Tim and Bruce getting into an argument bcs Tim demands to be independent and NOT get involved in the mess of being a legal part of the Wayne family, and Bruce being final on the fact that Tim is FIFTEEN and needs a legal guardian. out of spite Tim asks the person he thinks Bruce would approve of as a guardian the least to sign some guardian papers.

Tim: you don’t have to do anything parental i just REALLY wanna make Batman mad and i get the sense that our wishes align on that specific aspect so if you could just sign here for shits and giggles-

Red Hood:

Red Hood, rapidly changing his plans on how to deal with getting revenge on Bruce because his replacement is actually kinda hysterical: if we’re doing this we’re fucking doing it right, kid

Bruce shows up to Tim’s next parent teacher conference because hey just because he’s being given the silent treatment over this whole adoption thing doesn’t mean he’s going to slack off on his parental duties, only to freeze in the doorway because Tim Drake-Hood is stood there with his shiny new CRIME LORD LEGAL GUARDIAN giving him the most SHIT EATING GRIN POSSIBLE, and he almost has a panic attack on the spot.

Jason’s really getting into this whole caretaker thing. he’s doing school runs, delivering home cooked meals to Drake manor, helping with homework, this was his fucking CALLING. Tim is having the time of his life because him and Hood actually get along really well, but then he realises two weeks in that it turns out Hood is actually Jason fucking Todd, and he has to deal with the existential crisis of causing the very thing he was trying to stop because he is now technically a legal child of the Wayne family.

out of embarrassment for the fact that he failed and amazement at the fact that he’s bonding so well with Bruce’s dead kid and his own childhood hero (who is now a badass crime lord that lets him call for advice about english assignments while organising drug runs and picks up batburger on his way home from weapon shipments, seriously what more could Tim want in a parent), Tim somehow becomes even more invested in hiding Red Hood’s identity than Jason is.

Bruce has just been in a constant state of panic for the past three months and he doesn’t know what to fucking do. Dick was concerned for Tim up until he demanded to have dinner with him and his new ‘guardian’ to vet the guy and Jason, who stopped caring about his identity when he realised how much being a working dad agrees with his mental health and is only actively keeping his identity from Bruce for Tim’s pride’s sake, takes off his helmet to eat and Dick stares at him frozen for fifteen minutes across the table before finally pointing at the two and saying ‘you know what? he didn’t even tell me Jason was dead until after the funeral. whatever the fuck’s going on here? he has it coming. proceed.’

STOP THIS IS MY FIC WHY AM I SEEING MY FIC RECOMMENDED IN THE WILD 😭😭😭

Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired. And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.

Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever. Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded. Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him. Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.

The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep. The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature. Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again. There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now. Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough. Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there. But first, where the heck was he? Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was. He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again. It was really becoming a bad habit. Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town. And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion. But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought. He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all. Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety. The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone. "WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job. This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.

Dick was... Well, he wasn't happy about being maybe mildly possessed while picking up snacks for sibling night. But the voice in his mind had sounded so young. Damian's age or maybe even younger. And so so tired. Exhausted even.

And not just sleepy exhausted. That was there too, of course. But underlying the sleepy exhausted was the kind of exhaustion Dick was painfully familiar with. The kind that sleep never cures. That comes from seeing some of the worst the world has to offer. And from giving your all trying to hold the world together as it actively tries to self destruct. The kind of exhaustion that echoed with grief and resignation.

And hearing a voice that young sound that exhausted; supposedly just looking for somewhere to sleep and for some reason inside another person seemed the safest option to them...

Of course, Dick wasn't a fool. He was Nightwing. Robin the First. Trained by the Big Bat himself. Obviously he'd be doing his due diligence to ensure this wasn't some kind of trick. But if it really is just a tired kid looking for a safe night's sleep, Dick isn't going to get all up in arms about it. He'd take all the necessary precautions for the night, which would unfortunately mean cancelling sibling night, and then he'd wait patiently for the kid to wake up so he could get some answers.

.

Future plot point idea I couldn't figure out how to work into the above snippet: If Danny can project thoughts into Dick's conscious mind, who's to say the same won't happen if Danny dreams? Especially if that dream is a nightmare about ghosts and ghost hunters ghost hating parents. And Danny instinctually tries to reach out and seek comfort as it happens, inadvertently giving Dick a front row seat to all his worst fears.

So Duke calls part of his vision based powers Ghost Vision right? Just imagining a sleeping Danny curled in fetal pose superimposed over Dicks heart...

