Week 2:

Lesson 1

THE THESIS
STATEMENT
 What is a thesis statement? It is often placed
in the
A thesis introductory
statement is paragraph of an
the main idea essay.
of an essay.
The thesis
It is often a statement explains
point you want to a reader the main
to argue or idea of the essay,
support in an and the writer’s
essay. opinion on that idea.
 Thesis statement avoid the
following:
❑the first person (I believe, in my
opinion, etc.)
❑unclear languages (It seems, etc.)
❑Attempting two topics at once (even if
they seem related). Pick one and stick
with it.
❑Just stating a fact- A thesis statement
is something you plan to make an
argument about.
Thesis Statement

KEY POINTS:
✔Takes a stand
✔Justifies discussion (indicates that topic
is important/has a point)
✔Expresses one main idea
✔Is specific (not vague)
 Key Points
Main Idea in a Complete Sentence

The sport of cross-country This is not a complete

running. sentence.

The sport is cross-country

running has allowed me to
Thesis statement
get in better shape and
meet some interesting
people.
Why do I want to be a This is a question,
teacher? not a statement.

Being a teacher is a
great profession Thesis Statement
because it allows me
to work with students
and be creative.
Where do I put the thesis
statement?

Answer:
At the end of the introduction.
 LOCATION
For most of Mr. Brown’s life, he lived with bad health, smelly
clothes, and a chronic cough. His children and wife begged him to stop the
habit that caused these conditions, but he could not. The habit of smoking had
wrapped its addicting arms around him and was slowly strangling him until
one day he realized it had to stop. Mr. Brown realized his overwhelming
addiction came after three terrifying events in his family that changed his
life forever.

The thesis statement comes at the end of the introductory

paragraph. This sentence tells the reader that he/she can
expect to read about the events that caused the author to stop
smoking in the rest of the essay.
 Thesis statement
Example:
Psychology have argued for decades about how a person’s
character is formed. Numerous psychologists believe that one
birth order (i,e. place in the family as the youngest, oldest, or
middle child) has the greatest influence. Birth order can have a
significant impact in the formation of a child’s character. Birth
order can strongly affect one’s relationship with parents,
relationships with others, and how one views responsibility as
adult.
Subpoints in the thesis or nearby help the reader
how to the essay will be organized.
Writing a Thesis Statement
Steps to Writing a Strong Thesis Statement
1) Research topic and create a research
question.
2) Write a rough draft thesis statement that
answers the research question.
3) Re-write thesis statement to make sure
that it addresses all of the key points for
a strong thesis.
4) Make sure thesis is a “road map’’ for the
rest of your essay.
 The Thesis Statement

The thesis statement further focuses the narrowed subject

because it must clearly state, in sentence form, the writer’s

controlling idea – the main point, opinion, or angle that the

rest of the essay will support or discuss.

Narrowed subject: My job at the brewery

Controlling idea: So bad it changed my life

Thesis statement: That was the most

boring and painful job I have ever had,
but it motivated me to change my life.
❑ This thesis statement has a clear controlling idea.
From it, we expect the essay to discuss specific
ways in which this job was boring and painful and
how it motivated a changed.

Thesis statement and its controlling idea should be as

specific as possible. By writing a specific thesis
statement, you focus the subject and give yourself
and your readers a clear idea of what will follow.
Three ways to make a vague thesis statement more
specific:

1. As a general rule, replace vague words with more

exact words* and replace vague ideas with more exact
information:
Vague thesis statement: My recent trip to Florida
was really bad.

Revised thesis statement: My recent trip to

Florida was disappointing because the weather
upset my sightseeing plan.
❑The first thesis statement above
lacks a clear controlling idea. The
inexact words really bad do not
say specifically enough why the
trip was bad or what the rest of
the essay might discuss.
❑The second thesis statement is more specific.
The words really bad are replaced by the more
exact word disappointing. In addition, the
writer has added more complete information
about why the trip was disappointing. From
this thesis statement, it is clear that the essay
will discuss how the weather upset the writer’s
plans.
2. Sometimes you can make the thesis statement more
specific by stating the natural divisions of the object. If a
subject naturally has two, three, of four divisions, stating these
in the thesis can set up an outline for your entire essay.

