Subject 2

Subject: The leader and conflict assignment
The leader and conflict assignment
1 a) Intrapersonal crisis
This is a conflict within a person and it happens in their mind and heart. I have had this crisis when it
comes to the issue of relationship. I have found myself having to conflict between keeping some
relationships or just letting them go. It has been a very big battle because when you look at it you find
out if you let them go you will be the one losing a lot yet it is making you to be mentally unstable.
I have also had some crisis when it comes to my career, I find myself conflicting leaving my job and
starting up my own business or to be a freelance but it comes to a point where I end up choosing to keep
my job as I save more and gain for the knowledge and skills that I will need in my own business in future.
b) Interpersonal crisis
I find myself having conflicts with the way the older generation raised us. I personally have issues with
the way my parents used to parent me then and the way I see them parenting my younger siblings now, I
know times have changed but I used to be a slave in my parents’ house unlike my younger siblings they
can talk back to my parent and my parent remain their cool then I could even breath the same air with
my folks when I had done something wrong.
The older generation made us think being obedient makes you say yes to everything even when it is
hurting you, even when you don’t agree with it, even when you know you are supposed to say no and
report or be confident and stand up for yourself. They made us have troubles to deal with bullies and
members of the family, friends and our peers when it came to sexual matters or life matters. This has
resulted to childhood trauma in young people in the community and the raise of LGBTQ in the
community coz the root cause of some of the sexual assaults began with that respected uncle/Aunty in
the family who was seen as an honorable man/woman yet behind the curtain he/she was sexually
molesting those shy small boys and girls and manipulating them and bullying them if they would try and
tell someone.
The lesson I have learned is that I will raise all my kids equal and I will teach them to be very vocal
regarding any matter. I will give them a safe space where they can talk to me where they can be able to
see me as their friend apart from their mum or parent. I will be emotionally available to them because
physical availability is not enough. I have learned that I also have to be emotionally stable for me to be
able to raise them well.
2 a) I have learned that whether I like it or not conflicts will always be part of my life and they will never
go away. This has been helpful to me because I have learned ways of managing and solve conflicts. I have
learned conflicts themselves are not bad but the poor management of them is bad. I have learned that
some conflicts lead to personal growth and maturity. I have also learned that when we don’t solve
conflicts it can be explosive and ugly, another lesson learned is that as a leader we are supposed to be
peacemakers and not Peacekeepers.
3. If we avoid conflicts
 It makes us to be peacekeepers instead of peacemakers.

 It leads to resentment build up
 It makes us to allow a bad journey continue instead of confronting the issue and solve it as early
as possible
 It makes people or parties to displace their emotions
 It can lead to gossiping and backbiting
4 a) I can be able to face reality starting with myself and acknowledge that I also took part in the crisis. I
can also have the other party acknowledge their role in the crisis and from there I will be able to define
what is really going on because a crisis is not going to fix itself but denial makes things worse.
In 5 years ago I would not even think of facing the reality by starting with myself. I would be blaming the
other party and calling them out for allowing us to be in that crisis. I would not acknowledge my role in
the conflict, I would be busy being selfish to the other party making the level of conflict increase.
b) Personally the way I handle crisis now is I first dig deep for the root cause so that I don’t mistake the
symptoms as the real problem. These crises have roots and they don’t move quickly. If I am solving a
conflict now I can insist on getting the whole story so that I can be able to know if there were some
mistakes leading to the crisis and if it could have been handled differently and insist on transparency for
everyone involved.
In 5 years ago I could not be able to listen because I could be interrupting and leaning more on one side
probably the female or favorite side, I would be in sighting one party and making the other party feel
unheard . I would probably be damaging the conflict and I would want myself to win or make sure that
hear me even though am not making sense. I would probably not pray before we start the discussion or I
would pick a location that suits me and not considering the other party. I would attack the other party
and not be sensitive to them.
c) Right now if I have a crisis to handle, I will look ahead for the potential future crisis whereby I will be
able to think beyond the current crisis to other potential problems in future. I will be able to identify
warning signs learned from the past crisis. I can be able to listen to my inner being and conviction. Now I
can be able to allow others to look at my life and operation so that I can be able to help them.
In 5 years ago I could not be able to look ahead for the potential future crisis because back then I never
knew any better. I couldn’t allow others to look at my life and operations because I was very defensive
and bitter. I was not flexible and assertive and I wanted us to go with my opinions. My aim was for me to
win, I was a very selfish human being.

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Subject: The leader and conflict assignment

The leader and conflict assignment

 It makes us to be peacekeepers instead of peacemakers.

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