Dick didn't cancel sibling night fast enough and Duke took one look at him and asked who the kid was in front of everyone.

That's it, that's my whole thought. @azulhood @ailithnight @seraphichana Thanks.

It's not like Dick hadn't planned on telling his family. Of course not. Proper precautions and all. He needed a minder tonight in case the case of mild possession turns into something worse.

He just hadn't planned on telling all of them at once and tonight. He didn't want to sic the whole Batclan at once on both himself and the kid. He had hoped to just get one of his siblings to be his minder, feign illness or something and get Jason or Cass to hang with him; then get some answers from the kid in the morning.

And then, if it turned out to be a big deal, get the others involved. After he'd been able to do his own assessment and could confidently curb the worst of the Bat paranoia. This? The sudden scrutiny of all the Bats, that look on Tim's face that said he was already running calculations and forming plans; this was just cruel. Dick was calling betrayal. Betrayal from Duke, his dearest newest brother. Betrayal!

Sooo uhhhh I kind of started writing and didn’t stop writing all day and I combined all these ideas (I plan to write more and get to the nightmare scene, but oops all the characters wanna take turns) and then Dick started experiencing ghost instincts cuz he’s possessed

Warning: this is a lot of words

Dick Greyson had just left the convenience store, arms full of snacks for sibling night, when he felt the rush of cold.

He’d felt this before when sparring against Deadman (most of the JL did spars with the ghost to practice fighting possession) but before he could finish telling him ‘What the fuck! Get out, I don’t need an emergency today I’ve been looking forward to sibling night for ages please find someone else to save the world for once -’

It wasn’t Boston’s thick accent that spoke in his mind.

It was a child.

HEHEHEHE!! Dick Grayson skit 👇 sound on (trust me)

Gotham TikTok

AKA "Danny moves to Gotham and records TikToks with absolutely deranged captions. He films Get Ready with Me in Gotham videos, fit checks, and even A Day in the Life of a Ghost in Gotham! Except everybody is freaking the fuck out in the comments" prompt idea!

No, you don't understand, I'm obsessed. Like, what if Danny's idea of "safe" is just... anything that doesn't actively try to kill him? So Metropolitians, Star City, and Central City citizens are literally biting their nails and sweating bullets every time he posts, because what if he gets merc'd by the "Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag" Red Hood?? And that's one of the nicer villains in Gotham. And Danny's just like wow, this place is niiiiiice, I haven't even been murdered yet!

Maybe Jazz took a 12-year-old Danny to Gotham to escape their parents. Gotham's cheap, dirty, and doesn't ask questions: it's the best place to go to disappear because damn near half the city's population are either super villains, hostages, dead, or vigilantes. She gets a job at an understaffed hospital as a clinical psych intern. She enrolls Danny for online schooling because she's scared a public high school would be too easy for their parents to track.

Which leaves Danny alone for hours. He makes a TikTok account called "Danny Phantom" because, c'mon, he's a kid. And, like most kids, he doesn't really comprehend the idea of a digital footprint or that his account is public, accessible by literally anybody.

He's also a little shit. So, the first TikTok he uploads is of a man getting carjacked, but the caption reads: love to see people helping each other. remember it's always okay to ask for help! it's okay, I don't know how to parallel park, either :)

And you just see this guy in a mask shove a businessman away from his car, gesturing with his gun, before getting into the driver's seat. Except the car is parallel parked so the carjacker just slowly inches back and forth between a Prius and a Honda until he can wedge himself out of the parking space. And then gets stuck in stand-still traffic. The TikTok goes viral. It's talked about on the Gotham news and Gothamites are losing their shit, pointing out the exact moment you can see the carjacker start to soundlessly cuss through the car's windshield or the way the businessman is just... standing on the side of the road, watching with a deadpan look.

Danny doesn't know about it being on the news, but he sees all the comments, likes, reposts, and feels something. He wonders if this is what Ember feels every time people listened to her music. So, he keeps posting. Usually, it's short three-second videos of a hilariously unexpected situation with an even more deranged caption. But then he's accidentally caught in the reflection of a store front while recording and doesn't know, posts it like he always does; only for this TikTok to go viral, too. Because "Danny Phantom" is a child??

He doesn't notice the shift in his comments, but the public opinion quickly changes from wow, Gothamites are just like that huh lol to what the FUCK, kid, get inside!!! anytime he posts.

