happy april fools everyone I cast penis explosion

it's dangerous to go alone! take these

For the love of God sound ON

sorry i can't hang later i have to swallow my own spit wrongly on accident and choke for a while

"oh, I live in a desert and-"

"wow that must be so terrible" "deserts are so ugly" "I would never want to live in a wasteland like that" "it's just empty nothingness"

wishing 10,000 exploding hammers upon you

behold New Mexico

figured out formatting codes

blissfully unaware of any UI changes because the evil skull protects me

another win for the evil skull

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

just remembered the other day a teen approached me holding a rapidly melting chunk of ice in his hand and asked if i wanted to buy a "limited edition pet rock"

its okay to be fat! unless you are on purpose. unless you've never tried dieting before. unless you're disabled. unless you're not actively trying to be the healthiest person in the room. unless you sit down. unless you drink soda. unless you aren't fashionable. unless you aren't white. unless you get off on it. unless you exist.

there rlly is smth very telling ab how the thing that made ppl livid ab this post was "unless you are on purpose/get off on it" like some of yall ripped the body positive veil down to show that u dont give a shit ab fat ppl or body autonomy at all bc of that

hey man what if i cried

fuck it. *supermans that hoe*

also, its sister tweet:

How could you forget:

Had to add this gem

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.