the horny poets department

@guiltyasdave / guiltyasdave.tumblr.com

• jana (she/her) • 30 • ceo of the dave york agenda • joel miller apologist/enthusiast • 18+ only, mdni • masterlist • rec masterlist • letterboxd • do good! •
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if only

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: Dave loses the one person he ever cared about. (kind of a John Wick AU if you squint)

word count: 1k

tags/warnings: dark content!!! so much angst, death, grief, violence, murder, suicide, alcohol consumption, able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, no carol or daughters in this, i call him david in this because i wanted to

a/n: @almostfoxglove said let's write some angst and i said bet (thank you for the moodboard freya and SORRY i'm late!). don't say i didn't warn you, and i'm so serious, if any of those tags might be triggering for you, maybe sit this one out <3

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)

dividers by @saradika-graphics 🤍

#janas fics#dave york#dave york fanfiction#dave york angst#dave york x reader#dave york x you#dave york x female reader#dave york x f!reader
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goodwithcheese asked:

Ring finger is husband energy.😏

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sizzlingcloudmentality answered:

That's why Pike isn't on there?

GIF by lovegabe1999

No but seriously. It is. Left hand is for wedding rings and pussy, right hand is for nipple play or letting you suck on his fingers.

(am I the only one who thinks that Marcus Moreno is unbelievably filthy in bed? Because he'd be spitroasting you on his fingers while cooing some dirty things)

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#not the pike slander lmaoooooooo#i need more filthy marcus m please and thank you
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jennaispunk asked:

The new theme has got me feelin’ some kind of way!! 🔥

GIF by wweoracle

I get it to see him on the big screen tonight and I’m not sure if I can handle it. 🤣😭😩

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enjoyyyyyy omg! apparently our theatrical release won’t be until june (crazy that we get one at all really 😭) so please know that i’m living through you rn 🫠

#janas asks
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Reblogged mandaloriankait
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Hot take but actors are allowed to lie about their personal lives if that’s what it takes for them to have some privacy. Stop being nosy bitches they don’t owe you anything.

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Reblogged secretelephanttattoo
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holacia3 asked:
GIF by popcornforone

You come home and see that babe got you a present. What's in the box?

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almostfoxglove answered:

main masterlist | get notifs

Never, ever anything good.

Sure, Max tries. He really does. He presents any gift with the kind of gleeful pride that takes over the whole of his face, hands clasped formally behind his back while he hums with anticipation. Any speed at which you unwrap the offering is too fucking slow and often results in him shredding the package to tatters, too impatient to wait any longer for your reaction. Fuck the paper, anyway. He knows you aren't saving that shit.

Bless his heart, he always believes that this time, he's finally got it right.

You know better: that is never the case.

Some past (and failed) gifts include:

  • office supplies, the boring kind (paperclips, binder clips, tape dispenser refills) — "I know you don't work at an office, baby, but it's important to dream big!"
  • jewelry, which you like until you learn he stole it from your neighbor while they were sleeping — "It looks better on you, baby."
  • jewelry which was not stolen from your neighbor, but after some interrogating Max buckles and admits that he may have, maybe committed some light grave robbing — "But it's not like they're using it anymore, it's a victimless crime!"
  • a racoon. a squirrel? You've blocked out the memory as much as you can, but it was wild, maybe rabid, and definitely in your fucking apartment. He trapped it in the alley behind your apartment the night before, and it had peed in this cardboard box at least once. — "You said you wanted a pet, and this thing was just wandering around. I didn't even steal it! Well, fuck, baby. How the hell was I supposed to know you wanted a dog? Isn't this the same? It slobbers, shits. It's fluffy. But fine, fine—I'm the asshole. I'll release it, okay? Settle down." [...] "Can I borrow your oven mitts?"
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#i love this so fucking much#max phillips
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Reblogged
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JAGGED EDGE

─ QZ Joel Miller x f! reader || WC: 900

CW: MDNI/18+. NSFW. Age gap implied. Possible dub-con. Rough sex. Degradation. Dom! Joel. Dom/sub elements. Hair pulling. Daddy kink. Joel is a meanie & a big scary man. Ambiguous/toxic relationship.

A/N: This is literally something I wrote and typed out based off of this singular picture that was shown to me. I had to do this, for the people! Proofread by moi.

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3

Joel was pissed.

Coming back to the QZ with less supplies than he’d like had him on edge, a shit deal led to two less bullets in the magazine of his gun. A waste of his time, a waste of his energy and whatever fucking else he managed to have left in this dying world.

The parasitic things around him continue to take, and take, and take until he’s a dog fighting for scraps again. He’s already worked for the current rations he has, bribed or killed for the rest, did whatever he had to do just to get by and ignore the stench of rotting bodies he has to dig up and burn. He’s already dealing with enough, he doesn’t need to lose any more of what he had.

At least he had you.

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HELL FUCKING YEAH (or how to get me horny in 900 words or less)

i read this at 7 am at work and ohhh my god i’m gonna be thinking about nothing else the entire day 🫠🫠🫠

nic this is top tier, every single sentence just hits and i love this characterization of joel so so much.

#janas recs#joel miller x reader#also this made me realize that i hadn’t read your entire masterlist like i thought i had so i know what i’m gonna be doing this weekend
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