reverie;

✩ ᵕ̈ ིྀ! 사랑해요 •˙ 🥀 ⌗ ⊱

masterlist! moots! reblog account!

© jakeyzzz 2023 ☆

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- broken promise.

𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝓈𝓊𝓃𝑔𝒽ℴℴ𝓃 𝓈𝒾𝓂 𝒿𝒶ℯ𝓎𝓊𝓃

𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾 ； 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍， 𝗁𝗎𝗋𝗍／𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍 ， 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ；{ attempted suicide, mentions of domestic violence, fighting, drugs, overdose, hospitals, mentions of alcohol and cigarettes, mentions of death, crying, eating, kissing, making out, happy ending ! } not proofread!

!!! english is NOT my first language

𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍!

𝗐𝖼 : 4,4k

'' I can't do this anymore. ''

'' What do you mean you can't do this anymore ? '' 

Sunghoon's voice was filled with rage. This was your 5th time arguing that week. You've spent the last two hours yelling and screaming at each other, and you were slowly losing your mind. 

'' Answer me ! '' Sunghoon said through gritted teeth, taking a few steps forward. He was now standing only a few inches away from you, his body almost touching yours. You looked directly into his eyes with your empty ones, trying to find a sign of regret. But the only thing you could see was pure anger. 

'' Why are you so quiet all of a sudden ? I told you to answer my fucking questi-'' Sunghoon couldn't finish his sentence. He was interrupted by a painful stinging sensation on his cheek. 

You slapped him.

You both stared at each other in shock for a few seconds, not saying a single word. You took that moment as an opportunity to run away from him. Sunghoon held his cheek with furrowed brows when he started following you. 

'' No, No, No. Don't run away now '' He yelled, quickening his pace. But you were faster. Before he even had to chance to reach your arm you ran into the bathroom, slammed the door shut and quickly locked it. 

You stared into the mirror, trying to catch your breath while listening to Sunghoon's footsteps getting closer to the door. You carefully sat down on the cold floor, resting your head against the bathtub behind you. 

'' Open the goddamn door ! '' You heard Sunghoon shout from behind the door. 

'' I swear I'm gonna kick the door open if you don't open it right now'' He threatened. You sobbed into your hands to the point where it was getting hard to breathe. Your strength was long gone. The sound of Sunghoon's fists aggressively hitting the door was so loud, you were sure your neighbors could hear it as well.

'' Please let this be over soon... '' You whispered to yourself. 

You stared at the wall, trying to think of a way to get you out of this hellhole. But Sunghoon's voice was so much louder than your thoughts. He didn't stop knocking on the door for even one second. 

And all of a sudden, you choked on your tears when something caught your eye. 

Your orange pill box you placed on the bathroom sink the night before. You weakly reached for it, taking it into your hand before staring at it for a few seconds. 

'' 8 pills...'' You thought. 

'' 8 pills and it would all be over. ''

It wasn't like you wanted to take your life. But you were so exhausted. And you thought giving up might be the only way to get away from him. 

His touch wasn't gentle and loving anymore. Whenever he touched you it was painful. And instead of making you blush, he covered your body in bruises. 

You gently took the lid off the pill box before letting the pills fall onto the palm of your hand. You took a deep breath in and without thinking twice, you quickly put them into your mouth before swallowing them. 

There was no turning back now. 

The first few seconds you didn't feel anything. But after a few minutes had passed, you felt your heartbeat slow down. And after a few more minutes, you knew you'd be going into cardiac arrest. 

'' Y/N ?! I'm giving you one more chance to open the door right now''

'' Y/N ?! '' 

'' That's it. I'm kicking the door open. '' And he did. 

He used his whole body strength to open the door, only to find you passed out on the floor. 

'' Y/N ? Fuck, what the hell have you done ?''  He mumbled as he ran towards your body before kneeling down to check your pulse. 

No pulse. 

Sunghoon panicked when he noticed your pill box on the floor. He didn't waste one second before calling an ambulance. He quickly explained what happened and after approximately 10 minutes you were already on your way to the hospital. 

A bunch of doctors had gathered around you, trying to save your life. One of them was performing CPR on you, while another one was trying to save you with some medication. And all of that was happening while Sunghoon was watching. For the first time that day he didn't have any anger inside of him. Instead he felt nothing but fear and guilt. Realisation had finally hit him. And it hit him hard. Really fucking hard. 

He ruined you. It was all his fault. He was the reason you took your own life. He was the reason your family would never  see you again. He could've stopped you from leaving. But he didn't. He put you through hell instead. 

'' 21 year old female, benzodiazepine overdose '' Sunghoon heard a doctor shout through the hallway of the hospital as soon as they rushed through the door. 

'' Into the emergency room ! '' 

Sunghoon tried following you, but he was stopped in his tracks by a doctor.

'' No. You're staying here.'' 

'' B- But- '' 

'' Sit down. '' 

Sunghoon sighed sharply. 

'' Alright. M'sorry '' He said, finally giving in. He lowered his head as he sat down before watching the doctor walk away from him, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He sat there for hours. 

He kept watching more doctors entering the room you were in, and he was slowly going insane. He had no idea what was going on until one of the doctors finally approached him. He quickly got up from his chair before nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. 

'' Sorry for the long wait. We finally got the permission to tell you she survived. But that's the only thing I'm allowed to tell you right now. Since we found a bunch of bruises on her body we're also gonna have to get the police involved. Are you gonna cooperate ? '' 

Sunghoon let out a shaky breath. He has never been this relieved. 

'' Yes ma'am. '' 

He sighed.

'' Good. Will you tell me your name please ? '' 

'' Yes. ''

Sunghoon knew he owed you this. And he knew he wanted to be completely honest to the police. He wanted to tell them everything. And after telling them everything, he wanted to disappear out of your life forever. That was his plan. 

And that's exactly what he did. That's what you deserved. A happy life without him. 

Deep down you knew Sunghoon never chose to end up like this. He never wanted to be someone who would hurt the girl he loved. Because that's what his dad did. Sunghoon's mom passed away when he was very young, and his dad was an alcoholic. No one ever got to teach him what real love feels like. The only thing his dad taught him was how to roll a cigarette. He learned that when he was barely ten years old. His dad made him feel useless. He barely even talked to him. His dad only talked to Sunghoon when he needed something... a cigarette or a new bottle of vodka. But he never told him he loved him. He has never heard those words before. Not even before his mother passed away. He didn't have anyone but his dad until he met you. The first time Sunghoon told you he loves you, you secretly wondered if he knew what he was talking about. You wondered if you were the one who actually showed him what love feels like, or if it was just his imagination of what love might  feel like. The first year with Sunghoon was perfect. Flowers everyday kind of perfect. But the year after, everything went downhill. Loving him suddenly wasn't easy anymore. He started hurting you ... mentally and physically. And you knew you somehow had to leave. But you didn't know how. No matter what he did, you still loved him. And that scared the living shit out of you. But that's over now. He's gone. He's gone for good. 

You were in your hospital bed, slowly waking up to someone squeezing your hand. You weren't able to open your eyes yet, but you were able to feel some device giving you additional oxygen through your nose. You were alive. 

