Derek Prince - The Marriage Covenant-Whitaker House (1978)

Unless otherwise indicated.
all Scripture quotations are taken

from the New American Standard Bible. (NAS) C 1960. 1962.
1968, 1971, 1973. 1975. 1977 by The Lockman Foundation.
Used by permission.
Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are taken fmm the King

James Version o f the Bible.
T H E MARRIAGE COVENANT
Derek Prince Ministries—Intemational

P O . B o x 19501
Charlotte, N C 2 8 2 1 9
ISBN: 0-88368-333-4
Printed in the United States o f America
Copyright © 1978 by Derek Prince
Whitaker House
3 0 Hunt Valley Circle
New Kensington, PA 15068
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Contents
Foreword by Ruth Prince .................................. 7
1. Marriage Is a Covenant ............................... 11

2. The Nature ofCovenant ............................. 27
3. Union between Man and Woman ............... 47
4. Union with God ........................................... 7 1
5. Union with God’s People ............................. 83
6 . The Point of Decision ................................ 103
About the Author .......................................... 1 19

Foreword
by Ruth Prince
oon after I came to know the Lord Jesus as
my Savior and Messiah in 1970, I came
into contact with real Christians whose mar-
riages were a constant testimony to His Lord-
ship in their lives. At about the same time, I
became acquainted with the teaching and
ministry of Derek Prince, Charles Simpson,
and others. As a single woman, my prayer to
God was, “Set me under authority, in the place
You have for me, that I may serve You in the
best way and help to prepare for the coming of
Your Kingdom.”
My prayers were answered several years
later, in a way that I had not anticipated, when
God chose me to be Derek’s wife, his new “help
meet” (Genesis 2:18 KJV). Derek’s first wife,
Lydia, was an extraordinary woman who laid
down her life and her own successful ministry
in Jerusalem for her husband. When Derek
married her in 1946, she was a respected spiri-
tual leader there with an established work of
8 The Marriage Covenant
her own.* However, she accepted willingly the

behind-the-scenes role of intercessor, home-
maker, supporter—that of a true wife.
When I first came into close personal con-
tact with Derek, I was impressed by the way he
lives out his teaching in his personal conduct;
he “practices what he preaches.” I have come
to see that much of his present ability to min-
ister to the needs of God’s people has its roots
in the relationship he and Lydia had with one
another for almost thirty years and in their
relationship, as a unit, with the Lord.
Most of the material contained in The
Marriage Covenant was developed and taught
before I came into Derek’s life. Yet, in the
same period of time, while I was living in J eru-
salem completely out of touch with his minis-
try and teaching, the Holy Spirit was speaking
to me along the same lines about the real
meaning of covenant. My study led me to
Genesis chapter 15. I identified with the expe-
rience of Abraham as he entered into a deep,
personal, life-changing relationship with God
—a relationship so profound that we still know
our God as “the God of Abraham.” It was a life
of total commitment.
* Lydia’s own dramatic story is told by Derek in

their book, Appointment i n Jerusalem, published
just before her death in 1 9 7 5 .
Foreword 9
During the same period, I was also reflect-

ing on the role of women in the body of our
Lord. I saw that God had created Eve for the
sole purpose of meeting Adam’s need, that man
was not complete without his God-given mate.
It seems to me that in contemporary Western
society and in much of the church too many
women are endeavoring (often loudly) to do
something they were never created to do—to
succeed in life as independent, solitary entities.
For a number of years, I myself sought fulfill-
ment in that way as a career woman. But when
I entered into a relationship with Jesus, my
life was redirected. I began to see that it is
women who are the losers—along with the
men who are not able to achieve the wholeness
God intended for them in union with their
mates.
I realize that it is not possible for every
man and every woman to find that ideal mate,
and that it certainly is better to be alone with
the Lord than to b e unequally yoked with an
unbeliever. For many, there is no other choice
than to remain single. The quality of the single
life, with which I am well acquainted, can b e
determined by the quality of the relationship
with God and the relationship with other
Christians. Commitment seems to be the key
—commitment to God, to His will for your life,
and commitment to that part of the body of

Christ with which you are connected.
It seems appropriate that this book is be-
ing published just as Derek and I are joining
our lives in the covenant of marriage. At the
same time, I am joining myself to the part of
the body with which he is associated in the
United States, and he with the part of the body
to which I belong in Jerusalem. We believe we
are conforming to God’s pre-ordained plan as
we each lay down our life for the other, that we
may merge into one new entity under the
Lordship of Jesus. We know that, as with eve-
rything in the spiritual life, this must be
walked out on a day-to-day basis. I believe that
this book contains not only the pattern, but
the practical instruction on how to do so.
I pray that applying the principles of this
book will lead you, whether you are a man or a
woman, into the wholeness that God wills for
you, in covenant relationship with Himself and
with His people.
Ruth Prince
Chapter 1
Marriage Is a
Covenant
s there a secret to a successful marriage?

Why do some couples succeed and others
fail? I s it all just a matter of chance?
One thing is certain: if there is a secret
that ensures a successful marriage, millions of
couples in our contemporary culture have
never found i t . In almost every country in
Western civilization, the proportion of divorces
to marriages has soared dramatically in the
last few decades. In the United States, we have
reached a situation where there is approxi-
mately one divorce for every two marriages.
Fifty years ago, a person familiar with Ameri-
can life would never have dreamed that such a
situation could arise in so short a period.
However, the ratio of divorces to mar-
riages does not tell the whole story. Many
11
marriages that have not yet ended in the final

shipwreck of divorce, nevertheless nd them-
selves in very troubled and unhappy circum-
stances. In some cases, there is open strife and
disharmony, usually involving all those who
live under the one roof, both parents and chil-
dren. In other cases, although things appear
fairly calm on the surface, underneath there
are the festering sores of bitterness, unfor-
giveness, and rebellion. Sooner or later, these
are liable to erupt in the form of some mental
or emotional breakdown, the cause of which
may never be precisely diagnosed.
Those who are specically concerned with
mental health have suggested that about one
out of every four persons in America today ei-
ther needs, or will need, some form of psychi-
atric care. Psychiatric wards in many hospitals
are overowing, and professional psychiatrists
are in ever-increasing demand. This has a di-
rect bearing on the condition of marriage and
the home, because it is generally agreed that
the majority of mental and emotional problems
can be traced back to tension and disharmony
in the home, primarily in marriage relation-
ships. Thus, the progressive deterioration of
mental and emotional health is one of many
symptoms in contemporary society, all of
which point to the most urgent social problem
Marriage Is a Covenant 13
of our day—the breakdown of marriage and

the home.
The reaction of certain contemporary so-
ciologists to this situation has taken the form
of passively accepting the inevitable. Some
have even gone so far as to assert that the con-
cept of marriage was a “mistake” in the first
place, and that it is no longer relevant in our
present “advanced” state of social progress.
However, many of the so-called experts who
make such pronouncements are themselves the
product of unhappy homes; not a few also have
the record of at least one unsuccessful mar-
riage in their own lives. We may therefore
have grounds to inquire whether their state-
ments to the effect that marriage i s irrelevant
or outmoded do not merely put them on the
level of the fox in Aesop’s fable. He had tried
desperately to reach a cluster of luscious
grapes, but failed. His final comment was,
“They’re probably sour anyway!”
In the face of this confused situation and
these conflicting opinions, I want to state,
clearly and briefly, my own personal convic-
tion. I believe that there is a secret that can
ensure a successful marriage. Further-
more, I believe that this secret is revealed in
the pages of one unique book—the Bible.
Before I proceed to explain what this se-
cret is, it will be appropriate for me to give a
little of my own personal background. This

could be interpreted as presenting my creden-
tials and qualifications for addressing this
subject.
Personal Background
I was educated at two of Britain’s most

famous educational institutions—Eton College
and Cambridge University. Prior to World War
I I , I pursued a career in philosophy, and in
1940 I was elected to a Fellowship (i.e., a resi-
dent professorship) in this eld at King’s Col-
lege, Cambridge. However, the impact of World
War II interrupted my academic career.
In 1941, while serving as a hospital atten-
dant in the British Army, I had a dramatic,
life-changing encounter with God—something
which was totally out of line with my previous
philosophic theories and preconceptions. Out
of this encounter, I formed two conclusions
which I have never since had reason to change:
rst, that Jesus Christ is alive; second, that
the Bible is a true, relevant, up-to-date book.
These two conclusions radically and perma-
nently altered the whole course of my life.
When I was in Jerusalem in 1946, I mar-
ried a Danish lady, Lydia Christensen, who
was the “mother” of a small home for girls
which she had founded there. Through my

marriage to Lydia, in one day I became the
adoptive father of eight girls, of whom six were
Jewish, one was Arab, and one was English.
Also at this time,I studied for two years at the
Hebrew University in Jerusalem. Lydia and I
and our eight girls continued living in Jerusa-
lem throughout the upheavals that marked the
birth ofthe State of Israel. We thus came face
to face, as a family, with the grim realities of
siege, famine,and war. Later we moved, still as
a family,to Britain.
In the years that followed, I served in
various capacities in various lands: as a pastor
in Britain; as an educator in Kenya; as a Bible
teacher and conference speaker in Europe,
Canada, the United States,New Zealand,Aus-
tralia and other countries. Throughout all my
travels, Lydia was always by my side. Some-
times,after we had been ministering together
in public, people would make the comment,
“The two of you work together as if you were
one person.”
In Kenya, Lydia and I adopted our ninth
child—an African baby girl. We successfully
completed the raising of all our nine girls. All
but our youngest have married and have pre-
sentedus with many grandchildren.
After thirty years,my marriage with Lydia
was terminatedby her death.Our life together
had always been an open book—not only to our

children, but also to countless pe0ple who,
through the years, came to our home for coun-
seling and prayer. Of all those who knew us in
this way, I question whether there are any who
would not agree that our marriage was happy
and successful. Certainly it had its fair share of
tensions and problems—more than would
normally b e experienced by a couple who spend
their whole life in one familiar setting. But the
success of a marriage does not depend upon the
absence of tensions and problems; it depends
upon a special quality of relationship that
needs to be developed between husband and
wife.
In the pages that follow, it is my intention
to share with you the secret of how to build a
relationship of this kind. I trust that the brief
outline of my life to this point will b e sufcient
to demonstrate that my convictions are not
just a set of abstract theories which have never
been put to the tests of real life.
Perhaps I should add that at the moment
of writing I am about to remarry. Coinciden-
tally, I met my second wife, Ruth, like my rst,
in Jerusalem. I enter this second marriage
with a quiet trust that God will also crown this
marriage with His blessing, as Ruth and I meet
the conditions which He has revealed in Scrip-
ture.
Marriage Is a “Mystery”
In Ephesians 5:22—32, Paul explains the

Christian view of marriage. He concludes by
saying, “This mystery is g r e a t . . . ” Thus, he ac-
knowledges that marriage is a mystery. In
Paul’s time, the word mystery had a more spe-
cific meaning than it does today. Then, it had
religious associations. It denoted a form of
knowledge that conferred valuable benefits but
was restricted to a special group who were
bound together by their religious practices. For
a person to have access to this knowledge, he
had first to be initiated into the group.
Thus, Paul’s use of the word mystery to
describe the marriage relationship suggests
two things: first, that there is a little-known
form of knowledge which can make marriage
what it ought to be; second, that a person can
only acquire this knowledge by undergoing cer-
tain tests and meeting certain conditions. It is
the main purpose of this book to initiate the
reader into these tests and conditions.
In the book of Deuteronomy, when the
children of Israel were ready to enter into their
promised inheritance in the land of Canaan,
Moses reviewed for them the kind of lifestyle
God had planned for them in their new envi-
ronment. He promised them, on God’s behalf,
that if they would keep God’s law, they would
be abundantly blessed in every area of their

lives. In particular, Moses told them that their
homes would be like “heaven upon...earth”
(Deuteronomy 11:21 KJV). He painted a beauti-
ful picture of contentment and unbroken har-
mony. Such was the level of home life God had
planned for His people.
About twelve hundred years later, through
the prophet Malachi, God took stock of Israel’s
conduct since they had entered into their in-
heritance. In general, they had failed to meet
God’s conditions and therefore had not enjoyed
the level of life He had planned for them. In
His assessment, God pinpointed a number of
specific areas of failure. One was in the Israel-
ites’ home lives, and specifically in their mar-
riages. Here is what the Lord says concerning
this:
’3 “And this i s another thing you do: you

cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with
weeping and with groaning, because He no
longer regards the offering or accepts i t
with favor from your hand.
’4 “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because
the LORD has been a witness between you
and the wife of your youth, against whom
you have dealt treacherously, though she is
your companion and your wife by cove-
nant. ” Malachi 2:13-14)
Obviously, Israel’s failure in this respect

was not due to lack of religion. They were
“cover[ing] the altar of the LORD with tears.”
Yet, for all their prayers, their marriages were
failures. We are quite often confronted with a
similar situation today. People may be very
busy with religious activities and yet be unable
to make a success of their marriages. Their re-
ligion does not enable them to succeed at
home. Indeed, excessive preoccupation with
religion outside the home, by one or both par-
ties, is sometimes an important factor in the
failure of a marriage.
The essence of Israel’s failure is contained
in the closing phrase of Malachi 2:14: “though
she is. . .your wife by covenant.” Israel had come
to view marriage as a relationship for which
they might set their own standards; one which
they were free to initiate or terminate on their
own terms. God reminds them, however, that
He views marriage quite differently. According
to His unchanging purpose, marriage is a
covenant, which is the secret that alone
ensures the success of the marriage rela-
tionship. Once this secret is forgotten or ig-
nored, marriage inevitably loses its sanctity.
With the loss of the sanctity of marriage, it
also loses its strength and stability. Much of
what we see in our contemporary civilization is
closely parallel to the condition of Israel in
Malachi’s day and the root cause is the

same—a wrong View of marriage.
Jesus’ Standard of Marriage

After Malachi, the next and fuller revela-
tion of marriage comes to us through Jesus.
The essence of His teaching on marriage is
contained in a conversation He had with some
Pharisees:
3 And some Pharisees came to Him, testing

Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for any cause at all?”
4 And He answered and said, “Have you
not read, that He who created them from
the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND
FEMALE,
5 and said, ‘FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL
LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND
SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS W'IFE,’ AND THE TWO
SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?
6 “Consequently they are no more two, b u t
one esh. What therefore God has joined
together, let no man separate.”
7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses
command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF
DIVORCE AND SEND HER AWAY?”
8 He said to them, “Because of your hard-
ness of heart, Moses permitted you to di-
vorce your wives; but from the beginning i t
has not been this way.
9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his

wife, except for immorality, and marries
another woman commits adultery.”
(Matthew 19:3-9)
We may sum up the teaching of Jesus in

this passage in four successive statements:
1. The form of marriage that had become

accepted in Israel under Judaism was
below the level of God’s will.
2 . God’s real purpose for marriage was ex—
pressed when He originally created man
and woman.
. In the initial union of man and woman,
they were so perfectly joined together
that they lost their separate identities
and became “one esh.”
. I t is the purpose of Jesus to restore
marriage in the lives of His disciples to
the original standard revealed at crea-
tion.
If we consider the account in Genesis

chapters 1 and 2 of the creation and union of
Adam and Eve, one fact is emphasized
throughout: God Himself was directly and per-
sonally involved. It was His decision, not
Adam’s, that Adam should have a mate; it was
He who formed Eve from Adam; it was He who
presented her to Adam; and it was He who es-

tablished the terms of the covenant relation-
ship in which He united them.
Therefore, it is correct to say that, all
through the Old Testament, marriage was
viewed as a covenant relationship. However,
the concept that developed under Judaism was
on a lower level than that which had found ex-
pression at creation. Under Judaism, the cove-
nant relationship was viewed as being merely
horizontal—between a man and a woman. But
the covenant relationship established at
creation had two dimensions: horizontal
and vertical. Horizontally, it related Adam
and Eve to each other; but vertically, it related
the two of them together to God.
“A Cord of Three Strands”
A passage in Ecclesiastes 4:9—12 expresses

in allegorical terms the difference between
these two levels of marriage:
9 Two are better than one because they have

a good return for their labor.
10 For if either of them falls, the one w i l l
lift up his companion. B u t woe to the one
who falls when there is not another to lift
him up.
11 Furthermore, if two lie down together

they keep warm, but how can one be warm
alone?
12 And if one can overpower him who is
alone, two can resist him. A cord of three
strands is not quickly torn apart.
The principle from which Solomon starts,

“Two are better than one, ” agrees with the rea-
son that God gave originally for providing a
mate for Adam, “It is not good for the man to
be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Solomon goes on to
give three examples that clearly illustrate this
principle: when two are together and one falls,
the other can help him up; if two lie down to-
gether, they keep each other warm; if two are
attacked, together they can drive off the at-
tacker. But the last example that Solomon
gives is different: “A cord of three strands is
not quickly torn apart.” In this case, the
strength is supplied not merely by two to-
gether, but by three together.
We may use Solomon’s pictures to illus-
trate the difference we have observed between
the concept of marriage under Judaism and
the concept of marriage that was initiated by
God Himself at creation. Solomon’s rst three
examples of “two together” illustrate the con-
cept of marriage on the human plane, a hori-
zontal relationship, merely between a man and
a woman. But Solomon’s fourth picture—the

“cord of three strands ”—illustrates marriage
as it was conceived at creation, a binding to-
gether of three persons: a man, a woman, and
God. The relationship between the man and
the woman i s still on the human plane; but
when God is added to the relationship, it in-
troduces a new dimension. He becomes an in-
tegral part of the marriage.
One of the most revolutionary features of
the teaching of Jesus was His standard of
marriage. He refused to settle for anything less
than the original purpose of God. For this rea-
son, Solomon’s picture of “a cord of three
strands” not only illustrates the pattern of
marriage established at creation, it also por-
trays just as accurately the pattern of marriage
for believers today who are united through
their faith in Christ. The three strands are
the man, the woman, and God. The prin-
ciple that binds them inseparably to-
gether is covenant. What Solomon says of a
cord thus formed i s still true today; it “is not
quickly torn apart.”
Some time ago, I was speaking in New
Zealand on this picture of Christian marriage
as “a cord of three strands.” At the end of my
talk, a man came up and introduced himself. “I
am a professional rope maker,” he said. “My
business i s making ropes. I want to tell you
that what you have said is absolutely true in

the practical realm. The strongest rope is a
threefold rope.”
Then he went on to give me the following
explanation: The largest number of strands
that can all touch one another is three. If you
take away one and leave only two, obviously
you weaken the rope. But if you add an extra
strand and make four, you do not add to the
strength of the rope because all the strands no
longer touch one another. If you have a rope of
three strands, one—or even two—of the
strands may be under pressure and start to
fray. But as long as the third strand holds, the
rope will not break.
This rope maker’s explanation made the
picture of Christian marriage as a threefold
cord so vivid for me that I went on meditating
on it for days. In my mind’s eye, I could see the
rope under such tremendous strain that two of
its strands began to fray. But the third strand
remained strong and held out until the strain
was eased and the two frayed strands could be
bound up.
That’s exactly how it is, I said to myself, in
a truly Christian marriage! There come times
of strain when both husband and wife may be-
gin to weaken and feel unable to hold out. But
God Himself is that third strand, and He holds
on until the strain is eased and both husband

and wife can be healed and restored.
In our comparison of Christian marriage
to “a cord of three strands,” we have said that
the principle which intertwines the
strands and holds them together is cove-
nant. Clearly, this makes covenant an essen-
tial element of a successful marriage. And yet,
although covenant is one of the central themes
of biblical revelation, it is very little under-
stood by most Christians today. Therefore, we
will now go on in chapter 2 to examine the na-
ture of covenant as it is revealed in Scripture.
Then in chapter 3, we will explain in practical
terms just how covenant works to unite a man
and a woman in marriage and to hold them
together.
In chapters 4 and 5 , respectively, we will
examine how covenant also serves as the es-
sential binding force in two other vitally im-
portant relationships: between God and the
individual Christian, and between fellow
Christians in their relationship to one another.
Finally, in chapter 6, “The Point of Deci-
sion,” we will give practical direction to those
who feel their need of bringing their personal
relationship into line with the principles ex-
plained in this book.
Chapter 2
The Nature of Covenant
hat is there in a covenant that gives to

marriage a strength and stability not
otherwise possible? What is the essence of
covenant?
The nature of covenant is one of the jeal-
ously guarded secrets of Scripture. It is a
“pearl” which God will not cast to the careless
(see Matthew 7:6). It is something holy which
God will not unveil to the impure. In Psalm
25:14, David says, “The secret of the LORD is
for those who fear Him, and He will make them
know His covenant.” The secret of covenant
must be approached in the reverent fear of
God. It is withheld from those who approach
with any other attitude.
Furthermore, an understanding of cove-
nant requires careful, thorough study of Scrip-
ture. It takes time and concentration. In
Proverbs 2 : 4 , Solomon states that those who
27
desire discernment and understanding must

“seek her as silver, and search for her as for
hidden treasures.” This implies strenuous ef-
fort. Just as the earth does not yield up her
treasures to the supercial observer, so Scrip-
ture yields up the true understanding of cove-
nant only to those who are willing to go below
the surface and to devote time and study to
their search.
I say this by way of introduction to the
study of covenant which we will now under-
take in this chapter. At rst, it may seem
somewhat hard and laborious. But if we pursue
it with patience and diligence, it will ulti-
mately yield up treasures of innite worth.
These will be the subject of the succeeding
chapters.
The Definition of Covenant
There are two basic words in Scripture for

covenant. The Greek word used in the New
Testament is diatheke. The Hebrew word, used
in the Old Testament, is b’rit (or b ’ r i t h ) . This
Hebrew word occurs in the name of the well-
known Jewish organization, B’nai B’rith,
which means, literally, “Sons of Covenant.”
Each of these words—diatheke in Greek and
b’rit in Hebrew—is regularly translated by two
The Nature of Covenant 29
different English words: covenant and testa-

ment. The English word used in each case var-
ies according to the context.
In English, we do not normally think of
covenant and testament as being the same. We
limit the word testament to a legal document
which, as Scripture points out, comes into
force only after the death of the one who made
the testament (see Hebrews 9:16-17). On the
other hand, we do not usually think of a cove-
nant as being necessarily associated with the
death of the parties to the covenant. However,
in the concepts of Scripture, this distinction
between testament and covenant is not valid. In
Scripture a covenant is a testament, and a tes-
tament i s a covenant.
We are all aware, of course, that the Bible
has come to us in the form of two “testaments”
—the Old Testament and the New Testament.
However, our understanding is increased if we
substitute the word covenant for testament in
each case, and speak of the Old Covenant and
the New Covenant. It is a fact of tremendous
signicance that God’s entire written revela-
tion to man is contained in the form of two
covenants. Thus, the concept of covenant
is central to the Whole of divine revela-
tion. If we do not understand the nature of
covenant, how far can we hope to understand
the real meaning of God’s message to us?
What, then, is the meaning of the word

covenant? It is not easy to give a precise and
simple denition. It is suggested that the root
meaning of the Hebrew word b’rit is “to bind,”
but that is not certain. It is certain, however,
that a covenant is binding. The root meaning
of the Greek word diatheke is “to set some-
thing out in order.” It suggests, therefore, the
setting forth of specic terms and conditions.
It has more of a legal association than its He-
brew counterpart b’rit.
In Scripture, we nd two different types of
covenant. One is on the horizontal plane, a
covenant between two human beings. This
more nearly approaches the concept of a con-
tract. For instance, in 1 Kings 5:12, we read
about Solomon making a covenant with Hiram,
the king of Tyre. (The KJV here translates b’rit
with the word “league. ”) By this covenant,
Solomon and Hiram committed themselves to
mutual friendship and established the condi-
tions upon which Hiram would supply Solomon
with material and labor for the building of the
temple.
Although this form of covenant was only
on the human level—between two kings—it is
interesting to note that later on, when God
declared through the prophet Amos that He
would bring judgment on the kingdom of Tyre,
one reason that He gave was that “they did not
remember the covenant of brotherhood”—that

is, the covenant made between Solomon and
Hiram (see Amos 1:9). So we see that, even on
the human level, God considers the breaking of
a covenant a very serious matter and one
which will bring judgment on the guilty party.
Covenant: The Basis of Relationship

—-
However, beyond that, the main use of

covenant in Scripture is not as a contract be-
tween two human beings on the horizontal
plane, but as a relationship sovereignly initi-
ated by God Himself, with man, in which the
two parties are not on the same level. Essen-
tially, a covenant expresses a relationship
which God Himself sovereignly initiates
out of His own choice and decision. He
denes the terms on which He is prepared to
enter into that relationship with man. We need
to emphasize that the initiative is wholly with
God and the terms are set exclusively by God.
Man’s part is simply to respond to God’s offer
of a covenant and to accept the relationship
which that covenant brings with it. Man does
not set the terms nor does he ever initiate the
relationship. You have to be something of a
Presbyterian or a Calvinist to understand this
aspect of covenant. Historically, it is the Cal-
vinist stream of Protestantism that has always
laid special emphasis on covenant. In so doing,

they have preserved a thread of truth which is
very important. I would venture to say that we
cannot fully understand our relationship with
God unless we understand the scriptural con-
cept of covenant.
In the last analysis, every permanent re-
lationship of God with man is based on a cove-
nant. God never enters into a permanent
relationship apart from a covenant. In
Psalm 50:1—5, the psalmist gives a prophetic
preview of the Lord coming in power and glory
at the close of this age to gather His people to
Himself. In so doing, He clearly denes those
whom God will acknowledge as His people.
1 The Mighty One, God, the LORD, has

spoken, and summoned the earth from the
rising of the sun to its setting.
[This is a call to the whole earth.]
2 Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty,
God has shone forth.
3 May our God come and not keep silence;
Fire devours before Him,
And i t is very tempestuous around Him.
[This is a clear prophecy of the coming of
the Lord in power, glory, and judgment]
4 He summons the heavens above,
And the earth, to judge His people:
[This is the judgment of God’s people, be-
fore the judgment seat of Christ—not the
judgment of the unbeliever, but the judg-

ment of the believer. Not the judgment of
condemnati on, but the judgment for re-
ward.]
5 “Gather My godly ones to Me,
Those who have made a covenant with Me
by sacrice.”
[This verse tells us to whom God’s call is
addressed]
— (Psalm 50:1-5)
The Hebrew word here translated “godly

one” is hasid. It is the word that gives us hasi-
dic Judaism—which is the most intense and
dedicated form of orthodox Judaism. A hassid
is a person whose life is totally wrapped up in
God. He is a person who exists only for God.
However, the psalmist here denes the
“godly ones” the true hasidim, as “those who
have made a covenant with Me by sacrifice”
—more literally, “those who out My covenant
on the basis of a sacrice. ” The Hebrew speaks
of “cutting” a covenant, rather than merely
making one. It suggests the action of the knife
that puts the sacrice to death. “My” covenant
means specically the covenant that God Him-
self initiated, the eternal covenant. There is
only one basis on which God makes a cove-
nant—the basis of a sacrice. Without a sacri-
ce, there can b e no covenant.
Years ago, about 1944, when I rst began

to study the Bible in Hebrew, the Holy Spirit
prompted me to do something unusual. I
armed myself with three colored pencils—blue,
green, and red——and I set out to underline
three different themes with a special color for
each. The themes were: covenant, sacrifice,
and shedding of blood. Blue was for covenant,
green for sacrice, and red for the shedding of
blood. In that way, I stumbled into a revelation
because I discovered that wherever I had the
blue, I had the green; and wherever I had the
green, I had the red. In other words, wherever
there i s a covenant, there must b e a sacrice;
and wherever there i s a sacrifice, there must
b e the shedding of blood.
This agrees with the description of G o d ’ s
people in Psalm 50:5: “those who o u t My oove-
nant on the basis of a sacrifice.” Two things are
essential for entering into a permanent rela-
tionship with God: a covenant and a sacrice.
Without a covenant there can b e no rela-
tionship with God; without a sacrifice,
there can be no covenant.
Historically, the way that men entered
into covenant with God before the new cove-
nant in Jesus Christ was very remarkable, and
many people are not familiar with i t . Jeremiah
describes it well. This is a period in Israel’s
history when the nation was backslidden and
rebellious in their relationship to God, and

