tw; self harm

Megumi wasn’t depressed, he was just a bit sad. The problem at hand though was that he'd been sad for months. And the only way he could think of to make himself feel better was by cutting himself.

He thought about what a cliche his entire situation was. Stoic emo boy is sad for months and he cuts himself to get rid of the pain.

That never stopped him though. After every inconvenience he knew he could count on his razor.

His razor that gradually pressed deeper into his skin with every passing second. His razor that would make him bleed to the point he'd have to bandage it. His razor that'd he'd curse for making him wear hoodies in the blazing heat of summer. His razor that would bring up concern for the number of bracelets he wore.

"These are sick! When'd you get all these bracelets?" Itadori was carefully examining the bracelets that hid Megumi's left arm. Megumi knew at any second if he tugged at one to harshly, it'd fall and he’d see the mess Megumi made of himself, the true him.

"I've had them for a while. Let go your hurting my hand, Yuuji." Megumi tried not to sound too angry with the invasion in his personal space.

"I'm not done looking-woah! Do these go all the way up to your shoulder? They look like they never end!" Megumi fought every voice in his head shouting at him to tell Itadori let go and stop touching him.

"Yuuji, please. I wanna go back to my room." Megumi complained, trying not to sound like he didn't want Itadori around. Truth be told, he wanted him around all the time. He never wanted to leave his side. Except now when he was moments away from seeing every cut, healed and not, Megumi had.

Itadori dismissed his whining and continued to investigate his bracelets.

"It's been five minutes, I think my bracelets are thoroughly inspected."

"Wait there's one more I want to look at." One more my ass, Megumi thought. That was his response every time Megumi pointed out exactly how many minutes he'd been holding him hostage.

The two continued to bicker back and forth until Gojo disrupted them.

"Heyy you two, what's the problem?" Which was code for don't tell me, just quit arguing.

"Your annoying student doesn't understand the concept of personal space and won't leave me alone." Megumi snatched his arm away from Itadori and left them behind as he walked to his room. Megumi tried to ignore Itadori's response of "He's been so mad with me recently. I try to give him his space but everything I do pisses him off." and Gojo's mumbling of "I don't know what to about it. I'm hoping this is just his angsty teen phase and it'll pass."

So that's what everyone thought of Megumi. It was clear now. They didn't consider what he could be going through. They only thought of him as a rebellious, angry teen. Not a human being with emotions.

But that's okay. He didn't need to seek help or talk to anyone about what he was feeling. He could carve his emotions in his skin.

His pale skin that became filled with cuts and scars everywhere. A reflection of his emotions if you will.

His skin that he would force to take every cut, deep or not.

The skin he was currently pressing his razor into until he could see yellow, the sign that if he goes any deeper, he'll be in trouble. With every passing second blood was drowning his arm, but that didn't matter.

What mattered was that this made him feel better.

Rin never thought of what he did as crazy, he thought of it as blowing off steam without having to physically take it out on anything. Now, he'd never act on his thoughts but whenever his parents lectured him, he couldn't help but think of what'd he do to them.

"You never talk to your dad with respect," Rin's mom was lecturing Rin because apparently, he gave him attitude all the time. When will this fucking bitch shut her mouth, he thought.

That was another problem he had. Whenever he was mad, he became more vulgar. And his thoughts became more violent.

Often times he thought about killing his parents or them dying. His favorite scenario was them getting hit by a train going at full speed.

He wasn't even listening to his mom anymore, just spacing out on her eyes so it looked like he was attentively listening. Instead, he was thinking about how the Menendez brothers even had the guts to kill their parents. Rin chuckled slightly knowing they must've felt the same rage Rin does right now, enough to make them go through with the plan of murdering their parents.

"You think the way you acted towards your dad today is funny?" Rins thoughts were swiped away hearing his moms change of tone in voice. The seriousness was clear in her voice. Rin did in fact not realize he let out a laugh, thinking it was just in his head. Luckily, his mom didn't argue with him about it, since she just loved to defend her good-for-nothing, cheating, shit father of a husband.

Rin wishes he had the courage to kill his parents. He knows Sae Itoshi, the soccer prodigy, the favorite son, could've done it.

Ness didn’t necessarily miss his ex, but he wished things could just go back to how they were.

