PART 2

MASTERING SELF TO ATTAIN

HAPPINESS

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other
people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to
follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what
you truly want tobecome. Everything else is secondary."
-Steve Jobs
 1
SELF MANAGEMENT
Self-management has several components that come together to
bring about perceivable change in the personality of an individual.
- Dr. Prem Jagyasi.

One of the most critical aspects of purposeful living is self-management.

Like corporate management, personal management or self-management
also involves the process of planning, organizing, directing, and
coordinating. But as it is "personal", these processes revolve around the
different aspects of your life and bring you closer to your life's purpose.
In order to manage your life effectively, you need willpower, especially
with the number of distractions out there nowadays. Self-management
makes maximum use of your resources, so you do not spend time and
energy on things which are insignificant, thereby achieving more in less
time which makes it a very vital skill in today's rat race. It is crucial for
self-maximization. It helps you take charge of your life and create
thoughtful interpersonal relationships. It protects you from drowning in
the hustle and chaos of everyday life and enjoy your life to the fullest.

The Rules of Personal or Self-Management

We all strive for happiness, and we all wish to get rid of the clutter but
usually go about it the wrong way. We plan the nitty gritty of our day-to-
day routine but forget the bigger picture. It should be the other way round.
We first need the big picture to ascertain the priorities and accordingly
plan our routine tasks. These four critical rules of self-management will
help you control your life and work towards your life purpose.
1. Map out your life
This rule will let you understand about yourself—who you are,where you
are coming from, and where you are going. You cannotfind the directions
if you are not aware of the starting point and thedestination. Hence, this is
vital. So, grab your journal and map it out.

2. Review your perception

We all have a belief system that is driven by our society, peoplearound us,
our experiences, and our own thoughts. We must review our assumptions
and perceptions and replace the limiting beliefs and perceptions which
are holding us back. Reviewing them timely enables us to take an honest
look at our strengths and weaknesses.

3. Organize yourself
As mentioned earlier, we all wish to get rid of the clutter, but this is not
possible without self-organization. Make your life easier by removing
that which does not serve you by organizing not just your priorities and
tasks but also things that you may have accumulated over the years, such
as clothes, stationary, utensils, etc. that may not be serving you anymore.
Without decluttering and self-organization, our journey toward our
purpose will be burdensome, even if we possess the critical skills.

4. Invest in your abilities

It is important to understand which of your abilities will directyou towards
your life purpose. And it is even more important to invest in enhancing
those abilities. Invest your time and energy in broadening your creativity,
strengthening your willpower, and boosting your imagination. The only
person holding us back is ourselves.

5. Let your Will be strong

The capacity to make decisions and implement them is considered as the
“Will.” It is that which drives you. Your integrity plays a significant role
in determining how your “Will” evolves. The intensity of your integrity
is directly proportional to your Will’s effectiveness. Integrity could be
defined as your tendency to stick to your words and promises, or not.
Developing self-management, the ability to manage various tasks and
things in your life is important. If you are unwilling or hesitant to do
something, then the tenacity of your independent ‘Will’ will ensure you
still execute that task if it is aligned with your values. You can help your
Will evolve by starting with outlining and accomplishing small goals.
This will inspire you to also do things that require more zeal and
commitment. You can enhance your willpower by outlining your
purpose clearly, setting proper priorities, and showing true dedication.
Self-Discipline and Time Management

Time management is an integral self-management skill which is

extremely essential, especially nowadays with the countless demands on
our limited time. Here again, once you know the priorities, the items
leading you to your goal, you can then plan the tasks accordingly. We all
have the same 24 hours in a day. However, how you use that time will
determine the extent of your success. Self-discipline and prioritizing your
tasks correctly are crucial for effective time management. If a task is a
problem for you and taking more time than it should, think of delegating
or requesting the services of someone skilled in that field. In this way,
you can focus on the more crucial tasks that only you can do.

Key Takeaways:
• Personal or self-management involves planning, organizing,
directing, and coordinating.
• These processes revolve around the aspects of your life and take you
closer to your life's purpose.
• We must plan our life and accordingly plan our routine tasks.
• Our “Will” is the capacity to make decisions and implement them.
• The basis of efficient personal management involves setting a
priority level for your life. You should develop self- management—
the ability to manage various tasks and things in your life.
• Time management is a conscious effort to plan, manage and control
time spent on various activities.
• Self-discipline is crucial for effective time management.
 2
HOW TO OVERCOMENEGATIVITY

"Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself
with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action."
- Steve Maraboli

You will come across many challenges as you go about your life purpose.
To overcome and prevail, you will need to maintain a strong will and
self-confidence. You will also need to develop new skills throughout the
journey. Resilience is the skill of bouncing back when we fall, and often
involves a hopeful attitude and positive mindset. This strengthens our
attitude and will. We embrace our challenges looking for the positive
within so setbacks can become valuable life lessons.
Negative emotions, self-doubt, desire to give up are sure to cross your
path at some point. But which battle worth winning was ever easy?
Staying focused on the positive and pulling on our willpower motivated
by our purpose will ensure resilience. Like a tree in the wind, we may
sway but firmly rooted in our purpose, we hold our ground and remain
standing, fortified by every challenge.