they had done something God forbade them to
do—they had made slaves out of their fellow
Israelites. When God reproved them for this
through the prophet Jeremiah, they made a
show of repentance and entered into a cove-
nant in which they agreed to release their
slaves. But then, to add to their sin, they broke
their covenant and took the slaves back. The
only part of this incident which concerns us
just now is the procedure by which they en-
tered into the covenant. This has a significance
which goes far beyond this particular moment
in the history of Israel. It is described in
Jeremiah 34:18—20, where God says:
18 “‘And I will give the men who have

transgressed My covenant, who have not
fulfilled the words of the covenant which
they made before Me, when they cut the calf
i n two and passed between its parts—
19 the officials of Judah, and the ofl‘icials of
Jerusalem, the court ofl‘icers, and the
priests, and all the people of the land, who
passed between the parts of the calf—
20 and I will give them into the hand of
their enemies... ’” (Jeremiah 34:18—20)
This provides an important addition to our

understand ing of the process of making a
covenant. Not merely did making a covenant

require a sacrice, but the sacrice had to b e
dealt with in a special way. The animal that
was killed as the sacrice was cut into two
parts, and the two parts were placed Opposite
one another with a space in between. Then the
people who were making the covenant passed
between the two parts of the sacrice. This
was the act by which they entered into the
covenant.
God’s Covenant with Abram
Keeping in mind this procedure for mak-

ing a covenant, we’ll turn to Genesis 15:7—18,
which describes how the Lord entered into a
covenant with Abram (his name had not yet
become Abraham):
7And
He said to him, “I am the LORD who
brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans, to
give you this land to possess i t . ”
8 And he said, “ 0 Lord GOD, how may I
know that I shall possess it?”
9 So He said to him, “Bring Me a three
year old heifer, and a three year old female
goat, and a three year old ram, and a tur-
tledove, and a young pigeon. ”
10 Then he brought all these to Him and
cut them i n two, and laid each half oppo-
site the other; but he did not c u t the birds.
11 And the birds of prey came down upon

the carcasses, and Abram drove them
away.
12 Now when the s u n was going down, a
deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold,
terror and great darkness fell upon him.
”And God said to Abram, “Know for cer-
tain that your descendants will be strang-
ers in a land that is not theirs, where they
will be enslaved and oppressed four hun-
dred years.
14“But I will also judge the nation whom
they will serve; and afterward they will
come out with many possessions.
15“And as for you, you shall go to your fa-
thers in peace, you shall be buried at a
good old age.
16 “Then in the fourth generation they shall
return here, for the iniquity of the Amorite
is not yet complete.”
"And it came about when the sun had set,
that it was very dark, and behold, there
appeared a smoking oven and a aming
torch which passed between these pieces.
18 On that day the Lord made a covenant
with Abram, saying, “To your descendants
I have given this land.. .. ”(Genesis 15: 7—18)
The passage Opens with the Lord making a

promise to Abram that He will give him the
land of Canaan for his possession. Abram re-
sponds with a question: “How may I know... ?”
In reply, the Lord proceeds to make a covenant

with Abram. I n other words, God’s nal com-
mitment to do anything i s in a covenant. When
God has entered into a covenant, there i s no
more that He can do to commit Himself.
Covenant represents final, irrevocable
commitment. Once God has made the cove-
nant with Abram, He no longer speaks in the
future tense. He does not say, “ I will give,” He
says, “I have given.” The covenant has settled
it—nally and forever.
The procedure by which the Lord entered
into the covenant with Abram corresponds ex-
actly to that described in Jeremiah 34:18—20.
Abram had to take the sacrificial animals, kill
them, and divide them into two pieces. Then it
appears that, in due course, the Lord. and
Abram passed between the pieces of the sacri-
fice. By that strange act, the Lord entered into
a covenant commitment with Abram.
Now let us look at some of the details of
this transaction. Every one of them i s illumi-
nating. Verse 11 reads: “And the birds of prey
came down upon the carcasses, and Abram
drove them away.” These words bring back
very vivid memories to m e .
During World War I I , while serving with
the British forces in Egypt, I lay for one full
year sick and in hospital, with a condition
which apparently the doctors were not able to
heal. In desperation, I turned to the Bible to

see what it had to say. Ultimately, after read-
ing the whole Bible through, I came to the
conclusion that God had provided healing for
me through the death of Jesus Christ on the
cross, that it was a part of the covenant God
had made with me through Christ. But as I
sought to lay hold of this truth, my mind was
continually assailed with all sorts of ts of de-
pression, doubt, and darkness.
As I lay there, wrestling to appropriate my
covenant benets in Christ and ghting off
these moods of depression and doubt, I hap-
pened to read this passage in.Genesis chapter
1 5 , and I saw that it was Abram’s job to drive
the birds of prey away. God ordained the sac-
ricial objects, but to keep them intact was
Abram’s job. Likewise, I saw that God had
provided the sacrice in Christ for me, but it
was my job to keep those satanic birds from
preying on the sacrice and robbing me of my
benets. So I saw there was a period in which I
would have to keep driving the birds away. No
matter how many times doubt or unbelief or
fear would attack me, it was my privilege and
my responsibility to keep those sacricial ob-
jects intact. They were not to b e desecrated by
the satanic birds of prey that wanted to feed on
them and take away from my inheritance.
Then it says in verse 12: “Now when the

sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon
Abram; and behold, terror and great darkness
fell upon him.” This was a very profound spiri-
tual experience in which Abram, as a mature,
committed believer, went through “terror and
great darkness.” Does your theology make
room for that? D o you know that some of the
greatest saints of God go through periods of
spiritual darkness? It is not necessarily a mark
of immaturity or weakness to go through
darkness. In fact, God cannot trust the imma-
ture and weak with that kind of experience. He
knows just how much each one of us can en-
dure. Abram did not go through the darkness
because he was weak or uncommitted, but he
went through it because it was part of his total
spiritual experience. His darkness was a'pre-
view of what his descendants were to suffer in
Egypt. As their father, he had to share a meas-
ure of their suffering:
In verses 1 3 through 16, the Lord explains
to Abram what is going to happen to his de-
scendants in Egypt, and how ultimately He
will intervene and deliver them and bring
them back to the land of Canaan. Then in
verse 17, a new dimension i s added to Abram’s
experience: “And i t came about when the sun
had set, that i t was very dark, and behold, there
appeared a smoking oven and a aming torch
which passed between these pieces.” To the

normal darkness of night is added the black-
ness of smoke belching from an oven. Fre-
quently in Scripture, an oven or a furnace
typies intense suffering. In Isaiah 48:10, God
says to Israel: “Behold, I have refined you, but
not as silver: I have tested you in the furnace of
afiction.”
This applies at times to all of God’s people.
If you should ever nd yourself in the furnace,
remember that is where God renes you and
tests you. How you react in the furnace will
determine your destiny. You are not necessar-
ily i n the furnace because you are weak or
backslidden or because you have failed God.
You are in the furnace because the furnace
does things for you that nothing else can do. In
Malachi 3:3, God warns the sons of Levi, His
priests, that He will rene them as gold and
silver are rened. Precious metals are never
puried without intense heat.
In the midst of this overwhelming dark-
ness to which Abram was subjected—a dark-
ness that was both natural and supernatural
—there was “a aming torch which passed be-
tween these pieces” (v. 17). What a depth of
meaning there is in that! The flaming torch
was a manifestation of the Spirit of God, corre-
sponding to “the seven lamps of fire. . . which are
the seven Spirits of God” (Revelation 4:5) that
John saw before the throne in heaven. It was

at this moment—the moment of deepest dark-
ness——that the Lord, in the appearance of the
aming torch, made His commitment to
Abram. He passed between the pieces and, in
so doing, He entered into the covenant.
Let me return again for a moment to my
experience in the hospital in Egypt. It was at
that time of darkness in my own life that the
truth of this incident in Genesis chapter 15
became so vivid to me. I learned that there are
times of utter darkness when the Holy Spirit
will illuminate only one thing, the emblems of
the sacrice, because that is all we need to see.
The sacrice is the emblem of the covenant,
and the covenant is God’s nal, irrevocable
commitment.
You may pass through a time when you
can see nothing but the one fact that Jesus
died for you. That is all you need to know. Eve-
rything is included in that. Romans 8:32 tells
us, “He who did not spare His own Son, b u t
delivered Him up for us all, how will He not
also with Him freely give us all things?” There
are times when that is all you can hold on to. It
is the covenant made in the sacricial death of
the Lord Jesus Christ.
That is how the Lord and Abram entered
into covenant. As I understand it, each passed
in turn between the pieces of the sacrices.
Isn’t it amazing that Almighty God would do

that with a man? It staggers my mind that, in
a certain sense, God would come all the way
down from heaven to pass between those
pieces of slain animals to make His commit-
ment to Abram. I am overwhelmed to realize
that God would go to such lengths to make His
personal commitment to a man.
Valid Only through Death
But why was a sacrifice necessary? Why

was that the only way to enter into a covenant?
The answer i s that the sacrifice symbolized the
death of each party to the covenant. As each
party walked between the pieces of the slain
animal, he was saying, in effect, “That i s my
death. That animal died as my representative.
He died in my place. As I enter into this cove-
nant, I enter by death. Now that I am in cove-
nant, I have no more right to live.” That
explains why both Hebrew and Greek make no
distinction between covenant and testament.
The necessity of death to make a covenant
valid is emphasized in Hebrews:
16 For where a covenant is, there must of

necessity be the death of the one who made
it.
17 For a covenant is valid only when men

are dead, for it is never in force while the
one who made it lives. (Hebrews 9:16—17)
These words leave no room for misunder-

standing. The one who enters into a covenant
enters into it by death. As long as a person re-
mains alive, he is not in covenant. It is impos-
sible to be in covenant and remain alive. The
death of the sacriced animal is physical, but it
symbolizes another form of death for the one
who offers the sacrifice and passes through the
pieces. The one who does this hereby re-
nounces all right, from that moment, to live for
himself. As each party passes through the
pieces of the sacrice, he says, in effect, to the
other: “If need be, I will die for you. From now
on, your interests take precedence over 'my
own. If I have anything you need but cannot
supply, then my supply becomes your supply. I
no longer live for myself; I live for you.”
In God’s sight, this act of making a cove-
nant is no empty ritual. It is a solemn and sa-
cred commitment. If we trace through history
the course of events that resulted from the
Lord’s covenant with Abram, we see that each
party had to make good the commitment which
the covenant represented.
Some years later, when Abram had be-
come Abraham, God said to him: “I want your
son Isaac, your only son. The most precious

thing you have is no longer yours, because you
and I are in covenant. It is m i n e . ” To his eter-
nal credit, Abraham did not falter. He was
willing to offer up even Isaac. Only at the last
moment did the Lord intervene directly from
heaven and stop him from actually slaying his
son (see Genesis chapter 22).
However, that i s not the end of the story.
God had also committed Himself to Abraham.
Two thousand years later God, in His turn,
fulfilled His part of the covenant. To meet the
need of Abraham and his descendants, God of-
fered up His only Son. But this time, there was
no last minute reprieve. On the cross, Jesus
laid down His life as the full price of redemp-
tion for Abraham and all his descendants. That
act was the outcome of the commitment that
God and Abram had made to each other on
that fateful night, two thousand years earlier,
when they passed between those pieces of the
sacrifice. All that followed from then on in the
course of history was determined by their
covenant.
The commitment that i s made in a cove-
nant i s that solemn, that total, and that irrevo-
cable.
Chapter 3
Union between Man

and Woman
I n the first chapter, we saw that marriage on

the highest plane is “a cord of three
strands ”—a covenant among a man, a woman,
and God. In chapter 2, we discovered that a
covenant requires a sacrifice; otherwise it is
not valid. In this chapter, we will apply these
principles specifically to a marriage in which
believers are united through their faith in
Christ.
The sacrifice upon which the covenant of
Christian marriage is based is the death of Je-
sus Christ on our behalf. He is the sacrifice
through which, by faith, a man and a woman
can pass into the relationship of marriage as
God Himself ordained that it should be. Just as
the Lord and Abram passed between the pieces
of the slain animals, so in marriage a man and
47
woman pass through the death of Jesus Christ

on their behalf into a totally new life and a to-
tally new relationship which would have been
impossible without the death of Jesus Christ.
The covenant of Christian marriage is made at
the foot of the cross.
There are three successive phases in the
outworking of this relationship. First, a life is
laid down. Each lays down his life for the
other. The husband looks back at Christ’s
death on the cross and says: “That death was
my death. When I came through the cross, I
died. Now I am no longer living for myself?”
The wife likewise looks at the cross and says
the same: “That death was my death. When I
came through the cross, I died. Now I am no
longer living for myself. ”
Henceforth, each holds nothing back from
the other. Everything the. husband has i s for
the wife. Everything the wife has is for the
husband. No reservations, nothing held back.
It is a merger, not a partnership.
Second, out of that death comes a new life.
Each now lives out that new life in and
through the other. The husband says to the
wife: “My life is in you. I am living out my life
through you. You are the expression of what I
am.” Likewise, the wife says to the husband:
“My life is in you. I am living out my life
Union between Man and Woman 49
through you. You are the expression of what I

