We’re More Ghosts Than People

i'm so tired of the yaoi-ification of mlm ships where people feel the need to make one of them (usually the fandom-assigned bottom) into a teeny tiny waifish twink and the other into a huge musclebound super aggro guy (usually the fandom-assigned top) i know this is like a thing many people have been saying for years but i just feel like it has never actually gotten better in fandom spaces. the fatphobia of it, the gender essentialism, the homophobia, it's all so fucking annoying it makes me want to scream

^^^ absolutely agree with both of these, that's been a big trend particularly in the last several years. i think people truly do not realize how much they're replicating gender essentialism when they do trans headcanons like that and how much it perpetuates transphobic ideas. it's just gross and weird and as a trans person it feels awful to see people repeatedly pigeonhole every guy they view as a bottom as a tiny transmasc twink or every transmasc guy as a small feminine bottom. it's just exhausting.

and in a broader sense i think people don't realize how much they're boiling down all the different ways people can express themselves and have sex and relationships when they do this kind of thing. acting like the only possible mlm relationship is "big masculine top x tiny feminine bottom" goes completely against the varied lived experiences of so many people and contributes to this overall idea that relationships can only resemble cisheteropatriarchal ideals. even straight relationships between cis people don't usually look like this! you're falling for an invented fantasy that serves to maintain systemic hierarchies!

and that's not even getting into the race angle of it all-- the idea that men of color are more sexually aggressive is SO pervasive that people cannot even fathom why it's an issue to always automatically assume a man of color will be the top in a relationship with a white man. it's particularly pervasive with black and latino men and it's so obviously racist and yet people do not seem to understand when they themselves are perpetuating it. and i'll add that for asian men specifically it's often the opposite; asian men are frequently emasculated and viewed as the inherent bottoms in relationships with non-asian men.

i also want to point out that wlw relationships are not exempt from any of these dynamics either. frequently people decide on one woman in a relationship being the top or the domme (which i will point out very strongly are NOT the same thing, but are often conflated, particularly in fandom spaces) entirely based on arbitrary traits that follow with their own cultural assumptions. women of color are seen as inherently less feminine, inherently more sexually aggressive, and therefore nearly always viewed as tops. asian women are treated like inherently submissive objects rather than their own people, and are often depicted as the demure bottoms in wlw relationships with non-asian women.

in both regards, and obviously including the various ways that nonbinary and genderqueer people are affected by all of these dynamics, people of color, as the exoticized other to white, western fans, are viewed as having strict, unchangeable roles in sexual dynamics which further other racial stereotypes and erase the actual varied experiences and relationships between people. all of these dynamics cement cultural assumptions within fandom spaces. and it's just really fucking obvious how pervasive gender essentialism and racism are in fandom when i see people talk about ships with such stringent roles and dynamics, without any nuance or acknowledgement of the kinds of mentalities being replicated.

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Meljayvik stoners, i think I’m onto something

I’m so onto something

Being a Jew in America right now is so bizarre. The president's right hand man endorses a far-right German party that wants to remove Holocaust memorials and ban the sale of kosher meat, members of the ruling party are doing nazi salutes at rallies, and standing members of congress openly repeat conspiracy theories about the Rothschilds and Jewish space lasers. Then you see a news article about antisemitism and it's like "we need to do something about all these college students protesting mass killings."

my d.b. cooper theory is that the rapture happened while he was falling and he was the only christian worthy of heaven

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush