Choice and hunch

How is it going? How are you? How do you feel? These are three the most
common questions or clichés we spot in the usual conversation between two friends, for
example. To my mind, one of them definitely stands out and it’s the last one. If the
answer for the first two would probably be “okay”, “fine”, “that wuss gets on my
nerves”, the last question would make me pivot my focus to my inward state. Maybe it
would force somebody to stop for a second and eventually find out what they really feel.
In this vicious circle of endless work, deadlines, daily routines like sleeping, working,
eating, walking and again sleeping, we have lost grip on reality. In this day and age,
people are too overloaded to pay attention to such trivialities. Obsession with those
hustles, low-pitched desires and fondest dreams leads to oblivion, an inability to cherish
every infinitesimal impulse of your soul. It’s like a donkey who hankers after his carrot
so devotedly, that it cannot see beyond his nose (and follow it). That nose is our
emotions, a strong aspect of being a human being, that directly shapes our reality.
Moreover, they are in the driver’s seat in our lives. Consequently, if you cannot “steer
your car”, you are very likely to miss the right turn. That’s why it’s extremely crucial to
get a genuine understanding about the origin of emotions, their role in our lives, to know
how to differentiate and express them correctly. Your ability to use this awareness will
irrevocably help you manage your behavior and relationships.
Nowadays, emotions are immensely powerful. Though people talk all this
intellectual nonsense, the world is still driven by human feelings. Who gets elected is
still driven by emotion, isn't it? Who is prominent and famous in the world is still driven
by emotion, isn't it? People that you have never set your eyes upon, are the ones you are
in love with. That is the nature of your emotions. So, if you can manage a steady
sweetness of your feelings, you are in love with everything around you. If you are like
this, others can't help it. They'll fall. You’ll attract the best people and situations. It is
not a trick. This is a way of being: like attracts like.
All of us want to have sweet emotions. Love is an emotion. It is the sweetness of
your emotion that we’re referring to as love. If the same emotion becomes bitter, we call
it hate. Even today most people experience the moment of love as the most profound
experience of their lives. It is not, but they experience it that way because that is the
most intense thing they’ve touched, the deepest dimension of life they’ve touched is a
moment of love. Usually, it is the people whom you love that you hate, isn't it? Some
time ago, you were besotted with them, now you abhor them. It's just like a coin – if it
falls this way, it becomes love; if it falls that way, it becomes hatred. Now it’s up to you
what emotions are taking over you. It's an obvious choice, isn't it? However, most
people are keeping their emotions bitter most of the time. Bitterness doesn’t need
necessarily mean they’re in active hatred. They are absorbed by irritation, agitation,
some kind of fear or anxiety. If you make your emotions very pleasant, then life will be
delightful.
 You cannot do something that you are not. If this feels pleasant now and you are
jubilant, it will naturally be amusing to everything. If it’s foul, it will be nasty to
everything. Instead of seeing how to lift this up, you want to be pleasant to somebody –
that is being loving. You don’t have to be loving. If everything within you has become
balmy, whatever is needed in that moment, you will do even if it concerns saying some
hard things. If you have to fight a war, you’ll fight it without any unpleasantness in you.
That’s important. Then you will do everything only to the extent that it's necessary and
not overdo anything. “If you say ‘I love somebody’, you’ll exaggerate the good things
about them. If you say ‘I hate somebody’, you’ll exaggerate the bad things about them.”
People cannot perceive the reality in the way it is, when they are filled with strong
feelings of love or hatred. Maybe the key is to stay composed. Isn’t it natural to favor
others not because somebody is nice, but because you’re pleasant? Still, trying to exude
and express satisfaction when you’re feeling bitter is disruptive. When you’re blissful, it
is effortless. Besides, if people around you are gloomy, it becomes even more important
that you’re not.
Why do we actually need emotions? And WHO needs them? You are the one to
learn from them and evolve thanks to these impulses. Firstly, emotions can be divided
into “animal instincts” and “humane feelings”. The first ones are everything that
concerns our ego: offense, loathing, aggravation, dissatisfaction. If you are always
overwhelmed with such feelings, you will irrevocably be a victim, a caged animal.
However, if you rely on gratefulness, empathy and respect, they will become the
catalysts of your self-development and success.