You slowly tried opening your eyes, which was hard but eventually worked. Your sight was incredibly blurry tho. You couldn't really tell who was squeezing your hand. 

'' You lied '' The person next to you spoke up. 

'' S- Sunghoon ? '' You mumbled weakly, trying to focus on the person. 

'' Not even close '' The black haired boy chuckled, waiting for you to finally recognize him.

'' Jake ? '' You guessed.

'' Bingo ! '' 

You smiled weakly before closing your eyes again, taking a deep breath. 

'' You scared me. '' He said, his tone much more serious than before. 

'' I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do anymore. '' 

'' Don't apologize. I understand '' Jake said, placing a lingering kiss on the back of your hand. 

'' You still lied to me tho... '' 

'' What do you mean ? '' You quietly asked. 

Even though you didn't even look at him, Jake forced a smile. 

'' You promised me you wouldn't leave '' 

'' I'm sorry '' You apologized. Jake noticed a tear rolling down your cheek. He gently wiped it away, being as careful as possible. 

'' If you leave, I leave. '' 

That's what you've been telling each other for years. Jake has always been your best friend. And when he found out about your attempt a few hours ago, he completely broke down. He felt like he was suffocating. 

'' I don't think I could live without you '' He confessed, holding back tears. 

'' You don't have to. I'll be okay '' You murmured before slowly opening your eyes again. Your sight still wasn't perfect, but it was definitely less blurry. You could actually see Jake now. 

'' Where's Sunghoon ? '' 

'' Don't worry about it. ''

It was hard not to worry about it. You knew you shouldn't care, but you still wondered if he was okay. Even though he ruined you, he also saved your life. Instead of letting you die, he decided to get help. He saved your life by not leaving you alone on your bathroom floor. But he also saved your life by leaving. Even though you should be, you weren't mad at him. You already forgave him, and you wished him all the best for the rest of his life. But you were happy he was gone. He made the right decision when he decided to leave. It was for your own good. 

'' Is my mom here ? ''

Jake smiled softly.

'' Yeah. She's outside talking to a doctor. Do you want me to go get her ?  ''

'' Yes, please. '' 

Jake smiled lightly before getting up from his chair. He left the room for a few seconds, and eventually returned with your mom by his side. Seeing your mom's swollen eyes made your heart sink. She sat down on the chair next to your bed and for the first few minutes no words were exchanged. You just looked at each other with the same expression on your faces. 

Your eyebrows were furrowed and your lips were trembling as tears threatened to fall from your eyes. You looked at each other in pity. 

And just when your mom got up to put her arms around you, you both started sobbing uncontrollably. She felt your hot tears slowly start soaking her shirt as you weakly tried hugging her back. By the way she held you, you could tell how scared she was of losing you. And she had so much guilt inside of her for not protecting you from Sunghoon. She wanted him to suffer just as much as he made you suffer. 

'' I love you so much. Don't ever forget that '' Your mom choked out while softly stroking your hair. 

'' I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from that monster '' 

'' Aren't you mad at me ? '' You whispered as you kept crying. 

'' Why would I be mad at you ? I could never be mad at you. I just need you to promise me you won't leave '' She answered before kissing your forehead. 

'' I promise. ''

You took a deep breath before looking over to Jake, who was busy wiping his tears. He chuckled between his tears before walking over to you, joining you and your mom. 

He kneeled down next to you before gently taking your hand, softly caressing it with his thumb. 

'' I'm gonna protect you for the rest of my life, Y/N. I promise '' He reassured you. 

You smiled weakly. 

'' I know you will. ''

Before any more words could be exchanged, your little moment with Jake got interrupted by a doctor entering your room. Both Jake and your mom quickly got up on their feet again, waiting for the doctor to speak up. 

'' Y/N Y/L/N ? ''

'' That's me '' 

'' It's so good to see you ! How are you feeling ? '' The doctor asked with a warming smile on his face. 

'' I've been better ''

'' That's completely normal, don't worry. Your body went through a lot in the last few hours. I'm gonna have to make a few tests tho ... Is that okay ? '' 

'' Sure '' 

'' Great '' He said before starting to check your eyes first. 

He tried making you feel as comfortable as possible throughout the whole process and before you even knew it, he was already done. 

'' Everything seems to be just fine. But we're still gonna have to keep you here for a few days just in case. You're really lucky you survived. We've had a lot of patients who didn't make it. I hope you know we're all really glad you woke up. '' 

'' Thank you '' You said, smiling softly.

 He sighed lightly as he got up from his seat before saying his goodbyes, finally leaving you alone with your two loved ones again. They stayed with you for the rest of the day until they were told to leave. 

The next few days at the hospital went by quickly. Your mom was mostly busy working which means you had a lot of alone time with Jake. He visited you every single day and stayed for as long as he could. He even talked about how he wanted to secretly stay overnight, which you told him not to do since you didn't want him to get in trouble. But he would've done it anyway. Because to him getting in trouble was worth it if it meant he could stay with you. That's how much he cared for you...

'' What do you wanna do first when you get home ? '' He asked, holding your hand tightly just like he always did. 

'' I don't really know yet '' 

'' You're so boring '' Jake giggled. 

'' So what ? Do you have any Ideas ? '' 

'' I have a bunch of things in mind... ''

'' Tell me '' You commanded, smiling

'' There's a lot of options. You could watch your favorite movie, eat your favorite food or maybe even let me take you out on a date so we can do all these things together ? '' 

Your smile widened seeing Jake get shy all of a sudden. He was so cute. 

'' That was smooth... '' 

'' So ? What do you think ? '' Jake asked as he tried avoiding eye contact.

 You pretended to think about it for a few seconds before finally answering.

'' I think I'd really love that. '' 

You could see Jake's eyes light up almost immediately. He didn't even try to hide his blushy cheeks anymore when he looked at you smiling with all teeth. He left a gentle kiss on the back of your hand before intertwining your fingers, reminding you what having butterflies feels like.

'' I'm really looking forward to our date '' He whispered.

You were released the next day. 

After 6 days you were finally allowed to go home, and Jake was already waiting for you in his car in front of the hospital. He drove you home, which was now your mom's house again. She was already at the door when you arrived, welcoming you with a big hug. Being at your mom's house felt really good. It made you feel nostalgic. Especially when the smell of your favorite blueberry cupcakes hit your nose. Your mom used to make them for you a lot when you were little since they have always been your favorite. 

'' These are amazing '' Jake said, clearly enjoying the sweet pastry. 

'' Thanks, love. Please have as much as you want. '' Your mom answered, smiling happily. 

You could tell how happy she was you were back. 

'' So... do you guys have any plans for today ? '' 

'' I'm taking Y/N out on a date '' Jake said. 

Your mom's eyes widened in excitement. 

'' Thank god '' She said before moving closer to Jake. 

'' I've always liked you more than you know ... Sunghoon '' She whispered into his ear. 

'' Why are you whispering ? That's so unfair ! What did she say, Jake ? '' You whined in annoyance.

Jake giggled. 

'' Don't worry about it '' He said before pulling you into a hug. 

'' I'm gonna leave you two alone now. Have fun ! '' Your mom said before quietly leaving the room with a huge smile on her face.

