not active often regardless, but school comes with depression hand in hand hence the creation of this blog!!

Hiya!! I’m vee or yui!! She/her and I’m a minor (13-18)

My main is @veestar4911 I’m much more positive there el oh el!!

Can’t be bothered to tag properly, don’t report or smthg js block!!

I CANNIT STRESS THIS ENOYGH IF YOU KNOW ME OFF OF TUMBLR… FUCK. OFF. I’M NOT JOKING. This is my safe space don’t fucking ruin it for me, I don’t get anywhere else to express myself please let me have this one thing I beg. (unless ur vis)

also mention I struggle with intense hyper sexuality I will cut off posts I talk abt that in # 🍭

lore drop: my parents beat the ever living shit out of me the one and only time they caught me trying to kill myself and made me sleep in the backyard <33 i remb being severely concussed and bruised. it’s one of the few things i remb from my childhood is getting beat i genuinely wish i could say i remb any of my childhood but it’s all gone really i can’t remember anything before yr 7 except the bad stuff eg. bullying, being left on the side of the road, not having friends, my first anxiety attack, my first actual panic attack and my parents sending to therapy for a couple months before pulling me out bc i was “fine”

i wish i could say it was the curse of the odd years that made my mental health horrible but i tried killing myself in 2022

yk what’s the worst, being depressed for no fucking reason bc my life is great!! my parents love me and care for me and so does my little brother, i’m fairly liked now by my classmates i have great friends who love me i have a dog. who’s the cutiest i can have anything i could ever desire and more and yet i still choose to be a depressed bitch like what the fuck is my problem, i have no real reason to feel like shit all the time i’m such an ungrateful fucking whore i’m the problem i’ve always been the problem ikm such a bitch a horrible fucking person i hate myself

the anxiety is so bad i’m shaking most the time, my hairs falling out and i feel like i’m having heart palpitations making appetite go away.

i hate it why am i so anxious i used to love camping but i feel so anxious to leave my home i don’t like this

the new blade sting, stings so good i shivering in excitement it felt so good it still stings i love it

everyday is the same everyday i do the same thing over and over and over again wake up my mom tells me to do chores first thing, i finish those sit down for a minute before my mom tells me to take out the dog, i do it. i ask if i can walk a little longer bc the weather is nice she yells at me but lets me go anyway. i comfort my mom bc she feels lonely and depressed. bedrot for the rest of the time dreading doing my fucking holiday homework bc i’m stressed about not being able to finish it and getting in trouble while balancing an active ed and self harming multiple times a day bc i’m so anxious all the time to the point i just don’t even feel real. my friend said that’s called derealizing. they explained to me how it works and everything matched up. its like a feeling when you feel out of your body like nothing around you is real or everything is nothing but a foggy dream. i hate it, it feels so weird. and i’ve started hearing voices fuck me bro the hallucinations are back and so is my stutter i’m going insane i’m going insane i can’t do this what’s wrong with my why is this happening and apparently i’m “fine”

i don't feel real its so weird like I constantly feel like I'm controlling a character instead of living a life like playing a first person type game.

ik this is sooooo fucking cringe rn but i HATEE being an empath. i keep showing empathy to everyone even to people i’m supposed to hate gc they’re objectively hate bc i HATE demonising people everyone has the chance to get better to some extent and it’s not fair to them to suffer bc they don’t know how to get better and then they get worse and it’s lose lose. i hate it. i hate having to care abt everyone else’s perspectives before even considering my own bc i fell subhuman

i hate being me 😻

i keep relapsing FUCK 3-4times per day is just so pathetic and humiliating gosh

i relapsed, i relapsed after being clean for almost 2 weeks

bruh what are my grades rn i’m actually flopping wtf i’m gonna kms