The Bible and Marital Problems-BABU THOMAS

TLFABS M&FT Dr.
Babu Thomas 11/8/2024
The Bible and Marital Problems

Marriage is one of the first topics that the Bible discusses (Gen.
2:18-25). It is mentioned throughout the pages of Scripture and
considered in depth in the New Testament.
The purposes of marriage, the roles of husband and wife, the

importance of sex, and the responsibilities of parents are all
discussed, sometimes more than once (For example, see Ephesians
5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-25; 1 Peter 3:1-7; Hebrews 13:4).
Marriage failure is mentioned in the Old Testament law and

treated in more detail by Jesus and Paul in their discussions of
divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-9; 1
Corinthians 7:10-16).
Even though it discusses marriage in various places, the Bible

says almost nothing about the ways to help troubled marriages.
Getting a mate is described as a good thing, a treasure (Proverbs
18:22), and believers are encouraged to enjoy interpersonal and
sexual relationships with their spouses (Proverbs 5:18; Ecclesiastes
9:9).
In contrast, the book of Proverbs picturesquely decries the

difficulties of living with a nagging, complaining marriage
partner. Sharing a house with such a person is as annoying as
"the constant dripping on a rainy day." Trying to stop the
complaints is "like trying to stop the wind or hold something with
greased hands (Proverbs 27:15-16; see also Proverbs 19:13;
21:9)."
Imagine the difficulties of trying to do marriage counseling when
the wife, husband, or both are like this. Although the Bible
describes some good marriages, there is evidence that Lot,
Abraham, Jacob, Job, Samson, David, and a number of others had
marital tensions at least periodically (Ravi Zacharias has taken
one biblical marriage as a model for his book, I, Isaac, Take
Thee, Rebekah: Moving from Romance to Lasting Love
(Nashville, TN: W Publishing, 2004). For an older, but interesting
critique of thirteen biblical marriages, including those of
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TLFABS M&FT Dr. Babu Thomas 11/8/2024
Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, Boas and Ruth, Ahab and
Jezebel, Hosea and Gomer, Joseph and Mary, and Aquillia and
Priscilla, see Richard L. Strauss, Living in Love: Secrets from
Bible Marriages (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 1978). These are
acknowledged honestly, but marital problems, per se, are not
analyzed.
It should be remembered that marital conflict often is a symptom
of something deeper, such as selfishness, lack of love,
unwillingness to forgive, anger, bitterness, communication
problems, anxiety, sexual mistreatment, substance abuse,
feelings of inferiority, sin, and a deliberate rejection of God's
will. Each of these can cause tension in the home, each can be
influenced by husband-wife conflict, and each is discussed in the
Bible. Thus, while the Scriptures deal with marital conflict only
indirectly and in passing, the issues underlying many marriage
problems are considered in detail. Many of these topics also are
discussed elsewhere in this book.
The Causes of Marital Problems

In Genesis 2:24, we read that in marriage a man "leaves his
father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are
united into one." Over the centuries maybe millions of sermons
have been built around this verse, focusing on three verbs. The
man leaves, the couple is joined, and the two become one. These
could be viewed as the three purposes of marriage.
Leaving involves a departure from parents and implies a public
and legal union of husband and wife into a marriage. When the
couple has made this public commitment, they have a greater
reason to give themselves to building a committed relationship.
Being joined is from a Hebrew word that means "to stick or glue
together." Like two pieces of paper that are glued together, the
couple cannot be pulled apart without one or both being torn.
When a couple is dedicated to loving, drawing together, and
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remaining faithful to each other, the bond is strong and more

likely to last.
Becoming one involves sex, but it goes beyond the physical. It
means that two people share their dreams, hopes, fears, material
possessions, thinking, feelings, joys, difficulties, successes, and
failures. It does not mean that the two personalities are
flattened, eliminated, or so merged that each person's
uniqueness is gone. These distinctive personalities and traits
persist, but they are developed in partnership with those of one's
mate to make a complete relationship.
None of this is common or popular thinking today. Several years
ago an informal magazine survey found that people wanted
happiness and the opportunity to realize their potential, build
careers, and have fulfilled lives. When these self-focused goals
were not being reached, many considered divorce as an
alternative.
What is God’s definition of marriage?
According to the Scripture, it’s a one-flesh, whole-life
union between one man and one woman.
This union covers every aspect of human existence: the physical,
the sexual, the mental, the emotional, the moral, the spiritual,
and the economic. This definition is summed up in the words of
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Gen.2: 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib h he
had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The
man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman, ‘for she was taken out of
man.”24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is
united to his wife, and they become one flesh.25Adam and his
wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
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George Barna a researcher says, “People are no longer loyal to

