Kitchen Witch

I love that the ibuprofen knows where to go

IDGAF if the women in my fiction are empowering or aspirational, I'm an adult, I don't need role models, I want the women in my fiction to be interesting, and if that involves being pathetic, hypocritical, amoral, or trapped in a delightfully dysfunctional relationship so be it

#'this is so illegal/toxic/unhealthy'#yeah bestie thats why im reading about it instead of doing it

So my sister is on vacation and has sent me a photo of the store she was buying clothes in.

I'm going to lose it.

never forgive trigger for what they cut

started ranting abt this to a friend... i'm still so irritated that they didn't include this

It also emphasizes how different this is from the magic we've seen from her before. Like, it was a major, albeit comedic, plot point that her water walking spell doesn't even work if your hair is too dirty. She isn't super particular about hygiene just because she likes to be clean, or thinks it's icky otherwise, this is a serious practical concern that her magic doesn't work as well without that purity. A difficult spell, requiring precision and with high stakes for failure, you would expect her to spend an hour beforehand fastidiously sterilizing everything involved like she's about to do brain surgery.

But this isn't that kind of spell. This spell is playing by an entirely different set of rules. This is magic that was created by, and for, people who are soaked in blood.

how the absolute FUCK am i supposed to live long and prosper in these conditions

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

i am as white as a white american can get and the thought of using the white color emojis sickens me to the bone. bitch if you dont make me simpsons yellow

whoever invented beds was a fucking genius im just all cozied up in here like u don't even know how cozy i am

saw this absolute king at the Paris Miku Expo

babygirl I'm avoiding things that I don't even know about

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

What if boobs had a one-time explosion use where you could literally blow your tits off either as a defense mechanism or just because you no longer want them

A booby trap if you will

Okay hear me out. What if nipples had stingers

change does not come from a place of comfort

I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time, so I don’t know what you are talking about

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

listen she may have just been humoring you but even my limited experience with Romanian nuns has taught me that there is one thing they are absolutely dead serious about and it is their multi-generational fear of vampires

any of you ever stand with your hands kinda touching together sorta like this

you’ll be reduced down to a single atom once im done with you