Lee-Jones, Jasmine - SEVEN METHODS OF KILLING KYLIE JENNER

seven methods of killing kylie jenner
seven methods draft.indd 1 27/06/2019 15:29:34

Jasmine Lee-Jones
seven methods of killing
kylie jenner
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Copyright © Jasmine Lee-Jones, 2019
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10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

PPLDEM
CLEO a.k.a. @INCOGNEGRO on Twitter,

Black* dark(er)-skinned woman, 21
KARA, Black* mixed-race woman, 22
VOICES OF THE TWITTERSPHERE

(I recommend they are voiced and characterised
by the two actors playing CLEO and KARA, but it
might work with more actors)
*Political blackness isn’t a thing, but if it ever was

it certainly isn’t in this play.
This edition of the text went to press before the end of

rehearsal and may differ from the play as performed.

NOTES ON THE TWITTERSPHERE
The tweets seen in the play are merely a cross-section of the

twweets that come about as a result of @INCOGNEGRO’s
methods; they are the ones that affect and encroach upon
their world the most. When CLEO and KARA are embodying
the tweets it is how they imagine them in their heads. This
gives actors the license to go as far as they possibly can in
their imaginations and embodiments. In general, the actors are
welcome to embody and play up to stereotypes, especially
those pertaining to historical racial archetypes of black people
and black wxmen as typified in the gifs. Think digital blackface.
Memes and gifs are part of the world of Twitter and so they
are part of the world of this play. This meme is a good
summation of the whole play and the characters of CLEO
and KARA respectively:
Over the course of the play, the twittersphere begins to infect

and encroach upon their space. Twitter language like LOL, tbh
and wtf should be read out letter-by-letter; both performers
should also find a way to embody and give voice to emojis like
and both on The TL and IRL (even this instruction should
be read out as such ). When the language they are using IRL
ressembles that of the twittersphere, it could be said that CLEO
and KARA are glitching – make of that what you will…

NOTES ON THE ANATOMY
Sections occuring on Twitter are labelled with TWITTERLUDE,

sections occuring in real life are titled IRL.
The Premeditation is a flashforward or teaser and is re-
contextualised in The Post-Mortem.

Big up
Rachel De-Lahay
Somalia Seaton
debbie tucker green
Rajha Shakiry
Jane Fallowfield
Tia Bannon
Danielle Vitalis
Hamish Pirie
Vicky Featherstone
Martin Derbyshire
Jennifer Thomas
Araba Aduah
Grace Akinbode
Jade Anouka
Leah Harvey
Alice Birch
Alistair McDowall
Ellie Fulcher
Ella Saunders
Serena Grasso
Shereen Hamilton
Sylvia Darkwa-Ohemeng
Everyone at the Royal Court
The amazing Milli Bhatia for your bottomless belief,

patience and work during this process
Everyone who made seven methods happen in

some way, shape or form
My family, especially Mum and Dad:

love you to the moon and back
And finally, all the unnamed black womxn and gender-

non conforming people whose spirits and souls have
infused and imbued my life and now my work.
Bless up!

“Now, it is not addressed particularly to white people,
though it does not put you down in any way: it simply
ignores you. For my people need all the inspiration and
love that they can get…”
– To Be Young Gifted and Black,
Nina Simone, Black Gold (1970)
“Thinking ahead of time

Why don’t you spend the night?
I know you love me…”
– Hold On, The Internet (2017)

THE PREMEDITATION
The present.
In the most present sense of the present tense.
5th March 2019.
Early morning. Outside. A park. Dark.
KARA and CLEO drag something resembling a body onto the platform.
They open the traps and throw it in. Cover it with earth. Suddenly they
stop, standing over the body.
Blackout.

1.
The past.
A couple of hours before.
5th March 2019. 4:01AM.
The bird expands and suddenly we are on Twitter.
A few birds are heard tweeting in a tree. Then one sings loud and clear.
Forbes
F @Forbes
At 21, Kylie Jenner becomes the

youngest self-made billionaire ever
#ForbesBillionaires
04:01 AM - 5 Mar 2019
A fracas of retweeting, quote tweeting, liking and following commences. Like

locusts reproducing. Then, breaking through the fracas, @INCOGNEGRO
tweets.
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
YT woman born into rich American

family, somehow against all odds,
manages to get more rich…...
04:15 AM - 5 Mar 2019

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5
YOOOOOO FR WTH is this YT supremacist capitalistic claptrap
masquerading itself as news? Sick + tired of these rich YT women
getting credit monetary and otherwise for teefing our shit!
#wealthisforYTwomen
Mute Unfollow Mute

Let’s keep it real. Kylie has only reached billionaire status by stealing
BW sauce and reselling it to wypipo like the shit’s new - meanwhile
the pay gap for BW in the States + UK continues to widen…
#wealthisforYTwomen
Mute Mute Mute

In summary, errybody and they aunty need to quit fronting like Kylie
killing it! She ain’t killing shit! And tbh if I had it my way the only thing
getting kilt would be that bitch! #kyliejennerfidead
Retweet Like Retweet Like

Yep das right! I said it! Kylie Jenner can gwarn and get deaded!
Retweet Follow Like

And how exactly does one kill a social media figure/entrepeneur or as
I like to term her a con artist - cum - provacateur?
Well there’s a few ways...would you like to hear them?
Like Retweet Like

INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
METHOD #1
#DEATHBYPOISON
Kinda like the temporary lip fillers
that helped you gain
Acclaim
For bringing fuller lips into fashion
04:24 AM - 5 Mar 2019
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
But when Mac instagrammed a

picture of a Black model with lips
of the same width
She was called ugly
Defiled
Reviled
While you are profiled by vogue
Elle
A daily story on snapchat
04:27 AM - 5 Mar 2019

INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
METHOD #2
#DEATHBYSHOOTING
04:32 AM - 5 Mar 2019

Now I’m not talking about shoots of the photo kind
I’m talking about the ones that will get her left behind
In the middle of the road with ten warning shots to her chest
The kind of shoots that will have her name on a sign in a protest

Those type of shoots
Where there’s no time for touch ups
I’ll leave her corpse without a contour
Or highlight
On a roadside
Hands shackled
Rugby tackled

The only magazine spread she will know will be an autopsy report
And the last flash of light she’ll see
Will not be a selfie
But the coroner’s camera
#kyliejennerfidead
Suddenly a figure enters lurking, she creeps on CLEO. It touches her.
KARA: (In a roadman lilt.) Fuck are you on blad!
Suddenly the IRL environment is illuminated and we realise we are

in CLEO’s room. We see both girls in the flesh. Cleo in her inside
clothes - she looks disgusting and magnificent - and Kara in her
outside clothes - she looks casually hawt like she hasn’t tried but
still very peng I can’t lie.

CLEO: Kara?
KARA is creasing.
Fucksake! How many times have I told you you can’t just sneak
into my yard like this?
KARA: How many times have I told you to fix that damn window?
It’s been bruk since we were 17! We do live in ends you know.
Beat.
Ay big man ting why does it smell like crotch in here?
CLEO: Big man ting why couldn’t you just text me if you wanted to
come over like a regular person instead of doing up hoodrat shit.
KARA: Well I would text you but you’ve been airing my whatsapps
consistently for four days now.
CLEO: What are you even doing up at this time?
KARA: Well if you must know, I was at one of my lovers’ houses –
CLEO: Oh lord. Which bitch is it this time?
KARA: Scuse me! Can you not refer to my lovers as bitches please?
I’d much prefer you use the gender non-specific term: tings.
CLEO: Oh my god.
KARA: Anyway so I’m lying there post-nut and I swear to God I felt
my chakras come out of line. It was soooooo visceral like that time
I made spiritual contact with Prince –
CLEO: – you mean when you were high –
KARA: – when I made spiritual contact with Prince… It was like that
but eeeeeeeven stronger cus it was you and you’re living and
you’re my bredrin. I could just feel something was up with you.
Then I rolled over, picked up my phone to bell man only to see you
on a Bin Laden flex on the TL.
CLEO: Oh my days…
KARA: Don’t oh my days me. Wahum with you?

CLEO: Wahum? Wahum? Wahum is I see a wildly incorrect tweet
disgrace my TL alluding to a certain someone born into the
limelight born into instantaneous wealth being categorised as a
self-made billionaire. Self-made…SELF-MADE! She’s about as
self-made as my bed.
KARA: See why couldn’t you just tweet that. A simple intelligent
disagreement with a dose of wit. Like you usually do on that
account. Nuanced. No killings. No knife emojis. Nobody haffi dead.
CLEO: Listen yeah the other day I handed in an essay about the
effects of colonialism on the black female form and I’d been
working on it for weeks night and day! Cited all my sources dem.
And the only reason I got marked down is because my professor
thought my work didn’t show two sides of the argument. Two
sides. To slavery! White people be wilin’.
KARA: Look man I’m just tryna stop you from catching a case.
CLEO: Oh my daze you’re actually so dramatic. I beg you just let me

be vex in peace.
KARA: Let you be vex in peace? Pleeeeeeeeease. That’s an

oxymoron. Moron.
CLEO: Look it’s two two tweets that helped me vent my frustrations.
It’s really not that deep…

TWITTERLUDE 1
Display name
@USERNAME
OMG this bish tryna kill Kylie
04:44 AM - 5 Mar 2019
Retweet
Namenamen @usernaaaame · Mar 5

I bet this is just another angry black bitch hiding behind a
computer screen…
You know what this is really mean? Like what did Kylie do to her
Retweet Quote Like
name1 @userusrnam · Mar 5

So apparently a bitch out here tryna kill KJ WTF OMG OMG OMG OMG
nameiguess! @display! · Mar 5
Report
name123 @userusernamename · Mar 5

RLLY?
user name usernaame @twiTTERUS21 · Mar 5

COME. AGAIN.

1name123 @useruseramename · Mar 5
name usernaame @twiT_TERUS21 · Mar 5

FR….WHET
usernaaaame @abcdefg123 · Mar 5

watisdemeaningofalldisjackie

So now #woketwitter are putting the world on blast on the TL AND IRL too
nameiguess! @display!brepp · Mar 5

I’m dedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Report

YO is @KylieJenner still with us?

1name123 I’m criiiiiiiiiiiiiine. @userusemename · Mar 5
I’m criiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
1name123 I’m ne. @userusemename45 · Mar 5

LOL.
landlord user @landlord_user_1· Mar 5

So is @INCOGNEGRO taking assassination requests or nah???

If so can she add my landlord to her list?
#landlordsfideadtoo

LMAO

.@INCOGNEGRO on the witness stand like
10

1name123 I’m crne. @userusename · Mar 5
SSOBFIJBEIFBJSOD I’m dyinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
1namem ne. @userusemename45 · Mar 5

just like Kylie
landlord user user @landlord_user_1· Mar 5

Truuuuuuuuuuuuuu
name username @twiT_TERUS21 · Mar 5

Assassination plots I thought we left those in the 60’s

Don’t y’all know what season this is? this ain’t winter it’s put a cap in
that ass season

I’m
screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaming
name sernaame @DISPLAYNAMEEEE · Mar 5

Me taking @INCOGNEGRO point srsly until the last few tweets
11

1name123 I’m cne. @useruseme_name · Mar 5
I’m dedddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!

Me too
Retweet Report Like
name username @twi_TERUS21_23 · Mar 5

Kylie when @INCOGNEGRO roll up to her yard
Display User Name @UserName551999 · Mar 5

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Kylie when
@INCOGNEGRO enter the premises
U ready to fucking die!
I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill meh!
Display Name @UserName5519 · Mar 5

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKRT when @INCOGNEGRO
draws for the strap (a la Big Shaq)
The ting go skraaaaa pa pa pa pa pa skiddy dip pa pa and a pum pum
pum pum
1name123 I’m cne. @useruseme_name · Mar 5

OMG I’m weak

.@INCOGNEGRO when she finished the deed
(a la Denzel) KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!
12

landlord user user Name @landlord_user_1_97· Mar 5
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW y’all rlly kno how to make a bitch kiki!
nae sernaame @DISPLAYNAMEEEE · Mar 5

This thread is goooooooooooooooooooooooold FFS
RETWEET
LIKE
FOLLOW
LIKE
REPORT
UNFOLLOW
QUOTE TWEET
OMG
OMG
OMG
13

IRL
KARA kikis a little. Then subsides into total laughter at the tweets.
CLEO: Wooooooooooow. You’re actually kiking at all of this? Cool.
KARA: Come on. That last one was kinda funny still.
CLEO: No it weren’t.
KARA: Yoooooooooo! Do you reckon they’re gonna interview me for

women who kill?
CLEO: Wait…what?
KARA: (Interviewer voice.) When did you know Cleo was…different?
(Own voice.) Well…to be honest the suspicions all started after

what she did to Baby Annabel doll.
CLEO: You think you’re funny don’t you?
KARA: (Hamming it on.) Baby Annabel doll was my favourite doll

growing up. My prized possession…she was like a child to me
and… (Holding back tears.) One day when I left the room to play
an innocent game of hide and seek. I returned to find Cleo had
torn the doll to pieces. And no matter how much I tried…I just
couldn’t put her back together –
CLEO: You really need to stop smoking hash.
KARA: – it was then I knew she had violent instincts towards white
women. As a mixed-race woman myself I often worried she would
turn on me…
CLEO: – okay now you’re taking the piss –
KARA: (Interviewer voice.) As with many serial killers Cleo’s childhood

exploits were merely a simulation of her later crimes. Practise.
Premeditation.
CLEO: Behave.
KARA: Cleo Fuller: The Black Ted Bundy. Every Tuesday on The
Crime Network.
14

CLEO: Alright! Why does everything on the TL have to turn into a joke?
KARA: You’re lucky no one’s taking this seriously.
CLEO: At what point did I indicate I didn’t want people to take this
seriously?
KARA: Oh please! You knew what you were doing when you posted
that tweet. And a whole hashtag too! And I know you wouldn’t be
moving this mad if the account wasn’t anonymous.
CLEO: I’m moving mad? No I’ll tell you what’s moving mad: that
fucking ‘self-made billionaire’ tweet. Don’t you understand?
Inside that tweet is hundreds of years of anti-blackness, positive
affirmations of capitalism, cultural appropriation… In under fifty
characters it colludes in the systematic historical and present-day
dehumanization of the black female body and the buttressing
and idolatry of white womanhood in abusive hegemonic white
infrastructures.
KARA: I’m not gonna lie I don’t understand a word of what you
just said.
CLEO: I said –
KARA: Just speak English, not…dissertation.
CLEO: I’m just saying I read about this shit constantly. Throughout
history. And then I see it now. Black bodies being used, abused
then appropriated by white people. Them profiting off of our pain.
It’s just. It’s just so fucking jarring.
KARA: I mean I hear what you’re saying. But it is just a tweet…
CLEO: Just a tweet? Just a tweet? Just a tweet? Have you been
listening to anything that’s been coming out my mouth?
KARA: Yeah I mean –
CLEO: You know what? Say nada. If you man think that was funny it’s
calm cah I ain’t even finished yet.
KARA: What do you mean you ain’t –
CLEO: See me nuh.
15

TWITTERLUDE 2
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
It seems some of y’all think I’m

fucking around!!! Tht’s calm cah
tbh I ain’t even got started yet...
04:59 - 5 Mar 2019
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
METHOD #3
#DEATHBYDROWNING
I want Kylie to be stuck sunk
Like the 3,000 refugees
Left submerged in the traffic
Of a modern day
Middle passage
Left scrambling
Starving
scratching the surface
For air
Stop her swimming in images of
herself
And her wealth.
05:03 AM - 5 Mar 2019
16

Someones Name
@SOMEONESNAME
Oh shit this bitch acc ain’t finished!

05:04 AM - 5 Mar 2019
Retweet
name sernaame @DISPLAYNAMEEEE · Mar 5

Yep she acc crazy and tht’s the real tea!
Quote Like Follow Like

Mate this is acc v peak tbh

RT @INCOGNEGRO just a salty ass heffa who need to get her own
shit together

Ikr! this whole thread got me feeling like…
Retweet
17

real talk
is any of this rlly tht deep? all kylie done did is inject some fillers into
her lips den make some makeup and sell it...dazzit
Retweet Like

Y is this shit still trending it’s acc getting v boring!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN.

Right! Me opening my TL and still seeing dis a ting like...
Retweet Like

Truss me
Display Name LMAO @UserName5519 · Mar 5

Y’all kno wth dese SJWs are like they love exaggerating they love
controversy
Retweet
18

The is she prolly just want some new followers and we should
prolly just ignore alla dis!!!!!!!
Retweet Report

Agreed @INCOGNEGRO this is acc getting a bit peak

I don’t know why @INCOGNEGRO upset Kylie was born rich Kylie
whole FAMILY rich even they kids already rich and now you saying
you wanna kill her cos of it?!?!?!?!? You know what - y’all SJW
kill ME.
Quote Like

WTF THIS BITCH ACC PRETENDING SHE WANNA KILL KYLIE??? Y
PLS. BUILD AN EMPIRE FOR YASELF AND DEN LET’S TALK
Report Like Follow Like
Displat Name @UserName5519_1998 · Mar 5

Why is @INCOGNEGRO trippin’? Yh she had a bit of wealth but truth
be told the bitch built the empire herself.
Retweet
Not INCONEGRO @displaynameanti · Mar 5

Hey @INCOGNEGRO quick QT can ur freedom struggle extend to
more than deading YT women pls?
Retweet
19

Trust me! Little black boys getting kilt in the streets outchea and this
is the shit you be riding for?
Report
name usernaa @twiT_TERU_S21 · Mar 5

Trust me @INCOGNEGRO
Report
Display User Name @UserName551999 · Mar 5

.@INCOGNEGRO just outchea ignoring real injustices like…
I cannot see I’m legally blind!
Display User N @UserName551999_00 · Mar 5

I for one can’t believe @INCOGNEGRO acting like dis. U ain’t the next
civil rights activist!
Retweet Report Like

Right like BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH THIS AIN’T THE 60’S
20

Tbh MLK’s most probs looking down from heaven like wahum fi dat
gyal deh!
Retweet
landlord user @_landlord_user_1· Mar 5

Truuuuuuuuuuu what would he say to all this shit?
name Namenamen @usernaaaam name e · Mar 5

I have a feeling it would sound something like this… “Darkness cannot
drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.”
21

IRL
KARA: True say I never thought of it like that.
CLEO: You’re still taking the piss…right?
KARA: No…think about it it’s like…a yin and yang ting innit. Two
negative energy forces cannot coexist or move in a forward
direction it’s basic physics.
CLEO: How is telling the truth putting out negativity into the world?
KARA: Well there’s telling the truth and then there’s threatening to kill
people…two semi-different tings…
CLEO: Oh please. You know there’s levels to my shit.
KARA: Yes I do. But all I’m saying to you is think of the ancestors and
how they dealt with tings. Tings that were ten times worse than
this. MLK dealt with tings with dignity. Never exacted the violence
of his oppression on his oppressors.
CLEO: Fuck dignity and fuck MLK! Why is it every time a black person
wants to critique something in a non-palatable way motherfucking
MLK gets brought into the conversation? How am I s’posed to
know what he would have thought of it – that nigga dead! And
even if he was alive to denounce my politics – do you think
I’d care? That nigga was problematic AF! That whole passive
resistance singting? Not for me bredrin. And lest we forget he
banged out cheating on Coretta. Yep. Black men including MLK
been historically trash. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACTS.
KARA: How are you managing to drag #menaretrash into this? You’re
acc wilding sis. You’re in a relationship with a black man fuck!
CLEO: …was.
KARA: Oh lord. You went on a break again?
CLEO: Yes but for real this time.
KARA: (Skeptical.) As in for real for real or –
CLEO: Yes bitch. Really for real. We done.
22

KARA: By done do you mean done done or like…done?
CLEO: Done. Done as in done.
KARA: Are you sure?
CLEO: Yes I’m sure. We’re done. We’re finished.
KARA:
CLEO: Can you stop taking the piss? Yes. We’ve broken up for good.
Because he was…he was cheating on me.
KARA: You’re lyyyyyyyyyying.
CLEO: Yes bitch. I caught his ass redhanded in some next bitches
DMs and then I scrolled through his likes and realised they musta
started following each other June 29th when we were fully out
of linking phase. In fact we were exactly three whole months into
our relationship! And even tho we only just broke up so technically
the bitch just stopped being a sidepiece the bitch is brazenly
commenting shit like ‘see you later zaddy’ underneath his pics!
I’m like have some class bitch! I was there first. I been there.
Have some fucking tact.
Beat.
Not that I’ve been preeing him.
KARA just looks at her like:
23

KARA: What did he say when you confronted him?
CLEO: Some BS about how I basically forced him to fuck her because
I was no longer matching his energy levels. And I was dragging
him down with my weight. Fucking up his chakras or some other
hotep shit.
KARA: You seriously need to change up your choice in men.
CLEO: What? It’s not my fault he was cheating on me.
KARA: No shade sis but this isn’t the first time shit’s ended up this way.
CLEO: Scuse me?
KARA: Come on Cleo. You deffo have a type. They’re always the
same. Tortured fakedeeps. Always artists. Usually musicians or
worse…actors. Nose piercings. Baby dreads. Tattoos of scriptures
from when they used to be Christian. Daddy issues. And the last
two have been Pisces when you know say you’re a Leo so why do
you love off the watersigns? Like venture out bredrin. Diversify to
rass. Stop dating Daniel Caesar rejects.
CLEO: Excuse you…
KARA: I’m being serious. As a homosexual I live out my occasional

heterosexual fantasies through you and you never fail to disappoint.
CLEO: Whatever. All I know is that nigga ain’t shit…and I miss him.
KARA: Just let that man go sis. He doesn’t deserve you.
CLEO: It’s not that…
KARA: Not that what?
CLEO: You wouldn’t understand…
KARA: Try me.
Pause.
CLEO: I’m craving dick.
KARA: Craving dick? (A la Joanne the Scammer.) Never heard of

that…never smelt that…don’t know what that is.
24

CLEO: This is why I don’t feel comfortable sharing with you more
time. This isn’t a friendship free of judgement.
KARA: I’m just joking. I did used to sleep with men you know…
CLEO: Oh please. You ain’t sucked dick since twenty-fifteen.
KARA: Alright! No need to call me out by name.
CLEO: Dick withdrawal symptoms are fully kicking in. And I don’t get
it either cos his dickgame weren’t even all that. It was mediocre
at best.
KARA: Swear? What was his headgame like?
CLEO: …I wouldn’t know…
KARA: This bredda never even ate the box? How is that even a thing?
You straight women are wiiiiiiiiild!
CLEO: I know. I know. But it was like it didn’t even matter because we
were so spiritually connected. Idk what to do…I’m mad conflicted.
KARA: Buy yourself a vibrator like the rest of us and gwarn.
CLEO: I’ve tried that it’s not working.
KARA: Buy new batteries then. Cheapskate.
CLEO: Not my vibrator. Wanking in general.
KARA: (On her own planet.) Is the word wanking gender-neutral?
CLEO: Masturbation! Whatever! Can we get back on topic? I can do it

but I can’t…
KARA: What?
CLEO: You know…
KARA: I know…what?
CLEO: Cum! Alright! I can’t cum!
KARA: You can’t…you’ve never…
CLEO: I mean yeah I have but not of my own accord. On my ones.
25

KARA: Are you being serious?
CLEO: Well I did once but…
KARA: …but what?
CLEO: And this is the tea sis. It’s only cos I was saying his name as I
was doing it. Like I did when we used to beat.
KARA: Hoh. My. GOD. That’s actually mad. I ain’t never heard shit like
that before. He must have put a hex on you or something. Wait.
Ohmygod. How could I forget…he’s Nigerian innit?
CLEO nods mournfully like:
CLEO: And that’s not even the top of the tea sis.
KARA: There’s more?
CLEO: Yep.
KARA: OMG. Spill it please. I’m thirsty.
CLEO: His new ting’s a Klan member.
KARA: Wait…what?
CLEO: She’s from Mount Caucasus.
KARA: Come again.
CLEO: She’s a caucasoid.
KARA: I –
CLEO: Bitch. The bitch is white. She’s white.
KARA: I am fully dead.
26

CLEO: I know I still can’t believe the extent of the fuckery. Cah fam if
I ever showed the girl. If I eeeeeeeeeeeever showed you the girl.
In her DP she’s wearing so much fake tan she looks like a pigeon
in an oil spill. And she has lip fillers. Really big lip fillers. Unnatural
like. And guess what her name is on twitter? @brownsugar_.
Brown Sugar – as in after the D’Angelo song and I know it’s
after the D’Angelo song because every 5 minutes she wants to
be tweeting about how much she looooooooooooooooooves
neo-soul music and trap and bashment and basically anything
black. As if she’s deliberately advertising herself as The Down
White Girl. And the worst thing of all is I can just imagine her
bragging to her little white friends about her new bae’s big black
dick which it’s not in fact it’s a perfectly medium sized-dick which
happens to be black. And not that I’m being dick-discriminatory.
I’m really not. One size fits all. It’s what you do with it that counts.
But as aforementioned his dickgame is whack so in fact all she’s
doing is fetishising him. Colonising his clart. Is he aware of that?
Placing her white flag in his black land. So she can brag to the
other explorers about her newfoundland. Her newfoundland man.
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaam. Dazzit.
KARA deeps shit like:
KARA: Rah. This is fully making sense yah na.
CLEO: Right! I might have to coin that shit!
KARA: Your boyfriend leaves you for a Kylie Jenner reject and then
you start going on a crazy Twitter tirade towards the IRL Kylie.
Okaaaaaaaay.
CLEO: Wait what…that’s seriously your response to all this?
KARA: Well it does explain a lot.
27

CLEO: I’ve been majorly fucked over by some eediat and that’s all you
can think to say?
KARA: Well I –
CLEO: Nah it’s calm! I’ll just get back to my crazy Twitter tirade!
KARA: You are…joking – right?
CLEO: Nope. I’m being for real bitch cus in the words of the high
prophet Cardi B formerly known as Belcalis: ‘I’m a boss, you a
worker bitch, I make bloody moves…’
28

TWITTERLUDE 3
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
METHOD #4
#DEATHBYSKINNING
I want Kylie to be flayed alive
I want her skin to be turned into a
disguise
So I can get inside and don her coil
Her culture as a costume
Mimic her race
And walk around for just a day
In whiteface
05:28 AM - 5 Mar 2019

And the plot thickens...
Retweet
ay Name LMAO @UserNam_e5519 · Mar 5

Ohhhhhhhhh lordt is this bitch incapable of taking a break from a
screeen???
29

I for one am doing just tht! Tired of this BS!
Like Unfollow Like
Display Name @e5519_name · Mar 5

Damn right do this bitch know the definition of chill?
Retweet Unfollow Like
Display Name lol @__5519_name · Mar 5

Maybe @INCOGNEGRO just ill! She prolly just schizo or some shit!
Quote

IONO wtf wrong w her but I for one am tired of hearing this negro
jihadi bullshit
Unfollow

LEWL negro jihadi shit that’s acc peak!!!!!!

ROFL
30

Y’all can kiki all you like but we both know the bitch done took this shit
too far tonight!

I for one say we boycott the bitch #boycottincognegro

Right I’m finna leave this damn thread in the past like…,
Unfollow

Y’all can unfollow her but idc cah I’m still waiting on the next method
in the saga b!
Quote Like Report
A 3’m ne. @userusem · Mar 5

I’m weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak
31

Lewl! I for one am waiting for @INCOGNEGRO to get her comeuppance

Right I bet the bitch is rlly some 48-year-old white man from Ohio
Retweet Follow Like

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa y’all are acc killing me #INCOGNEGROTHEYT
Retweet
Display Name lol @__5519_name · Mar 5

All I know is the TL about to drag @INCOGNEGRO and…. (a la Monique)
I would like to see it!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
RETWEET
QUOTE TWEET
LIKE
UNFOLLOW
LIKE
32

IRL
KARA: I can’t believe this.
CLEO: I know right! They think I’m a forty-eight-year-old white man

from Ohio! The cheek of it! Why is it even now they’re getting
credit for everyting! I actually can’t.
KARA: Nah Cleo what I was gonna say is I can’t believe you’re making
this sooooo deep!
CLEO: Hol’ up. I’m making this deep?
KARA: I’m js you’ve made your point just stop now! Why are you just
continuing to add fuel to fire for no raisin?
CLEO: Wooooooooow. My own bredrin gaslighting me!
KARA: Yooo. Can you stop using polysyllabic words this early in the
morning? I’m gonna have to draw for dictionary.com in a minute.
CLEO: Gaslighting. To manipulate someone via psychological means

into doubting their own sanity.
KARA: Wtf! Manipulate you? I’m just tryna understand all this!
I’m tryna understand you…these methods and ting…killing?
I mean…it’s just a bit…extreme.
CLEO: Extreme? Oh I’m extreme now I’m an extremist!
KARA: No. I. Cleo come on. I’m js. You have certain. Your politics
they’re…radical and –
CLEO: Oh I’m an extremist radical! Maybe I shouldn’t be let out the

house in case I radicalise the youths dem! Maybe the government
should start a special PREVENT Cleo scheme.
33

KARA: You know what Cleo I was wrong. You are crazy.
CLEO: And there it is. Out it comes. From Mrs. Gaslight herself…
KARA: (Going to leave.) You know what? I’m done trying with you
now. I’m going to my yard.
CLEO: Ah. You know what Kara I take it back! I’m…sorry. It’s early
in the morning, my brain’s not working too good and I almost
forgot…you’re a lightie.
KARA: What?
CLEO: You’re a lightie. Periodt. No tampon.
KARA: What does me being lightskinned have to do with the price

of fish?
CLEO: Everyting.
KARA: …I’m not seeing the link.
CLEO: Course you’re not. You see what you’re suffering from is an
acute case of lightie-itis.
KARA: Lightie-i–?
CLEO: Lightie-itis. Primary symptoms include tardiness, laziness and

most importantly in regards to our present predicament: partial
34

blindness. Because when tings are soooo cushty for you, it’s obvs
hard for you to clock how difficult it is for everyone else…
KARA: You do realise you’re chatting out your batty crease right now?
CLEO: Am I? Look around Kara. All the BW considered universally

beautiful are lighties. Lighties with green eyes. Freckles. Racially
ambiguous hunties. Girls who can get into DSTRKT. Girls
who shaku on the beat aswel. Manic pixie mixed girls. The
love interests. All the girls in the music videos. Think about it:
Beyonce, Rihanna, Jorja Smith. Cassie, Aayliah (may she rest
in peace), Ashanti, Amerie! Fuck. It’s like the music industry just
keeps a closet of 100 lighties and when they get bored they just
throw another ten out.
KARA: What does any of that have to do with this situation? Or me for
that matter? I ain’t never had it easy.
CLEO:
KARA: I haven’t.
CLEO:
KARA: Can you stop doing tht? Ffs. It’s actually very annoying.
CLEO: /Mmmmmmmohmygod –
KARA: I said fucking stop! I haven’t had it easy from day and you of
all people should know that –
CLEO: I’m not talking about dem tings deh.
35

KARA: What are you talking about then?
CLEO: Ite so boom: let’s do an empirical analysis of our whole lives.
KARA: Is this a science class or summink?
CLEO: Let’s start with primary –
KARA: Primary? As in primary school?
CLEO: Yes primary. In primary you were generally considered

very peng.
KARA: You’re not serious…
CLEO: I’m not on a paedo ting but you were the first girl in our class
to have a boyfriend, and even Miss Robinson always said how
pretty your hair was, and the only time she came remotely close
to commenting on how nice my hair was, was when my Mum
straightened it for the Year 5 pictures. Then there was secondary –
KARA: Here we go…
CLEO: On the eve of year 7 I suggest we both straighten our hair,

me with Dark and Lovely and you with tongs. It’s a ceremonious
expression of our ascent into adolescence and trying to be peng.
I musta rinsed that ting in and out a good twenty times to get my
hair half as straight as yours! And who gets all the compliments
the next day? You. Weren’t even you’re fucking idea mate.
KARA: You’re moving mad petty rn –
CLEO: No I’m not! Furthermore, throughout our secondary education

we both know every man was on you.
KARA: Well, not every –
CLEO: And you were under every man…
KARA: Wtf does my hoe phase have to do with this?
CLEO: Wtf does ur hoe phase have to do with this? Wtf does ur hoe
phase have to do with this? Ask yourself this: Did I ever have a
hoe phase? No. Why? Not a lightie.
36

KARA: That’s acc not why! It only started in secondary when my
hips came –
CLEO: Bullshit. When your hips came there was a spike –
KARA: – cus before that everyone was calling me marga Kara
CLEO: Mandem only called you that for bants but you and I both
know they were still tryna get you to off-pant.
KARA: Oh and a man wanting to off-pant is the key to black female

liberation…
CLEO: Shut up and let me finish! Cah even before the hips came you
were considered one of the buffest in the borough. Remember
when you dyed your hair blonde and every man and his mum was
commenting hotspice, lahhhhhhh, whosdat underneath the pic like
there was no tomorrow. You had guys drooling at your feet from
before the hips came cos the hips came over year 10 summer and
you dyed ur hair blonde in the summer of year 9. So don’t come
to me with some cack about it was when the hips came cus it just
wasn’t! It just wasn’t okay! And even if hypothetically it might have
been how come even when
I got hips
when I got batty
I was still getting moved less than you?
Answer that for me one time please
???
KARA: I mean –
CLEO: Exxxxxxxxxxxxactly!
KARA: So what Cleo? So what I got moved to by more man possibly

because I was lightskinned?
37

CLEO: It means –
KARA: nuttin. That’s what it means. It means – meant fucking around

with a hundred multiple mandem my whole youth that I didn’t even
fucking like. That I didn’t even wanna be with. Meant pretending
to be someone I’m not half my life. And that wasn’t exactly fucking
breezy Cleo.
CLEO: Oh please.
KARA: Do you think I wanted man to be watching face constantly?

Always moving me just for the sake of it? I never consented to
being someone’s lightskinned fantasy…cus that’s what I was
Cleo. That’s all I was.
CLEO: But you were still desired. I was discarded. Not even fucking
seen to be discarded in the first place. Not even regarded.
Constantly in your shadow.
KARA: Do you know how much I would have given to disappear them
years? To not be looked at like a fucking lightie trophy wife? More
times I’d look at my body in the mirror and feel disgusted. Hate
myself for letting multiple man bore tru me like it was nuttin!
CLEO: I’d rather that than being ostracised all the fucking time.
Blacklisted. Literally. Definition of the word. Do you remember the
typa shit ppl used to call me?
KARA: No actually I don’t
CLEO: Course you don’t, because you have ligh–
KARA: And it’s not because of my lightie-itis or whatever made-up

illness all light-skinned people supposedly have! Because guess
what I am still a fucking black woman! I am still oppressed! I too
know why the caged bird sings! Fuck. You don’t own blackness
Cleo! You don’t own blackness just because you’re dark-skinned!
CLEO: I’m not tryna own blackness. I’m telling my truth and truth be
told throughout my life I’ve been shamed for being in my skin…
in my body…
KARA: What r u talking about?
CLEO: A little thing I like to call #wiggate…
38

KARA: #wiggate?
CLEO: The shubz in Year 12…?
KARA: Oh my god. Don’t drag that into this –
CLEO: After that night. I’ll drag what I want where I like. U kno y?
Because u have no idea of my experience. Well maybe an iota but
not the full-bodied trauma. It’s like you experience racism but it’s
diluted. Like…you’re a cordial or something.
KARA: A cordial?
CLEO: Like a ribena…robinson ting.
KARA: Are you actually being fr right now? Comparing me to Ribena –

you might as well be calling me a half-breed! We might as well be
back in the 60’s! You seem to think your life’s been harder than
mine but guess what Cleo like you said I used to straighten my
hair every morning until it was burnt and damaged within an inch
of its life. So bad that I chose to cut it off. Why? Cus I like you
wanted to be more white and look less black! So why am I now
being @’d in this situation? It makes no fucking sense!
CLEO: Oh of course you’re finding a way to make this about you.

There goes the lightie-itis again.
KARA: I swear to god if you say the word lightie-itis one more time
I am going to explode.
CLEO: L–
KARA: I’m not playing with you.
CLEO: Light–
KARA: I swear down!
CLEO: Lightie-ihhhhhhh/
KARA: If you don’t –
CLEO: /us! Lightie-itus! Lightie-itus! Lightie-itus! Lightie-itus!
KARA: Eurgh you’re so! You’re so fucking jarring!
CLEO: HAAAAAA!
39

KARA: You’re just a troublemaker! This isn’t even about Kylie is it?
CLEO: Yes it is.
KARA: Nah it’s not. You just like creating unnecessary passa.
CLEO: No I’m not I’m just tryna demonstrate the truth. It’s like you’re
Kylie and I’m Jordyn –
KARA: That makes no fucking sense.
CLEO: It does. You know it does. Back in the old days I’d be the field
nigger, out doing manual labour and you’d be in the house ki-king
and beating the master.
KARA: Have you read a single history book? A) We’re not American
so the example you’re using is general as fuck and B) regardless
of where I would have been in the house and where you would
have been in the house, we were still stuck in the same fucking
house!
CLEO: But we’re not the same Kara –
KARA: I know we’re not – and I for one praise Jah for that!
CLEO: You know what if you don’t wanna be involved in my passa as

you call it – maybe we should just dead this friendship entirely!
KARA: Wait. WHAT!?!
CLEO: I’m js.
KARA: BMT why are you behaving like this?
CLEO: BMT why are you talking to me like I’m crazy? Real friends,
how many of us.
KARA: WTF is wrong with you right now! Are you smoking dick or
something? Or is this just a symptom of your dick deprivation?
CLEO: Oh. You think you’re funny now! That’s calm cus I don’t have
to sit around listening to anymore of this rubbish. I have a Twitter
tirade to finish. So hasta la vista, bon voyage, bonsoir and
bye bitch!
40

TWITTERLUDE 4
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
METHOD #5
#DEATHBYIMMOLATION
I want Kylie to be burnt
Skin blackened to a crisp
With the meaningless
Fire emojis left under
Her heavily modified
Cropped
Photoshopped selfies
Can you take a selfie whilst being lit
But like actually lit on fire?
05:44 AM - 5 Mar 2019

This incogNIGGER bitch is only jealous of Kylie bcos of how ugly she was
us a pickaninny....

This just in inCOGNIGGER kept her monkey looks as a teenager too…
A PICTURE OF AN
ADOLESCENT MONKEY
41

Glad to see in adulthood incogNIGGER’s kept her monkey ways
A PICTURE OF A GORILLA
AN IMAGE OF A
BLACK WOMAN
BEING LYNCHED
42

IRL
KARA: Oh my god. This is mad. This is more than mad. This is

maaaaaaaaaaaaad.
CLEO: Calm down.
KARA: Calm down! Calm down! How can I remain calm right now.
KARA begins chanting to soothe herself.
CLEO: What are you doing?
KARA: I’m chanting to bid away the toxicity of this situation.
She carries on with increased intensity.
CLEO: Can you stop doing that it’s acc proper scary.
KARA: Proper racists are threatening to rape and kill you on the TL
and I’m the one you find scary!
CLEO begins to laugh.
Y r u laughing? This isn’t funny.
CLEO: It’s just. You said proper racists…
KARA: You know what I mean! Like redneck racists! Ruh-racists!

