, sir : quite

willing ; but I cannot introduce a topic, because
how do I know what will interest you ? Ask me
questions, and I will do my best to answer them. "
"Then, in the first place, do you agree with me
that I have a right to be a little masterful, abrupt ;
perhaps exacting, sometimes, on the grounds I
stated : namely, that I am old enough to be your
father, and that I have battled through a varied expe-
rience with many men of many nations, and roamed
over half the globe, while you have lived quietly with
one set of people in one house ? "
" Do as you please, sir."
" That is no answer ; or rather it is a very irritat-
ing, because a very evasive, one. Reply clearly."
" I don't think, sir, you have a right to command
me, merely because you are older than I , or because
you have seen more of the world than I have ; your
claim to superiority depends on the use you have
made of your time and experience ."
" Humph ! Promptly spoken. But I won't allow
that, seeing that it would never suit my case ; as I
have made an indifferent , not to say a bad, use of
both advantages. Leaving superiority out of the
223
 JANE EYRE

question, then, you must still agree to receive my

orders now and then, without being piqued or hurt
by the tone of command- will you ? "
I smiled. I thought to myself, Mr. Rochester is
peculiar he seems to forget that he pays me £30
per annum for receiving his orders.
"The smile is very well," said he, catching in-
stantly the passing expression ; " but speak too. "
" I was thinking, sir, that very few masters would
trouble themselves to inquire whether or not their
paid subordinates were piqued and hurt by their
orders."
" Paid subordinates ! What, you are my paid

subordinate, are you ? Oh, yes , I had forgotten the

salary ! Well, then, on that mercenary ground, will
you agree to let me hector a little ? "

" No, sir, not on that ground ; but on the ground

that you did forget it, and that you care whether or

not a dependent is comfortable in his dependency, I

agree heartily."
" And will you consent to dispense with a great
many conventional forms and phrases, without think-
ing that the omission arises from insolence ? "
" I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality
for insolence : one I rather like, the other nothing
free-born would submit to, even for a salary."
" Humbug ! Most things free-born will submit to
anything for a salary ; therefore, keep to yourself,
and don't venture on generalities of which you are
intensely ignorant. However, I mentally shake
224
 JANE EYRE

hands with you for your answer, despite its inaccuracy ;

and as much for the manner in which it was said as
for the substance of the speech : the manner was
frank and sincere ; one does not often see such a
manner : no, on the contrary, affectation, or coldness ,
or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of one's
meaning are the usual rewards of candour. Not
three in three thousand raw schoolgirl-governesses

would have answered me as you have just done. But

I don't mean to flatter you : if you are cast in a
different mould to the majority, it is no merit of
yours : Nature did it. And then, after all, I go too
fast in my conclusions : for what I yet know, you
may be no better than the rest ; you may have in-
tolerable defects to counterbalance your few good
points."
" And so may you," I thought. My eye met his as
the idea crossed my mind : he seemed to read the
glance, answering as if its import had been spoken
as well as imagined : -
" Yes, yes, you are right," said he ; " I have plenty
of faults of my own : I know it, and I don't wish to
palliate them, I assure you. God wot, I need not
be too severe about others ; I have a past existence,
a series of deeds, a colour of life to contemplate
within my own breast, which might well call my sneers

and censures from my neighbours to myself. I

started, or rather (for, like other defaulters, I like to
lay half the blame on ill -fortune and adverse circum-
stances) was thrust on to a wrong tack, at the age of
225 Q
 JANE EYRE

one-and-twenty, and have never recovered the right

course since. But I might have been very different ;
I might have been as good as you-wiser-almost as
stainless. I envy you your peace of mind, your clean
conscience, your unpolluted memory. Little girl, a
memory without blot or contamination must be an
exquisite treasure-an inexhaustible source of pure
refreshment : is it not ? "
" How was your memory when you were eighteen ,
sir ? "

" All right then ; limpid, salubrious : no gush of

bilge water had turned it to fetid puddle. I was
your equal at eighteen-quite your equal. Nature
meant me to be, on the whole, a good man , Miss
Eyre : one of the better end ; and you see I am not
SO. You would say you don't see it at least I
flatter myself I read as much in your eye (beware,
by-the-bye, what you express with that organ , I am
quick at interpreting its language). Then take my
word for it, I am not a villain, you are not to
suppose that not to attribute to me any such bad
eminence ; but, owing, I verily believe, rather to cir-
cumstances than to my natural bent, I am a trite,
commonplace sinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty
dissipations with which the rich and worthless try to
put on life. Do you wonder that I avow this to you ?
Know, that in the course of your future life you will
often find yourself elected the involuntary confidante
of your acquaintances' secrets : people will instinc-
tively find out, as I have done, that it is not your
226
 JANE EYRE

forte to tell of yourself, but to listen while others

talk of themselves ; they will feel, too , that you listen

with no malevolent scorn of their indiscretion, but

with a kind of innate sympathy, not the less com-

forting and encouraging because it is very unobtrusive
in its manifestations ."

" How do you know ?-how can you guess all this,
sir ? "

" I know it well ; therefore I proceed almost as

freely as if I were writing my thoughts in a diary.
You would say, I should have been superior to cir-
cumstances : so I should-so I should ; but you see
I was not. When fate wronged me, I had not the
wisdom to remain cool : I turned desperate ; then I

degenerated. Now, when any vicious simpleton

excites my disgust by his paltry ribaldry, I cannot
flatter myself that I am better than he : I am forced
to confess that he and I are on a level. I wish I had
stood firm-God knows I do ! Dread remorse when
you are tempted to err, Miss Eyre : remorse is the
poison of life."
66
Repentance is said to be its cure, sir. "
" It is not its cure. Reformation may be its cure ;

and I could reform-I have strength yet for that—if

-but where is the use of thinking of it , hampered,
burdened , cursed as I am ? Besides, since happiness
is irrevocably denied me, I have a right to get
pleasure out of life ; and I will get it, cost what it
may."
" Then you will degenerate still more, sir. "
227
 JANE EYRE

" Possibly yet why should I, if I can get sweet

and fresh pleasure ? And I may get it as sweet and
fresh as the wild honey the bee gathers on the
moor. "

" It will sting- it will taste bitter, sir. "

" How do you know ?-you never tried it. How
very serious-how very solemn you look ; and you
are as ignorant of the matter as this cameo head "
(taking one from the mantelpiece ) . " You have no
right to preach to me, you neophyte, that have not
passed the porch of life, and are absolutely un-
acquainted with its mysteries."
" I only remind you of your own words, sir ; you
said error brought remorse, and you pronounced
""
remorse the poison of existence.'
"And who talks of error now ? I scarcely think
the notion that flittered across my brain was an
error. I believe it was an inspiration rather than a
temptation : it was very genial, very soothing—I
know that. Here it comes again ! It is no devil, I
assure you ; or if it be, it has put on the robes of an
angel of light. I think I must admit so fair a guest
when it asks entrance to my heart."
"Distrust it, sir ; it is not a true angel."
" Once more, how do you know ? By what instinct
do you pretend to distinguish between a fallen
seraph of the abyss and a messenger from the
eternal throne-between a guide and a seducer ? "
" I judged by your countenance, sir, which was
troubled when you said the suggestion had returned
228
 JANE EYRE

upon you. I feel sure it will work you more misery

if you listen to it."
"Not at all- it bears the most gracious message
in the world for the rest, you are not my conscience-
keeper, so don't make yourself uneasy. Here, come
in, bonny wanderer ! "
He said this as if he spoke to a vision , viewless to
any eye but his own ; then, folding his arms, which
he had half extended, on his chest, he seemed to
enclose in their embrace the invisible being.
"Now," he continued, again addressing me, " I
have received the pilgrim-a disguised deity, as I
verily believe. Already it has done me good : my
99
heart was a sort of charnel ; it will now be a shrine.'
"To speak truth, sir, I don't understand you at
all : I cannot keep up the conversation, because it
has got out of my depth . Only one thing I know :
you said you were not as good as you should like to
be, and that you regretted your own imperfection ;
;
one thing I can comprehend ; you intimated that to
have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane. It
seems to me, that if you tried hard, you would in
time find it possible to become what you yourself
would approve ; and that if from this day you began
with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions,
you would in a few years have laid up a new and
stainless store of recollections, to which you might
revert with pleasure."
66
Justly thought ; rightly said, Miss Eyre ; and, at
this moment, I am paving hell with energy."
229
 JANE EYRE

" Sir ? "

"I am laying down good intentions, which I
believe durable as flint. Certainly, my associates
and pursuits shall be other than they have been. "
" And better ? "
" And better- so much better as pure ore is than
foul dross. You seem to doubt me ; I don't doubt
myself: I know what my aim is, what my motives
are ; and at this moment I pass a law, unalterable as
that of the Medes and Persians, that both are right."
"They cannot be, sir, if they require a new statute
to legalize them. "
" They are, Miss Eyre, though they absolutely
require a new statute : unheard- of combinations of
circumstances demand unheard - of rules."
" That sounds a dangerous maxim, sir ; because
one can see at once that it is liable to abuse."
66
Sententious sage ! so it is : but I swear by my
household gods not to abuse it. "
" You are human and fallible."
" I am so are you-what then ?"
" The human and fallible should not arrogate a

power with which the divine and perfect alone can

be safely entrusted. "
"What power ? "
" That of saying of any strange, unsanctioned line
of action-' Let it be right.""
" Let it be right '-the very words : you have
pronounced them."
66
May it be right then," I said, as I rose, deeming
230
 JANE EYRE

it useless to continue a discourse which was all dark-

ness to me ; and, besides, sensible that the character
of my interlocutor was beyond my penetration ; at

least, beyond its present reach ; and feeling the

uncertainty, the vague sense of insecurity, which
accompanies a conviction of ignorance.
"Where are you going ? "
" To put Adèle to bed : it is past her bed- time. "
" You are afraid of me, because I talk like a
Sphinx. "
" Your language is enigmatical, sir : but though I
am bewildered, I am certainly not afraid. "
(6
You are afraid-your self- love dreads a blunder.”
66
In that sense I do feel apprehensive—I have no
wish to talk nonsense."

If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet

manner, I should mistake it for sense. Do you never

laugh, Miss Eyre ? Don't trouble yourself to answer

--I see, you laugh rarely ; but you can laugh very
merrily believe me, you are not naturally austere,
any more than I am naturally vicious. The Lowood
constraint still clings to you somewhat ; controlling
your features, muffling your voice, and restricting
your limbs ; and you fear in the presence of a man
and a brother or father, or master, or what you
will-to smile too gaily, speak too freely, or move too
quickly but, in time, I think you will learn to be
natural with me, as I find it impossible to be conven-
tional with you ; and then your looks and movements
will have more vivacity and variety than they dare
231
 JANE EYRE

offer now. I see at intervals the glance of a curious

sort of bird through the close- set bars of a cage : a
vivid, restless , resolute, captive is there ; were it but
free it would soar cloud -high. You are still bent on
going ? "
" It has struck nine, sir. "
"Never mind- wait a minute : Adèle is not ready
to go to bed yet. My position , Miss Eyre, with my
back to the fire, and my face to the room, favours
observation. While talking to you, I have also
occasionally watched Adèle ; ( I have my own reasons
for thinking her a curious study-reasons that I may
-nay, that I shall-impart to you some day) ; she
pulled out of her box, about ten minutes ago, a little
pink silk frock ; rapture lit her face as she unfolded
it ; coquetry runs in her blood, blends with her
brains , and seasons the marrow of her bones. ' Il
faut que je l'essaie ! ' cried she ; ' et à l'instant
même ! ' and she rushed out of the room. She is

now with Sophie, undergoing a robing process : in a

few minutes she will re-enter ; and I know what I
shall see a miniature of Céline Varens, as she used
to appear on the boards at the rising of -: but never
mind that. However, my tenderest feelings are
about to receive a shock : such is my presentiment ;
stay now, to see whether it will be realized. "

Ere long Adèle's little foot was heard tripping

across the hall. She entered, transformed as her
guardian had predicted. A dress of rose-coloured
satin, very short, and as full in the skirt as it could
232
 JANE EYRE

be gathered, replaced the brown frock she had

previously worn ; a wreath of rosebuds circled her

forehead ; her feet were dressed in silk stockings

and small white satin sandals.
" Est-ce que ma robe va bien ? " cried she, bound-
ing forwards ; " et mes souliers ? et mes bas ? Tenez ,
je crois que je vais danser ! "
And spreading out her dress, she chasséed across
the room ; till, having reached Mr. Rochester, she
wheeled lightly round before him on tip-toe, then
dropped on one knee at his feet , exclaiming :-
" Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre
bonté ; " then rising, she added, " C'est comme cela
que maman faisait, n'est-ce pas, monsieur ? "
" Pre-cise-ly ! " was the answer ; " and comme

cela,' she charmed my English gold out of my

British breeches' pocket. I have been green, too,
Miss Eyre- ay, grass green : not a more vernal tint
freshens you now than once freshened me. My
spring is gone, however, but it has left me that
French floweret on my hands ; which, in some moods,
I would fain be rid of. Not valuing now the root
it sprang ; having found that it was of a sort which
nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half
a liking to the blossom : especially when it looks so
artificial as just now. I keep it and rear it rather on
the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous

sins, great or small, by one good work. I'll explain

all this some day. Good-night. "

233
 CHAPTER XV.

MR. ROCHESTER did, on a future occasion, explain it.

It was one afternoon, when he chanced to meet

me and Adèle in the grounds ; and while she played

with Pilot and her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk
up and down a long beech avenue within sight of
her.
He then said that she was the daughter of a
French opera dancer, Céline Varens, towards whom
he had once cherished what he called a " grande
passion . " This passion Céline had professed to
return with even superior ardour. He thought
himself her idol, ugly as he was he believed, as he
said, that she preferred his " taille d'athlète " to the
elegance of the Apollo Belvidere.
" And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this
preference of the Gallic sylph for her British gnome,
that I installed her in an hotel, gave her a complete
establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres,
diamonds, dentelles, etc. In short, I began the
process of ruining myself in the received style, like
any other spoony. I had not, it seems, the origin-
ality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruc-
234
 JANE EYRE

tion, but trod the old track with stupid exactness,

not to deviate an inch from the beaten centre. I
had as I deserved to have the fate of all other

spoonies. Happening to call one evening when

Céline did not expect me, I found her out ; but it
was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling
through Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir ; happy
to breathe the air consecrated so lately by her
presence. No- I exaggerate ; I never thought there
was any consecrating virtue about her : it was rather
a sort of pastille perfume she had left : a scent of
musk and amber, rather than an odour of sanctity.
I was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of
conservatory flowers and sprinkled essences, when I
bethought myself to open the window and step out
on to the balcony. It was moonlight, and gaslight
besides, and very still and serene.The balcony was
furnished with a chair or two ; I sat down, took out
""
a cigar,—I will take one now, if you will excuse me.'
Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing
and lighting of a cigar ; having placed it to his lips
and breathed a trail of Havannah incense on the

freezing and sunless air, he went on :-

" I liked bonbons, too, in those days, Miss Eyre,
and I was croquant (overlook the barbarism)—
croquant chocolate comfits , and smoking alternately,
watching meantime the equipages that rolled along
the fashionable streets towards the neighbouring

opera-house, when in an elegant close carriage,

drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses , and
235
 JANE EYRE

distinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognized

the ' voiture ' I had given Céline. She was return-
ing of course my heart thumped with impatience
against the iron rails I leant upon. The carriage
stopped, as I had expected, at the hotel door ; my
flame (that is the very word for an opera inamorata)
alighted though muffled in a cloak-an unnecessary
encumbrance by-the-bye on so warm a June evening
-I knew her instantly by her little foot, seen
peeping from the skirt of her dress, as she skipped
from the carriage- step. Bending over the balcony,
I was about to murmur, ' Mon ange ! '-in a tone, of
course, which should be audible to the ear of love

alone-when a figure jumped from the carriage after

her ; cloaked also ; but that was a spurred heel
which had rung on the pavement, and that was a
hatted head which now passed under the arched
porte cochère of the hotel.

" You never felt jealousy, did you , Miss Eyre ?

Of course not : I need not ask you ; because you

never felt love. You have both sentiments yet to

experience : your soul sleeps : the shock is yet to be
given which shall waken it. You think all existence
lapses in as quiet a flow as that in which your youth
has hitherto slid away. Floating on with closed
eyes and muffled ears, you neither see the rocks
bristling not far off in the bed of the flood, nor hear
the breakers boil at their base. But I tell you-and

you may mark my words-you will come some day to

a craggy pass of the channel, where the whole of life's
236
 JANE EYRE

stream will be broken up into whirl and tumult,

foam and noise ; either you will be dashed to atoms
on crag points , or lifted up and borne on by some
master wave into a calmer current-as I am now.

" I like this day : I like that sky of steel ; I like

the sternness and stillness of the world under this

frost. I like Thornfield ; its antiquity ; its retire-

ment ; its old crow-trees and thorn-trees ; its grey
façade, and lines of dark windows reflecting that
metal welkin : and yet how long have I abhorred the
very thought of it ; shunned it like a great plague-
house ! How I do still abhor- "

He ground his teeth and was silent : he arrested

his step and struck his boot against the hard ground.
Some hated thought seemed to have him in its grip,
and to hold him so tightly that he could not
advance.
We were ascending the avenue when he thus

paused ; the hall was before us. Lifting his eye to

its battlements, he cast over them a glare such as I
never saw before or since. Pain, shame, ire-
impatience, disgust, detestation- seemed momen-
tarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large pupil
dilating under his ebon eyebrow. Wild was the
wrestle which should be paramount ; but another
feeling rose and triumphed : something hard and
cynical ; self-willed and resolute : it settled his

passion and petrified his countenance : he went

on :-
" During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre, I
237
 JANE EYRE

was arranging a point with my destiny. She stood

there, by that beech-trunk-a hag like one of those
who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres.
'You like Thornfield ? ' she said, lifting her finger ;
and then she wrote in the air a memento, which ran
in lurid hieroglyphics all along the house-front,
between the upper and lower row of windows.
'Like it if you can ! ' ' Like it if you dare !'
" I will like it,' said I. ' I dare like it ; ' and " (he
subjoined moodily) " I will keep my word : I will
break obstacles to happiness, to goodness-yes, good-
ness ; I wish to be a better man than I have been ;

than I am as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the

dart, and the habergeon, hindrances which others
count as iron and brass , I will esteem but straw and
rotten wood."
Adèle here ran before him with her shuttlecock .

" Away ! " he cried harshly ; " keep at a distance ,

child ; or go in to Sophie ! " Continuing then to
pursue his walk in silence, I ventured to recall him
to the point whence he had abruptly diverged-
" Did you leave the balcony, sir," I asked, " when
Mdlle. Varens entered ? "

I almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well-

timed question : but, on the contrary, waking out of
his scowling abstraction , he turned his eyes towards
me, and the shade seemed to clear off his brow.
" Oh, I had forgotten Céline ! Well , to resume .
When I saw my charmer thus come in accompanied
by a cavalier, I seemed to hear a hiss, and the green
238
 JANE EYRE

snake of jealousy, rising on undulating coils from the

moonlit balcony, glided within my waistcoat, and
ate its way in two minutes to my heart's core.
Strange ! " he exclaimed , suddenly starting again
from the point-" strange that I should choose you
for the confidante of all this , young lady : passing

strange that you should listen to me quietly, as if it

were the most usual thing in the world for a man like
me to tell stories of his opera-mistresses to a quaint,
inexperienced girl like you ! But the last singularity
explains the first, as I intimated once before : you ,
with your gravity, considerateness, and caution, were
made to be the recipient of secrets . Besides, I
know what sort of a mind I have placed in communi-
cation with my own : I know it is one not liable to
take infection : it is a peculiar mind : it is an unique
one. Happily I do not mean to harm it : but, if I
did, it would not take harm from me. The more
you and I converse the better ; for while I cannot
blight you, you may refresh me." After this
digression he proceeded :—
" I remained in the balcony. They will come
to her boudoir, no doubt, ' thought I : ' let me pre-
pare an ambush. ' So putting my hand in through
the open window, I drew the curtain over it, leaving
only an opening through which I could take obser-
vations ; then I closed the casement, all but a chink

just wide enough to furnish an outlet to lovers '

whispered vows : then I stole back to my chair, and as
I resumed it the pair came in. My eye was quickly at
239
 JANE EYRE

the aperture. Céline's chambermaid entered, lit a

lamp , left it on the table, and withdrew. The couple
were thus revealed to me clearly both removed
their cloaks ; and there was ' the Varens,' shining

in satin and jewels-my gifts of course-and there

was her companion in an officer's uniform ; and I
knew him for a young roué of a vicomte-a brainless
and vicious youth , whom I had sometimes met in
society, and had never thought of hating because I
despised him so absolutely. On recognizing him,
the fang of the snake, jealousy, was instantly broken ;
because at the same moment my love for Céline sank
under an extinguisher. A woman who could betray
me for such a rival was not worth contending for :
she deserved only scorn ; less , however, than I , who
had been her dupe .

"They began to talk their conversation eased

me completely : frivolous, mercenary, heartless, and
senseless , it was rather calculated to weary than

enrage a listener. · A card of mine lay on the table ;

this being perceived brought my name under dis-
cussion. Neither of them possessed energy or wit

to belabour me soundly ; but they insulted me as

coarsely as they could in their little way-especially
Céline ; who even waxed rather brilliant on my personal
defects, deformities she termed them. Now it had
been her custom to launch out into fervent admira-

tion of what she called my ' beauté mâle ' : wherein

she differed diametrically from you, who told me
point-blank, at the second interview, that you did
240
 JANE EYRE

not think me handsome. The contrast struck me at

the time, and-"
Adèle here came running up again.
" Monsieur, John has just been to say that your
agent has called and wishes to see you .'
" Ah ! In that case I must abridge. Opening the
window, I walked in upon them : liberated Céline
from my protection ; gave her notice to vacate her
hotel ; offered her a purse for immediate exigen-
cies ; disregarded screams, hysterics, prayers, pro-
testations , convulsions ; made an appointment with
the vicomte for a meeting at the Bois de Boulogne.
Next morning I had the pleasure of encountering
him ; left a bullet in one of his poor, etiolated arms,
feeble as the wing of a chicken in the pip, and then
thought I had done with the whole crew. But

unluckily the Varens, six months before, had given

me this filette Adèle ; who , she affirmed , was my
daughter, and perhaps she may be, though I see no
proofs of such grim paternity written in her counte-
nance : Pilot is more like me than she. Some years
after I had broken with the mother, she abandoned
her child and ran away to Italy with a musician or
singer. I acknowledged no natural claim on Adèle's
part to be supported by me ; nor do I now acknow-
ledge any, for I am not her father ; but hearing that
she was quite destitute, I e'en took the poor thing
out of the slime and mud of Paris, and transplanted
it here, to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of an
English country garden. Mrs. Fairfax found you to
241 R
 JANE EYRE

train it ; but now you know that it is the illegitimate

offspring of a French opera-girl, you will perhaps
think differently of your post and protégée : you will
be coming to me some day with notice that you have
found another place that you beg me to look out
for a new governess, etc. -eh ? "
" No : Adèle is not answerable for either her

mother's faults or yours : I have a regard for her,

and now that I know that she is, in a sense, parent-

less -forsaken by her mother and disowned by you ,

sir-I shall cling closer to her than before . How
could I possibly prefer the spoilt pet of a wealthy
family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance,
to a lonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a
friend ? "
66
Oh, that is the light in which you view it ! Well,
I must go in now ; and you too : it darkens .'
But I stayed out a few minutes longer with Adèle
and Pilot- ran a race with her, and played a game
of battledore and shuttlecock. When we went in
and I had removed her bonnet and coat, I took her
on my knee; kept her there an hour, allowing her to
prattle as she liked : not rebuking even some little
freedoms and trivialities into which she was apt to

stray when much noticed , and which betrayed in her

a superficiality of character, inherited probably from
her mother, hardly congenial to an English mind .
Still she had her merits ; and I was disposed to
appreciate all that was good in her to the utmost. I
sought in her countenance and features a likeness to
242
 JANE EYRE

Mr. Rochester, but found none : no trait, no turn of

expression announced relationship . It was a pity :
if she could but have been proved to resemble him,
he would have thought more of her.
It was not till after I had withdrawn to my own
chamber for the night that I steadily reviewed the
tale Mr. Rochester had told me. As he had said,
there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the
substance of the narrative itself : a wealthy English-
man's passion for a French dancer, and her treachery
to him, were everyday matters enough, no doubt, in
society ; but there was something decidedly strange
in the paroxysm of emotion which had suddenly
seized him, when he was in the act of expressing the
present contentment of his mood , and his newly
revived pleasures in the old hall and its environs . I
meditated wonderingly on this incident : but gradu-
ally quitting it, as I found it for the present inexplic-
able, I turned to the consideration of my master's
manner to myself. The confidence he had thought
fit to repose in me seemed a tribute to my dis-
cretion : I regarded and accepted it as such. His
deportment had now for some weeks been more
uniform towards me than at the first. I never seemed
in his way ; he did not take fits of chilling hauteur :
when he met me unexpectedly, the encounter seemed
welcome he had always a word and sometimes a
smile for me : when summoned by formal invitation
to his presence, I was honoured by a cordiality of
reception that made me feel I really possessed the
243
 JANE EYRE

power to amuse him, and that these evening con-

ferences were sought as much for his pleasure as for
my benefit.

I , indeed, talked comparatively little ; but I heard

him talk with relish. It was his nature to be com-

municative ; he liked to open to a mind unacquainted

with the world, glimpses of its scenes and ways ( I do
not mean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways, but
such as derived their interest from the great scale on
which they were acted, the strange novelty by which
they were characterized) ; and I had a keen delight
in receiving the new ideas he offered, in imagining
the new pictures he portrayed, and following him in
thought through the new regions he disclosed, never
startled or troubled by one noxious allusion .
The ease of his manner freed me from painful
restraint : the friendly frankness, as correct as
cordial, with which he treated me, drew me to him.
I felt at times as if he were my relation , rather than
my master yet he was imperious sometimes still ;
but I did not mind that ; I saw it was his way. So

happy, so gratified did I become with this new

interest added to life, that I ceased to pine after
kindred my thin crescent-destiny seemed to en-
large ; the blanks of existence were filled up ; my
bodily health improved ; I gathered flesh and
strength .
And was Mr. Rochester now ugly in my eyes ?

No, reader : gratitude, and many associations , all

pleasurable and genial, made his face the object I
244
 JANE EYRE

best liked to see ; his presence in a room was more

cheering than the brightest fire. Yet I had not
forgotten his faults : indeed , I could not, for he
brought them frequently before me. He was proud,
sardonic, harsh to inferiority of every description : in
my secret soul I knew that his great kindness to me
was balanced by unjust severity to many others. He
was moody, too ; unaccountably so : I more than
once, when sent for to read to him, found him sitting
in his library alone, with his head bent on his folded
arms ; and, when he looked up, a morose, almost a
malignant scowl, blackened his features . But I
believed that his moodiness, his harshness , and his
former faults of morality ( I say former, for now he
seemed corrected of them) had their source in some
cruel cross of fate. I believed he was naturally
a man of better tendencies, higher principles, and
purer tastes than such as circumstances had deve-
loped, education instilled, or destiny encouraged. I
thought there were excellent materials in him ;
though for the present they hung together somewhat
spoiled and tangled. I cannot deny that I grieved
for his grief, whatever that was, and would have
given much to assuage it.
Though I had now extinguished my candle and
was laid down in bed, I could not sleep, for thinking
of his look when he paused in the avenue, and told
how his destiny had risen up before him, and dared
him to be happy at Thornfield.
"6 "What alienates
'Why not ? " I asked myself.
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 JANE EYRE

him from the house ? Will he leave it again soon ?