Ness missed Kaiser's lingering touch whenever he'd pass him something and his fingers ran over his, the way his hand would reassuringly squeeze his thigh when he clearly nervous, he missed all of Kaiser, but he missed nothing about Ness.

Kaiser was Ness's only friend. When he started going out with Kaiser, he dropped all of his friends. He devoted all his time to Kaiser. He did everything Kaiser asked. It was all about Kaiser, Kaiser, Kaiser.

Until it wasn't.

They broke up on January 29th and Ness successfully lasted until March 25th before spiraling into madness. And sadness. He couldn't nail down his feelings, but it felt like a mixture of both.

The slightest thing triggered his emotions, but it was the first interaction they had since the messy break up.

They were in class and the teacher forgot to hand them both a worksheet. They arose from their desks at the same time and made their way to the teachers' desk where she instructed every student who didn't get a paper to get one.

Ness reached his hand out to grab one, but Kaiser beat him to it. He defeatedly put his hand back to his side and planned to wait until Kaiser was done grabbing his paper.

His plan was interrupted when he saw the familiar tattooed hand in front of his eyes. The same hand that he used to run through Ness's hair. Ness quickly grabbed the paper, afraid that Kaiser would take it back if Ness didn't snatch it. Ness muttered an awkward and to quiet "thanks" before rushing back to his seat.

He felt out of breath when and his heart was pounding by the time he was sat in his seat. It's not like he ran a marathon; he wasn't sure why he felt like this. Did Kaiser feel like this? Did he even miss Ness at all?

Ness shamefully looked in Kaiser's direction only to find him laughing with his friends. He caught a glimpse of Kaiser's teeth when he laughed a little too loudly. The same teeth that used to clash with Ness's whenever they'd kiss too quick.

Kaiser recently dyed his hair again, still the same color just a touch up. Ness wondered if he got a friend to do it for him or if he went to a stylist. Whoever it was though should be deemed lucky to even get near Kaiser.

Ness didn't know he was still admiring Kaiser until he recognized the eyes looking back at him. The same eyes that used to soften whenever Ness was around. Ness felt a rush of excitement from the attention but remembered he shouldn't, because Ness isn't his anymore.

Ness was a memory. Nothing more than a failed relationship.

Sakusa sat crisscrossed on the couch in the living room. The T.V was turned off and he was able to see his reflection in it. The lack of sun and dim lighting admitting from the almost burnt-out bulbs weren't helping Sakusa’s funky mood he was in. The living room was so empty, so devoid of life that it made him sad. It wasn’t always like this, was it?

“Kiyoomi, come on! Help bring the chairs into the living room!" Kiyoomi's sister begged him from where he comfortably laid on the couch. He dramatically rolled his eyes knowing she wouldn't stop bothering him before joining his brother in the kitchen where he held a chair in each hand.

"We've tried to build a fort every day and every time, without fail, it collapses. When will she learn?" Kiyoomi's brother whispered to him making sure their sister won't hear him. Kiyoomi laughed thinking about how yesterday they almost perfected their fort, but his brother tugged a little too hard on a blanket causing the domino effect for every other blanket.

He carried the last chair to the living room and waited for instructions from his sister.

"I think we just need to put a chair in every spot where the blankets lay low and for the corners of the blanket, we can tuck it under the legs of the chairs." His sister said, resting her hand on her chin. When his older brother gave her the look of approval they got straight to work.

Kiyoomi and his older siblings spent an hour before their tent was made according to his sisters' specifications.

"Put a chair in the middle, the blanket is literally touching the floor." His sister directed her demand towards his brother. He grumbled something prior to aggressively shoving a chair under their fort. His brother walked out from under the fort and to everyone's surprise it didn't immediately come crashing down.

His sister jumped up and down in joy as Kiyoomi and his brother looked at each other, laughing to themselves. They were about to begin the task of putting pillows on the floor of the fort to act as a cushion before their sister pulled them both into a group hug.

"Ugh-let go! I'm losing my balance!" Kiyoomi's brother groaned in his sister's ear.

"Seriously, let go-" He was soon cut off by the crash of a chair hitting the floor. The beginning of his fall started with him landing on top of a blanket then ended with him hitting the floor, bringing down the chair that the blanket was tucked under.

"You ruined it!" His sister screeched.

"You wouldn't let go!" His brother pointed a finger, still on the floor.

