Klasikal: Journal of Education, Language Teaching and Science

Volume 5 Issue 1 April 2023

p-ISSN: 2656-9914 e-ISSN: 2656-8772

FORGIVENESS IN ADOLESCENTS POST-DIVORCE

PARENTS IN THE MAKASSAR BUGIS TRIBE
Muh. Fitrah Ramadhan Umar1*, Sri Hayati2, Titin Florentina3
1,2,3
Fakultas Psikologi, Universitas Bosowa, Jl. Urip Sumoharjo No.Km.4, Sinrijala, Kec.
Panakkukang, Kota Makassar, Sulawesi Selatan 90232. Indonesia

ABSTRACT
This study aims to find out the description of forgiveness in post-divorce
adolescents in the Bugis-Makassar tribe. The research methodology used
is quantitative. The subjects of this study were adolescents aged 12-18
years, ethnic Bugis or Makassar, and whose parents were divorced.
There were 179 subjects in this study consisting of 66 men and 113
women. The measurement tool used in this study is the Transgression-
Related Interpersonal Motivations Inventory (TRIM-18) to measure
forgiveness with a reliability of 0.738. This study uses descriptive
analysis techniques with the help of SPSS 25 for Windows software. The
results of this study indicate that there are 147 (82.1%) students who
have high forgiveness, as many as 31 (17.3%) students who have
moderate forgiveness and as many as 1 (0.6%) subject with low
forgiveness. This study concludes that the forgiveness of post-divorce
adolescents in the Bugis-Makassar tribe is at a high level and most
adolescents who have not been able to forgive their parents because they
want to take revenge on their parents.

Keywords: Divorce, Forgiveness, Bugis

INTRODUCTION
Divorce is a very common phenomenon nowadays. The divorce rate is
increasing every year. Of course, according to certain cultures, divorce is a
disgraceful act, one of which is the Bugis-Makassar Culture. Rusli (2012) argues
that divorce is a disgrace to the family and makes the family feel mate' siri' (loss
of honour), this is because the wedding costs incurred by the husband and wife are
very much, besides that the energy that has been expended before the wedding
ceremony, the continuation of the child's life -children from husband and wife,
and extended family will be embarrassed when a family member does a divorce.
The most felt impact due to parental divorce occurs in the adolescent
phase. Amato (2012) suggests that the most felt impact due to parental divorce is
at the age of 18 and under. Teenagers feel the impact of their parents' divorce
because at this age teenagers have just started an important stage in their lives that
leads to an adult phase at which age teenagers must also focus on their parents'
divorce cases. Hurlock (2012) argues that adolescents and parents who have a
good relationship will help adolescents achieve the developmental tasks they are
going through, but adolescents who have a bad relationship with both parents such

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Volume 5 Issue 1 April 2023
p-ISSN: 2656-9914 e-ISSN: 2656-8772

as parental divorce will hinder the achievement of the adolescent's developmental

tasks.
According to Stahl (2004), the direct impact of adolescents due to parental
divorce is experiencing academic failure, eating and sleeping irregularities,
experiencing depression and other psychological disorders. Adolescents who have
divorced parents mostly have problems with their peers. Research conducted by
Feeney and Monin (2008) on adolescents who have teenagers whose parents are
divorced. The results of the study show that adolescents who come from families
with divorced parents have feelings of insecurity with their peers who still have
intact families. This is because teenagers who have divorced parents lose parental
figures who make them feel safe. Research conducted by Saragi, et al (2022) the
impact of parental divorce on adolescents is that it has an impact on children's
psychosocial and children's learning achievements and emotions that they tend to
find difficult to manage.
Efforts made to overcome the impact of parental divorce is to forgive.
Forgiveness can be done to return to fostering relationships with both parents who
have hurt teenagers as a result of the divorce. Setyawan (2007) suggests that one
of the efforts to overcome the impact of divorce on children is through a process
of forgiveness for those who have caused pain to children. Research conducted by
Febri (2022) suggests that adolescents who have divorced parents have a high
level of forgiveness towards their parents. Annisa (2016) suggests that forgiveness
is an effective way of dealing with personal problems between parents and
children who are divorced because there are four processes, namely
understanding, knowledge, and providing moments so that the guilty person can
correct his mistake.
Adolescents have different responses in dealing with parental divorce.
Smith (2013) argued that children display different responses to parental divorce,
this response depends on the child's age. Children at school age, from 6-8 years
old may be sad about changes in their family and miss the presence of parents
who are gone, while children aged 9 to 12 years can already understand and
maintain their feelings, but anger is the strongest emotion shown by children at
this age. Relonds and Janzen (2007) argue that children who have entered
adolescence, children have understood the divorce that happened to their parents.
Teenagers will feel hurt and hold anger over their parents' divorce and hide their
feelings from other individuals, but many teenagers also show anger openly.
The problem that occurs is that sometimes it is difficult for teenagers to
forgive their parents for various reasons. Research conducted by Hasan (Azra,
2017) suggests that it will be difficult for teenagers to forgive their parents
because they think that giving forgiveness to their parents is a risky and unfair
thing for them and will lower their self-esteem, especially when the teenager does
not get anything from their parents. Research conducted by Sadiq and Mehnaz
(2017) suggests that even though it has a positive impact, adolescents have lower
forgiveness compared to adults and the elderly. Research conducted by Zagrean
(2020) suggests that family integrity and forgiveness are highly correlated.
Adolescents who are in an incomplete family condition, they tend to find it