Mrs. Fairfax said he seldom stayed here longer than
a fortnight at a time ; and he has now been resident

eight weeks. If he does go, the change will be

doleful. Suppose he should be absent, spring,
summer, and autumn ; how joyless sunshine and
fine days will seem ! "
I hardly know whether I had slept or not after this
musing ; at any rate, I started wide awake on hear-
ing a vague murmur, peculiar and lugubrious, which

sounded, I thought, just above me. I wished I had

kept my candle burning : the night was drearily
dark ; my spirits were depressed. I rose and sat up
in bed , listening. The sound was hushed.
I tried again to sleep ; but my heart beat
anxiously my inward tranquillity was broken. The
clock, far down in the hall, struck two. Just then
it seemed my chamber-door was touched ; as if fingers
had swept the panels in groping a way along the
dark gallery outside. I said, " Who is there ? "
Nothing answered. I was chilled with fear.
All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot :
who, when the kitchen-door chanced to be left open,
not unfrequently found his way up to the threshold
of Mr. Rochester's chamber : I had seen him lying
there myself, in the mornings. The idea calmed me
somewhat. I lay down. Silence composes the

nerves ; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again

through the whole house, I began to feel the return
of slumber. But it was not fated that I should sleep
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 JANE EYRE

that night. A dream had scarcely approached my

ear, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-
freezing incident, enough.
This was a demoniac laugh-low, suppressed, and
deep-uttered , as it seemed, at the very key-hole of
my chamber door. The head of my bed was near
the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laugher
stood at my bedside-or rather, crouched by my
pillow but I rose , looked round, and could see
nothing ; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound
was reiterated : and I knew it came from behind the
panels. My first impulse was to rise and fasten the
bolt ; my next, again to cry out, " Who is there ? "

Something gurgled and moaned. Ere long, steps

retreated up the gallery towards the third- storey
staircase a door had lately been made to shut in
that staircase ; I heard it open and close , and all was
still.
"Was that Grace Poole ? and is she possessed with
a devil ? " thought I. Impossible now to remain
longer by myself : I must go to Mrs. Fairfax. I

hurried on my frock and a shawl ; I withdrew the

bolt and opened the door with a trembling hand.
There was a candle burning just outside , and on the
matting in the gallery. I was surprised at this
circumstance : but still more was I amazed to per-

ceive the air quite dim, as if filled with smoke ; and,

while looking to the right hand and left, to find
whence these blue wreaths issued, I became further
aware of a strong smell of burning.
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 JANE EYRE

Something creaked : it was a door ajar ; and that

door was Mr. Rochester's , and the smoke rushed in
a cloud from thence. I thought no more of Mrs.
Fairfax ; I thought no more of Grace Poole or the
laugh in an instant I was within the chamber.
Tongues of flame darted round the bed : the curtains
were on fire. In the midst of blaze and vapour Mr.
Rochester lay stretched and motionless, in deep
sleep.
66
Wake ! wake ! " I cried- I shook him, but he
only murmured and turned : the smoke had stupefied
him . Not a moment could be lost the very sheets
were kindling. I rushed to his basin and ewer ;
fortunately, one was wide, and the other deep , and
both were filled with water. I heaved them up,
deluged the bed and its occupant, flew back to my
own room , brought my own water-jug, baptized the
couch afresh, and, by God's aid, succeeded in extin-
guishing the flames which were devouring it.
The hiss of the quenched element, the breakage
of a pitcher which I flung from my hand when I had
emptied it, and, above all, the splash of the shower-
bath I had liberally bestowed, roused Mr. Rochester
at last. Though it was now dark, I knew he was
awake ; because I heard him fulminating strange
anathemas at finding himself lying in a pool of water.
" Is there a flood ? " he cried.
66
No, sir," I answered , " but there has been a fire :
get up, do, you are quenched now ; I will fetch you
a candle. "
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 JANE EYRE

" In the name of all the elves in Christendom , is

that Jane Eyre ? " he demanded. "What have you
done with me, witch, sorceress ? Who is in the room
besides you ? Have you plotted to drown me ? "
" I will fetch you a candle, sir ; and in Heaven's
name, get up. Somebody has plotted something :
you cannot too soon find out who and what it is. "
" There I am up now ; but at your peril you fetch
a candle yet wait two minutes till I get into some
dry garments , if any dry there be—yes, here is my
dressing-gown. Now run ! "
I did run ; I brought the candle which still

remained in the gallery. He took it from my hand,

held it up, and surveyed the bed, all blackened and
scorched, the sheets drenched, the carpet round
swimming in water.
"What is it ? and who did it ? " he asked.

I briefly related to him what had transpired : the

strange laugh I had heard in the gallery : the step
ascending to the third storey ; the smoke-the smell
of fire which had conducted me to his room ; in what
state I had found matters there, and how I had
deluged him with all the water I could lay hands on.
He listened very gravely ; his face, as I went on,
expressed more than astonishment ; he did not
immediately speak when I had concluded.
" Shall I call Mrs. Fairfax ? " I asked.
" Mrs. Fairfax ? No ; what the deuce would you
call her for ? What can she do ? Let her sleep un-
molested. "

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 JANE EYRE

" Then I will fetch Leah, and wake John and his
wife ."

" Not at all just be still . You have a shawl on ?

If you are not warm enough, you may take my cloak

yonder ; wrap it about you, and sit down on my arm-

chair. There I will put it on. Now place your

feet on the stool, to keep them out of the wet. I

am going to leave you a few minutes. I shall take
the candle. Remain where you are till I return ; be
as still as a mouse. I must pay a visit to the second

storey. Don't move, remember, or call anyone.”

He went I watched the light withdraw. He
passed up the gallery very softly, unclosed the stair-
case door with as little noise as possible, shut it after
him, and the last ray vanished. I was left in total
darkness. I listened for some noise , but heard
nothing. A very long time elapsed. I grew weary :
it was cold, in spite of the cloak and then I did not
see the use of staying, as I was not to rouse the
house. I was on the point of risking Mr. Rochester's
displeasure by disobeying his orders, when the light
once more gleamed dimly on the gallery wall, and
I heard his unshod feet tread the matting. "I
hope it is he," thought I, " and not something
worse ."

He re-entered, pale and very gloomy. " I have

found it all out," said he, setting his candle down on
the washstand ; " it is as I thought ."
" How, sir ? "
He made no reply, but stood with his arms folded,
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 JANE EYRE

looking on the ground. At the end of a few minutes

he inquired in rather a peculiar tone :—

" I forget whether you said you saw anything when
you opened your chamber door."
" No, sir, only the candlestick on the ground."
" But you heard an odd laugh ? You have heard
that laugh before, I should think, or something like
it. "
66
Yes, sir : there is a woman who sews here, called
Grace Poole-she laughs in that way. She is a
singular person. "
" Just so. Grace Poole -you have guessed it. She
is, as you say, singular,-very. Well , I shall reflect on

the subject . Meantime , I am glad that you are the

only person , besides myself, acquainted with the pre-
cise details of to- night's incident . You are no talking
fool say nothing about it. I will account for this
state of affairs " (pointing to the bed) : " and now
return to your own room. I shall do very well on
the sofa in the library for the rest of the night .
It is near four -in two hours the servants will be

up."
"Good-night, then , sir," said I, departing.
He seemed surprised -very inconsistently so, as he
had just told me to go.
66
What," he exclaimed, " are you quitting me
already and in that way ? "
" You said I might go, sir ?
" But not without taking leave ; not without a
word or two of acknowledgment and goodwill : not,
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 JANE EYRE

in short, in that brief dry fashion . Why, you have

saved my life !-snatched me from a horrible and
excruciating death !—and you walk past me as if we
were mutual strangers ! At least shake hands. "
He held out his hand ; I gave him mine : he took
it first in one, then in both his own.
" You have saved my life : I have a pleasure in
owing you so immense a debt. I cannot say more.
Nothing else that has being would have been toler-
able to me in the character of creditor for such an

obligation but you : it is different :-I feel your

benefits no burden , Jane."
He paused : gazed at me : words almost visible
trembled on his lips-but his voice was checked.
66
Good- night again , sir. There is no debt, benefit,
burden, obligation in the case."
" I knew," he continued , " you would do me good
in some way at some time ; I saw it in your eyes
when I first beheld you : their expression and smile
did not " (again he stopped)-" did not " (he pro-
ceeded hastily) " strike delight to my very inmost
heart so for nothing . People talk of natural sym-
pathies ; I have heard of good genii :-there are
grains of truth in the wildest fable. My cherished
preserver, good- night ! "
Strange energy was in his voice ; strange fire in his
look.

" I am glad I happened to be awake," I said ; and

then I was going.
"What ! you will go ?"
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 JANE EYRE

" I am cold, sir."

"Cold ? Yes-and standing in a pool ! Go, then,
Jane ; go ! " But he still retained my hand, and I
could not free it. I bethought myself of an ex-
pedient.
" I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir," said I.
66
'Well , leave me ; " he relaxed his fingers , and I
was gone.
I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.
Till morning dawned I was tossed on a buoyant but
unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled under
surges of joy. I thought sometimes I saw beyond its
wild waters a shore, sweet as the hills of Beulah ;
and now and then a refreshing gale, wakened by
hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the
bourne : but I could not reach it, even in fancy- -a

counteracting breeze blew off land, and continually

drove me back. Sense would resist delirium :
judgment would warn passion. Too feverish to rest,
I rose as soon as day dawned.

253
 CHAPTER XVI .

I BOTH wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on

the day which followed this sleepless night : I

wanted to hear his voice again, yet feared to meet
his eye. During the early part of the morning,

I momentarily expected his coming ; he was not in

the frequent habit of entering the schoolroom ; but
he did step in for a few minutes sometimes ,
and I had the impression that he was sure to visit it
that day .

But the morning passed just as usual : nothing

happened to interrupt the quiet course of Adèle's
studies ; only, soon after breakfast, I heard some
bustle in the neighbourhood of Mr. Rochester's
chamber, Mrs. Fairfax's voice, and Leah's and the
cook's—that is, John's wife -and even John's own
gruff tones. There were exclamations of " What a
mercy master was not burnt in his bed ! " " It is

always dangerous to keep a candle lit at night."

"How providential that he had presence of mind to
think of the water-jug ! " " I wonder he waked
nobody ! " " It is to be hoped he will not take cold
with sleeping on the library sofa," etc.
To much confabulation succeeded a sound of

254
 JANE EYRE

scrubbing and setting to rights ; and when I passed

the room, in going downstairs to dinner, I saw
through the open door that all was again restored to
complete order ; only the bed was stripped of its
hangings. Leah stood up in the window seat,
rubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke. I
was about to address her, for I wished to know what
account had been given of the affair ; but, on
advancing, I saw a second person in the chamber-a
woman sitting on a chair by the bedside, and sewing
rings to new curtains. That woman was no other
than Grace Poole.
There she sat, staid and taciturn -looking as usual,
in her brown stuff- gown, her check apron, white
handkerchief, and cap. She was intent on her work,
in which her whole thoughts seemed absorbed on
her hard forehead, and in her commonplace features,
was nothing either of the paleness or desperation
one would have expected to see marking the
countenance of a woman who had attempted
murder ; and whose intended victim had followed
her last night to her lair, and (as I believed) charged
her with the crime she wished to perpetrate . I was
amazed - confounded. She looked up while I still
gazed at her : no start, no increase or failure of
colour betrayed emotion, consciousness of guilt, or
fear of detection.She said, " Good morning, Miss,"
in her usual phlegmatic and brief manner ; and,
taking up another ring and more tape, went on with
her sewing .

255
 JANE EYRE

" I will put her to some test," thought I ; " such

absolute impenetrability is past comprehension."
"Good-morning, Grace," I said. "Has anything
happened here ? I thought I heard the servants all
talking together a while ago."
" Only master had been reading in his bed last
night ; he fell asleep with his candle lit, and the
curtains got on fire ; but, fortunately, he awoke
before the bed- clothes or the woodwork caught, and
contrived to quench the flame with the water in the
ewer. "

"A strange affair ! " I said, in a low voice ; then,

looking at her fixedly-" Did Mr. Rochester wake
nobody ? Did no one hear him move ? "
She again raised her eyes to me ; and this time
there was something of consciousness in their
expression. She seemed to examine me warily ;
then she answered-

"The servants sleep so far off, you know, Miss ,

they would not be likely to hear. Mrs. Fairfax's
room and yours are the nearest to master's ; but
Mrs. Fairfax says she heard nothing : when people
get elderly, they often sleep heavy. " She paused,
and then added, with a sort of assumed indifference,
but still in a marked and significant tone-" But
you are young, Miss, and I should say a light
sleeper : perhaps you may have heard a noise ? "
" I did," said I , dropping my voice, so that Leah,
who was still polishing the panes, could not hear
me ; " and at first I thought it was Pilot : but Pilot
256
 JANE EYRE

cannot laugh ; and I am certain I heard a laugh,

and a strange one."
She took a new needleful of thread, waxed it
carefully, threaded her needle with a steady hand,
and then observed, with perfect composure :-

" It is hardly likely master would laugh, I should

think, Miss, when he was in such danger : you must
have been dreaming."

" I was not dreaming," I said , with some warmth ,

for her brazen coolness provoked me. Again she
looked at me, and with the same scrutinizing and
conscious eye.

" Have you told master that you heard a laugh ? "
she inquired.
" I have not had the opportunity of speaking to
him this morning. "

"You did not think of opening your door and

looking out into the gallery ? " she further asked.
She appeared to be cross -questioning me ;
attempting to draw from me information unawares.
The idea struck me that if she discovered I knew or
suspected her guilt, she would be playing off some of
her malignant pranks on me ; I thought it advisable
to be on my guard.
" On the contrary," said I , " I bolted my door."
" Then you are not in the habit of bolting your
door every night before you get into bed ? "
" Fiend she wants to know my habits, that she
may lay her plans accordingly ! " Indignation again
prevailed over prudence : I replied sharply, " Hitherto
257 S
 JANE EYRE

I have often omitted to fasten the bolt : I did not

think it necessary. I was not aware any danger or
annoyance was to be dreaded at Thornfield Hall ;

but in future " (and I laid marked stress on the

words) " I shall take good care to make all secure
before I venture to lie down."
"It will be wise so to do," was her answer :

"this neighbourhood is as quiet as any I know, and

I never heard of the Hall being attempted by
robbers since it was a house ; though there are
hundreds of pounds ' worth of plate in the plate
closet, as is well known. And you see, for such a
large house, there are very few servants, because
master has never lived here much ; and when he

does come , being a bachelor, he needs little waiting

on ; but I always think it best to err on the safe
side ; a door is soon fastened, and it is as well to
have a drawn bolt between one and any mischief
that may be about. A deal of people, Miss , are for
trusting all to Providence ; but I say Providence
will not dispense with the means, though He often
blesses them when they are used discreetly." And
here she closed her harangue, a long one for her,
and uttered with the demureness of a Quakeress.
I stood absolutely dumfoundered at what ap-
peared to me her miraculous self- possession and
most inscrutable hypocrisy, when the cook entered.
"Mrs. Poole," said she, addressing Grace, " the
servants' dinner will soon be ready will you come
down ? "

258
 JANE EYRE

" No ; just put my pint of porter and bit of

pudding on a tray, and I'll carry it upstairs. "
" You'll have some meat ?"
" Just a morsel, and a taste of cheese, that's all. "
" And the sago ?"
" Never mind it, at present ; I shall be coming
down before tea-time : I'll make it myself. "
The cook here turned to me, saying that Mrs.
Fairfax was waiting for me : so I departed.
I hardly heard Mrs. Fairfax's account of the
curtain conflagration during dinner, so much was I
occupied in puzzling my brains over the enigmatical
character of Grace Poole ; and still more in ponder-
ing the problem of her position at Thornfield : in
questioning why she had not been given into
custody that morning ; or, at the very least, dis-
missed from her master's service. He had almost
as much as declared his conviction of her criminality
last night what mysterious cause withheld him
from accusing her ? Why had he enjoined me too to
secrecy ? It was strange : a bold, vindictive, and
haughty gentleman seemed somehow in the power
of one of the meanest of his dependents ; so much
in her power, that even when she lifted her hand

against his life, he dared not openly charge her

with the attempt, much less punish her for it.
Had Grace been young and handsome, I should
have been tempted to think that tenderer feelings
than prudence or fear influenced Mr. Rochester in
her behalf ; but, hard- favoured and matronly as she
259
 JANE EYRE

was, the idea could not be admitted. " Yet," I

reflected, " she has been young once ; her youth

would be contemporary with her master's : Mrs.

Fairfax told me once, she had lived here many
years. I don't think she can ever have been pretty ;
but for aught I know she may possess originality
and strength of character to compensate for the
want of personal advantages. Mr. Rochester is an
amateur of the decided and eccentric : Grace is
eccentric at least. What if a former caprice (a
freak very possible to a nature so sudden and
headstrong as his) has delivered him into her power,
and she now exercises over his actions a secret
influence, the result of his own indiscretion, which
he cannot shake off, and dare not disregard ? "
But, having reached this point of conjecture, Mrs.
Poole's square flat figure, and uncomely, dry, even
coarse face, recurred so distinctly to my mind's eye,
that I thought, " No ; impossible ! my supposition
66
cannot be correct." 'Yet," suggested the secret
voice which talks to us in our own hearts, " you are

not beautiful either, and perhaps Mr. Rochester

approves you : at any rate, you have often felt as if
he did ; and last night- remember his words ;
remember his look ; remember his voice ! "

I well remembered all language, glance, and

tone seemed at the moment vividly renewed. I

was now in the schoolroom ; Adèle was drawing ; I

bent over her and directed her pencil. She looked
up with a sort of start.
260
 JANE EYRE

" Qu'avez-vous, mademoiselle ? " said she. " Vos

doigts tremblent comme la feuille, et vos joues sont

rouges mais, rouges comme des cerises ! "
" I am hot, Adèle, with stooping ! " She went on
sketching, I went on thinking.
I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful
notion I had been conceiving respecting Grace
Poole it disgusted me. I compared myself with
her, and found we were different. Bessie Leaven
had said I was quite a lady ; and she spoke
truth I was a lady. And now I looked much
better than I did when Bessie saw me : I had more
colour and more flesh ; more life, more vivacity :
because I had brighter hopes and keener enjoy-
ments.
"Evening approaches, " said I , as I looked towards
the window. " I have never heard Mr. Rochester's

voice or step in the house to -day ; but surely I shall

see him before night I feared the meeting in
the morning ; now I desire it, because expectation has
been so long baffled that it is grown impatient. "
When dusk actually closed , and when Adèle left
me to go and play in the nursery with Sophie, I
did most keenly desire it. I listened for the
bell to ring below ; I listened for Leah coming
up with a message ; I fancied sometimes I heard
Mr. Rochester's own tread, and I turned to the door,
expecting it to open and admit him. The door
remained shut : darkness only came in through the
window. Still it was not late ; he often sent for me
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 JANE EYRE

at seven and eight o'clock, and it was yet but six.

Surely I should not be wholly disappointed to -night
when I had so many things to say to him ! I
wanted again to introduce the subject of Grace
Poole, and to hear what he would answer ; I wanted
to ask him plainly if he really believed it was she who
had made last night's hideous attempt ; and if so, why
he kept her wickedness a secret. It little mattered
whether my curiosity irritated him ; I knew the
pleasure of vexing and soothing him by turns ; it
was one I chiefly delighted in, and a sure instinct
always prevented me from going too far beyond
the verge of provocation I never ventured ; on the
extreme brink I liked well to try my skill. Retain-
ing every minute form of respect, every propriety of
my station, I could still meet him in argument
without fear or uneasy restraint ; this suited both
him and me.

A tread creaked on the stairs at last ; Leah made

her appearance ; but it was only to intimate that tea
was ready in Mrs. Fairfax's room. Thither I
repaired, glad at least to go downstairs ; for that
brought me, I imagined, nearer to Mr. Rochester's
presence.
" You must want your tea," said the good lady, as
I joined her ; " you ate so little at dinner. I am
afraid," she continued, " you are not well to-day :
you look flushed and feverish."
" Oh, quite well ! I never felt better."
"Then you must prove it by evincing a good
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 JANE EYRE

appetite ; will you fill the tea-pot while I knit off this
needle ?" Having completed her task, she rose to
draw down the blind which she had hitherto kept
up ; by way, I suppose , of making the most of day-
light though dusk was now fast deepening into
total obscurity.

" It is fair to- night," said she, as she looked

through the panes, " though not starlight ; Mr.
Rochester has, on the whole, had a favourable day
for his journey."
" Journey ! Is Mr. Rochester gone anywhere ? I
did not know he was out."
66
Oh, he set off the moment he had breakfasted !
He is gone to the Leas ; Mr. Eshton's place, ten
miles on the other side Millcote : I believe there is

quite a party assembled there ; Lord Ingram, Sir

George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and others."
" Do you expect him back to -night ? '
" No- nor to-morrow either ; I should think he is
very likely to stay a week or more : when these fine ,
fashionable people get together, they are so sur-
rounded by elegance and gaiety ; so well provided
with all that can please and entertain, they are in no
hurry to separate. Gentlemen, especially, are often
in request on such occasions ; and Mr. Rochester is
so talented and so lively in society, that I believe he
is a general favourite : the ladies are very fond of
him ; though you would not think his appearance
calculated to recommend him particularly in their
eyes ; but I suppose his acquirements and abilities
263
 JANE EYRE

perhaps his wealth and good blood, make amends for

any little fault of look."
" Are there ladies at the Leas ?"
" There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters
-very elegant young ladies, indeed ; and there are
the Honourable Blanche and Mary Ingram ; most
beautiful women, I suppose : indeed I have seen
Blanche, six or seven years since, when she was a girl
of eighteen. She came here to a Christmas ball and
party Mr. Rochester gave. You should have seen the
dining-room that day- how richly it was decorated ,
how brilliantly lit up ! I should think there were fifty
ladies and gentlemen present-all of the first county
families ; and Miss Ingram was considered the belle
of the evening ."

" You saw her, you say, Mrs. Fairfax : what was
she like ? "
66
Yes, I saw her. The dining-room doors were
thrown open ; and, as it was Christmas - time, the
servants were allowed to assemble in the hall, to

hear some of the ladies sing and play. Mr. Rochester

would have me to come in, and I sat down in a quiet
corner and watched them. I never saw a more
splendid scene : the ladies were magnificently
dressed ; most of them-at least most of the younger
ones-looked handsome ; but Miss Ingram was cer-
tainly the queen . "
" And what was she like ? "
" Tall , fine bust, sloping shoulders ; long, graceful
neck olive complexion, dark and clear ; noble
264
 JANE EYRE

features ; eyes rather like Mr. Rochester's : large

and black, and as brilliant as her jewels. And then
she had such a fine head of hair ; raven-black, and

so becomingly arranged ; a crown of thick plaits

behind, and in front the longest, the glossiest curls
I ever saw. She was dressed in pure white ; an

amber -coloured scarf was passed over her shoulder

and across her breast, tied at the side , and descend-
ing in long, fringed ends below her knee. She
wore an amber- coloured flower, too, in her hair it
contrasted well with the jetty mass of her curls."
" She was greatly admired, of course ? "
Yes, indeed and not only for her beauty, but
for her accomplishments. She was one of the ladies
who sang a gentleman accompanied her on the
piano . She and Mr. Rochester sang a duet."
" Mr. Rochester ? I was not aware he could sing."
" Oh ! he has a fine bass voice , and an excellent
taste for music."

" And Miss Ingram : what sort of a voice had

she ? "

"A very rich and powerful one : she sang delight-

fully ; it was a treat to listen to her : and she played
afterwards. I am no judge of music, but Mr.

Rochester is ; and I heard him say her execution was

remarkably good. "
"And this beautiful and accomplished lady is not
yet married ? "
" It appears not : I fancy neither she nor her sister
have very large fortunes. Old Lord Ingram's estates
265
 JANE EYRE

were chiefly entailed, and the eldest son came in for

everything almost.”
" But I wonder no wealthy nobleman or gentleman
has taken a fancy to her ; Mr. Rochester, for instance.
He is rich, is he not ? "
" Oh ! yes. But you see there is a considerable
difference in age : Mr. Rochester is near forty ; she
is but twenty-five."
"What of that ? More unequal matches are made
every day."
" True : yet I should scarcely fancy Mr. Rochester
would entertain an idea of the sort. But you eat
nothing ; you have scarcely tasted since you began
tea."

" No : I am too thirsty to eat. Will you let me

have another cup ? "

I was about again to revert to the probability of a

union between Mr. Rochester and the beautiful
Blanche ; but Adèle came in, and the conversation
was turned into another channel.
When once more alone, I reviewed the information

I had got, looked into my heart, examined its

thoughts and feelings, and endeavoured to bring
back with a strict hand such as had been straying
through imagination's boundless and trackless waste
into the safe fold of common sense.

Arraigned at my own bar, Memory having given

her evidence of the hopes, wishes, sentiments I had
been cherishing since last night —of the general state
of mind in which I had indulged for nearly a fort-
266
 JANE EYRE

night past ; Reason having come forward and told in

her own quiet way a plain, unvarnished tale, showing
how I had rejected the real, and rabidly devoured
the ideal-I pronounced judgment to this effect :-
That a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never
breathed the breath of life : that a more fantastic
idiot had never surfeited herself on sweet lies , and
swallowed poison as if it were nectar.
66
You," I said, " a favourite with Mr. Rochester ?
You gifted with the power of pleasing him ? You of
importance to him in any way ? Go ! your folly
sickens me. And you have derived pleasure from
occasional tokens of preference --equivocal tokens ,
shown by a gentleman of family, and a man of the
world, to a dependent and a novice. How dared
you ? Poor stupid dupe ! Could not even self-
interest make you wiser ? You repeated to yourself
this morning the brief scene of last night ? Cover
your face and be ashamed ! He said something in
praise of your eyes, did he ? Blind puppy ! Open
their bleared lids and look on your own accursed
senselessness ! It does good to no woman to be
flattered by her superior, who cannot possibly intend
to marry her ; and it is madness in all women to let
a secret love kindle within them, which, ifunreturned
and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it ;
and, if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-
fatuus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no
extrication.
66
Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence : to-
267
 JANE EYRE

morrow, place the glass before you, and draw in

chalk your own picture faithfully ; without softening

one defect ; omit no harsh line, smooth away no
displeasing irregularity ; write under it, Portrait of
a Governess, disconnected, poor, and plain .'
" Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory-you
have one prepared in your drawing-box : take your
palette, mix your freshest, finest, clearest tints ;
choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils ;
delineate carefully the loveliest face you can imagine ;
paint it in your softest shades and sweetest hues ,
according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of
Blanche Ingram ; remember the raven ringlets, the
Oriental eye- what ! you revert to Mr. Rochester as
a model ! Order ! No snivel ! -no sentiment !-no
regret ! I will endure only sense and resolution .
Recall the august yet harmonious lineaments , the
Grecian neck and bust : let the round and dazzling
arm be visible, and the delicate hand ; omit neither
diamond ring nor gold bracelet ; portray faithfully
the attire, aërial lace and glistening satin, graceful
scarf and golden rose : call it ' Blanche, an accom-
plished lady of rank .'

" Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy

Mr. Rochester thinks well of you , take out these two
pictures and compare them : say, ' Mr. Rochester
might probably win that noble lady's love, if he
chose to strive for it ; is it likely he would waste a
serious thought on this indigent and insignificant
plebeian ?'
268
 JANE EYRE

" I'll do it," I resolved and having framed this

determination, I grew calm, and fell asleep.
I kept my word. An hour or two sufficed to

sketch my own portrait in crayons ; and in less than

a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature of an
imaginary Blanche Ingram. It looked a lovely face
enough, and when compared with the real head in
chalk, the contrast was as great as self-control could
desire. I derived benefit from the task : it had kept
my head and hands employed , and had given force
and fixedness to the new impressions I wished to
stamp indelibly on my heart.
Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on
the course of wholesome discipline to which I had
thus forced my feelings to submit : thanks to it, I
was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a
decent calm , which, had they found me unprepared,
I should probably have been unequal to maintain,
even externally.

269
 CHAPTER XVII.

A WEEK passed, and no news arrived of Mr.

Rochester : ten days, and still he did not come.

Mrs. Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he
were to go straight from the Leas to London, and
thence to the Continent, and not show his face again
at Thornfield for a year to come : he had not unfre-
quently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and
unexpected. When I heard this I was beginning to
feel a strange chill and failing at the heart. I was
actually permitting myself to experience a sickening
sense of disappointment : but rallying my wits, and
recollecting my principles, I at once called my sen-
sations to order, and it was wonderful how I got over
the temporary blunder- how I cleared up the mistake
of supposing Mr. Rochester's movements a matter in
which I had any cause to take a vital interest. Not
that I humbled myself by aslavish notion of
inferiority on the contrary, I just said :-
:—

"You have nothing to do with the master of

Thornfield further than to receive the salary he gives
you for teaching his protégée, and to be grateful for
such respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your
270
 JANE EYRE

duty, you have a right to expect at his hands. Be

sure that is the only tie he seriously acknowledges
between you and him ; so don't make him the object
of your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so

forth. He is not of your order : keep to your caste ;

and be too self- respecting to lavish the love of the
whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is
not wanted, and would be despised. "
I went on with my day's business tranquilly ; but
ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering
across my brain of reasons why I should quit
Thornfield ; and I kept involuntarily framing
advertisements and pondering conjectures
about
new situations : these thoughts I did not think it
necessary to check ; they might germinate and bear
fruit if they could.
Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a
fortnight, when the post brought Mrs. Fairfax a
letter.

" It is from the master," said she, as she looked at

the direction. " Now I suppose we shall know
""
whether we are to expect his return or not.
And while she broke the seal and perused the
document, I went on taking my coffee (we were at
breakfast) it was hot, and I attributed to that
circumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose to my
face. Why my hand shook, and why I involuntarily
spilt half the contents of my cup into my saucer, I
did not choose to consider.
"Well I sometimes think we are too quiet ; but
271
 JANE EYRE

we run a chance of being busy enough now : for a

little while at least," said Mrs. Fairfax, still holding
the note before her spectacles .
Ere I permitted myself to request an explana-
tion, I tied the string of Adèle's pinafore, which
happened to be loose having helped her also to
another bun and refilled her mug with milk, I said
nonchalantly-
" Mr. Rochester is not likely to return soon, I
suppose ? "
" Indeed, he is in three days, he says ; that will
be next Thursday ; and not alone either. I don't
know how many of the fine people at the Leas are
coming with him : he sends directions for all the
best bedrooms to be prepared ; and the library and
drawing-rooms are to be cleaned out ; and I am to
get more kitchen hands from the George Inn, at
Millcote, and from wherever else I can ; and the
ladies will bring their maids and the gentlemen
their valets ; so we shall have a full house of it."
And Mrs. Fairfax swallowed her breakfast and

hastened away to commence operations.

The three days were, as she had foretold, busy
enough. I had thought all the rooms at Thornfield
beautifully clean and well-arranged : but it appears
I was mistaken . Three women were got to help ;

and such scrubbing, such brushing, such washing of

paint and beating of carpets, such taking down and
putting up of pictures, such polishing of mirrors and
lustres, such lighting of fires in bedrooms, such
272
 JANE EYRE

airing of sheets and feather-beds on hearths, I

never beheld, either before or since . Adèle ran
quite wild in the midst of it : the preparations for
company, and the prospect of their arrival, seemed
to throw her into ecstasies. She would have Sophie
to look over all her " toilettes " as she called frocks ;
to furbish up any that were " passées," and to air
and arrange the new. For herself, she did nothing
but caper about in the front chambers, jump on and
off the bedsteads, and lie on the mattresses and
piled-up bolsters and pillows before the enormous
fires roaring in the chimneys. From school duties
she was exonerated : Mrs. Fairfax had pressed me
into her service, and I was all day in the store-room,
helping, (or hindering) her and the cook ; learning
to make custards and cheese-cakes and French
pastry, to truss game and garnish dessert-dishes.
The party were expected to arrive on Thursday
afternoon, in time for dinner at six. During the
intervening period I had no time to nurse chimeras ;
and I believe I was as active and gay as anybody—
Adèle excepted. Still, now and then, I received a
damping check to my cheerfulness ; and was, in
spite of myself, thrown back on the region of doubts
and portents, and dark conjectures . This was when
I chanced to see the third- storey staircase door
(which of late had always been kept locked ) open
slowly, and give passage to the form of Grace Poole ,
in prim cap, white apron, and handkerchief ; when I
watched her glide along the gallery, her quiet tread
273 T
 JANE EYRE

muffled in a list slipper ; when I saw her look into

the bustling, topsy-turvy bedrooms-just say a word,
perhaps, to the charwoman about the proper way to
polish a grate, or clean a marble mantelpiece , or
take stains from papered walls, and then pass on.
She would thus descend to the kitchen once a day,
eat her dinner, smoke a moderate pipe on the hearth,
and go back, carrying her pot of porter with her, for

her private solace, in her own gloomy, upper haunt.

Only one hour in the twenty-four did she pass with
her fellow-servants below ; all the rest of her time
was spent in some low- ceiled, oaken chamber of the
second storey there she sat and sewed - and pro-
bably laughed drearily to herself as companionless
as a prisoner in his dungeon .
The strangest thing of all was, that not a soul
in the house, except me, noticed her habits, or
seemed to marvel at them ; no one discussed her
position or employment ; no one pitied her solitude
or isolation. I once, indeed, overheard part of a
dialogue between Leah and one of the charwomen ,
of which Grace formed the subject. Leah had been
saying something I had not caught, and the char-
woman remarked :-

" She gets good wages, I guess ? "

" Yes," said Leah ; " I wish I had as good ; not
that mine are to complain of, -there's no stinginess
at Thornfield ; but they're not one-fifth of the sum
Mrs. Poole receives . And she is laying by : she goes
every quarter to the bank at Millcote . I should not
274
 JANE EYRE

wonder but she has saved enough to keep her

independent if she liked to leave ; but I suppose
she's got used to the place ; and then she's not forty
yet, and strong and able for anything. It is too
soon for her to give up business . "
" She is a good hand , I dare say," said the char-
woman.
" Ah -she understands what she has to do-

nobody better," rejoined Leah significantly ; " and it

is not every one who could fill her shoes ; not for all
the money she gets."
" That it is not ! " was the reply. " I wonder
whether master-"

The charwoman was going on ; but here Leah

turned and perceived me, and she instantly gave her
companion a nudge.
"Doesn't she know ? " I heard the woman whisper.
Leah shook her head, and the conversation was
of course dropped . All I had gathered from it
amounted to this that there was a mystery at

Thornfield ; and that from participation in that

mystery I was purposely excluded .
Thursday came : all work had been completed the
previous evening ; carpets were laid down, bed-
hangings festooned, radiant white counterpanes
spread, toilet-tables arranged, furniture
rubbed ,
flowers piled in vases : both chambers and saloons
looked as fresh and bright as hands could make
them. The hall , too , was scoured ; and the great
carved clock, as well as the steps and banisters of the
275
 JANE EYRE

staircase, were polished to the brightness of glass :

in the dining-room, the sideboard flashed resplendent
with plate ; in the drawing-room and boudoir, vases
of exotics bloomed on all sides .
Afternoon arrived : Mrs. Fairfax assumed her best

black satin gown, her gloves , and her gold watch ;

for it was her part to receive the company, -to con-
duct the ladies to their rooms, etc. Adèle, too ,
would be dressed : though I thought she had little
chance of being introduced to the party that day at
least. However, to please her, I allowed Sophie to
apparel her in one of her short, full muslin frocks.

For myself, I had no need to make any change ; I

should not be called upon to quit my sanctum of the
schoolroom ; for a sanctum it was now become to
me, " a very pleasant refuge in time of trouble. "
It had been a mild, serene spring day, one of
those days which, towards the end of March or the
beginning of April, rise shining over the earth as
heralds of summer. It was drawing to an end now ;

but the evening was even warm, and I sat at work in

the schoolroom with the window open.

" It gets late," said Mrs. Fairfax, entering in rust-

ling state. " I am glad I ordered dinner an hour
after the time Mr. Rochester mentioned ; for it
is past six now. I have sent John down to the gates

to see if there is anything on the road : one can see

a long way from thence in the direction of Millcote."
She went to the window. "Here he is ! " said she.
66 ""
Well, John " (leaning out), " any news ?
276
 JANE EYRE

" They're coming, ma'am," was the answer.

" They'll be here in ten minutes ."

Adèle flew to the window. I followed ; taking
care to stand on one side, so that, screened by the
curtain, I could see without being seen.
The ten minutes John had given seemed very long,
but at last wheels were heard ; four equestrians
galloped up the drive, and after them came two open
carriages. Fluttering veils and waving plumes filled
the vehicles ; two of the cavaliers were young,

dashing-looking gentlemen ; the third Mr.

Rochester, on his black horse, Mesrour ; Pilot
bounding before him at his side rode a lady, and he
and she were the first of the party. Her purple
riding-habit almost swept the ground, her veil
streamed long on the breeze ; mingling with its
transparent folds, and gleaming through them, shone
rich raven ringlets .
" Miss Ingram ! " exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax, and away
she hurried to her post below.
The cavalcade, following the sweep of the drive,
quickly turned the angle of the house, and I lost
sight of it. Adèle now petitioned to go down ; but I
took her on my knee and gave her to understand
that she must not on any account think of venturing
in sight of the ladies, either now or at any other time,
unless expressly sent for : that Mr. Rochester would
be very angry, etc. "Some natural tears she shed "
on being told this ; but as I began to look very grave,
she consented at last to wipe them.
277
 JANE EYRE

A joyous stir was now audible in the hall : gentle-

men's deep tones and ladies' silvery accents blent
harmoniously together, and distinguishable above
all, though not loud, was the sonorous voice of the
master of Thornfield Hall, welcoming his fair and
gallant guests under its roof. Then light steps as-
cended the stairs ; and there was a tripping through
the gallery, and soft cheerful laughs, and opening
and closing doors , and , for a time, a hush.
" Elles changent de toilettes," said Adèle ; who,
listening attentively, had followed every movement ;
and she sighed.
66
Chez maman," said she, " quand il y avait du
monde, je le suivais partout, au salon et à leurs
chambres ; souvent je regardais les femmes de
chambre coiffer et habiller les dames, et c'était si
amusant ; comme cela on apprend."
" Don't you feel hungry , Adèle ? "

" Mais oui, mademoiselle : violà, cinq ou six heures

que nous n'avons pas mangé."
"Well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, I
will venture down and get you something to eat."
And issuing from my asylum with precaution , I
sought a backstairs which conducted directly to the
kitchen. All in that region was fire and commotion ;
the soup and fish were in the last stage of projection,
and the cook hung over her crucibles in a frame of
mind and body threatening spontaneous combustion .
In the servants' hall two coachmen and three gentle-
men's gentlemen stood or sat round the fire ; the
278
 JANE EYRE

Abigails, I suppose, were upstairs with their

mistresses : the new servants that had been hired
from Millcote were bustling about everywhere .
Threading this chaos, I at last reached the larder ;
there I took possession of a cold chicken, a roll of
bread, some tarts, a plate or two and a knife
and fork ; with this booty I made a hasty retreat. I
had regained the gallery, and was just shutting the
back-door behind me, when an accelerated hum
warned me that the ladies were about to issue
from their chambers. I could not proceed to the
schoolroom without passing some of their doors ,
and running the risk of being surprised with
my cargo of victualage ; so I stood still at this
end, which, being windowless, was dark ; quite
dark now, for the sun was set and twilight gather-
ing.
Presently the chambers gave up their fair tenants
one after another : each came out gaily and airily,
with dress that gleamed lustrous through the dusk.
For a moment they stood grouped together at the
other extremity of the gallery, conversing in a key of
sweet subdued vivacity : they then descended the
staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright mist rolls
down a hill. Their collective appearance had left
on me an impression of high-born elegance, such as
I had never before received.

I found Adèle peeping through the schoolroom

door, which she held ajar. "What beautiful ladies ! "

cried she in English . " Oh, I wish I might go to

279
 JANE EYRE

them ! Do you think Mr. Rochester will send for us

by-and-by, after dinner ? "
"No , indeed I don't ; Mr. Rochester has some-
thing else to think about. Never mind the ladies
to-night ; perhaps you will see them to-morrow : here
is your dinner."

She was really hungry, so the chicken and tarts

served to divert her attention for a time. It was

well I secured this forage ; or both she, I, and Sophie,

to whom I conveyed a share of our repast, would
have run a chance of getting no dinner at all : every
one downstairs was too much engaged to think of us.
The dessert was not carried out till after nine ; and
at ten, footmen were still running to and fro with
trays and coffee-cups. I allowed Adèle to sit up
much later than usual ; for she declared she could

not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening

and shutting below, and people bustling about.
Besides, she added, a message might possibly come
from Mr. Rochester when she was undressed ; " et

alors quel dommage ! "

I told her stories as long as she would listen to
them ; and then for a change I took her out into the
gallery. The hall lamp was now lit, and it amused
her to look over the balustrade and watch the
servants passing backwards and forwards. When
the evening was far advanced, a sound of music
issued from the drawing-room, whither the piano
had been removed ; Adèle and I sat down on the top

step of the stairs to listen. Presently a voice blent

280
 JANE EYRE

with the rich tones of the instrument ; it was a lady

who sang, and very sweet her notes were. The solo

over, a duet followed, and then a glee : a joyous con-

versational murmur filled up the intervals. I listened
long : suddenly I discovered that my ear was wholly
intent on analyzing the mingled sounds, and trying
to discriminate amidst the confusion ofaccents those

of Mr. Rochester ; and when it caught them, which

it soon did, it found a further task in framing the
tones , rendered by distance inarticulate, into words.
The clock struck eleven. I looked at Adèle,
whose head leant against my shoulder ; her eyes were
waxing heavy, so I took her up in my arms and
carried her off to bed. It was near one before the
gentlemen and ladies sought their chambers.
The next day was as fine as its predecessor ; it was
devoted by the party to an excursion to some site in
the neighbourhood. They set out early in the fore-
noon, some on horseback, the rest in carriages ; I
witnessed both the departure and the return. Miss
Ingram, as before, was the only lady equestrian ; and,
as before, Mr. Rochester galloped at her side ; the
two rode a little apart from the rest. I pointed out
this circumstance to Mrs. Fairfax, who was standing
at the window with me :-

" You said it was not likely they should think of

being married," said I, " but you see Mr. Rochester
evidently prefers her to any of the other ladies."
66
Yes, I dare say ; no doubt he admires her."
" And she him," I added ; " look how she leans
281
 JANE EYRE

her head towards him as if she were conversing con-

fidentially ; I wish I could see her face ; I have never

had a glimpse of it yet."
" You will see her this evening," answered Mrs.
Fairfax. "I happened to remark to Mr. Rochester
how much Adèle wished to be introduced to the
ladies, and he said : " Oh ! let her come into the
drawing-room after dinner ; and request Miss Eyre
999
to accompany her.'

"Yes-he said that from mere politeness : I need

not go, I am sure," I answered.

"Well , I observed to him that as you were unused

to company, I did not think you would like appearing
before so gay a party-all strangers. And he replied,
in his quick way : ' Nonsense ! If she objects , tell
her it is my particular wish ; and if she resists , say I
shall come and fetch her in case of contumacy.""

" I will not give him that trouble," I answered.

" I will go , if no better may be but I don't like it.
Shall you be there, Mrs. Fairfax ? "

" No ; I pleaded off, and he admitted my plea.

I'll tell you how to manage so as to avoid the em-
barrassment of making a formal entrance , which is
the most disagreeable part of the business. You
, must go into the drawing-room while it is empty,
before the ladies leave the dinner-table ; choose your

seat in any quiet nook you like ; you need not stay
long after the gentlemen come in, unless you please :
just let Mr. Rochester see you are there and then
slip away-nobody will notice you.”
282
 JANE EYRE

"Will these people remain long, do you think ? "

66
Perhaps two or three weeks ; certainly not more.
After the Easter recess, Sir George Lynn, who was
lately elected member for Millcote, will have to go
up to town and take his seat ; I dare say Mr.
Rochester will accompany him : it surprises me that
he has already made so protracted a stay at Thorn-
field. "

It was with some trepidation that I perceived the

hour approach when I was to repair with my charge
to the drawing- room. Adèle had been in a state of
ecstasy all day after hearing she was to be presented
to the ladies in the evening ; and it was not till
Sophie commenced the operation of dressing her
that she sobered down. Then the importance ofthe
process quickly steadied her ; and by the time she
had her curls arranged in well -smoothed, drooping
clusters, her pink satin frock put on, her long sash
tied, and her lace mittens adjusted, she looked as
grave as any judge. No need to warn her not to
disarrange her attire : when she was dressed, she sat
demurely down in her little chair, taking care
previously to lift up the satin skirt for fear she
should crease it, and assured me she would not stir
thence till I was ready. This I quickly was my
best dress (the silver grey one, purchased for Miss
Temple's wedding, and never worn since ) was soon
put on ; my hair was soon smoothed ; my sole
ornament, the pearl brooch, soon assumed. We
descended.
283
 JANE EYRE

Fortunately, there was another entrance to the

drawing-room than that through the saloon where
they were all seated at dinner. We found the apart-
ment vacant ; a large fire burning silently on the
marble hearth, and wax candles shining in bright
solitude, amid the exquisite flowers with which the
tables were adorned. The crimson curtain hung
before the arch : slight as was the separation this
drapery formed from the party in the adjoining
saloon, they spoke in so low a key that nothing of
their conversation could be distinguished beyond a
soothing murmur.
Adèle, who appeared to be still under the in-
fluence of a most solemnizing impression, sat down,
without a word, on the footstool I pointed out to
her. I retired to a window-seat, and taking a book
from the table near, endeavoured to read. Adèle
brought her stool to my feet ; ere long she touched
my knee.

" What is it, Adèle ? "

" Est-ce que je ne puis prendre une seule de ces
fleurs magnifiques , mademoiselle ? Seulement pour
completer ma toilette."

"You think too much of your ' toilette,' Adèle :

but you may have a flower." And I took a rose from
a vase and fastened it in her sash. She sighed a
sigh of ineffable satisfaction, as if her cup of

happiness were now full. I turned my face away to

conceal a smile I could not suppress : there was
something ludicrous as well as painful in the little
284
 JANE EYRE

Parisienne's earnest and innate devotion to matters

of dress .

A soft sound of rising now became audible ; the

curtain was swept back from the arch ; through it
appeared the dining-room, with its lit lustre pouring
down light on the silver and glass of a magnificent
dessert- service covering a long table. A band of
ladies stood in the opening ; they entered, and the
curtain fell behind them.
There were but eight ; yet somehow, as they

flocked in, they gave the impression of a much

larger number. Some of them were very tall ; many
were dressed in white ; and all had a sweeping
amplitude of array that seemed to magnify their per-
sons as a mist magnifies the moon. I rose and
curtsied to them : one or two bent their heads in
return the others only stared at me.
They dispersed about the room, reminding me, by
the lightness and buoyancy of their movements, of a
flock of white plumy birds. Some of them threw
themselves in half-reclining positions on the sofas
and ottomans ; some bent over the tables and
examined the flowers and books ; the rest gathered
in a group round the fire ; all talked in a low but
clear tone which seemed habitual to them. I knew
their names afterwards, and may as well mention
them now.

First, there was Mrs. Eshton and two of her

daughters. She had evidently been a handsome
woman, and was well preserved still. Of her
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daughters, the eldest, Amy, was rather little ; naïve ,

and childlike in face and manner, and piquant in
form her white muslin dress and blue sash became
her well. The second, Louisa, was taller, and more
elegant in figure ; with a very pretty face, of that
order the French term " minois chiffoné " ; both
sisters were fair as lilies.

Lady Lynn was a large and stout personage of

about forty very erect, very haughty-looking, richly
dressed in a satin robe of changeful sheen : her dark
hair shone glossily under the shade of an azure
plume, and within the circlet of a band of gems.
Mrs. Colonel Dent was less showy ; but, I thought,
more ladylike. She had a slight figure, a pale,
gentle face, and fair hair. Her black satin dress,
her scarf ofrich foreign lace, and her pearl ornaments,
pleased me better than the rainbow radiance of the
titled dame.
But the three most distinguished-partly, perhaps ,
because the tallest figures of the band- were the
Dowager Lady Ingram and her daughters, Blanche
and Mary. They were all three of the loftiest stature
of woman . The dowager might be between forty

and fifty her shape was still fine ; her hair (by
candlelight at least) still black ; her teeth, too, were
still apparently perfect. Most people would have
termed her a splendid woman of her age and so
she was, no doubt, physically speaking ; but then
there was an expression of almost insupportable
haughtiness in her bearing and countenance. She
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 JANE EYRE

had Roman features and a double chin , disappearing

into a throat like a pillar : these features appeared
to me, not only inflated and darkened, but even
furrowed with pride ; and the chin was sustained by
the same principle, in a position of almost preter-
natural erectness. She had, likewise, a fierce and a
hard eye it reminded me of Mrs. Reed's ; she
mouthed her words in speaking ; her voice was deep,
its inflections very pompous, very dogmatical- very
intolerable, in short. A crimson velvet robe and a
shawl- turban of some gold-wrought Indian fabric
invested her ( I suppose she thought) with a truly
imperial dignity.
Blanche and Mary were of equal stature- straight
and tall as poplars. Mary was too slim for her
height ; but Blanche was moulded like a Dian. I

regarded her, of course, with especial interest.

First, I wished to see whether her appearance
accorded with Mrs. Fairfax's description ; secondly,
whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature I had
painted of her ; and, thirdly, —it will out !—whether
it were such as I should fancy likely to suit Mr.
Rochester's taste.

As far as person went, she answered point for

point, both to my picture and Mrs. Fairfax's
description. The noble bust, the sloping shoulders,
the graceful neck, the dark eyes and black ringlets
were all there but her face ? Her face was like
her mother's ; a youthful unfurrowed likeness ; the
same low brow, the same high features, the same
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 JANE EYRE

pride. It was not, however, so saturnine a pride ;

she laughed continually ; her laugh was satirical,
and so was the habitual expression of her arched
and haughty lip.
Genius is said to be self-conscious : I cannot tell
whether Miss Ingram was a genius, but she was
self- conscious -remarkably self- conscious indeed.

She entered into a discourse on botany with the

gentle Mrs. Dent. It seems Mrs. Dent had not
studied that science ; though, as she said, she liked
flowers, " especially wild ones " ; Miss Ingram had,
and she ran over its vocabulary with an air. I
presently perceived she was (what is vernacularly
termed) trailing Mrs. Dent ; that is, playing on her
ignorance : her trail might be clever, but it was
decidedly not good-natured. She played her
execution was brilliant : she sang : her voice was
fine ; she talked French apart to her mamma ; and
she talked it well, with fluency and with a good
accent.

Mary had a milder and more open countenance

than Blanche ; softer features too, and a skin some
shades fairer (Miss Ingram was dark as a Spaniard)
--but Mary was deficient in life : her face lacked
expression, her eye lustre ; she had nothing to say,
and having once taken her seat, remained fixed like
a statue in its niche. The sisters were both attired
in spotless white.
And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice
as Mr. Rochester would be likely to make ? I could
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 JANE EYRE

not tell- I did not know his taste in female beauty.

If he liked the majestic , she was the very type of
majesty then she was accomplished, sprightly.
Most gentlemen would admire her, I thought ; and
that he did admire her, I already seemed to have
obtained proof : to remove the last shade of doubt,
it remained but to see them together.
You are not to suppose, reader, that Adèle has all
this time been sitting motionless on the stool at
my feet no ; when the ladies entered, she rose,
advanced to meet them, made a stately reverence,
and said, with gravity-
" Bon jour, mesdames."
And Miss Ingram had looked down at her with a
mocking air, and exclaimed, " Oh, what a little
puppet ! "
Lady Lynn had remarked, " It is Mr. Rochester's
ward, I suppose, the little French girl he was
speaking of. "
Mrs. Dent had kindly taken her hand, and given
her a kiss. Amy and Louisa Eshton had cried out
simultaneously—
" What a love of a child ! "

And then they had called her to a sofa, where she

now sat, ensconced between them, chattering alter-
nately in French and broken English, absorbing not
only the young ladies' attention, but that of Mrs.
Eshton and Lady Lynn, and getting spoilt to her
heart's content.

