Mentor Guide
Mentor Guide
Mentor Guide
How to become
a mentor?
buddysystem.eu
2020
Welcome,
our dearest new mentor !
You have decided to join the Buddy System
adventure by mentoring an international
student. But do you know what to begin with?
This guide will help you to support your
buddy.1
1 Buddy: your Buddy is the mentee you are matched with, the interna-
tional student you will be mentoring.
INTRODUCTION 3
Conclusion 21
Lexicon 21
Ressources 22
1. What’s a
mentor?
• Get to know your mentee2 ; ease his/her social life. It can be : introduce him
or her to new people, show him/her places where he/she can have fun during
his or her stay in France, inform about several facilities organized by different
organisations (for example : universities, schools, associations, …).
• Contribute to the Buddy System platform: as you fully are a user on the platform,
it is most likely that we will ask you for your feedback about the Buddy System.
Thanks in advance for answering and giving your opinion!
2 Mentee: the mentee is the international student you will be mentoring, you are his/her
mentor and Buddy.
When you subscribed on the platform, you chose to help an international student
therefore to be involved in easing the stay of this person in your country. Here are
basic rules you agree to follow as a mentor.
Your profile fills in you will. You need to fill in information on your
1 profile (hobbies, spoken languages, motivations, etc.) in order to allow
an accurate matching. Otherwise, this matching will be random, and you
may be assigned to someone you don’t have a lot in common with.
3
Your buddy wait for you shall not. You chose to have one or several
buddies. In any case, don’t leave them apart. Contact them as soon as
you can, once you receive an email about a new matching. Also, if your
buddy is troubled with integration or needs a meeting with you, please
answer him/her. He/she is counting on you!
5
Involvement, your keyword will be. Your support may be essential for
your buddy. Honor your involvement, stay available for a few meetings and
tour the city and the campus with him/her (within a reasonable distance).
Your help is very precious and will make your buddy feel welcomed.
6 Culturally adapt you will. You buddy just arrived from abroad: cultural
adaptation is not an easy thing! You’ll stay aware of difficulties your
buddy might encounter. Show empathy to him/her. Some people don’t
need a long time to adapt to their new life, some are less self-reliant.
8 To your BC3 answer you will: Your BC can contact you to follow up
on your mentor’s mission. He/she might also ask you for feedback or
invite you to an event. Although you are being independent in your
mentor’s mission, you are still connected to a group of mentors (and
your university or an ESN association). He/she’s counting on you and will
be encouraged by your contribution!
3 BC- Buddy Coordinator: this is the person that is managing the matching on the plat-
form, and also organising supporting activities for buddies, either in a student association or
within your Higher Education Institution.
It may be difficult for your buddy to arrive in this new country, work on
administrative procedures or get to know places to socialize. As a mentor, it is
important to know about these procedures in order to direct your buddy towards
the right contact people if needed.
Housing:
If your buddy doesn’t have a flat when he/she arrives, you can help him/
her by redirecting him/her to housing websites or Facebook groups.
Phone number:
You can also help him/her find a mobile package (cheap and non-
binding offer) in order to ease his/her communication and connection
to the internet.
Insurance:
Ask your buddy if he/she needs insurance, according to his/her
situation (housing, student life, health, …)
Of course, all of this may be scary, but you can count on the support of your Buddy
Coordinator (ESN’s volunteers’ or university staff).
They will know how to help you in case of any problems. Higher Education Institutions
and/or associations often have booklets about welcoming internationals, like the
“international student survival guide” to help newcomers.
Cultural areas: your buddy may want to see cultural places or attend
cultural events in the city.
What is culture ?
It’s a set of values, representations, knowledge, beliefs, rules, behaviours
transferred and acquired within a group (ethnicity, socio-professional
category,). Culture offers us a “normality” system and point of references.
It helps us understand what actions are expected in several situations.
Culture helps us to determine ways of communication with other members
of the group and to evaluate what is appropriate to do or not (Gratton, 2009).
Your buddy arrives in a cultural environment which can be similar or different from
the environment he/she used to live in any case, he/she will have to learn new
codes. Here are a few keys to understand cultural shock better.
“Internal” culture:
we are not aware of it; it is
rooted in every individual.
It gathers every implicit
knowledge. We learn it from
the moment we are born
and it’s difficult to change it.
