no, i’m 20% serious.

roommate!mattsun who has no concept of personal space, no understanding that there are just some distances that aren't meant to be crossed between two people who live together.

you were friends first, after all--and he's never really had much by the way of boundaries between his friends before, so why would cohabitation be any different?

it's second nature for him to come into the bathroom while you're showering to brush his teeth, nearly scaring you out of your soapy skin when he asks what your plans are for the evening while he stands in front of the sink.

he doesn't hesitate to open your bedroom door without knocking, at all hours of the day, even though he should have learned from the many times he's accidentally walked in on you in the middle of changing.

so it's not strange or unexpected or even unwelcome when he crawls into your bed with you early one saturday morning, voice still croaky and rough with sleep, to ask if you want to go and get breakfast. you rouse slowly, leaning into the warmth you've grown accustomed to--conditioned to expect and to accept, just like all of Mattsun's other friendly eccentricities--and nod sleepily.

and that's when you feel it.

the hard press of something against your hip. something that is decidedly neither domestic nor platonic. the final expanse of distance in the test of your limit of personal space that has yet to be broached.

your eyes flutter open, and you look up at Issei who has you tucked against his chest. his eyes are half lidded with sleep and something even heavier, something that the air between you--thin as it may be--is suddenly clouded with.

he smirks down at you, a curl of his lips that's both knowing and sly.

and suddenly you wonder if any of mattsun's eccentricities had been friendly at all.

exceeding expectations | ran haitani

pairing: ran haitani x f!reader

warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI!; smut, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, some cockwarming at the end, ran is a TEASE, praise, overall soft sex with best friend!ran <333

synopsis: after several casual hookups and ruined orgasms, you’re about to give up on your sex life. but not until your best friend ran shows you exactly what you deserve.

notes: this is… sloppily done ngl. but this is my first time writing in WEEKS so i guess this is a warm-up, “getting back into it” piece! (please be kind HAHA.) anyways, likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

beta-readers: @christeningsakusa @midnightwonderland-writer THANKS Y’ALL FOR ELEVATING THIS IN WAYS MY SMOOTH SASHIMI BRAIN COULD NOT!

“wait,” ran wheezes out in between snorts. “you’re not fucking with me right now? he was this big?” he lifts his fingers to indicate your ex-hookup’s pitiful size.

a groan rumbles from the pit of your throat. dropping your forehead into your best friend’s shoulder, you meekly nod your head. “yes,” you whisper quietly, trying your best to stifle your giggles. “he couldn’t even wrap his whole fist around his dick. he had to stroke himself with his fingers!”

placing his hand on his chest, ran catches his breath. “god damn,” he sighs, “that’s probably the worst experience i’ve ever fucking heard. did his head game at least make up for it?”

you bury your face into the crook of his neck, the soft cotton material of his shirt tickling your cheek and hiding the heat that creeps up on your face. “it was okay.”

“just okay?!” ran retorts. “did he even make you cum?”

when you gently shake your head, disappointment settles in his chest. “why do you keep fucking with losers who can’t even make you finish?” he tsks.

hayakawa aki passes you his cigarette and all he can think about as you’re smoking is how you’re having an indirect kiss :( and he’s so lost in you. he’s in love

WHEN HE LOSES YOU AT THE MALL

⇢ Oikawa Torū, Bokuto Kotaro, Kenma Kozume, Akaashi Keiji, Kita Shinsuke, Miya Osamu, Semi Eita, Kuroo Tetsuro 

ꨄ OIKAWA Toru | He wanders off after thirty minutes at Sephora. The smell of the perfumes were starting to overwhelm him. He returns twenty minutes later to find you gone. “Y/N?” He whisper-yells at every aisle. Pulling out his phone, he tries to call you only to realize it was out of battery. A smart and efficient man, he doesn’t run around trying to find you, he heads straight to customer service. “Hi ma’am, I seem to have lost my baby, can you please make an announcement telling her daddy is looking for her? Her name is Y/N.” “yeah no problem.” “Y/N, Y/N, please come to customer service, your daddy is looking for you.” You roll your eyes as soon as you hear the announcement, only your husband would refer to himself in public as daddy. “how old is your child?” she whispers to Oikawa, although her voice still broadcasting, “oh she’s not my child, she’s my wife.” The woman gasps slightly, “sir that is not appropr—” the announcement cuts off, making you giggle as you make your way over to customer service to claim your husband.

ꨄ BOKUTO Kotaro | You told him you were going to go return something real quick and you’ll meet him back at the exact same place. He said he’d stay put, except he didn’t. Bokuto wanted to surprise you by following you to the store, it would’ve been kind of cute if he didn’t follow the wrong person. “boo!” The woman turns around and yelps. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I thought you were my girlfriend.” He then realizes two things: 1) he doesn’t know which store you’re at 2) he can’t find his way back to your meeting location. He pokes his head into every store at first whisper-yells your name. He decides to just shout, “Y/N WHERE ARE YOU?” on repeat. He didn’t care about the weird looks, he just had to find you. You paid no attention to the weird yelling until people around you started to say, “Y/N, come out already so this man can stop shouting.” You run towards the sound of his voice and see two security guards talking to him. “there she is!” He points at you. “I’m so sorry for causing trouble officers.” As soon as the guards were gone, you smack him on the chest. “Ko! couldn’t you just call me?” “oh yeah” He smiles sheepishly as you shake your head.