am.”
Third, the covenant is consummated by
physical union. This in turn brings forth fruit
which continues the new life that each has
been willing to share with the other. In the
whole realm of living creatures, God has or-
dained this basic principle: Without union,
there can be no fruit. Covenant leads to
shared life and fruitfulness; life that is
not shared remains sterile and fruitless.
This approach to marriage, which sees it
in terms of a covenant, is very different from
the attitude with which most pe0ple today en-
ter into marriage. Basically, the attitude of our
contemporary culture i s , “What can I get?
What is there in this for me?” I believe that
any relationship approached with this attitude
i s doomed to end in failure. The one who ap-
proaches marriage as a covenant does not ask,
“What can I get?” Rather he asks, “What can I
give?” And he goes on to answer his own ques-
tion: “I give my life. I lay it down for you, and
then I nd my new life in you.” This applies
equally to each party—to the husband and to
the wife. To the natural mind, this sounds ri-
diculous. Yet i t is, in fact, the secret of real life,
real happiness, and real love.
In this new relationship, each party has a
special contribution to make. It is noteworthy
that in every passage of the New Testament

which deals with the mutual obligations of
husband and wife, the writer always begins by
explaining the special responsibilities of the
wife. This is true whether the writer b e Peter
( a married man) or Paul (an unmarried m a n ) .
It would seem that, i n some sense, the wife i s
the pivot upon which the whole relationship
turns. Unless she plays her part, there i s no
way that the husband on his own can make the
relationship work. We will begin, therefore, by
looking at the wife’s contribution.
The Wife’s Contribution
I n Proverbs 31:10—31, Solomon paints one

of the most beautiful portraits to b e found
anywhere in the Bible, that of an “excellent
wife.” The King James Version translates this
“a virtuous woman.” Neither translation fully
expresses the force of the original. What Solo-
mon really had in mind, I believe, i s a woman
who knows what it is to b e a woman—a woman
who knows how to make the fullest and richest
expression of her womanhood ; a woman Who
succeeds as a woman.
H e opens his description with a question:
“An excellent wife, who can find?” (v. 10). This
would indicate that such a woman i s rare.
Since I was privileged to share thirty years of

my life with a woman who answered to Solo-
m o n ’ s description, I can never read this pas-
sage without tears of gratitude coming into my
eyes.
It is outside the scope of this book to ex-
amine every detail of the portrait which Solo-
mon paints. But I want to point out one simple
fact which is very significant: the beginning,
the middle, and the end of the picture all focus
on her husband. In other words, the supreme
achievement of an excellent wife is her hus-
band. Everything else she achieves apart from
that is of secondary value. This is how a
woman should measure her achievement as a
wife. She is not living out her own life now.
Her life is in her husband. She sees her success
in him. She rejoices in his achievements more
than in her own.
Notice in verse 1 1 , the first statement
about this excellent wife: “The heart of her
husband trusts i n her, and he w i l l have no lack
of g a i n . ” He does not h a v e . t o go out in the
world and make himself a millionaire to prove
himself. His wife’s approval is sufficient for
him. Many men strive unceasingly for success
in business or other fields primarily out of a
desire to prove themselves. Usually their root
problem is that they never had the assurance
of approval in their own homes—first from
their parents, and later from their wives. Con-

sequently, they go through life with a driving
urge to gain approval and prove themselves.
But a man who has the right kind of wife need
not depend on anyone else for approval. Hers i s
enough. Everybody else may misunderstand
him, and may even betray him, but he knows
there i s one person on whom he can totally
rely. That i s his wife. To b e a wife of this kind
i s a very high achievement for a woman.
The husband’s trust in this “excellent
wife” is based on one simple but vitally impor-
tant fact: “She will do h i m good and not evil
all the days of her life.” For thirty years, I had
that total assurance concerning Lydia. She
would never do me evil. She would disagree
with m e , perhaps admonish m e . We might ar-
gue or hold different opinions. But I always
knew where I stood with her. She was one
hundred percent on my side. Without that, I
could never have become what I am today.
Let us move on now to verse 2 3 , the cen-
tral section of this description: “Her husband
is known i n the gates, when he sits among the
elders of the land.” Again the focus is on her
husband. He is a recognized leader among his
people, sitting in the gate, the place of honor
and authority. Solomon’s language i s so ex-
pressive. “Her husband is known...” In other
words, he i s known as her husband. Without
her support, he would not have been able to

hold the position of honor. This principle holds
true in most cases where we see a successful,
confident, respected man. A great part of what
we are really seeing is his wife’s success.
Then, in verses 2 8 and 2 9 , the description
closes with the focus on her family—first her
children, but finally her husband once more:
28 Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, say-
ing:
29 “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
(Proverbs 31:28-29)
So this description of the “excellent wife”

—the truly successful woman—begins with,
centers i n , and concludes with her husband.
He is her supreme achievement, beside which
every other achievement i s secondary.
What reward does he, on his part, have to
offer her? “He praises her.” How important
that is! Husbands, if you have a wife like this,
there i s no salary that is adequate for her. You
have nothing to pay her with except praise.
And you can afford to b e lavish with that form
of payment because the more you pay, the
more you receive in return. So take time to
praise your wife. Tell her how sweet she is.
Tell her how good her food tastes. Tell her how
much you enjoy seeing the home so clean. Tell
her how pretty she looks. Tell her how much
you love her. Take time to do it. It is a good
investment. You will get back many times over
everything you put i n .
For my part, as I have already indicated, I
can look back over thirty years of happy and
successful marriage with Lydia. I f I have one
major regret, it i s that I did not tell her often
enough how much I loved her. I did love her,
and she knew it. But I did not tell her as often
as I should have. If I could live that part of my
life again, I would tell her ten times as often.
Let us return again for a moment to the
wife’s part. How can a wife achieve this kind of
success with her husband? I would say that she
has two main responsibilities, closely re-
lated to each other. The rst i s to uphold her
husband; the second i s to encourage him.
In 1 Corinthians 11:3, Paul tells us that
“the man [husband] is the head of the woman
[wife].” In the natural body, nal responsibil-
ity for decision and direction rests with the
head. Yet the head cannot hold itself up. It de-
pends upon the rest of the body to do this.
Without the support of the rest of the body,
primarily the neck, the head alone cannot ful-
ll its function.
This applies to the marriage relationship.

As head, the husband has final responsibility
for decision and direction. But he cannot fulfill
this function on his own. He 1s dependent upon
the body to uphold him. In a sense, the wife’s
responsibility may b e likened to that of the
neck. She i s the one closest to her husband, on
whose support he must continually rely. If she
fails to uphold him, there is no way that he can
function as he should. Just as there i s no other
part of the body that can take the place of the
neck in upholding the head, so there is no
other person who can give to the husband the
support that he needs from his wife.
The wife’s second main responsibility is to
encourage her husband. A man should b e able
to look to his wife for encouragement at all
times, particularly when he least deserves it. If
Lydia had only encouraged me when I deserved
i t , i t would not have been what I needed. I
needed encouragement most when I deserved
it the least. I needed somebody who had faith
i n me when no one else did. I didn’t need a
sermon. I didn’t need a counselor. I needed
someone to trust m e .
Encouraging i s not an easy thing for a wife
to do——especially in times of pressure. It i s
much easier to reproach or criticize. I n fact,
encouraging is a ministry that must b e culti-
vated. I believe that many times a wife can
5 6 The Marriage Covenant
transform a bad marriage and an unsuccessful

husband into a good marriage and a successful
husband, if she will learn how to encourage.
But that always means self-denial. We cannot
encourage others when we are primarily inter-
ested in ourselves. I f you and your husband are
both feeling miserable, what are you going to
do? Tell him how miserable you are, or encour-
age him? To encourage him requires self-
denial. But that i s the essence of the marriage
covenant. You are no longer living for yourself.
This brings us back to our starting point:
covenant commitment. This alone can pro-
vide the grace and the power that each party in
a marriage needs to make it successful. Good
advice or a set of rules are not sufficient by
themselves to do this. There are a number of
excellent books available today which offer
counsel and instruction from a Christian view-
point on how to have a successful marriage.
But in the last resort, Christian marriage will
not work without the supernatural grace of
God; and this grace i s received only as husband
and wife yield themselves to God and to one
another in covenant commitment.
The Husband’s Contributio n
Now we will consider the husband’s con-

tribution to the marriage covenant. A good
starting place i s provided by the words of Paul

in 1 Corinthians 11:7: “For a man ought not to
have h i s head covered, since he is the image
and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of
man.”
It i s the closing statement that we are con-
cerned with just now, “the woman [wife] is the
glory of the man [husband].” This simply takes
the same principle that has been applied to the
wife and applies it to the husband as well. We
have already seen that the success of the wife
i s manifested in the husband. Now, Paul tells
us, the wife is the evidence of the husband’s
success. She i s h i s glory, his greatest achieve-
ment. Uniquely and supremely, she is a living
demonstration of the quality of her husband.
A well-known evangelist was once asked
about a fellow believer, “What kind of a Chris-
tian is he?” “I can’t tell you yet,” he replied, “I
haven’t met his wife!” That was a wise answer.
Personally, I would never form an estimate of
a married man until I had come to know his
wife, because she i s his glory. If she is radiant
and restful and secure, her husband has
earned my respect. But if, on the other hand,
she i s frustrated and nervous and insecure, I
have to conclude that there i s some area of
failure in the husband.
This relationship of the wife to her hus-
band as his glory is beautifully illustrated by a
parable from the heavenly bodies: the relation-

ship of the moon to the sun. The moon is the
“glory” of the sun. The moon has no glory of
its own. Its only beauty comes from reecting
the radiance of the sun.
Some years ago, in the NASA center in
Houston, Texas, I had the opportunity to see a
fragment of rock from the moon’s surface that
had been brought back to earth by the astro-
nauts. For a while, I gazed at it in awe. Finally,
I bowed my head in reverent worship of the
Creator as I began to understand the perfect
wisdom of His design. The moon rock is dull
and unattractive in itself. It has no brilliance
or radiance of its own. Yet it is the most highly
reective material that man has yet discov-
ered. Why? The reason, of course, i s that it -was
designed by the Creator for one supreme pur-
pose—to reect the radiance of the sun. This it
will continue to do, so long as nothing comes
between it and the sun. But if some other body
—for example, the earth—comes between the
moon and the sun, the result i s manifested in
the moon. It loses its light.
All this is a parable that illustrates a much
more wonderful work of the Creator’s genius
—the marriage relationship. The wife is like
the moon. She has no glory of her own. Her
function is to reect her husband. When he
shines on her, she glows. But if the full, open
fellowship between them is broken—if some-

thing comes in between—the result is mani-
fested in the wife. She loses her light.
Those of us who are husbands would do
well to check from time to time on our per-
formance in this regard. We should b e ready to
see our wife’s condition as a reection of our
own. We males are often quick to notice some
area of weakness in our wives—even perhaps
to b e unkind or critical about it. Yet it may
well b e that the problem we see so clearly in
our wife is, in reality, but the reection of a
corresponding problem which has gone unrec-
ognized in ourselves.
What should a husband look for in his
wife? What should he accept as evidence that
he is fullling his responsibility toward her? If
I had to answer this question in one word, the
word I would choose would be security. When
a married woman is truly secure—emotionally
secure, financially secure, socially secure—in
most cases that is sufcient evidence that her
relationship with her husband is good and that
he is fullling his obligations toward her. But
if a married woman is subject to frequent or
continuing insecurity, almost invariably this
can be traced to one of two causes: either her
husband is not fullling his obligation to her,
or something has come in between them which
prevents the wife from receiving what her

husband has to give her.
What are the main practical ways in which
a husband should fulll his responsibility to-
ward his wife? I would suggest that they can b e
summed up in two words: to protect and to
provide.
A husband’s primary practical responsibil-
ity is to protect his wife. She should feel se-
cure. She should know that she has a covering.
It is unfair to ask women to take many of the
responsibilities that are thrust upon them to-
day. They may prove to b e very efcient; they
may even outdo men; but they lose their femi-
ninity. In most cases, the true, underlying
cause is that the husband has abdicated from
his responsibility to protect his wife. A .wife
should always know that she has someone to
stand between her and every blow, every at-
tack, every pressure.
A husband’s second practical responsibil-
ity is to provide for his wife. Scripture is very
clear about this. “But if anyone does not pro-
vide for his own, and especially for those of his
household, he has denied the faith, and is
worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).
The word “provide” has a wide application. A
husband should see that there i s no area of
need in his wife for which he has not made
provision—whether the need b e physical or

emotional, cultural or spiritual.
However, one major area in which a hus-
band i s responsible to provide for his wife i s
that of nance. Normally, he should accept full
responsibility for her financial needs. A man
who does not do this when he can will almost
inevitably forfeit some measure of authority in
his home. It is hard to separate the earning of
money from the right to make decisions about
the way the money is spent. But the making of
such decisions should b e a function of head-
ship. If a wife earns as much as, or more than,
her husband, it i s hard for him to retain effec-
tive headship.
We know, of course, that there are excep-
tions to this. There are husbands’who become
incapacitated and unable to work. In such
cases, the responsibility for nancial provision
may fall upon the wife. The marriage vow
makes allowance for such cases as this; it cov-
ers “in sickness” as well as “in health.” How-
ever, it i s wrong when unfortunate exceptions
such as this become the normal rule.
Briey, now, we may sum up the mutual
responsibilities of husband and wife in this
covenant relationship of marriage. The main
responsibilities of the husband are to protect
and to provide. The main responsibilities of the
wife are to uphold and to encourage. However,
the proper fulfillment of these responsibilities

can never be achieved by mere unaided human
effort or willpower. It takes something more
than that; it takes the supernatural,
all-sufficient grace of God. This kind of
grace comes only as husband and wife
together commit themselves to God and
to one another in solemn, covenant rela-
tionship. It is the act of commitment that re-
leases God’s grace.
The outcome of this commitment is a new
kind of life and relationship, one which can
never be experienced by those who have not
first met the conditions. We will go on now to
see what is the distinctive character of this
new life.
Union Leads to Knowing‘
The result of covenant commitment be-

tween a man and a woman can be summed up
in one word: knowing. A man and a woman
come to know each other in a depth and a de-
gree which is not possible in any other way.
The verb “to know” in the original language of
Scripture has a meaning both wider and
deeper than its English counterpart. In Gene-
sis 4:1 (KJV), it says, “And Adam knew Eve his
wife; and she conceived, and bare C a i n . ” (The
New American Standard Bible says, “the man
had relations with his wife Eve.” However, the