At last coffee is brought in, and the gentlemen

289 U
 JANE EYRE

are summoned. I sit in the shade- if any shade

there be in this brilliantly-lit apartment ; the
window-curtain half hides me. Again the arch
yawns they come. The collective appearance of

the gentlemen, like that of the ladies, is very

imposing they are all costumed in black ; most of
them are tall, some young. Henry and Frederick
Lynn are very dashing sparks, indeed ; and Colonel
Dent is a fine soldierly man. Mr. Eshton, the
magistrate of the district, is gentleman - like his
hair is quite white, his eyebrows and whiskers still
dark, which gives him something of the appearance
of a " père noble de théâtre. " Lord Ingram, like
his sisters, is very tall ; like them, also, he is hand-
some ; but he shares Mary's apathetic and listless
look he seems to have more length of limb than
vivacity of blood or vigour of brain.
And where is Mr. Rochester ?
He comes in last : I am not looking at the arch,
yet I see him enter. I try to concentrate my
attention on those netting-needles, on the meshes
of the purse I am forming-I wish to think only of
the work I have in my hands, to see only the silver
beads and silk threads that lie in my lap ; whereas ,
I distinctly behold his figure, and I inevitably recall
the moment when I last saw it : just after I had
rendered him, what he deemed, an essential service
--and he, holding my hand, and looking down on
my face, surveyed me with eyes that revealed a
heart full and eager to overflow ; in whose emotions
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 JANE EYRE

I had a part. How near had I approached him at

that moment ! What had occurred since calculated

to change his and my relative positions ? Yet now,

how distant, how far estranged we were ! So far
estranged, that I did not expect him to come and
speak to me. I did not wonder, when , without
looking at me, he took a seat at the other side of

the room, and began conversing with some of the

ladies.
No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted

on them, and that I might gaze without being

observed, than my eyes were drawn involuntarily to
his face I could not keep their lids under control :
they would rise, and the irids would fix on him. I
looked, and had an acute pleasure in looking, —a
precious, yet poignant pleasure ; pure gold, with a
steely point of agony ; a pleasure like what the
thirst- perishing man might feel who knows the well
to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and
drinks divine draughts nevertheless.
Most true is it that " beauty is in the eye of the
gazer." My master's colourless, olive face , square,
massive brow, broad and jetty eyebrows, deep eyes,
strong features, firm, grim mouth, -all energy, de-
cision, will , were not beautiful, according to rule ;
but they were more than beautiful to me : they were
full of an interest, an influence that quite mastered
me, that took my feelings from my own power and
fettered them in his. I had not intended to love
him the reader knows that I had wrought hard to
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 JANE EYRE

extirpate from my soul the germs of love there de-

tected ; and now, at the first renewed view of him,
they spontaneously revived, green and strong ! He
made me love him without looking at me.
I compared him with his guests . What was the
gallant grace of the Lynns, the languid elegance of
Lord Ingram, even the military distinction of
Colonel Dent, contrasted with his look of native pith
and genuine power ? I had no sympathy in their
appearance, their expression : yet I could imagine
that most observers would call them attractive , hand-
some, imposing ; while they would pronounce Mr.
Rochester at once harsh-featured and melancholy-
looking. I saw them smile, laugh-it was nothing :
the light of the candles had as much soul in it as
their smile the tinkle of the bell as much significance
as their laugh. I saw Mr. Rochester smile :-his stern
features softened ; his eye grew both brilliant and
gentle, its ray both searching and sweet. He was
talking, at the moment, to Louisa and Amy Eshton.
I wondered to see them receive with calm that look

which seemed to me so penetrating : I expected their

eyes to fall, their colour to rise, under it ; yet I was
glad when I found they were in no sense moved.
" He is not to them what he is to me," I thought.
" He is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine ;-I
am sure he is, — I feel akin to him,-I understand the
language of his countenance and movements : though
rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in
my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that
292
 JANE EYRE

assimilates me mentally to him. Did I say, a few

days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to
receive my salary at his hands ? Did I forbid myself
to think of him in any other light than as a pay-
master ? Blasphemy against nature ! Every good,
true, vigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively
round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments :
I must smother hope ; I must remember that he
cannot care much for me. For when I say that I am
of his kind, I do not mean that I have his force
to influence, and his spell to attract ; I mean only
that I have certain tastes and feelings in common
with him . I must, then, repeat continually that we
are for ever sundered :—and yet, while I breathe and
think, I must love him. "
Coffee is handed. The ladies, since the gentlemen

entered, have become lively as larks ; conversation

waxes brisk and merry. Colonel Dent and Mr.
Eshton argue on politics ; their wives listen . The

two proud dowagers, Lady Lynn and Lady Ingram,

confabulate together. Sir George-whom, by-the-
bye, I have forgotten to describe, a very big, and
very fresh-looking country gentleman, stands before
their sofa, coffee- cup in hand, and occasionally
puts in a word. Mr. Frederick Lynn has taken
a seat beside Mary Ingram, and is showing her the
engravings of a splendid volume : she looks, smiles
now and then, but apparently says little. The tall
and phlegmatic Lord Ingram leans with folded arms
on the chair- back of the little and lively Amy Eshton ;
293
 JANE EYRE

she glances up at him, and chatters like a wren : she

likes him better than she does Mr. Rochester.

Henry Lynn has taken possession of an ottoman at

the feet of Louisa ; Adèle shares it with him he is
trying to talk French with her, and Louisa laughs at
his blunders. With whom will Blanche Ingram pair ?
She is standing alone at the table, bending grace-
fully over an album. She seems waiting to be sought,
but she will not wait too long : she herself selects a
mate.

Mr. Rochester, having quitted the Eshtons , stands

on the hearth as solitary as she stands by the table ;
she confronts him, taking her station on the opposite
side of the mantelpiece .

"Mr. Rochester, I thought you were not fond of

children ? "
" Nor am I."

" Then what induced you to take charge of such a

"Where
little doll as that ? " (pointing to Adèle ) .
did you pick her up ? "
" I did not pick her up ; she was left on my hands . "
" You should have sent her to school. "
" I could not afford it : schools are so dear."
(6
Why, I suppose you have a governess for her : I
saw a person with her just now-is she gone ? Oh
no there she is still, behind the window- curtain .
You pay her, of course ; I should think it quite as
expensive , more so ; for you have them both to keep
in addition."

I feared or should I say hoped ? —the allusion

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 JANE EYRE

to me would make Mr. Rochester glance my way :

and I involuntarily shrank further into the shade ;

but he never turned his eyes.

" I have not considered the subject," said he

indifferently, looking straight before him .
" No-you men never do consider economy and
common sense. You should hear mamma on the

chapter of governesses. Mary and I have had, I

should think, a dozen at least in our day ; half of
them detestable and the rest ridiculous, and all
incubi- were they not, mamma ? "
" Did you speak, my own ? ”
The young lady thus claimed as the dowager's
special property, reiterated her question with an
explanation.
66
'My dearest, don't mention governesses ; the
word makes me nervous. I have suffered a martyr-
dom from their incompetency and caprice . I thank
Heaven I have now done with them !"
Mrs. Dent here bent over to the pious lady, and
whispered something in her ear ; I suppose from the
answer elicited, it was a reminder that one of the
anathematized race was present.

" Tant pis ! " said her ladyship, " I hope it may do
her good ! " Then, in a lower tone, but still loud
enough for me to hear, " I noticed her ; I am a judge
of physiognomy, and in hers I see all the faults of
her class ."

" What are they, madam ? " inquired Mr. Rochester

aloud.

295
 JANE EYRE

" I will tell you in your private ear,” replied she,

wagging her turban three times with portentous
significancy.
"But my curiosity will be past its appetite ; it
craves food now."
" Ask Blanche ; she is nearer you than I."
Oh, don't refer him to me, mamma ! I have just
one word to say of the whole tribe ; they are a
nuisance. Not that I ever suffered much from them ;
I took care to turn the tables. What tricks

Theodore and I used to play on our Miss Wilsons ,

and Mrs. Greys, and Madame Jouberts ! Mary was
always too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit. The
best fun was with Madame Joubert : Miss Wilson

was a poor sickly thing, lachrymose and low- spirited ;

not worth the trouble of vanquishing , in short ; and
Mrs. Grey was coarse and insensible ; no blow took
effect on her. But poor Madame Joubert ! I see
her yet in her raging passions when we had driven
her to extremities-spilt our tea, crumbled our
bread and butter, tossed our books up to the ceiling,
and played a charivari with the ruler and desk,
the fender and fire -irons. Theodore , do you
""
remember those merry days ?

"Yaas, to be sure I do," drawled Lord Ingram ;

" and the poor old stick used to cry out, ' Oh, you
villains childs !' and then we sermonized her on the

presumption of attempting to teach such clever

blades as we were when she was herself so ignorant. "
" We did ; and Tedo , you know, I helped you in
296
 JANE EYRE

prosecuting (or persecuting) your tutor, whey-faced

Mr. Vining the parson in the pip, as we used to
call him. He and Miss Wilson took the liberty of
falling in love with each other at least Tedo and I
thought so ; we surprised sundry tender glances and
sighs which we interpreted as tokens of ' la belle
passion, ' and I promise you the public soon had the
benefit of our discovery ; we employed it as a sort
of lever to hoist our dead-weights from the house.
Dear mamma, there, as soon as she got an inkling of
the business, found out that it was of an immoral
tendency. Did you not, my lady mother ? "
" Certainly, my best. And I was quite right ;
depend on that : there are a thousand reasons why
liaisons between governesses and tutors should never
be tolerated a moment in any well-regulated house ;
firstly- "
" Oh, gracious, mamma ! Spare us the enumera-
tion ! Au reste, we all know them ; danger of bad
example to innocence of childhood ; distractions and
consequent neglect of duty on the part of the
attached- mutual alliance and reliance ; confidence
thence resulting- insolence accompanying-mutiny
and general blow-up. Am I right, Baroness Ingram
of Ingram Park ? "
66
'My lily-flower, you are right now, as always. "
"Then no more need be said ; change the

subject. "
Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this
dictum, joined in with her soft, infantine tone :
297
 JANE EYRE

“ Louisa and I used to quiz our governess too ; but

she was such a good creature, she would bear any-

thing ; nothing put her out. She was never cross
with us ; was she, Louisa ? "
" No, never ; we might do what we pleased ;
ransack her desk and her work-box, and turn her
drawers inside out ; and she was so good-natured,
she would give us anything we asked for. "
" I suppose now," said Miss Ingram, curling her
lip sarcastically, " we shall have an abstract of the
memoirs of all the governesses extant ; in order to
avert such a visitation , I again move the introduction
of a new topic. Mr. Rochester, do you second my
motion ? "

Madam, I support you on this point as on every

other. "

" Then on me be the onus of bringing it forward.

Signor Eduardo, are you in voice to-night ? "
" Donna Bianca, if you command it , I will be."
" Then, signor, I lay on you my sovereign behest
to furbish up your lungs and other vocal organs, as
they will be wanted on my royal service."
" Who would not be the Rizzio of so divine a
Mary ? "
66
A fig for Rizzio ! " cried she , tossing her head
with all its curls, as she moved to the piano. " It is
my opinion the fiddler David must have been an
insipid sort of fellow ; I like black Bothwell better :
to my mind a man is nothing without a spice of the
devil in him ; and history may say what it will of
298
 JANE EYRE

James Hepburn, but I have a notion he was just the

sort of wild, fierce, bandit hero whom I could have
consented to gift with my hand. ”
"Gentlemen, you hear ? Now which of you most
resembles Bothwell ? " cried Mr. Rochester.

" I should say the preference lies with you,"

responded Colonel Dent.
" On my honour, I am much obliged to you, " was
the reply.

Miss Ingram, who had now seated herself with

proud grace at the piano , spreading out her snowy
robes in queenly amplitude , commenced a brilliant
prelude ; talking meantime . She appeared to be on
her high horse to-night ; both her words and her air
seemed intended to excite, not only the admiration,
but the amazement of her auditors : she was evidently
bent on striking them as something very dashing
and daring indeed.
" Oh, I am so sick of the young men of the
present day ! " exclaimed she, rattling away at the
instrument. " Poor, puny things not fit to stir a

step beyond papa's park-gates : nor to go even so

far without mamma's permission and guardianship !
Creatures so absorbed in care about their pretty
faces and their white hands, and their small feet ; as
if a man had anything to do with beauty ! As if
loveliness were not the special prerogative of woman
-her legitimate appanage and heritage ! I grant
an ugly woman is a blot on the fair face of creation ;
but as to the gentlemen, let them be solicitous to
299
 JANE EYRE

possess only strength and valour : let their motto

be :-Hunt, shoot, and fight : the rest is not worth a
fillip . Such should be my device, were I a man ."
" Whenever I marry," she continued, after a pause
which none interrupted, " I am resolved my husband
shall not be a rival, but a foil to me. I will suffer

no competitor near the throne ; I shall exact an

undivided homage : his devotions shall not be
shared between me and the shape he sees in his
mirror. Mr. Rochester, now sing, and I will play for
you."
" I am all obedience ," was the response.

"Here then is a Corsair- song. Know that I dote

on Corsairs ; and for that reason, sing it ' con
spirito.' "
"Commands from Miss Ingram's lips would put
spirit into a mug of milk- and-water."
"Take care, then : if you don't please me, I will
shame you by showing how such things should be
""
done.

"That is offering a premium on incapacity : I

shall now endeavour to fail. "
" Gardez-vous en bien ! If you err wilfully, I
shall devise a proportionate punishment."
" Miss Ingram ought to be clement, for she has it
in her power to inflict a chastisement beyond mortal
endurance."

" Ha ! explain ! " commanded the lady.

" Pardon me, madam : no need of explanation :
your own fine sense must inform you that one of
300
 JANE EYRE

your frowns would be a sufficient substitute for

capital punishment. ”
" Sing ! " said she, and again touching the piano,
she commenced an accompaniment in spirited style.
" Now is my time to slip away," thought I : but
the tones that then severed the air arrested me.
Mrs. Fairfax had said Mr. Rochester possessed a fine
voice : he did—a mellow, powerful bass, into which
he threw his own feeling, his own force ; finding a
way through the ear to the heart, and there waking
sensation strangely. I waited till the last deep and
full vibration had expired-till the tide of talk,
checked an instant, had resumed its flow ; I then
quitted my sheltered corner and made my exit by
the side door, which was fortunately near. Thence

a narrow passage led into the hall : in crossing it,

I perceived my sandal was loose ; I stopped to tie it,
kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the
foot of the staircase. I heard the dining- room door
unclose ; a gentleman came out ; rising hastily, I
stood face to face with him : it was Mr. Rochester.
" How do you do ? " he asked.
" I am very well, sir. "
"Why did you not come and speak to me in the
room ? "

I thought I might have retorted the question on

him who put it : but I would not take that freedom .
I answered :-

" I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed

engaged, sir. "
301
 JANE EYRE

"What have you been doing during my

absence ? "

"Nothing particular ; teaching Adèle as usual. "

" And getting a good deal paler than you were—
as I saw at first sight. What is the matter ? "
" Nothing at all , sir. "
66
Did you take any cold that night you half
drowned me ?"
""
"Not the least.'
" Return to the drawing -room ; you are deserting
too early."
" I am tired, sir. "
He looked at me for a minute.

" And a little depressed," he said. "What about ?

""
Tell me .'

"Nothing-nothing, sir. I am not depressed. "

" But I affirm that you are so much depressed
that a few more words would bring tears to your

eyes-indeed, they are there now, shining and

swimming ; and a bead has slipped from the lash
and fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and was
not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a
servant passing, I would know what all this means .
Well, to-night I excuse you ; but understand that so
long as my visitors stay I expect you to appear in
the drawing- room every evening. It is
is my wish ;
don't neglect it. Now go, and send Sophie for
Adèle. Good-night, my-" He stopped, bit his
lip, and abruptly left me.

302
 CHAPTER XVIII .

MERRY days were these at Thornfield Hall, and busy

days too. How different from the first three months
of stillness , monotony, and solitude I had passed
beneath its roof ! All sad feelings seemed now
driven from the house, all gloomy associations for-
gotten there was life everywhere, movement all day
long. You could not now traverse the gallery, once
so hushed, nor enter the front chambers, once so
tenantless , without encountering a smart lady's-
maid or a dandy valet.
The kitchen, the butler's pantry, the servants'
hall, were equally alive ; and the saloons were only
left void and still when the blue sky and halcyon
sunshine of the genial spring weather called their
occupants out into the grounds. Even when that
weather was broken, and continuous rain set in for
some days, no damp seemed cast over enjoyment ;
indoor amusements only became more lively and
varied, in consequence of the stop put to outdoor
gaiety.
I wondered what they were going to do the first
evening a change of entertainment was proposed :
303
 JANE EYRE

they spoke of " playing charades," but in my

ignorance I did not understand the term. The

servants were called in, the dining- room tables

wheeled away, the lights otherwise disposed, the
chairs placed in a semi - circle opposite the arch.
While Mr. Rochester and the other gentlemen
directed these alterations , the ladies were running
up and downstairs ringing for their maids. Mrs.
Fairfax was summoned to give information respect-
ing the resources of the house in shawls, dresses ,
draperies of any kind ; and certain wardrobes of the
third storey were ransacked , and their contents in
the shape of brocaded and hooped petticoats, satin
sacques, black modes , lace lappets, etc. , were brought
down in armfuls by the Abigails ; then a selection
was made, and such things as were chosen were
carried to the boudoir within the drawing-room.
Meantime , Mr. Rochester had again summoned the
ladies round him, and was selecting certain of their
number to be of his party. " Miss Ingram is mine,
of course," said he afterwards he named the two
Misses Eshton and Mrs. Dent. He looked at me : I

happened to be near him, as I had been fastening

the clasp of Mrs. Dent's bracelet, which had got
loose.

" Will you play ? " he asked. I shook

shook my head.
He did not insist, which I rather feared he would
have done he allowed me to return quietly to my
usual seat.
He and his aids now withdrew behind the curtain :

304
 JANE EYRE

the other party, which was headed by Colonel Dent,

sat down on the crescent of chairs. One of the
gentlemen, Mr. Eshton , observing me, seemed to
propose that I should be asked to join them, but
Lady Ingram instantly negatived the notion.
" No," I heard her say ; " she looks too stupid for
any game of the sort."

Ere long, a bell tinkled, and the curtain drew up.

Within the arch, the bulky figure of Sir George Lynn,
whom Mr. Rochester had likewise chosen, was seen

enveloped in a white sheet : before him, on a table,

lay open a large book ; and at his side stood Amy
Eshton, draped in Mr. Rochester's cloak, and holding
a book in her hand. Somebody, unseen, rang the
bell merrily ; then Adèle (who had insisted on being
one of her guardian's party) bounded forward , scat-
tering round her the contents of a basket of flowers
she carried on her arm. Then appeared the mag-

nificent figure of Miss Ingram, clad in white, a long

veil on her head, and a wreath of roses round her
brow ; by her side walked Mr. Rochester, and
together they drew near the table. They knelt, while
Mrs. Dent and Louisa Eshton, dressed also in white,
took up their stations behind them. A ceremony
followed, in dumb show, in which it was easy to
recognize the pantomime of a marriage . At its

termination, Colonel Dent and his party consulted in

whispers for two minutes, then the Colonel called
out " Bride ! " Mr. Rochester bowed, and the curtain
fell.

305 X
 JANE EYRE

A considerable interval elapsed before it again

rose. Its second rising displayed a more elaborately

prepared scene than the last. The drawing- room ,

as I have before observed, was raised two steps above
the dining-room, and on the top of the upper step,
placed a yard or two back within the room, appeared
a large marble basin, which I recognized as an
ornament of the conservatory-where it usually
stood, surrounded by exotics, and tenanted by gold-
fish-and whence it must have been transported with
some trouble, on account of its size and weight.
Seated on the carpet, by the side of this basin, was
seen Mr. Rochester, costumed in shawls , with a
turban on his head. His dark eyes and swarth skin
and Paynim features suited the costume exactly ; he
looked the very model of an Eastern emir ; an agent
or a victim of the bowstring. Presently advanced
into view Miss Ingram. She, too, was attired in
Oriental fashion : a crimson scarf tied sash-like round
the waist ; an embroidered handkerchief knotted

about her temples ; her beautifully moulded arms

bare, one of them upraised in the act of supporting
a pitcher, poised gracefully on her head. Both her
cast of form and feature, her complexion and her
general air, suggested the idea of some Israelitish
princess of the patriarchal days ; and such was
doubtless the character she intended to represent.
She approached the basin, and bent over it as if to
fill her pitcher ; she again lifted it to her head. The
personage on the well-brink now seemed to accost
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 JANE EYRE

her ; to make some request-"She hasted, let down

her pitcher on her hand and gave him to drink.”
From the bosom of his robe , he then produced a
casket, opened it and showed magnificent bracelets
and earrings ; she acted astonishment and admira-
tion ; kneeling, he laid the treasure at her feet ;
incredulity and delight were expressed by her looks
and gestures ; the stranger fastened the bracelets on
her arms, and the rings in her ears. It was Eliezer
and Rebecca : the camels only were wanting.

The divining party again laid their heads together :

apparently they could not agree about the word or
syllable this scene illustrated. Colonel Dent, their
spokesman, demanded " the tableau of the whole ; "
whereupon the curtain again descended .
On its third rising, only a portion of the drawing-
room was disclosed ; the rest being concealed by a
screen, hung with some sort of dark and coarse
drapery. The marble basin was removed ; in its
place stood a deal table and a kitchen chair ; these
objects were visible by a very dim light proceeding
from a horn lantern, the wax candles being all
extinguished.
Amidst this sordid scene sat a man with his

clenched hands resting on his knees, and his eyes

bent on the ground. I knew Mr. Rochester ; though
the begrimed face, the disordered dress (his coat
hanging loose from one arm, as if it had been almost
torn from his back in a scuffle ) , the desperate and
scowling countenance, the rough, bristling hair,
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 JANE EYRE

might well have disguised him. As he moved , a

chain clanked ; to his wrists were attached fetters .
"Bridewell ! " exclaimed Colonel Dent, and the
charade was solved.

A sufficient interval having elapsed for the

performers to resume their ordinary costumes, they
re-entered the dining-room. Mr. Rochester led in
Miss Ingram ; she was complimenting him on his
acting.
"Do you know," said she, " that of the three

characters, I liked you in the last best ? Oh, had

you but lived a few years earlier, what a gallant
gentleman-highwayman you would have made ! "
" Is all the soot washed from my face ? " he asked,
turning it towards her.
"Alas, yes ; the more's the pity ! Nothing could
be more becoming to your complexion than that
ruffian's rouge ."

" You would like a hero of the road, then ? "

" An English hero of the road would be the next
best thing to an Italian bandit, and that could only
be surpassed by a Levantine pirate. "
66
Well, whatever I am, remember you are my
wife ; we were married an hour since in the presence
of all these witnesses ." She giggled, and her colour
rose.
66
Now, Dent," continued Mr. Rochester, " it is
your turn." And as the other party withdrew, he
and his band took the vacated seats . Miss Ingram

placed herself at her leader's right hand ; the other

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 JANE EYRE

diviners filled the chairs on each side of him and

her. I did not now watch the actors ; I no longer
waited with interest for the curtain to rise ; my
attention was absorbed by the spectators ; my eyes,
erewhile fixed on the arch, were now irresistibly
attracted to the semi- circle of chairs. What charade
Colonel Dent and his party played , what word they
chose, how they acquitted themselves, I no longer
remember ; but I still see the consultation which
followed each scene : I see Mr. Rochester turn to

Miss Ingram and Miss Ingram to him ; I see her

incline her head towards him, till the jetty curls
almost touch his shoulder and wave against his
cheek ; I hear their mutual whisperings ; I recall
their interchanged glances ; and something even of
the feeling roused by the spectacle returns in
memory at this moment.

I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love

Mr. Rochester : I could not unlove him now, merely
because I found that he had ceased to notice me-

because I might pass hours in his presence, and he

would never once turn his eyes in my direction—
because I saw all his attentions appropriated by a
great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem
of her robes as she passed ; who, if ever her dark
and imperious eye fell on me by chance, would
withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to
merit observation. I could not unlove him, because
I felt sure he would soon marry this very lady-
because I read daily in her a proud security in his
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 JANE EYRE

intentions respecting her because I witnessed

hourly in him a style of courtship which, if careless
and choosing rather to be sought than to seek, was
yet, in its very carelessness , captivating, and in its
very pride, irresistible.

There was nothing to cool or banish love in these

circumstances ; though much to create despair.
Much, too, you will think, reader, to engender
jealousy if a woman in my position could presume
to be jealous of a woman in Miss Ingram's . But I
was not jealous or very rarely ; the nature of the
pain I suffered could not be explained by that word.
Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy : she was
too inferior to excite the feeling. Pardon the
seeming paradox : I mean what I say. She was
very showy, but she was not genuine : she had a fine
person, many brilliant attainments ; but her mind
was poor, her heart barren by nature : nothing
bloomed spontaneously on that soil ; no unforced
natural fruit delighted by its freshness. She was
not good ; she was not original : she used to repeat
sounding phrases from books : she never offered,
nor had, an opinion of her own. She advocated a
high tone of sentiment ; but she did not know the
sensations of sympathy and pity ; tenderness and
truth were not in her. Too often she betrayed this
by the undue vent she gave to a spiteful antipathy
she had conceived against little Adèle ; pushing her
away with some contumelious epithet if she happened
to approach her ; sometimes ordering her from the
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 JANE EYRE

⚫oom , and always treating her with coldness and

Acrimony. Other eyes besides mine watched these
manifestations of character-watched them closely,
keenly, shrewdly. Yes ; the future bridegroom, Mr.
Rochester himself, exercised over his intended a
ceaseless surveillance and it was from this sagacity
-this guardedness of his-this perfect clear con-
sciousness of his fair one's defects- this obvious

absence of passion in his sentiments towards her,

that my ever-torturing pain arose.
I saw he was going to marry her, for family,
perhaps political reasons ; because her rank and
connections suited him ; I felt he had not given her
his love, and that her qualifications were ill adapted
to win from him that treasure. This was the point
-this was where the nerve was touched and teazed
-this was where the fever was sustained and fed :
she could not charm him.

If she had managed the victory at once, and he

had yielded and sincerely laid his heart at her feet,
I should have covered my face, turned to the wall,
and (figuratively) have died to them. If Miss

Ingram had been a good and noble woman, endowed

with force, fervour, kindness , sense, I should have
had one vital struggle with two tigers-jealousy and
despair then, my heart torn out and devoured , I
-
should have admired her acknowledged her excel-
lence, and been quiet for the rest of my days : and
the more absolute her superiority, the deeper would
have been my admiration-the more truly tranquil
311
 JANE EYRE

my quiescence. But as matters really stood, to

watch Miss Ingram's efforts at fascinating Mr.
Rochester, to witness their repeated failure- herself
unconscious that they did fail ; vainly fancying that
each shaft launched, hit the mark, and infatuatedly
pluming herself on success, when her pride and self-
complacency repelled further and further what she
wished to allure-to witness this, was to be at once
under ceaseless excitation and ruthless restraint.

Because, when she failed , I saw how she might

have succeeded. Arrows that continually glanced
off from Mr. Rochester's breast, and harmless fell at
his feet, might, I knew, if shot by a surer hand, have
quivered keen in his proud heart-have called love
into his stern eye, and softness into his sardonic
face or, better still, without weapons a silent con-
quest might have been won.
"Why can she not influence him more when she is
privileged to draw so near to him ? " I asked myself.
Surely she cannot truly like him ; or cannot like
him with true affection ! If she did, she need not
coin her smiles so lavishly ; flash her glances so un-
remittingly ; manufacture airs so elaborate , graces so
multitudinous. It seems to me, that she might, by
merely sitting quietly at his side, saying little and
looking less, get nigher his heart. I have seen in
his face a far different expression from that which
hardens it now while she is so vivaciously accosting
him but then it came of itself ; it was not elicited
by meretricious arts and calculated manœuvres ;

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 JANE EYRE

and one had but to accept it-to answer what he

asked without pretension, to address him when
needful without grimace-and it increased and grew
1
kinder and more genial, and warmed one like a
fostering sunbeam. How will she manage to please
him when they are married ? I do not think she will
manage it ; and yet it might be managed ; and his
wife might, I verily believe, be the very happiest
woman the sun shines on."

