University of Maryland, College Park

Pearl Diving Assignment 1

Mark Rybski

Communication for Project Managers: ENCE424

Dr. Shana Webster-Trotman

February, 21, 2024

Concepts/techniques:

The first topic that I was able to relate to was public speaking anxiety, which was
discussed in the reading from "A Pocket Guide to Public Speaking" written by Dan O'Hair. Ever
since I can remember, I have always had a problem with public speaking whether it be in front of
a small group or an entire class. I always thought that it had to solely do with me being
diagnosed with anxiety in general, but as I realized throughout the years, I am not alone and that
many people go through public speaking anxiety. When first thinking about communicating, I
felt I was a great speaker within a social setting, especially with people I knew very well.
However, when it comes to public speaking, even in the smallest setting, I cannot seem to shake
the anxiety that always arises, and that is why I feel I reside with Dan O'Hair's chapter on
"Managing Your Anxiety." One aspect I found interesting in this chapter was that certain people
become anxious at different stages in the public speaking process, as I never really considered
where or when I start to get anxious. When taking a deeper look into pinpointing where my
anxiety onsets, I came to find that there are two different stages where my anxiety hits most, and
that is during the "Pre-Performance" and "Performance" Stages. Usually, the anxiety does not
tend to set in until the night before my speech when I am rehearsing, and this affects the way I
rehearse and tears down my confidence. However, one technique that I found could be helpful
was the "positive self-talk" technique, where you "turn negative thoughts to positive ones." (Dan
O'Hair, 273). I find that in the future, using this technique can help reduce my pre-performance
anxiety, as I usually tend to let my negative thoughts take over and tank my confidence. For
example, this happened to me not too long ago; it was during an in-class group activity to be
presented at the end of class. At the start of the activity, it was decided that I should be one of
two presenters as I was the only one who hadn't presented for the group in previous classes. The
second I agreed to be the presenter, my anxiety shot sky-high. While working on this
presentation with the group, I could not stop thinking about how I would mess up the
presentation, fumble over my words, or look dumb in front of the entire class. However, little did
I know if I could have just practiced positive self-talk and turned all these negative thoughts into
positive ones that I not only could have reduced my anxiety but maybe even been excited to
present.

The second concept I found particularly interesting and engaging was in the reading
"Crucial Conversations," where the authors discussed the power of dialogue. The chapter
started with a story about an 'opinion leader' named Kevin who, when dealing with a
controversial topic with his boss and colleagues, was able to speak up and get out all the relevant
information that everyone else was too nervous to say to their boss and ultimately change his
boss's mind. When thinking about this story, I related to Kevin's colleagues who remained quiet
in this controversial conversation, as I would have done the same. However, what Kevin was
able to do was keep a free flow of relevant information, all while remaining open and honest,
expressing his opinion, sharing his feelings, and articulating his theories. In crucial
conversations, what leads to success is the free flow of relevant information and including
everyone in a shared pool of meaning. You must make everyone comfortable to express their
feelings, opinions, and theories, which will ultimately lead to better ideas and understandings,
creating a successful, crucial conversation. I am trying to become better with my dialogue in
order to be successful in such crucial and high-stakes conversations. I am doing so by always
remaining open, asking others how they feel, and sharing their opinions to gain insight into what
they think to create a shared pool of meaning. Being a leader, especially in project management,
listening to other people and considering their emotions/opinions are crucial to finding the most
effective solution.

The third concept I found appealing is Storytelling, which I read about in Carmine
Gallo’s book “The Communication Secrets to Get Five from Good to Great Stars.” Beginning
with a story captures the listener’s attention from the very start. Stories are emotional; the best
way to relate to people is to bring them into your story. This is true for selling an idea, brand, or
even your credibility. I like the concept of using Pathos and Logos (emotion and logic) as part of
your story. Another concept to include in your story is empathy with your listeners/customers.
An excellent example in the book was Apple. Their story is a store that enriches lives. Instead of
hiring clerks or salespeople, they hired geniuses and concierges. I am working on my story of
overcoming the odds to practice this skill. I was diagnosed with OCD and ADHD in elementary
school, and my journey has not been easy. Most people do not fully understand the depth of
OCD and the impact it can have on one’s life. I will use my personal story to connect with
people, build trust, and demonstrate vulnerability.

Growing Networking Abilities:

Before this class and reading Networking for College Students and Graduates: Nonstop
Business Networking that Will Change Your Life by Michael L. Faulkner and Andrea
Nierenberg, I never thought about how vital it is to network. I made a LinkedIn profile about two
years ago when I started to look for summer internships and only connected with a few friends.
My intention in making it was not specifically for networking at the time but for looking and
applying to job postings. It took me a long time to land an internship, and it was not due to
networking. The only form of networking I have participated in was reaching out to others
through mutual friends. However, while reading Michael L. Faulkner and Andrea Nierenberg's
book and listening to lectures in class, I began to realize the importance of broadening my
network abilities. One aspect that I connected with is when Michael L. Faulkner and Andrea
Nierenberg mentioned how true the saying "it's not what you know, but who you know" and how
even just making connections on LinkedIn is a way of networking and how "just 4.5 contacts
separate us." (Michael L. Faulkner and Andrea Nierenberg, 463). Hearing this has brought me to
make the necessary ten connections and connect with multiple people from home and within my
fraternity.