This part gives us a sense
of what’s moral or immoral
and how to act in every
situation. It’s norms, values,
beliefs, perceptions. Cultural
misunderstandings often
result from internal culture.
Cultural shock
When your buddy arrives in its new country, he/she faces a new environment with
codes which are different from the ones he/she used to know daily. This ‘meeting’
with a new country is called cultural shock. This phenomenon is acting differently
on everyone, the adaptation period can be quick or last.
If you took part in an intercultural exchange, you already experienced it!
Cultural shock:
it gathers reactions and emotions a person may have, when living in a culture
different than its original one (Mocton University, 2012).
You can experience it in between two cultures, national or regional one. Although
some cultures are close, it is possible to experience cultural shock: A French
person can experience cultural discomfort in Belgium.
Little daily things can be less obvious than usually: like how to say hello or approach
someone, where to buy socks, etc.
Some new habits for your buddy may not be understood. It may lead to
misunderstandings, shock him/her, make him/her feel stupid or unskilled to face a
situation. At that moment, your mentor’s role is essential!
Honeymoon: Everything is attractive, beautiful, fresh and new. Your buddy will
probably want to discover all the city and will probably show spontaneous curiosity
Clues: positive attitude, excitement, curiosity, dynamism
Crisis (or confrontation): it often when routine settles and when lessons at
university begins. Your buddy changes his/her status from a “tourist” to a “resident”.
Losing his/her markers is more and more painful. Uncertaintainty he/she faces
regarding behaviours to adopt is more and more difficult to stand. It becomes
tiring to express himself/herself and hear another language.
Adjustment: adaptation goes on. New cultural codes are internalized, and cultural
norms are automatic. Your buddy feels familiar and finds harmony between its
home culture and the new one.
Clues: motivation, cultural comfort, willingness to learn, cultural exploration.
If your buddy is irritable, it may be because he/she misses his/her home country, or
he/she doesn’t feel at ease in his new country. Here are some advices to help him/
her go through this phase.
Describe local life : in order to minimize nasty surprises and a behaviour gap,
you can take time to tell him/her how life is going on in your town (weather, political
situation, manners, danger in your city, places to discover, meal time, …). You could
also advise him/her on documentaries or websites about your city or region.
Welcome him/her at the train station or set your first meeting: it will be
reassuring for an international student to know a person will welcome him/her
when he/she arrives.
Ease the social environment for your buddy: Involving him/her in student life
is a first step. It will help him/her build friendships. It will also help him/her discover
new people having the same hobbies or experiencing the same situation. You can
introduce him/her to associations (such as ESN), tell him/her about welcome days
or events organized by higher education. Do not hesitate to encourage situations
where he/she can meet local or international students, you can even introduce him/
her to your friends. You buddy may want to find his/her home culture and speak
his/her mother tongue: then introduce him/her to people of his/her own nationality!
Be patient and accept misunderstanding: it will not be all easy at first! Encourage
your buddy to ask questions, there are no silly questions. Some questions may be
obvious to you, but there are not so for everyone! Be benevolent and don’t make
fun about how he/she may comment or act. Do not hesitate to rephrase when you
have a doubt about his/her understanding. You can also directly explain various
daily situations.
If he/she doesn’t respect a cultural code, take time to explain how this is
considered an offense.
Describe local habits and celebrations: you can take time with him/her to
describe local/national celebrations and its meaning.
A sensitive time of the year: celebrations by the end of the year can bring
nostalgia, especially if your buddy cannot go home. Traditions may be different
from one country to another, he/she may miss his/her family or friends more than
usual. You can gather information about events within the city, within associations
or within universities (such as Christmas together, intercultural Christmas, etc…). It
will help not to feel lonely.
You can also support him/her by helping sending postcards to his family, shop for
celebration or cooking a typical dish from your region!
These advices are meant for you to support your buddy at your best.
There’re general advices, but each person has different needs, so just talk about
it with him/her!
• Discrimination: it is a behaviour that denies the fair treatment that any individual
should receive.
The first step is being aware of it! Everyone has preconceived ideas; it is a typical
process of the human brain. However, it is important to understand that they are
not the truth and reconsider your own behaviours and reactions or expectations
toward a person.
You can educate yourself by doing your own research, attending lectures and of
course talking about it with your buddy!