I have not yet said anything condemnatory of Mr.

Rochester's project of marrying for interest and con-
nections. It surprised me when I first discovered
that such was his intention : I had thought him
a man unlikely to be influenced by motives so
commonplace in his choice of a wife ; but the longer
I considered the position, education, etc. , of the
parties, the less I felt justified in judging or blaming
either him or Miss Ingram, for acting in conformity

to ideas and principles instilled into them, doubtless ,

from their childhood. All their class held these

principles ; I supposed, then, they had reasons for

holding them such as I could not fathom. It seemed
to me that, were I a gentleman like him, I would
take to my bosom only such a wife as I could love ;
but the very obviousness of the advantages to the
husband's own happiness, offered by this plan, con-
vinced me that there must be arguments against its
general adoption of which I was quite ignorant :
otherwise I felt sure all the world would act as I
wished to act.

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 JANE EYRE

But in other points, as well as this, I was growing

very lenient to my master : I was forgetting all his
faults, for which I had once kept a sharp look out.
It had formerly been my endeavour to study all sides
of his character : to take the bad with the good ;
and, from the just weighing of both, to form an
equitable judgment. Now I saw no bad. The
sarcasm that had repelled, the harshness that had
startled me once, were only like keen condiments in
a choice dish : their presence was pungent, but their
absence would be felt as comparatively insipid. And
as for the vague something-was it a sinister or a
sorrowful, a designing or a desponding, expression ?
that opened upon a careful observer, now and then ,
in his eye, and closed again before one could fathom
the strange depth partially disclosed ; that some-
thing which used to make me fear and shrink, as if I
had been wandering amongst volcanic-looking hills ,
and had suddenly felt the ground quiver, and seen it
gape that something I, at intervals , beheld still ; and
with throbbing heart, but not with palsied nerves.
Instead of wishing to shun , I longed only to dare-to
divine it ; and I thought Miss Ingram happy, because
one day she might look into the abyss at her
leisure, explore its secrets and analyze their nature.

Meantime, while I thought only of my master and

his future bride-saw only them, heard only their
discourse, and considered only their movements
of importance-the rest of the party were occupied
with their own separate interests and pleasures.
314
 JANE EYRE

The ladies Lynn and Ingram continued to consort

in solemn conferences ; where they nodded their
two turbans at each other, and held up their

four hands in confronting gestures of surprise,

or mystery, or horror, according to the theme
on which their gossip ran, like a pair of mag-
nified puppets. Mild Mrs. Dent talked with
good-natured Mrs. Eshton ; and the two sometimes
bestowed a courteous word or smile on me.

Sir George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and Mr. Eshton dis-

cussed politics , or county affairs , or justice business .
Lord Ingram flirted with Amy Eshton ; Louisa
played and sang to and with one of the Messrs . Lynn ;
and Mary Ingram listened languidly to the gallant
speeches of the other. Sometimes all, as with one
consent, suspended their by-play to observe and
listen to the principal actors : for, after all , Mr.
Rochester, and because closely connected with him
-Miss Ingram were the life and soul of the party.
If he was absent from the room an hour, a percep-

tible dulness seemed to steal over the spirits of his

guests ; and his re -entrance was sure to give a fresh
impulse to the vivacity of conversation. The want
of his animating influence appeared to be peculiarly
felt one day that he had been summoned to Millcote
on business , and was not likely to return till late.
The afternoon was wet ; a walk the party had pro-
posed to take to see a gipsy camp, lately pitched on a
common beyond Hay, was consequently deferred.
Some of the gentlemen were gone to the stables ; the
315
 JANE EYRE

younger ones, together with the young ladies, were

playing billiards in the billiard -room. The dowagers
Ingram and Lynn sought solace in a quiet game of
cards. Blanche Ingram, after having repelled, by
supercilious taciturnity, some efforts of Mrs. Dent and
Mrs. Eshton to draw her into conversation, had first
murmured over some sentimental tunes and airs on
the piano, and then, having fetched a novel from the
library, had flung herself in haughty listlessness on a
sofa, and prepared to beguile, by the spell of fiction ,
the tedious hours of absence . The room and the
house were silent : only now and then the merri-
ment of the billiard players was heard from above.
It was verging on dusk, and the clock had already
given warning of the hour to dress for dinner, when
little Adèle , who knelt by me in the drawing-room
window-seat, exclaimed , -

"Voilà Monsieur Rochester qui revient ! "

I turned, and Miss Ingram darted forwards from
her sofa the others, too, looked up from their
several occupations ; for at the same time a crunch-
ing of wheels and a splashing tramp of horse-hoofs
became audible on the wet gravel. A post- chaise
was approaching.
"What can possess him to come home in that
style ? " said Miss Ingram. "He rode Mesrour " (the
black horse), " did he not, when he went out ? and
Pilot was with him :-what has he done with the
animals ? "
As she said this she approached her tall person
316
 JANE EYRE

and ample garments so near the window that I was

obliged to bend back almost to the breaking of my
spine in her eagerness she did not observe me at
first, but when she did she curled her lip and moved
to another casement. The post-chaise stopped, the
driver rang the door- bell, and a gentleman alighted,
attired in travelling garb ; but it was not Mr.
Rochester : it was a tall, fashionable -looking man, a
stranger.
66
Provoking ! " exclaimed Miss Ingram ; " you

tiresome monkey ! " (apostrophizing Adèle), " who

perched you up in the window to give false in-
telligence ? " and she cast on me an angry glance as
if I were in fault.

Some parleying was audible in the hall, and soon

the new-comer entered . He bowed to Lady Ingram,
as deeming her the eldest lady present.
" It appears I come at an inopportune time,
madam," said he ; " when my friend, Mr. Rochester,
is from home ; but I arrive from a very long journey,
and I think I may presume so far an old and
intimate acquaintance as to instal myself here till
he returns ."

His manner was polite ; his accent, in speaking

struck me as being somewhat unusual, -not precisely
foreign, but still not altogether English : his age
might be about Mr. Rochester's, -between thirty and
forty ; his complexion was singularly sallow : other-
wise he was a fine-looking man, at first sight

especially. On closer examination , you detected

317
 JANE EYRE

something in his face that displeased ; or rather,

that failed to please. His features were regular,
but too relaxed : his eye was large and well cut, but
the life looking out of it was a tame, vacant life—at
least so I thought.

The sound of the dressing-bell dispersed the

party. It was not till after dinner that I saw him
again he then seemed quite at his ease. But I

liked his physiognomy even less than before it

struck me as being, at the same time, unsettled and
inanimate. His eye wandered , and had no meaning
in its wandering this gave him an odd look, such
as I never remembered to have seen. For a hand-

some and not an unamiable-looking man he repelled

me exceedingly : there was no power in that smooth-
skinned face of a full oval shape ; no firmness in
that aquiline nose, and small, cherry mouth ; there
was no thought on the low, even forehead ; no
command in that blank, brown eye.
As I sat in my usual nook, and looked at him with
the light of the girandoles on the mantelpiece
beaming full over him-for he occupied an arm-
chair, drawn close to the fire, and kept shrinking
still nearer, as if he were cold- I compared him
with Mr. Rochester. I think (with deference be it
spoken) the contrast could not be much greater
between a sleek gander and a fierce falcon : between
a meek sheep and the rough-coated keen -eyed dog,
its guardian.
He had spoken of Mr. Rochester as an old friend.
318
 JANE EYRE

A curious friendship theirs must have been a

pointed illustration indeed of the old adage that
" extremes meet."

Two or three of the gentlemen sat near him, and

I caught at times scraps of their conversation across
the room . At first I could not make much sense of
what I heard ; for the discourse of Louisa Eshton
and Mary Ingram, who sat nearer to me, confused
the fragmentary sentences that reached me at
intervals . These last were discussing the stranger :
they both called him a " beautiful man." Louisa
said he was a " love of a creature," and she " adored
him ; " and Mary instanced his " pretty little mouth,
and nice nose," as her ideal of the charming.
" And what a sweet-tempered forehead he has ! "
cried Louisa ; " so smooth- none of those frowning
irregularities I dislike so much : and such a placid
eye and smile ! "

And then, to my great relief, Mr. Henry Lynn

summoned them to the other side of the room, to

settle some point about the deferred excursion to

Hay Common .
I was now able to concentrate my attention on the
group by the fire, and I presently gathered that the
new-comer was called Mr. Mason : then I learnt that

he was but just arrived in England , and that he

came from some hot country : which was the reason ,
doubtless, his face was so sallow, and that he sat so
near the hearth, and wore a surtout in the house.
Presently the words Jamaica, Kingston, Spanish
319
 JANE EYRE

Town, indicated the West Indies as his residence ;

and it was with no little surprise I gathered, ere
long, that he had there first seen and become

acquainted with Mr. Rochester. He spoke of his

friend's dislike of the burning heats, the hurricanes
and rainy seasons of that region. I knew Mr.
Rochester had been a traveller : Mrs. Fairfax had

said so ; but I thought the Continent of Europe had

bounded his wanderings : till now I had never heard
a hint given of visits to more distant shores.
I was pondering these things, when an incident ,
and a somewhat unexpected one, broke the thread
of my musings. Mr. Mason, shivering as some one
chanced to open the door, asked for more coal to be
put on the fire, which had burnt out its flame,
though its mass of cinder still shone hot and red.
The footman who brought the coal, in going out,
stopped near Mr. Eshton's chair, and said some-
thing to him in a low voice, of which I heard

only the words, " old woman "-" quite trouble-

some. "

" Tell her she shall be put in the stocks if she

does not take herself off," replied the magistrate.
"No- stop ! " interrupted Colonel Dent. " Don't

send her away, Eshton ; we might turn the thing to

account ; better consult the ladies." And speaking
aloud, he continued , " Ladies, you talked of going to
Hay Common to visit the gipsy camp ; Sam, here,
says that one of the old Mother Bunches is in the
servants ' hall at this moment, and insists upon being
320
 JANE EYRE

brought in before the quality ' to tell them their

fortunes. Would you like to see her ? "
"Surely, Colonel," cried Lady Ingram, " you would
not encourage such a low impostor ? Dismiss her,
by all means, at once ! "
" But I cannot persuade her to go away, my lady,"
said the footman ; " nor can any of the servants :
Mrs. Fairfax is with her just now, entreating her to
be gone ; but she has taken a chair in the chimney-
corner, and says nothing shall stir her from it till she
gets leave to come in here."
"What does she want ? " asked Mrs. Eshton.
" To tell the gentry their fortunes ,' she says ,
ma'am ; and she swears she must and will do it."

" What is she like ? " inquired the Misses Eshton

in a breath .

" A shockingly ugly old creature, Miss ; almost as

black as a crock."
66
Why, she's a real sorceress ! " cried Frederick
Lynn. "Let us have her in, of course."
"To be sure," rejoined his brother ; " it would be a
thousand pities to throw away such a chance of fun."
" My dear boys , what are you thinking about ? "
exclaimed Mrs. Lynn.

' I cannot possibly countenance any such incon-

sistent proceeding," chimed in the Dowager Ingram.
“ Indeed, mamma, but you can—and will," pro-
nounced the haughty voice of Blanche, as she turned
round on the piano stool ; where till now she had
sat silent, apparently examining sundry sheets of
321 Y
 JANE EYRE

music. " I have a curiosity to hear my fortune told ;

therefore, Sam , order the beldame forwards."
" My darling Blanche ! recollect_"
" I do I recollect all you can suggest ; and I
must have my will-quick, Sam ! "
'Yes-yes-yes ! " cried all the juveniles, both
ladies and gentlemen. " Let her come- it will be
excellent sport ! "
The footman still lingered. "She looks such a
rough one," said he.

" Go ! " ejaculated Miss Ingram, and the man

went.
Excitement instantly seized the whole party : a
running fire of raillery and jests was proceeding
when Sam returned.
" She won't come now," said he. " She says it's
not her mission to appear before the ' vulgar herd '
(them's her words). I must show her into a room
by herself, and then those who wish to consult her
must go to her one by one. "
" You see now, my queenly Blanche," began Lady
Ingram, " she encroaches. Be advised, my angel
girl-and-"
"Show her into the library, of course," cut in the
angel girl. " It is not my mission to listen to her
before the vulgar herd either : I mean to have her
all to myself. Is there a fire in the library ? "
" Yes, ma'am- but she looks such a tinkler."
"Cease that chatter, blockhead ! and do my
bidding."
322
 JANE EYRE

Again Sam vanished ; and mystery, animation,

expectation rose to full flow once more.
" She's ready now," said the footman as he re-
appeared. " She wishes to know who will be her
first visitor. "

" I think I had better just look in upon her before

any of the ladies go," said Colonel Dent.
"Tell her, Sam, a gentleman is coming."
Sam went and returned.

" She says, sir, that she'll have no gentlemen ; they

need not trouble themselves to come near her ; nor,'"
he added, with difficulty suppressing a titter, " any
ladies either, except the young and single. "
" By Jove, she has taste ! " exclaimed Henry Lynn.
Miss Ingram rose solemnly : " I go first," she said,
in a tone which might have befitted the leader of a
forlorn hope, mounting a breach in the van of his
men.

" Oh, my best ! oh, my dearest ! pause-reflect ! "

was her mamma's cry ; but she swept past her in
stately silence, passed through the door which
Colonel Dent held open, and we heard her enter the
library.
A comparative silence ensued. Lady Ingram
thought it " le cas " to wring her hands ; which she
did accordingly. Miss Mary declared she felt, for
her part, she never dared venture. Amy and Louisa
Eshton tittered under their breath, and looked a
little frightened.
The minutes passed very slowly fifteen were
323
 JANE EYRE

counted before the library door again opened. Miss

Ingram returned to us through the arch.
Would she laugh ? Would she take it as a joke ?
All eyes met her with a glance of eager curiosity,
and she met all eyes with one ofrebuff and coldness :
she looked neither flurried nor merry ; she walked
stiffly to her seat, and took it in silence.
Well, Blanche ? " said Lord Ingram.
"What did she say, sister ? " asked Mary.
"What did you think ? How do you feel ? Is
she a real fortune - teller ? " demanded the Misses
Eshton.

"Now, now, good people," returned Miss Ingram,

" don't press upon me. Really your organs of
wonder and credulity are easily excited : you seem
by the importance you all- my good mamma
included ascribe to this matter-absolutely to

believe we have a genuine witch in the house, who

is in close alliance with the old gentleman. I have
seen a gipsy-vagabond : she has practised in hack-
neyed fashion the science of palmistry, and told me
what such people usually tell. My whim is gratified ;
and now I think Mr. Eshton will do well to put
the hag in the stocks to-morrow morning as he
threatened. "

Miss Ingram took a book, leant back in her chair,

and so declined further conversation. I watched

her for nearly half an hour : during all that time she
never turned a page, and her face grew momently
darker, more dissatisfied, and more sourly expressive
324
 JANE EYRE

of disappointment. She had obviously not heard

anything to her advantage and it seemed to me,
from her prolonged fit of gloom and taciturnity, that
she herself, notwithstanding her professed in-
difference, attached undue importance to whatever
revelations had been made her.

Meantime, Mary Ingram, Amy and Louisa Eshton ,

declared they dared not go alone ; and yet they all
wished to go. A negotiation was opened through
the medium of the ambassador, Sam ; and after
much pacing to and fro, till, I think , the said Sam's
calves must have ached with the exercise, per-

mission was at last, with great difficulty, extorted

from the rigorous Sybil, for the three to wait upon
her in a body.

Their visit was not so still as Miss Ingram's had

been : we heard hysterical giggling and little shrieks
proceeding from the library ; and at the end of
about twenty minutes they burst the door open, and
came running across the hall, as if they were half-
scared out of their wits.

" I'm sure she is something not right ! " they cried,
one and all. 66 She told us such things ! She knows

all about us ! " and they sank breathless into various

seats the gentlemen hastened to bring them.
Pressed for further explanation , they declared she
had told them of things they had said and done
when they were mere children ; described books and
ornaments they had in their boudoirs at home :
keepsakes that different relations had presented to
325
 JANE EYRE

them. They affirmed that she had even divined

their thoughts , and had whispered in the ear of
each the name of the person she liked best in the
world, and informed them of what they most wished
for.

Here the gentlemen interposed with earnest

petitions to be further enlightened on these two
last-named points ; but they got only blushes,
ejaculations, tremors, and titters, in return for
their importunity. The matrons, meantime, offered
vinaigrettes and wielded fans ; and again and again
reiterated the expression of their concern that their
warning had not been taken in time ; and the elder
gentlemen laughed, and the younger urged their
services on the agitated fair ones.
In the midst of the tumult, and while my eyes and
ears were fully engaged in the scene before me, I
heard a hem close at my elbow : I turned and saw
Sam.
" If you please, Miss , the gipsy declares that there
is another young single lady in the room who has
not been to her yet, and she swears she will not go
till she has seen all. I thought it must be you :
there is no one else for it. What shall I tell
her ? "
66
Oh, I will go by all means ," I answered ; and I
was glad of the unexpected opportunity to gratify
my much-excited curiosity. I slipped out of the
room , unobserved by any eye-for the company
were gathered in one mass about the trembling trio
326
 JANE EYRE

just returned—and I closed the door quietly behind

me.
" If you like, Miss," said Sam, " I'll wait in the hall
for you ; and if she frightens you , just call and I'll
come in."
66
No, Sam, return to the kitchen : I am not in the
least afraid. " Nor was I ; but I was a good deal
interested and excited.

327
 CHAPTER XIX.

THE library looked tranquil enough as I entered it,

and the Sybil - if Sybil she were was seated snugly
enough in an easy-chair at the chimney- corner. She
had on a red cloak and a black bonnet : or rather, a
broad-brimmed gipsy-hat, tied down with a striped
handkerchief under her chin. An extinguished
candle stood on the table ; she was bending over the
fire, and seemed reading in a little black book, like
a prayer-book, by the light of the blaze : she
muttered the words to herself, as most old women
do, while she read ; she did not desist immediately
on my entrance : it appeared she wished to finish a
paragraph.
I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which
were rather cold with sitting at a distance from the
drawing- room fire. I felt now as composed as ever
I did in my life : there was nothing indeed in the
gipsy's appearance to trouble one's calm. She shut
her book and slowly looked up ; her hat-brim

partially shaded her face, yet I could see, as she

raised it, that it was a strange one. It looked all
brown and black : elf-locks bristled out from beneath
328
 JANE EYRE

a white band which passed under her chin , and came

half over her cheeks or rather jaws ; her eye con-
fronted me at once with a bold and direct gaze.
"Well, and you want your fortune told ? " she said
in a voice as decided as her glance, as harsh as her
features.
" I don't care about it, mother ; you may please
yourself : but I ought to warn you- I have no
faith."

" It's like your impudence to say so : I expected

it of you I heard it in your step as you crossed the
threshold. "

" Did you ? You've a quick ear."

" I have ; and a quick eye, and a quick brain."
"You need them all in your trade."
" I do ; especially when I've customers like you to
deal with. Why don't you tremble ? "
" I'm not cold."

' Why don't you turn pale ? "

" I'm not sick. "
66
Why don't you consult my art ?"
"I'm not silly."
The old crone " nichered " a laugh under her

bonnet and bandage : she then drew out a short

black pipe, and lighting it, began to smoke . Having
indulged a while in this sedative , she raised her
bent body, took the pipe from her lips, and while
gazing steadily at the fire , said very deliberately-
" You are cold ; you are sick ; and you are
silly."
329
 JANE EYRE

" Prove it," I rejoined.

" I will in a few words. You are cold : because

you are alone : no contact strikes the fire from you

that is in you. You are sick because the best of
feelings , the highest and the sweetest given to man,
keeps far away from you . You are silly : because,
suffer as you may, you will not betoken it to
approach ; nor will you stir one step to meet it
where it waits for you. "

She again put her short black pipe to her lips,

and renewed her smoking with vigour.
" You might say all that to almost anyone, who,
you knew, lived as a solitary dependent in a great
house."

" I might say it to almost any one ; but would it

be true of almost any one ? "
" In my circumstances. "

" Yes, just so, in your circumstances : but find

""
me another precisely placed as you are.'
" It would be easy to find you thousands."
" You could scarcely find me one. If you knew

it, you are peculiarly situated : very near happiness

-yes, within reach of it. The materials are all
prepared ; there only wants a movement to combine
them. Chance laid them somewhat apart ; let them
be once approached , and bliss results. "
" I don't understand enigmas. I never could

guess a riddle in my life."

" If you wish me to speak more plainly show me
your palm. "
330
 JANE EYRE

" And I must cross it with silver, I suppose ? "

"To be sure. "

I gave her a shilling : she put it into an old

stocking-foot which she took out of her pocket, and
having tied it round and returned it , she told me to
hold out my hand. I did. She approached her
face to the palm, and pored over it without touching
it.
" It is too fine," said she. " I can make nothing
of such a hand as that ; almost without lines :
besides, what is in a palm ? Destiny is not written
there."

" I believe you ," said I.

" No," she continued ; " it is in the face-on the
forehead, about the eyes, in the eyes themselves,
in the lines of the mouth . Kneel, and lift up your
head."

" Ah ! now you are coming to reality," I said, as I

obeyed her. " I shall begin to put some faith in
you presently."
I knelt within half a yard of her. She stirred the
fire, so that a ripple of light broke from the dis-
turbed coal the glare, however, as she sat, only
threw her face into deeper shadow ; mine it
illumined.
" I wonder with what feelings you came to me to-
night,” she said, when she had examined me a while.
"I wonder what thoughts are busy in your heart
during all the hours you sit in yonder room, with
the fine people flitting before you like shapes in a
331
 JANE EYRE

magic lantern : just as little sympathetic communion

passing between you and them, as if they were
really mere shadows of human forms and not the
actual substance. "

" I feel tired often, sleepy sometimes ; but seldom

sad."

" Then you have some secret hope to buoy you up

and please you with whispers of the future ? "
"Not I. The utmost I hope is to save money
enough out of my earnings to set up a school some
day in a little house rented by myself. "
" A mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on :
and sitting in that window-seat (you see I know your
habits)-"
" You have learned them from the servants ."
" Ah ! you think yourself sharp . Well-perhaps
I have to speak truth, I have an acquaintance with
one of them - Mrs . Poole-"

I started to my feet when I heard the name.

" You have- have you ? " thought I ; " there is
diablerie in the business after all, then ! "
" Don't be alarmed ," continued the strange being ;
" she's a safe hand, is Mrs. Poole : close and quiet :
any one may repose confidence in her. But, as I
was saying sitting in that window- seat, do you
think of nothing but your future school ? Have you
no present interest in any of the company who
occupy the sofas and chairs before you ? Is there
not one face you study ? One figure whose move-
ment you follow with, at least, curiosity ? "
332
 JANE EYRE

"I like to observe all the faces, and all the

figures. "
" But do you never single one from the rest-
or, it may be, two ? "
" I do frequently : when the gestures or looks of a
pair seem telling a tale : it amuses me to watch
them. "

"What tale do you like best to hear ?"

" Oh, I have not much choice ! They generally
run on the same theme-courtship ; and promise to
end in the same catastrophe- marriage .'
" And do you like that monotonous theme ? "
" Positively, I don't care about it : it is nothing
to me."

" Nothing to you ? When a lady, young and full

of life and health, charming with beauty and en-
dowed with the gifts of rank and fortune, sits and
smiles in the eyes of a gentleman you- "
" I what ? "

" You know—and, perhaps, think well of."

" I don't know the gentlemen here. I have
scarcely interchanged a syllable with one of them ;
and as to thinking well of them, I consider some
respectable and stately, and middle-aged , and others
young, dashing, handsome, and lively ; but certainly
they are all at liberty to be the recipients of whose
smiles they please, without my feeling disposed
to consider the transaction of any moment to
me."

" You don't know the gentlemen here ? You have

333
 JANE EYRE

not exchanged a syllable with one of them ? Will

you say that of the master of the house ? "
" He is not at home."

"A profound remark ! A most ingenious quibble !

He went to Millcote this morning, and will be back
here to-night, or to-morrow : does that circumstance
exclude him from the list of your acquaintance—
blot him, as it were , out of existence ? "
" No : but I can scarcely see what Mr. Rochester
has to do with the theme you had introduced."
" I was talking of ladies smiling in the eyes of
gentlemen ; and of late so many smiles have been
shed into Mr. Rochester's eyes that they overflow
like two cups filled above the brim ; have you never
remarked that ? "
" Mr. Rochester has a right to enjoy the society of
his guests ."

"No question about his right : but have you never

observed that, of all the tales told here about
matrimony, Mr. Rochester has been favoured with
the most lively and the most continuous ? "
" The eagerness of a listener quickens the tongue
of a narrator." I said this rather to myself than to
the gipsy ; whose strange talk, voice, manner, had
by this time wrapped me in a kind of dream. One
unexpected sentence came from her lips after
another, till I got involved in a web of mystification ;
and wondered what unseen spirit had been sitting
for weeks by my heart watching its workings, and
taking record of every pulse.
334
 JANE EYRE

"Eagerness of a listener ! " repeated she : "yes ;

Mr. Rochester has sat by the hour, his ear inclined
to the fascinating lips that took such delight in their
task of communicating ; and Mr. Rochester was so
willing to receive and looked so grateful for the
pastime given him : you have noticed this ? "
" Grateful ! I cannot remember detecting grati-
tude in his face ."
""
Detecting ! You have analyzed , then. And

what did you detect, if not gratitude ? " -I said

nothing.
" You have seen love : have you not ? —and , look-
ing forward, you have seen him married , and beheld
his bride happy ? "
"Humph ! Not exactly. Your witch's skill is
rather at fault sometimes ."
" What the devil have you seen, then ? "
" Never mind : I came here to inquire, not to
confess. Is it known that Mr. Rochester is to be
married ? "

Yes ; and to the beautiful Miss Ingram. "

" Shortly ? "
" Appearances would warrant that conclusion ; and,
no doubt (though with an audacity that wants
chastising out of you, you seem to question it), they
will be a superlatively happy pair. He must love
such a handsome, noble, witty, accomplished lady ;
and probably she loves him : or, if not his person , at
least his purse. I know she considers the Rochester
estate eligible to the last degree ; though (God
335
 JANE EYRE

pardon me ! ) I told her something on that point

about an hour ago, which made her look wondrous
grave the corners of her mouth fell half an inch.
I would advise her blackaviced suitor to look out :

if another comes, with a longer or clearer rent- roll,

-he's dished-"
" But, mother, I did not come to hear Mr.
Rochester's fortune : I came to hear my own ; and
you have told me nothing of it ."
" Your fortune is yet doubtful : when I examined
your face, one trait contradicted another. Chance

has meted you a measure of happiness : that I

know. I knew it before I came here this evening.
She has laid it carefully on one side for you. I saw
her do it. It depends on yourself to stretch out
your hand, and take it up : but whether you will do
so is a problem I study. Kneel again on the rug."
"Don't keep me long ; the fire scorches me. "
I knelt. She did not stoop towards me, but only
gazed, leaning back in her chair. She began mut-
tering, -
" The flame flickers in the eye ; the eye shines like
dew ; it looks soft and full of feeling ; it smiles at
my jargon it is susceptible ; impression follows im-
pression through its clear sphere ; where it ceases to
smile, it is sad ; an unconscious lassitude weighs on
the lid that signifies melancholy resulting from
loneliness. It turns from me ; it will not suffer
farther scrutiny ; it seems to deny, by a mocking
glance, the truth of the discoveries I have already
336
 JANE EYRE

made, -to disown the charge both of sensibility and

chagrin its pride and reserve only confirm me in
my opinion. The eye is favourable.
"As to the mouth, it delights at times in laughter ;
it is disposed to impart all that the brain conceives ;
though I dare say it would be silent on much the
heart experiences . Mobile and flexible, it was never
intended to be compressed in the eternal silence of
solitude it is a mouth which should speak much
and smile often, and have human affection for its
interlocutor. That feature too is propitious .
" I see no enemy to a fortunate issue but in the
-
brow ; and that brow professes to say, ' I can live
alone, if self-respect and circumstances require me
so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss . I
have an inward treasure, born with me, which can
keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be
withheld ; or offered only at a price I cannot afford
to give.' The forehead declares, ' Reason sits firm
and holds the reins , and she will not let the feelings
burst away and hurry her to wild chasms. The
passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as
they are ; and the desires may imagine all sorts of
vain things but judgment shall still have the last
word in every argument, and the casting vote in
every decision . Strong wind, earthquake- shock,
and fire may pass by : but I shall follow the guiding
of that still small voice which interprets the dictates
of conscience.'

