odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

And in Danish because why not:

Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden

På dagen for Tors fødsel

På asfalten ved Taco Bell

Dér lå Loke

“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”

*Snorts*

When Thor born

He hair shine brite

A very very

Magical site

But then I see

A bab from hell

I pik up loki

From taco bell

the rosetta stone of shitposting

@incorrectnorse-quotes

Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.”  I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.

someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.

oh are we making aromantic trend? hell yeah reblog if you're aromantic or if you want to beat everyone who says 'you'll find someone eventually' to death with hammers. in solidarity.

thursday needs a meme, here’s my attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and i’m here to help. thanks

it’s thursday today but it’s cold outside, so here’s an update on my attempt at a thursday meme. it’s thursday and it’s cold but i’m still here to help. thanks 

it’s 2015 now and thursday still needs a meme, here’s another attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and it’s a new year and as always i’m here to help. thanks

spring has sprung but thursday still needs a meme, so here’s another attempt to contribute. it’s springtime this thursday, and even as the seasons change i’m here to help. thanks 

it’s a summer thursday and thursday still needs a meme, so here’s one more attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and this summer i’m here to help. thanks 

Her dedication must not go unrecognized

i can’t believe i found this again on a thursday lady your mission has been accomplished

Rule: you can only reblog this on Thursday.

Ooo its thursday

I have posted this every Thursday for 2 months. Has anyone even noticed?

Well, it does indeed appear to be Thursday my dudes

currently Thursday

currently my birthday, on Thursday

Oh hey thursday birthday meme

Thursday!

Thursday guys.

Thursday.

Well, it’s Thursday

it Thursday

well it’s Thursday

Well, it’s Thursday

welp, it’s Thursday

it’s Thursday again

woo, Thursday!!

thursDAY

THURSDAY??? SOUND THE ALARM AND SUMMON THE LADY

THRUSDAY

* Deltarune Thursday

Lean into the funny idiot archetype so that when you’re unexpectedly hypercompetent at something they give you The Look where you can see them reexamine their entire perception of you in confusion, respect and no small amount of fear, and when you keep playing funny idiot they will be forever wary of you. Let them find out, incidentally, that the jester keeps a knife under his hat, and never figure out how to deal with that because they won’t abandon their boxes.

i keep mine in my fanny pack :)

Goodluck Pikachu

I love you, Mr. Murderbritches.

I would die for Mr. Murderbritches

You will

He’ll do it personally

I love this site.

Character [Mr. Murderbritches] has been unlocked as a Party Member

Special Ability: [Maul U]

Mr. Murderbritches’ claws and teeth deal +5 piercing damage

OMG I REBLOGGED THIS THINKING THAT WAS ITS NAME

Without my glasses I couldn’t tell those were chickens and thought he had been arrested for stealing ice creams.

i thought they were nuns

Me and my mutuals rebloging the same post

Quick, everyone reblog this

starting a collection. little brown things

....but.... why?

To quote Cave Johnson: "Science isn't about why, it's about WHY NOT!"

I want a knife gun.

For an updated Ides of March

The Ides of March: Reloaded

brutus is back and this time….. he doesn’t need the whole senate

thursday needs a meme, here’s my attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and i’m here to help. thanks

it’s thursday today but it’s cold outside, so here’s an update on my attempt at a thursday meme. it’s thursday and it’s cold but i’m still here to help. thanks 

it’s 2015 now and thursday still needs a meme, here’s another attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and it’s a new year and as always i’m here to help. thanks

spring has sprung but thursday still needs a meme, so here’s another attempt to contribute. it’s springtime this thursday, and even as the seasons change i’m here to help. thanks 

it’s a summer thursday and thursday still needs a meme, so here’s one more attempt to contribute. it’s thursday and this summer i’m here to help. thanks 

Her dedication must not go unrecognized

i can’t believe i found this again on a thursday lady your mission has been accomplished

Rule: you can only reblog this on Thursday.

Ooo its thursday

I have posted this every Thursday for 2 months. Has anyone even noticed?

Well, it does indeed appear to be Thursday my dudes

currently Thursday

currently my birthday, on Thursday

Oh hey thursday birthday meme

Thursday!

Thursday guys.

Thursday.

Well, it’s Thursday

it Thursday

well it’s Thursday

Well, it’s Thursday

welp, it’s Thursday

it’s Thursday again

woo, Thursday!!

thursDAY

THURSDAY??? SOUND THE ALARM AND SUMMON THE LADY

THRUSDAY

* Deltarune Thursday

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

THE NOTES ARE BROKEN!  This has been reblogged so many times, Tumblr just shrugged and said “infinity”

Yoink!!!

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

this is funny as fuck 😭💀

Original comic by Rasenth

Leelah Alcorn was a trans girl, a teenager, who sadly committed suicide nearly 10 years ago. I'm happy that her comic touches the hearts of so many people, years after her death.

I saved screenshots of her blog and last message to the world. Her parents had a lot of control over how she was perceived after her death, but it was also to prevent deletion by Tumblr itself. Even back then, Tumblr has been shadow banning trans women on this platform.

My heart goes out to all trans women who are struggling with society's expectations of who they are supposed to be and who they are allowed to be. May you find peace, growth, and respite from whatever you're going through. You deserve happiness, most of all. Thank you for living, thank you for being here with us.

Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!

The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.

This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.

Here is a short and easy video showing this in action

The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.

You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.

If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!

I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.

If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!

*currently suffering from a horrible migraine. Tries this*

Are you fucking shitting me it works!?

What. The fuck.

hey so it’s march now aka the beginning of endometriosis awareness month and i feel obligated to remind you that debilitatingly painful periods are not normal. if you or someone you know is ending up sick or bedridden every month, you are not crazy and deserve medical attention from someone who will take you seriously

hey it’s march again let’s get this post circulating again