King James retains the correct, literal meaning
of the original Hebrew.) This is the rst time
that the word “know” is used in Scripture after
the fall. It is also the rst recorded occasion
that a man and a woman came together in sex-
ual union.
However, the writers of the Old Testa-
ment are very precise and discriminating in
the way in which they use the verb to know to
describe sexual intercourse between a man and
a woman. Wherever a man came together with
a woman in a covenant union which had the
seal of God’s approval, Scripture says that he
“knew” her. But where it was an illicit rela-
tionship, one which God had not endorsed and
did not approve, Scripture says that he “lay
with” her. The implication is that it is possible
for a man to have sexual intercourse with a
woman and yet not to “know” her. I believe
that this is fully borne out in experience. In-
deed, a man may have promiscuous sexual in-
tercourse with fty women, and yet never
“know” one of them.
What, then, is the essential difference
between merely “lying with” a woman and
“knowing” a woman? The answer can be given
in one word: commitment. The essence of
sexual immorality is that a man and a woman
seek physical and emotional satisfaction from
each other, but they have not made a perma-

nent commitment to each other. The pleasure
that they obtain in this way is stolen. They
have not paid the due price for it.
This brings out how much importance God
attaches to commitment. Sexual intercourse
that is not preceded by permanent, mutual
commitment is immorality. Premarital sex is
the fancy title given to it in contemporary soci-
ety. “Fornication” is the blunt word used in
Scripture. On the other hand, sexual union
that is preceded by legitimate, mutual com-
mitment is “marriage.” The difference in
God’s attitude toward these two relationships
is clearly brought out in Hebrews 13:4: “Let
marriage be held in honor among all, and let
the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators
and adulterers God will judge.” In this con-
text, “fornicators” are to be understood as
those who indulge in sexual relationships
without covenant commitment. “Adulterers”
are those who have made a marriage commit-
ment, but then indulge in sexual relationships
that violate their commitment. I n both cases,
the essence of the sin is a wrong attitude to-
ward covenant commitment.
We return to God’s ultimate purpose for
marriage: that a man and a woman come to
know each other. I suppose that the full depth
of this truth can only be appreciated by those
who have been privileged to experience it.

Such knowledge between a man and a woman
is neither temporary nor static. It is not merely
intellectual, as we normally understand knowl-
edge in contemporary terminology, nor is it
merely sexual. It is a total, unreserved opening
up of each personality to the other. It em-
braces every area——physical, emotional, intel-
lectual and spiritual. If the marriage pursues
its God-ordained course, the mutual knowledge
of husband and wife will become fuller and
deeper as the years pass.
It is my personal conviction that the
greatest wonder of all God’s creative achieve-
ment is expressed in human personality. Jesus
taught that one human soul is worth more
than the whole world (see Mark 8:36—37). I
believe this i s a true, objective evaluation. The
whole created universe, in all its grandeur and
greatness, is of less intrinsic worth than one
human personality. The marvel of marriage is
that, through it, two human personalities are
permitted to know each other in all their
uniqueness, permitted to explore the sacred,
innermost depths of each other. But just be-
cause marriage in this sense is so wondrous
and so sacred, God has protected it with His
demand for covenant commitment.
There are countless different facets to the
way in which a man and his wife may come to
know one another. For instance, the very way

in which they look at one another is different
from the way in which they look at other peo-
ple, or other people look at them. One of my
favorite (but unclassied) occupations is
watching a husband and wife when they are
not aware that anyone i s watching them. What
I always look at i s their eyes. (Someone has
said that the eye is the “window of the soul.”)
Give me time to observe the looks that a hus-
band and wife exchange between themselves,
and I will form a pretty accurate estimate of
how successful their marriage is.
A wife has a way of looking at her husband
that tells him almost everything without say-
ing anything in words. For instance, “It’s time
you took care of the kids.” Or, “You shouldn’t
have spent so long talking to that other
woman.” O r , “ I f we go home now, we can have
an hour together by ourselves.” For this rea-
son, Scripture indicates that a married woman
should never permit herself to look at any
other person in the way that she looks at her
husband.
This is very vividly illustrated by an inci-
dent in the life of Abraham. Abraham was a
great man of faith, but he had certain very
human weaknesses. O n two occasions, in order
to save his own life, he was prepared to let his
wife Sarah be taken into the harem of a gentile
king. He was slow to realize that divine destiny

had linked him irrevocably with Sarah and
could never be fullled through any other
woman. Abraham’s weakness in this respect
should serve as a warning to husbands in this
age. In 1 Peter 3:7, Christian husbands are
reminded that their wives are, with them,
“fellow heir[s] of the grace of life.” The phrase
“fellow heir” indicates a joint inheritance, one
which neither party can legally claim apart
from the other. There are areas of God’s in-
heritance for married couples which neither
can enter without the other. These areas are
reserved solely for couples who can move to-
gether in mutual love and harmony. This
principle applies as much to Christian hus-
bands today as it did in Abraham’s relation-
ship to Sarah.
The second of the two occasions on which
Abraham was prepared to part with Sarah was
in the court of Abimelech, king of Gerar (see
Genesis .chapter 20). Abraham persuaded
Sarah to say that she was his sister—which
was true, but not the whole truth—and to con-
ceal the fact that she was also his wife. As a
result, Abimelech took her into his harem, in-
tending to make her his wife. However, God
intervened supernatural ly to preserve Sarah.
I n a dream, He revealed to Abimelech that
Sarah was really Abraham’s wife and warned
him that if he took her, he would pay for it

with his own life. Abimelech, who was appar-
ently a God-fearing man, immediately re-
turned Sarah to Abraham and compensated
him with substantial gifts for the wrong that
he had done.
In conclusion, however, Abimelech ad-
dresses a word of reproof and warning to
Sarah: “And unto Sarah he said, Behold, I
have given thy brother a thousand pieces of sil-
ver: behold, he is to thee a covering of the eyes,
unto all that are with thee, and with all other:
thus she was reproved” (Genesis 20:16 KJV).
We may sum up the essence of Abimelech’s re-
proof to Sarah in this way: “When you are
married, you may never look at another man in
the way that you look at your husband. He is a
covering of the eyes to y o u . ” There is a way in
which a woman opens up her eyes to her hus-
band that is both scriptural and very sacred.
She should never deliberately let any other
man look into her eyes the way her husband
does.
Obviously, there is another side to this:
just as a married woman has no right to look in
this way at a man who i s not her husband, so a
married man has no right to receive such a
look from a woman who is not his wife. To his
credit, it would seem that Abimelech recog-
nized this.
At any rate, this warning given to Sarah

by Abimelech expresses, in a simple but vivid
way, the essence of the relationship into which
a man and woman enter through the covenant
of marriage. Through their covenant commit-
ment to each other, they come to know one an-
other in a way in which neither of them should
ever know any other person and no other per-
son should ever know either of them. The pur-
pose of the marriage covenant is to preserve
this unique and sacred knowledge between
husband and wife and to keep it from being
violated by any other relationship.
Chapter 4
Union with God
he marriage covenant i s not merely sacred

in its own right. It is sacred also because it
typifies other relationships of great spiritual
significance. The first and the most important
of these is the relationship that God desires to
have with His people.
God, the Husband of His People
In various passages of the Old Testament,

God compares His relationship with Israel to
that of a husband with a wife. He traces this
relationship back to the covenant that He
made with Israel at Mount Sinai after He had
delivered them out of Egypt. Thus, God’s rela-
tionship as a husband to Israel, like the human
relationship of a man with his wife, is based on
a covenant that He entered into when He
made them His people. This is clearly brought

out in Jeremiah:
31 “Behold, days are coming, ” declares the

LORD, “when I will make a new covenant
with the house of Israel and with the house
their fathers i n the day I took them by the

hand to bring them o u t of the land of
Egypt, My covenant which they broke, al-
though I was a husband to them, ” declares
the LORD. (Jeremiah 3 1 :31—32)
God says here that when He brought Is-

rael out of Egypt and made a covenant with
them, He entered into the relationship of a
husband to them by that act. However, by_ un-
faithfulness and idolatry, Israel violated their
covenant and forfeited their right to this rela-
tionship with God as their husband. Neverthe—
less, rather than nally rejecting Israel for
their unfaithfulness, God here declares that, at
the close of this age, He will make a new cove-
nant with them, and thus once again become
their husband.
In Hosea 3:1, we again nd God’s relation-
ship with Israel pictured as that of a husband
to his wife: “Then the LORD said to me, ‘Go
again, love a woman who is loved by her hus-
band, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves
Union with God 73
the sons of Israel, though they turn to other

gods and love raisin cakes.’” By his continuing
love for his wife Gomer, in spite of her unfaith-
fulness, the prophet Hosea becomes a type of
God’s continuing love for Israel, as their hus-
band, which does not cease even though they
have been persistently unfaithful on their side
of the relationship.
I n Hosea, as in Jeremiah, there is a pro-
phetic promise that God will eventually bring
Israel back into covenant with Himself and
thereby restore His relationship to them as
their husband. God declares:
“And i t will come about i n that day,” de-

clares the LORD,
“That you will call Me Ishi
[my Husband]
And will no longer call Me Baali
[my Master]. ” (Hosea 2:16)
Then, in Hosea 2:18, God speaks of the

new covenant that He will make with them. In
verses 19 and 2 0 , He pictures the result of this
covenant as the restoration of His marriage
relationship to them:
19“And I will betroth you to Me forever;

Yes, I will betroth you to Me i n
righteousnes s and injustice,
In lovingkindn ess and i n compassion ,
2"
And I will betroth you to Me in faithful—
ness.
Then you will know the Lord.”
(Hosea 2:19-20)
There is special signicance in the closing

statement of verse 20: “Then you will know the
Lord.” We have already seen that, in the natu-
ral, covenant brings a man and a woman into a
union in which they come to know each other
as they never could without such a commit-
ment. Here the principle i s applied to Israel’s
restored relationship to God. Through their
covenant commitment they will come to “know
the Lord” as they have never known Him be-
fore.
Briey, then, we may sum up the Old Tes-
tament picture of God’s relationship to Israel
as follows: The covenant which God made with
Israel at Mount Sinai is viewed as establishing
a marriage relationship between God and Is-
rael, through which He became their husband.
Subsequently, through unfaithfulness and idol-
atry, Israel violated the covenant and forfeited
their right to this relationship. God did not -
nally reject Israel on this account, nor did His
love for them cease. Therefore, His ultimate
purpose is to establish a new covenant with
them through which He will once again enter
into the relationship of a husband to them.
Union with God 75
This new covenant, unlike the first, will be

eternal. It will never be violated. Through it,
Israel will come to know the Lord with a to-
tally new depth of intimacy, such as they have
never hitherto experienced.
The New Testament more fully unveils the
nature of this new covenant. It will b e based
not on the sacrifice of animals, but on the
atoning death of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.
This is the covenant into which all those of
whatever race or background, who acknowl-
edge Jesus as Savior and Lord, have already
entered. Consistent with the pattern already
established in the Old Testament, this new
covenant in Christ is viewed as bringing b e -
lievers into a relationship with God which is
analogous to the marriage relationship be—
tween husband and wife.
In Ephesians 5:25—33, Paul says that
Christ redeems and sanctifies His church in
order that He may present it to Himself as a
bride is presented to her husband, “holy and
blameless.” Paul goes on to apply this truth in
a practical way to the natural relationship be—
tween husband and wife, but he closes by say—
ing: “This mystery is great; but I am speaking
with reference to Christ and the church.” In
other words, the relationship between Christ
and the church i s analogous to that between a
husband and his wife.
One Spirit with God
In First Corinthians , Paul applies this pic-

ture not merely to the relationship of God to
His people as a whole, but also to the relation-
ship that God desires to have with each indi-
vidual believer:
16 Or do you not know that the one who

joins himself to a harlot is one body with
her? For He says, “THE TWO WILL BECOME
ONE FLESH. ”
" B u t the one who joins himself to Lord i s
one spirit with Him.
(1 Corinthians 6:16—17)
As usual with the writers of Scripture,