Secondly, you feel hunger not for someone to bring you the food, but to satisfy
yourself on your own. You feel an aversion to change your pattern of behavior towards
others. Your beloved doesn’t care about your love. You thirst for that feeling, because it
gives YOU the rapture, makes you be jubilant. Moreover, you pay for your love by
making something for your kindred spirit to remain as long as possible in this state of
mind.
Still, I believe that one of the most crucial skills we can master is learning how to
express our feelings and just generally deal with them. It doesn’t mean to stifle but to
take responsibility for what you feel. That’s when children are our role-models. They
are free spirits. When a child wants to show his dissatisfaction, they rant and rave. An
adult, on the contrary, is more likely to make a grimace that nearly screams: “Hey! Look
at me! I am thrilled to bits”, while their inner world has just been eliminated. The thing
is, we’ve been told for too long about illusive perfection and how life should be, what
profession is lucrative and how to behave. Social boundaries don’t allow us to be
ourselves, unleash our true feelings. The gist has remained the same for centuries: “The
whole world – theater, and the people in it – the actors”. We want to keep this image of
a flawless human being, forgetting that our main purpose is to be happy. That’s it.
Fear stalks people from the first seconds of their lives. Innately, we feel the
horrible pain with the first inhale. Despite the fact that we don’t consciously remember
this, it definitely has an imprint on our perception of reality. Feelings can hurt. So, it’s
safer to seek refuge in a stone face because it doesn’t ache. However, it’s only thanks to
this pain that we are alive, we are able to distinguish between something real, infinite
and fake. Only a broken heart can feel genuine love. Nevertheless, we are afraid of
others’ reactions. For unknown reasons, we consider that we can think for others and
even predict their behavior. (Un)fortunately, we don’t have that kind of power. Only by
facing and expressing everything (from anger to gratitude) that has been concealed for
years, you will experience a U-turn in your life. You take responsibility for your
feelings, embrace them and only then can emotions be transformed into something
really valuable. There is silence in the mind, and this silence makes one not want to
share anything but silence.
Nothing good will come out of this hide-and-seek. Nothing stays buried forever.
Energy doesn’t come out of thin air and doesn’t just disappear. So, if you think that you
will successfully keep negative feelings to yourself and life will become a plain sailing,
it doesn’t work in this way. You’ll be like a bomb that’s going to go off. You’ll feel
heavy burden that won’t allow you to live your life to the fullest and run the whole
gamut of pleasant emotions. Eventually, your feelings will come out anyway, but the
consequences will not be satisfying. Isn’t it better to prevent this from happening by
paying attention to what you actually feel every minute? Sincerity is the treasure trove
nowadays. That is the key to every walk of life.
Every day we look at the mirror and now I’m talking not about the looking glass
above the vanity unit in the bathroom. We interact every day with our closest people:
parents, wives, husbands, children, brothers, sisters and friends. They reflect our inner
state. If there are still voids in your life to fill, be sure – you lie them. You can easily
track where you are insincere (feel one thing, express quite the opposite and say some
mishmash). Problems with health, relationships or work don’t take place in your life
because of far-retched karma that hangs like the Sword of Damocles over your head.
There is a reason for every situation in your life and we are responsible for everything
that is going on in our reality. Consequently, it means that people can undergo a radical
transformation, change beyond recognition. Without a doubt, it requires daily work and
initial, the most important step you can take is to change your outlook on different kinds
of relationships in your life. Only after recognizing what you feel towards your dearest
ones and letting them know about it (wisely), can you feel free and alive. The simplest
things are the most arduous to understand.
Summing up, I want to point out that if somebody else can decide what can happen
within you right now, this is the ultimate slavery. What happens around us is not
hundred percent ours, but what happens within you must be your making. That is the
mindset of successful people. All of those who rose to fame, made the decision to follow
their true feelings and pursue something close to their hearts. They made up their mind
not to follow the suit and found their own route to success. Did they give a hoot about
the judgement they may face? Yes, it was scary, but something more powerful than just
dread guided them. Much of that they stumbled into by following their curiosity,
intuition and feelings turned out to be priceless later on because they were truthful with
themselves and the surrounding people.