── .✦ I love you, between us
Pairing : ¡idol!Lee Felix x reader
For many months, Felix and Yn have lived a hidden but happy life.
Determined to protect Yn from the constraints of his idol life, Felix has naturally chosen to keep their relationship a secret - to the point of telling no one, not even his members.
Despite stolen dates and whispered conversations in the dead of night, their bond grew stronger. Every glance exchanged, every moment stolen from the hustle and bustle of fame, only confirmed what they already knew: what they shared was worth protecting.
But keeping such a precious secret is not without consequences. As time goes by, the line between public and private life becomes harder to maintain. Felix juggles his responsibilities and his feelings, while Yn, though happy, begins to feel the weight of silence.
And yet, neither of them is ready to give up. Yet.
One morning, after spending the night with his beloved, Felix quietly prepares to leave for the studio.
Yn is in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches to her housework.
- I'm going to stop by the dormitory before rehearsals... Do you have any more cookie dough?
She looks up at the fake blond who has just entered the kitchen, and gives him a small smile.
- Do you want some for yourself or for everyone?
- For the boys. I told them they'd get some.
Yn approaches him with a teasing look.
- And you said I made them?
However, his gaze is a little evasive at the end of his sentence.
- But don't worry, they'll just be happy to eat them.
She freezes for a moment. But she smiles anyway. Because she's learned to deal with it. Because she loves it. So she gets up, goes to the kitchen, and bakes the cookies. He takes them with him, gives her a quick kiss and leaves.
Much later in the afternoon, Yn calls Félix, with a view to telling him about the adventure that has just befallen him.
The latter is quick to answer.
- Hey, you're just in time, I was going to send you a message.
- Oh, yeah? I'm calling to tell you something crazy, you'll laugh.
- Go ahead, I'm listening.
She starts to tell the story, cheerful, laughing at times. Félix listens, participates, laughs with her. Then, in the middle of their exchange, she hears voices behind him.
- Dude, tell Jisoo thanks for the cookies!
- They were amazing, seriously! She's got it down pat!
Yn says nothing more. Neither is Felix.
- Did you tell them your best mate made the cookies? The ones I baked while you were at my place this morning? The ones you watched get cold while you kissed me?
- I didn't mean anything by it, I just didn't want them to wonder.
- So you'd rather make me look like an invisible, average chick than have to assume that someone cares about you?
- It's not that, Yn, you know very well how I feel about you. I just wanted to protect what we have.
- By trying to protect us, you're making me disappear.
Silence. A long one. Too long.
- Yn, I'm sorry. I screwed up.
- Yeah, you did. You did. And the worst part... I'm starting to get used to it.
Around him, the guys continue to chat, unsuspecting. He says nothing. He gets up, leaves the living room without a word, and locks himself in his room.
He sits on the bed, runs his hands over his face, sighs deeply.
His gaze falls on the tote bag beside his suitcase - the one Yn gave him two months ago, on the sly. He remembers her words that night:
- This way, even if nobody knows it's me, you'll know.
He grabs his phone. Types "Yn" into his contacts. Stays stuck on her name for long seconds, thumb hanging over the screen. Then he locks the device and leaps to his feet.
He doesn't send a message.
He puts on his jacket and hat, and leaves the dormitory without telling anyone.
Night has fallen when there's a gentle knock on the door. Yn, her eyes red and her face tired, hesitates for a moment. Then she opens the door.
Félix is there. Out of breath. His eyes shining.
- I know I should have asked if I could come.
- You shouldn't be here, Felix.
He looks down. Nods gently.
- I know you shouldn't. But I needed to see you. Not to make amends. Just to let you know I'm here. That I'm tired of being a coward. And if I have to choose between hiding what we are or losing you... I choose you.
Yn stares at him. Silent.
- I don't want to be your secret.
- Then let me show you that you're not it. That you were never that.
A moment of silence. Then she steps aside, slowly, giving way to him.
Félix enters. Closes the door behind him. Gently. As if afraid the slightest noise might change her mind.
And in the quiet of this apartment, in the midst of all the things they haven't said to each other, he understands one thing: loving someone in secret isn't bad... as long as you don't forget to make her feel loved.
The silence in the apartment is heavy, but not hostile. Just charged. Félix stands there, hands in his pockets, eyes on her as if afraid she might disappear.
Yn crosses her arms against her chest.
- You can't just barge in here and think everything's going to be all right because you said the right words.
- I know I can't. I didn't come here so you'd forgive me tonight. I'm here to prove that I deserve it. That you're not just some secret I'm hiding, you're what I'm protecting... and now I don't want to hide you anymore.
She watches him. Suspicious. But part of her wants to believe. She's always wanted to.
- And how do you plan to do that, hm? Tell your members you're in love with a girl they've never seen? That you've been lying to them for months?
- It's not that simple, Felix.
- No. But it's necessary. You have no idea how scared I was today. Because I felt I'd really lost you. And that's when I realized that if I go on like this, I'm going to break you... and myself.
Yn looks down. She says nothing.
Then Félix moves forward slowly. He takes his phone out of his pocket. Types a message. And hands it to her.
- You can press "send" if you like. Otherwise, I'll do it myself. I don't want any backtracking.
"I've got something to tell you. There's someone in my life. Her name is Yn. It's been months. I'm in love with her. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."
- À 100%. It's the only thing I've ever been so sure of.
She stares for a second. Then, slowly, she presses "send".
Yn lets out a small, almost nervous laugh.
- You've just triggered the end of the world, you know.
- Or just the beginning of a slightly more honest world.
He hugs her. She clings to him as if she's been holding her breath for too long.
And this time, she finally feels visible.