Racists with a capital ‘R’!
CLEO: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.
KARA: You need to do something.
CLEO: Like what?
KARA: I don’t know!… Report them! Report them to Twitter!
CLEO: What’s the point? It’s not gonna stop them from making
another account. And another one, and… (Repeatedly.)
43

KARA: How are you making jokes out of this rn?
CLEO: Cus this shit’s happened to me before. It’s calm.
KARA: What? But it’s not right. It’s. It’s. It’s another level. It’s overt
now. This ain’t even a joke ting anymore.
CLEO: Well if it’s bothering you that much why don’t u report it? Or
better yet why don’t you @ them yourself?
KARA: Wait what…
CLEO: Since all of a sudden you seem to be sooooo outraged about

how I’m being treated on the TL.
KARA: Wait why are you turning this back on me? I was the one who
told you to slow your roll in the first place and you carried on
tweeting. All of this could have been prevented if you just listened
to me.
CLEO: Oh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I wouldn’t let Captain
Kara the light-skinned saviour save the day again! I’m sorry.
Maybe you could try actually doing something and @ them
yourselves! Go on! Tell the ‘proper’ racists wagwarn.
KARA: Why would I tweet them when I didn’t start any of this?
You instigating it is your business.
CLEO: Ohhhhhhhh. I see! It’s happening to me not you and so it’s not
your business. I get it now. I get it. Yk what this reminds me of
soooooo much? #wiggate.
KARA: (A la Grand Theft Auto.) Ow shit here we go again! How many

times are you gonna bring this up!
44

CLEO: As many times as I like cus u still ain’t apologised. Not properly
anyway.
KARA: We were 16 Cleo can you make like Elsa and let it go! Ffs.
CLEO: U don’t get to decide when I let something go.
KARA: Wtf! U can’t just live with shit! Ur clearly not over it so let’s
hash it out! Let’s talk about… #wiggate or wotever it is you wanna
call it.
CLEO: Why is it always you deciding when we get to speak about

something
KARA: OMDS ur sooooooooooooooooooooo long. Just talk! FFS!
CLEO: I’ll decide when I’m ready to speak.
KARA:
Long fucking silence.
KARA and CLEO look like two cowboys getting ready for a duel.
Think Tombstone or Unforgiven or some other country and western
type shit. They are about to fight to the death.
A tumbleweave may cross the stage.
CLEO: I’m ready now.

Fuckery number #1:
I didn’t even wanna go to tht shubz in the first place
KARA is taking the piss out of CLEO, either making faces as she
speaks or miming along with her speech with her hand like a puppet.
What are you doing?
KARA: Nothing.
45

CLEO: Fuckery number #2
We were meant to meet at 9
KARA: 30.
CLEO: 9.
KARA: KMT.
CLEO: Anyways ur black ass or should I say half-black ass decides to

rock up at 10.
Like say the time we planned to meet was a suggestion!
The time we plan to meet is not a guideline.
KARA: I was busy that day I had shit to do.
CLEO: What?
KARA: IDK this was 5, 6 years ago

#wheniwasstraight
So I was most probs linking my ting at the time which was Andre
Who got us into the party anyway
So that’s why I was late
Cos I was linking the person who was gonna get us into the party
So no need to say ty ur welcome.
CLEO: Don’t. Even. TRY IT!

If that was the plan all along then why did you tell me 9 and get
there at 10?
Ah eediat ting!
10 on the dot.
Like you knew you were gonna be late
Like it was something you pre-planned, to pre-emptively fuck with
the timings.
A pre-empted fuckery.
KARA: …Sorry?
Sorry for being late 5 years ago...
CLEO: Hold your sorries until fuckery #4 pls and thanku

Fuckery #3
U told me tht this party was gonna b calm
46

That it was for yungas only
And there wasn’t gonna b no funny business
So tell me why when we get there there’s hotboxes everywhere
Nah scratch that
Just one massive marijuana cloud clogging up everyone’s windpipes
And drink everywhere
14 year olds wining up on 40 year olds
KARA: You looooooooooooooove exaggerating
CLEO: Fuckery #4
So we’re in the shubz and this man grabs me by the waist and
starts daggering me
Ur in the corner kiki-ing as if all of this is a joketing
When you knooooooooow say –
KARA: You didn’t even wanna be there in the first place

Yes.
I know.
FFS
STOP MENTIONING IT!
CLEO: And I’m tryna push this guy off

Cus I didn’t consent to his crotch area being near my crotch area
Simulating you know what
KARA: EYE EMOJI
CLEO: But what do you kno?

He doesn’t fucking listen
They never fucking listen
Do they?
And I say no
But he keeps trying it anyway
Then he gets vile
Violent with his words
“Ur butters anyway look at u fam ur blick”
And all his boys start laughing
And then another one’s like
47

“LOOOOOOOOOOOL look at her droplip”
as I’m tryna get out
Get to the door
One of them grabs my wig
And it falls clean onto the floor
All I remember is bare laughter
Everyone creasing
Crying
Camera’s flashing without my consent
Over and over
Images posted all over socials
Me a meme
A silent, unconsenting gif
Like I was some sort of spectacle
Or a fucking freak
I’ve never felt so ugly in my life
To this day
Never
And the thing that gets me everytime
When I think about it
Is I wasn’t on my one’s
You were there
And you didn’t say jack.
Did you?
KARA is silent.
You didn’t help me then and you’re not helping me now.

What a surprise!
So go on @ them if you’re bad.
@ those racists.
Prove you’re not an opp.
Go on.
Tweet something.
KARA: Idk how that would help anything?
48

CLEO: So you’re not doing it?
KARA: Cleo you’re being –
CLEO: Okay. Confirmed. SNM. I don’t need you anyway. Bun you blad.
49

TWITTERLUDE 5
New York Post

N @nypost
#kyliejennerfidead: Anonymous
Twitter Activist under pseudonym
@INCOGNEGRO incites violence
against Kylie on Twitter
06:01 AM - 5 Mar 2019
Público
P @publico_es
La activista social @INCOGNEGRO

amenaza con matar a Kylie Jenner en
Twitter
06:02 AM - 5 Mar 2019
The Guardian
G @guardian
#kyliejennerfidead: Has Social

Activism on Twitter Gone Too Far?
06:03 AM - 5 Mar 2019
50

FRANCE 24
F @FRANCE24
Activiste @incognegro provoque une

action militante contre Kylie Jenner
sur Twitter. #kyliejennerfidead
06:03 AM - 5 Mar 2019
Fox News
FN @FoxNews
#kyliejennerfidead: Twitter’s new lethal

form of social activism
06:06 AM - 5 Mar 2019
DutchNews.NL
D @DutchNewsNL
Is het Twitter activisme te ver gegaan?

06:09 AM - 5 Mar 2019
CNN
C @CNN
#kyliejennerfidead: clickbait or killbait?

06:13 AM - 5 Mar 2019
51

IRL
KARA: OMG! OMG! OMG! I can’t believe this.
CLEO: Whoa. I mean. Woooooow.
KARA: Wait. You’re. You’re enjoying this aren’t you?
CLEO: I mean. I – It’s just I – I’m finally being heard.
KARA: Ur acc getting kicks out of this? Ur fully sick in the head.
CLEO: No acc I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with me. If there was
something wrong with me I wouldn’t be being recognised on a
worldwide stage for my activism. A bitch about to be verified!
KARA: That’s what you’re thinking about? About your blue tick…
your backseat activism…course you are… (Fading into
inaudibility.) Little miss woke queen...
CLEO: Scuse me?
KARA: I’m just saying.
CLEO: Saying what?
KARA: Nothing. Forget it.
CLEO: Nah fam. Say what you said.
KARA: Nothing it’s calm.
CLEO: It’s clearly not so just say it.
KARA: I’m not tryna get into it with you still so just chill.
CLEO: I’m not tryna get into it with you either I’m just asking you to
say what you said with your chest!
KARA: Fine! What I said. I just said. You’re not perfect.
CLEO: And –? Neither are you.
KARA: I know but –
CLEO: But what?
52

KARA: It’s just ur gwarning like – ur dragging ppl on the TL within
an inch of their life like say – like say you don’t have shit to be
ashamed of. Like say you’ve never done shit wrong.
CLEO: What are you talking about?
KARA: Nothing man. Just leave it.
CLEO: Why are you moving so booky rn? Just TARK!
KARA: I said I wanna leave it man just chill.
Beat.
CLEO: Fine. Whatever. Calm.
53

TWITTERLUDE 6
Display name
@USERNAME
Ain’t no way in hell this

@INCOGNEGRO squeaky clean!
06:16 AM - 5 Mar 2019

Truss me! I beg someone find this nigga dirty tweets.

Someone @ this b!
name123 @userusernamename · Mar 5

Twitter do ur thang!
Retweet Like Follow Like

Mission accomplishedt!
INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Jun 6, 2014

Bum bye bye in a battybwoyyy head #tune
Retweet Retweet Retweet
54

IRL
CLEO: WTF tht’s from before I changed my @

I s2g I fully don’t remember saying that
And it’s a Buju Banton song
My dad used to play it in the yard innit
I was legit just quoting.
55

TWITTERLUDE 7
Tay Stan “000

@TAYSTAN2000
Yo @INCOGNEGRO acc
problematic AF! SMH!
06:17 AM - 5 Mar 2019
user name us @twERUS21 · Mar 5

And there’s more…
INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 1, 2014

Lesbianz are acc disgusting,,,imagine licking poonani
#grim #nohomo
56

IRL
CLEO:
57

TWITTERLUDE 8
Tay Stan “000

@TAYSTAN2000
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
@INCOGNEGRO ain’t nothing but a
GRADE A homophobe
06:21 AM - 5 Mar 2019
Retweet

Truss me zaddyyy she problematic af and have the cheek to try be
doing up social justice vigilante. Sis pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

When will y’all SJW learn tht the truth u hiding will always COME OUT
and it won’t be pretty!!!
RETWEET
RETWEET
LIKE
FOLLOW
LIKE
58

IRL
CLEO: WTF! I can’t believe this. Tht was time ago. And I. Yk me.
I don’t. I don’t hate gay people. Queer people. I’m not –
KARA: You don’t need to justify yourself to me. I’m not the TL.
CLEO: Wait what?
KARA: I’m js.
CLEO: Ur js what?
KARA: I’m js u seem to care a lot about how you’re viewed on the TL.
CLEO: And –
KARA: Nvm.
CLEO: Ur not finished tho
Pause.
KARA: It’s just. U never talk about queer stuff on ur TL. And. U clearly.
In the past. U…
CLEO: Ur not being srs? Dpmo. Ur siding w them when you kno me?
When you acc kno my character irl? Ffs.
KARA: Well…yh…
CLEO: Yh what? Wtf is wrong w u rn? Come u use words. Ur a big

woman bredrin. If you’re implying I’m…I’m. That’s just BS. Cah
everyone said that typa shit in secondary – including u.
KARA:
CLEO: It’s tru. U and I both know it’s tru.
59

KARA: Whatever Cleo. Gwarn with your bad self. Ms. Perfect Woke
Queen.
CLEO:
KARA: Yo you’re basically Angela Davis tbh. Sans licking poonani ofc.
CLEO: I am not homophobic! I’m friends with u and – I mean not tht
tht means –
KARA: I know what you mean. I know exactly what you mean.
CLEO: Kara if you don’t say it with your chest I’m about to go off rn.
I s2g.
KARA: Go on. Go off then. Do what you do on the TL best!
60

TWITTERLUDE 9
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
METHOD #6
#DEATHBYDISGRACE
This method doesn’t involve death
at least not in the literal sense
But I want her to walk around like
one of those men
The men in top hats
Thick full red lips
Tap shoes
And skin black as tar
I want her to dress up as what she is
06:31 AM - 5 Mar 2019

I want her to have Aamito’s lips and Hottentot Venus’ hips
Without it being called a trend
I want her to be called blick in the playground
Drop lip
I want her to be whipped
And put in a box on show for a paying audience

I want her to replace her lip kits for cocoa butter or Vaseline
I want her thighs to be called fat not thick
Most of all I want her to come clean
61

I want her custom lace fronts to disintegrate into a no-lye relaxer and
a hotcomb and I want her edges to get burnt
I want her boxer braids to turn into cornrows and I want her to taste
the salt tears that come into her eyes at 9
When she gets told they’re not pretty enough for Cinderella
That’s all I’ve got to tell her
Ms. Jenner

I know you can keep up with the kardashians
But you can you keep up with me?
Miss Jenner I know you’ve got lips you like to overline but you’ve well
and truly crossed the line this time
Because you are complicit in smudging Black women into oblivion
Do you know that?

This problematic ass nigga still ain’t stopped #BLOCKEDT
Report Like Unfollow
I Wanna Know @IWANN_AKNOW · Mar 5

Ayyyyyyy I acc wanna know who @INCOGNEGRO really be
Retweet
A 3’m ne. @userusem · Mar 5

Truss me zaddy!!!!!!!!! WTF is her real identity...
#
62 #
#O
1name123 I’m cne. @userumename_99 · Mar 5
She ain’t gon’ get away with this homophobia scott-free!
Retweet
Rosie Tutty Gran @ROSIE_AKA_TUTTYGRAN · Mar 5

WE NEED JUSTICE! JUSTICE MI SEH!
tWITTA SLEUTH @uSERnAMEE · Mar 5

I beg one of y’all Twitter sleuths do the damn thaaaaaaaaang!
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
#OUTINCOGNEGRO
IRL
KARA: Bitch. U need to delete this account rn.
CLEO: Oh plsssss. I ain’t deleting shit. How will the world-at-large

succeeding to once again to silence a helpless BW resolve to do
anything?
KARA: Omg! Omg! OMGGGGGGG!!!!!! Ur telling me you really can’t

see how you’re at fault here?
CLEO: The only thing I’ve done is speak my truth!
KARA: R U ACC BEING SRS?
CLEO: Damn right bitch!
KARA: I acc can’t w u rn.
CLEO: Well can bitch! Can w me! Cus as far as I can see the TL seem
to think that dragging up historical dirty laundry will silence me.
But NOT TODAY SATAN! Yo TL this is for you! I’M A BAD BITCH
YOU CAN’T KILL MEH! CUS KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME
AND I’MA CARRY ON WITH MY TWEETS. I’m a post another one.
And another one…and… (Ad infinitum.)
64

KARA: Ur srsly gonna post another tweet?
CLEO: DAMN RIGHT!
KARA: Wtf can’t u see urself rn! Look at urself honestly in the mirror
and pree all your mistakes.
CLEO: All my mistakes? Wait…what. Bmt wtf r u talking about rn
KARA: I just – you’ve fucked up too Cleo. You have. And not just on
the internet.
CLEO: I kno wtf ur tryna do ur tryna silence me just like them. Make
me voiceless but you will not succeed!
@INCOGNEGRO moves to tweet when –
KARA: Remember T’Sharn’s 13th birthday party.
Suddenly CLEO freezes.
Well just after. When we were lying on ur bed and you told me
you were scared that no one was ever gonna love you and I said
I love u and then I was like I think I like girls and then I kissed u
and u looked like u were gonna throw up and then pushed me off
and were like never ever say that ever again. So I didn’t. Not for a
very very long time until one day it became too heavy to continue
to hide. I think about that all the time. Having no one to run to. No
65

one to tell. Not even my best friend. Not even my best friend to
confide in. It shouldn’t have been like that. It shouldn’t have been
like that, Cleo. You shouldn’t have said that. And it shouldn’t have
been so hard for me because you have no idea how hard it was.
You have no fucking clue!
CLEO is silent.
Aren’t u gonna say nuttin?
Cleo?
Cleo?
66

TWITTERLUDE 10
Display name
@USERNAME
Y’all WTF’s the tea on

@INCOGNEGRO true identity!
06:46 AM - 5 Mar 2019

Y’all look at what she RT’d last year
ACS Society @ACS_Society · May 13, 2018

Cleo Fuller elected Head of ACS

And the yr before that…
Coretta’s School @Schoolschoolschool · Jul 17, 2017

Winner of full scholarship for first years commencing
2017...Cleo Fuller

Y’all I reversed her IP address @INCOGNEGRO defo dat bitch!!!!!!
nameiguess! @display!_93 · Mar 5

Y’ALL HACKER MFers are acc ridic talented!
67

Truss me! Fiddy to anyone that can find out where she acc live!

That would acc be sick!

Yo @INCOGNEGRO we waiting on you @ the do’!
Retweet Report
usernaaaame @abcdefg123 · Mar 5

YO @INCOGNEGRO = CLEO
nameiguess! @display!brepp · Mar 5

.@INCOGNEGRO = CLEO

.@INCOGNEGRO = CLEO
user name usernaame @twiTTERUS21_95 · Mar 5

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Twitter done did they werqqqqqqqqqqqqq
68

IRL
CLEO is silent. For tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime.
KARA: Cleo with nothing to say. I never thought I’d see the day.
CLEO: BMT STFU.
KARA: Oh so now you wanna talk.
CLEO: I always knew tht u were an opp. I’ve known it from day.
KARA: Is this ur way of saying –
CLEO: – I’m not saying –
KARA: Of course ur not. Of course.
CLEO: Can u. Can u. Can u just fucking stop! Stop bringing old shit up!
KARA: Why? You do! All the time!
CLEO: It’s not the same!
KARA: Yes it is. Why is it different for me? Cus u can’t handle u f’d
up? Tht y? Cus you can’t handle wtf happened tht night.
CLEO: It’s not that. I didn’t realise. I didn’t know you were being and I.
And I –
KARA: Um what was that? Sounds like someone’s stuttering.

Stumbling over their own BS.
CLEO: Wtf! What about ur BS cah all now I ain’t heard an apology
for #wiggate!
KARA: We’re talking about u fam! BMT STFU! And if u say fucking
#wiggate one more time like say it’s a political scandal I s2g I’ma
fucking kill you!
CLEO: HAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Monique voice.) I would like to see it!
KARA: Oh pls you can’t handle me b! And all I want is for you to admit
when ur wrong.
69

CLEO: Wtf did I do that was sooooooooo wrong? Answer that for me
one time pls. I tweeted two mildly problematic things so long ago I
don’t even remember them.
KARA: You still said it tho just like when we were on your bed and
you said –
CLEO: You said I said –
KARA: You did.
CLEO: You said I said –
KARA: You did.
CLEO: Which I never would have said if I knew you acc were –
KARA: *am *are
CLEO: Yes. Are. I know. Gay.
KARA: Queer. I identify as queer.
CLEO: Ok! Kl! Queer. C now I cba to talk about it bcos idk what to
say. I can’t go back in time. If I could maybe I would. But I didn’t
know you were – are – Even when you came out it was on the TL.
I had no idea. You didn’t tell me. I was shocked. I had to find out
with every man and their mum. Did you ever think about how that
made me feel? Huh? To see your new DP with a shaved head
on some gay ass Britney 07 shit, captioned with I’ve rejected
heteronormative beauty standards because DUN DUN DUN…
And when xactly were u planning on telling me?
KARA: I did.
CLEO: Tht time doesn’t count.
KARA: Yh it do Cleo dpmo
CLEO: Tbh I didn’t kno u were being fr tht time
70

KARA:
CLEO: Wyd???
KARA:
Mmmohmygod!
CLEO: Kara stop it! Stfu
KARA: I’m js.
CLEO: Ur acc wilding rn sis ffs
KARA: Lol wtf ur the one wilin rn sis tbh kmt.
CLEO: No u r!
KARA: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL TFW u kno you f’d up
CLEO: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL TFW yk ur overreacting
71

KARA: Oh gtfo! Tbh I’m done with this convo.
CLEO: (A la Sweet Brown.) Oh pls ain’t nobody got time for you!
KARA: U know what I’m srsly done. Fr this time.
CLEO:
KARA: Ay BMT ur acc pissing me off now I’m ngl!
CLEO: Ite kl. Gtfo then.
KARA: Ite snm.
CLEO: Kl.
KARA: Bye felicia.
CLEO: Girl, bye.
72

KARA:
CLEO: (And suddenly vulnerable.) Wait Kara wyd?
KARA: You are blocked from following @Kara and viewing her tweets.
CLEO: Stop airing me.
CLEO: U acc blockdt me wtf!
CLEO: Pls don’t go I need u rn! Pls!
And suddenly CLEO or @INCOGNEGRO realises she is alone.