Paul is very frank. He i s speaking about the
sexual union between a man and a woman. He
says that a man who has sexual relations with
a harlot makes himself one body with her.
Then he goes on to say that a believer can have
a similar kind of union with God in which he
becomes one spirit with God. Plus, the rela-
tionship that God invites each believer to have
with Him is precisely parallel, on the spiritual
plane, to the sexual union which, on the physi-
cal plane, a man may have with a woman.
In the last chapter, we have already seen
the essential difference between the marriage
Union with God 77
union, which is pure and holy, and fornication,

which i s sinful. The difference is that the
marriage union is preceded by mutual cove-
nant commitment on the part of the man and
the woman. In fornication, on the other hand,
a man and a woman seek sexual satisfaction
from each other, without being willing to make
a covenant commitment to each other.
The language Paul uses in 1 Corinthians
6:16—17 clearly justifies us in applying this
principle also to the relationship between God
and the believer. God desires spiritual union
with each believer. At the same time, however,
it is certain that God will never violate His
own laws. He will never b e a party to “spiritual
fornication.” Therefore, union with God in this
sense depends upon, and must b e preceded by,
covenant commitment to God. Until a believer
i s ready to make the total, unreserved com-
mitment to God which covenant requires, he
can never have this full spiritual union with
God which is the purpose of redemption.
Earlier, in examining Psalm 50:5, we saw
how God defines His “godly ones.” They are
those “who cut a covenant with Him on the
basis of a sacrifice.” The lesson is the same as
that of 1 Corinthians 6:16—17. There is no way
to the intimacy of union with God, which is
godliness, except through covenant commit-
ment. Without such commitment, a person can
never truly be a “godly one.” He can never be

truly united with God.
This explains the pathetic condition of
many people in our churches today. They de-
sire a relationship with God. They may even
lay claim to such a relationship. Nevertheless,
their desire is unfullled; their claim is unjus-
tied. The reason is that they have never made
that solemn, unreserved, personal commitment
to God which is the only basis upon which He
will receive them into the relationship that
they desire.
Such persons may indeed have “made a
decision” at an evangelistic campaign. They
may have gone forward in a church and shaken
the pastor by the hand. They may have even
gone through a religious ritual, such as bap-
tism or conrmation. But all these acts—and
many others too numerous to list—are of no
avail unless they bring people into a vital,
committed, covenant relationship with God.
Short of this, there can b e no true intimacy
with God. He does not commit Himself to the
uncommitted.
Life’s Purpose Is Knowing God
For those, however, who are willing to en-

ter into this type of covenant commitment to
Union with God 79
God, the reward is great. It is beautifully ex-

pressed by the words which Jesus addresses to
the Father in John 17:3: “And this is eternal.
life, that they may know Thee, the only true
God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent.” I
once heard a paraphrase which rendered the
verse, “And this is the purpose of eternal life,
that they may know Thee, the only true
God...” Here, indeed, is the ultimate purpose
of all life—to know the one true God. Out of
this knowledge there comes eternal life, divine
life, the life of God Himself, shared with the
believer.
However, knowledge of this kind is not
merely intellectual. It is not merely theology or
doctrine. It is not knowing about God. It is
actually knowing God Himself—knowing
Him directly and intimately; knowing Him as a
Person. It is a person-to-person relationship. It
is a spiritual union.
Knowing God in this way is exactly paral-
lel, on the spiritual plane, to the way in which
a man may come to “know” a woman as his
wife, and a woman may come to “know” a man
as her husband. The use in Scripture of the
same word to describe each type of relationship
is no accident. It reveals the deep, underlying
similarity that exists between the two relation-
ships. I n t h e n a t u r a l , a m a n a n d a w o m a n c a n
never truly “know” one another unless they
rst make an unreserved, covenant commit-

ment to each other. In the spiritual, a believer
can never truly “know” God unless he has rst
made an unreserved, covenant commitment to
God. The same principle applies on each plane:
without covenant there can be no union; and
without commitment there can be no covenant.
Does commitment of this kind sound too
intense for you? Too intimate? Too absolute?
In the last resort, each of us must make his
own decision about this. But let me say that,
for myself, I could never b e interested in some
watered-down, religious substitute for the real
thing. Rather, I echo the words of David:
0 God, Thou art my God; I shall seek Thee

earnestly;
My soul thirsts for Thee, my esh yearns '
for Thee,
In a dry and weary land where there is no
water. (Psalm 63:1)
To the soul that is truly thirsty, there can

be only one source of ultimate satisfaction: it i s
God Himself. To stop at less than true union
with Him is to miss the real purpose of living.
It is to remain forever frustrated, forever un-
fullled.
I n Isaiah 1:22, God tells rebellious, back-
slidden Israel, “Your silver has become dross,
Union with God 81
your drink diluted with water.” The same

could be said to many churches today. Every-
thing has lost its purity, its true character. We
are asked to accept something adulterated and
impure, a counterfeit of the real thing.
In the natural, if somebody were to offer
me wine diluted with water, my response
would be, “Spare yourself the trouble; keep the
whole thing!” But today in the church and in
society, we are mixing everything with water.
We dilute it, we water it down, we lower the
standards. Our silver no longer has its proper
value; our wine no longer has its proper flavor.
In such a spiritual climate, it takes a per-
son of considerable strength of character to
settle for nothing less than God’s best. Such a
person must be willing to say, “Others may do
it the way they please, I will do it God’s way. I
want a real relationship with God. I want a
marriage that works, a home that glorifies
God, children that grow up happy and secure.
Yes, I want these things—and I am willing to
pay the price!”
God has made the price quite clear: it is a
covenant commitment—on the vertical plane,
to God Himself; on the horizontal plane, to our
mates.
Chapter 5
Union with God’s People
n the two preceding chapters, we have seen

that covenant is the indispensable condition
for true union. In chapter 3, we saw how this
principle applies to the union between a man
and a woman, which we call marriage. In chap-
ter 4, we saw how it applies also to the union of
each believer with God, which on the spiritual
plane is analogous to the marriage union. In
this chapter, we will examine how the same
principle applies to yet another relationship of
vital importance: that is, the relationship of
God’s people to one another.
Covenant Makes a “People”
In the Old Testament, we find that from

the time God entered into a covenant with
Abraham, his descendants (through the line of
Isaac and Jacob) were set apart from all other
83
members of the human race. From that time

forth, they were known as “the seed of Abra-
h a m ” ( 2 Chronicles 20:7). However, the out-
working of God’s purpose required that the
covenant b e established a second time, not
with Abraham individually, but with all his
descendants collectively. This took place at
Mount Sinai after the Exodus. Thereafter, they
were designated by a new title in the singular
form: a people (Hebrew ’am). This indicated
that through entering into the covenant they
had become a new, collective unit.
The process by which God entered into His
covenant with Israel is described i n Exodus,
beginning in chapter 19. Here, God declares
the purpose for which He is bringing Israel
into covenant relationship with Himself:
5 “‘Now then, if you will indeed obey My

voice and keep My covenant, then you shall
be My o w n possession among all the peo-
ples, for all the earth is Mine;
6 and you shall be to Me a kingdom of
priests and a holy nation. ”’
(Exodus 19:5—6)
We need to understand that, from then o n ,

Israel was set apart unto God as a special peo-
ple, not by any intrinsic righteousness of their
own, but by the covenant God made with
them. It is important to see that their holiness
Union with God’s People 85
was the outcome of the covenant, not the rea-

son for it. To express this another way: God
did not enter into a covenant with Israel be-
cause they were holy; rather, He made them
holy by entering into a covenant with them.
In our preceding chapter, we saw that on
the basis of this covenant God assumed toward
them the relationship and the responsibility of
a husband. The covenant established a rela-
tionship between God and Israel analogous to
that between a husband and a wife. It gave
them a unique relationship to God in the same
way that marriage gives a woman a unique
relationship to her husband.
However, the only basis on which Israel
had a right to continue in this unique and spe-
cial relationship with God was by remaining
faithful to the covenant. For this reason, God
prefixed the declaration of His purpose for
them by the word if. “If you will indeed obey
My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall
be My own possession among all the peo-
p l e s . . . a n d a holy nation.” Israel’s continuing
unique relationship to God was, therefore,
bound up with their abiding by the terms of
the covenant. For this reason, when Israel
lapsed into idolatry, their prophets frequently
categorized their sin as adultery. It was analo-
gous to that of a wife who had failed to abide
by her marriage commitment to her husband.
From the time that God established this

covenant with Israel, a careful distinction is
made by the Old Testament writers in their
usage of two related Hebrew words: goy (na-
tion) and ’am (people). All nations, including
Israel, are goyim (plural of goy)——“nations.”
But Israel alone is also ’am—a “people.” That
which singles Israel out by this distinctive title
from all other nations is their unique covenant
relationship with God.
In the New Testament, the same distinc-
tion is maintained by the use of two different
Greek words: ethnos (nation), which corre-
sponds to the Hebrew goy, and laos (people),
which corresponds to the Hebrew ’am. The
Greek ethnos, in its plural form ethne, is
translated alternatively “nations” or “gen—
tiles.” It is important to understand that the
word gentiles normally does not refer to people
who are not Christians, but rather refers to
people who are not Israelites.
This analysis of the distinctive words used
both in Hebrew and in Greek for “people” and
“nation” has been necessary to establish one
vital basic principle of Scripture: it takes a
covenant (b’rit) to constitute a people
( ’ a m ) . An ethnic group that has no collective
covenant with God is merely a “nation, ” but an
ethnic group that has a collective covenant
with God is, by that fact, a “people.”
Union with God ’3 People 87
Covenant Relationships:
Vertical and Horizontal
If we turn back once more to the passage

which begins in Exodus chapter 19 where God
enters into a covenant with Israel, we discover
a second, related principle: the same covenant
that brought Israel into a unique relationship
with God also, by that fact, brought them into
a unique relationship with one another. The
main purpose of the following chapters of Exo-
dus (chapters 10 through 23) is to define the
specific, practical ways in which God required
them, from then onward, to relate to one an-
other. As members of one covenant people,
they had special obligations to each other, dif-
ferent from those which they had to members
of other nations who had no covenant relation-
ship either with God or with Israel.
We may state this principle more gener-
ally, as follows: those who have a covenant
relationship with God necessarily also
have a covenant relationship with each
other. The relationships established by a
covenant extend in two directions: vertical and
horizontal. The covenant that brings us into
union vertically with God must of necessity
also bring us into union horizontally with all
who have entered into the same covenant with
God. We have no right to claim the benets of

covenant relationship with God, while at the
same time refusing to accept our obligations
toward those who share the same covenant
with Him. The same covenant that brings in-
dividuals into union with God also brings them
into collective union with one another. It es-
tablishes them collectively as a “people” who
are set apart from all other collective units of
humanity.
These principles concerning covenant es-
tablished in the Old Testament are carried
over, unchanged, into the New Testament.
When Jesus celebrated the Last Supper with
His disciples and shared with them the bread
and the wine, He brought them into a cove-
nant relationship with Himself by that act. Af-
ter He had handed them the cup and told them
all to drink of it, He said, “This is My blood of
the covenant” (Matthew 26:28). They not
merely shared the cup of the covenant with
Him; they also shared it with each other. The
same solemn act that brought each of them
into covenant with Jesus at the same time
brought them all into covenant with one an-
other. From then on, their covenant relation-
ship was not merely vertical, to Jesus; it was
also horizontal, to each other.
This is borne out in 1 Corinthians, where
Paul is explaining the signicance of the
Lord’s supper. He emphasizes this horizontal

relationship between all who partake of the
one loaf and the one cup:
16 Is not the cup of blessing which we bless

a sharing i n the blood of Christ? Is not the
bread which we break a sharing i n the
body of Christ?
17 Since there i s one bread, we who are
many are one body; for we all partake of
the one bread. (1 Corinthians 10:16-17)
Peter also declares that the new covenant

in Christ has the same effect as God’s previous
covenant with Israel: it establishes all who en-
ter into it as a collective “people”:
9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A ROYAL

PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE
FOR GOD’S OWN POSSESSION, that you may
proclaim the excellencies of Him who has
called you out of darkness into His mar-
velous light;
[Peter is quoting the very words spoken by
God to Israel in Exodus 1925—6]
10for you once were NOTA PEOPLE, but now
y o u are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT
RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have
RECEIVED MERCY. (1 Peter 2:5-6)
We have already seen in two cases that

the end purpose of covenant is union. The
purpose of the marriage covenant is to bring a

man and a woman into union with each other.
The purpose of the covenant between God and
the individual believer is to bring the believer
into union with God. This principle applies
with equal force to the third case—the cove-
nant between believers. Its purpose is to bring
all believers into union with each other.
After Jesus had shared the bread and wine
of the New Covenant with His disciples, He
went on to share with them the intimate dis-
course recorded in John chapters 1 4 through
16. This teaching came to its climax with His
high-priestly prayer for them in John chapter
17. This prayer, in turn, culminates with His
plea to the Father that all who believe in Him
“may be one, just as We are o n e ” (John 17:22).
In this context, we understand that this plea
constitutes the outworking of the covenant
which He had established with them earlier
that evening. The end purpose of the covenant
is union of the same nature and quality as that
which exists between the Father and the Son.
Until we, as believers, have come into this
unity, we have not fullled our covenant obli-
gations—either to Christ or to one another.
We have already pointed out that when
God made His covenant with Israel at Mount
Sinai, He immediately explained to the Israel-
ites the obligations which the covenant would
impose upon them in their relationships and

dealings with one another. These obligations
are set out, in specific and practical terms, in
Exodus chapters 20 through 23. In a corre-
sponding way, the New Testament sets forth,
for all who enter into the New Covenant in
Christ, the ways in which they are obligated,
by their covenant commitment, to relate to one
another. It is outside the scope of this book to
examine in detail all the mutual obligations of
believers toward each other. However, we may
form a general picture of these obligations by
picking out phrases such as “each other” or
“one to another” wherever they occur in the
New Testament and listing the various mutual
obligations which are thereby indicated.
All who have entered into the New Cove-
nant in Christ are required to behave in the
following ways toward one another:
0 Wash one another’s feet (John 13:14)

0 Love one another (John 13:14, et al)
0 Build up one another (Romans 14:19)
0 Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
0 Admonish one another (Romans 15:14, et al)
0 Greet one another (Romans 1 6 : 1 6 , et al)
0 Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
0 Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
0 Show forbearance to one another (Ephesians 4:2)
0 Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32)
0 Be subject to one another (Ephesians 5:21)
0 Teach one another (Colossians 3:16)

0 Comfort one another ( 1 Thessalonians 4:18)
0 Encourage one another (Hebrews 3 : 1 3 )
o Stimulate one another to love and good deeds
(Hebrews 10:24)
0 Confess their sins to one another (James 5 : 1 6 )
0 Pray for one another (James 5 : 1 6 )
0 Be hospitable to one another ( 1 Peter 4 : 9 )
0 Be clothed with humility toward one another
( 1 Peter 5:5)
Only insofar as w e , as believers, discharge

these mutual responsibilities toward one an-
other are we fullling the terms of the New
Covenant.
Although the obligations of the New Cove-
nant are stated in somewhat differently from
those of the covenant made at Mount Sinai,
the basic principle is the same: those who en-
ter into a covenant with God are, by that very
act, necessarily brought into covenant with one
another. The obligations of each such covenant
extend in two directions: vertically, between
the covenant people and God; horizontally, b e -
tween the members of the covenant people.
Only Death Validates the Covenant

Another principle which applies univer-
sally in each covenant is that the coveant is
valid only on the basis of the sacrice. This
general principle is stated, as we saw in chap-

ter 2 , in Hebrews:
16 For where a covenant is, there m u s t of

necessity be the death of the one who made
it.
17 For a covenant is valid only when men
are dead, for i t i s never i n force while the
one who made i t lives. (Hebrews 9:16-17)
In the next three verses, the writer of He-

brews applies this principle specifically to the
covenant between God and Israel which was
mediated by Moses at Mount Sinai:
18 Therefore even the first covenant was not

inaugurated without blood.
19 For when every commandment had been
spoken by Moses to all the people according
to the Law, he took the blood of the calves
and the goats, with water and scarlet wool
and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book
itself and all the people,
0 saying, “THIS IS THE BLOOD OF THE
COVENANT WHICH Gov COMMANDED YOU.”
(Hebrews 9:18-20)
In each case, the death of the sacrifice rep-

resented the death of those who entered by it
into the covenant. The animals sacrificed by
Moses merely reminded Israel of the principle
that covenant was valid only through death,

and prefigured a different kind of sacrifice that
had not yet been offered. On the other hand,
the death of Jesus on the cross was substitu-
tionary. He died as the personal representative
of all who were to enter into the covenant with
God through Him. Jesus identified Himself
with each in death, that each in turn might
identify himself with Jesus. As this two-way
identification is worked out through the ongo-
ing commitment of each believer, the death of
Jesus becomes, effectively and experientially,
the death of the believer. This principle is
clearly stated by Paul in Second Corinthians:
14 For the love of Christ controls us, having

concluded this, that one died for all, there-
fore all died; I
15 and He died for all, that they who live
should no longer live for themselves, but
for Him who died and rose again o n their
behalf. (2 Corinthians 5:14—15)
Paul’s conclusion is both clear and logical.