Your Brain’s Response

Science has made great progress in helping us understand how our brain
functions under stress. Our brain affects our determination and our ability
to perform in adverse times. Some parts of our brain produce the
hormones responsible for our happiness levels, others boost the feeling
of fear.
Stress and fear are wired into our system for survival so when in far
history you were chased by a mammoth, the oxygen would be redirected
from your head to your heart to enable you to run like the wind, hence
escaping danger. Nowadays, however, most of the things that we fear and
stress about have nothing to do with needing to run, but they still trigger
the same primitive response in our body. Consequently, having our brains
less oxygenated helps us think less not better. Flight or Freeze. So, we
mostly freeze and get confused and even more stressed.

Hence, to be healthy, it is vital that we change the way we think. That we

breathe deeply in times of stress to oxygenate our brain and help it see
clearly so our thoughts enable us to broaden our perspective. We need to
feed our brain the thought that come what may, we can cope. That we
have all we need within us to solve whatever we are facing. This builds
our resilience. By emphasizing the positive aspects of the present, we
enhance our feelings of joy and fulfilment and can continue moving
towards the purpose.

The Power of Optimism

Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Keep asking yourself this when in

doubt. It is both, but what you focus on, either all that is there or all that
is missing will determine your state of mind and your outlook on things.
Which do you think makes you feel best? And even when things get bad,
remember that “this too shall pass.”

Take Control

Taking charge means being independent and empowered. It iscrucial that

you make your own decisions, based on your core values and beliefs,
without relying on other people and expecting them to tell you what you
should do.
Be Accountable

We all have to face unfavorable situations in our lives. These help us

enjoy the good moments and offer us the chance to grow as individuals.
When we keep blaming the world, we feel diminished, powerless, in fear
as we are constantly at the mercy of external circumstances. But when we
take charge, change what we can and let go of the rest, we feel
empowered. With responsibility comes the confidence that we can turn
things around. It is vital that we train our minds to focus on the positive
aspects. Even in dreadful situations you can find a silver lining to hang
on to.We all have the inherent ability of changing negative thoughts into
positive ones. We can even laugh in the worst situations.

It is important that we understand that our future will not be the same as
our past or present. We have the power to transform our future by
changing our mindsets. Our journey may not be smooth sailing, but we
can always enjoy the ups and downs with a light heart and mind. Like the
famed Indian warrior Arjuna from the pages of the ancient Mahabharata,
who had a razor-sharp focus on hitting the eye of the bird with his arrow,
we can never be dejected by transitory obstacles if we have a razor-sharp
focus on our life's purpose.

Build Personal Resilience

Setbacks are a part and parcel of life. What is important is the ability to
being resilient and to bounce back from these setbacks. The tools
mentioned below are known to enhance your resilience levels.

- Positive affirmation
As mentioned before, it is important to change your outlook if you are
dealing with unfavorable life situations. Incorporating positive
affirmations can help you do that. You need to harness the power of
positive words. Remember, whatever you think and speak becomes
reality. So, when you talk to yourself, make sure your self-talk is making
you feel worthy. When you talk to others or to yourself, make sure you
are talking positively or don’t talk at all.
- Choose to bounce
Life is never easy. We all have different issues and concerns, but what is
important is that we all have to accomplish our purpose irrespective of
our surroundings. Always choose to bounce back. With strong willpower,
we can conquer any situation.

- Communicate and build strong relationships

Work on your communication skills so you can communicate clearly.
This is especially important when asking for help rather than indulging
in self-pity. We all need support and help at times; make sure that when
you seek advice you communicate well and listen with an open mind.

- Maintain a clear perspective

Your decisions can make or break you. A clear and open mindset is vital
to making informed and unbiased decisions. You can emerge victorious
from any difficult situation when you remain calm and open. Be flexible
and adapt to changing situations, when necessary, you will grow from it
and you will be able to come out of unfavorable situations more
gracefully.