Example:
Vague thesis statement: The movie Southern Smoke
seemed phony.

Revised thesis statement: The costumes, the

dialogue, and the plot of the movie Southern
Smoke all seemed phony.
❑ The first thesis statement above gives little specific direction
to the writer or the reader.

❑ The second thesis statement, however, actually sets up a plan

for the whole essay. The writer has divided the subject into
three parts- then costumes, the dialogue, and the plot- and he
or she will probably devote one paragraph to discussing the
phoniness of each one, following the order in the thesis
statement.
3. Avoid a heavy-handed thesis statement
that announces, “Now I will write
about…” or ”This essay will discuss…”
Don’t state the obvious. Instead, craft a
specific thesis statement that will capture
the reader’s interest and control what the
rest of your essay will be about. Make
every word count.
Practice 1

A thesis statement should not be too broad.

Too Broad

The world is a magnificent place to live.

Better

Good teachers make Mountain City Elementary a

fantastic school.
 Which sentence is too broad to be
a good thesis statement?

A. One reason to live in Mountain City is

access to many wonderful places to fish.

B. Mountain City is a great place to live.

 Answer:
B. Mountain City is a great place to live .
 A thesis statement should not be too wordy.

Wordy

Some problems with Mountain City Elementary School is that

it needs a larger playground, an air conditioned gym, an
auditorium, restrooms connected to each classroom, and a
number of other physical changes to the building.
Better

Mountain City Elementary needs several changes to its

facility to make a better school.
 Which sentence is too wordy to be a good thesis
statement?

A. Abraham Lincoln was one of the best presidents the

United States has ever known.

B. Abraham Lincoln was an excellent speaker, the 16th

President of the United States, a liberator of slaves, and united
the North and South at the end of the America Civil War.
Answer:

B. Abraham Lincoln was an excellent speaker, the

16th President of the United States, a liberator of
slaves, and united the North and South at the end of
the America Civil War.
A thesis statement should not be too general.

Too general
Mountain City Elementary is a good school.
Better

Daily writing practice has led to improved

writing skills for the students at Mountain City
 Which sentence is too general to be
a good thesis statement?

A. Music make people happy.

B. Music therapy is useful in relieving

stress and other conditions.
 Answer:
A. Music makes people happy.
 A thesis statement should not be a title.

A title
Cost of living
Better

The cost of living in Mountain City is

lower than in most other cities in the United
States.
 Which sentence would not be a good thesis statement
because it is a title?

A. Good teaching has led to an increase in TCAP scores at

Mountain City Elementary.

B. Rising TCAP Scores at Mountain City Elementary

 Answer:
B. Rising TCAP Scores at Mountain City Elementary
 A thesis statement should not be a fact.

A fact

The average temperature for Mountain City in

winter is 34 and in summer is 75 degrees.
Better

The climate in Mountain City is deal for

outdoor sports.
Which sentence would not be a good thesis
statement because it is a fact?

A. The recycling of one aluminum can saves

enough energy to run a TV for three hours.
B. Recycling is one of the most important
jobs for a person can do to protect our
environment.
 Answer:
A. The recycling of one aluminum can
saves enough energy to run a TV for three
hours.
 Revise each vague thesis statement, making it
more specific. Remember, a good thesis
statement should have a clear controlling idea
and indicate what the rest of the essay will be
about.
Example:
Watching TV news programs has its good points.
Watching news programs on TV can make one a
more informed and responsible citizen.
1. A visit to the emergency room can be
interesting.
2. I will write about my job which is very cool.
3. Students should study better.
4. There are many unusual people in my
family.
5. School uniforms are a good idea.