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 Executive Committee About the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School
Guhan Subramanian Widely recognized as the preeminent leader in the field of negotiation and negotiation
PON Executive Committee Chair
research, the Program on Negotiation (PON) is an interdisciplinary, multi-university
Harvard Law School
Harvard Business School research center based at Harvard Law School. Offering timely executive education
programs, teaching negotiation resources, the Negotiation Journal, special community
Max Bazerman
Harvard Business School
events, and webinars, PON is a one-stop resource for both aspiring and accomplished
negotiators.
Gabriella Blum
Harvard Law School Our faculty have negotiated peace treaties, brokered multi-billion dollar deals, and
Hannah Bowles hammered out high-stakes agreements around the globe. They are prominent
Harvard Kennedy School authors, leading researchers, and distinguished professors—many of whom have
Nicole Bryant
originated the negotiation strategies used by many of the world’s most successful
Program on Negotiation at leaders…and they teach at PON’s renowned programs:
Harvard Law School
• Negotiation and Leadership • Negotiation Essentials Online
Jared Curhan
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
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Harvard Law School

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Harvard Law School

Brian Mandell
Harvard Kennedy School
NEGOTIATION
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Harvard Law School
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
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Tufts University Fletcher School

James Sebenius BECOMING A BETTER NEGOTIATOR STARTS HERE

Harvard Business School Thirty years of groundbreaking research, compressed into three
thought-provoking days.
Lawrence Susskind
Harvard Law School Day 1: Discover a framework for thinking about negotiation success.

Massachusetts Institute of Technology Day 2:

negotiation challenges.

Day 3: Put it all together and emerge well equipped to negotiate more skillfully,

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 PRO GR A M ON N E G O T I AT ION

Why women don’t ask

Adapted from “First You Have to Ask,” by Linda Babcock (professor, Carnegie Mellon University) and
Sara Laschever (writer and editor), first published in the Negotiation newsletter, January 2004.

T hink back to the hiring process that led you to your current position. Maybe
you had just received your MBA and met with a number of different companies
before choosing the job you thought was right for you. Or maybe you were moving
up in your company or switching to a new profession entirely. After a tough round
of interviews, you were excited to be offered the job—but were you happy with the
terms? Did you negotiate your salary or accept the first offer on the table? Since
then, have you had any doubts about the way you did—or didn’t—bargain?
Your answers to these questions probably reveal a lot about you, including
one key thing: your gender. If you’re a man, chances are that you haggled over
your salary offer. If you’re a woman, it’s more likely that you agreed to the first
offer on the table—and got off to a much slower financial start than most men.
In research with Michele Gelfand, Deborah Small, and Heidi Stayn, we’ve
sought to identify unrecognized gender differences in the workplace by look-
ing at the degree to which men and women initiate negotiations. What we found
startled us. In several very different studies, the results were the same: men were
significantly more likely to negotiate than women. In one study, men negotiated
twice as often as women; in another, men negotiated nine times more frequently.
Ruling out differences in age, education level, and work experience, we came to
a firm conclusion: men use negotiation to promote their own interests far more
often than women do. This finding has serious implications not only for individu-
als, but for the organizations that employ them. Left unchecked, gender disparities
in negotiation quickly transform into clear pay and promotion inequalities and
costly employee turnover. All managers, male and female, can benefit from
addressing this deep-rooted workplace problem.
The accumulation of disadvantage. Women not only initiate negotiations
farless often than men, they pay an astonishingly high price as a result. In salary

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negotiations alone, women routinely leave hundreds of thousands of dollars on

the table. Over the course of their careers, small differences between what wom-
en accept and what they could have earned mount up dramatically. Suppose that
two 30-year-old recent MBA graduates, a man and a woman, receive job offers
for $100,000 a year. By negotiating, the man raises his offer to $111,000, while
the woman accepts the $100,000 without trying to get more. Even if both receive
identical 3% raises for the rest of their careers, by the time they retire at 65, the
difference between their annual salaries will have widened to $30,953.
The man who negotiated will earn more than the woman during every one
of the 35 years in which they both work. If he invests this “extra” yearly income
in an account earning 5%, that initial $11,000—the product of a one-time nego-
tiation—will grow to $1.6 million dollars by the time they both retire.
This is a massive return on a one-time negotiation—a conversation that may
have taken no more than five minutes. It’s also an extraordinary amount for a
woman to lose by avoiding that first salary negotiation. Sociologists call this
exponential transformation of small disparities into dramatic differences the
accumulation of disadvantage.
While these numbers are staggering, they don’t even account for additional
wealth tied to salary, such as bonuses, stock options, and pensions. In addition,
a man who negotiates his starting salary will probably negotiate better raises
and more promotions throughout his career, making the financial rewards of his
greater propensity to negotiate almost incalculably high.
Women sacrifice other things besides money by avoiding negotiation.
Suppose that a man and a woman with similar training and skills are hired to
do similar jobs. Early in his tenure, the man asks to join the team working on an
important project. Joining this team raises his profile within the organization,
gives him valuable leadership experience, and allows him to develop new skills.
The next time his superiors need to staff a critical project, the man will have a
real advantage over his more reticent female counterpart. And if he continues to
ask for career-promoting opportunities more often than she does, he’ll advance
much faster up the organizational ladder, regardless of their respective talents
and abilities.