Kiyoomi watched his siblings bicker going back and forth, laughing at the ridiculous sight.

He took moments like that for granted.

Now, his siblings were moved out, their rooms replaced with newly painted walls, their closets were cleaned out, their rooms were stripped of their personality which was all Kiyoomi had left of them.

Now, their living room was clean. The blankets were neatly folded and placed behind the couch. The chair that held a permanent dent from his brothers' fall were replaced by new, expensive chairs.

Sakusa kept his eyes on his reflection of the T.V, wishing that he could relive moments like that. Before they changed, before they cut contact with him, before they left him behind, before they forgot about him.

Sakusa let the weight of the pill lay on his tongue. He could feel it dissolving every second but he never took it out his mouth.

"You good?" Atsumu had turned his head so he could get a good look at Sakusa. Sakusa didn't satisfy him with a reply until he realized Atsumu wasn't going to look away until he said something.

"Awesome." The sarcasm was clear.

"Yer’ such an ass. Can never give me a real answer." Atsumu laid back against the couch, his head flopping on the cushion. What the hell was Sakusa supposed to say? When he agreed to hang out with Atsumu he didn't expect to be on his couch, taking a xanax like it was candy.

An hour had passed when Atsumu and Sakusa could feel the effects of the xanax finally catching up to them. Sakusa's shoulders were less tense compared to how they were when he first arrived and Atsumu had changed positions entirely. His head was resting on the arm of the couch while his legs resigned in Sakusa's lap. They stared blankly at the T.V in front of them that played a cartoon.

"Used ta' love this show. Watched it with Samu'." Atsumu slowly slurred as if he was having trouble talking.

"Mm." Was all Sakusa had to offer in response. Atsumu leisurely turned his head to look at Sakusa. This was the calmest he’s seen him considering he always had a resting bitch face or was extremely concentrated in practices and games. His hair was a little messy from going straight to Atsumu’s place after practice. Atsumu would even argue that he looked beautiful like this.

By now Sakusa felt eyes boring into the side of his face. He turned his head ever so slightly until he was staring back at Atsumu. Neither of them dared to say anything, comfortable in the silence they created.

“You’re not so bad when you finally shut your mouth.” Sakusa said quietly, barely allowing Atsumu to hear him. He found pleasure in watching the heat rise to Atsumu’s cheeks and ears. Atsumu searched his mind for a reply but everything he thought of saying would’ve ruined the mood. Luckily he didn’t have to say anything because he saw Sakusa’s mouth open once again.

“You don’t have to say anything. I see you looking at me during practice when you think you’re so slick.” Atsumu was taken back by the undeniable accusation.

“Maybe the drug is tricking you into thinking all the times I was looking at the ball I was actually looking at you.” Atsumu felt like the words were taking hours to come out his mouth and he was relieved when his mouth was shut.

Sakusa smiled at him and brought Atsumu’s legs back into his lap realizing they fell sometime during their conversation. Atsumu relaxed into his touch and they enjoyed this night together, silently vowing to not bring it up after this.

itoshi brothers/if sae went to the military

Rin loved soccer, but he loved it more with Sae.

Although he’d never admit it, Rin loved knowing that him and his brother shared the dream of becoming the world’s best strikers. At least they used to share that dream.

Rin couldn't say he knew everything there was to know about his brother, but he thought he knew the basics such as what Sae wanted to do with his life. Becoming the world's best striker was no longer his priority, but joining the Marines was.

When Sae gathered his family at the dining table, the last words they expected to come out their son and brothers' mouth was,

"I want to join the Marines." Of course, Rin was devastated. He planned his entire soccer career around Sae. His parents on the other hand, they carefully masked their disappointment. Ever since Sae was a kid it was all about soccer, so why the sudden change?

July 16th was when Sae left for bootcamp. Rin would never forget that date. The drive to his recruiter's office was excruciatingly long. The entire day felt like a fever dream from waking up at 5:00AM to the drive home. Rin would argue that the drive home was worse than having to say goodbye to his brother. It was silent with occasional sniffling from crying. Usually on a road trip, his parents would break the silence asking him or his brother questions leading to a conversation that would only end when they reached their destination. But from now on that wouldn't happen. Road trips would be silent, the house will be quieter than it already was, and there would be no more late nights spent with Sae. Since it was summer Rin would sneak to Sae's room and check if he was awake, which he almost always was. They would talk about anything for hours on end without getting bored.

