Blonde person with yellow popsicle: can somebody tell me how the fuck you make friends after high school?
Brunette person with glasses: Show up somewhere regularly. The reason you make friends in high school is because you see the same people everyday. The reason you make friends at work is because you see the same people everyday. If you want to make friends as an adult, go to the same cafe every week, or go to a calligraphy class. If you don’t want to leave the house you can just go to the same twitch stream everyday that’s what I do, and I’ve made friends there. If you are a familiar face in a place where people share your interests, you’ll make friends.
This is 100% correct. Please follow this advice. Seek out something you find interesting and consistently interact with people who do as well.
it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply so not enjoy being treated like shit.
Gif sets are SO important to me. Yes, please take this scene and break it up into 4 or 6 three second loops that I can study over and over to appreciate the small details of it
Huge thank you to gif makers!!! I’ve tried making gifs and it’s hard. Excellent work you put out there!
Something I've heard more than once... :->
NASA released the clearest pictures yet of our neighbours in the solar system
Oh and of course us
Honourable mention
The problem with bluesky is that I already didn't like twitter before all that stuff happened
ed & stede + being dramatic ass theater kids
Stede doesn’t abandon community…
The pirate cultures of Zheng, Low, and Blackbeard (plus Izzy’s brief stint) all work via closed systems. Closed systems control by a specific set of top-down rules with little acceptance for spontaneity or individuality. Systems external to the unit are viewed with suspicion and resisted (Izzy’s resistance to Stede’s way; Zheng’s ‘join us or die’). It’s not surprising. They all likely grew up in closed family systems and replicate that in their adulthood through the culture of the ships they run. It also just… makes sense. It’s how countries are run, empires. People at the top create the rules, everyone else obeys or else.
Which is what makes Stede’s way so unique.
He does something amazing. Something entirely different it seems without reference or blueprint other than having a Big Think About It.
Because Stede absolutely grew up in a closed-family system. There was no room to be anyone other than his father’s replicant. And when that clearly wasn’t going to be the case, he is abused for not conforming, letting the side down. He also lives in a society which is a closed system - white patriarchal hegemony - and finds himself bullied as a child, and then trapped as an adult, within its tight behaviour rules.
And then he asks ‘What if it weren’t like that?’
When Ed first lands on the Revenge, and sees this ‘bunch of wild characters on the high seas’, he is struck by their lack of conformity. Sure, everyone appears to be wearing rope (hyperbole), but it’s not a directive, it’s idiosyncrasy.
However such behaviour coupled with spontaneity cannot be comprehended or tolerated by Izzy - the poster boy for closed-family systems - and he perceives it as an existential threat. Ed though catches the bug immediately with his joy at Stede’s curios and ‘Wanna do something weird?’ Yet some days even Ed can’t keep up. There are few rules. Just decide on a whim we’re going on a treasure hunt. Everyone’s just wandering around doing their own thing that day…
This is what open family looks like. Members are interdependent, but each able to maintain their own identities, and explore who they are. Stede never gets involved in the minutiae of interpersonal relationships on the ship. And the crew have a voice, but there is also accountability. Stede chastises in-fighting amongst the crew, and redirects or models a better way. It’s sometimes flawed, but it’s never punitive and there’s a culture of forgiveness.
Just look what Stede gave to the crew of the Revenge, even in his absence…
At the end of season 2, Stede doesn’t abandon the crew. In an open family you can leave and still be part of a wider community. Despite physical separation, Ed and Stede are still part of that community because they choose to be, and because they live by the same philosophies. This is what an open family looks like. The crew leave via their own agency, but take Stede’s ethos with them. And it’s not a dogmatic ethos. It’s a living, fluid thing. Stede has given his crew the tools to build their own community their own way.
Here’s the thing about closed families - you can never leave. Or be different. Or assert your own needs. It’s viewed as betrayal. I wonder if that’s what’s upsetting some people into thinking the crew of the Revenge have been abandoned, because they think community is about physical distance. You can be abandoned by people in very close-proximity - Ed learned that the hard way via Izzy.
Stede hasn’t abandoned anyone. In the very first episode he talks about helping the crew grow as people. They have grown to the point where they don’t need him in the same way as before. He basically says Here, take my ship as yours, and go live what I taught you. That’s not abandonment, that’s empowerment.
This could save your life.
BOOST.
Absolutely vital information to have if you live where the waters freeze over.
I especially appreciate this guy's commitment to actually showing the steps himself. That cold-shock response is a bitch and willingly subjecting himself to it couldn't have been fun.
I don’t live anywhere near water like this, but I am still memorizing this knowledge because:
* I might use it in a story someday.
* Any knowledge that staves off the dying is good knowledge.
I thought some more about what I said about Ed not being able to use wealth to enter into imperialist society, but it's even more complicated than that, of course. He is barred from it because he is brown and working class; his mother (more or less correctly) tells him that they simply cannot have those fine things. Within that society, the only way Ed can obtain finery (and the privilege of enjoying it) is by stealing it.
We see in "The Best Revenge is Dressing Well" the degree to which Ed is disrespected despite appearing and behaving as a gentleman - and despite being more sophisticated than the venal, violent French aristocrats. But even Olu and Frenchie, who pass themselves as royalty, are referred as "clean Africans" and don't apparently rank place settings at the dinner table. They remain excluded by virtue of their skin—the French will only treat them as exotic novelties, and it’s this which Frenchie knows to exploit.
The obvious counterpart to Ed is Stede, who of course can purchase the trappings of piracy and enter into the pirates' space, but cannot be immediately accepted within it (to the point that it nearly kills him). Stede does have the privilege to be able to cross class barriers, and return to a space where Ed cannot follow.
But I think another comparison is Izzy, who is working class but is also white. And Izzy's whiteness affords him privilege in negotiating with the British - even going so far as to suddenly become "Captain Hands" and be rewarded both with Ed's custody and Stede's ship by the British navy. It's notable that Ed, who is Blackbeard and therefore of greater fame and wealth than Izzy, has his freedom negotiated by Izzy and his body rewarded to Izzy, against his will. Ed’s final recourse is to sell himself, at a price he sets, rather than be sold—but he is still treated as an acquisition (as, in some ways, is Stede, who has failed the tests of white patriarchy by joining with and being accepted by his crew).
The show draws clear connections between marginalized groups without claiming that one character is The Most Oppressed. Ed is suitably masculine and therefore lauded, but his brownness excludes him from the benefits of empire. Stede is white and wealthy, but his femme-ness excludes him from patriarchy. They are all considered less than human because of their failures to be straight white cis men—commodities to be bought and sold, pieces of entertainment to be laughed at and discarded, or aberrations to be destroyed. All of the Revenge crew step out of line by existing as themselves rather than what patriarchy requires of them.
In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.
P.S: Don't like! Reblog! <3
