heimdallr morenlike heimBALLER !!!

why are the only people who get it locked inside my phone

love it when I start getting "based on your likes" terf bullshit every few posts and I have to scramble back through my recent likes to figure out what innocuous meme poisoned the well

gender is made up nobody is doomed to any special horrible fate because of how they were born everyone gets to choose how they live their own life trans rights are human rights now TOUCH GRASS

tumblr: I see you've hit "not interested in this post" on the last eight recommended posts I've shown you about how you're innately weak and fragile and surrounded by evil predators that will eat you alive and your life is naturally under the control of the big strong alpha males who rule all of reality and your only freedoms are the scraps they deign to dole out to you because you have no power or agency or ability or value and you're a useless weak little baby who should never go outside in case a Man decides to Hurt You, but hear me out - I think you'll really like this ninth post that says the exact same thing!

thank fuck it's finally worn off, I can go back to scrolling without being constantly flashbanged by people who think feminism is when you do the misogyny to yourself instead of waiting for the boys to do it for you

npd baldr. do you see my vision. do yo-

Save him :(

npd baldr. do you see my vision. do yo-

if you don’t support pebbles the lesbian budgie and her giant wife dni

GIANT WIFE AND TINY WIFE

i beat myself up for not knowing enough about my special interests a lot but then i remember the average person off the street has no idea what the carboniferous is and i feel better

are you really bad at it or are you in "good at it" spaces

Me: ah shit, I misidentified that yellow rumped warbler as a female goldfinch, I should literally be hung at the gallows for this. I'm such an IDIOT

My friend, pointing at a vulture: check out that fucked up crow lol

me (user since 2010) everytime this site is in a 50/50 situation of being nuked every 3 years

Thinking about Freyr being fucking bitchless as fuck nobody want him or his big ass dick

I forgot I had this wip

the reason why the minecraft movie is getting mixed reviews is because jack black doesn't sing "I am placing blocks and shit cause I'm in fucking minecraft"

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.

this has been a very longstanding issue - before the muppet show was even a thing some muppets appeared in commercials, such as rolf the dog they had a continual problem where when people directing/shooting the dogfood commercial would give dirrection to rolf that they would be speaking to the muppet, to which rolf REPEATEDLY had to tell them ‘i cant hear you, you have to talk to him’ and point at the performer underneath him rolf is one of the most embarrassing muppets to need this direction as the performer is this, damn, obvious when not on camera

‘sir, i am a bathroom mat, the man you need to talk to is back there’

I did an interview with Gonzo one time, and when I got into the Zoom call, it was the actor on screen trying to figure out his audio. And then once he did, he went like “OKAY!” and then just like dove to the floor and it was Gonzo and there was never a moment when I doubted that the dude was just Gonzo’s tech guy 

I have met a muppet-like puppet in real life and when I tell you that my brain was hacked FUCKING INSTANTLY..... It was a person, I swear it was a person. I asked it for a hug (no i was not 5 years old, i was like 28 at this time). i genuinely don't know what came over me, it was just. It was a person???? Witchcraft

A couple years ago, I was invited to the birthday party of one of my former preschool students. I decided to bring my teaching puppet (a big rat) along because I knew several other kids from that class would be there, and she was always a huge hit with them.

They were, of course, very excited to see her. But what surprised me was that after the kids ran off to play in the sprinkler, the parents around me struck up conversation with the puppet. They continued for at least fifteen minutes, asking her questions like, "how long have you been teaching?" and "eaten out of any good dumpsters lately?" until one dad exclaimed "why have I been talking to a rat puppet this whole time!"