It is summed up in the words, “therefore all
died.” If we accept Christ’s death as our death,
then we must “consider ourselves to be dead”
(Romans 6:11). Therefore, we are no longer
free to live for ourselves. This, too, has a two-
way application: vertically, toward the Lord;
horizontally, toward the Lord’s people. When

the Lord and Abram entered into covenant
with each other, each voluntarily abrogated
the right to live only for himself. Each, by the
“cutting” of the covenant, said, in effect, to the
other: “That is my death. As I enter into this
covenant, I enter by death. Now that I am in
covenant, I have no more right to live.”
The same relationship that was estab-
lished that memorable night, person-to-person,
between the Lord and Abram is reestablished
among all who, through the death of Jesus, are
brought into covenant with each other. Each of
us reaffirms the mutual covenant of which the
Lord and Abram are the prototype, the original
pattern. Each says to the other: “That is my
death. As I enter into this covenant, I enter by
death. Now that I am in covenant, I have no
more right to live.”
In First John, the outworking of the death
which alone makes our covenant valid is ap-
plied by the apostle specifically to our relation-
ship with our fellow believers:
16 We know love by this, that He laid down

His life for us; and we ought to lay down
o u r lives for the brethren.
" B u t whoever has the world’s goods, and
beholds his brother in. need and closes his
heart against him, how does the love of
God abide i n h i m ? (1 John 3:16-17)
The phrase “we ought to” expresses an ob-

ligation—one which we cannot evade if we
claim to be partakers of the same covenant.
When John speaks about laying down our lives,
he is not speaking solely—or even primarily—
about undergoing physical death. He makes
this quite clear, because he applies it to mak-
ing our worldly goods available to our fellow
believers in the next verse. If we are not will-
ing to do this where there is a legitimate need,
then we are not willing to “lay down our lives.”
Laying down our lives means being ready to
share with our covenant brothers and sisters
both what we are and what we have. If we are
not willing to do this, our covenant commit-
ment is not genuine.
The New Lifestyle—Koinonia
In the Greek vocabulary of the New Tes—

tament, one very important word describes the
distinctive lifestyle into which we are initiated
through the New Covenant. It is koinonia. The
noun koinonia is derived from the adjective
koinos (common). Literally and basically, koi-
nonia is “having in common.” Insofar as two or
more persons have things in common, they
have koinonia. If there are any areas where
they do not have things in common, in those
areas they do not have koinonia. It was said of

the early church in Jerusalem, “all things were
common property to them” (Acts 4:32). That
was koinonia.
In the majority of English translations of
the New Testament, koinonia is translated
“fellowship.” However, in some versions it is
not translated by a single English word, but by
a phrase, such as “to be in union with” or “to
share in common life.” Because there is no one
English word which fully expresses its mean-
ings, in this chapter we will continue to use the
word in its Greek form, koinonia.
Koinonia is the outworking of true unity.
The perfect example of koinonia is the rela-
tionship between God the Father and God the
Son. In John 1 0 : 3 0 , Jesus says, “I and the Fa-
ther are one.” This unity between the Father
and the Son is the basis of their koinonia. Its
outworking is described by Jesus in John
16:14—15 where He says of the Holy Spirit, “He
shall take of Mine, and disclose it to you.” But
:hen He immediately explains, “All things that
.‘he Father has are Mine....” In other words,
Jesus says, “All that is Mine I have, not in my
)wn right, but on the basis of My unity with
:he Father.”
In John 17:10, Jesus states the same again
n His prayer to the Father: ”All things that
ire Mine are Thine, and Thine are M i n e . . . ”
This is perfect koinonia—the having of all

things in common.
In this sense, the Gospel is an invitation
from the Father and the Son to all members of
the human race-to share with them the perfect
koinonia that they share with each other. In
1 Corinthians 1:9, Paul says, “God is faithful,
through whom you were called into fellowship
[koinonia] with His Son, Jesus Christ our
Lord.” It is important to distinguish between
“means” and “ends.” So many forms of relig-
ious activity are “means” rather than “ends.”
They are not valuable in themselves, but only
insofar as they enable us to achieve “ends,”
which alone are valuable in themselves. Koi-
nonia, however, i s not merely a “means”—it i s
an end. It is, in fact, the supreme end of all
worthwhile religious activity. '
John likewise declares that the end pur-
pose of the Gospel is to bring all who respond
to its message into the same eternal koinonia
which the Father and the Son enjoy between
themselves:
3 ...what we have seen and heard we pro-

claim to you also, that you also may have
fellowship [koinonia] with us; and indeed
our fellowship [koinonia] is with the Fa-
ther, and with His Son Jesus Christ.
4 And these things we write, so that our joy

may be made complete. (1 John 1:3-4)
“What we have seen and heard” is the

eyewitness testimony of Christ’s apostles, pre-
served for us in the pages of the New Testa-
ment. These verses, therefore, disclose the
central purpose for which God caused the gos-
pel record to be preserved and transmitted. It
is that all who believe and obey may have op-
portunity to share in the perfect, eternal koi-
nonia, which is the lifestyle of heaven.
The Price of Koinonia
However, koinonia is not cheap. There is a

price to pay. The cost is set by two unvary-
ing requirements. The rst is commit-
ment; the second is a way of life that is
:alled “walk[ing] in the light.” ( 1 John 1:7).
Covenant, as we have seen, is the door to
inity. Only those who are willing to make the
:otal, unreserved commitment of a covenant
:an ever come into true unity with each other.
I‘his applies alike in the relationship between
lusband and wife, between the believer and
30d, and between believers in fellowship to-
gether.
Thereafter, this commitment is worked
>ut through walking in the light. John says,
“But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in

the light, we have fellowship [koinonia] with
one another” (1 John 1:7). Walking in the light
is the only way to experience koinonia. Wher-
ever Scripture speaks of koinonia, it acknowl-
edges only one standard—that of God Himself.
It is expressed here by the phrase, “as He
Himself is in the light.” God is willing to lift
humanity up to His own level of koinonia, but
He is not willing to lower the standard of koi-
nonia to that of unredeemed humanity—or
even of backslidden Christendom.
At the same time, the phrase “in the light”
sets boundaries to what may be shared in koi-
nonia. Anything that contravenes divine law in
the realm of morals or ethics is not “ i n the
light.” On the contrary, it is darkness. An ob-
vious example is in the area of sexual relation-
ship. It i s in accordance with divine law for a
husband and wife to have sexual relationship
with each other. This i s fully “in the light.”
But for either of them to have sexual relation-
ship with any other person i s contrary to di-
vine law. It is no longer “in the light.”
Subject to this reservation, however,
walking in the light is a relationship of
total, continuing honesty and openness
between all who are in koinonia. Nothing
may b e hidden or misrepresented or held back.
The essence of the relationship i s the same
whether it is between a husband and wife or

among a group of believers who are committed
to each other. We may sum it up in the words
which we used in chapter 3 to describe the
husband/wife relationship: a total, unreserved
opening up of each personality to the others.
Thus, the limits of koinonia are gov-
erned by two factors: divine law and ab-
solute honesty. Divine law sets the
boundaries; whatever contravenes divine law is
no longer koinonia. It is darkness, not light.
But within those boundaries, the light must be
full and unrestricted. Wherever dishonesty or
insincerity or selfish reservations creep in, the
light begins to dim. Koinonia is no longer on
the divine level.
What shall we say of Christians who seek
fellowship one with another, but are not will-
ing to meet these requirements? Logically, we
must say the same as we would of a man and a
woman who seek a sexual relationship but are
not willing to meet the requirements for mar-
riage. The result which they achieve is not
koinonia, but fornication. This is equally true
whether it be on the physical plane between a
man and a woman, or on the spiritual plane
between Christians who seek a permanent re-
lationship with each other. Those who refuse
God’s requirements are, by His standards,
guilty of fornication. That there is such a thing
as spiritual fornication is attested by the Old

Testament, whose prophets charged Israel
with this very sin repeatedly.
The results of such wrong, uncommitted
relationships between Christians in a group
are very similar to those that develop between
a man and a woman in a wrong sexual rela-
tionship. They are hurt, bitterness, strife, bro-
ken relationships, unfulfilled promises, and
unsatisfied yearnings. When we judge by re-
sults, we are compelled to acknowledge that in
many sections of professing Christendom to-
day, there is little evidence of true koinonia,
but abundant evidence of wholesale spiritual
fornication.
Our purpose in this chapter has been to
set forth as clearly as possible the scriptural
remedy for this tragic situation. It lies in a re-
turn to God’s requirements: covenant com-
mitment that is walked out “in the light.”
Chapter 6
The Point of Decision
In the preceding chapters, we have dealt

with three of the most important relation-
ships there are in life. In order of priority, they
are: our personal relationship with God, our
marital relationship (if we are married), and
our relationship with God’s believing people.
In each of these areas, we have seen the type of
relationship which God has made available to
those who will believe and obey Him.
Perhaps you have come to realize that you
have been living on too low a level in one or
more of these areas. You are ready to move up
to a new level, but you are not sure how to do
it. Let me remind you, therefore, that in every
case you will find that there is one simple but
essential requirement. It is expressed by a
word that we have used many times in this
book: commitment.
103
Commitment to God
Let me speak first about the area of your

personal relationship with God. You may be a
churchgoer, or at least have a church back-
ground. You may be familiar with the accepted
phrases used by religious people. You may ac-
tually have experienced moments of uplift or
inspiration when you knew that God was real.
Alternatively, you may b e a person with no
church background. Although you are not an
adherent of any definite religion, there i s a
hunger in your heart which you long to satisfy.
Or again, you may not belong to either of
these categories. You may have come to this
moment by some unique route of your own.
That really is not the issue just now.‘ What
matters is that you have come to a point where
you long for an intimate, personal relationship
with God—something so deep and real that
you will never again need to question i t . You
are ready, therefore, to make a sincere, whole-
hearted commitment of yourself to God
through Jesus Christ.
The natural way for you to make your
commitment is by prayer. In this way, you give
expression to what is in your heart; in the
process of verbalizing it, you give it content.
You make your commitment specific. A
prayer of this kind is like crossing a bridge. I t
The Point of Decision 105
takes you over into new territory. From this

moment on you will not b e relying on some-
thing vague and undefined in the shadowy
realm of your mind. After praying, you will
know What you are committed to. You will
also know when and Where you made your
commitment. Your ongoing relationship with
God will henceforth have a definite starting
point—something fixed in a time-space world
—a point of decision.
My counsel is that you put the book down
right now and pray! If you feel able to pray in
your own words, then do so. But i f you find
that difficult, here is a prepared prayer that
you may use:
God,
You have put a desire in my heart to
know You in a real and personal way.
Even if I do not fully understand eve-
rything, I believe what the Bible says
about Jesus Christ: that He took my
sins upon Himself, died in my place,
and rose again from the dead. In His
Name, I ask You now to forgive all my
sins and to receive me as Your child.
Sincerely, and with my whole heart, I
commit myself to You—all I am and
all I have. Take me as I am, and make
me what You want me to be. In faith, I
me what You want me to be. In faith, I

believe You do hear this prayer, and
You do receive me. I thank You.
In Jesus’Name, Amen
Once you have prayed your prayer of

commitment, do not begin to reason or specu-
late. In simple faith, take God at His word. He
has promised to receive you if you come to Him
through Jesus Christ. Thank Him, therefore,
that He has done what He promised. Keep on
thanking Him! The more you thank Him, the
more your faith will grow.
From now on, make it your main aim to
cultivate your new relationship with God. This
will give you a simple standard by which to
evaluate the various inuences and activities
in your life. Do they strengthen your relation-
ship with God, or do they weaken it? Make
more and more room for the things which
strengthen it; less and less for those which
weaken it. Specically, there are two ways to
strengthen the relationship which are particu-
larly important.
First, make your commitment known to
those around you. You will not need to be ag-
gressive or to put on religious airs. But as op-
portunities come in the normal course of daily
life, make it known in a quiet, but rm way
that Jesus is now in full control of your life.
Second, set aside a period of each day for

God. Spend part of this period reading your
Bible and part of it praying—that is, talking to
God in a sincere and natural way. In this way,
you will maintain an ongoing two-way commu-
nication with God. As you read your Bible, God
speaks to you. As you pray, you speak to God.
Probably you will not achieve instant
“sainthood”! If you fail from time to time, do
not become discouraged. Simply acknowledge
your failures to God and ask Him to forgive
you. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and
righteous to forgive us o u r sins and to clense u s
from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). If other
people are affected by your failures, you may
need to ask them also for forgiveness. But do
not give up! Remember, commitment is a
two-way street. Not only are you committed to
God; He is also committed to you. And He is
omnipotent!
Commitment to Your Mate
The second area that we have dealt with