ꨄ KENMA Kozume | It’s definitely his fault for losing you. You told him to stay put for five minutes, but how could he when he sees the newest Playstation on display. You find him easily of course, “babe, I’m going to check out the sale at Nordstrom.” “uh-huh, okay.” He replies without registering what you had said. By the time he finishes playing, his phone is out of battery and he has no idea what you had gone. Too shy to go to customer service and to yell, Kenma decides to just visit every store you could’ve possibly gone to. After the tenth store, the tenth being Victoria Secret and getting weird looks, Kenma has had enough. Finally musters up the courage to go to customer service to borrow the phone. “where are you?!” He exclaims angrily. “I’m at Nordstrom. And what are you getting angry for? I told you.” Kenma suddenly remembers your words and sulks all the way over to Nordstrom, frustrated he spent all that time looking for you.

ꨄ AKAASHI Keiji | Rarely loses you, but today, you just had to run off after hearing word that Bretman Rock was at the same mall as you. Akaashi returns to your table confused with your smoothie in hand. At first just sits down at the table, hoping you’ve just run off to the bathroom. When you don’t return after ten minutes, Akaashi calls you. “babe where are you? I got the smoothie already?” “Keiji I can’t talk right now, it’s almost my turn. Oh Bretman!” The phone cuts off. Akaashi thinks to himself “who the heck is Bretman.” Starts to get worried, “is Bretman an ex I didn’t know about?” Tries to call you again only to get more worried when it goes straight to voicemail. Starts pacing back and forth until he sees the flyer, “Youtube Beauty Guru Bretman Rock Fanmeet at 2F”. Akaashi visibly relaxes as he makes his way over to the fan meet, thinking how your smoothie has turned into juice by now.

ꨄ KITA Shinsuke | The only reason he lost you was because you excitedly got out of the elevator at the wrong floor and the door closes before you could hop back in. “babe, just stay there i’ill come find you!” “okay!” The door closes and your husband sighs. Getting off at the floor above, Kita starts to make his way down, hoping you would actually stay put. He sighs again when he doesn’t see you waiting for him. He pulls out his phone, only to see there was no reception. Immediately, looks around and once he realizes this was the floor with all the makeup counters, Kita was able to find you. Just as he suspected, you were in Sephora. “honey, what’d I say about waiting for me by the elevator?” “I did wait for a bit, but then I realized you’ll be able to find me, you always do”. You smile so sweetly, Kita couldn’t help but smile back. “That’s true. So what’d you got in your basket there?”

mutual masturbation with aki 😣 jerking him with both hands while he pulls your panties aside and sinks a finger inside 😣

boyfriend that says “wear anything you want, beautiful, I can fight” *smirks* when you ask if your dress is too revealing

—ATSUMU, Kuroo, IWAIZUMI, Daishou, Suna, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Tsukishima, KAMASAKI, Osamu, MATSUKAWA, Futakuchi

This close 🤏 to walking into a mysterious fog and never coming back

GUESS WHO REMEMBERED HER PASSWORD? ME! fdssfdgsfdg

some new fusions I’ve made in the eman time, and drawing of old ones, I even put all together, tho it was before MonomaxShisnou Fusion and KacchanxUraraka. I hope you like them! :3

suna thinks that there must be something wrong with him.

because his brain shut down the second you rested your head on his shoulder, and the only answer he can manage when you ask if he’s okay is a lame, “uh huh.”

when you pull back to look at him, you just smile, so painfully unaware of this...thing you're doing to him. he doesn't really have a name for it yet.

"i'm going to get another drink," you murmur, slipping out of the booth and heading towards the bar.

suna watches you go, mouth uncomfortably dry (from the alcohol, right?) as his gaze drags down your figure. specifically the way his jacket hangs off your shoulders, its hem resting just below the curve of your--

"hey, rin, ya know if she's still single?"

his gaze snaps to the blond in front of him. he doesn’t like the look on atsumu's face, that wry smile on his lips. in the years since he’s gotten to know him, he’s learned that look typically precedes a plan that’s going to going to give him a headache, get him in trouble, or both.

"i don't know," he lies, taking a long swig of his drink to avoid elaborating.

he's not sure why he's lying. you are single, and he knows this because as your best friend and roommate. he knows that you broke up with your last boyfriend because you didn't see a future together. he knows that you didn't click well with your last blind date. he knows that so far, none of the profiles you've come across on the dating site your friend set you up on have caught your interest.

"mind if i ask her out then?"

suna chokes on his bourbon, sputtering, "what?"

one of those "i judge your taste in men" quizzes except it's text-based and i actually like men so this one's not mean <3

short king swag