But last night was different. The night started off normal with them sparking up a conversation about soccer but drifted towards different topics as the night carried on. It was 3:47AM. Rin couldn't forget the time of his mistake. How could he when this was his biggest regret? The topic of bootcamp came up when Sae admitted he was scared. Obviously, he had done intense training for soccer, but he knew what he was going to experience would be nothing in comparison to the calm soccer camps he had attended. As this discussion went on Rin could feel the tears swelling up in his eyes and his throat becoming sorer by the second. Rin was grateful when the conversation ended, and the room fell silent. He said goodnight and made his way towards his room. As soon as the door behind him shut, his eyes became a waterfall. What was he going to do without his brother? He was the only person he had in his life. In everyone else's eyes, including Rins, Rin was a social reject. He had no friends, and definitely no life outside of soccer and his brother. So there Rin sat on the floor, his back against the door, with endless tears streaming out his eyes.

July 15th was a mistake Rin would have to live with for the rest of his life. Rin knew it was Sae's last day home. Possibly the last time he'd ever see him again. Rin knew Sae hated his family, why would he visit home? Even with that information in mind, Rin ended his night with Sae early.

Rin knew deep down that he only left his room because he didn't want Sae to see how weak he was. Sae wouldn't hold him in his arms, reassure him, and wipe his tears for him, he'd awkwardly stare at Rin as if he had three heads. These words would always remain unspoken though. Rin could never admit the reason he made what he claimed "the biggest regret ever" was for his own selfish reasons.

tw; self harm

It was no secret Megumi hated his body. Everyone caught on with all the jokes he made about himself saying how he was eating too much, he needed to train more, and with the gagging in the bathroom.

It was hard for Itadori to ignore the noises with his room being directly next to Megumi's. Even though Itadori knew what Megumi did, there was a silent agreement to never talk about it. That same agreement went for every time Itadori caught a peek of Megumi's arms. Every day there seemed to be more, like Megumi was trying to cut the fat from his body. He knew he needed to tell someone before it got out of control and, God forbid, Megumi tried to kill himself. But he couldn't betray his friend like that. He knew Megumi would cut contact with him completely if Itadori told someone, even if it was for the best. So the answer was simple.

He'd let Megumi slowly destroy himself every day, little by little.

Komori wasn’t sure when he started to hate his cousin, but he knew it was around the time people began to only refer to him as “Sakusa’s cousin.”

Komori watched Sakusa's face as they stepped onto the court. They worked so hard to make it to the last round of nationals, yet Sakusa couldn't even muster a fucking smile, even if it was fake. Komori grinded his teeth to refrain himself from starting an argument with his cousin about how ungrateful he looks among the rest of the team gleefully smiling even if the nervousness was obvious in their face.

Of course, Itachiyama won. It was too late at night for any restaurant to be open though, so the team agreed to eat together tomorrow. Everyone parted their ways while Komori and Sakusa headed in the same direction to the parking lot. Sakusa's parents offered to take Komori home and he gladly accepted. They threw their stuff in the trunk and relaxed into the comfortable seats of the car.

"So? Good game, huh?" Komori nudged Sakusa's shoulder as he grinned.

"I guess. I could've played better." Komori rolled his eyes at his stoic reply. Here goes his self-pitying act. Even though he could've left it at that he decided to entertain Sakusa tonight.

"Yeah, almost fucked up on getting us our winning point." Komori figured this was the only safe dialogue option, making a joke and calling him out on reckless playing.

"Like you were any better. You played so terribly I don't even know where to start." Sakusa scoffed at Komori and turned his head, looking out the window. Komori shrugged off Sakusa's empty words and whipped out his phone. He made the mistake of going on Twitter where it was all highlights of Sakusa's playing. Of course he did what any other person would do, read every single one of them. Each time he clicked on a new article he felt heat bubble to his face. He was sitting next to what an article called him, "Itachiyama's Star Player: The One Carrying His Team to Victory." Like he scored most of the points, Komori thought. A while ago Komori picked up the habit of counting each point Sakusa scored so he could beat him in the next game. It started off as a silly game that quickly escalated to Komori basing his playing skills on how much points he scored rather than his technique. For all the work Komori put into volleyball he should be on the same level as his cousin, not grouped into the players who got lucky enough to snag a spot on a team that played as great as they did. One article in particular even referred to Komori as "The Cousin Who Got Left with No Talent." How ridiculous was that to say about the top high school libero in Japan? These people act as if Sakusa's the only one on the court, like he's the only one getting their team points. Komori was the one who introduced Sakusa to volleyball. Komori should be getting praised for practically creating who Sakusa is today.