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The costs to organizations. Setting aside issues of fairness, if an organization

hands out important projects, opportunities, and promotions based largely on the
basis of who asks for them, that organization will inevitably waste the skills of the
most talented women on its payroll. Because men are more likely than women
to ask for these opportunities and rewards, most of them will rise more quickly
than their female peers—and end up filling the top spots in the organization. But
some of those men will be less qualified and less able than some of the women
left behind. Allowing women to get stuck in middle management simply because
they don’t pursue advancement as aggressively as their (sometimes less-talented)
male peers can create costly inefficiencies and limit an organization’s productivity.
In the current economy, no company can afford to squander any of its resources,
particularly one of its most important resources—human capital.
Allowing women to accumulate disadvantages on the job by not negotiating
harms employers in other ways as well. Surveys indicate that people most often
leave their jobs because they feel their skills aren’t being fully used or appreciated.
If women see their male peers receiving better assignments and bigger raises,
they may decide to leave.
Turnover is really expensive, says Steve Sanger, CEO of General Mills. “If
we’ve invested in recruiting and developing good people, then we want them
to stay.”
Attrition costs American companies billions of dollars every year. On average,
replacing an hourly worker costs an organization 50% of that worker’s annual
salary; replacing a professional worker costs 150% of her annual pay. Why so
much? Add up screening and hiring costs, opportunity costs for the employees
doing the hiring, and lost productivity until the replacement worker gets up to
speed, and you’re talking about a lot of money. Factor in the low morale of
employees who have to pitch in while a replacement is found and trained, and
the costs skyrocket. Our calculations show that these costs can have a huge
impact on the bottom line of a typical midsize company—costing as much as
3.4% of revenues and an astounding 45% of profits.
In other words, any initiative that reduces attrition will boost profits.
Encouraging women to ask for what they want and creating a workplace

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environment that’s receptive to women who negotiate offers businesses a genuine

competitive advantage.
Why women don’t ask. To enable female employees to ask for what they want,
managers must first understand why most of them don’t. There are two primary
factors: how girls are socialized while they’re growing up, and how women are
treated as adults.
Beginning in early childhood, girls are taught to be “communal,” to make
relationships a priority, and to focus on the needs of others and think less about
their own needs. These lessons are conveyed by the chores they’re assigned (such
as looking after younger siblings), by the toys they’re given (baby dolls and play
kitchens), by the books they read and the television shows they watch, and by the
behavior of older children and adults.
This early socialization can be so powerful that many women reach adult-
hood unaware that they’ve internalized these lessons. Focusing on the needs of
others, they think less about their own needs and wants. As a result, they often
fail to recognize opportunities to improve their job enjoyment and status
through negotiation.
The primacy of community in women’s lives also leads them to worry about
the impact negotiations may have on their relationships. Many women fear that
a disagreement about the substance of a negotiation—who will get and give up
what—represents real conflict between the negotiators. Trained to placate rather
than antagonize, to give rather than to get, and to prize interpersonal peace over
personal gain, women often experience more anxiety about negotiating than
men do. This anxiety can deter them from asking for what they want even when
they do know what that is.
Our interviews with dozens of women also confirmed that women who
come across as “too aggressive” in the workplace frequently end up disliked and
ostracized—and unable to get what they want anyway. All these social factors
deter women from initiating negotiations.
What organizations can do. To make the most of your female workforce,
the first step is to pay attention to who initiates negotiations in your organiza-
tion and adjust your decision making accordingly. Even managers who genu-
inely care about the advancement of women will discriminate unknowingly if

