I Once Was Lost

19.
I Once Was Lost

• It is a heart-touching story of the writer's life. In this story, the writer tells us about his quest for
identity and parenthood. The writer grew up as a foster child (orphan) in Cleveland, USA.
• He had suffered abuse, neglect and insults as a child who never knew who his parents were. He
knew that his father's name was Edward Elkins, who had died before he was born. His mother
was Eva Fisher, who he could not locate for long.
• The writer thought that this painful fact of his life would never get better, but as he started
searching for his father's relatives, he got lucky.
• The writer first got the telephone number of his father's sister. She told him that if he was telling
her the truth, he had a large family. Then she sent him the telephone number of other uncles
and aunts.
• Very soon, they arranged for his trip on the Thanksgiving day. It was the time for the family
reunion. The writer managed a ten-day leave, and travelled to Cleveland. He was very delighted
to see his relatives. They were all tall and attractive with unusual green, silver and brown eyes.
They all told him that he looked exactly like his father.
• They showed him his father's photograph. His father was in the
army, at the age of 19. He found his father's picture very attractive.
• Then, his uncle Spinona helped him to get in touch with his mother's
brother. His name was Jess Fisher. They went to see him and the man
drove them to the house where the writer's mother was living .
• As they parked the car and approached the door, the writer had a
long story to tell his mother. Probably, he would ask her the reason
for deserting him. He would ask her whether she loved him at all or
she wished to see him in her life.
• But, as the door opened, they all walked into a dimly lit apartment with
shabby furniture.
• There was a frail woman who looked too old to be his mother. Her hair
was uncombed, and she was wearing her nightclothes. When the writer
was introduced to her, she moaned, losing her footing. The writer took
her into his arms and couldn't ask her any of those questions.
• Later, he came to know that his mother had tried to marry a man after
the death of her husband. She had thought that she would make a loving
and caring family with that man, and then she could take him back to the
family from foster home. But, unfortunately, there had not been much
love in the family and that she had tried hard to forge him.
• At this point, the writer understood that his mother had suffered
more than he did. She had faced poverty, loneliness and rejection
throughout her life.
• Anyway, the writer found his family. He was no more lost.
• He forgave his parents. When he went back to his work to Los
Angeles, he felt like a rich man even if he was just a security guard.
• When the people in his office came to know about his life, they
wanted to make a film based on it. But, they wanted an established
screen writer to tell his story. He wrote 41 drafts to finalize this story.
Question-Answer:
1.Describe the narrator's feelings when he called his relatives for the first
time in his life.
Ans: The writer had grown up in a foster home. He was deprived of family
love and affection. He didn't know any relative. He only knew the name
of his father and mother. But, by some chance, he happened to get some
information about his father's sister. He was not sure of it at the
beginning. Yet, he was very optimistic and happy to make the first call.
Still, he was a bit nervous for being neglected at this time because he
thought that his own people might refuse to identify him after such a
long time.
2. Describe the reaction of Antwone's mother when she met him for the first time.
• Ans: By this time Antwone's mother had become weak and old. She had lived through
hardships. She had been remorseful. When she saw him after so many years, she first
moaned. She was awe stricken. She felt very ashamed and she had some sense of
guilt, too.
3. Why did Antwone think his mother's road was longer and harder than his?
• Ans: Antwone came to know that his mother was very unlucky. She lost her husband
quite early on. After that she tried to get a man to marry she gave her. But, there was
not much love in the family. Later, birth to many other children. She suffered poverty,
loneliness and rejection in her life. And of course, she had a sense of guilt for ditching
her first child out in a foster home. She was already very weak and old. Thus,
Antwone thought that his mother's road was harder and longer than his.

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19.

I Once Was Lost

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