'' It's getting kinda late don't you think ? '' Jake mumbled as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

'' Should I get ready ? '' 

'' You already look beautiful '' 

'' Come on let me at least change into something cuter... ''

Jake looked at you for a few seconds before gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

'' Alright. Meet me in my car in 15 minutes '' He said.

'' Okay '' You whispered under your breath before hurriedly running to your room.

You quickly went through your closet, trying to find something to wear. You ended up finding a blue denim dress you were gonna combine with your favorite overknee boots. The dress used to be your absolute favorite before you started getting bruises all over your body. But since all of your bruises were finally fading, you were confident enough to wear it again. You quickly styled your hair, trying to make it look as effortless as possible and applied some light makeup to complete the look. You put on your jewelry before checking yourself out in the mirror one last time. And when you were finally satisfied with your appearance, you eventually left the house. 

When you quietly closed the door behind you, you could see Jake lean against his car. 

And when he finally lifted his head to look at you, his jaw dropped. 

'' You look... Wow '' He looked at you in awe, making you feel shy under his gaze. 

'' You look amazing ''

'' Thank you '' You answered shyly, trying not to smile too hard. 

Jake smiled as he gently took your hand, leading you inside his car. 

'' Where are we going ? '' 

'' To my place ''

'' I know it might sound boring but ... you'll see '' He said before starting the engine. 

The drive went by quickly. 

Words couldn't describe how excited you were. Driving around with Jake already would've been enough to make the date perfect. But you knew Jake had a plan. And your excitement only increased when Jake finally pulled up into his driveway. 

You both got out of his car before walking over to Jake's front door hand in hand. 

'' Can you uhm... close your eyes ? '' Jake requested with nervosity written all over his face. 

''  Y- Yeah sure '' 

Jake smiled as he unlocked his door before leading you inside. He made sure you wouldn't hurt yourself by holding your waist from behind while walking. He led you into his living room where he had set up lots of blankets, pillows, fairylights, some of your favorite dishes and a movie projector. 

'' Okay. I think you can open your eyes now '' He whispered, hugging you from the back.

You chuckled sweetly before finally opening your eyes. You took in the view around you, immediately noticing how much effort Jake put into decorating this room. The whole living room was decorated so beautifully, it could've been straight out of a magazine. 

''I prepared all of this before picking you up. Except for the food ... my mom helped me with that''

'' Jake I- ... This is insane '' 

'' You like it ? '' 

'' Are you kidding me ? I love it ! It's perfect '' 

'' I'm so glad you love it. Wanna sit down ? '' 

You happily nodded your head before getting comfortable on Jake's couch. 

He smiled watching you snuggle up in one of the blankets. 

'' C'mere '' You said, patting the spot next to you. Jake giggled softly as he sat down next to you before putting an arm around you. You immediately scooted closer to him, shyly smiling at him from under the blanket. 

'' Why are you smiling like that ? ''

'' I don't know. I just feel really happy and... safe '' You mumbled.

Jake giggled. But after a few seconds of staring at you, his face expression suddenly got serious. 

'' Is everything okay ? '' You nervously asked. 

Jake cleared his throat before answering. 

'' Yeah, everything's alright. ''

You knew he was lying.

'' It's pretty clear something's wrong. Tell me what you're thinking about... ''

'' I don't wanna ruin the mood '' He said, avoiding eye contact. 

'' You won't. '' 

Jake sighed before finally looking at you again. He took your hand as he forced a smile on his face before finally speaking up. 

'' Watching you fall in love with him was one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness. And then he almost took you away from me. I should've kno- '' 

'' Jake. ''  You interrupted him. You knew exactly where this was going. 

He was gonna put the blame on himself. 

'' I could've prevented all of it from happening '' He whispered under his breath as he tried holding back tears. 

'' Listen to me. I don't think you understand... ''

You said before straddling his lap, making him look at you by cupping his cheeks. 

'' You couldn't protect me from Sunghoon. No one could... because I loved him. So stop feeling guilty. You have no idea how many times you've saved my life '' 

'' Not this time tho '' Jake said as a tear rolled down his cheek. 

'' Stop '' 

You used your thumbs to gently wipe his tears before pulling him into a hug by his neck. 

'' I've always wanted to thank you but I was never really sure how... '' You whispered as you let him cry into your shoulder, holding him tight. 

'' Thank me for what ? ''

'' For making me feel loved and wanted when he didn't. ''

Jake slowly lifted his head again, so he could rest his forehead against yours. He looked straight into your eyes when you noticed a soft smile tugging on his lips. 

'' Did I ruin our date ? '' 

You giggled. 

'' No. Not at all... '' 

You couldn't help but get lost in each other's eyes. And for a few minutes no words were spoken. 

Your lips were only a few inches away from his, and you could feel his hot breath on your skin. But when Jake noticed you were slowly leaning in to kiss him, he moved away.  

Not because he didn't want to kiss you, but because he wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing. 

'' Im sorry, are you sure you- '' 

You playfully rolled your eyes with a smile on your lips before shutting him up by kissing him. And this time he didn't move away. The kiss started off gentle, but ended up getting more and more passionate. You moved Jake's head closer to yours and hesitantly parted your lips, letting his tongue into your mouth. You put your arms around his neck to pull him even closer to your body and just when you didn't expect it, three words spilled from his lips. 

'' I love you ''

He mumbled against your mouth.

 And instead of answering, you immediately closed the gap between your mouths again, kissing him even more deeply. He gently bit your lower lip as his big hands soothed your arms up and down. Your hands went through his hair as you continued moving your lips on his. And as you gained more confidence, you swiped your tongue over his bottom lip, eliciting a deep groan from his throat.

'' Oh ? '' You teasingly whispered against his lips, making him blush.  He pecked your lips one last time before burying his face in your neck, making you giggle. 

'' Jake ? '' 

'' No '' 

You quietly laughed at his behavior. 

'' Look at me '' 

Jake whined, thinking you were gonna tease him. He slowly lifted his head from your neck, unintentionally showing you his rosy cheeks. 

'' I love you too '' You confessed, making Jake's eyes widen. 

'' Y - You do ? '' 

'' Yes. I do. ''

Jake immediately pulled you into his arms, peppering kisses all over your face making you giggle.

'' I love you. I love you so much. I always have, and I always will '' He said, holding you in his arms.

Without saying another word you kissed him again, playing with the strings of his oversized hoodie. This time the kiss was more gentle, as your lips were moving rather slowly against his. You took your sweet time kissing him, which made the moment feel even more intimate. 

'' I really hate to interrupt but I feel like we should continue our date. We've still got some things to do...'' Jake mumbled against your lips.

'' I love kissing you tho '' 

'' Same here ... but the food- ''

'' Okay, Okay. You're right. '' 

Jake giggled quietly before gently picking you up, not wanting to hurt you. Your legs were wrapped around his waist as he carried you over to the table before sitting you down on one of the chairs, shooting you a giddy smile as he sat down next to you. 

And for the entire rest of the night he made sure your first date would be more than perfect. And it indeed was perfect ... How could it not be ? It was with Jake after all. Your best friend, and the love of your life. 