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p-ISSN: 2656-9914 e-ISSN: 2656-8772

difficult to forgive their family compared to adolescents who have an intact

family.
Forgiveness and culture are closely related. Bugis-Makassar culture has its
own way of giving forgiveness, namely by taking revenge on those who have hurt
them. Mattanggaran, Khumas and Zainuddin (2015) suggest that forgiving
behavior towards Bugis and Makassar people can occur when the person has
taken revenge and is satisfied to have taken revenge on the person who made the
mistake. When the individual is not satisfied in taking revenge, then the behavior
of forgiveness has not occurred. Of course, this is contrary to forgiveness, which
is not taking revenge on those who have hurt.
The factors that influence this forgiveness are emotional intelligence and
attachment to parents. Worhington and Wade (1999) suggest that the factors that
influence forgiveness are emotional intelligence, offender response, emergence of
empathy, relationship quality, rumination, religious commitment, and personal
factors. Enright (2001) argues that individuals who want to bring up forgiveness
behavior need the individual's ability to control negative emotions such as hatred,
anger, rejection and the desire to take revenge. Controlling emotions can be done
when individuals can manage emotions well such as behaving well, generating
empathy and love. Positive emotions in individuals can arise because of high
emotional intelligence, individuals with high emotional intelligence have a high
level of motivation to be able to achieve their goals and desires in life, are able to
control themselves and not behave deviantly.
Research conducted by Setyawan (2018) examined the relationship
between attachment to parents and forgiveness in adolescents. The results showed
that there was a positive relationship between parental attachment and forgiveness
with a correlation coefficient of 0.204. Attachment to parents has an effect of
20.4% on forgiveness. Research conducted by Gonzalez, Navarro and Karapas
suggests that a good relationship with divorced parents and having a good
attachment to them will increase adolescents' forgiveness of their parents.
Based on the explanation above, the purpose of this study was to see a picture of
forgiveness in adolescents who have divorced parents in the Bugis Makassar tribe.

METHODS
This study uses a descriptive quantitative approach. Respondents in this
study were 179 adolescents who were aged 12-18 years, had parents divorced for
a maximum of 5 years and were of Makassar Bugis ethnicity. The sampling
technique is purposive sampling. This study uses three scales, namely the
Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations Inventory (TRIM-18) designed
by McCullough, Root, & Cohen in 2006 (α = 0.85) to measure forgiveness. Data
analysis in this research is descriptive analysis.

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p-ISSN: 2656-9914 e-ISSN: 2656-8772

FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

Figure 1. Categorization of Teen Forgiveness

The results of this study indicate that there are 147 (82.1%) students who
have high forgiveness and as many as 31 (17.3%) students who have moderate
forgiveness and as many as 1 (0.6%) subject with low forgiveness. The results of
the categorization above show that most students who have divorced parents have
high and moderate levels of forgiveness towards their parents.
The above research is in accordance with the theory of Greenberg (2010)
which suggests that forgiveness is known as a method for restoring relationships
and healing emotional wounds, and increasing positive emotions for individuals.
Forgiveness has an effect on attachment to individuals who have hurt. Research
conducted by Bonab, et al (2016) suggests that the quality of attachment between
adolescents and divorced parents can lead to forgiving behavior. Research
conducted by Ji (2022) revealed that having a good attachment to divorced parents
can increase forgiveness in adolescents who have divorced parents.
Forgiveness education in children can also reduce children's anger.
Anuncibay, et al (2021) suggested that there is a relationship between anger and
forgiveness towards a decrease in anger among adolescent victims of parental
divorce. The same results were found in research conducted by Rapp, Xu, and
Enright (2022) who stated that forgiveness education interventions in children and
adolescents can significantly reduce anger levels. So that children can benefit
from learning about forgiveness. Akhtar and Barlow (2018) suggest that
forgiveness interventions for adolescents who have divorced parents have an
important role in promoting individual well-being and eliminating trauma in
adolescents.
Even though some teenagers have forgiven their parents, some have not
been able to forgive their parents. Research conducted by Sumari, Subramaniam,
and Khalid (2020) found that children who have divorced parents, although they
have been able to forgive their parents, there are still some who have not been
able to forgive their parents. This is due to the wounds that arise as a result of

