Dr. Fe M. Tangalin Dmmmsu-Sluc Agoo, La Union

Dr. Fe M.
Tangalin
DMMMSU-SLUC
Agoo, La Union
Wordy More Concise
 Any particular type of  Any uniform is
uniform is acceptable.
acceptable.
 Preparing the
 Preparing the budget tomorrow
budget tomorrow is is impossible
an impossibility without extra
without some kind of help.
extra help.
kind of
sort of
type of
really
basically
for all intents and purposes
definitely
actually
generally
individual
specific
particular
More Concise
Wordy
 The ambitious employee...
 The employee with
ambition...  The best-performing
department...
 The department showing
the best performance...
 At our last board meeting,
Chief Consultant Jeff
 Jeff Converse, our chief of
Converse suggested that
consulting, suggested at we install microfilm
our last board meeting the equipment in the data
installation of microfilm processing department.
equipment in the
department of data
processing. NOTE: As you edit, first find
nominalizations that you can
replace with verb phrases.
Wordy More Concise
 The report, which was  The recently released
released recently... report...
 All applicants who are
interested in the job  All job applicants
must... must...
 The most efficient and

accurate system...
Wordy More Concise
 It is the governor who  The governor signs or
signs or vetoes bills. vetoes bills.
 There are four rules  Four rules should be

that should be observed:...
observed: ...
Wordy More Concise
 An account was  Mrs. Simms opened
opened by Mrs. an account.
Simms.  The research
 Your data was department checked
checked by the your data.
research department.
Wordy More Concise
 The function of this  This department
department is the collects accounts.
collection of
accounts.
Wordy More Concise
 The duty of a  A clerk checks
clerk is to check and records all
all incoming mail incoming mail.
and to record it.
Wordy More Concise
 At this/that point in  Now/then...
time...
 In accordance with
 As you requested...
your request...
 It is possible that
nothing will come  Nothing may come
of these of these
preparations. preparations.
 the reason for
 for the reason that
 owing/due to the fact that
 in light of the fact that  because
 considering the fact that  since
 on the grounds that  why
 this is why
 on the occasion of
• in a situation in which
• under circumstances in  when
which
 as regards
 in reference to
 with regard to  about
 concerning the matter of
 where ________ is
concerned
 it is crucial that
 it is necessary that  Must
 there is a  should
need/necessity for
 it is important that
cannot be avoided
 is able to
 has the opportunity to
 has the capacity for  can
 has the ability to
 it is possible that
 there is a chance that  May
 it could happen that  Might
 the possibility exists for  could

Wordy
 It goes without saying that we More Concise
are acquainted with your
policy on filing tax returns, and  We intend to comply with the
we have every intention of tax-return regulations that you
complying with the regulations have mentioned.
that you have mentioned.
 Imagine a mental picture of  Imagine someone trying to

someone engaged in the learn the rules of chess.
intellectual activity of trying to
learn what the rules are for
how to play the game of chess.
Wordy More Concise
 I would appreciate it if you  Please encourage your drafting
would bring to the attention of officers to keep sentences and
your drafting officers the paragraphs in letters, reports,
administrator's dislike of long and studies short. Dr. Lomas,
sentences and paragraphs in the administrator, has
mentioned that reports and
messages to the field and in memos drafted for her
other items drafted for her approval recently have been
signature or approval, as well wordy and thus time-
as in all correspondence, consuming.
reports, and studies. Please
encourage your section to
keep their sentences short.
 very unique  completely finish
 past memories  terrible tragedy
 various differences  end result
 each individual  final outcome
 basic fundamentals  free gift
 true facts  past history
 important essentials  unexpected surprise
 future plans  sudden crisis
 large in size  of cheap quality
 often times  honest in character
 of a bright color  of an uncertain
 heavy in weight
condition
 in a confused state
 period in time
 unusual in nature
 round in shape
 extreme in degree
 at an early time
 of a strange type
 economics field
Wordy More Concise
 Before the travel agent was  Before the travel agent
completely able to finish finished explaining the
explaining the various differences among the
differences among all of the unique vacation packages
many very unique vacation his travel agency was
packages his travel agency offering, the customer
was offering, the customer changed her plans.
changed her future plans.
Wordy More Concise
 During that time period,  During that period, many
many car buyers preferred car buyers preferred pink,
cars that were pink in shiny cars.
color and shiny in
appearance.
 The microscope revealed
 The microscope revealed
a group of peculiar, round
a group of organisms that
organisms.
were round in shape and
peculiar in nature.
Let’s look at this sample composition
You don't need to write a lot or use big
words to sound smart.
First things first, I switched the voice from
passive to active (from ‘there is' to ‘you'). Always
locate your subject and lead with it. Active voice
feels confident; passive does not.
To write the shorter sentence , I literally sat
up from my computer and asked, ‘What am I
trying to say?' I stopped trying to be clever with
it, and the words found their way onto the page.
I also have a habit of
being very critical with the number
of words I use in each sentence. Once I
write something, I go back and decide
if each and every word I just
wrote deserves to be there. Say to
yourself: if I remove this word, would the
sentence still make sense? If I removed
this sentence, would the paragraph make
sense? And the ultimate: do I really need
this paragraph?
Speed is key. When people read
your cover letters and resume, you need
to be very respectful of their time. Don't
write five huge paragraphs that go on
and on. Be tough on yourself and really
give them just what they need to
know.You are better off making one or
two main points (or telling one great
story) rather than trying to jam your
entire life into an employer's brain.
And when you finish editing your work,
go back and edit again. After that, go back
and edit some more. A boss may never tell
you he/she loved your cover letter or resume,
but ones that are tightly written and well-
composed will leave an impression.
Most of all, you will stand out. College

did not prepare us very well for the process
of job applications. But those who take it upon
themselves to learn to harness the power of
brevity will have an edge every time.

Dr. Fe M. Tangalin Dmmmsu-Sluc Agoo, La Union

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Dr. Fe M.

 The most efficient and

 There are four rules  Four rules should be

 it could happen that  Might

 the possibility exists for  could

 Imagine a mental picture of  Imagine someone trying to

Most of all, you will stand out. College

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