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Bee Bread

@beep-beep-boops

Bee or Bread’s the name
Any pronouns please
Art account is bee-bread-draws!
𓆞𓆝 𓆟

I haven’t done anything for 4 hours but watch whatever cartoon loads up next so anyways there’s a whole episode of american dad bout klaus the fish dating an ancient malevolent wraith

alright so he was super in love with her but he found out she’s just bound to whoever holds this cursed artifact he bought and therefore she never had any agency in their relationship, which he didn’t know because all she could do is shriek and he was inferring whatever he wanted to hear. He shatters the item to set her free and she tries to kill everyone but now that he can talk to her for real he finds out what she’s really into is baseball trivia so they go on a baseball road trip as platonic friends and that’s how the episode ends

What is the science behind benches making your ass cold through 5 warm layers

A lot of the warmth in your "warm layers" is air. Air pockets make fantastic insulation. If you sit down, the weight of your body forces a lot of that air out and the cloth between you and the bench becomes much worse at insulating you, which is why the bench will get your butt long before the frosty air gets your covered arms.

Newbie outdoor hammock users sometimes make this mistake. Hammock people know that if you're camping somewhere with wind chill, you get a cover that insulates the OUTSIDE of the hammock. Everyone's got a story about the newbie who didn't want to waste money and decided to wrap themself in a really warm quilt only to freeze their arse off all night because there's no air in the quilt layers between them and the hammock so that wind chill cools the hammock and gets them from underneath.

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from willowWispFlame reading: The bench has more mass and is at a much colder temperature than you. If the bench is made of metal, then it conducts heat easily through the entire material, making it less likely it is locally heated to your temperature. The 5 warm layers do much to insulate your body heat, but heat energy is still leeched away.

Reply from thorny-on-main reading: bench has hate in its heart and wants you to suffer with it (ass first) /End ID]

I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales. But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.

Oh some of you don't know about the squids. I talked about them in another thread that went kinda viral somewhere or other but one of the reasons you should not swim in the open ocean at night in many parts of the world is that the water starts teeming with these:

And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans! But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators. We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free. In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)

There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:

And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:

There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered. The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:

No for real:

Absolutely! Also, the Humboldt squid will hunt in packs, sometimes with one flashing brightly to draw attention while the others approach in near unseeable camoflage!

Beautiful footage of the nefarious sea demons also :)

Also because I can't reblog every addition together:

Okay where's the other 1199

I absolutely adore Humboldt squid. I saw a doc once where a scientist was cage diving to study them, and one of the squid squeezed it's entire massive body through the cage bars, bit the guy and squeezed right back out.

Why isnt this an animal that's already long gone viral like honey badgers once did. This is the animal that actually gives no fucks. People really are just that obsessed with bigger squids I guess? But the bigger ones frankly come across as big softies in comparison. One big sea monster can never be as intimidating as a thousand coordinated man sized sea monsters.

This is why I thought that if mermaids had a cultural equivalent to lycanthropy it'd be weresquids. Fun fact nocturnal marine life increases activity on the brightest nights ie the full moon.

This is all fascinating but I'm reblogging it exclusively for the phrase "got nearly squidded from existence."

Even our wisest scholars pale in comparison to the might of the common missile

Wisest scholar: Knows that it knows nothing.

Dumbest missile: Knows where it is because it knows where it isn't.

So excited to work as a scare actor for the second year in a row

Last year I was a zombie and chased people around the trail.

This year I’m walking backwards along the trail until I meet a group, saying “hey my friends ran on ahead, can I walk with you?” And then getting kidnapped.

About 10 years ago my sister attended a zombie survival paintball experience in an abandoned derelict shopping centre

There was a nervous guy at the meeting point who explained that his friends got food poisoning from dinner last night, but this was the whole point of the trip and he didn't want to hang about in a hotel room with sick people, but he was considering just going back home

The entire group immediately took him under their wing and adopted him into their friends and inside jokes and sharing snacks

He was dragged off and eaten by zombies in the first 15 minutes, complete with blood packs, and returned in the final room as a sort of final boss

10/10 long lasting emotional scarring

I'm putting the word "exotic" on top of the refrigerator yall can't be trusted. we live in a global world, no more using "exotic" to refer to things that are locally familiar to many people who are simply not in your area

"clam chowder is an exotic soup" is a true statement for the vast majority of human beings on this planet

from now on exotic should refer to like. newly discovered and undiscovered species. exotic mites are flourishing in my backyard

reminds me of this plant we used to have in texas that was exclusively on one property and the fringes of its fence line when i was raised on a farm

no idea what the hell it was. goats went insane for it. looked like a brown version of milk thistle but clearly wasn't poisonous; they literally prioritized eating it over everything else. got super crunchy when it dried out into a husk. didn't sting.

we called it goatweed and lo and behold when a botanist was called to identify it they'd never seen it before. took samples and asked us what we called it. those samples may be the last remnants because the goats went out of their way to eat as much of it as possible and i have no idea if that plant is extinct now :(

I. I need SO many more details about the Exotic Mystery Goatweed Driven To Extinction By Local Goat Herd

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