i think what fucks me up the most about the last two chapters of blood meridian is how much focus they put on the kid. being a kid.
like there’s the whole scene with the judge in the prison where there’s only those metal bars between them and he’s just grabbing at him and it’s so horrific when you remember all the children he already hurt along the way and you can only imagine what he’d do to the kid who is. a kid. a kid just like the other kids who he hurt and killed
and then there’s everyone pitying him and showing him so much kindness in San Diego because they realise how young he is. the doctor ensuring he sobers up and giving him the operation that saves his life. the prison guards releasing him despite it being said he would be hung.
and then after the time skip, he runs into a kid of 15, just like he was, and kills him. and all at once you realise how cruel this world is even to children and you realise what the kid could have ended up like and it’s just !!!
all the focus on the childhood innocence he never got to have but still lost and still misses. the innocence he never knew but the one he longs for. the innocence that tobin tried to give him a shred of, dying for it