Except Danny never gets hurt. Even in the most dangerous situations, when you'd think this kid is a goner for sure, he's just happily yapping in the background. He's so different from Gothamites because he lacks that dead-eyed, despair-inducing aura of someone who's lived in a hellmouth their whole lives. (A couple people post that Danny kind of reminds them of Golden Boy Brucie Wayne, all air-headed and unrealistically optimistic, and suddenly there's memes of "what happens when you've never gotten shot in Gotham" or "how i act when Commish Gordie accuses me of shoplifting again" with them side-by-side.)

And then Danny's posts go viral again and again. Danny doing a fit check with a blond-haired woman with a checkered outfit, she ruffles his hair and kisses him on the cheek. A picture of him wearing an old jean jacket with a bright red lipstick smear on his cheek is trending for weeks. Spoiler, fully suited up in an all-purple vigilante attire, and him shoving gas station hotdogs in their mouths. He even has videos of him clearly in Killer Croc's lair, with comments of are you in the sewers??? DANNY??? and he responds, no, i'm in mom & dad's basement :) (Waylon Jones is actually sitting behind him in one of the videos, intently watching a TV show on an iPad.)

Everybody adores Danny - Rogues, Gothamites, even the Bats. (There's at least six videos of Nightwing teaching Danny how to do backflips, handstands, and other acrobatic moves. Even the youngest Robin has been caught on camera quietly talking with Danny, a shocking lack of violence that left half the city's population suffering from cuteness aggression for the kids.)

So, yeah, Danny belongs to Gotham.

But the internet is widely accessible and Danny made it so, so easy to find him. Jazz obviously didn't know he was posting videos of himself publicly; she was too tired after back-to-back 12 hour shifts at the hospital that she hadn't even checked social media in months. Otherwise, she would've told him to be careful, to never show his face or post his real name on the internet. Then again, Jazz would never have expected all of Gotham (and Superman himself, totally endeared by the kid after Kon and Jon showed him a couple TikToks) would beat the absolute shit out of anybody going after Danny.

Imagine GIW's surprise when they track down Amity's former residential Ghost only to find an entire city frothing at the mouth to protect their Phantom.

also while im waiting for my tea to steep, since im petty, and they cant fire me any more than they already have i can tell you about the Button That Makes You Lie To People because i CANNOT stop thinking about it and its driving me fucking nuts

i worked at a fancy gourmet coffee shop, but not everyone who came in knew that or cared, so we’d occasionally get ppl who got all their coffee knowledge from starbuckses. starbuckae? starbukakke

anyway sbux has this thing where they’re literally just wrong about what they call some drinks. for example, a cappuccino is traditionally a double shot of espresso with milk foam, like a few sips of drink, but at starbucks the smallest possible “cappuccino” is 8oz and espresso with that much milk? is really just a bastard latte. 

but to explain that to someone who doesnt know better takes time, and there a line forming, and a latte… is close enough to what someone who thinks of a cappuccino as a 16oz drink is expecting. so if someone asked for a “large cappuccino” we were instructed to go “okay :)”, plug in a large latte, and then, before they could see, scroll down to the secret buttons, the forbidden buttons, the deceit buttons, and press the one called “cappuccino”, in “quotes”, which would not only put a cappuccino on their receipt, but would send a message to the barista, across the room, who would then make a latte, see the pink “cappuccino” indicator, and go 

“large cappuccino? :)” 

and i just, like, that’s just, i love how, food is made up and not real

as a former sbux employee I absolutely love this

While I fail to focus after my night shift have a peek at another of my brain worms

Untitled, I am still waiting for that moment of divine inspiration. Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason)  Fandom: DP x DC 

The only sounds in the Batcave were the bats chittering amongst themselves high above. Bruce rubbed his chin absently as he took in the information displayed on the large screens with narrowed eyes. Something wasn’t adding up. Somebody was lying.

No matter how many times he looked over the information, that was his conclusion. It nagged at him that he didn’t know what, if any, information he could use. He hated being so in the dark. 

A silent notification in the corner of his screen alerted him to a call from the Watchtower. He took it and Superman’s face appeared in a smaller rectangle on the center of the screen. Bruce kept outwardly placid but from behind the cowl nobody would see the way his gaze instantly zeroed in on the massive black eye Superman had acquired, and the general strain around his unhurt eye and mouth. He was worn out. 

“Phantom has been apprehended,” Superman said with a long sigh. It had clearly not been an easy fight. 