" Well said, forehead ; your declaration shall be

337 Z
 JANE EYRE

respected. I have formed my plans-right plans I

deem them-and in them I have attended to the
claims of conscience, the counsels of reason . I

know how soon youth would fade and bloom perish,

if, in the cup of bliss offered , but one dreg of shame ,
or one flavour of remorse, were detected ; and I do
not want sacrifice, sorrow, dissolution - such is not
my taste. I wish to foster, not to blight- to earn
gratitude, not to wring tears of blood- no , nor of
brine my harvest must be in smiles, in endear-
ments, in sweet-That will do . I think I rave in a
kind of exquisite delirium. I should wish now to
protract this moment ad infinitum ; but I dare not.
So far I have governed myself thoroughly. I have
acted as I inwardly swore I would act ; but farther
might try me beyond my strength. Rise, Miss
Eyre : leave me ; ' the play is played out.'
Where was I ? Did I wake or sleep ? Had I
been dreaming ? Did I dream still ? The old
woman's voice had changed her accent, her

gesture, and all were familiar to me as my own

face in a glass -as the speech of my own tongue.
I got up, but did not go. I looked ; I stirred the
fire, and I looked again ; but she drew her bonnet
and her bandage closer about her face, and again
beckoned me to depart. The flame illuminated her
hand stretched out roused now, and on the alert
for discoveries , I at once noticed that hand. It was
no more the withered limb of eld than my own ;
it was a rounded supple member, with smooth
338
 JANE EYRE

fingers , symmetrically turned ; a broad ring flashed

on the little finger, and stooping forward, I looked
at it, and saw a gem I had seen a hundred times
before. Again I looked at the face , which was no
longer turned from me on the contrary, the
bonnet was doffed, the bandage displaced, the head
advanced.
" Well, Jane, do you know me ? " asked a familiar
voice.
66
Only take off the red cloak, sir, and then- "
" But the string is in a knot- help me."
" Break it, sir."
" There, then- Off, ye lendings : ' And Mr.
Rochester stepped out of his disguise.
66
Now, sir, what a strange idea ! "
" But well carried out, eh ? Don't you think so ? "
"With the ladies you must have managed well."
" But not with you ? "
" You did not act the character of a gipsy with
me."

" What character did I act ? My own ? "

" No :some unaccountable one. In short, I
believe you have been trying to draw me out-or in ;

you have been talking nonsense to make me talk

nonsense. It is scarcely fair, sir."
" Do you forgive me, Jane ?"
" I cannot tell till I have thought it all over. If,
on reflection , I find I have fallen into no great
absurdity, I shall try to forgive you ; but it was not
right."
339
 JANE EYRE
66
Oh ; you have been very correct-very careful,
very sensible."

I reflected, and thought, on the whole, I had. It

was a comfort : but, indeed, I had been on my
guard almost from the beginning of the interview.
Something of masquerade I suspected. I knew
gipsies and fortune-tellers did not express them-
selves as this seeming old woman had expressed
herself ; besides , I had noted her feigned voice ,
But my
her anxiety to conceal her features.
mind had been running on Grace Poole- that
living enigma, that mystery of mysteries, as I
considered her. I had never thought of Mr.
Rochester .
66
Well," said he, " what are you musing about ?
What does that grave smile signify ? "
" Wonder and self-congratulation , sir. I have

your permission to retire now, I suppose."

66
No ; stay a moment ; and tell me what the
people in the drawing-room yonder are doing."
66
Discussing the gipsy, I dare say."
" Sit down !-Let me hear what they said about
me. "
66
' I had better not stay long, sir ; it must be near
eleven o'clock. Oh, are you aware, Mr. Rochester,
that a stranger has arrived here since you left this
morning ? "
"A stranger !-no ; who can it be ? I expected
no one. Is he gone ? "

" No ; he said he had known you long, and that

340
 JANE EYRE

he could take the liberty of installing himself here

till you returned."

"The devil he did ! Did he give his name ? "

" His name is Mason, sir ; and he comes from the
West Indies from Spanish Town, in Jamaica, I
think."

Mr. Rochester was standing near me ; he had

taken my hand, as if to lead me to a chair. As I
spoke, he gave my wrist a convulsive grip ; the
smile on his lips froze : apparently a spasm caught
his breath.
" Mason !-the West Indies ! " he said, in a tone
one might fancy a speaking automaton to enounce
its single words : " Mason !-the West Indies ! " he
reiterated ; and he went over the syllables three
times , growing, in the intervals of speaking, whiter
than ashes he hardly seemed to know what he
was doing.
" Do you feel ill, sir ? " I inquired.
66
Jane, I've got a blow !-I've got a blow, Jane."
He staggered.
" Oh !-lean on me, sir ! "
66
Jane, you offered me your shoulder once before ;
let me have it now."
""
Yes, sir, yes ; and my arm .'
He sat down, and made me sit beside him. Hold-
ing my hand in both his own , he chafed it ; gazing on
me, at the same time, with the most troubled and
dreary look.

' My little friend ! " said he, " I wish I were in

341
 JANE EYRE

a quiet island with only you ; and trouble, and dan-

ger, and hideous recollections , removed from me."
" Can I help you, sir ?—I'd give my life to serve
you ! "
66
Jane, if aid is wanted , I'll seek it at your hands :
I promise you that."
" Thank you, sir ; tell me what to do I'll try, at
least, to do it."
" Fetch me now, Jane, a glass of wine from the
dining-room ; they will be at supper there ; and tell
me if Mason is with them, and what he is doing."
I went. I found all the party in the dining-room
at supper, as Mr. Rochester had said ; they were not
seated at table- the supper was arranged on the
sideboard ; each had taken what he chose, and they
stood about here and there in groups, their plates and
glasses in their hands. Everyone seemed in high
glee ; laughter and conversation were general and
animated. Mr. Mason stood near the fire, talking
to Colonel and Mrs. Dent, and appeared as merry as

any of them. I filled a wine-glass ( I saw Miss

Ingram watch me frowningly as I did so she
thought I was taking a liberty, I dare say), and I
returned to the library.
Mr. Rochester's extreme pallor had disappeared,
and he looked once more firm and stern. He took
the glass from my hand.
" Here is to your health, ministrant spirit ! " he
said ; he swallowed the contents and returned it to
me. " What are they doing, Jane ? "
342
 JANE EYRE
""
Laughing and talking, sir. "
66
They don't look grave and mysterious, as if they
had heard something strange ? "
" Not at all : they are full of jests and gaiety."
"And Mason ?"
" He was laughing too."
" If all these people came in a body and spat at
me, what would you do, Jane ? "
" Turn them out of the room, sir, if I could."
He half smiled. " But if I were to go to them,

and they only looked at me coldly, and whispered

sneeringly amongst each other, and then dropped off,
and left me one by one, what then ? Would you go
with them ? "
" I rather think not, sir : I should have more

pleasure in staying with you."

"To comfort me ? "
66
'Yes, sir, to comfort you, as well as I could."
" And if they laid you under a ban for adhering
to me ? "

" I, probably, should know nothing about their

ban ; and if I did I should care nothing about it. "
" Then you could dare censure for my sake ? "
" I could dare it for the sake of any friend who
deserved my adherence ; as you, I am sure, do. "
" Go back now into the room ; step quietly up to
Mason, and whisper in his ear that Mr. Rochester is
come and wishes to see him : show him in here, and
then leave me."
66
Yes, sir. "

343
 JANE EYRE

I did his behest. The company all stared at me

as I passed straight among them. I sought Mr.
Mason, delivered the message, and preceded him
from the room : I ushered him into the library, and
then I went upstairs.
At a late hour, after I had been in bed some time,
I heard the visitors repair to their chambers : I
distinguished Mr. Rochester's voice, and heard him
say, " This way, Mason ; this is your room."

He spoke cheerfully : the gay tones set my heart

at ease. I was soon asleep .

344
 CHAPTER XX.

I HAD forgotten to draw my curtain , which I usually

did ; and also to let down my window-blind. The
consequence was, that when the moon, which was full

and bright (for the night was fine ) , came in her

course to that space in the sky opposite my case-
ment, and looked in at me through the unveiled
panes, her glorious gaze roused me. Awaking in the
dead of night, I opened my eyes on her disc -silver-
white and crystal clear. It was beautiful, but too
solemn I half rose, and stretched my arm to draw
the curtain .
Good God ! What a cry !

The night its silence-its rest, was rent in twain

by a savage, a sharp, a shrilly sound, that ran from
end to end of Thornfield Hall.

My pulse stopped : my heart stood still ; my

stretched arm was paralyzed. The cry died, and was
not renewed. Indeed, whatever being uttered that
fearful shriek could not soon repeat it : not the
widest- winged condor on the Andes could, twice in
succession, send out such a yell from the cloud
345
 JANE EYRE

shrouding his eyrie. The thing delivering such

utterance must rest ere it could repeat the effort.
It came out of the third storey ; for it passed
overhead. And overhead-yes , in the room just
above my chamber ceiling-I now heard a struggle :
a deadly one it seemed from the noise ; and a half
smothered voice shouted-
66
Help ! help ! help ! " three times rapidly.
" Will no one come ? " it cried ; and then, while
the staggering and stamping went on wildly, I
distinguished, through plank and plaster :-
" Rochester ! Rochester ! for God's sake, come ! "
A chamber-door opened : some one ran, or rushed,
along the gallery. Another step stamped on the
flooring above, and something fell ; and there was
silence.

I had put on some clothes, though horror shook

all my limbs. I issued from my apartment. The
sleepers were all aroused : ejaculations, terrified
murmurs, sounded in every room ; door after door
unclosed ; one looked out, and another looked out ;
the gallery filled. Gentlemen and ladies alike had
quitted their beds ; and " Oh ! what is it ?"-" Who is
hurt ? " " What has happened ?' " Fetch a light ! "
" Is it fire ? "-" Are there robbers ?"-" Where

shall we run ? " was demanded confusedly on all

hands. But for the moonlight they would have

been in complete darkness . They ran to and fro ;

they crowded together : some sobbed, some stumbled :
the confusion was inextricable .
346
 JANE EYRE

"Where the devil is Rochester ? " cried Colonel

Dent. "I cannot find him in his bed."
" Here ! here ! " was shouted in return. " Be

composed , all of you. I am coming."

And the door at the end of the gallery opened ,
and Mr. Rochester advanced with a candle : he had

just descended from the upper storey. One of the

ladies ran to him directly ; she seized his arm : it
was Miss Ingram.
" What awful event has taken place ? " said she.
" Speak ! let us know the worst at once ! "
66
But don't pull me down or strangle me," he
replied for the Misses Eshton were clinging about
him now ; and the two dowagers, in vast white
wrappers, were bearing down on him like ships in
full sail.

" All's right !-all's right ! " he cried. "It's a

mere rehearsal of ' Much Ado about Nothing.'

Ladies, keep off ; or I shall wax dangerous."
And dangerous he looked ; his black eyes darted
sparks. Calming himself by an effort, he added-
"A servant has had the nightmare ; that is all.
She's an excitable, nervous person : she construed
her dream into an apparition, or something of that
sort, no doubt ; and has taken a fit with fright.
Now, then, I must see you all back into your rooms ;
for, till the house is settled , she cannot be looked
after. Gentlemen, have the goodness to set the
ladies the example. Miss Ingram, I am sure you
will not fail in evincing superiority to idle terrors .
347
 JANE EYRE

Amy and Louisa, return to your nests like a pair of

doves, as you are. Mesdames " (to the dowagers),
66
you will take cold to a dead certainty, if you stay
in this chill gallery any longer. "
And so, by dint of alternate coaxing and com-
manding, he contrived to get them all once more
enclosed in their separate dormitories. I did not
wait to be ordered back to mine, but retreated un-
noticed as unnoticed I had left it.

Not, however, to go to bed : on the contrary, I

began and dressed myself carefully. The sounds I
had heard after the scream, and the words that had
been uttered , had probably been heard only by me ;
for they had proceeded from the room above mine :
but they assured me that it was not a servant's
dream which had thus struck horror through the
house ; and that the explanation Mr. Rochester had
given was merely an invention framed to pacify his
guests. I dressed , then , to be ready for emergencies .
When dressed, I sat a long time by the window,
looking out over the silent grounds and silvered
fields, and waiting for I knew not what. It seemed

to me that some event must follow the strange cry,

struggle, and call.
No : stillness returned : each murmur and move-

ment ceased gradually, and in about an hour Thorn-

field Hall was again as hushed as a desert. It
seemed that sleep and night had resumed their
empire. Meantime the moon declined : she was
about to set. Not liking to sit in the cold and
348
 JANE EYRE

darkness, I thought I would lie down on my bed,

dressed as I was. I left the window, and moved
with little noise across the carpet ; as I stooped to
take off my shoes, a cautious hand tapped low at the
door.
" Am I wanted ? " I asked.

Are you up ? " asked the voice I expected to

hear-viz. , my master's.
"Yes, sir. "
66
' And dressed ? "
" Yes."
"Come out, then, quietly."
I obeyed. Mr. Rochester stood in the gallery
holding a light.
" I want you," he said : " come this way : take
your time, and make no noise."
My slippers were thin : I could walk the matted

floor as softly as a cat. He glided up the gallery

and up the stairs, and stopped in the dark, low
corridor of the fateful third storey : I had followed
and stood at his side .
" Have you a sponge in your room ? " he asked in
a whisper.
(6
Yes, sir."
" Have you any salts-volatile salts ? "
" Yes."
" Go back and fetch both."

I returned, sought the sponge on the washstand,

the salts in my drawer, and once more retraced my
steps. He still waited ; he held a key in his hand
349
 JANE EYRE

approaching one of the small , black doors, he put it

in the lock ; he paused and addressed me again.
" You don't turn sick at the sight of blood ? "
" I think I shall not : I have never been tried
yet."
I felt a thrill while I answered him ; but no cold-
ness, and no faintness.
"Just give me your hand," he said ; " it will not
do to risk a fainting fit."
I put my fingers into his. "Warm and steady,"
was his remark : he turned the key and opened the
door.
I saw a room I remembered to have seen before ;
the day Mrs. Fairfax showed me over the house : it
was hung with tapestry ; but the tapestry was now
looped up in one part, and there was a door
apparent, which had then been concealed . This
door was open ; a light shone out of the room
within I heard thence a snarling, snatching sound ,
almost like a dog quarrelling. Mr. Rochester,
putting down his candle, said to me, " Wait a
minute," and he went forward to the inner apart-
ment. A shout of laughter greeted his entrance ;
noisy at first, and terminating in Grace Poole's own
goblin ha ! ha ! She then was there. He made some
sort of arrangement, without speaking : though I
heard a low voice address him he came out and
closed the door behind him.
66
Here, Jane ! " he said ; and I walked round to
the other side of a large bed, which with its drawn
350
 JANE EYRE

curtains concealed a considerable portion of the

chamber. An easy-chair was near the bed -head : a
man sat in it, dressed with the exception of his coat ;
he was still ; his head leant back ; his eyes were
closed. Mr. Rochester held the candle over him ; I
recognised in his pale and seemingly lifeless face-
the stranger, Mason : I saw, too , that his linen on
one side, and one arm, was almost soaked in blood.
" Hold the candle," said Mr. Rochester, and I took
it ; he fetched a basin of water from the washstand :
" Hold that," said he. I obeyed. He took the
sponge, dipped it in and moistened the corpse - like
face ; he asked for my smelling-bottle, and applied
it to the nostrils. Mr. Mason shortly unclosed his
eyes ; he groaned. Mr. Rochester opened the shirt
of the wounded man, whose arm and shoulder were
bandaged he sponged away blood, trickling fast
down.

" Is there immediate danger ? " murmured Mr.

Mason.
"Pooh ! No-a mere scratch. Don't be so over-

come, man ; bear up ! I'll fetch a surgeon for you

now, myself; you'll be able to be removed by
morning, I hope. Jane," he continued.
" Sir ? "

" I shall have to leave you in this room with this

gentleman, for an hour, or perhaps two hours ; you
will sponge the blood as I do when it returns ;
if he feels faint, you will put the glass of water
on that stand to his lips, and your salts to his
351
 JANE EYRE

nose. You will not speak to him on any pretext-

and-Richard-it will be at the peril of your life if
you speak to her : open your lips-agitate yourself
-and I'll not answer for the consequences."
Again the poor man groaned : he looked as if he
dared not move fear, either of death, or of some-
thing else, appeared almost to paralyze him. Mr.
Rochester put the now bloody sponge into my hand,
and I proceeded to use it as he had done. He
watched me a second, then saying, " Remember !—
No conversation ," he left the room. I experienced
a strange feeling as the key grated in the lock, and
the sound of his retreating step ceased to be heard.
Here then I was in the third storey, fastened into
one of its mystic cells ; night around me : a pale and
bloody spectacle under my eyes and hands ; a
murderess hardly separated from me by a single
door : yes that was appalling the rest I could
bear ; but I shuddered at the thought of Grace Poole
bursting out upon me.
I must keep to my post, however. I must watch
this ghastly countenance-these blue, still lips for-
bidden to unclose these eyes now shut, now

opening, now wandering through the room, now

fixing on me, and ever glazed with the dulness of
horror. I must dip my hand again and again in the
basin of blood and water, and wipe away the trickling
gore. I must see the light of the unsnuffed candle
wane on my employment ; the shadows darken on

the wrought, antique tapestry round me, and grow

352
 JANE EYRE

black under the hangings of the vast old bed, and

quiver strangely over the doors of a great cabinet
opposite- whose front, divided into twelve panels,
bore, in grim design, the heads of the twelve apostles ,
each enclosed in its separate panel as in a frame ;
while above them at the top rose an ebon crucifix
and a dying Christ.
According as the shifting obscurity and flickering
gleam hovered here or glanced there, it was now the
bearded physician, Luke, that bent his brow ; now
St. John's long hair that waved ; and anon the
devilish face of Judas, that grew out of the panel,
and seemed gathering life and threatening a revela-
tion of the arch-traitor-of Satan himself-in his
subordinate's form.
Amidst all this , I had to listen as well as watch ;
to listen for the movements of the wild beast

or the fiend in yonder side den. But since Mr.

Rochester's visit it seemed spell- bound : all the
night I heard but three sounds at three long
intervals a step creak, a momentary renewal of
the snarling, canine noise, and a deep human
groan.
Then my own thoughts worried me. What crime

was this that lived incarnate in this sequestered

mansion, and could neither be expelled nor subdued
by the owner ? What mystery, that broke out, now
in fire and now in blood, at the deadest hours of
night ? What creature was it, that, masked in an
ordinary woman's face and shape, uttered the voice ,
353 да
 JANE EYRE

now of a mocking demon, and anon of a carrion-

seeking bird of prey ?
And this man I bent over-this commonplace,
quiet stranger-how had he become involved in the
web of horror ? and why had the Fury flown at him ?
What made him seek this quarter of the house at an
untimely season, when he should have been asleep
in bed ? I had heard Mr. Rochester assign him an
apartment below-what brought him here ? And
why, now, was he so tame under the violence or

treachery done him ? Why did he so quietly submit

to the concealment Mr. Rochester enforced ? Why
did Mr. Rochester enforce this concealment ? His

guest had been outraged, his own life on a former

occasion had been hideously plotted against ; and
both attempts he smothered in secrecy and sank in
oblivion ! Lastly, I saw Mr. Mason was submissive to
Mr. Rochester ; that the impetuous will of the latter
held complete sway over the inertness of the former :
the few words which had passed between them
assured me of this . It was evident that in their

former intercourse the passive disposition of the

one had been habitually influenced by the active
energy of the other : whence then had arisen
Mr. Rochester's dismay when he heard of Mr.
Mason's arrival ? Why had the mere name of

this unresisting individual- whom his word had

sufficed to control like a child-fallen on him, a
few hours since, as a thunderbolt might fall on
an oak ?

354
 JANE EYRE

Oh ! I could not forget his look and his paleness

when he whispered : " Jane, I have got a blow-I
have got a blow, Jane ! " I could not forget how the
arm had trembled which he rested on my shoulder :
and it was no light matter which could thus bow
the resolute spirit and thrill the vigorous frame of
Fairfax Rochester.
" When will he come ? When will he come ? " I

cried inwardly, as the night lingered and lingered-

as my bleeding patient drooped, moaned , sickened :
and neither day nor aid arrived . I had , again and
again, offered him the stimulating salts : my efforts
seemed ineffectual : either bodily or mental suffer-
ing, or loss of blood, or all three combined , were fast
prostrating his strength. He moaned so, and looked

so weak, wild, and lost, I feared he was dying ; and

I might not even speak to him !
The candle , wasted at last, went out ; as it expired
I perceived streaks of grey light edging the window
curtains ; dawn was then approaching. Presently I
heard Pilot bark far below, out of his distant kennel
in the courtyard : hope revived. Nor was it un-

warranted in five minutes more the grating key,

the yielding lock, warned me my watch was relieved.
It could not have lasted more than two hours : many
a week has seemed shorter.
Mr. Rochester entered, and with him the surgeon
he had been to fetch.
66
Now, Carter, be on the alert," he said to this
last. " I give you but half an hour for dressing the
355
 JANE EYRE

wound, fastening the bandages, getting the patient

downstairs and all."
" But is he fit to move, sir ? "
"No doubt of it ; it is nothing serious : he is
nervous, his spirit must be kept up. Come, set to
work. "

Mr. Rochester drew back the thick curtain, drew

up the holland blind, let in all the daylight he could ;
and I was surprised and cheered to see how far
dawn was advanced : what rosy streaks were begin-
ning to brighten the east. Then he approached
Mason, whom the surgeon was already handling .
" Now, my good fellow, how are you ? " he asked .
"She's done for me, I fear," was the faint reply.
" Not a whit !-courage ! This day fortnight you'll
hardly be a pin the worse of it : you've lost a little
blood, that's all. Carter, assure him there's no
danger. "
" I can do that conscientiously," said Carter, who
had now undone the bandages ; " only I wish I could
have got here sooner he would not have bled so
much-but how is this ? The flesh on the shoulder
is torn as well as cut. This wound was not done
with a knife : there have been teeth here ! "
"She bit me," he murmured. " She worried me

like a tigress , when Rochester got the knife from

her."

" You should not have yielded : you should have

grappled with her at once," said Mr. Rochester.
" But under such circumstances what could one

356
 JANE EYRE

do ? " returned Mason. " Oh, it was frightful," he

added, shuddering. " And I did not expect it she
looked so quiet at first."
" I said
" I warned you," was his friend's answer.
-be on your guard when you go near her. Besides,
you might have waited till to-morrow, and had me
with you : it was mere folly to attempt the interview
to-night, and alone."
" I thought I could have done some good. "
" You thought ! you thought ! Yes ; it makes me im-
patient to hear you : but, however, you have suffered ,
and are likely to suffer enough for not taking my
advice, so I'll say no more. Carter-hurry ! -hurry !
The sun will soon rise , and I must have him off. "

" Directly, sir : the shoulder is just bandaged . I

must look to this other wound in the arm : she has
had her teeth here too , I think. "
" She sucked the blood ! she said she'd drain my
heart ! " said Mason.
I saw Mr. Rochester shudder ; a singularly

marked expression of disgust, horror, hatred , warped

his countenance almost to distortion ; but he only
said-
66
Come, be silent, Richard , and never mind her
gibberish ; don't repeat it. "
" I wish I could forget it," was the answer.
" You will when you are out of the country : when
you get back to Spanish Town, you may think of her
as dead and buried—or, rather, you need not think
of her at all. "

357
 JANE EYRE
66 ""
Impossible to forget this night !
"It is not impossible : have some energy, man.
You thought you were as dead as a herring two
hours since, and you are all alive and talking now.
There -Carter has done with you or nearly so ; I'll
make you decent in a trice. Jane " (he turned to
me for the first time since his re-entrance), “ take
this key go down to my bedroom, and walk straight
forward into my dressing-room ; open the top drawer
of the wardrobe and take out a clean shirt and neck-
handkerchief : bring them here ; and be nimble."
I went ; sought the repository he had mentioned,
found the articles named, and returned with them.
66
Now," said he, " go to the other side of the bed
while I order his toilet ; but don't leave the room :
you may be wanted again."
I retired as directed.

"Was anybody stirring below when you went

down, Jane ? " inquired Mr. Rochester presently.
" No, sir ; all was very still ."
" We shall get you off cannily, Dick : and it will
be better, both for your sake and for that of the poor
creature in yonder. I have striven long to avoid
exposure, and I should not like it to come at last.
Here, Carter, help him on with his waistcoat.
Where did you leave your furred cloak ? You can't
travel a mile without that, I know, in this damned
cold climate. In your room ? Jane, run down to
Mr. Mason's room-the one next mine-and fetch a
cloak you will see there."
358
 JANE EYRE

Again I ran, and again returned, bearing an

immense mantle, lined and edged with fur.
66
Now, I've another errand for you," said my un-
tiring master ; " you must away to my room again.
What a mercy you are shod with velvet, Jane !-a
clod-hopping messenger would never do at this

juncture. You must open the middle drawer of my

toilet-table and take out a little phial and a little
glass you will find there-quick ! "
I flew thither and back, bringing the desired
vessels .

" That's well ! Now, doctor, I shall take the liberty

of administering a dose myself; on my own respon-
sibility. I got this cordial at Rome, of an Italian
charlatan—a fellow you would have kicked , Carter.
It is not a thing to be used indiscriminately, but it is
good upon occasion : as now, for instance. Jane, a
little water."