You knew your healing journey was gonna be incredibly hard. You had a long way to go. But you were sure everything would be so much easier with Jake by your side. He was so patient with you, and he made you feel things you've never felt before. He was your  safe place. And you knew he would love and protect you forever. Just like he had promised.

taglist - { @leiclerc , @itulipy } ⁺˚*･༓☾

𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝒿𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓌ℴ𝓃 𝒹𝒶𝓎 ！！！

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

I love you, I‘m sorry

( angst / fluff ) jake x f!reader oneshot

masterlist!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - { crying, mentions of throwing up, swearing, kissing }

⋆⭒˚.⋆♫⋆｡𝄞₊⋆⭒˚♬.⋆

𝓌𝒸 : 2.6k words

On a random saturday night you and your friends spontaneously decided to go out. It was a few weeks after your birthday, and a night out sounded like an amazing idea to you.

Your birthday was a disaster. Well, at least it was a disaster to you. Everyone else was having a pretty good time. You on the other hand had been feeling depressed for the last few months. So while everyone else was laughing, you tried holding back your tears the whole time.

No one knew you were going through a breakup until a few days ago. But after everyone knew about it, you regretted not telling them earlier. They made you feel so much better in such a short period of time. You even started talking to some new guys. You weren't planning on starting a serious relationship with them, but they helped you get your mind off things. They helped you cope with the pain. Even though you knew it was only temporary.

Surprisingly you ended up getting really close with one of them. His name was Theo. You felt really comfortable around him, since you already knew he wasn't looking for anything serious either. So you had more of a ''friends with benefits'' kind of thing going on with him. He quickly became a part of your friend group, and also joined you guys on your night out at a music bar.

It was a pretty popular music bar, since they had a band line up every friday and saturday. They weren't the most popular bands, but regardless they never failed to amaze you.

So you ordered some drinks, sat down on one of the huge couches, talked about some of your favorite memories and without even noticing, you found yourself snuggling up to Theo. You placed your head on his shoulder, while listening to your friend's stories with a smile tugging on your lips.

'' Y/N ! Remember when we were in milan and we suddenly had the idea to play hide and seek in the hotel ? I remember us getting in so much trouble because Jake accidentally broke a really expensive vase''

'' Yeah I remember that...'' You said, faking a smile.

Theo turned his head to look at you with a smirk on his lips.

'' ... Who's Jake ? ''

Your friend instantly regretted mentioning Jake. Everyone looked at you with pity in their eyes and they could tell how hard you tried not to cry.

'' He's no one '' You said, your eyes suddenly turning cold at the thought of him.

'' Were you guys close ?''

'' Theo stop. She obviously doesn't want to talk about him'' One of your friends chimed in.

'' I'm gonna use the restroom. I'll be right back '' You got up, before quickly disappearing in the small crowd of people.

You locked yourself up in one of the restroom stalls, and took a deep breath in. You gently wiped away the tear rolling down your cheek, trying not to ruin your makeup. Why did everything have to be so complicated ? Why couldn't you just forget about your relationship with Jake and finally move on ? Why did your friend even have to bring him up ?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone tuning their bass guitar on stage. You got out of the restroom stall, and stared at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes. Your heart was about to jump out of your chest. You knew there were millions of bass players out there. But you immediately recognized the person on stage by the way he was playing.

You recognized him because you used to watch him play every single day.

''This can't be real'' You whispered to yourself, waiting for the sound of the bass to finally stop.

And when it did, you immediately left the restroom.

You didn't want to see him. You weren't ready to. Just the thought of having to look him in the eye after your relationship ended in a screaming fight made you want to throw up. You wanted to get back to your friends as quick as possible.

But you weren't quick enough. Before you could walk any further, you felt someone's hand grabbing your wrist. You turned around in shock, your eyes immediately meeting his.

'' Can i talk to you ? '' Jake asked, his eyes burning holes into your skin.

'' No '' You coldly answered, freeing yourself from his hold before quickly running back to your friends.

Jake wasn't having it. He ran after you, not accepting the fact you didn't want to talk to him. But when he saw you sit down next to Theo, his heart dropped. He watched you cuddle up to him, before watching him whisper something into your ear.

'' I'm sorry for earlier. You okay ? '' Theo whispered. You nodded your head with another forced smile on your face, before intentionally kissing Theo's cheek.

You knew Jake was watching. You wanted to piss him off.

And it worked.

Jake was fuming. No words could ever describe how much he hated seeing you with someone else. But he knew he had to deal with it. It was his fault you weren't with him anymore.

He watched you with a clenched jaw, fighting back tears. But before any tears could fall, he heard one of his band members call his name from the back. Their show was about to start, and he had no idea how he was supposed to focus knowing you were watching him.

Meanwhile Theo looked at you with a surprised look on his face. He didn't expect you to kiss his cheek out of the blue. Especially not in front of your friends. But he decided to just shrug it off and not make a big deal out of it.

You couldn't help but watch Jake and his band members get on stage. You could feel your friend's intense stares, as they watched you closely. They didn't quite understand why you didn't look surprised when your ex boyfriend appeared on stage. Your eyes looked empty. And even when the lights went out, and the band finally started playing, you had no reaction. Your friends kept whispering into each others ears talking about how Jake only had eyes for you the entire time he was on stage.

He even messed up a few songs. He was clearly unfocused.

'' Before we play our last song, I'd like to ask our bassist if he wants to help me sing this one'' Heeseung, the vocalist spoke up, making everyone impatiently wait for Jake's answer.

You knew how nervous Jake was about singing in front of people.

You were an exception.

He used to sing a lot when you were around, which made you really happy because you loved hearing him sing. In your opinion he had the most comforting voice a person could ever have. Even if he was just talking.

'' Uhh ... sure '' Jake eventually answered, making the crowd cheer in excitement.

After Jake sat down next to Heeseung, you could hear him take a deep breath through the microphone. And as soon as he started to sing, the whole room went quiet.

Your friends were right. His eyes were on you the entire time. He didn't look away from you for even one second.

'' I still press your letters to my lips

and cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss

I couldn't face a life without your light

But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight ''

He sang, looking directly into your eyes.

You couldn't stop the tears falling from your eyes. And Theo only needed a few more seconds to understand what was going on.

You still loved Jake. Even after all the ugly words he had said to you. You didn't want to admit it, but it was true.

You chewed on your bottom lip, listening to your ex boyfriend pour his heart out on stage. And when you finally had the courage to hold eye contact with him, you noticed a few tears leaving his eyes as well.

When the song ended, you felt everyone's eyes on you. You quickly wiped away your tears, shifting in your seat uncomfortably.

'' Are you okay ? '' One of your friends silently mouthed, looking at you with pity in her eyes.

'' I'm fine '' You answered, nodding your head lightly.

The crowd was cheering, asking for another song when the band left the stage.

But to everyone's surprise they didn't come back.

They didn't come back because Jake immediately broke down after leaving the stage.

'' Im such a fucking idiot '' He cried, his hands covering his face.

Heeseung quickly sat down next to him, embracing him in a hug.

'' Stop saying that ''

'' No. You don't understand. I fucked up ''

'' Look, I don't know what exactly happened between you two, but I'm sure she still loves you. I could see it in her eyes. And if she really does loves you, she's gonna forgive you for whatever you've done'' Heeseung said, trying to comfort Jake.