Summoning her last iota of courage she enters the TL again. As her
identity is exposed, she is rendered hypervisible. This might mean a
blinding light is shone on her.
@INCOGNEGRO tweets.
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
I’m @INCOGNEGRO a.k.a Cleo.

Well my real name is acc just
Cleo. Whatever real is anyway idk
anymore tbh
07:02 AM - 5 Mar 2019
73

I just wanted to say something about my twitter page and the shit I’ve
posted on the TL of past and of late

I wanna apologise for the two homophobic tweets I posted in 2014.

It wasn’t kl or funny and I take full responsibility for my actions. I now
understand that both those tweets even to this day are inherently
problematic + acc even violent

Also I have never ever set out to, nor do I intend to in the immediate
or extended future acc kill Kylie Jenner, the comments were merely
made in jest to wittily dissect the former’s right to her empire, sphere
of influence and monetary income

So pls pls pls don’t try and find my acc address I beg you pls srsly
Over the course of the following, Cleo @INCOGNEGRO goes into

heartspeak. Her two heretofore separate identities as the IRL Cleo
and TL @INCOGNEGRO conspire to cross over and become one as
she allows the truth to pour from her. As she does so, she expands
and swells in the space. In doing all of the above, she breaks the
form of Twitter and eventually the internet itself…
INCOGNEGRO
@INCOGNEGRO
I really struggle with how to say these things
and I don’t wanna look angry and cry
74

and sometimes I’m scared it will make me look crazy if I get angry
and cry
and no one will listen to me or ppl will just think I’m weak or just a
mewling girl or some old archaic female stereotype which might
not apply to me anyway bcos I’m a black woman and sometimes
people don’t really see me as a woman anyway
or as much of a woman
or even human
and that makes me really fucking angry
hate to fulfil the stereotype or
trope
but sometimes that’s all you can do
.
there you go
maybe it’s fucked up
maybe I’m fucked up because that shouldn’t be the only thing I
want as a woman
to be beautiful
to be considered beautiful
but I do
And actually I don’t think that’s fucked up
I think that’s okay
I think it should be okay to want to be looked at and seen as
beautiful
but maybe I’ve been doing it in the wrong way
Doing it for someone
Rather than for myself
but I don’t know if there’s any other way to see myself apart from
in reference to someone else
cus like every time I think about my childhood these images just
come up of things I didn’t realise were fucked up or didn’t realise
what they meant at the time like sitting on my grandmother’s
bed and her stroking my nose I guess I thought it was an act of
affection maybe
I don’t know
but it took me until the age of 16 to realise she was tryna make it
smaller
75

less offensive
less obtrusive
less black
.
and I don’t hate her for it
I could never hate her for anything
Cus I know on some level she was doing it because she thought it
would make my life better
More beautiful...
and then I just remember these words being flung about on
the playground like fishy or droplip and they weren’t terms of
endearment or compliments
they were cusses straight out ways to make people like me, little
black children, little black girls feel like shit
Feel ugly
Because of the size of their lips...
so when I was 16 and I saw Kylie’s new lips I couldn’t help but feel
Can’t help but feel
A sense of...indignation
No more than that
I can’t help but feel a sense that I want to punch her lights out
That if I watched her suffer
If I watched her die
There’s a tiny bit of me that would maybe rejoice
Or maybe not rejoice
But just
Stand there for a minute and look
And you know maybe even smile
Maybe just
Maybe even finish her off myself...
You know what
I’m watering myself down
I have thought of fucking killing her
Otherwise this
I wouldn’t have tweeted any of this shit in the first place
Pause.
76

Am I violent?
METHOD #7
#DEATHBYDISPLACEMENT
.
I can’t help but think about her
Being disgraced
Being dragged from her home across the Atlantic
Age: 21
And put in a cage
Paraded and pimped in a peep-show for a paying audience
And poked
Prodded
Displaced
Placed next to livestock
On a block
For people to watch for decades
Until
Her body was exhausted of interest
forced into the streets with nothing to eat
Seduced into sex work
Fucked senseless
Infected with syphilis
Then left to die until her body decayed
How even in death her body was defaced
Her corpse stolen
Sold on as a specimen to scientists
Degraded in daguerreotypes
And eventually dismantled
Her corpse kept as a prototype
How her cadaver was placed on a chain
Between monkeys and men
Then
Preserved in a plaster cast
77

Her coil relegated into a relic for
Anatomists
Pseudoscientists
Who analysed
Dissected
And reflected on her full form
Then
Carved her up like a continent
Her genitals and brains jellied in jars
And the rest of her remains left in an open grave
On public display
For all to look upon
Her buxom busty form
Being mocked and mimicked for centuries
Even to this day
And that woman’s name wasn’t Kylie
She was known as Saartjie...
Sara...
Ssehura...
Hottentot...
I don’t even know her name
History failed to record it.
She was a Black South African woman in the 18th century
Who had exactly the same body
The same features
And didn’t receive a penny
Now remember her story.
Tweets from the twittersphere begin to reach fever pitch.
Remember her story!

Remember her story!
Remember her story!
TheThe
twittersphere
twitterspherecompletely explodes.
completely explodes.
The twittersphereThe completely explodes.
twittersphere
The t w i tThe
t e twittersphere ccompletely
o mThe
p l twittersphere
r s p h e r e completely e texplodes.
ely e completely
x p l o d e explodes.
s.
The twittersphere completely explodes. explodes.
78

THE POST-MORTEM
Some time has passed. Debris from the twittersphere fills the stage.
CLEO is sat stunned. KARA is looking at her.
KARA: .
CLEO: .
KARA: .
CLEO: .
KARA: Um. Are you
CLEO: .
KARA: alright?
CLEO bursts into tears. Like she might never stop.
CLEO: I’m just so exhausted.
KARA: Same.
CLEO: And I’m tired of explaining why. Giving a reason for every bit of
my rage. My pain. And it’s like all I can feel is weight. Dragging me
down. All the time. Every fucking day. When I wake up. When I go
to sleep. And I…I just don’t wanna feel heavy no more.
KARA: You don’t have to…we don’t have to.
CLEO: It feels like it. Like we ain’t got a choice.
KARA: She didn’t. Saartjie. But Cleo we do. We can move. We can
leave shit behind.
CLEO: Doesn’t feel like it.
Pause.
KARA: I have an idea.
CLEO: ?
KARA: We need to purge.
79

CLEO: What?
KARA: Hear me out. I’ve read about this shit. All we have to do is
pack up all our baggage…all our shit…our material possessions
offer them to the ether. And it’s a full moon tonight. It’s perfect.
CLEO: So you’re telling me you want me give away my tings –
KARA: I’m gonna give away my tings too! And they are just tings!
Tings that in actuality pull us down… Think about why we’re doing
this…it’s not just about us. It’s for all the women who were denied
a right to a voice. To expression. All the black womxn, black
femmes denied their right to just…be. It’s for Saartjie. Semenya.
Serena. All the nameless, faceless black womxn who were told
they weren’t really womxn. All the black femmes subjected to a
gaze. Weighed down. It’s for they and them. Us.
Eventually CLEO appears to concede. Maybe she nods.
Some time has passed. CLEO and KARA have built a life-size sacrifice
and are dragging it across a park or outdoor space and suddenly they
stop. And so, the image we saw of them standing over the body at
the beginning reappears.
KARA: The first thing we need to invoke the spirit is a spirit. (She
produces a zoot.) They go low. We get highhhhhhhhh.
CLEO: You know I don’t do weed.
KARA: You don’t do regular weed. But this spliff is special. This
right here. This. Is one-of-a-kind baby. This marijuana ascends
straight from Kingston Jamaica. Rolled with Cuban lavender. And
the rolling paper is from none other than the motherland herself.
Ordered the shit on ebay. Special. This right here is a diasporic
zoot. Lukatar. She’s begging for you to partake.
CLEO: I am very much aware of how much you’re gassing right now
but it is mad chilly so I beg you light that ting before I change my
mind.
KARA raises the lighter and the spliff, she is suddenly serious as fuck.
KARA: Hold my hand.
80

CLEO does.
KARA lights the spliff. Alchemy. Energyyyyyy. The whole room might
go dark. She, with significant sauce and significant flair, takes a drag
from the zoot. It’s looooooooooooud. She passes it to CLEO. CLEO
tries to take a drag dissolving into coughs.
KARA: What. The. Fuck!
CLEO: What?
KARA: You’re telling me you can’t feel that?
CLEO: …no…
KARA: You did inhale right?
CLEO: …yeah…
KARA demonstrates what she means with the zoot.
CLEO: Ohhhhhh.
CLEO, with significantly less flair and significantly less sauce, attempts
to replicate.
CLEO: (Seeing the light.) Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.
As the passion takes both of them, they move. Ancestral. Spiritual.