The first step I took to broaden my network was to make a list. I wrote down the names
of everyone I know in the Real Estate and Construction business. I also looked at their LinkedIn
profile to see if they were connected to anyone in the companies I am targeting. I began reaching
out to those closest to me – family members, neighbors, and close friends. I have already had
some success. My Aunt, a successful Real Estate Agent, put me in touch with an executive in a
construction company. Nothing has materialized yet, but I will stay in touch. Another good
contact is a close friend whose parents do a lot of work with large Construction companies. I will
speak with them in the next few weeks to review my experience and career aspirations. I have a
lot more contacts to make in the coming weeks. I want to wait a while for those I do not know as
well to see if any jobs are posted in their companies. I think April is when more companies will
post jobs for recent college graduates, and ideally, I would like them to refer me to a specific job.
I will also not underestimate what my alums can do to help me, which is another list of
networking that I will be tapping into over the coming weeks/months.

DISC (Steadiness 37%/Influence 25% /Compliance 21% /Dominance 18%) Scan of DISC
at the bottom of this document:

Based on the DISC descriptions, I agree with the results. I found the results extremely
interesting. My most dominant personality type is Steadiness. I have a lot of patience and do not
get upset easily. It takes a lot to get me mad; when I do get mad, it is usually when I feel the
person is not listening. I am a private person and do not share my feelings easily, which may
sometimes lead to misunderstandings. I do consider myself a thoughtful person as I care deeply
about maintaining strong, healthy relationships. I also have an issue with change and the loss of
stability, and I do not like to offend others or let people down. The second dominating trait is
Influence. I actually see this trait higher than 25% and closer to my dominating trait- Steadiness.
Friendships and happiness are very important to me, and I feel my Influence uses my empathetic
and optimistic style.

A surprising insight is the challenges of the “I” style. I do find it hard to focus for long periods,
have difficulty speaking directly, and can be conflict adverse. I have OCD and ADHD and have
always attributed these challenges to these disorders. It helps to know that these challenges are
also part of a personality trait many share.

Being self-aware of my personality type can help me build my self-confidence. Knowing my

strengths will help me maximize these qualities, and being aware of my blind spots will help me
to focus on these areas to be a more effective communicator. I will speak more candidly and
confront problems. I will continue to be open to new ideas and generate excitement. I will remain
an effective listener and share more about myself and my values. These qualities are critical for
strong leadership.

Conflict Management Styles (scan of assessment at the bottom of this document):

My conflict management style is accommodating, which is not surprising based on my

DISC and Jung profiles. I value relationships/friendships more than anything else. When conflict
arises, I feel anxious and do what I can to maintain the relationship. Although this style has some
positive elements, like faster resolution of issues and strong relationships, I feel my
accommodating style can hinder many of my crucial conversations. One recent example that
comes to mind is the planning of a trip to Mexico with a large group of friends. The flight my
friends selected was very early in the morning with a long connection. I did not want to take a
very early flight in the morning and have such a long connection. I found a flight at the same
price, leaving at a more reasonable time in the morning and a shorter connection time. I was
reluctant to text my friends because they were all pretty set on the flight they found. My mother
pushed me to at least text my friends the information. Ultimately, I did, but my text could have
been more persuasive. I phrased it in a rather meek way as another option to consider. I did not
stress the positives over the less appealing option. I was not looking forward to a debate on the
topic, so I just presented the option for them to decide. I did not follow up when I got no
response. I wanted to accommodate everyone else who seemed set in their decision. My style did
not open up a dialogue based on how I wrote the text. I did not ask for a response or provide the
positive outcomes of choosing this option.

Another example is my summer internship last year at Volvo. All the interns got to select a
vehicle to use for one week. There were five interns, and the manager asked us to determine who
got which car. One intern quickly jumped up and said, “That car is mine.” Everyone else
followed and quickly stated their preference, and I waited till everyone was done. I did not feel
comfortable selecting a car that another intern may have wanted and was grateful to the company
for supplying me with any car to use. I was more focused on the relationships with the other
interns and preferred not to get into a conflict. My style was very accommodating, but when I
reflect on the situation, I really did not get what I wanted. I did have a car preference and could
have spoken up without creating a conflict.

