ur payin eighty dollars for this?

remember how the switch 1 had "cloud streaming" games where you paid the full $60 for like kingdom hearts or w/e and then you didn't even get a download you just had to stay on good wifi for as long as you were paying the game?

Tumblr is odd because you’ll see a mutual post something really profound like “the birds still sing for those who listen” and you see them 5 minutes later saying something like “need to be pegged.grilled cheese style”

The thing that gets me about the impending Harry Potter show is like. I'm able to, for entirely hypothetical purposes, put aside my disdain and disgust for the author's full-tilt bigotry and put myself in the shoes of someone who's still a Fan, like I would be if the author hadn't doubled, tripled, and quadrupled down on being a full-tilt bigot, and even then, imagining the alternate universe where JKR remained a staunch ally and well-meaning if clueless liberal philanthropic darling, I still can't quite wrap my head around why I'd want this show to be made

Everyone keeps saying it's going to be a Faithful Adaptation Of The Series and I'm just like... okay? This isn't A Series Of Unfortunate Events that got a bad adaptation and they had to go back and try again to get it right. The majority of fans liked and continue to like the movies, a lot, and despite some minor quibbles here and there, they're considered incredibly faithful adaptations. The Fandom isn't exactly divided on this, either.

Like, I imagine a nearby alternate timeline where JKR was never hit by the Idiot Stick That Makes You Hate Women and remained normal, and I remained a fan of a flawed but influential children's fantasy series, and I can't really think of a reason why I would be excited about them trying to make lightning strike a second time. Are people really that mad about Michael Gambon saying "Harry did you put your name in the goblet of fire" animatedly instead of calmly? Or is WB just worried that the incoming demographic of theme park attendees have nowhere near the nostalgic link to the series that millennials would, and that if they don't inject the series back into the zeitgeist, the golden goose might stop laying eggs?

If JK Rowling hadn't gone full terf and this remake was happening then we'd all be wearily rolling our eyes at yet another carriage being hitched to the endless train of unnecessarily remade hits that nobody wants. People would be joking about "they're making a live action Harry Potter now" (the joke of course being that the previous one was also live action this time so they don't even have the normal excuse). People would revive old comparisons of Lion King shots and Mulan shots and put up Harry Potter ones next to them and joke about how expressive the animation is in the original. I can't see any world in which anyone would want this.

it's called the Switch 2 because you Switch 2 a cheaper hobby

oh dear. pour one out for @staff today folks

(for those of you who have been living under a rock since late 2019, automattic owns tumblr)

the saddest concept. i have ever encountered in my job

It’s so crazy how you can measure the shifts in culture based on which race Ariana is pretending to be

good morning i feel like seven dollars

i have a feeling the new post header layout and round avatars are in preparation for april fools tomorrow

the giant follow button is killin me tho

I've actually carefully amassed an online audience so that as google and other search engines slowly lose their functionality I have a cabinet of hundreds of depressed 20-somethings to answer all my questions. Anyways what's the name of that breed of duck that's like completely green

cayuga duck

also in this search I discovered the mandarin duck. which. holy shit.

(credit: Edoardo Mazzucco / Getty Images)

and the white-cheeked pintail, which i just think is a perfect duck.

(credit: Britannica.com)

me: fuck my stupid lifeeeee cvs wont let me pick up my adderall cus theyre "out of stock" or something

my roommate who is a pirate from a cartoon: Arrrghhh those scallywags... keepin ye from their treasure... Yer gonna have to sail the seven seas to find yer loot. And it'll cost ye a pretty penny too!!!!

me: dude i know. Hey is it harder to jerk off when you have a hook for a hand or does it add a certain erotic thrill

pirate: Ye'll never hear me secrets.... I'll walk the plank before i tells ye

Shout out to @anosci for sending me the oldest Usenet mention of transformers he could track down, from May 22, 1984. The cartoon would not air until September 17, 1984. The very first issue of the Marvel comic was released on May 8, 1984.

This may very well be the first Transformers review ever written and it's by an absolute fucking HATER