Key Takeaways:

• Resilience is standing back up when we fall, it means growing

from our mistakes and not giving up. A hopeful attitude and
positive mindset are key.
• It is vital that we train our minds to focus on the positive aspects
even in dire straits.
• Practicing affirmations helps strengthen resilience. It can always
change your outlook if you are dealing with unfavorable life
situations.
• When you talk to yourself and others, make sure it is empowering
and constructive.
 3
ROLE OF MENTORS AND COACHES
IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you,
than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out ofyou." — Bob Proctor

Today, we all strive to strike a meaningful balance between all the

spheres of our life, and this goes beyond work- life balance. There are
additional aspects like "me-time", aspirations, etc. This is where we often
struggle with personal management. Sometimes we cannot see the woods
for the trees and are so caught up in the millions of details of our lives
that we no longer see the big picture. This is the time we could sometimes
do well to turn to professional assistance such as a life coach or mentor.
Someone neutral, who does not have limiting thoughts about what you
are capable of and will know to ask you the right questions so you
yourself can get to the right answers.

In short, a mentor shares their knowledge, skills and/or experience, and a

coach provides guidance by helping their clients get to their own answers,
often using various tools and exercises and importantly asking the right
questions. Both are highly beneficial to personal development.

Mentoring and Coaching

Though the approaches may be different, they are on the same

continuum. Both are related to learning and gaining knowledge or skills.
Both work so you can choose what works best depending on your
situation. Mentorship and coaching will help you develop skills, improve
efficiency, and maximize your capabilities. They help you see what you
are capable of and remove that which limits you so you are aware of your
values and can find your life purpose.

Quality Coaching and Mentoring

For effective coaching and mentoring, it is important that all the

discussions are around the agreed life goal. This is usually done during
an intake session, where you discuss together what it is you would like to
change or find.
How often you have sessions depends on you, on the urgency or depth of
that which you aspire to change yet the work on yourself is done daily so
it becomes a new way of life so you can have what you were not
managing to get before.

Some important aspects to bear in mind:

1. The Goal Agreement

It is crucial to outline the goals and expectations from the start. This
enables mentor and mentee to have a clear view, to measure progress and
avoids potential conflicts or misunderstanding which risk derailing the
whole endeavor and would be a waste of time, energy and money.

2. Purposeful Communication
Purposeful conversations and discussions are needed to move forward in
honesty and integrity. Your coach or mentor is the one you are free to be
totally honest with, revealing your biggest dreams, your worst fears, your
doubts, and frustrations. This helps the mentor/coach know and
understand you so they can provide the right tools or knowledge. This
should all be based on respect and openness.

3. Empowering
A coach/mentor often sees things in you that you had not and that is
tremendously empowering. A ‘why not’ approach which liberates you
from all the limiting beliefs you may have accumulated so far. The aim
of all sessions is not to make you dependent on your coach/mentor but on
the contrary to empower you to see all of who you are. The tools you will
have acquired can then also be transferred to other domains of your life.

4. Trust
Trust is the base of every relationship and certainly applies here. The trust
must be mutual. You build a strong relationship which builds a safe space
for you to open up and share.

5. Flexibility in Approach
We all have different situations and challenges in our life. The process
should be flexible enough to address each individual’s life situations,
knowing they are unique for each person depending on the various
aspects and circumstances of their lives.

Impact of Coaching and Mentoring

The impact can be huge, transformational, leaving you liberated,

empowered with greatly enhanced confidence and self-worth. You are
more aware and start feeling and seeing your true calling. Mentoring and
coaching also stimulates the sentiment of self-awareness and helps us
understand what is our larger impact in the society. On top of that,
coaching and mentorship helps build critical thinking skills and the
problem-solving attitude we build as a result can then be applied to all
areas of our life.

Coaching and mentoring promote confidence, help build a positive

attitude and increase the feelings of happiness and contentment.
Key Takeaways:

• Mentoring is when someone experienced and

knowledgeable shares their experience and coaching is when the
coach helps you, through their skills and expertise and through
tools to get to your own answers.
• Both provide tremendous benefits in helping you become the
person we were meant to be.
• The base of this relationship is trust, agreement, andauthenticity.

Be a certified IKIGAI coach or life coach by registering right-

away for accredited courses at www.selfmaximization.com and
avail exclusive up-to 50% discounts.
 4
LEARNING TO LIVE A BALANCED
LIFE

“Self-care is, fundamentally, about bringing balance back to alife that

has grown imbalanced from too many commitments or
responsibilities.” - Robyn L. Gobin

One of the most valuable investments we can make in accomplishing our

purpose is investing in ourselves and finding the balance between all four
dimensions—mental, physical, social, and spiritual—in our life. Your
journey towards your life purpose can be greatly enhanced when you pay
attention to all of these aspects on a regular basis. This does, however,
require time, energy, and proactive skills.
Let us take a closer look at the four dimensions.