The last example is a situation where my style helped in effective communication. Ten of my
friends rented a house off campus. Most of the friends were in their senior year, and they needed
a few more people, and asked a couple of junior year friends to do them a favor and move in as
well. I was reluctant because the house setup was not ideal, and I was concerned I might not get
the rest I needed to do well in my studies. My mother was particularly concerned when I told her
my bedroom was on the first floor near the kitchen. She was upset with the entire situation and
asked me to fix the problem. I was reluctant to bring it up to my friends, given we all drew
straws on who got the best room. After days of wrestling with how to best approach my friends, I
decided to ask my closest friend if he would switch rooms with me. He was going abroad for the
spring semester so he would not have to deal with the room situation for the entire year. I shared
my concerns of why I did not want to be on the first floor and asked him if he wouldn’t mind
switching. He graciously agreed and it worked out. In this situation, my style helped effective
communication.

The following are some techniques I will use to enhance my communication style:
● I like the concept of a shared pool of meaning/ideas, and everyone owns it. I like this
technique because it is fair and leads to the best results and everyone feels part of the
solution. Do not stay quiet. Do not be afraid to speak my mind. I will provide all relevant
information and get it out in the open. To have an effective dialogue all ideas should be
heard, this leads to better choices. I think this technique would have worked well with my
example of selecting a different flight to Mexico. It is also a good place for me to start
given my personality profile.

● Start with your Heart and focus on what I really want. This technique will help me to
be more reflective. I need to ask myself the right questions – what do I really want, and
what do I want for others and want for the relationship? And ask myself what I do not
want to happen. How can I have a candid conversation without having a bad
conversation? This technique will help me to remember my goal and stay focused. As a
INFJ, this is an area I need to improve. My personality profile and my conflict
management style are closely connected. This technique would have helped in the Volvo
example. I would have communicated my car preference in a non-offensive manner that
 would keep solid peer relationships and show my appreciation for the company’s
generosity while being open to other options.

● Watch for conditions/dual processing – this technique is particularly helpful for me,
given my anxiety. I need to be in touch with my physical, emotional, and behavioral signs
and learn to spot these signs in others as well. If I can assess what is going on in an
uncomfortable dialogue, I can be in a better position to create a safe environment for an
open and constructive dialogue. Typically, if I do not feel safe, I retreat and become silent
or try to leave the situation. This is in direct conflict with the share-pooling concept.

● Master My Stories – I took the style under a stress test, and this technique was
suggested based on my responses to questions. In reviewing this technique, I found it
very interesting and think this is a very useful tool. I can think of times when I created
my own story when something did not feel right, and I was annoyed by a person’s
actions. It happened in class when I came up with an idea, and it went unacknowledged
by the professor ten minutes later, someone else said the same idea in a slightly different
way, and the professor praised the classmate. My story was the professor did not like me
and this led to me feeling less engaged. If I tell myself a different story, that the professor
was preoccupied and did not hear me or maybe the classmate was struggling with
self-esteem, and she wanted to boost his confidence I would not feel the same way. It is
important to be in touch with your feelings and get to the facts to master your story.

Jung Personality (INFJ):

Overall, I agree with the results of the Jung personality assessment. The two that resonate
the most are Introvert and feeler. Being classified as an introvert does not come as a surprise.
Growing up, I did not like to be the center of attention or in the spotlight. I got more of my
energy by observing and listening to others. I do enjoy being around people, but I like time alone
to reflect and enjoy the calmness of being alone. The other classification of feeler certainly
resonates with me. I care deeply about people’s feelings and want everyone to get along. I do not
like conflict and try to help to create balance by getting involved to resolve issues. My sense of
justice also led me to consider joining the military. I felt this desire to do my part for the greater
good.

The other two types, Intuitive and Judger, also rang true but were not as strong as introverted and
Feeler. I have a creative side, but I have not fully explored this area. This trait may come out
more when I start working. I thought judging felt like a negative word; however, in reading the
definition, what hit home is that I do struggle to meet my goals unless I make it part of my
everyday routine. Knowing this will help me to stay on track and keep to a schedule.

One surprising insight is that INFJ types do not like criticism and can take things personally. I do
think this describes me well, as I am a sensitive person. Another surprise is that INFJ types are
rare, with a unique combination of personality traits, and only make up 1.5% of the general
population. Understanding more about this uniqueness makes me understand myself better. In
addition, I found it interesting that people with this personality type need to watch out for
burnout. People who focus on helping others may not take enough time for themselves. It is
essential to be mindful to strike a good balance.

My JUNG personality is similar to my two strongest DISC assessment results. I scored highest in
Steadiness and second highest in Influence. Steadiness is like the calm nature of an introvert, and
Influence has similarities to a feeler, given their concern for people. I am not surprised that
dominance scored last, as I do not enjoy being the center of attention.

Ten Accepted Linkedin Requests:

Mahum Shah, Owen Schweitzer, Jessica Kluh, Maya Filipovitz, Courtney Lenox, Christopher
Hooper, Heather Horowitz, Matthew Mariano, Mehmed Repesa, Meg Jordan.
Proof of Assessments