'' I don't even want her to fucking forgive me. What if I hurt her again? She deserved so much better, Heeseung ''

'' You love her. You're not gonna hurt her again. ''

It started getting really late, and people started leaving. Even some of your friends started saying their goodbyes and eventually went back home.

'' So... are we gonna stop seeing each other ? '' Theo spoke up, leaving you surprised.

'' What ? ''

Theo chuckled.

'' By the way you looked at him I can tell you're in love. ''

Your words got stuck in your throat when you felt your eyes tear up once again.

'' You don't have to say anything. I understand. I just want you to know I wish you all the best and I want you to be happy. You deserve it. '' Theo said, pulling you into a hug. He smiled at you softly before walking out of the bar, leaving you completely alone.

Now that you were on your own, you decided to order one last drink before leaving. You enjoyed the calming atmosphere of the bar as you listened to the quiet music in the backround. You couldn't help but wonder how Jake was feeling. If you were being completely honest, you wished you could talk to him. You wished you would bump into him again before leaving. But there was no sign of him. He was probably gone, you thought.

But when you finished your drink and eventually got ready to leave, you were stopped by someone's voice calling your name. When you turned around, you saw Jake running towards you. His eyes looked all puffy, and his lips were swollen. You could tell he cried a lot. He stopped right in front of you, too scared to look you in the eye at first. He even hesitated to talk for a second. He didn't want to say anything he might regret later. He couldn't mess this up again.

'' You know I didn't mean any of the things i said to you, right ? ''

You looked down, pressing your lips together to stop yourself from crying again.

'' No. The moment you started raising your voice at me, I suddenly didn't recognize you anymore. I was scared of you. '' You explained.

Jake didn't have the strength to hold back his tears anymore. Instead, he broke down for a second time that night. Hearing you say you were scared of him made his heart drop.

As your boyfriend, he was supposed to make you feel safe. He was supposed to make you happy.

He choked on his tears, his hands covering his face again. You gently wiped your tears, before hesitantly pulling Jake into a hug. He immediately hugged you back, sobbing into your neck.

'' I'm so sorry '' He apologized between his sobs.

You closed your eyes, taking in his comforting scent before gently caressing his back.

You didn't say anything for a while. You only listened to him apologize over and over again without giving him an answer. And if you were being honest, you didn't even really want to answer. You only wanted to forget about everything that happened and hold him in your arms like this forever. He let out a shaky breath against your neck before lifting his head to look at you. You carefully wiped away his tears, before quickly pecking his trembling lips.

'' I'm sorry '' He said, resting his forehead against yours.

'' I know ''

'' I promise I'm gonna try to be a better person ''

You slowly cupped his cheeks, pulling him into a gentle kiss. Jake tried pulling you even closer, which was nearly impossible. He missed the feeling of your lips against his more than anything else, which lead him to take his sweet time kissing you. His hands found your waist as he kissed you deeply, not giving a shit about what other people might think seeing you like this. He only cared about showing you how much he loved you and somehow getting you back.

'' Can you give me another chance ? '' He whispered against your lips.

'' I can '' You answered, feeling another tear run down your cheek.

Unexpectedly, you suddenly heard Jake's band members cheer from behind you.

'' Thank fucking god !!! '' You heard them say, making you giggle.

'' Did y'all watch us the whole time ? '' Jake shouted, making his band members burst out laughing.

'' Looks like we did '' Heeseung answered, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

Jake groaned in annoyance, making you laugh quietly

'' So you think this is funny, huh ? '' He asked, looking at you with a cheeky smile on his lips.

'' I do ''

Jake smiled, gently kissing the tip of your nose before taking your hand.

'' Should we go home ? ''

'' Home as in … back to our home ? ''

'' Yes '' Jake whispered happily.

'' Sure '' You said, your lips curling into a soft smile.

After Jake put his bass guitar into the back of his car, you finally made your way back home. Your hands were intertwined as he was driving, and he didn't miss the chance to place a kiss on the back of your hand every now and then.

Even when you finally arrived at your shared apartment, you didn't let go of each other's hand. Jake quietly opened the door, and lead you inside before closing the door behind him. You looked at the mess around you, remembering the fight between You and Jake. You sighed deeply when you felt Jake hugging you from behind.

'' Let's go to sleep and clean up tomorrow, mh ? '' He whispered before placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

'' Let's never fight again '' He added.

You turned around in his hold, smiling at him.

'' What ? ''

'' I love you. '' You said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

'' I love you too. I love you so much '' He said, kissing you before leading you to your shared bedroom.

You got ready for bed together, stealing a few more kisses from each other before finally getting into bed. Jake pulled you into his arms, feeling happier than ever. You stared at him quietly, before pulling him into another deep kiss. You just couldn't get enough of him that day. You were so happy to be back in his arms. You were finally at peace. Jake gently caressed your skin under your oversized shirt while pouring all of his love into the kiss. And when you both got tired, you held each other as close as possible.

Jake was the first one to fall asleep.

You gently traced his facial futures with your fingers, quietly watching him sleep.

'' I love you '' Jake mumbled in his sleep.

You giggled lightly before kissing his lips one last time.

'' I love you too. ''

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ taglist - { @leiclerc , @itulipy …}

i‘m so inactive i‘m sorry y‘all

happy niki day !

happy sunghoon day !

happy jake day !

( love u sm may your life always be filled with joy. - lelia )

HAPPY HEESEUNG DAY !

when the party‘s over

( fluff! ) jake x f!reader oneshot

warnings! - { mentions of drugs, smoking, alcohol, swearing, flirting, first kiss, making out, love at first sight trope, reader x brother‘s best friend }

not proofread!

2.4k words! 💫

첫눈에 반하다 …

Every single person who ever knew you knows exactly how much you hated parties. 

Well, your parents were out of town and your brother was one of the most popular boys in school. He had a bunch of friends, and even more girls drooling over him. So he decided to throw a huge house party you were defnitely not going to join.

 You groaned into your pillow in annoyance whenever someone tried to forcefully open your bedroom door for whatever reason. 

But you were smart enough to lock it before the party had even started. 

Your plan was to just stay in your room until the party is over. So you did your makeup, dressed up just for fun and had your own little party in your room. 

Alone. Just how you liked it 

You rolled your eyes when you looked outside your window, seeing a bunch of strangers dancing in your garden. 

You watched them quietly for a few minutes before reaching for your water bottle, wanting to drink from it before realizing it was empty. 

'' Fuck... '' You whispered to yourself. You let out a loud fake cry when you realized you needed to leave your room to get a new bottle of water. You weren't ready to see people making out in every corner of your house. Just the thought of it made you feel sick to your stomach. People were probably smoking, or even doing drugs. They were probably doing stuff in your parent's room as well...

God, If your parents knew about this they would freak out. 

Your brother would be a dead man ... that's for sure

You sighed deeply before quickly opening your bedroom door, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes immediately hitting your nose. Just how you had expected it. You closed the door behind you before locking it again, preventing unwanted guests from entering your room. You hid the key in the plant next to your bedroom door, and slowly made your way downstairs.