Dandy ( @broadwaytheanimatedseries) did an amazing dramatic reading of this, I am seriously so delighted they wanted to do this ❤️

check it out

Super short dp x dc idea

Danny is an Alternative Universe version of bruce Wayne. They get switched through some hijinks and Danny is trying to be Bruce-like and just trying to act like a Good Dad to these children his alternate self has amassed (holy shit). Like, He's doing his best to attend school plays and parent-teachers conferences (because Alfred still reminds Bruce of all of them even if he says he can't make it) and is doing no batman stuff (because Danny is unaware there is even such thing as batman stuff).

Meanwhile, the children are 100% sure Bruce is a) possessed b) concussed c) hypnotized d) any and all of the above.

Danny woke up in a soft bed and stretched. He immediately wheezed as pain all over his body made itself known. Ugh. He must have tangled with Skulker again last night. But why didn't he remember it? And where were Tucker and Sam?

It was the thought of his partners who he usually woke up tangled with that brought his eyes open wide. He was in some kind of mansion, he could tell that immediately. Only rich fruit loop mansions had wood paneling like this. Had Vlad escaped and made another attempt at adopting Danny?

He growled as he slowly sat up. If Vlad had hurt Tucker or Sam he was going to imprison the fruit loop, vampire wannabe in the heart of a black hole.

Bruce woke up with the sound of two other people breathing next to him. He kept himself still and his breathing even as he tried to analyze his situation. He was definitely between two other warm bodies, both with their arms wrapped tightly around him.

While he wasn't wholly unfamiliar with a menage a trois from his wild playboy days prior to adopting Dick, his nights were never actually as wild as the paparazzi liked to pretend, and it had been a long time since he was willing to risk the safety of his kids by bringing multiple partners to his bed.

"It's ok, baby, we've got you." A deep voice murmured in his ear as the person to his left pulled him closer, then the arms across his chest tensed. "Wait, you're not Danny? Sam, wake up."

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

John Constantine had had to fake a marriage with a powerful magical entity to get out of a tight spot. He chose the Ghost King. After all, it’s not like Pariah Dark could contest it from within his sarcophagus

It still hadn’t been a great idea, but hey. It worked. The marriage contract document he’d magicked up had managed to convince them he was telling the truth.

And he thought that’d be the end of it.

But as his gaze met a pair of glowing green eyes from across the dim evening light of his motel room, he realized with mounting horror how wrong he had been.

Even if the man’s aura hadn’t given it away immediately, the ghostly flaming crown atop his head left no room for question.

His information had been wrong. Pariah wasn’t the Ghost King anymore. And whomever this new king was, he had come to take revenge for Constantine’s lies.

He was fucked. And sadly not in the fun way, an unhelpful part of his brain commented, staring appreciatively at the king’s superlative form

Maybe, maybe, he could bargain his way out of this. But if the King attacked, he’d be snapped in half like a twig. Hell, the ghost might not even need to use his powers considering how muscular he was…

He tried to speak, to argue his case, but words failed. Of all the times to become tongue-tied...

The ghost seemed to notice his panic, and grinned. Then, in a teasing voice, he asked, “What? Is it really so strange to see your husband in your bedroom?”

Constantine’s whole face turned scarlet.

The ghost chuckled.

Yep. He was beyond fucked.

did the aliens from star wars just enjoy that band in the cantina playing the exact same fucking song over and over again or was it a situation like that diner with Whats New Pussycat on repeat

considering that han solo was in that cantina, I think we all know the answer

and then when i was about to request the song for the seventh time, my buddy chewbacca, genius that he is, stopped me and said “rrrRrrrghghghhHh”. and that is when the afternoon went from good to great.

and we’re staring at this one guy–greedo–and he’s like staring at his caf cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning, and he’s sitting there and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like oh, like he had just gotten his thirty-day chip from anger management, and he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out, it’s dead quiet, then–and i don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly–DAH duh DAH duh DADADAAAAA–and he goes “goddammit!” and pulls out a blaster

Granny's Sugar Cookies

Summary: Working in Hero Force’s mail room is the equivalent of being a poison taster for monarchs – it wasn’t a matter of if a disgruntled citizen was going to send Hero Force a bomb, but when.

Based off this prompt (X)

--------.

Travis, your supervisor, makes you take Disposal Training every two weeks to keep your skills fresh for the inevitable day something does show up in the mail.