Komori hated his cousin so much he wanted to be him.

Megumi was in fourth grade when it first happened. He was at the school's book fair with Tsumiki. The selection was quite boring this year, so he opted for following his sister around. She started to ramble about the absurd price of something, but her words were drowned out by Megumi. He was struck by a feeling as if he wasn't in his own body. He wasn't sure what came over him in that moment, but he felt like he was watching himself through another person's eyes. He hadn't known he'd been stuck in this state of mind until he was sat at a table with Gojo. Ever since Gojo took Megumi and Tsumiki in, it'd become a weekly routine for the pair to review schoolwork every Friday.

"Megumi?" Gojo twirled the pencil in his hand waiting for a response from him.

"Hm?" Megumi snapped his head up upon hearing his name being called. Megumi didn't hear Gojo's next question, being too distracted by the suffocating feeling that was him being inside his body. He felt like his skin was choking him and he itched a particular spot until it began bleeding. He wiped the blood on his jeans and focused his attention on Gojo.

“Megumi seriously, I need to know if you have this concept down. Math only gets more confusing as you learn it.” Gojo rubs his temple, visibly frustrated with Megumi’s short attention span. Megumi looks down at the paper filled with unfamiliar equations. He doesn’t remember learning any of this.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah what, kid.”

“I get it.” Gojo forces a smile at the confirmation and pushes the chair out from under him filling the room with a squeaking noise. Megumi watches him slam the door to his bedroom before crumpling the paper and throwing it in the trash.

Megumi knew he would soon return to that state, a foggy mind, not remembering anything, it’d be a much more peaceful life if he could just stay like that forever though.

In all honesty, Reki was tired. Tired of getting asked questions about why he quit skateboarding, tired of being asked why he won't make a new board for someone, and tired of getting asked what he was going to do in life if not skateboarding.

Everyone who plans to skateboard their entire life is an idiot, he thought. He could understand if Langa decided to do that but even Langa wasn't guaranteed a successful life in skateboarding. Everybody had to go to college, get a job, and stick with that career for the rest of their life. That was the problem. The end of Reki's high school career was inching closer and he still hadn't decided what he wanted to do.

Eighth grade is when adults started asking what he planned to do in the future. He expressed an interest in Psychology and even took a Psychology class freshman year. He thought he finally found his calling but the more he researched about it and as he started his AP Psychology class in sophomore year, the more he was turned off by Psychology. He ended up switching that class for an art elective. He hated art but not more than staying in a class that he loved but didn't understand.

When he picked up skateboarding it was only because he needed an outlet. He needed an escape from everything. Of course, he'd dream of becoming a pro skater and making it in the Olympics, but that was a foolish dream. The final nail in that coffin was when Langa came along. Reki taught him everything he knew yet Langa was still better than him. After seeing how well Langa was doing, Reki knew it was time to quit. Skateboarding had controlled his entire life; at some point he had to get serious about his future. His skateboard became a mere decoration in his room. A reminder of what he would never compare to.

It started with Isagi, Rin, Hiori and Nanasae all practicing together but ended with Isagi and Rin laying on the floor, exhausted, while the other two remained on the field. Somehow the match turned into Rin and Isagi competing against each other, ultimately ending with the duo burnt out when they were nowhere near the end of training. As Isagi pesters Rin, he wonders why he ever agreed to train with them anyway.

“Come on Rin! You have to have a thing for someone here! You can tell me!” Isagi practically wiggles his eyebrows as he sits cross-legged in front of Rin who’s in the same sitting position.

“Even if I did, which I don’t, I wouldn’t tell you.” Rin growled back. Isagi leans in closer to his face and smirks.