The second you entered the kitchen you saw your brother having the time of his life. He was surrounded by a bunch of girls, and his seven stupidly handsome friends. You decided to just mind your own business until you felt someone tapping your shoulder. You turned around, immediately recognizing the girl in front of you. She squeals, looking at you with excitement in her eyes.

'' Tabitha ! What are you doing here ? I really thought you were better than this '' You whined, pulling your best friend into a hug. 

'' I really needed a night out. I've had a really stressful week. Where have you been ? ''

You sighed. You've been in your kitchen for nearly 5 minutes and your head was already killing you. Too many people were smoking, and you couldn't stand the smell of it

'' I've been hiding in my room ... you know how much i hate parties. I just came downstairs to get some water ''

Tabitha rolled her eyes at you. 

'' No. You look way too hot to be hiding in your room. So stop being boring and stay here with me. Let me get you a drink... ''

'' Please don't do this to me '' 

'' Shut up '' She said, dragging you over to the kitchen counter where you could choose between a bunch of different drinks. 

 You took a red cup from the counter, and filled it with an orange substance that could probably give you a sugar shock if you had too much of it. Tabitha smiled excitedly when she saw you taking a sip of your overly sweet drink. 

'' Does this mean you're gonna stay ? ''

You shook your head. 

'' No. I'm just thirsty...'' 

'' This is disgusting why would people even drink this ? '' You said, scrunching your nose

'' Whatever. I just saw some people I wanna say hi to ... I'll be right back '' Tabitha said, leaving a quick kiss on your cheek before disappearing in the crowd.

You sighed again, taking another sip of your drink. You looked around the room, watching your best friend talk to people you didn't know until you felt someone staring at you. You looked up, and your eyes met his right away. 

You both quickly looked away in shock, getting extremely shy. 

And for some reason, you couldn't help but smile. 

Your brother quickly noticed how silent his friend suddenly was. But he had other things to care about. 

Girls for example...

He was busy flirting when he suddenly felt Jake's hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to look at Jake, he looked hypnotized. 

'' Who is that ? '' Jake asked, his voice low. 

'' Who are you looking at ? '' Your brother raised an eyebrow in confusion. 

'' The girl in the floral dress... ''

Your brother looked at Jake with disgust written all over his face when he realized who he was staring at.

'' That's my sister '' He said, curling his lip in disgust. 

'' She's beautiful '' Jake whispered quietly, but loud enough for your brother to hear.

Your brother shook his head in disbelief.

'' You need to get your eyes checked, man '' 

Jake rolled his eyes, hitting your brother's shoulder playfully. It may sound pretty cheesy, but his heart skipped a beat when he looked at you. You looked incredibly beautiful in that dress. And the way your hair was slighly curled made you look even prettier. Jake hated your brother for not introducing him to you. You seemed so sweet...

He needed to talk to you. He needed to know what your voice sounded like. 

So when he noticed no one was paying attention to him, he took his cup and made his way to the other side of the kitchen counter where you were still waiting for your best friend to come back. He slowly refilled his cup, and carefully tried taking a glimpse of you without looking like a total creep. 

Well shit. You looked even better up close. 

'' Hey '' 

The boy next to you caught you by surprise. You didn't expect him to approach you. But you were glad he did. 

'' Hi '' You replied, blushing shyly. 

He was so close, you could smell his perfume. And oh god, he smelled amazing. 

'' So ... you're Nate's sister ? '' 

'' Yeah, sadly '' 

Jake giggled quietly, making you smile. 

'' And you are ? '' 

'' Oh ! I'm Jake. '' He softly shook your hand, making you giggle.

'' Hi Jake '' You smiled warmly.

'' Hi ... ? ''

'' Y/N... My name is Y/N ''

'' Hi Y/N '' Jake smiled with all teeth. He didn't even realize he was still holding your hand.

You saw Tabitha looking at you from the corner of your eye. And when you turned your head towards her, she mouthed an ''Oh My God'' with widened eyes. Her jaw was on the floor. You bit your lip, trying to hold yourself back from smiling like an idiot. 

'' Is everything alright ? '' 

You quickly looked back at Jake.

'' Yeah of course ! '' You said.

'' Why have I never seen you before ? ''

'' I don't know. I've never really been into parties, and i also don't really like hanging out with my brother. It's not like we hate each other, but our personalities are very different. Sometimes we don't get along...''

'' Yeah I can tell...''

You tucked your hair behind your ear, looking at Jake with a smile. 

He nervously took a sip of his drink, before scrunching his nose just like you did earlier. 

'' Oh my god ... what is this ? '' He said, looking at his drink in pure shock.

'' This is way too sweet. Why would people even drink that ? '' 

You laughed at his reaction, making him blush 

'' My exact words... '' You said in surprise, chuckling.

'' Do we have the same drink ? ''

'' Yeah I think we do ''

You guys spent an hour just talking to each other about a variety of different things. Like music, books, movies, some of your favorite memories and especially your family. You obviously didn't miss the opportunity to tell him about all the weird things your brother did when he was little. 

He didn't break his eye contact with you for even one second. He just couldn't look away from you. And the light blush on his cheeks made you feel all giddy inside.

He looked breathtaking. He was wearing a brown leather jacket with a white tank top, and some baggy jeans with a black belt. You had to stop yourself from staring a few times. 

You could see your brother watch you both in disgust. The way you were smiling at each other was too much for him. But you couldn't care less. 

'' Do maybe wanna go to my room ? We don't have to if that makes you uncomfortable but it's more quiet in there.. '' 

'' No, I'd love to. It's a good idea '' Jake smiled softly. 

'' Great '' You said, offering your hand to him. Jake giggled quietly before intertwining your hands, letting you lead him towards your room. 

You quickly opened your door, letting Jake walk into your room first before comfortably sitting down on your bed. There was still soft music playing in your room from earlier. Jake walked around your room in awe. He smiled looking at the pictures and posters on your wall.

 He thought about how people were extremely right when they said ''a girls room is a museum of everything she's ever loved''. 

He giggled looking at the baby pictures of you and your brother sitting next to each other while messily eating something that looked like strawberry ice cream. He took one more look around before carefully sitting down on your bed right next to you. 

You both didn't say anything for a few minutes. You calmly listened to the music playing in the backround, while enjoying each other's presence. 

'' I genuinely don't know why my brain just goes blank when I look at you. I think i'm going a little crazy '' Jake admitted, breaking the silence. 

'' I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that'' He added, covering his face 

You chuckled quietly, trying to remove his hands from his face. 

'' You're silly ''

'' And you're like really pretty '' He whispered, looking into your eyes this time. 

You caught yourself getting lost in Jake's eyes for a few seconds. And without realizing it, you ended up looking at Jake's lips. You had no idea you could get that comfortable with someone in just a few hours. You suddenly trusted him like no one else.

'' Y/N ? '' 

'' Yes ? '' 

'' Close your eyes... '' He said. And so you did. 

Something about being with Jake just felt incredibly right.

And just a few seconds later, you felt Jake's hands cup your cheeks and his hot breath against your lips. Your breath hitched when you felt his plump lips gently brush against yours, and you couldn't help but quickly close the tiny gap between your lips. The kiss started off slow, with his one hand on your cheek and the other one on your waist. He pulled you onto his lap, intensifying the kiss before quickly pulling away, leaving you confused.