anyone.”
Modern culture may treat sex as a toy, but it is actually a terribly
powerful thing. It cements a bond between two people which is
not easily broken. While that physical bond, in and of itself, may
not be exactly the same thing as the “one flesh” relationship
described in Genesis 2:24, it is meant to function as a major
element in the development of that relationship. It’s a central
and vital part of the process of in-othering. As such, it’s basic to
the meaning of marriage. This is consistent with the apostle
Paul’s warning in I Corinthians 6:16: “Do you not know that he
who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For
it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh'” (I Corinthians 6:16).
Sex, then, is an extremely important part of the equation. There
is every reason to suppose that a man and a woman who have
made a conscious, intentional, permanent, and public
commitment to one another and sealed it by way of the sexual
act can and should be considered married in the eyes of God.
This is a crucial point. Marriage is not valid only for believers,

nor should it be viewed exclusively as an ordinance of the
church. On the contrary, marriage is part of the “common grace”
that God has poured out on all mankind for the good of the race
as a whole. It’s like the sunshine and the rain that fall upon “the
just and the unjust alike” (Matthew 5:45). The Bible tells us that
He established it “from the beginning of creation.” He did this
before giving of the Law, before establishing the Jewish nation,
and before founding the church.
 A thorough knowledge of the bible is much better than a
college education _Theodore Roosevelt
 All families have rules which each member obeys for the
good of the whole.”
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Biblical Marriage: It is the plan of God (it is not good that the
man should be alone Gen. 2:18)
 Marriage is permitted between people of same faith (2
cor. 6:14).
 Marriage is anchored on the covenant made between
male and female (Mal. 2:14-16).
 Marriage is for life, until death separates one from the
other (Matt 19:3-9)
Always keep it in mind: There are causes and effects

 We are looking at the effects or consequences to fix
problem but look at Jesus, he focused on the causes.
 Marriage should be holy than Happy. Happiness is

the byproduct of Holiness.
 How many people are entering into the relationship

without having a happy life because of missing
holiness?
Seven Biblical Principles for everyone to maintain good

and steady relationships
Faithfulness
Rev. 2:10 Be faithful even to the point of death
1Sam. 12:24 Serve him faithfully with all your heart
Honesty
Pro. Ver. 12:17 Truthful witness gives honest testimony
Heb. 13:8 Desire to live honorably in every way
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Sincerity
Rom. 12:9 Love must be sincere
1 Tim. 1:5 have a good conscience and a sincere faith
Integrity
Job 27:5 Till I die, I will not deny my integrity
Holiness
Dt. 23:14 your camp must be holy
2pet. 3:11 you ought to live holy and godly lives
Accountability
Ez. 3:18 I will hold you accountable for his blood
Rom. 3:19 whole world held accountable to God
Trustworthiness
1Tim.4:12 set an example for the believers in speech, in
life, in love, in faith, and in purity
Tit. 3:4-5 to love their husband and children, to be

self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home,
to be kind to be subject to their husbands, so
that no one will malign the word of God.
1Pet. 3:3-5 Your beauty should not come from outward

adornment, such as braided hair and the
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wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

Instead, it should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quit
spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
For this is the way of the holy women of the
past who put their hope in God used to make
themselves beautiful.
1Tim. 2:14 I also want woman to dress modestly with

decency and propriety, not with braided hair
or gold or pearls, or expensive clothes, but
with good deeds appropriate for women who
profess to worship God.

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TLFABS M&FT Dr.

Babu Thomas 11/8/2024

The Bible and Marital Problems

The purposes of marriage, the roles of husband and wife, the

Marriage failure is mentioned in the Old Testament law and

Even though it discusses marriage in various places, the Bible

In contrast, the book of Proverbs picturesquely decries the

The Causes of Marital Problems

remaining faithful to each other, the bond is strong and more

George Barna a researcher says, “People are no longer loyal to

This is a crucial point. Marriage is not valid only for believers,

Always keep it in mind: There are causes and effects

 Marriage should be holy than Happy. Happiness is

 How many people are entering into the relationship

Seven Biblical Principles for everyone to maintain good

Tit. 3:4-5 to love their husband and children, to be

1Pet. 3:3-5 Your beauty should not come from outward

wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

1Tim. 2:14 I also want woman to dress modestly with

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