“Is it Chigiri? He’s basically the default crush for everyone since he looks like a girl.” Isagi whispers. Rin gives Isagi a look signaling for him to drop it. Isagi defensively puts his hands up and backs away from Rin’s face. They sit in silence, neither bothering to break it until Isagi follows Rin’s eyes trying to figure out what he’s been looking at since they sat down. He does all but jump up and hug Rin when he figures it out.

“HIORI?! I think it’d be awesome for you two to get together!” Isagi lowers his volume when he saw Rin’s face, unsure if it was from embarrassment or Hiori.

“Shut up lukewarm idiot! I don’t have a thing for that guy.” Rin fights the urge to punch the smirk off Isagi’s face. He notices Isagi’s mouth begin to open and concludes that whatever he says next will only embarrass him. With this information he gets up to practice with Nanasae and Hiori, thinking he left Isagi behind until he feels a hand on his shoulder and whispering in his ear.

“I’ll talk to him for you.” Rin pushes Isagi off him and ignores the blush creeping up to his ears and cheek. In just a week Isagi managed to have Rin and Hiori eating together, training together, and sneaking around to see each other away from everyone else.

Bachira sets his tray next to Isagi who’s third wheeling the couple.

“I’m guessing that’s your doing?” Bachira puts on a familiar grin pointing his finger to the pair in front of him. Isagi catches Rin’s eye and watches as he whispers something to Hiori.

“Ah. Young love.” Hiori says loud enough for Isagi to hear but quiet enough for Bachira to not hear as he flails his arms while telling a story.

“Shut up, a week ago you guys weren’t even speaking and look where you are now.” Isagi whispers low enough for Bachira to not realize they were having an entire conversation without him.

“What I’m hearin’ is that you want us to repay the favor.” Hiori switches his look between Isagi and Bachira. Isagi rolls his eyes, secretly hoping Rin and Hiori will keep their word and repay the favor for Isagi and Bachira.

Atsumu stared at the cloud of smoke in front of him becoming larger as Sakusa exhaled. When he suggested they smoke together to relieve some stress of the season, he hadn’t expected for Sakusa to be experienced.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Sakusa snaps Atsumu out of his thoughts. It became habit for Atsumu to watch Sakusa repeat the motion of inhaling and exhaling. Atsumu dryly laughs at his comment before taking another hit of whatever cheap dispo he got talked into buying this time. The guy at the gas station always roped him into buying what he hadn’t sold.

“Didn’t take you for a smoker.” Atsumu pushes Sakusa’s shoulder with his own.

“Smoked weed back in college, hated it but tried it again after I graduated. Guess I matured.” Sakusa brings the blunt back to his lips and Atsumu can’t help but stare at how his mouth closes around it. He shakes his head as if he’s physically getting rid of the thought. Sakusa’s his friend not his damn lover.

“Ya know, Suna has the good shit. Can probably get ya a friend discount or somethin.” Atsumu doesn’t hear what Sakusa says, too distracted by his laughing. Sakusa’s smile grew big enough for Atsumu to see the fang in his mouth and the corner of his eyes crinkle. He runs his hand through his freshly bleached hair and accepts his fate. No matter how long it’ll take, Atsumu will wait for Sakusa. Because even with his red eyes and lowered eyelids and his speech that was starting to slur, he was beautiful. So beautiful that he was willing to wait until Sakusa was ready for him.

To simply put it, Atsumu was going crazy. Who wouldn’t be under these circumstances? The person who he claimed to be the love of his life, the one he was going to marry, the only person he could imagine a future with, had not texted him back in two weeks after 3 months of nonstop texting!

“I can’t believe him.” Atsumu scoffs as he paces in the shared room.

“You had to have seen this coming. He isn’t exactly the settle down and commitment kind of guy.” Osamu speaks from under the blanket coddling him. Osamu can hear his brothers pacing stop and he lets out a sigh of relief until he feels his bed shift on the side of him. He lazily turns around to see brown eyes staring back at him.

“Yer’ not listening! He was the love of my life and now he won’t even text me.” Atsumu pouts.

“If yer’ really serious about this then text his cousin, Komori wasn’t it? I coulda’ sworn i heard you talk about him.” Atsumu jumps up from his twins bed and shouts something as he leaves the room.

Atsumu turns his phone down after sending Komori a text. He finds himself being too distracted by the show on the TV to notice the buzzing coming from his phone.