'' Wait '' He whispered, breathing heavily 

'' Is this okay for you ? '' 

'' Of course it is '' 

'' It's not too much ? ''

'' No. Now shut up and kiss me '' You commanded, making him smile cheekily 

You felt him trap your bottom lip between his teeth before finally connecting your lips again, kissing you passionately. His fingers delicately caressed the skin of your thighs, making you whine into the kiss. He smiled against your lips, his hands roaming all over your body giving you goosebumps. 

He was really testing your patience. 

Jake gently helped you lay down on your back, before carefully hovering over you. He held your waist for support, deepening the kiss even more. Jake had never kissed anyone this deeply before. His touch was so gentle, but the way he kissed you was incredibly intense.

He kissed you with so much passion and ... love.

Before things could go even further, you softly broke the kiss. You both weren't able to open your eyes for a few minutes when you were breathing heavily against each other's mouths. Jake rested his forehead against yours, trying to catch his breath. He laid down next to you before pulling you against his chest, holding you close. You wrapped your arms around his waist, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. 

 He placed one last gentle kiss on your neck before looking at you with a soft smile.

'' Y/N ? ''

'' What ? '' 

'' You're a really good kisser '' 

You giggled, covering your face in embarrassment.

'' You were my first kiss '' You whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

Jake's eyes widened in surprise. There's no way he heard that right... 

'' You're joking '' 

'' I'm not '' You whined against his neck.

'' Look at me Y/N '' He said, making you look at him by lifting your chin.

You were flustured by the way he was looking at you. But you found comfort in his touch. 

'' This is all probably happening way too fast but let me take you out. Let's make memories together. ''

You smiled at him. 

'' I would love to ''

Jake gently pecked your lips, smiling like an idiot. He wasn't able to contain his smile anymore. He felt so happy... 

'' Do you believe in love at first sight ? ''

You rested your forehead against his, closing your eyes. You inhaled his scent, feeling at ease.

'' I do... '' 

You and Jake knew exactly where this conversation was going. You could basically read each other's minds at this point. 

'' I didn't believe in it a few hours ago ... but now I sure do '' He explained, making you blush. You giggled at the way he was looking at you. Like you were the most beautiful person he has ever seen...

'' You're gonna drive me crazy... '' He said.

'' Trust me, I'm gonna love the heck out of you… '' 

'' Trust me Jake, so will I...''

- end

taglist - { @heuiton , @leiclerc … }

I could have lied

( angst/fluff ) sunghoon x f!reader oneshot

masterlist !

warnings - { heartbreak, crying, swearing, alcohol, drunk calling, kissing, making out, angst with a happy ending, sunghoon becoming a dad }

2.6k words!

'' What the- ... it wasn't even supposed to rain today!  '' You angrily whispered to yourself as soon as a few raindrops started falling from the sky. 

Your day wasn't going too well. Your boss was getting on your nerves, you spilled some very hot coffee on your freshly washed clothes, you missed your bus home , and now it eventually started raining. You were in the middle of nowhere, and you had no umbrella to save your clothes from getting drenched in water. So you had no other choice than running home. 

'' Slow down ... your shoe laces are untied ! '' You suddenly heard a familiar voice say from behind you. You knew exactly who it was, and it made your blood boil. That's why you tried to ignore the person behind you by quickly tying your shoe laces so you could quickly get out of his sight. 

But you weren't quick enough. 

He was quick enough to hold the umbrella over your head, preventing you from getting even more wet than you already were. And you hated yourself for feeling something when you smelled his perfume. 

'' I don't need your help, Sunghoon. '' You said, trying to sound as cold as possible.

Sunghoon was your Ex -Situationship who ran away like a loser after you told him you fell in love with him. 

He left you crying and heartbroken for weeks. 

There have been a few incidents where he drunk called you, telling you how much he misses being with you just for you to find out he has been hooking up with his best friend's ex the day after. You absolutely hated him. But even after everything he has done, it was so hard for you to stay away from him. You were still in love with him. And you hated yourself even more for that. 

'' I want to help you tho... '' 

'' Just leave me alone '' You answered before quickly getting back up, not even looking at him before you started walking away from him. You couldn't hide the fact you were shivering from the cold. Sunghoon immediately noticed. But you didn't want his help. And he needed to accept that. 

As soon as you got home, you got out of your wet clothes and started looking for dry ones. You went through your closet, picking out an oversized hoodie and some sweatpants. Right before you were about to close the door of your closet, something caught your eye. You quickly took the piece out, and looked at it with teary eyes. It was a red hot chili peppers shirt. It used to be Sunghoon's until he gifted it to you after finding they're one of your favorite bands. 

That was one thing you had in common. Your taste in music.

 You hesitantly put the shirt under your nose, trying to find out if it still smelled like him. And it did. 

'' Fuck '' You silently cussed, holding back tears when the smell of his shirt hit your nose.

How were you supposed to stay away from him when you longed for him so much ?

You sat down on your bed with the shirt still in your hands, staring at it for a few more minutes. You already knew you were cry yourself to sleep again that night. You've been trying so hard to get over him, but nothing has been helping you achieve that goal. You knew it would get even harder after the encounter you both had that day. So all you could do was go to sleep and be patient with yourself.

Sunghoon on the other hand, was at a bar getting drunk with his friends once again. He was having a lot of fun. But he couldn't seem to get you out of his mind. Every little thing reminded him of you. And he couldn't make it stop. He tried to distract himself by drinking some more, which seemed to help for a moment until dani california started playing at the bar. 

Was this some stupid prank ?

'' It's getting kind of late ... I'm going home. '' Sunghoon said all of a sudden, making his friends raise an eyebrow.

'' Are you good, man ? '' One of his friends asked, finding Sunghoon's behavior weird. He was usually always the last one to leave the bar. 

'' Yeah don't worry. I'm just tired '' He said, before quickly sneaking out. 

Sunghoon sighed deeply when the cold air hit his face. He took his phone out of his pocket, and tipsily dialed your number. But since it was like 3AM, you were already asleep. 

When Sunghoon had finally accepted you wouldn't pick up the phone, he decided to leave a voicemail. 

'' Look I know I failed you and I know you don't wanna talk to me. But trust me i've been suffering a lot. No matter what I think about, I always end up thinking about you and it's slowly driving me insane. I think i really miss you and it's scaring me to death. I know you probably won't forgive me for what i've done to you but I'm just so scared of falling in love. And that's exactly why I left. I started catching feelings for you as well. I've been hurt so many times in the past and i didn't want to feel that kind of pain ever again. I was so fucking egoistic I didn't even think about how much my actions would hurt you. And I'm sorry. I promise. I know I messed up and I feel like an Idiot. Can we just talk it out ? I mean you don't have to but i'd really appreciate it. I've got some things to say to you ! I'll go try to find a way home now ... good night Y/N. I really enjoyed seeing you earlier... I mean it '' 

The next morning you sat on your bed, showing your best friend Amaya the voicemail you received last night. 

'' Oh god ... Is he drunk ? '' She asked, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. 

'' Pretty sure he is ... ''

You had no idea how to react to Sunghoon's message. You're sure you've listened to it for at least 20 times since you've woken up and you still had no idea what to do. 