—in order of priority—is your relationship to
your mate, husband or wife as the case may be.
(Of course, if you are not married at present
and not expecting to marry, this section does
not directly concern you.)
You may already have been a committed

believer before you read this book. Or again,
you may just have prayed a prayer of commit-
ment after reading the previous section. But
either way, you are now face to face with the
fact that your marriage is not what it ought to
b e . Perhaps you have realized for the rst time
what it could b e . You have come to understand
that. For committed believers, marriage is “a
cord of three strands ”—a covenant between
you, your mate, and God. But it will take your
personal commitment to make the covenant
effective, and thus to release into your mar-
riage the vital element that has hitherto been
missing: the all-sufcient, supernatural grace
of God.
Ideally, you and your mate should both
make the commitment at the same time, to
God and to each other. However, it sometimes
happens that one party is ready before the
other. So if you are ready, but your mate is not,
make your commitment now and trust God to
bring your mate to the same point that you
have already reached—the point of decision.
Then, when that happens, you can renew your
commitment together.
If you feel able to pray in your own words,
do so. Otherwise, here is a prepared prayer
that you may useto make a covenant commit-
ment to your mate before God:
Father God,
I come to You in the Name of Jesus,
my Savior and Lord. I thank You that
You redeemed me through the blood of
Jesus and that I belong to You. I thank
You for my marriage. I thank You for
my mate. At this moment, I want to
commit myself to You, to my marriage,
and to my mate. I am ready, Lord, to
lay down my life and live it out
through my mate, seeking my mate’s
good before my own, rejoicing in my
mate’s blessing and my mate’s success,
counting it as mine, living now in the
life of my mate. Father God, accept this
commitment in the Name of Jesus. Set
the seal of your Holy Spirit upon it.
Bless o u r marriage and o u r home i n a
new way from this day forward.
In Jesus’Name, Amen
In our previous section, “Commitment to

God,” we recommended certain simple steps to
make that commitment effective. For the most
part, the same principles apply to the com-
mitment you have now made to your mate and
to your marriage.
First of all, make sure that your priori-
ties are in right order. Quite probably, this
may necessitate some adjustments. After your
personal relationship to God, the next most

important area of your life is your marriage
and your home. Evaluate your various activi-
ties accordingly. Make more and more room for
those which strengthen your marriage and
your home; less and less for those which have
the opposite effect.
In connection with your personal relation-
ship with God, we pointed out the need to set
aside time to maintain two-way communica-
tions with Him. The same applies to your re-
lationship with your mate. Open, continuing
communication between the two of you is
vital. It will take timcore time, probably,
than you have been giving to it. Remember,
the way you allocate your time is the surest
indication of your real priorities. You may say
that your marriage is important to you, but if
you allow disproportionate amounts of time to
other activities, you are really giving them pri-
ority over your marriage.
Someone coined the saying, “The family
that prays together stays together.” There is a
great deal of truth in it. For thirty years, Lydia
and I prayed and read the Bible together al-
most every day—usually twice a day. Often,
God spoke to us in a very intimate way in these
times of communication with Him and
with each other. They were one of the prin-
ciple factors in the success of our marriage.
Sometimes, I have observed that husband

and wife find it difficult to pray out loud in
each other’s presence. It seems hard to break,
through the “sound barrier.” But work at it!
Be patient with one another. The benefits will
far outweigh any initial embarrassment or
sense of strangeness. When you and your mate
can freely talk to God in each other’s presence,
it is sure proof that God has really become a
member of your family——and that is what He
longs to b e .
One last word on this subject. Never again
rely solely on your own effort and ability to
make your marriage a success. No marriage
can ever be what God intends it to b e apart
from God’s supernatural grace. The com-
mitment you have now made to your mate and
your marriage has made that grace available to
you in a measure that you have never known
before. Avail yourself of it freely! God has told
us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power
is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
God’s grace and power will see you through
every difficulty that arises. If you feel per-
plexed, discouraged, or inadequate, trust God
for an extra measure of grace and power, just
then and there. Expect to see Him work—in
ways, perhaps, you could never have imagined.
Expect to see Him change whatever needs to
be changed——you, your mate, the Whole situa-

tion. He will not fail you.
Commitment to God’s People
The third area of relationship that we

have dealt with in this book is that which we
have called koinonia—the sharing of your life
with God’s people. For true spiritual fulll-
ment you need this kind of relationship. With-
out it, you can never be all that God intends
you to be. This is equally true for single people
and for married couples. All of us need to b e
part of something larger than ourselves.
In 1 Corinthians 12:13—27, Paul compares
individual believers to the various parts that
make up a single body. He explains that , n o
part can function effectively on its own. Each
needs the others. “And the eye cannot say to the
hand, ‘I have no need of you’; or again the head
to the feet, ‘I have no need of you’ ” (v. 21). As
individual believers, we can only achieve true
fulllment and wholeness by entering into a
committed relationship with other believers in
such a way that we can, together with them,
function as a single body.
A relationship of this kind is not optional.
It is essential for our own spiritual well being.
Let us look once more at a verse that has been
quoted earlier: “But if we walk in the light as

He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship
[koinonia] with one another, and the blood of
Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin” ( 1 John
1:7).
The introductory “if” confronts us with
two related facts of spiritual experience. First,
the primary evidence that we are walking in
the light is that we have koinonia with one an-
other. If we do not have this relationship of
koinonia with other believers, it is normally
evidence that we are not walking fully in the
light. Second, if we are not in the light of koi-
nonia, we no longer experience the continuous
cleansing of the blood of Jesus, which alone
can keep us pure and free from sin.
Our responsibility for regular fellowship
with a group of committed believers is stated
again in Hebrews 10:24—25:
24 . . . a n d let us consider how to stimulate

one another to love and good deeds,
25 not forsaking our own assembling to-
gether, as is the habit of some, but encour-
aging one another; and all the more, as
you see the day drawing near.
Here again, we have two related truths:

the rst, we are responsible to stimulate and
encourage one another; the second, we can do
this only if we do not forsake “our own assem-

bling.” This last phrase obviously takes it for
granted that all of us will b e related to a group
that we can properly call “our own assembly.”
The essential step which brings us into
this kind of relationship is the same that
brings us into proper relationship with God or
with our mate. It is commitment—not just to
another individual, however, but to a group
who are themselves united in mutual commit-
ment. If you have already made the first two
commitments dealt with in this chapter—to
God and to your mate—you should follow that
with this third form of commitment—to a
group of fellow believers.
Unfortunately, it is not always easy, in
contemporary Christendom, to find a group
who are practicing real, mutual commitment
on a sound, scriptural basis. However, if you
acknowledge to God your need to identify with
such a group and then go on to seek Him dili-
gently for His direction, you can be condent
that He will show you what to do. Remember
that God has promised to reward those who
seek Him (see Hebrews 11:6). I f you are sin-
cere and earnest in seeking Him, you will re-
ceive your reward.
As a guideline to recognize the kind of
group that will fulfill your need, here are nine
questions you should ask before you make any

definite commitment:
1. Do they honor and uplift the Lord Jesus

Christ?
2 . Do they respect the authority of Scrip-
ture?
. D o they make room for the moving of
the Holy Spirit?
. Do they exhibit a warm and friendly at-
titude?
. D o they seek to work out their faith in
practical day-to-day living?
. Do they build interpersonal relation-
ships among themselves that go beyond
merely attending services?
7. Do they provide pastoral care that em-
braces all your legitimate needs?
8. Are they open to fellowship with other
Christian groups?
9. Do you feel at ease and at home among
them?
If the answer to all or most of these ques-

tions is “yes,” you are getting warm. Continue
to seek God, however, until you receive definite
direction from Him. Remember that you will
not find “the perfect group.” Furthermore,
even if you did, you could not join it, because
after you did, it would no longer be perfect!
Finally, here is a word of encouragement,

but also of warning:
God makes a home for the lonely;

He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell i n a parched
land. (Psalm 68:6)
If you are “lonely, ” God will place you in a

spiritual “home” a family of Christian broth-
ers and sisters united in mutual commitment
to one another. If you are a “prisoner” of cir-
cumstances or evil forces, God will deliver you
and bring you out into freedom. But—and here
is the warning if you are “rebellious,” you
will continue to “dwell in a parched land.”
Ultimately, the only barriers that can keep
you from nding the kind of koinonia you need
will b e your own inner attitudes of pride, self-
ishness, or unyielding individualism. Ask God
to show you if there are any such barriers in
your life and, if they do exist, to break them
down.
In Psalm 27:4, David gives utterance to
the deepest longing of his soul:
One thing I have asked from the LORD,

that I shall seek;
That I may dwell i n the house of the LORD
all the days of my l i f e . . .
Do these words of David express the deep

longing of your soul? If so, Why not echo them
in a prayer of your own?
Once again, if you feel able to pray in your
own words, do that. But if you prefer a pre-
pared prayer, you may use the following:
Lord,
I am lonely and unfulfilled, and I ac-
knowledge it. I long to “dwell in your
house, ”——to be part of a spiritual
“ amily” of committed believers. If
there are any barriers in me, I ask you
to remove them. Guide me to a group
where this longing of mine can be ful-
filled, and help me to make the needed
commitment to them.
In the Name of Jesus, Amen
About the Author
D erek Prince was born in India, of British
parents. He was educated as a scholar of
Greek and Latin at two of Britain’s most fa-
mous educational institutions—Eton College
and Cambridge University. From 1940 to 1949,
he held a Fellowship (equivalent to resident
professorship) in Ancient and Modern Philoso-
phy at King’s College Cambridge. He also
studied Hebrew and Aramaic, both at Cam-
bridge University and at the Hebrew Univer-
sity in Jerusalem. In addition, he speaks a
number of other modern languages.
In the early years of World War I I , while
serving as a hospital attendant with the Brit-
ish Army, Derek Prince experienced a life-
changing encounter with Jesus Christ, con-
cerning which he writes:
Out of this encounter, I formed two

conclusions which I have never since
had reason to change: first, that Jesus
Christ is alive; second, that the Bible is
a true, relevant, up-to-date book. These
two conclusions radically and perma-
nently altered the whole course of my
life.
At the end of World War I I , he remained

where the British Army had placed him—in
Jerusalem. Through his marriage to his rst
wife, Lydia, he became father to the eight
adopted girls in Lydia’s children’s home there.
Together the family saw the rebirth of the
State of Israel in 1 9 4 8 . While serving as educa-
tor in Kenya, Derek and'Lydia adopted their
ninth child, an African baby girl. Lydia died in
1975, and Derek Prince married his present
wife, Ruth, in October 1 9 7 8 . He met his second
wife like his rst, while she was serving the
Lord in Jerusalem. Ruth’s three children bring
Derek Prince’s family to a total of twelve, with
many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Derek Prince’s non-denominational, non-
sectarian approach has opened doors for his
teaching to people from many different racial
and religious backgrounds, and he is interna-
tionally recognized as one of the leading Bible
expositors of our time. His daily radio broad-
cast, Today with Derek Prince, reaches more
than half the globe, including translations into
Arabic, ve Chinese languages (Mandarin,
Amoy, Cantonese, Shanghaiese, Swatow),
120
Mongolian, Russian, Spanish, and Tongan. He
has published more than 30 books which have
been translated into over 50 foreign languages.
Videos of his teaching messages are also now
available in German and many Eastern Euro-
pean languages, as well as subtitled in Hebrew
and Arabic.
Through the Global Outreach Leaders
Program of Derek Prince Ministries, his books
and audio cassettes are sent free of charge to
hundreds of national Christian leaders in the
Third World, Eastern Europe, and the Com-
monwealth of Independent States. Now past
the age of 7 5 , he still travels the world, impart-
ing God’s revealed truth, praying for the sick
and afflicted, and sharing his prophetic insight
into world events in the light of Scripture.
The international base of Derek Prince
Ministries i s located in Fort Lauderdale, Flor-
ida, with branch offices in Australia, Canada,
Germany, Holland, New Zealand, South Africa
and the United Kingdom.

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Unless otherwise indicated.

all Scripture quotations are taken

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are taken fmm the King

Derek Prince Ministries—Intemational

Foreword by Ruth Prince .................................. 7

1. Marriage Is a Covenant ............................... 11

About the Author .......................................... 1 19

her own.* However, she accepted willingly the

* Lydia’s own dramatic story is told by Derek in

During the same period, I was also reﬂect-

and commitment to that part of the body of

s there a secret to a successful marriage?

marriages that have not yet ended in the ﬁnal

of our day—the breakdown of marriage and

little of my own personal background. This

I was educated at two of Britain’s most

which she had founded there. Through my

had always been an open book—not only to our

In Ephesians 5:22—32, Paul explains the

be abundantly blessed in every area of their

’3 “And this i s another thing you do: you

Obviously, Israel’s failure in this respect

Malachi’s day and the root cause is the

Jesus’ Standard of Marriage

3 And some Pharisees came to Him, testing

9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his

We may sum up the teaching of Jesus in

1. The form of marriage that had become

If we consider the account in Genesis

presented her to Adam; and it was He who es-

“A Cord of Three Strands”

A passage in Ecclesiastes 4:9—12 expresses

9 Two are better than one because they have

11 Furthermore, if two lie down together

The principle from which Solomon starts,

a woman. But Solomon’s fourth picture—the

that what you have said is absolutely true in

on until the strain is eased and both husband

The Nature of Covenant

hat is there in a covenant that gives to

desire discernment and understanding must

The Definition of Covenant

There are two basic words in Scripture for

different English words: covenant and testa-

What, then, is the meaning of the word

remember the covenant of brotherhood”—that

Covenant: The Basis of Relationship

However, beyond that, the main use of

laid special emphasis on covenant. In so doing,

1 The Mighty One, God, the LORD, has

judgment of the unbeliever, but the judg-

The Hebrew word here translated “godly

Years ago, about 1944, when I rst began

rebellious in their relationship to God, and

18 “‘And I will give the men who have

This provides an important addition to our

covenant. Not merely did making a covenant

God’s Covenant with Abram

Keeping in mind this procedure for mak-

11 And the birds of prey came down upon