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they hand out assignments primarily to those who ask for them. By stopping to
think whenever a man asks for an assignment whether he will do the best job or
whether a woman who hasn’t asked might do the job better, managers can
begin to right some of the imbalances created by men’s greater propensity to
ask for what they want.
Managers can also employ one of the most time-honored methods of cul-
tivating employee potential: mentoring. We’ve seen many women change quite
rapidly after hearing the following advice from a trusted superior: Assume that
everything about your working life is negotiable. Volunteer for projects that
interest you. Actively pursue your professional goals.
In many cases, simply showing a woman hidden opportunities for advance-
ment can help her view her career in a new light. Understanding that her manag-
ers can do their own jobs better when they know what she needs to meet her full
potential can also relax some of the constraints holding her back.
Lastly, organizations can raise awareness among all employees about how
different responses to the same behavior in men and women can deter women’s
progress and hurt the organization. Why do we call assertive men “go-getters”
or “straight shooters” but label women who behave in similar ways “pushy” or
worse? By making your organizational culture more hospitable to women who
ask, you can show women that negotiating for their own advancement can be a
winning strategy both for them and for your organization.

Negotiating flexible work arrangements

“What Happens When Women Ask for Job Flexibility,” first published in the Negotiation newsletter, July 2011.

I n recent years, some employers have become more open to allowing employees
to work at home and to have flexible schedules. Evidence suggests that women
are more likely than men to negotiate for such flexible work arrangements,
which are often aimed at helping people care for children and aging parents—
traditionally “female” tasks.
When do women choose to pursue greater flexibility, and what affects their
negotiation results? As they report in a 2011 study, researchers Danna Greenberg

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and Elaine M. Landry of Babson College surveyed 404 professional women who
had attempted to negotiate for flexible work arrangements.
The women answered questions about whether their organizations have
formal policies regarding flexible work arrangements, whether the organiza-
tion’s informal culture accommodates personal/family demands, their degree
of perceived power within the company and in their recollected negotiation,
and whether they focused more on collaborating or claiming value during the
negotiation.
Women who felt more powerful than their counterparts took a more col-
laborative approach and achieved better results. In addition, women working for
organizations with formal policies on work-life balance made more gains than
those who did not have formal support. Finally, those who felt backed by their
organizations’ informal culture took a collaborative approach to their negotia-
tions, but this difference did not affect their outcomes.
The results suggest that women may need to feel powerful within their
organizations before they are comfortable requesting special arrangements that
violate workplace norms. And although other research suggests that men gener-
ally seize on negotiating opportunities more often than women do, this may be
one area where men continue to avoid negotiating, as long as stereotyped expec-
tations of them as breadwinners who work long hours at the office persist.
Source: “Negotiating a Flexible Work Arrangement: How Women Navigate the Influence of Power and Organizational
Context,” by Danna Greenberg and Elaine M. Landry. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 2011.

Negotiating the gender backlash

Adapted from “What Happens When Women Don’t Ask,”
first published in the Negotiation newsletter, June 2008.

A series of experiments shows that women face a significant backlash when

they assert themselves in negotiations. Linda Babcock (Carnegie Mellon
University), Hannah Riley Bowles (Harvard Kennedy School) and Lei Lai
(Carnegie Mellon University) had male and female participants imagine that
they were senior managers evaluating an internal candidate for a position within

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their firms. Next, participants watched videotaped interviews of pairs of actors

carrying out the job negotiation.
In evaluations of the candidates, both male and female participants (whose
average age was 29) were significantly less willing to work with a female candi-
date who attempted to negotiate her salary than with a female candidate who
did not try to negotiate salary. Female participants also penalized male negotia-
tors who asked for more money, but male evaluators did not. Participants of both
sexes viewed women who asked for more to be less nice and more demanding
than women who didn’t ask.
The stark truth: Women who asked for more money were disliked—and
penalized accordingly. Women’s reluctance to negotiate may actually be a reason-
able choice in such instances.
Having achieved significant gains in the workplace, women now face a
double bind. To advance and succeed, they need to advocate for their interests—
yet when they do so, they may be punished for being unfeminine.

Advice for women negotiators. How can women ask for what they need
without triggering a backlash? Here are three pieces of advice:
1. Collaborate to be liked. In the Negotiation newsletter, we stress the impor-
tance of using collaborative techniques to get what you want. When you explore
the other side’s interests, engage in joint problem solving, and use influence strat-
egies rather than coercion and demands, you’ll be in a better position not only to
create value for both sides but also to claim greater value for yourself.
Although a collaborative approach obviously benefits all negotiators, it may
be crucial for women. Why? Because women need to make an extra effort to be
liked during negotiation, write Babcock and her colleague Sara Laschever, or risk
a backlash.
That doesn’t mean pasting on a permanent smile when ask ing for a higher
salary. Rather, it means expressing appreciation for the other side’s perspective,
supporting arguments with objective criteria, and framing comments in positive
terms—“I’m ready for a new challenge” rather than “I’m really tired of my job.”
2. Connect your goals to the organization’s. Despite research showing that
many women are reluctant to ask for what they need, evidence also suggests that