“You’re lucky,” Travis says with his wide arms folded over his chest. He still wears the mail uniform from the 90’s with the pale blue, short-sleeved button down and the darker blue pinstripes. The Hero Force mask covering half of his face is in the new “regulation black” that every Hero Force personnel has to put on at the start of every shift. You hear Travis complain that they won’t let him wear the old brown one a lot. “But luck won’t ever take you further than training, kid.”

You aren’t a kid. In fact, Travis could almost be your kid. Your pension isn’t supposed to start for another three years, so that’s how long you need this job to last. There are rumors that Travis is trying to get you to quit before then as a way to prevent you from collecting retirement benefits from Hero Force. Save the company some money. You don’t think that’s true. You think that the extra training every second week is actually Travis’ way of being kind – you get to sit in the air-conditioned office for two hours and watch the same videos with your feet propped up.

Still, it is unusual that you haven’t opened anything criminal yet. Lots of people cautioned you against taking the job. Your neighbors, friends, your husband…even your eldest -who also works for Hero Force and who suggested it to you in the first place. They said it was the equivalent of being a poison taster for monarchs – it wasn’t a matter of if a disgruntled citizen was going to send Hero Force a bomb, but when.

“I don’t think it happens as often as people think,” you’d told your husband and child when the offer letter came. What you didn’t say was we don’t have a choice. You’d laughed and petted the coffee table. “Now maybe we can think about getting this old thing refinished, hm?”

DPxDC Summoning Gone Wrong

Hi! Long time reader, first time writer. Please don't hate me if it's not super in character. Also I know this trope is overdone but oh well. I was inspired by a text post by @phiniusandjelly

Constantine felt the shift in power instantaneously and all at once. It manifested itself in the form of a cold shiver that started at his hairline and seeped throughout his body bringing with it goosebumps and a cold sweat. Something was deeply wrong. No. Something had changed and unfortunately, as the Justice Leagues’ resident expert on the supernatural, he felt as though somehow he was going to be responsible for getting to the bottom of it. 

Getting all the right information and sigils took longer than he wanted and convincing the rest of the Earth’s mightiest that he hadn’t finally slipped and cracked the fragile state of his already questionable mind took nearly as long. Luckily, Constantine knew if he needed to, he could get tall, dark, and spooky to back him. 

Y’all, there’s a severe lack of fics where Phantom reunites with Dani while being the newest member of Young Justice and Conner sees Phantom being such a good big brother to her despite knowing fully well that she’s his clone and eventually wants to be Phantom’s brother, too.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is,

Prepare yourselves.

The team is watching Ghostbusters at Mount Justice (because Phantom thinks it's funny) to, as Black Canary bid them to, "bond with each other." It's been a couple months since Phantom joined the team, and he seems like a pretty chill dude. Funny, too.

Case in point, Robin only agreed to the movie because Phantom pitched it as a "learning experience." Because apparently it's both eerily accurate and extremely wrong at the same time. Bart and Kon have not been able to hold back their laughs at Phantoms various comments.

Halfway through the movie, however, Phantom seems to perk up before a sharp-toothed smile paints itself on his face--like a cat that just found its prey. Seconds later, Phantom is tackled by an unseen force, density shifting through the couch and tumbling into the kitchen. The team jump up into fighting positions, only to pause at the laughter and cackling.

DPxDC "Pick Me Up"

The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.

Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.

Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.

That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:

"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."

what if Damian wasn’t sent to Bruce by Talia and instead decided to do a bit of early child-rebellion by running away to him himself. Talia, pissed off but too busy dealing with uprisings in the league to go track him down herself, calls up the person Damian is most likely to listen to other than her; his brother, who she trusts to keep him safe.

the thing is, Jason is 1: busy with his own missions atm 2: was also once a rebellious little asshole who liked to run away from home. he was Damian’s tutor once, he knows the kid can handle himself and he also knows if he CAN’T handle something he’ll contact Jason for help. he knows this because about a week before Talia called him, Damian called him.

so Jason tells Talia he’ll ‘keep an eye out for any leads’ and then goes back to his normal business. league missions, his own missions, some outlaw shit, and eventually he ends up crime lording it up in Gotham. he’s a little confused when Tim Drake is seen swinging around as Red Robin rather than just Robin, but he got over his obsession with the Robin shit a while ago, so he ignores it.

until he runs into Batman and Robin. and there isn’t a mask in the fucking world that could hide his kid brother’s face from him.