The habits linked to language depend on a deeper level of culture, which is the
reason why when you talk to your buddy in the same language, some conversations
may lead to misunderstandings and quiproquos. You can make the right use of
words but use different ways of communicating them and different gestures from
the person you are talking to, and the message can be completely misunderstood.
Here are some concepts that can help you understand:
Visual contact: Looking at a person right in the eyes when you are talking doesn’t
transmit the same message depending on the country you are in. Indeed, it can
be a sign of honesty and interest, and not doing it could be interpreted as a sign
of a loss of attention. In some cultures, this direct contact can be perceived as
arrogant and aggressive, for example for a person from a higher hierarchy rank.
Reassessing yourself: you can’t assume your behaviour and habits are the
norms universally but are actually rooted and linked to your own culture.
Paying attention to the way you express yourself: don’t use too many local
and traditional expressions or explain them to your
buddy. Speak and articulate clearly, and don’t
hesitate to rephrase what you said, or
ask your buddy if you think something
is misunderstood.
Learning further:
Intercultural dialogue key concept:
https://fr.unesco.org/interculturaldialogue/core-concepts
Here are some pieces of advice to support your mentee even if you can’t directly
meet him/her!
• Your mentee will not physically attend classes, but several online
resources will be provided by his/her welcoming scholar institution.
It is often a bit complicated to navigate and understand websites that are not
translated (most of the time), so your mentee will appreciate you helping him/
her finding and using these online lessons and tools.
• In addition, you can offer you mentee to introduce him/her to all the
online academic resources that will prove necessary to his/her online
scholarship during his/her mobility: creating your student account, access
the agenda, the messaging system, the marks, how to submit an online test, etc.
It is very likely that your mentee doesn’t use the same tools in his/her country
and feels quite lost.
• Also, since he/she will not be physically in the room with the classmates,
he/she will be quite “invisible” as an online student and have difficulties
creating a relationship with the other students! So, help your mentee
by introducing him/her to the class and to the teachers so that everyone can
provide a particular attention and help to him/her when needed.
Since you will not be able to directly communicate and be with your mentee physically,
the intercultural communication will take an even greater meaning, because body
language and facial expressions won’t be a part of your discussions!
Limit the written shortcuts and opt for easy and complete sentences as
much as possible, to facilitate the written understanding of your mentee.
Even though they seem universal, emojis and memes may have several
meanings and levels of understanding, and not be known in every country. Be
cautious when using them, as they don’t always convey a clear message.
Suggest vocal and video discussions with your mentee, when you feel more
comfortable, it will help having more flowing exchanges and create a stronger bond!
This will also help your mentee improving his/her practice of this new language
and you will contribute to this progress.
According to your buddy’s wish, you can welcome him/her at the train
station or airport when he/she arrives. You can also lead him/her to the
place where he will stay temporarily or permanently.
You can also suggest going for a drink in order to get to know each
other better! We strongly advise you to meet in a public place.
Check with him/her his/her itinerary between the flat and campus.
Show him/her around places surrounding his/her flat: where to shop and
go out (cinemas, bars, cafes, museums, …).
Do not hesitate to write a bucket list with your buddy. He/she can list
with you all the stuff he/she wants to see in his/her new country!
You now have all the keys to support your buddy at your best in
his new life!
If you have any question or if you wish to get support for your mentorship, you can
contact:
If there is an ESN association in your city, you can contact ESN’s volunteers by
email or on their Facebook page!
Lexicon
Buddy Coordinator: S-he is the person responsible for linking international and local students.
S-he your contact person in case of any problem, question or feedback. This person will probably
also send you invites to events related to the Buddy System.
Buddy: one of the dui “mentor-mentee”.
Mentor: local student supporting an international student.
Mentee: a student supported by a local student.
Matching: it is how we call the linking of the duo “mentor/mentee” on the platform Buddy System
About interculturality:
A la rencontre de soi et de l’autre, Université de Moncton, 2012 (“Meeting yourself and each
other”):
https://www.umoncton.ca/publications_docs/SAEE-moncton/Adaptation_culturelle/files/assets/
basic-html/index.html#page1
CONTACTS
LUCIE ROMELOT
Welcoming and Inclusion Project
Coordinator
lucie.romelot@ixesn.fr
ESN France
Arsenal 6,
76 BIS Rue de Rennes
75006 PARIS, FRANCE