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Advice for concerned leaders. Without support from higher-ups, even women who
negotiate regularly will advance only so far. To ensure that your organization
takes greater advantage of women’s talents and skills, follow these three tips from
Babcock and Laschever:
1. Audit your assignments. Reflect back on the work assignments you made
in the past year. How often did male or female employees approach you about
taking on a new opportunity? Were female employees less likely to initiate such
negotiations? If so, pause the next time a man asks you for a plum as­signment
and consider whether he is truly the best candidate.
2. Serve as a mentor. If you’ve noticed that certain talented female employ-
ees are working behind the scenes, talk to them about opportuni­ties that might
attract more attention. Simply telling someone that “every­thing is negotiable”
can have a big impact. After Babcock took steps to encourage women graduate
students at the Heinz School to negotiate their starting salaries, the percentage of
women who did so rose from 12.5% to 68% within three years, matching the ne-
gotiation rates and starting salaries of male students.
3. Raise awareness. Organiza­tional policies may subtly discourage women
from negotiating and advanc­ing. If administrative staff can work flexible hours
but managers cannot, some women may have trouble get­ting ahead, and men
striving for a greater work-life balance may be at a disadvantage as well. Examine
your organization’s culture for such hints of bias, and institute more gender-
neutral practices.

3 take-aways for women negotiators

1 You may be passing up opportunities to negotiate on your own behalf.

2 Avoid a backlash by meshing your interests with those of your organization.

3 Be on the lookout for power tactics, and turn them to your advantage.

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Dealing with potential chauvinists

“Dear Negotiation Coach: Dealing with a problem partner,” by Deborah M. Kolb (Professor,
Simmons School of Management), first published in the Negotiation newsletter, December 2007.

QUESTION

I am a successful businesswoman who works in a male-dominated industry.

Though most of my male colleagues and customers treat me with respect, I
have a problem with “Norm,” a longtime service provider with whom I negotiate
contracts on a regular basis. Norm refuses to discuss technical details of his
service with me. In fact, he routinely tries to negotiate instead with my male
colleagues, who don’t understand his business as well as I do. My boss admits
that Norm is an “old-school chauvinist” but says that he’s a valued long-term
partner. How can I convince this aggravating counterpart to take me seriously?

ANSWER
The situation with Norm is clearly taking too much of your time and diminish-
ing your position, and it’s not serving your company well, either. Yet, as my
colleague Jill Kickul and I have found in our research, this connection between
what is good for your company and what is good for you offers the best opportu-
nity to improve the situation.
You have three separate but linked opportunities to negotiate: with Norm,
with your colleagues, and with your boss. Begin by assessing how well Norm’s
company is meeting your firm’s requirements and by researching other compa-
rable service providers. Having a viable alternative to working with Norm will
bolster your confidence, even if you don’t intend to use it.
Next, let’s consider how you should deal with Norm. Research shows that
in conflict situations, especially those with gender or racial undercurrents, we
tend to see ourselves as being in the right and the other person as the problem.
Although you and your boss may view Norm as a chauvinist, I’m guessing that’s
not how he sees himself. Ask yourself, What good reasons might Norm have to
avoid negotiating with me? Perhaps your technical expertise has led him to

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believe that you can’t see the big picture. Or maybe he’s completely unaware of
his behavior. This type of diagnosis can lead to a productive discussion with
Norm about how you can work together more effectively. If, for example, he
thinks you don’t have the authority to negotiate a contract, you can assure him
that you do.
Let’s not forget your colleagues—potential allies in this situation. I’ve seen
successful women tackle such dilemmas by asking a trusted ally to redirect the
action. Ask your male colleagues to “remind” Norm that he should be talking to
you instead of them. This will reinforce your role and subtly point out Norm’s
behavior to him.
Finally, recognize that this is not just your problem, but your organization’s.
If your technical know-how is being overlooked, share this concern with your
boss and be clear about the type of support you want. You might ask him to
attend a meeting with Norm, at which he positions you as the company’s
“go-to” person, or to remind your colleagues that negotiating contracts with
Norm is your responsibility.
What if Norm is an “old-school chauvinist”? You probably won’t change his
attitude toward doing business with women generally, but these strategies should
alter the way he behaves toward you. By breaking a big problem into discrete yet
linked negotiating opportunities, you can tackle it productively.

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