Stolas's Whining and Why It Doesn't Matter: "Well I understand Stolas is in a tough situation BUT-"
Introduction
Hello All! Amalthea here! While I initially wasn't planning for this to be my "comeback" essay, this is what I want to speak on first because it is genuinely such a frustrating thing I see people bring up. Regardless of if anyone agrees on this essay, I want to speak my piece on it because it's bullshit atp.
One of the many common complaints I see with Stolas specifically during Sinsmas is that he "complains" or "whines" to much.
Is Stolas really "whining"?
The reason I am pulling a definition for this is because what constitutes as "whining" is incredibly important to the context of this post. One of the major things people complain about is the fact Stolas "whines", but by definition the most he does is seem discontent.
Discontent Definition: lack of satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation : lack of contentment
This is what you all are mad at. While yes, Stolas can come off as "whiney", he really isn't whining at all. He's discontent with his situation. He's unhappy with how things panned out, despite being happy he saved Blitz's life.
The major thing I hate is when people will say;
"Well I understand Stolas is in a tough situation BUT-"
Do any of you understand what he's dealing with? What he is grappling with? Let's just- for five minutes put ourselves in Stolas's place. Put ourselves in his mindset.
So firstly, the guy you care deeply about, rejected you and practically broke up with you for doing the right thing and wanting to free him from an unfair agreement.
Despite you doing the right thing, he proceeds to call you a "pompous, rich ASSHOLE?!" You decide you've had enough and simply make him leave so you can handle yourself emotionally.
After said breakup and making it clear you no longer want a relationship in which things are unfair. The man you love not only comes to your home to pressure you for sex, but verbally berates you to feel as if he "earned" what you gave him out of pure love and care.
He proceeds to harass you and get mad at you.
You go to some shitty party to drown your sorrows in alcohol and petty hatred, but that doesn't satisfy you. Your person then comes and tries to comfort your drunk ass, but you proceed to break down, just wanting someone to want you back.
After parting you meet a nice guy and for five minutes forget he exists.
After time apart, you see the man you love, despite everything, about to die and have to rush in to save him because despite the pain, the hurt, the suffering... you love him. You can't let him die.
You give up everything. You lose your child, your home, your sense of security. You gave it all up for him.
So he could come home to his daughter.
You do all of this, without complaint, or regret. You never blame him or anyone else. You own your actions because well they're your choices, no one elses.
You struggle with withdrawals from the medication you need to stabilize your mood. Only for you to run to see your daughter and she not only hates you, but is upset with you for viewing her as an "obligation" and proceeds to deny you the chance to ever explain your side of things.
Now dear viewer, tell me, that if this were you, you also wouldn't be discontent? You wouldn't be angry? You'd just cry and not have a bitch fit once in a while?
Mind you, none of you are living in these conditions. You aren't a former abuse victim or a person who grew up in horrid conditions mentally. You're not Stolas.
But for fuck's sakes you're telling me you also wouldn't be a bit discontent? You wouldn't whine? You wouldn't mourn? You wouldn't be angry at yourself? At the world?
A lot of you are stuck on Blitz's feelings and- it's understandable, but have any of you considered Stolas's lens? Have you ever looked at the story from his point of view?
Why It Doesn't Matter He "Whines"
The reason I have no qualms with Stolas's whining is purely because we all would be him. He is low mentally. He is struggling as a man, as a person.
He is not going to be a perfect victim for you. I apologize, but he doesn't owe you his "best behavior" to feed your moral purity complex. He is doing his very fucking best to maintain himself in an awful position.
Just like a lot of Blitz fans can understand Blitz's trauma response, I need you all to have empathy for Stolas's trauma response. Yeah, that will come out as snide remarks, he's off his fucking meds.
Do not expect him to be his usual quiet and sweet self. He's suffering. For fuck's sakes he cannot be palatable for the sake of liabilities sake. It's not realistic, and I don't know why we're expecting "good behavior" from a man struggling to survive.
Especially considering this man stared death down less than a month ago. He is not in any mental position, nor has he unpacked his trauma to be on his "best behavior".
Surprisingly, the only one being patient is Blitz. Despite Stolas's snide remarks at times and lack of awareness, Blitz doesn't expect Stolas to be perfect or pure. He knows he is struggling. Blitz knows from experience and therefore is not expecting a depressed man who lost everything to be perfect.
As much as I give Blitz bullshit, he is patient and I think a lot of people need to learn from that. Have that patience and grace for others, especially those in a position as dire and desperate as Stolas's.
Think twice before you say; "Well I understand Stolas is in a tough situation BUT-"