He held out the tiny glass, and I half filled it from

the water-bottle on the washstand.
" That will do : now wet the lip of the phial."
I did so he measured twelve drops of a crimson
liquid, and presented it to Mason.
66
Drink, Richard : it will give you the heart you
lack, for an hour or so."
" But will it hurt me ?—is it inflammatory."
" Drink ! drink ! drink ! "
Mr. Mason obeyed, because it was evidently use-
less to resist. He was dressed now : he still looked

pale, but he was no longer gory and sullied. Mr.

359
 JANE EYRE

Rochester let him sit three minutes after he had

swallowed the liquid ; he then took his arm.

" Now I am sure you can get on your feet," he
said ; " try."
The patient rose.
"Carter, take him under the other shoulder. Be
of good cheer, Richard ; step out : that's it ! "
" I do feel better," remarked Mr. Mason.
" I am sure you do . Now, Jane, trip on before us
away to the backstairs ; unbolt the side- passage
door, and tell the driver of the post-chaise you will
see in the yard- or just outside, for I told him not
to drive his rattling wheels over the pavement- to
be ready ; we are coming : and, Jane, if anyone is
about, come to the foot of the stairs and hem."

It was by this time half-past five, and the sun

was on the point of rising ; but I found the kitchen
still dark and silent . The side-passage door was

fastened ; I opened it with as little noise as possible ;

all the yard was quiet ; but the gates stood wide
open, and there was a post-chaise, with horses ready
harnessed, and driver seated on the box, stationed
outside. I approached him, and said the gentlemen
were coming ; he nodded ; then I looked carefully
round and listened. The stillness of early morning
slumbered everywhere ; the curtains were yet drawn
over the servants' chamber windows ; little birds
were just twittering in the blossom-branched orchard
trees , whose boughs drooped like white garlands
over the wall enclosing one side of the yard ; the
360
 JANE EYRE

carriage horses stamped from time to time in their

closed stables : all else was still.

The gentlemen now appeared. Mason , supported

by Mr. Rochester and the surgeon, seemed to walk
with tolerable ease : they assisted him into the
chaise ; Carter followed .
" Take care of him," said Mr. Rochester to the
latter, " and keep him at your house till he is quite
well I shall ride over in a day or two to see how he
gets on. Richard, how is it with you ? "
" The fresh air revives me, Fairfax."
" Leave the window open on his side, Carter ;
there is no wind-good-bye, Dick. "
" Fairfax-"
"Well, what is it ? "
" Let her be taken care of ; let her be treated as
tenderly as may be let her-" he stopped and burst
into tears .

" I do my best ; and have done it, and will do it, "
was the answer ; he shut up the chaise door, and the
vehicle drove away.

" Yet would to God there was an end of all this ! "
added Mr. Rochester, as he closed and barred the
heavy yard gates. This done, he moved with slow
step and abstracted air towards a door in the wall
bordering the orchard . I , supposing he had done
with me, prepared to return to the house ; again,
however, I heard him call " Jane ! " He had opened
the portal and stood at it, waiting for me.
"Come where there is some freshness for a few
361
 1

JANE EYRE

moments," he said ; " that house is a mere dungeon ;

don't you feel it so ? "

" It seems to me a splendid mansion , sir.'

" The glamour of inexperience is over your eyes,"
he answered ; " and you see it through a charmed
medium ; you cannot discern that the gilding is
slime and the silk draperies cobwebs ; that the
marble is sordid slate, and the polished woods mere
refuse chips and scaly bark. Now, here " (he
pointed to the leafy enclosure we had entered ) " is
all real, sweet, and pure."
He strayed down a walk edged with box ; with
apple-trees, pear-trees, and cherry-trees on one side,
and a border on the other, full of all sorts of old-
fashioned flowers, stocks , sweet-williams , primroses,
pansies, mingled with southernwood , sweetbriar, and
various fragrant herbs. They were fresh now as a
succession of April showers and gleams, followed by
a lovely spring morning, could make them : the sun
was just entering the dappled east, and his light
illumined the wreathed and dewy orchard trees and
shone down the quiet walks under them.
"Jane, will you have a flower ? "
He gathered a half-blown rose, the first on the
bush, and offered it to me.
66
Thank you, sir."
" Do you like this sunrise, Jane ? That sky with
its high and light clouds which are sure to melt
away as the day waxes warm- this placid and balmy
atmosphere ? "
362
 JANE EYRE

" I do, very much."

" You have passed a strange night, Jane."
""
Yes , sir. "
" And it has made you look pale- were you afraid
when I left you alone with Mason ? "
" I was afraid of some one coming out of the
inner room."

" But I had fastened the door-I had the key in

my pocket : I should have been a careless shepherd
if I had left a lamb-my pet lamb-so near a wolf's
den, unguarded ; you were safe. "
"Will Grace Poole live here still, sir ? "

" Oh, yes ! don't trouble your head about her-

put the thing out of your thoughts."
"Yet it seems to me your life is hardly secure
while she stays."
" Never fear- I will take care of myself."
" Is the danger you apprehended last night gone
by now, sir ? "
" I cannot vouch for that till Mason is out of Eng-
land : nor even then. To live for me, Jane , is to
stand on a crater-crust which may crack and spew
fire any day."
" But Mr. Mason seems a man easily led. Your
influence, sir, is evidently potent with him : he will
never set you at defiance, or wilfully injure you. "
66
Oh, no ! Mason will not defy me ; nor, knowing
it, will he hurt me-but, unintentionally, he might
in a moment, by one careless word, deprive me, if
not of life, yet for ever of happiness. "
363
 JANE EYRE

"Tell him to be cautious, sir : let him know what

you fear, and show him how to avert the danger. ”

He laughed sardonically, hastily took my hand,
and as hastily threw it from him.
" If I could do that, simpleton, where would the
danger be ? Annihilated in a moment. Ever since

I have known Mason I have only to say to him ‘ Do

that,' and the thing has been done. But I cannot
give him orders in this case : I cannot say ' Beware
of harming me, Richard ' ; for it is imperative that I
should keep him ignorant that harm to me is
possible. Now you look puzzled ; and I will puzzle
you farther. You are my little friend, are you not ? "
" I like to serve you , sir, and to obey you in all
that is right."

" Precisely : I see you do. I see genuine content-

ment in your gait and mien, your eye and face, when
you are helping me and pleasing me-working for
me, and with me, in, as you characteristically say,
6
all that is right ' : for if I bid you do what you
thought wrong, there would be no light-footed
running, no neat-handed alacrity, no lively glance
and animated complexion. My friend would then
turn to me, quiet and pale, and would say, ' No , sir ;
that is impossible : I cannot do it, because it is
wrong ' ; and would become immutable as a fixed
star. Well, you too have power over me, and may
injure me yet I dare not show you where I am
vulnerable, lest, faithful and friendly as you are, you
should transfix me at once."

364

1
 JANE EYRE

" If you have no more to fear from Mr. Mason

than you have from me, sir, you are very safe."

" God grant it may be so ! Here , Jane, is an

arbour ; sit down. "
The arbour was an arch in the wall, lined with
ivy ; it contained a rustic seat. Mr. Rochester took
it, leaving room, however, for me but I stood
before him .
"Sit," he said ; "the bench is long enough for
two. You don't hesitate to take a place at my side,
do you ? Is that wrong, Jane ? "
I answered him by assuming it to refuse would,
I felt, have been unwise .

" Now, my little friend, while the sun drinks the

dew- while all the flowers in this old garden awake
and expand, and the birds fetch their young ones'
breakfast out of the Thornfield , and the early bees
do their first spell of work-I'll put a case to you ,
which you must endeavour to suppose your own ;
but first, look at me, and tell me you are at ease ,
and not fearing that I err in detaining you, or that
you err in staying. "
" No, sir ; I am content."
"Well then, Jane, call to aid your fancy -sup-
pose you were no longer a girl well reared and
disciplined, but a wild boy indulged from childhood
upwards ; imagine yourself in a remote foreign land :
conceive that you there commit a capital error, no
matter of what nature or from what motives, but
one whose consequences must follow you through
365
 JANE EYRE

life and taint all your existence. Mind ; I don't say

a crime ; I am not speaking of shedding of blood or
any other guilty act, which might make the perpe-
trator amenable to the law : my word is error. The
results of what you have done become in time to
you utterly insupportable ; you take measures to
obtain relief : unusual measures, but neither un-
lawful nor culpable. Still you are miserable ; for
hope has quitted you on the very confines of life ,
your sun at noon darkens in an eclipse, which you
feel will not leave it till the time of setting. Bitter
and base associations have become the sole food of
your memory ; you wander here and there, seeking
rest in exile : happiness in pleasure -I mean in
heartless, sensual pleasure-such as dulls intellect
and blights feeling. Heart -weary and soul-withered
you come home after years of voluntary banishment ;
you make a new acquaintance- how or where , no
matter : you find in this stranger much of the good
and bright qualities which you have sought for
twenty years , and never before encountered : and
they are all fresh, healthy, without soil and without
taint. Such society revives, regenerates : you feel
better days come back-higher wishes, purer feelings :
you desire to recommence your life, and to spend
what remains to you of days in a way more worthy
of an immortal being. To attain this end, are you
justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom-a
mere conventional impediment, which neither your
conscience sanctifies nor your judgment approves ? "

366
 JANE EYRE

He paused for an answer : and what was I to say ?

Oh, for some good spirit to suggest a judicious and
satisfactory response ! Vain aspiration ! The west
wind whispered in the ivy round me but no
gentle Ariel borrowed its breath as a medium of
speech the birds sang in the tree-tops ; but their
song, however sweet, was inarticulate.
Again Mr. Rochester propounded his query—
" Is the wandering and sinful , but now rest- seeking
and repentant man justified in daring the world's
opinion, in order to attach to him for ever this
gentle, gracious, genial stranger ; thereby securing
his own peace of mind and regeneration of life ? "
" Sir," I answered , " a wanderer's repose or a
sinner's reformation should never depend on a fellow-
creature. Men and women die ; philosophers falter
in wisdom , and Christians in goodness : if any one
you know has suffered and erred, let him look higher
than his equals for strength to amend, and solace to
heal. "
" But the instrument-the instrument ! God, who
does the work, ordains the instrument . I have

myself I tell it you without parable -been a

worldly, dissipated, restless man ; and I believe I
have found the instrument for my cure, in_ "

He paused : the birds went on carolling, the leaves

lightly rustling . I almost wondered they did not
check their songs and whispers to catch the sus-
pended revelation : but they would have had to wait
many minutes —so long was the silence protracted .
367
 JANE EYRE

At last I looked up at the tardy speaker : he was

looking eagerly at me.
" Little friend," said he, in quite a changed tone-
while his face changed too ; losing all its softness
and gravity, and becoming harsh and sarcastic-
you have noticed my tender penchant for Miss
Ingram : don't you think if I married her she would

regenerate me with a vengeance ? "

He got up instantly, went quite to the other end
of the walk, and when he came back he was hum-
ming a tune.
66
" Jane, Jane," said he, stopping before me, you
are quite pale with your vigils : don't you curse me
for disturbing your rest ? "
" Curse you ? No , sir. "
" Shake hands in confirmation ofthe word. What

cold fingers ! They were warmer last night when I

touched them at the door of the mysterious chamber.
Jane, when will you watch with me again ? ”
"Whenever I can be useful, sir ."
" For instance, the night before I am married ! I
am sure I shall not be able to sleep. Will you
promise to sit up with me to bear me company ?
To you I can talk of my lovely one for now you
have seen her and know her. "
" Yes, sir."
" She's a rare one, is she not, Jane ? "
" Yes, sir."

"A strapper- a real strapper, Jane : big, brown,

and buxom ; with hair just such as the ladies of
368
 JANE EYRE

Carthage must have had. Bless me ! there's Dent

and Lynn in the stables ! Go in by the shrubbery,
through that wicket."
As I went one way, he went another, and I heard
him in the yard saying cheeringly-
"Mason got the start of you all this morning ; he
was gone before sunrise : I rose at four to see him
off. "

369 B b
 CHAPTER XXI.

PRESENTIMENTS are strange things ! and so are sym-

pathies, and so are signs and the three combined
make one mystery to which humanity has not yet
found the key. I never laughed at presentiments in
my life, because I have had strange ones of my own.
Sympathies, I believe , exist : (for instance, between
far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives :
asserting, notwithstanding their alienation , the unity
of the source to which each traces his origin), whose
workings baffle mortal comprehension. And signs,
for aught we know, may be but the sympathies of
Nature with man .

When I was a little girl, only six years old, I, one

night, heard Bessie Leaven say to Martha Abbot
that she had been dreaming about a little child ; and
that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble,
either to one's- self or one's kin. The saying might
have worn out of my memory, had not a circumstance
immediately followed which served indelibly to fix it
there. The next day Bessie was sent for home to
the deathbed of her little sister.
Of late I had often recalled this saying and this
370
 JANE EYRE

incident ; for during the past week scarcely a night

had gone over my couch that had not brought with
it a dream of an infant, which I sometimes hushed
in my arms, sometimes dandled on my knee, some-
times watched playing with daisies on a lawn, or
again, dabbling its hands in running water. It was
a wailing child this night, and a laughing one the
next ; now it nestled close to me, and now it ran
from me ; but whatever mood the apparition
evinced, whatever aspect it wore, it failed not for
seven successive nights to meet me the moment I
entered the land of slumber.
I did not like this iteration of one idea- this
strange recurrence of one image ; and I grew
nervous as bed-time approached, and the hour of
the vision drew near. It was from companionship

with this baby-phantom I had been roused on that

moonlight night when I heard the cry ; and it was on
the afternoon of the day following I was summoned
downstairs by a message that some one wanted me
in Mrs. Fairfax's room . On repairing thither, I

found a man waiting for me, having the appearance

of a gentleman's servant ; he was dressed in deep
mourning, and the hat he held in his hand was
surrounded with a crape band.
" I dare say you hardly remember me, Miss," he
said, rising as I entered ; " but my name is Leaven.
I lived coachman with Mrs. Reed when you were at

Gateshead, eight or nine years since, and I live there

still."

371
 JANE EYRE

" Oh, Robert ! how do you do ? I remember you

very well : you used to give me a ride sometimes on
Miss Georgiana's bay pony. And how is Bessie ?
You are married to Bessie ? "

" Yes, Miss ; my wife is very hearty, thank you ;

she brought me another little one about two months
since we have three now-and both mother and
child are thriving."

" And are the family well at the house, Robert ? "
" I'm sorry I can't give you better news of them,
Miss ; they are very badly at present -in great
trouble ."

" I hope no one is dead," I said, glancing at his

black dress . He too looked down at the crape
round his hat, and replied-

" Mr. John died, yesterday was a week, at his

chambers in London."
" Mr. John ?"
" Yes."
"And how does his mother bear it ? "

" Why, you see, Miss Eyre , it is not a common

mishap his life has been very wild : these last three
years he gave himself up to strange ways ; and his
death was shocking."
" I heard from Bessie he was not doing well. "
66
Doing well ! He could not do worse : he ruined
his health and his estate amongst the worst men
and the worst women . He got into debt and into

jail : his mother helped him out twice, but as soon

as he was free he returned to his old companions
372
 JANE EYRE

and habits. His head was not strong : the knaves

he lived amongst fooled him beyond anything I ever
heard. He came down to Gateshead about three

weeks ago and wanted Missis to give up all to him.

Missis refused : her means have long been much
reduced by his extravagance : so he went back again,
and the next news was that he was dead. How he

died, God knows !-they say he killed himself. ”

I was silent the tidings were frightful. Robert
Leaven resumed-
" Missis had been out of health herself for some

time she had got very stout, but was not strong
with it and the loss of money and fear of poverty
were quite breaking her down. The information
about Mr. John's death and the manner of it came

too suddenly it brought on a stroke. She was

three days without speaking ; but last Tuesday she
seemed rather better : she appeared as if she wanted
to say something, and kept making signs to my wife,
and mumbling. It was only yesterday morning,
however, that Bessie understood she was pronounc-
ing your name ; and at last she made out the words ,
'Bring Jane -fetch Jane Eyre : I want to speak to
her.' Bessie is not sure whether she is in her right
mind, or means anything by the words ; but she told
Miss Reed and Miss Georgiana, and advised them to
send for you. The young ladies put it off at first :
but their mother grew so restless, and said, ‘ Jane,
Jane,' so many times, that at last they consented. I
left Gateshead yesterday ; and if you can get ready,
373
 JANE EYRE

Miss, I should like to take you back with me early

to-morrow morning."
(6
' Yes, Robert, I shall be ready : it seems to me
that I ought to go."
" I think so too , Miss. Bessie said she was sure
you would not refuse but I suppose you will have
to ask leave before you can get off."
" Yes ; and I will do it now ; " and having directed
him to the servants' hall, and recommended him to
the care of John's wife, and the attentions of John
himself, I went in search of Mr. Rochester.

He was not in any of the lower rooms ; he was not

in the yard, the stables, or the grounds . I asked
Mrs. Fairfax if she had seen him ;-yes, she believed
he was playing billiards with Miss Ingram. To the
billiard-room I hastened : the click of balls and the
hum of voices resounded thence : Mr. Rochester,

Miss Ingram, the two Misses Eshton, and their

admirers , were all busied in the game. It required
some courage to disturb so interesting a party ; my
errand, however, was one I could not defer, so I
approached the master where he stood at Miss
Ingram's side . She turned as I drew near, and

looked at me haughtily : her eyes seemed to demand,

" What can the creeping creature want now ? " and
when I said, in a low voice, " Mr. Rochester," she
made a movement as if tempted to order me away.
I remember her appearance at the moment,-it was
very graceful and very strking : she wore a morning
robe of sky-blue crape ; a gauzy azure scarf was
374
 JANE EYRE

twisted in her hair. She had been all animation

with the game, and irritated pride did not lower
the expression of her haughty lineaments.
" Does that person want you ? " she inquired of
Mr. Rochester ; and Mr. Rochester turned to see who
the " person " was. He made a curious grimace,-
one of his strange and equivocal demonstrations-
threw down his cue, and followed me from the room.
"Well, Jane ? " he said, as he rested his back
against the schoolroom door, which he had shut.
" If you please, sir, I want leave of absence for a
week or two. "
"What to do ?-Where to go ? "

" To see a sick lady who has sent for me."

" What sick lady ?-Where does she live ? "
At Gateshead, in --shire. "
" -shire ? That is a hundred miles off! Who

may she be that sends for people to see her that

distance ? "
" Her name is Reed, sir, Mrs. Reed. "
" Reed of Gateshead ? There was a Reed of
Gateshead, a magistrate."
" It is his widow, sir. "
" And what have you to do with her ? How do
you know her ? ”

“ Mr. Reed was my uncle,-my mother's brother."

"The deuce he was ! You never told me that
"9
before you always said you had no relations.'
" None that would own me, sir. Mr. Reed is
dead, and his wife cast me off. ”
375
 JANE EYRE

" Why ?"

" Because I was poor and burdensome, and she
disliked me."

" But Reed left children ?-you must have cousins ?

Sir George Lynn was talking of a Reed of Gateshead,
yesterday- who, he said, was one of the veriest
rascals on town ; and Ingram was mentioning a
Georgiana Reed of the same place, who was much
admired for her beauty, a season or two ago, in
London ."

" John Reed is dead, too , sir : he ruined himself,

and half-ruined his family, and is supposed to have
committed suicide . The news so shocked his

mother that it brought on an apoplectic attack. "

" And what good can you do her ? Nonsense,
Jane ! I would never think of running a hundred
miles to see an old lady who will, perhaps, be dead
before you reach her : besides, you say she cast
you off? "

" Yes, sir, but that is long ago ; and when her
circumstances were very different : I could not be
easy to neglect her wishes now."
" How long will you stay ?"
" As short a time as possible, sir."
""
" Promise me only to stay a week—'
" I had better not pass my word ; I might be
obliged to break it.”
" At all events you will come back : you will not
be induced under any pretext to take up a
permanent residence with her ! "
376
 JANE EYRE

" Oh no ! I shall certainly return if all be well."

" And who goes with you ? You don't travel a
hundred miles alone."
66
No, sir ; she has sent her coachman."
"A person to be trusted ? "

" Yes, sir ; he has lived ten years in the family. "
Mr. Rochester meditated. "When do you wish

to go ? "
" Early to-morrow morning, sir."
"Well, you must have some money ; you can't
travel without money, and I dare say you have not
much I have given you no salary yet. How
much have you in the world, Jane ? " he asked,
smiling.
I drew out my purse-a meagre thing it was.
" Five shillings, sir." He took the purse, poured
the hoard into his palm, and chuckled over it as if
its scantiness pleased him. Soon he produced his
66
pocket-book. Here," said he, offering me a note :
it was fifty pounds, and he owed me but fifteen. I
told him I had no change.

" I don't want change : you know that. Take

your wages. "
I declined accepting more than was my due. He
scowled at first ; then, as if recollecting something,
he said :-

" Right, right ! Better not give you all now : you
would, perhaps, stay away three months if you had
fifty pounds . There are ten : is it not plenty ?"
" Yes, sir ; but now you owe me five."
377
 JANE EYRE

"Come back for it then : I am your banker for

forty pounds ."
" Mr. Rochester, I may as well mention another
matter of business to you while I have the oppor-
tunity."
" Matter of business ? I'm curious to hear it."
•
" You have as good as informed me, sir, that you
are going shortly to be married ? "
" Yes : what then ? "

" In that case, sir, Adèle ought to go to school : I

am sure you will perceive the necessity of it."
"To get her out of my bride's way ; who might
otherwise walk over her rather too emphatically.
There's sense in the suggestion ; not a doubt of it.
Adèle, as you say, must go to school ; and you, of
course, must march straight to-the devil ? "
"I hope not, sir ; but I must seek another
situation somewhere."

" In course ! " he exclaimed , with a twang of voice

and a distortion of features equally fantastic and
ludicrous. He looked at me some minutes.
" And old Madam Reed, or the Misses , her

daughters, will be solicited by you to seek a place, I

?"
suppose ?
No, sir ; I am not on such terms with my
relatives as would justify me in asking favours of
them-but I shall advertise."

" You shall walk up the Pyramids of Egypt ! " he

growled. " At your peril you advertise ! I wish I
had only offered you a sovereign instead of ten
378
 JANE EYRE

pounds. Give me back nine pounds, Jane ; I've a

use for it."
" And so have I, sir," I returned, putting my
hands and my purse behind me. " I could not

spare the money on any account. "

" Little niggard ! " said he, " refusing me a

pecuniary request ! Give me five pounds, Jane."

" Not five shillings , sir ; nor five pence ."
" Just let me look at the cash ."
66
No, sir ; you are not to be trusted."
" Ja ne ! "
" Sir ? "
" Promise me one thing. "

" I'll promise you anything, sir, that I think I am

likely to perform."
"Not to advertise and to trust this quest of a
situation to me. I'll find you one in time."
" I shall be glad so to do, sir, if you , in your turn,
will promise that I and Adèle shall be both safe out
of the house before your bride enters it."
66
Very well ! very well ! I'll pledge my word on it.
You go to-morrow, then ? "
66
Yes, sir, early."
" Shall you come down to the drawing-room after
dinner ? "
66
No, sir, I must prepare for the journey."
" Then you and I must bid good-bye for a little
while ? "
""
I suppose so, sir.”
" And how do people perform that ceremony of
379
 JANE EYRE

parting, Jane ? Teach me ; I am not quite up to

it."

"They say Farewell ; or any other form they

prefer."
"9
"Then say it.'
66
Farewell, Mr. Rochester, for the present. "
" What must I say ? "

" The same, if you like , sir. "

Farewell , Miss Eyre, for the present : is that
all ? "
" Yes ."

" It seems stingy, to my notions, and dry, and

unfriendly. I should like something else : a little
addition to the rite. If one shook hands, for
instance ; but no, -that would not content me
either. So you'll do no more than say farewell,
Jane ?"

" It is enough, sir : as much goodwill may be

conveyed in one hearty word as in many."
Very likely ; but it is blank and cool- Fare-
well.'

" How long is he going to stand with his back

against that door ? " I asked myself ; " I want to
commence my packing." The dinner-bell rang, and
suddenly away he bolted, without another syllable :
I saw him no more during the day, and was off
before he had risen in the morning.
I reached the lodge at Gateshead about five
o'clock in the afternoon of the first of May : I
stepped in there before going up to the Hall. It

380
 JANE EYRE

was very clean and neat : the ornamental windows

were hung with little white curtains ; the floor was
spotless ; the grate and fire- irons were burnished
bright, and the fire burned clear. Bessie sat on the
hearth, nursing her last -born, and Robert and his
sister played quietly in a corner.
" Bless you !-- I knew you would come ! " ex-
claimed Mrs. Leaven, as I entered .
"Yes , Bessie," said I, after I had kissed her ;
" and I trust I am not too late . How is Mrs. Reed ?
Alive still, I hope."
"Yes, she is alive ; and more sensible and col-
lectedthan she was. The doctor says she may

linger a week or two yet ; but he hardly thinks she

""
will finally recover . "
" Has she mentioned me lately ? "

" She was talking of you only this morning, and

wishing you would come : but she is sleeping now ;
or was ten minutes ago, when I was up at the house.
She generally lies in a kind of lethargy all the after-
Will you
noon, and wakes up about six or seven.
rest yourself here an hour, Miss, and then I will go
up with you ? "
Robert here entered, and Bessie laid her sleeping
child in the cradle and went to welcome him : after-

wards she insisted on my taking off my bonnet and

having some tea ; for she said I looked pale and
tired. I was glad to accept her hospitality ; and I
submitted to be relieved of my travelling garb just as
passively as I used to let her undress me when a child.
381
 JANE EYRE

Old times crowded fast back on me as I watched

her bustling about setting out the tea-tray with

her best china, cutting bread and butter, toasting a
tea-cake, and, between whiles, giving little Robert
or Jane an occasional tap or push, just as she used
to give me in former days. Bessie had retained her
quick temper as well as her light foot and good
looks.

Tea ready, I was going to approach the table ; but

she desired me to sit still, quite in her old peremp-
tory tones. I must be served at the fireside , she
said ; and she placed before me a little round stand
with my cup and a plate of toast, absolutely as she
used to accommodate me with some privately pur-

loined dainty on a nursery chair : and I smiled and

obeyed her as in bygone days.
She wanted to know if I was happy at Thornfield
Hall, and what sort of a person the mistress was ;
and when I told her there was only a master,
whether he was a nice gentleman, and if I liked him.
I told her he was rather an ugly man, but quite a
gentleman ; and that he treated me kindly, and I
was content. Then I went on to describe to her the
gay company that had lately been staying at the
house ; and to these details Bessie listened with
interest : they were precisely of the kind she
relished.
In such conversation an hour was soon gone :

Bessie restored to me my bonnet, etc. , and , accom-

panied by her, I quitted the lodge for the Hall. It
382
 JANE EYRE

was also accompanied by her that I had, nearly nine

years ago, walked down the path I was now ascend-
ing. On a dark, misty, raw morning in January, I
had left a hostile roof, with a desperate and em-
bittered heart-a sense of outlawry and almost of
reprobation-to seek the chilly harbourage of
Lowood : that bourne so far away and unexplored.
The same hostile roof now again rose before me :
my prospects were doubtful yet ; and I had yet an
aching heart. I still felt as a wanderer on the face
of the earth ; but I experienced firmer trust in
myself and my own powers, and less withering dread
of oppression. The gaping wound of my wrongs,
too, was now quite healed ; and the flame of resent-
ment extinguished .
" You shall go into the breakfast-room first, " said
Bessie, as she preceded me through the hall ; " the
young ladies will be there."
In another moment I was within that apartment.

There was every article of furniture looking just as

it did on the morning I was first introduced to Mr.
Brocklehurst : the very rug he had stood upon still
covered the hearth. Glancing at the bookcases , I
thought I could distinguish the two volumes of

Bewick's British Birds occupying their old place on

the third shelf, and Gulliver's Travels and the
Arabian Nights ranged just above. The inanimate
objects were not changed : but the living things had
altered past recognition .
Two young ladies appeared before me ; one very
383
 JANE EYRE

tall, almost as tall as Miss Ingram, -very thin too,

with a sallow face and severe mien . There was

something ascetic in her look, which was augmented

by the extreme plainness of a straight-skirted , black,
stuff dress , a starched linen collar, hair combed
away from the temples, and the nun-like ornament
of a string of ebony beads and a crucifix. This I
felt sure was Eliza, though I could trace little
resemblance to her former self in that elongated and
colourless visage.

The other was as certainly Georgiana : but not

like the Georgiana I remembered the slim and
fairylike girl of eleven. This was a full-blown, very
plump damsel, fair as wax-work ; with handsome
and regular features, languishing blue eyes, and
ringleted yellow hair. The hue of her dress was

black too ; but its fashion was so different from her

sister's so much more flowing and becoming- it
looked as stylish as the other's looked puritanical.
In each of the sisters there was one trait of the

mother and only one : the thin and pallid elder

daughter had her parent's Cairngorm eye : the

blooming and luxuriant younger girl had her contour

of jaw and chin, —perhaps a little softened, but still
imparting an indescribable hardness to the counte-
nance, otherwise so voluptuous and buxom.
Both ladies, as I advanced , rose to welcome me,
and both addressed me by the name of " Miss Eyre. "
Eliza's greeting was delivered in a short, abrupt
voice, without a smile ; and then she sat down again,
384
 JANE EYRE

fixed her eyes on the fire, and seemed to forget me.

Georgiana added to her " How d'ye do ? " several
commonplaces about my journey, the weather, and
so on, uttered in rather a drawling tone and
accompanied by sundry side-glances that measured
me from head to foot-now traversing the folds of
my drab merino pelisse, and now lingering on the
plain trimming of my cottage bonnet. Young ladies
have a remarkable way of letting you know that they
think you a " quiz," without actually saying the
words. A certain superciliousness of look, coolness
of manner, nonchalance of tone, express fully their
sentiments on the point, without committing them
by any positive rudeness in word or deed.

A sneer, however, whether covert or open, had

now no longer that power over me it once possessed ;
as I sat between my cousins, I was surprised to find
how easy I felt under the total neglect of the one
and the semi-sarcastic attentions of the other-

Eliza did not mortify, nor Georgiana ruffle me. The

fact was, I had other things to think about ; within

the last few months feelings had been stirred in me
so much more potent than any they could raise—
pains and pleasures so much more acute and
exquisite had been excited, than any it was in their
power to inflict or bestow- that their airs gave me
no concern either for good or bad.
" How is Mrs. Reed ? " I asked soon , looking calmly
at Georgiana ; who thought fit to bridle at the direct
address, as if it were an unexpected liberty.
385 с с
 JANE EYRE

" Mrs. Reed ? Ah ! mamma, you mean ; she is

extremely poorly. I doubt if you can see her to-
night."
" If," said I, " you would just step upstairs and
tell her I am come, I should be much obliged to
you."
Georgiana almost started, and she opened her
blue eyes wild and wide. " I know she had a
particular wish to see me," I added, " and I would
not defer attending to her desire longer than is
""
absolutely necessary.
" Mamma dislikes being disturbed in an evening,"
remarked Eliza. I soon rose, quietly took off my
bonnet and gloves, uninvited, and said I would just
step out to Bessie- who was, I dared say, in the
kitchen-and ask her to ascertain whether Mrs.

Reed was disposed to receive me or not to- night. I

went, and having found Bessie and despatched her
on my errand, I proceeded to take further measures.
It had heretofore been my habit always to shrink
from arrogance : received as I had been to-day, I
should, a year ago, have resolved to quit Gateshead
the very next morning ; now, it was disclosed to me
all at once, that that would be a foolish plan. I had
taken a journey of a hundred miles to see my aunt,
and I must stay with her till she was better-or
dead as to her daughters' pride or folly, I must
put it on one side ; make myself independent of it.
So I addressed the housekeeper ; asked her to show
me a room, told her I should probably be a visitor
386
 JANE EYRE

here for a week or two, had my trunk conveyed to

my chamber, and followed it thither myself : I met
Bessie on the landing.
" Missis is awake," she said ; " I have told her you
are here : come and let us see if she will know you."
I did not need to be guided to the well-known
room to which I had so often been summoned for

chastisement or reprimand in former days. I

hastened before Bessie, I softly opened the door : a
shaded light stood on the table, for it was now
getting dark. There was the great four- post bed
with amber hangings as of old ; there the toilet-table,
the arm -chair, and the foot-stool : at which I had a
hundred times been sentenced to kneel to ask
pardon for offences, by me, uncommitted. I looked
into a certain corner near, half- expecting to see the
slim outline of a once-dreaded switch, which used to
lurk there, waiting to leap out imp-like and lace my
quivering palm or shrinking neck. I approached
the bed I opened the curtains and leant over the
high- piled pillows.
Well did I remember Mrs. Reed's face, and I
eagerly sought the familiar image. It is a happy
thing that time quells the longings of vengeance,
and hushes the promptings of rage and aversion :
I had left this woman in bitterness and hate, and I
came back to her now with no other emotion than a

sort of ruth for her great sufferings, and a strong

yearning to forget and forgive all injuries-to be
reconciled and clasp hands in amity.
387
 JANE EYRE

The well-known face was there : stern, relentless

as ever there was that peculiar eye which nothing
could melt ; and the somewhat raised, imperious,
despotic eyebrow. How often had it lowered on me
menace and hate ! and how the recollection of child-
hood's terrors and sorrows revived as I traced its

harsh line now ! And yet I stooped down and kissed

her : she looked at me.

" Is this Jane Eyre ? " she said.

Yes, Aunt Reed. How are you, dear Aunt ? "
I had once vowed that I would never call her aunt
again I thought it no sin to forget and break that
Vow now. My fingers had fastened on her hand
which lay outside the sheet : had she pressed mine
kindly I should at that moment have experienced
true pleasure. But unimpressionable natures are
not so soon softened, nor are natural antipathies so
readily eradicated : Mrs. Reed took her hand away,
and turning her face rather from me, she remarked
that the night was warm. Again she regarded me,
so icily, I felt at once that her opinion of me-her
feeling towards me-was unchanged and unchange-
able. I knew by her stony eye-opaque to tender-
ness , indissoluble to tears -that she was resolved to
consider me bad to the last ; because to believe me
good, would give her no generous pleasure : only a
sense of mortification .
I felt pain, and then I felt ire ; and then I felt a
determination to subdue her-to be her mistress in

spite both of her nature and her will . My tears had

388
 JANE EYRE

risen, just as in childhood : I ordered them back to

their source . I brought a chair to the bed-head : I

sat down and leaned over the pillow.

"You sent for me," I said, " and I am here ; and
it is my intention to stay till I see how you get on.
" Oh, of course ! You have seen my daughters ? "
" Yes."

"Well, you may tell them I wish you to stay till

I can talk some things over with you I have on my
mind : to-night it is too late, and I have a difficulty
in recalling them. But there was something I
wished to say- let me see-"
The wandering look and changed utterance told
what wreck had taken place in her once vigorous
frame. Turning restlessly, she drew the bed- clothes
round her my elbow, resting on a corner of the
quilt, fixed it down : she was at once irritated.
"Sit up ! " said she ; " don't annoy me with hold-
ing the clothes fast.-Are you Jane Eyre ? "
" I am Jane Eyre."-
" I have had more trouble with that child than any

one would believe. Such a burden to be left on my

hands and so much annoyance as she caused me,
daily and hourly, with her incomprehensible disposi-
tion, and her sudden starts of temper, and her
continual, unnatural watchings of one's movements !
I declare she talked to me once like something mad,
or like a fiend— no child ever spoke or looked as she
did ; I was glad to get her away from the house.
What did they do with her at Lowood ? The fever
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 JANE EYRE

broke out there, and many of the pupils died. She ,

however, did not die : but I said she did-I wish she
had died !"

" A strange wish, Mrs. Reed : why do you hate

her so ?"

" I had a dislike to her mother always : for she

was my husband's only sister, and a great favourite
with him he opposed the family's disowning her
when she made her low marriage ; and when news

came of her death, he wept like a simpleton. He

would send for the baby ; though I entreated him
rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its mainte-
nance . I hated it the first time I set my eyes on

it a sickly, whining, pining thing ! It would wail

in its cradle all night long-not screaming heartily
like any other child, but whimpering and moaning.
Reed pitied it ; and he used to nurse it and notice
it as if it had been his own more, indeed, than he
ever noticed his own at that age. He would try to
make my children friendly to the little beggar ; the
darlings could not bear it, and he was angry with
them when they showed their dislike. In his last

illness , he had it brought continually to his bedside ;

and but an hour before he died, he bound me by
vow to keep the creature. I would as soon have
been charged with a pauper brat out of a work-
house but he was weak, naturally weak. John

does not at all resemble his father, and I am glad of

it : John is like me and like my brothers he is
quite a Gibson . Oh, I wish he would cease tor-
390
 JANE EYRE

menting me with letters for money ! I have no more

money to give him : we are getting poor. I must
send away half the servants and shut up part of the
house, or let it off. I can never submit to do that

-yet how are we to get on ? Two-thirds of my

income goes in paying the interest of mortgages.
John gambles dreadfully, and always loses- -poor
boy ! He is beset by sharpers : John is sunk and
degraded- his look is frightful-I feel ashamed for
him when I see him."
She was getting much excited . " I think I had
better leave her now," said I to Bessie, who stood on
the other side of the bed.
"Perhaps you had, Miss : but she often talks in

this way towards night- in the morning she is

calmer."
I rose. " Stop ! " exclaimed Mrs. Reed . " There
is another thing I wished to say. He threatens me
-he continually threatens me with his own death,
or mine and I dream sometimes that I see him laid

out with a great wound in his throat, or with a

swollen and blackened face . I am come to a
strange pass : I have heavy troubles. What is to be
done ? How is the money to be had ?"
Bessie now endeavoured to persuade her to take
a sedative draught : she succeeded with difficulty.
Soon after, Mrs. Reed grew more composed, and sank
into a dozing state. I then left her.
More than ten days elapsed before I had again
any conversation with her. She continued either
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 JANE EYRE

delirious or lethargic ; and the doctor forbade every-

thing which could painfully excite her. Meantime,
I got on as well as I could with Georgiana and Eliza.
They were very cold, indeed, at first. Eliza would

sit half the day sewing, reading, or writing, and

scarcely utter a word either to me or her sister.
Georgiana would chatter nonsense to her canary-
bird by the hour, and take no notice of me. But I

was determined not to seem at a loss for occupation

or amusement : I had brought my drawing materials
with me, and they served me for both.
Provided with a case of pencils, and some sheets
of paper, I used to take a seat apart from them,

near the window, and busy myself in sketching fancy

vignettes, representing any scene that happened
momentarily to shape itself in the ever-shifting
kaleidoscope of imagination : a glimpse of sea
between two rocks ; the rising moon, and a ship
crossing its disc ; a group of reeds and water-flags ,
and a naiad's head, crowned with lotus- flowers,
rising out of them ; an elf sitting in a hedge-
sparrow's nest, under a wreath of hawthorn-bloom.

One morning I fell to sketching a face : what sort

of a face it was to be, I did not care or know. I
took a soft black pencil, gave it a broad point, and
worked away. Soon I had traced on the paper a
broad and prominent forehead, and a square lower
outline of visage ; that contour gave me pleasure :
my fingers proceeded actively to fill it with features.
Strongly-marked horizontal eyebrows must be traced
392
 JANE EYRE

under that brow ; then followed, naturally, a well-

defined nose, with a straight ridge and full nostrils ;
then a flexible-looking mouth, by no means narrow ;
then a firm chin, with a decided cleft down the
middle of it of course, some black whiskers were
wanted, and some jetty hair, tufted on the temples,
and waved above the forehead. Now for the eyes :
I had left them to the last, because they required
the most careful working. I drew them large ; I
shaped them well : the eyelashes I traced long and
sombre ; the irids lustrous and large. " Good ! but

not quite the thing," I thought, as I surveyed the

effect. " They want more force and spirit ; " and I
wrought the shades blacker, that the lights might
flash more brilliantly-a happy touch or two secured
success. There, I had a friend's face under my
gaze ; and what did it signify that those young
ladies turned their backs on me ? I looked at it ; I

smiled at the speaking likeness : I was absorbed and

content.

" Is that a portrait of some one you know ? "

asked Eliza, who had approached me unnoticed . I
responded that it was merely a fancy head, and
hurried it beneath the other sheets. Of course, I

lied ; it was, in fact, a very faithful representation of

Mr. Rochester. But what was that to her, or to any
one but myself? Georgiana also advanced to look.
The other drawings pleased her much, but she
called that " an ugly man." They both seemed
surprised at my skill. I offered to sketch their
393
 JANE EYRE

portraits ; and each in turn , sat for a pencil outline.

Then Georgiana produced her album. I promised
to contribute a water- colour drawing : this put her
at once into good humour. She proposed a walk in
the grounds .
Before we had been out two hours ,
we were deep in a confidential conversation : she
had favoured me with a description of the brilliant
winter she had spent in London two seasons ago - of
the admiration she had there excited- the attention
she had received ; and I even got hints of the titled
conquest she had made. In the course of the after-
noon and evening these hints were enlarged on :
various soft conversations were reported, and senti-
mental scenes represented : and, in short, a volume
of a novel of fashionable life was that day improvised
by her for my benefit. The communications were
renewed from day to day : they always ran on the
same theme-herself, her loves, and woes. It was
strange she never once adverted either to her
mother's illness, or her brother's death, or the
present gloomy state of the family prospects. Her
mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of
past gaiety, and aspirations after dissipations to
come. She passed about five minutes each day in
her mother's sick-room and no more.

Eliza still spoke little ; she had evidently no time

to talk. I never saw a busier person than she
seemed to be ; yet it was difficult to say what she
did or rather, to discover any result of her
diligence. She had an alarum to call her up early.
394
 JANE EYRE

I know not how she occupied herself before break-

fast, but after that meal she divided her time into
regular portions ; and each hour had its allotted
task. Three times a day she studied a little book,
which I found, on inspection , was a Common Prayer
Book. I asked her once what was the great
attraction of that volume, and she said, " the

Rubric." Three hours she gave to stitching, with

gold thread, the border of a square crimson cloth,
almost large enough for a carpet. In answer to my
inquiries after the use of this article, she informed
me it was a covering for the altar of a new church
lately erected near Gateshead. Two hours she
devoted to her diary ; two to working by herself in
the kitchen garden ; and one to the regulation of her
accounts. She seemed to want no company, no
conversation. I believe she was happy in her way :
this routine sufficed to her ; and nothing annoyed

her so much as the occurrence of any incident

which forced her to vary its clock-work regularity .
She told me one evening, when more disposed to
be communicative than usual, that John's conduct,
and the threatened ruin of the family, had been a
source of profound affliction to her : but she had
now, she said, settled her mind, and formed her
resolution. Her own fortune she had taken care to
secure ; and when her mother died -and it was

wholly improbable, she tranquilly remarked, that

she should either recover or linger long, she would
execute a long- cherished project : seek a retirement
395
 JANE EYRE

where punctual habits would be permanently secured

from disturbance, and place safe barriers between
herself and a frivolous world . I asked if Georgiana
would accompany her.
"Of course not. Georgiana and she had nothing
in common : they never had had. She would not be
burdened with her society for any consideration.
Georgiana should take her own course ; and she,
Eliza, would take hers."
Georgiana, when not unburdening her heart to
me, spent most of her time in lying on the sofa,
fretting about the dulness of the house, and wishing
over and over again that her Aunt Gibson would
send her an invitation up to town.
" It would be so much better," she said, " if she
could only get out of the way for a month or two,
till all was over. " I did not ask what she meant by
" all being over," but I suppose she referred to the
expected decease of her mother and the gloomy
sequel of funeral rites. Eliza generally took no
more notice of her sister's indolence and complaints
than if no such murmuring, lounging object had
been before her. One day, however, as she put

away her account-book and unfolded her embroidery,

she suddenly took her up thus,-
"6
Georgiana, a more vain and absurd animal than
you was certainly never allowed to cumber the earth.
You had no right to be born ; for you make no use
of life. Instead of living for, in, and with yourself,
as a reasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten
396
 JANE EYRE

your feebleness on some other person's strength : if

no one can be found willing to burden her or
himself with such a fat, weak, puffy, useless thing,
you cry out that you are ill-treated, neglected,
miserable. Then, too , existence for you must be a
scene of continual change and excitement, or else
the world is a dungeon . You must be admired , you
must be courted, you must be flattered-you must
have music, dancing, and society-or you languish,
you die away. Have you no sense to devise a system
which will make you independent of all efforts , and
all wills, but your own ? Take one day : share it
into sections to each section apportion its task :
leave no stray unemployed quarters of an hour, ten
minutes, five minutes-include all do each piece of
business in its turn with method, with rigid regularity.
The day will close almost before you are aware it
has begun ; and you are indebted to no one for
helping you to get rid of one vacant moment : you
have had to seek no one's company, conversation,
sympathy, forbearance : you have lived, in short, as
an independent being ought to do. Take this
advice : the first and last I shall offer you ; then you

will not want me, or any one else, happen what may.
Neglect it go on as heretofore-craving, whining,
and idling and suffer the results of your idiocy,
however bad and insufferable they may be. I tell
you this plainly ; and listen : for though I shall no
more repeat what I am now about to say, I shall
steadily act on it. After my mother's death I wash
397
 JANE EYRE

my hands of you ; from the day her coffin is carried

to the vault in Gateshead Church, you and I will be
as separate as if we had never known each other.
You need not think that because we chanced to be

born of the same parents, I shall suffer you to fasten

me down by even the feeblest claim : I can tell you
this if the whole human race, ourselves excepted ,
were swept away, and we two stood alone on the
earth, I would leave you in the old world, and betake
myself to the new."
She closed her lips.
" You might have spared yourself the trouble
of delivering that tirade," answered Georgiana.
66
Everybody knows you are the most selfish, heart-
less creature in existence ; and I know your spiteful
hatred towards me : I have had a specimen of it
before in the trick you played me about Lord Edwin
Vere you could not bear me to be raised above
you, to have a title, to be received into circles
where you dare not show your face, and so you
acted the spy and informer, and ruined my pros-
pects for ever." Georgiana took out her hand-
kerchief and blew her nose for an hour afterwards ;
Eliza sat cold, impassable and assiduously in-
dustrious.

True, generous feeling is made small account of

by some ; but here were two natures rendered, the
one intolerably acrid, the other despicably savour-
less, for the want of it. Feeling without judgment
is a washy draught indeed ; but judgment untem-
398
 JANE EYRE

pered by feeling is too bitter and husky a morsel for

human deglutition.
It was a wet and windy afternoon ; Georgiana had
fallen asleep on the sofa over the perusal of a novel ;
Eliza was gone to attend a saint's-day service at the
new church- for in matters of religion she was a
rigid formalist : no weather ever prevented the
punctual discharge of what she considered her
devotional duties ; fair or foul, she went to church
thrice every Sunday, and as often on week-days as
there were prayers .

I bethought myself to go upstairs and see how the

dying woman sped, who lay there almost unheeded ;
the very servants paid her but a remittent attention :

the hired nurse, being little looked after, would slip

out of the room whenever she could. Bessie was

faithful ; but she had her own family to mind, and

could only come occasionally to the Hall. I found
the sick-room unwatched , as I had expected : no
nurse was there ; the patient lay still, and seemingly
lethargic ; her livid face sunk in the pillows : the
fire was dying in the grate. I renewed the fuel ,
re-arranged the bed-clothes, gazed awhile on her
who could not now gaze on me, and then I moved
away to the window.

The rain beat strongly against the panes, the wind

blew tempestuously : " One lies there," I thought,
" who will soon be beyond the war of earthly elements.
Whither will that spirit- now struggling to quit its
material tenement-flit when at length released ? "
399
 JANE EYRE

In pondering the great mystery I thought of

Helen Burns, recalled her dying words-her faith—
her doctrine of the equality of disembodied souls. I
was still listening in thought to her well-remembered
tones-still picturing her pale and spiritual aspect,
her wasted face and sublime gaze, as she lay on her
placid deathbed, and whispered her longing to be
restored to her divine Father's bosom-when a
feeble voice murmured from the couch behind :
"Who is that ? "
I knew Mrs. Reed had not spoken for days : was
she reviving ? I went up to her.
" It is I, Aunt Reed."
" Who I- ? " was her answer. " Who are you ? "
looking at me with surprise and a sort of alarm, but
still not wildly. "You are quite a stranger to me-
where is Bessie ? "
99
" She is at the lodge, Aunt.'
"" me Aunt ?
Aunt," she repeated . "Who calls

You are not one of the Gibsons ; and yet I know

you-that face, and the eyes, and forehead are quite
familiar to me : you are like—why, you are like Jane
Eyre ! "
I said nothing : I was afraid of occasioning some
shock by declaring my identity.
" Yet," said she, " I am afraid it is a mistake : my
thoughts deceive me. I wished to see Jane Eyre,
and I fancy a likeness where none exists : besides, in
eight years she must be so changed." I now gently
assured her that I was the person she supposed and
400
 JANE EYRE

desired me to be : and seeing that I was understood,

and that her senses were quite collected , I explained
how Bessie had sent her husband to fetch me from
Thornfield .

" I am very ill , I know," she said ere long. "I

was trying to turn myself a few minutes since, and
find I cannot move a limb. It is as well I should
ease my mind before I die : what we think little of
in health, burdens us at such an hour as the present
is to me. Is the nurse here ? or is there no one in
the room but you ? "
I assured her we were alone.
66
Well, I have twice done you a wrong which I
regret now. One was in breaking the promise which
I gave my husband to bring you up as my own
child ; the other-" she stopped. " After all, it is
of no great importance, perhaps," she murmured
to herself : " and then I may get better ; and to
humble myself so to her is painful."
She made an effort to alter her position, but
failed her face changed ; she seemed to experience
some inward sensation-the precursor, perhaps , of
the last pang.
66
Well, I must get it over. Eternity is before
me : I had better tell her. Go to my dressing-
case, open it, and take out a letter you will see
there ."
I obeyed her directions . " Read the letter," she
said.
It was short, and thus conceived :-
401 D d
 JANE EYRE

" MADAM,—Will you have the goodness to send me

the address of my niece, Jane Eyre, and to tell me
how she is ; it is my intention to write shortly and
desire her to come to me at Madeira. Providence
has blessed my endeavours to secure a competency ;
and as I am unmarried and childless, I wish to adopt
her during my life, and bequeath her at my death
whatever I have to leave .-I am, Madam, etc , etc.
" JOHN EYRE, Madeira.”

It was dated three years back.

""
Why did I never hear of this ? " I asked .
" Because I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly
ever to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity. I
could not forget your conduct to me, Jane -the fury
with which you once turned on me ; the tone in
which you declared you abhorred me the worst of
anybody in the world ; the unchildlike look and
voice with which you affirmed that the very thought
of me made you sick, and asserted that I had treated
you with miserable cruelty. I could not forget my
own sensations when you thus started up and
poured out the venom of your mind : I felt fear, as
if an animal that I had struck or pushed had looked
up at me with human eyes and cursed me in a
man's voice. Bring me some water ! Oh, make
haste ! "

" Dear Mrs. Reed," said I, as I offered her the

draught she required, " think no more of all this, let
it pass away from your mind. Forgive me for my
402
 JANE EYRE

passionate language ; I was a child then ; eight, nine

years have passed since that day."
She heeded nothing of what I said ; but when she
had tasted the water and drawn breath, she went on
thus ,-
" I tell you I could not forget it ; and I took my

revenge : for you to be adopted by your uncle, and

placed in a state of ease and comfort, was what I
could not endure . I wrote to him ; I said I was
sorry for his disappointment, but Jane Eyre was
dead she had died of typhus fever at Lowood.
Now act as you please write and contradict my
assertion-expose my falsehood as soon as you like.
You were born, I think, to be my torment : my last
hour is racked by the recollection of a deed , which,
but for you, I should never have been tempted to
commit."

" If you could but be persuaded to think no more

of it, Aunt, and to regard me with kindness and
forgiveness-"
" You have a very bad disposition," said she, " and
one to this day I feel it impossible to understand :
how for nine years you could be patient and quiescent
under any treatment, and in the tenth break out
all fire and violence , I can never comprehend."

"My disposition is not so bad as you think : I am

passionate, but not vindictive. Many a time, as a
little child, I should have been glad to love you if
you would have let me ; and I long earnestly to be
[
reconciled to you now : kiss me, Aunt."
403
 JANE EYRE

I approached my cheek to her lips : she would

not touch it. She said I oppressed her by leaning
over the bed ; and again demanded water. As I

laid her down - for I raised and supported her on

my arm while she drank- I covered her ice-cold and
clammy hand with mine : the feeble fingers shrank
from my touch- the glazing eyes shunned my gaze.
" Love me, then, or hate me, as you will," I said at
last, " you have my full and free forgiveness : ask
now for God's : and be at peace. "
Poor, suffering woman ! it was too late for her to
make now the effort to change her habitual frame of
mind living, she had ever hated me-dying, she
must hate me still.
The nurse now entered, and Bessie followed . I
yet lingered half an hour longer, hoping to see some
sign of amity ; but she gave none. She was fast
relapsing into stupor ; nor did her mind again rally ;
at twelve o'clock that night she died. I was not
present to close her eyes ; nor were either of her
daughters. They came to tell us the next morning
that all was over. She was by that time laid out .
Eliza and I went to look at her : Georgiana, who
had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared not
go. There was stretched Sarah Reed's once robust
and active frame, rigid and still : her eye of flint was
covered with its cold lid ; her brow and strong traits
wore yet the impress of her inexorable soul. A
strange and solemn object was that corpse to me. I
gazed on it with gloom and pain : nothing soft,
404
 JANE EYRE

nothing sweet, nothing pitying, or hopeful, or

subduing, did it inspire ; only a grating anguish for
her woes- not my loss - and a sombre, tearless
dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a form.
Eliza surveyed her parent calmly. After a silence
of some minutes she observed, —
"With her constitution she should have lived to a

good old age : her life was shortened by trouble."

And then a spasm constricted her mouth for an
instant as it passed away she turned and left the
room, and so did I. Neither of us had dropped a
tear.

END OF VOL I.

405
 LONDON
GILBERT AND RIVINGTON, LD.,
ST JOHN'S House, Clerkenwell, E.c.
 Widener Library

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