Magic. Black girl magic-ish. An echo of something. Then all of a
sudden Saartjie’s spirit is summoned and appears in all its might. Or
maybe they’re just high as fuck. They scream together in shock at
what they both see and feel. Joyful. Glorious. They continue to move
at the peak of the high.
KARA: Saartjie I praise you for being a model of black beauty

Even when you didn’t choose to be
And inadvertently helping me see past my straightening
Allowing me to see true beauty when I finally cut through all that
damage
Years of burning
Abuse
Misuse
The heat damage
81

Bodily damage
Had no idea it would result in this
My once perfectly coiled curled twizzled
Left limp
Forcibly straightened
Dying
Dead hair
Clinging onto my curly, unruly truly
Roots at the bottom
Tugging to be freed
Released
My curls at the root
Painting
Peeking
Paining through
Resilient
Redemptive-like
Regal almost
Unstoppable
As my scissors went snip, snip the strands
All landed at my feet
The locks felt like literal locks
Falling at my feet
Felt like shackles
Chokeholds that had choked me my whole life
Finally forced free
My truth straightened out
Collected at my collar bone
Cuts of former coils
Covering my shoulder blades
Surrounding
Some strands already descending to the ground level where the
tiles were at
And I remember looking in the mirror and thinking I look like my
mother.
I look like my mother.
82

I had always longed to see her again
and there she was in my face.
And my hair was short
But I felt long and tall
The same size as you were
And still are
Saartjie
I praise you for empowering me to be sexually free
In a way you could never really be
Encouraging me to make full use of my autonomy
To embrace my sexuality
And not have one forced on me
I praise you for helping me embrace
My big clit energy
Big
Clit
Energyyyyyyyyy
Wow
That actually bangs severely
CLEO: Saartjie I praise you for helping me to break out the boxes I
stand in
Helping me to break free
Your power
Your rage
Welling inside of me
Your spirit suspending my soul
Your strength making me feel completely whole
Like I don’t need another half
To validate my beauty
Like I can transcend the need for romantic company
Got me feeling like I can be anything I wanna be
Like if I really wanna be
I can just be a massive motherfucking shadow that whispers
MENARETRASH over men’s shoulders when they walk home
That follows them in cars at night and blinds their eyes with
LED headlights.
83

Like if I wanted to
if I really wanted to
I could swallow them completely
whole.
Saartjie
I praise you for letting me know my body is mine
all the motherfucking time
Allowing me to fuck up every conception of woman that has ever
been
That has ever been seen
Every conception of black woman ever seen
Saartjie
I praise you for making me feel like a true fucking queen
Not in the crap
Colonial
Capitalist
hegemony
But my own definition of royalty
Where I can create my own freedom
Kingdom
Crown
A place where I’m always on top
And I never have to come down!
Then in an instant, Saartjie’s spirit disappears.
And as soon as it began…it is over. And whatever it was…is gone.

They stop and touch their heads.
CLEO: Rahtid that shit’s strong!
KARA: Trust me!
CLEO: Are my eyes sposed to feel like this?
KARA: Yeah fam just chill.
CLEO: I am never smoking weed again!
KARA: Ay real talk have you got any crips on you?
84

CLEO: Why would I have crisps on me?
KARA: Come we go corner shop.
CLEO: It’s cold. I wanna be in my bed.
KARA: I’ll be quick! I promise
CLEO: Oh my daze…
They start to leave. Then seemingly out of nowhere CLEO stops.
CLEO: I’m not gonna lie I’m feeling very paro right now.
KARA: Cleo chill it’s perfectly normal post-spliff.
CLEO: Nah I really don’t think it’s that man. I. It’s like the weight
before – but worse. Like I’m being watched or something.
KARA: What…like now?
Suddenly KARA and CLEO see the spectators watching. This might
mean the house lights coming up. Whatever it means, this moment
should take as long as it needs to take to land.
Silence.
CLEO: They’re just sat there not saying jack.
KARA: What are you gonna do now...clap?
END OF PLAY
85

AN AFTERTHOUGHT
Saartjie, or Sarah Baartman as she became later

known, was a South African woman born in the
Eastern Cape in 1789. After being transported as
a curiosity throughout Europe during the late 18th
and early 19th century, she died at the tender age of
26 due to unknown causes. In death, her body was
put on display at France’s Musee de L’Homme until
1974. On 9 August 2002, after a series of requests
from Nelson Mandela, her remains were successfully
repatriated to South Africa and buried in Hankey
in the Eastern Cape.
If you are interested in learning more about

Saartjie Baartman’s story, I’d highly recommend
Representation and Black Womanhood: The Legacy of
Sarah Baartman (2015), an essay anthology collated
by Natasha Gordon-Chipembere, a book which greatly
inspired and influenced this play.
87

BIBLIOGRAPHY
A bibliography, to the best of my knowledge, of all the memes,

gifs and Twitter references made in the play, lest our labour
and records be swept away again…
In order of appearance in the text:
Black woman slow clapping, GIF, woman unknown, source unknown

Affronted black girl, GIF, Marsai Martin as Diane Johnson, Black-ish
Shocked black man, GIF, Titus Burgess as Titus Andromedon,
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
watisdemeaningofalldisjackie, Saying, Person unknown, Cheaters
Black woman shooting, GIF, Queen Latifah as Cleo, Set It Off
Black woman laughing with glass of wine, GIF, Tiffany Pollard
Black woman swindling knife, GIF, Tiffany Pollard
Unbothered Black woman, GIF, Person unknown, source unknown
And I oop, GIF, Jasmine Masters, Jasmine Masters handle your liquor
(Youtube)
Get out of my caucasian home, GIF and vine, Branden Miller as
Joanne The Scammer
U ready to fucking die! I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill meh!, saying and
originally a vine, people unknown
The ting go skraaaa, Youtube clip and song, Big Shaq – ‘Man’s Not Hot’
KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!, film clip, Denzel Washington
as Alonzo Harris in Training Day
Black woman sliding off sofa, GIF, Tiffany Pollard, source unknown
Black woman emerging from car set on fire, GIF, Angela Bassett as
Bernadine Harris in Waiting to Exhale
Kermit drinking tea, meme, source unknown
Brown cartoon fist, meme, Arthur
Black girl with open palm, meme, Keisha Johnson
Black woman rolling eyes with mobile, GIF, Nene Leakes, The Real
Housewives of Atlanta
Black guy with outstretched lips, meme and GIF, Conceited
88

Black guy with crossed arms, Y’all finished or y’all done?, meme and
saying, Birdman, The Breakfast Club
I cannot see I’m legally blind!, meme and saying, Donna Goudeau
Black woman nodding and holding back tears, GIF, Oprah Winfrey,
The Oprah Winfrey Show
Black guy in realisation, GIF, Wee-bey, The Wire
Reclaiming my time! Reclaiming my time!, saying and video,
Maxine Waters
Black woman picking up her bag and leaving, GIF, Viola Davis as
Annalise Keating, How To Get Away With Murder
Black man eating popcorn, GIF, Michael Jackson, Thriller
How sway!, GIF and saying, Kanye West, Sway in The Morning
Why the fuck you lying?, vine and music video, Nicholas Fraser
Real friends, how many of us, song, Kanye West, ‘Real Friends’,
The Life of Pablo
Another one! Another one!, GIF and saying, DJ Khaled
Black woman with glasses rolling eyes, Tamar Braxton, The Real
Black woman expressing disgust on her face, Clare Perkins,
source unknown
Not on my watch!, Iyanla Vanzant on Iyanla: Fix My Life!
We need justice!, Rosie Bailey
I said what I said!, Nene Leakes, The Real Housewives of Atlanta
I would like to see it, M’Onique, The Steve Harvey Show
I was waiting on you at the do’ with neck snap, Ms. Foxy,
Beyond Scared Straight
Disappearing black boy, GIF and vine, Nilessy Niles
89

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Follow us on Twitter @oberonbooks

& Facebook @OberonBooksLondon

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seven methods of killing kylie jenner

seven methods draft.indd 1 27/06/2019 15:29:34

seven methods draft.indd 3 27/06/2019 15:29:35

Printed on FSC® accredited paper

seven methods draft.indd 4 27/06/2019 15:29:35

CLEO a.k.a. @INCOGNEGRO on Twitter,

KARA, Black* mixed-race woman, 22

VOICES OF THE TWITTERSPHERE

*Political blackness isn’t a thing, but if it ever was

This edition of the text went to press before the end of

seven methods draft.indd 5 27/06/2019 15:29:35

The tweets seen in the play are merely a cross-section of the

Over the course of the play, the twittersphere begins to infect

seven methods draft.indd 6 27/06/2019 15:29:35

Sections occuring on Twitter are labelled with TWITTERLUDE,

seven methods draft.indd 7 27/06/2019 15:29:35

The amazing Milli Bhatia for your bottomless belief,

Everyone who made seven methods happen in

My family, especially Mum and Dad:

And finally, all the unnamed black womxn and gender-

seven methods draft.indd 8 27/06/2019 15:29:35

“Thinking ahead of time

seven methods draft.indd 9 27/06/2019 15:29:35

seven methods draft.indd 1 27/06/2019 15:29:35

At 21, Kylie Jenner becomes the

A fracas of retweeting, quote tweeting, liking and following commences. Like

YT woman born into rich American

04:15 AM - 5 Mar 2019

seven methods draft.indd 2 27/06/2019 15:29:35

Mute Unfollow Mute

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

Mute Mute Mute

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

Retweet Like Retweet Like

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

Retweet Follow Like

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

Like Retweet Like

seven methods draft.indd 3 27/06/2019 15:29:36

But when Mac instagrammed a

seven methods draft.indd 4 27/06/2019 15:29:36

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

INCOGNEGRO @INCOGNEGRO · Mar 5

Suddenly a figure enters lurking, she creeps on CLEO. It touches her.

KARA: (In a roadman lilt.) Fuck are you on blad!

Suddenly the IRL environment is illuminated and we realise we are

seven methods draft.indd 5 27/06/2019 15:29:36

Ay big man ting why does it smell like crotch in here?

CLEO: What are you even doing up at this time?

KARA: Well if you must know, I was at one of my lovers’ houses –

CLEO: Oh lord. Which bitch is it this time?

CLEO: – you mean when you were high –

KARA: Don’t oh my days me. Wahum with you?

seven methods draft.indd 6 27/06/2019 15:29:36

CLEO: Oh my daze you’re actually so dramatic. I beg you just let me

KARA: Let you be vex in peace? Pleeeeeeeeease. That’s an

seven methods draft.indd 7 27/06/2019 15:29:36

OMG this bish tryna kill Kylie

04:44 AM - 5 Mar 2019