“Are you gonna answer that? Maybe it’s the love of your life.” Osamu chuckles to himself after seeing Atsumu jump at his phone in hopes its Sakusa.

“Hello?”

“Hey whats up? Trouble in paradise?” Atsumu can practically hear the smile coming from Komori.

“Actually, yes.”

“Ooh. Intrigue.”

“It’s all so weird. He hasn’t replied to me in two weeks and I haven’t texted since in case he got his phone taken or something.” Its silence on the other end until Atsumu asks if he’s still there.

“Yeah. He’s been texting me though. I hate to say it but-”

“I know, he’s probably ghosting me. Whatever. Nothing out of the ordinary.” Atsumu dramatically sighs before continuing his conversation with Komori.

The call ends when Atsumu hears the whirring of the garage signaling his mom has come home. He listens to the second round of whirring as it closes knowing he’ll have to hear his mom complain about her new job for the umpteenth time. His mom sets down her purse on the table and plops herself on the couch. She kicks off her heels and lays her head back. Osamu comes out from his room where he’s been resigning all day, occasionally coming out for a snack. 

“Hey ma’. How was work?” Osamu greets, joining Atsumu. She gives a disgruntled groan before she begins her complaining. Atsumu tunes her voice out thinking about the plan he and Komori created. Komori said that since Sakusa spends an extra hour in the school gym practicing, Komori can use that time to pick up Atsumu then bring him back to the school where Sakusa would be forced to talked to him. The whole thing reminded Atsumu of a middle school girl sneaking around to see her boyfriend. He couldn’t explain it any other way, it was such a dumb plan yet he was already planning what he was going to say to Sakusa when he saw him tomorrow.

Atsumu twiddled his thumbs waiting for the doorbell to ring. Could Komori be any slower? Was this even a good idea? I mean, he was obviously not texting Atsumu back for a reason, would going to his school to confront him really be a wise idea?

“Atsumu?” He jumped hearing his name but his shock turned into confusion upon seeing Komori in his house.

“Sumu come on, let’s go!” Komori dragged Atsumu by his arm until he was sat in the passenger seat of Komori’s car. They made small talk but Atsumu was too focused on the headache that was forming. He didn’t even notice when the car had stopped and they were already at the school.

“Dude, come on? You’ve been weird since I’ve picked you up.” Komori shakes Atsumus shoulder.

“I shouldn’t do this. Let’s go. If he really wanted to talk to me he would’ve by now.”

“Don’t be a pussy when we’ve already gotten this far. You know Sakusa. He was never good at expressing himself. If you really knew him you would know this is the right thing to do. Now he’ll be forced to talk to you.” Komori slams the car door forcing Atsumu to follow him. They walk until they’ve reached the double doors of the gym. Of course the gym has double doors, they did go to a private school after all.

“He’s coming! Do you need a quick pep talk? The team tells me I’m really good at them.” Komori talks at an incredibly fast pace. Atsumu doesn’t hear the pep talk Komori begins to give but only focuses on Sakusa. He can barely see him through the doors because of how dark it’s gotten outside. As he gets closer to opening the double doors his figure becomes more clear.

“Shit! He’s coming, hide! Hide!” Atsumu whisper shouts as he pushes Komori into the nearest bush with him following behind.

“What? What about the big plan?” Komori snaps back.

“Shh!” Atsumu presses his finger to his own lip.

“Now what are you gonna say when he finds us in a bush? Your hair is practically screaming “Notice us!”” Komori pinches Atsumu. Komori tries his hardest to ignore the thorns and sticks poking at his arms and legs. Komoris yammering becomes as insignificant as a buzzing fly when Atsumu sees the sight in front of him.

“I don’t think I have to worry about it anymore.” Atsumu says no louder than a whisper. Atsumu looks at the girl who pushes Sakusa’s curls behind his ear and all he can think is that should’ve been him. He watches the girl who playfully pushes Sakusa, throw her head back, dramatically laughing. Even with a school uniform on she was nothing less than gorgeous. Atsumu couldn’t help but continue staring as Sakusa opened the car door for the girl. It was like a car crash, Atsumu thought. As bad as it was he couldn’t look away. Even when Atsumu had to resort to looking at the pair through the windshield of Sakusa’s car, he couldn’t help but stare. Not even when Sakusa pressed his lips against the girls.

He never stood a chance.