Smother

Part Two | Part Three |TW: mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts, verbal abuse, NSFW themes, depression and isolation.

The sound of the front door lock clicking makes you scramble into bed. Pulling the covers up to your ears, you pretend to be asleep. Heavy footsteps can be heard throughout the empty house you share a home with Bakugou. You count his steps from the front door, up the stairs and into the bedroom. Closing your eyes, you hear him come to your side of the bed, and stops.

A handful of heartbeats passes before he moves on, the click of the attached bathroom door soon after. You sit up when you hear the shower turn on, the smell of smoke lingering where your boyfriend stood near you. Anxiety riddles your stomach with aches, and you have the overwhelming thought that Katsuki is mad at you.

He probably got a concerning call from friends that you didn’t show up to their weekly game night, again. You promised him you’d try this week, to get out of bed and just attempt to go through the motions of a normal life. Yet, the idea of being around people and needing to smile and pretend that you’re okay was draining. So, you stayed inside all day, again, and watched as the hours blurred together and you couldn’t help the bad thoughts riddle you with the feeling that you’re wasting so much time and taking up space that made you want to do something to stop feeling so blue. Something horrible.

Katsuki is at a lost with you and your issues. He picked up early in the relationship that you were emotional and prone to having bad days, but this was ridiculous. A whole month, and you couldn’t get out of bed, you couldn’t socialize, you barely remembered to shower or make an effort to actually be his girlfriend. You just laid there on the bed, rotting.

The hero let the stinging hot water spray over his body, the pain of a hard day of heroes work finally catching up with him. Bakugou pushed back his wet hair from his forehead, sighing. He was stressed, about work and you. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He was high strung, and wasn’t even thinking when he grabbed his hard cock and began jerking off. It’d been weeks since he’d have sex, you wouldn’t even look at him, much less touch him. It didn’t take him long to finish, groaning lowly. He felt pathetic, he was a successful young man with a promising future ahead of him yet he limited himself to stress induced wanking, when he could have any bitch he wanted. Katsuki chose you, because he fell in love with you. What changed? He doesn’t remember anything happening a month prior that would induce a comatose-like state. You tried explaining it to him yesterday, how you just woke up and couldn’t picture your future anymore and just felt a heavy weight on your chest that wouldn’t ease up. You tried apologizing about the tears that seemed to never stop, about being distant and not attentive to him.

“I’m just going through a rough time,” you cried when he confronted you about your mental state.

“What is so wrong with your life?” Katsuki was shaking, scared shitless because he’s never seen you breakdown like this before.

You’re taken back by his question. “What?”

He’s shaking, he’s so angry. “I don’t fucking get you. I provide for you, I work so fucking hard to make sure you have everything and you’re-you’re an ungrateful bitch!”

You sob, taking in his brutal words even though your heart is shattering.

“I take you to see a shrink, I help you remember take those pills that are suppose to cheer you up. I let you cry on shoulder, again and again. What more can I do?” He’s screaming at this point, his loudness making you fold into yourself for shelter. His palms are slick with sweat and you worry his quirk will go off.

“You’re fucking smothering me, with all your mood swings and your fucking crying.” Bakugou knew he needed to stop, he should’ve, but he just couldn’t.

“I go out there all day and be a hero!” He pulls at his hair. “I hate coming home to your bullshit after a long day.”

His words echoed throughout your head after your fight, Bakugou crashing on the couch as his self-punshiment. He could hear you cry all night, and the young man did feel bad but he just didn’t know what to do anymore. You begged him not to get other people involved, to not worry them with issues that didn’t concern them. Katsuki agreed, because he didn’t want people to see you that weak when he knew you were strong. Yet, that made him the sole support system for you, and Katsuki was running out of patience.

The following morning, he was careful when he bid you goodbye for the day. His calloused hand traced your cheek, guilt crashing into him at how red they were from your crying.

“Mina and Kirishima want you at their house for game night, will you try to go? For me?” He asked in a whisper.

Sniffling, you nodded but deep down you both knew you wouldn’t go.

The water turns cold when he shuts it off. You lay down, under the covers again when he steps back into the bedroom. The bed groans at the added weight, blankets shifting as Bakugou joins you in bed. You feel his body heat, so close but he doesn’t move to embrace you like he always did.

“I love you Katsuki.” You try to mend his temper, his disappointment in you. He once told you that he’d always love you, though thick and thin. You pray he was telling you the truth.

Katsuki stares up at the ceiling, the reflection of passing car lights bouncing across the wall.

I love you too, he thinks but can’t find the strength to say out loud.

You turn away from him, rejection stinging as you silently cry because your inner thoughts were correct, he can’t stand you anymore.

Bakugou doesn’t cuddle with you, doesn’t pull your shaking body towards his for comfort. He’s tired. He’s drained. He turns away from you, yanking the blanket to cover his broad shoulder, grinding his teeth as the sound of you crying puts him to sleep.

The light from the bathroom is what wakes him up, annoyance blossoming quickly as Katsuki sits up in bed.

“(Y/N),” He calls out, rubbing his eyes. The alarm clock next to the bed reads it’s a quarter past 3 in the morning. Groaning, Katsuki gets up to turn off the light.

“(Y/N), I have to get sleep for work, I go in at six remember?” He stops in the doorway, noticing you laying by the tub. Katsuki takes in his pale you look, and notice how the the bathmat is stained red. His eyes follow the trail and his stomach drops when he sees the razor beside you and the long self-inflicted cuts across your wrists. The same wrists he loved to kiss when you’d caress his face.

His hero training kicks in, and Bakugou gathers you in his arms. Shaking, he checks to see that you still have a weak pulse but the long cuts on your arms were still gushing. He’s surprised how warm your blood feels as he presses his hands against your injuries.

Bakugou is crying, yelling out your name in disbelief.

“Stay with me, baby please stay with me,” he sobs as he tries to stop the bleeding.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N) I’m so fucking sorry.” He feels like a hopeless child as he dials 911, screaming for help as he holds your limp body tight against his chest.

“I love you,” He chants, kissing your forehead and wetting you with his tears.

“Please don’t leave, I’m so fucking sorry.” Guilt is a son of a bitch, and it’s eating Katsuki alive as EMS rushes in and takes you away. He rides in the ambulance, holding your hand as he prays that you make it through the night.

Blinded by his fear, Bakugou didn’t read the simple note you wrote for him.

I’m sorry I smothered you