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Volume 5 Issue 1 April 2023
p-ISSN: 2656-9914 e-ISSN: 2656-8772

their parents' divorce. Following are the results of additional interviews from
respondents:
“nda bisa kagh control ki emosiku kak… kadang suka kagh marah-
maarah sama mamaku… terus kalau misalnya punya kagh masalah lebih
ku simpan ki sendiri dari pada ku cerita ke temanku apa lagi kalo
berhubungan sama kasus cerainya pace maceku kak nda ku cerita mi itu…
dan kalau kasus orangtua ku dak bisa pka maafkanki orangtuaku terutama
bapakku”
Adolescents who have divorced parents are influenced by emotional
cognitive processes or in the form of emotional intelligence in the form of
empathy and adolescents feel the importance of the presence of parents. Research
conducted by Aminillah and Hendriani in (2018) teenagers who have divorced
parents. This research was conducted on three teenagers who have divorced
parents. The results of the research were that the three subjects could forgive their
parents' divorce because they realized the importance of their parents' existence
and accepted their parents' divorce which could not be changed so they had to
accept whatever conditions they experienced. The factors that influence the
process of forgiveness on the subject are the existence of emotional cognitive
processes or emotional intelligence in the form of empathy. This research is in
accordance with the theory put forward by McCullough, et al (1998) suggesting
that forgiveness is facilitated by emotional intelligence in the form of empathy,
where when an individual who hurts apologizes it will generate empathy from the
individual who was hurt to help the individual who hurt him. McCullogh (2000)
states that there are four factors that influence individuals to forgive, namely
emotional intelligence, situational factors, quality of interpersonal relationships,
and the influence of one's personality.
Relationships between families with good emotional intelligence tend to
be more forgiving. Bar-On (2010) suggests that when it comes to family
relationships, family members with good emotional intelligence are more likely to
exhibit forgiving behavior. Family conditions like this are easier to solve
problems, are more able to see the perspectives of other individuals, and the
quality of interpersonal relationships is more positive. The condition of a divorced
family but still building on the attitude above will certainly make all family
members feel safe and comfortable even though there are changes in the family
structure. Byrne and Branscombe (2011) suggest that the closer the individual is
to the offender, the greater the individual's tendency to forgive. So it can be
concluded that teenagers tend to forgive their parents because of their close
relationship.
Factors that support increased emotional intelligence and attachment to
parents so that forgiveness occurs are family characteristics. Hamalik (Nashuka &
Darmawanti, 2013) suggests that family characteristics are characterized by
sufficient attention, affection, an atmosphere of brotherhood and friendship,
personal self-respect, openness and mutual acceptance, and a humorous
atmosphere can influence adolescent emotional intelligence and secure attachment
in adolescents. who are going through a divorce. Stable emotional intelligence and

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p-ISSN: 2656-9914 e-ISSN: 2656-8772

secure attachment will bring forth forgiveness in adolescents. Saragi, et al (2022)

suggest that communication from divorced parents will have a sizable impact on
children's forgiveness and help children to become strong about the problems they
face.
Another factor that can increase the occurrence of forgiveness is gratitude.
Research conducted by Tessy, Setiasih, and Nanik (2022) looked at the effect of
gratitude on forgiveness. Being grateful for all the events that occur as a result of
a parent's divorce makes it easy for children to forgive their parents. Nashriyati
(2016) suggests that forgiveness and gratitude are interrelated between one
variable and another.
The next factor is personality. Kaleta and Mroz (2021) suggest that the
personality of agrebelness and neuroticism has the most influence on the
formation of forgiveness. This is in accordance with research conducted by
Nashori, et al (2020) which stated that the big five personalities are closely related
to forgiveness in adolescents who have divorced parents.
The next factor supporting forgiveness is revenge. The people of South
Sulawesi, especially the Bugis and Makassar people, deeply instill the value of
Siri (shame)'. Hamid (Pelras, 2006) argues that siri' is defined as human dignity
and dignity and there is no higher value to defend and defend. Bugis and
Makassar people who feel Siri ripakasiri or Bugis-Makassar people who are
demeaned by other people, will cause revenge for the Bugis-Makassar people. The
Siri' culture of the Bugis Makassar people is very strong in the aspect of shame so
that it defeats the aspect of guilt, so that when the Bugis and Makassar people feel
humiliated, that person will sacrifice the rights of others and take revenge for the
actions of those who have humiliated them. When the Bugis and Makassar people
are satisfied with revenge, it is very likely that forgiveness will occur.
In finding the meaning of his life, individuals must be able to forgive and
accept themselves for the divorce that has occurred and also be able to think
positively. Rahmania, et al (2021) suggest that forgiveness and self-acceptance
can increase the meaning of life for adolescents who have divorced parents. Febri
(2022) suggests positive thinking can increase forgiveness in adolescents who
have divorced parents.

CONCLUSION
Based on the results of the research above, the researchers concluded that
there was an influence of emotional intelligence and attachment to parents on
forgiveness in post-divorce adolescents in the Bugis-Makassar tribe. There are
other factors that can affect forgiveness in adolescents who have divorced parents,
namely family characteristics, revenge, and gratitude.

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