'' He's pathetic ! '' 

'' What do I do ? '' You said, burying your face in your hands in distress 

'' Block him '' Amaya said, smiling cheekily. 

You glared at her.

'' Can you give me a serious answer please ? ''

'' You know what I think about this whole situation, Y/N . But even If you choose to hear him out, I'll fully stand behind you. I just don't want you to get hurt by that dickhead again. Does what he said to you in that voicemail sound genuine ? Yeah. Maybe. But i need you to be careful.  '' 

'' So you think I should give him a chance ? ''

'' He doesn't deserve it but i think you should at least listen to whatever he has to say ''

'' You're right ... '' You admitted. 

You had no idea if you were even ready to hear Sunghoon out. The thought of having to look him in the eyes already made your heart beat at least ten times faster. 

You were scared. 

'' I know you can do it '' Amaya said, pulling you into her arms to comfort you. 

'' Thank you Amaya ''

You quickly picked up your phone, trying to figure out what to say. 

It took Sunghoon only a few seconds to answer. Even tho he got drunk, he couldn't sleep the whole night. The thought of you and your reaction to his voicemail kept him up. 

Sunghoon's hands were shaky. He didn't expect you to be so open to him. 

He looked around his room, checking if he needs to clean it before letting you in. 

Sunghoon quickly put his phone aside, taking a deep breath in. He knew if he fucked up this time it would be over. He'd never see you again. And he couldn't let that happen. 

Eventually you found yourself standing in front of his door. Your hands were shaking when you quickly pressed the doorbell before taking a step back. Standing in front of his house felt incredibly weird. Especially after everything that happened between you two. 

Sunghoon slowly opened the door, immediately taking in your intimidated state. You stood there with your head lowered , trying to avoid looking at him. You were sure your heart was about to jump out of your chest. 

'' Wanna come in ? '' Sunghoon spoke up. You lightly nodded your head before slowly walking into his house, still not daring to look at him. You followed him straight into his room, trying to hold back tears when you noticed he kept the painting you once made for him. He put it on the wall right next to his bed.

 You painted a sunflower for him, which has always been your favorite flower. It was also his favorite. 

Sunghoon sat down in the middle of his bed. You hesitated a few seconds before doing the same. And for the first time in a while, you finally looked at him. 

You felt your heart sink when you noticed him already looking at you with big eyes. Neither of you said anything for a few minutes. You were only staring at each other, getting used to the feeling you both had in your chests. 

Sunghoon broke the silence when he cleared his voice.

'' I owe you an apology. '' He said. 

Sunghoon wished he could just run away like he always did. But you were right there on his bed looking at him with teary eyes. He knew he owed you an explanation. 

'' When you told me you caught feelings I got scared. I told you my feelings weren't mutual. But I don't think that's true. I realized how incredibly stupid it was to shut you out when all i need is your presence. I miss you more every single day and it's driving me insane. I'm terrified, Y/N. I'm so scared of falling in love even tho I know I can trust you. I tried using other girls to get you out of my head without thinking about how much it would hurt you. I was being a total dick ! ''

He said, wiping a tear off his rosy cheek. 

'' You didn't deserve any of this. You didn't deserve any of the pain I put you through and I'm more than sorry. If you don't wanna see me anymore I understand. I don't even deserve having you in my life at this point. But I just needed you to know how sorry I am ... '' He continued.

You shut your eyes, preventing a tear from falling from your eye. You hated everything about this whole situation. You wanted to kiss the three little moles on is face and tell him everything is gonna be alright but it wasn't that easy. 

You were hurt, and you couldn't just pretend everything's okay. 

'' I forgive you, Sunghoon. But I need time... '' You said, making Sunghoon look at you.

'' Why would you forgive me that easily ? ''

'' Because I love you. ''

Your words hit Sunghoon like a hurricane. 

'' After everything i've done you still love me ? '' He wondered, constantly trying to control his tears. 

'' Yes. More than anyone i've ever met ... and It hurts. ''

Sunghoon let out a quiet sob before carefully pulling you into his arms. He hid his face in the crook of your neck and cried. It broke your heart seeing him like this.

Being in Sunghoon's arms after such a long time felt unreal. You felt your heart beat in your chest when you felt his hot breath against your neck. 

'' Is this okay for you ? '' He whispered. 

It felt like your words got stuck in your throat. 

You nodded your head, heart beating faster each second. 

And just a second later, you felt his lips on your neck. He started kissing you there before moving up to your jawline , ending up leaving small kisses all over your face. Starting off with your cheeks, then your nose, your forehead, your chin and eventually your lips. 

That was the moment you couldn't hold back anymore. 

You pushed him down into the mattress by his chest and climbed on top of him, deepening the kiss. Sunghoon put his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, before gently biting your bottom lip with his fangs. He felt butterflies explode in his stomach when you shyly smiled into the kiss. You felt like your skin was on fire when you felt his fingers tracing your bare waist. He gently caressed your back, which made a huge contrast to the intensity of the kiss. 

'' I'm so sorry '' He whispered against your lips, trying not to break the kiss. 

After a few more minutes of making out, you finally broke the kiss. Out of breath you looked into each others eyes, trying to process what just happened.

'' I promise I'm never gonna hurt you ever again '' Sunghoon whispered, resting his forehead against yours.

You forced a smile, pulling Sunghoon into your arms this time. 

'' Let's take this slow alright ? One step at a time. '' You requested. 

'' I'd do anything for you. I just need you to stay with me ... ''

'' Then don't mess this up ''

'' I won't. '' 

And he didn't.

'' Dad ! ''

'' I'm coming ! '' Sunghoon shouted from downstairs, quickly running upstairs to find his daughter sitting on the floor of her room with a few markers and a piece of paper. She was busy drawing, and she was more than excited to show her dad the finished result. 

Sunghoon watched her with a big smile when she did her finishing touches on the drawing. She proudly held the piece of paper up when she was done, making Sunghoon giggle at her cuteness. 

'' This is so beautiful Lily ! You did such a good job '' He said, kneeling down next to her.

'' It's a sunflower ! '' She beamed, making Sunghoon smile even harder.

A Sunflower... 

Sunghoon giggled.

'' I can tell. Can i have it ? '' 

'' I want you to share it with mommy ! '' 

'' What do you want him to share with me, princess ? '' You said all of a sudden, also showing up in your daughter's room. 

'' Mommy ! I drew a sunflower ... '' Lily said excitedly, holding up her drawing once again so you could take a better look at it.

'' Oh Lily I absolutely love it ! Sunflowers have always been my favorite '' You said, taking the drawing from Lily's small hands.

Sunghoon placed a chaste kiss on your lips when you sat down next to him, making your daughter quickly cover her eyes. 

You both giggled at your daughter's gesture, making her laugh along with you almost immediately. 

Her laugh was the cutest. You could listen to it for hours...

Sunghoon quickly came up with the idea to place Lily on his lap and tickle her relentlessly. He smiled widely when her dimples showed up. She looked so much like you when she smiled...

You watched them, happy about your decision about giving Sunghoon a second chance. 

He's the most perfect dad a daughter could ever ask for, and the most perfect fiancé you could ever ask for.

He was the love of your life. 

- end

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