The Physical Dimension

Taking care of the physical body is critical and you can do this by eating
nutritious food, exercising enough, spending time outdoors and getting
adequate rest. Not everyone enjoys working out, but you can also walk,
cycle and choose the stairs instead of the lift. There are enough studies
out there showing that people who exercise are less likely to develop
depression or anxiety.

Our modern lifestyle also makes it so tempting to grab or order unhealthy,

processed food. It amounts to treating your body as a dustbin and sooner or
later your body will have enough, and it will show you. Taking care of our
physical being is critical, we only have one body, treat it well! Make the
right food choices, ensure you get enough quality sleep and exercise at
least 30 minutes a day.

The Mental Dimension

That which goes on in our minds. Our mental muscles need exercise to
be healthy, just like the rest of us do. School, university, and all other
sources of learning keep us healthily active, and we develop. But later on,
when there are so many more demands in our time, we tend to drop that
side of our development, often barely having the time to even read. Our
passion for learning new subjects often dwindles with age. We tend to be
less curious than we were. Our skills such as creative writing andanalytical
thinking also deteriorate with time if not used. Continuous learning is
vital for our mental wellbeing.

To be proactive and purposeful; it is critical that we find new and creative

ways of continuing to learn. Reading is one such way. Reading
something which makes you think helps, just a little bit every day before
going to bed if that is all you can manage and who knows, you may soon
be hooked again, and it becomes a habit. Choose books which feed you
and drive you closer to your life purpose. Look things up if you hear of
something new, be those words, ideas, facts, get curious again. There is
so much to learn! Even crosswords and Sudoku are great at working our
brains and are said to be great against getting dementia or.

The Social Dimension

The social dimension encompasses personal bonding, coordination, and

communication with people. We humans are social beings who co-exist
within a social realm. The emotional aspects of our lives and our social
lives are determined and impacted by the relationships we share. They
are crucial to our well-being. Both in what we give and in what we
receive. You can build your social dimension by making new contacts
and reaching out, but also by working on the quality of your interactions.
Do you really listen, for example? Who can you reach out to that you
haven’t had contact with for a while? This contributes greatly to how you
see your place in the world and to understanding your life's purpose.

Spiritual Dimension

In today’s world, this is often a component which is greatly left out which
is the cause of many confusions, frustrations and even illnesses in the
world today. As French philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said:” We
are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual
beings having a human experience”. The spiritual dimension is what
helps us make sense of our whole being and does not need to mean
religion. It is the connection to something greater than us which brings
serenity, overall well-being, and quality of life.

This is the aspect that inspires us toward finding life's purpose. Spiritual
well-being helps us remain calm and resilient during adverse times and
trust that good will prevail. It is about reviewing and practicing core
beliefs and values vital for attaining a purposeful life. Meditation, Yoga,
self-growth, inquisitiveness, etc., are some ways of exercising our
spiritual well- being.

Channelize your energy

If you want to stir your inner soul and find your true passion, you need to
develop your inner fundamental capabilities. This way, you can focus on
your true calling and avoid wasting your potential on insignificant things.
There are so many things pulling on our energy, if we are not focused our
energy will spread itself thinly all over the place leaving us frustrated.
This is why it is so important to spend time thinking about what really
matters to you. Instead of chasing fleeting desires in your personal and
professional life, spend time with yourself asking those meaningful
questions. What is missing in your life? What do you want more of? Less
of? Brainstorm possible solutions open-mindedly. Complete what needs
finishing, start less and finish more and search for things that really excite
you. Ponder on your life choices and try to align things when required.
Of course, we do not always have to understand everything, sometimes
our gut and our intuition know more than what we rationally think.
However, it helps to take time to understand your decisions and reflect
upon them.
Determining your interests and passion in life will help you channel your
energy into the right things and accomplish the goals which really matter
to you. The most important thing to remember is that you already have
everything inside you that is needed for your success.

Key Takeaways:

• When the four dimensions—mental, physical, social, and

spiritual—are balanced, we are healthy and happy.
• Taking care of the physical body is critical and you can do this
by eating right, exercising well, and getting adequate rest.
• To be proactive and purposeful, it is critical that we find new and
creative ways of continuous learning.
• The social dimension encompasses personal bonding,
coordination, and communication with people.
• Spiritual well-being helps us remain calm and resilient during
adverse times.

Be a certified IKIGAI coach or life coach by registering right-

away for accredited courses at www.selfmaximization.com and
avail exclusive up-to 50% discounts.