Father-son relationship in “A Family Supper”

Although the Japanese are well-known for their serious, formal and traditional way of life, you’d thought that when it comes to
family, they’re a little bit more affective or emotional. Well, the writer and his father seem to deny this theory. They act like two
complete strangers; if you didn’t know that they are related, you would probably say that they have just met and that they are talking to
each other for the first time. They feel uncomfortable with each other and we get the feeling that they can’t wait for the conversation to
end. Both of them have very strong personalities and maybe that’s the reason why they never show their feelings. Perhaps things could
have been different if the writer wouldn’t have left home, but the reason he left was probably his father. At some point, the old man has
a moment of weakness and instead of sharing his thoughts with his son, he prefers to close the subject and talk about absolutely
meaningless stuff. Although things with his father are not on the right track, the writer will probably stay in Japan and try to make their
relationship work.

When you first read the text, you tend to believe that Kazuo’s father is an insensitive, cold and formal person, who doesn’t love
anyone. But this feeling is totally wrong. He does care about his children but he just doesn’t know how to show it. His children are not
used to have a nice, pleasant conversation with their father and that is why they are so formal with him. After his wife’s death he
probably realized that his children were all he had and now he tries to change his way of acting towards them. Because of “the pure
samurai blood that ran in his veins” and the way he was probably raised by his parents, he doesn’t know how to express his feelings. He
tries to work things out with his son by asking him to come back home, because the house is “too big and too empty” for an old man like
him. His pride was the one that stopped him from telling his son he needs him there now that Kikuko is going to finish her studies and
go to the United States. He feels like he’s going to lose both of his children and he tries to do something about it. He now realizes that he
needs his family to help him overcome the pain caused by his wife and his best friend’s death.

Kazuo’s relationship with his father is not a normal one because they never seem to communicate. The writer admires very
much his father and he respects him a lot. He never says anything to offend him, although he doesn’t always agree with him. For Kazuo
it was impossible to talk to his father as “his general presence was not one which encouraged relaxed conversation. He had an odd way
of stating each remark as if it were the concluding one.” It was probably his way of acting that turned his son away. When Kazuo was
just a little boy, he had struck him several times around the head for chattering like an old woman. Their relationship got even worse
when he left home and gone to California, but the writer felt like he couldn’t stand living in the same house as his father. Probably, as
time will go by, they will both realize what they’ve missed by not being there for each other all these years.

When you think about a father-son relationship you think about two people that are very close to each other, that spend a lot of
time together, that talk about all their important matters, that do a lot of stuff together. But when you talk about Kazuo’s relationship
with his father things tend to be very different. The writer’s father had always been a man of principles, a proud and formal person.
Perhaps his way of acting turned his son away, making him leave Japan and go to the United States. At some point, the writer has a flash
back from his childhood: “He had struck me several times around the head for chattering like an old woman.” This only proves the
insensitivity and severe way of acting of his father. Because of his personality he couldn’t get any closer to his son although maybe he
wanted to. The fault is as much Kazuo’s as it is his father’s; he didn’t know how to make things right so he chose the easy way: he left
home. Maybe now they’re aware of the fact that life is short and you have to enjoy it with your friends and family and they’ll probably
“kiss and make up”.

If you’re looking for a nice, strong father-son relationship, “A Family Supper” is probably the worst example you could find.
From the way they are acting you’d think that they are not even related; they only speak to each other because they have to, not because
they want to. Maybe the reason why they are so cold to each other is the lack of communication. They barely say anything and when
they do, they only say formal things. This lack of communication is probably due to the writer’s father severe way of thinking and
acting. Perhaps his mother was a little bit gentler than his father was but he still missed the family care and affection. Their relationship
got even worse when he left home and gone to California. His father lived with the thought that the reason why his wife died was their
son’s departure. In fact, that was just a way of taking out his anger. The writer wants to stay in Japan because his family is here, but at
the same time he feels that his father hasn’t change and it will be difficult for him to try and make things better.

If we would have to find a word to describe Kazuo’s relationship with his father, this word would surely be “strange”. The
reason why their relationship is so strange is that they never seem to communicate. They never really say anything important to each
other and they only use formal and polite lines. In fact, “his (the writer’s father) general presence was not one which encouraged relaxed
conversation. He had an odd way of stating each remark as if it were the concluding one.” They probably realize that something is
wrong with their relationship, but none of them does anything to change it. Kazuo acts like he’s afraid of his father and he doesn’t want
to argue with him. The distance between them, their pride and formality will make Kazuo go back to the United States, in California.
Just like his father, he is too proud to admit that he had made some mistakes and this ever-present lack of communication is going to
keep them apart for a very long time.

The father-son relationship in “A Family Supper” is a very unusual one. Kazuo (the writer) and his father don’t act like father
and son, they barely speak to each other and they never express their feelings or their emotions. For both of them affection equals
weakness and they can’t stand the thought of being “caught off guard”. They both are proud men and it will take a while for one of them
to admit he had made a mistake. When it comes to who made more mistakes we tend to say that it was the writer’s father but Kazuo
also made a mistake when he left home without trying to talk his father into changing his way of acting with his family. It’s hard to
believe that he would have accomplished this but at least he should have tried. Although things seem to get better with his father, the
writer still wants to go back to the United States. He’s aware of the fact that his father is starting to change, to become a more sensitive
person but their experience in the past makes him doubt this sudden change.