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I know a crazy when I see one, because I am crazy.

@literaryavenger / literaryavenger.tumblr.com

| 22 | aspiring writer, professional dumbass Blog currently under construction...

For basically all my fics the warnings are pretty much the same: Swearing, fluff, angst, mostly happy endings and my shit humor. I don't do smut so all ages are welcome, but enter at your own risk 'cause I really do swear a lot. If that's not your thing, that's okay too just don't hate. Requests are welcome and in this new year I'm going to try and work towards posting the numerous requests I've already gotten. Likes, reblogs, comments and messages are always appreciated!

Everybody pictures Bucky joining the team as a broody, sour and glaring machine, but what if he just... Isn't? Because I can honestly picture him as like Jim from The Office.

Like, after he recovers in Wakanda and they manage to stop Thanos before he can get all the stones because Thor went for the head, life settles into a routine as the Avengers work together to keep the peace on Earth (and the rest of the Universe in Thor and the Guardians of the Galaxy's case) and living at the Compound.

Slowly, an organization not unlike Shield starts growing again, but this time it's done the right way with Steve as the leader next to Fury and no Hydra or Red Room or purple alien grape with a nutsack chin plotting behind the scenes.

Of course, this means the Avengers have to train new cadets. Each member gets their own class to teach between missions until they're ready to graduate to agents and then the cicle starts all over again.

Bucky is mostly fine with this, the cadets are competent enough and respect him because they know his history, (also who wouldn't respect an Avenger that literally helped save the Universe?) but every once in a while he gets a cocky, insubordinate, defiant cadet that takes advantage of his easy-going nature. And he doesn't know how to handle it.

"I have to make an example out of him." Bucky mutters lowly to you as you both discreetly watch Cadet Johnson take a break from training with the other agents-in-training he convinced to relax instead of doing the exercise Bucky politely requested ordered they do.

"I could yell at him?" Bucky looks at you with a small frown.

"Can you yell?" You raise an eyebrow at him, mostly amused.

"Oh, I yell." Bucky insists. "You've heard me yell."

"I've heard you exclaim." You correct him after thinking about it for a moment. "Like that time you said, 'Hey, we parked over here!'"

"Well, that was Plums Day. There's no need to yell that day." He says like it's obvious as he turns back to look at the trainees. "I was just excited to find our car after leaving the farmer's market. Perfect end to a perfect day."

You almost want to laugh and coo at him at how cute and innocent he seems when he talks like that, but you simply kiss his cheek.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Sarge." You pat his arm and make your way out of the training room, leaving an adorably pouty Bucky behind.

Beefy Baker Bucky

Perhaps I’m a menace for this but imagine chubby baker bucky who is an even bigger menace and I think this should be deleted.

“What’s wrong cupcake” he cooed, feeding you another bite of his profiteroles, “I thought these were your favourite, you’re making a mess sugar”

You choked a sob, moaning when he slowly dragged his cock back out, just to slam it into you again, his thick body littered with red lines from where you clawed at him. All the clothes in the floor were dusted with cocoa and icing sugar, while he kept going right on his work space with your legs wrapped around his waist, his large frame holding you up right.

“It’s-s-so good”

“Just so good? You want my cream instead doll, is that it? Daddy didn’t fill his princess enough? All you had to do was ask pretty girl”

“Got so much for ya baby, see” he gently cupped the back of your head to look at where you were both connected, a complete creamy white debauched mess covering his cock and your thighs. “Cock is so swollen baby, there’s so much cum for you, might be able to stuff all of you, you want that”

Your broken cries and moans made him more feral, desperate to cover you in his cum, his load always big enough to soak you.

“I know your hungry baby girl, my princess is always so hungry for cream and milk” his eyes flicked down to the sensitive bundle of nerves that throbbed between your legs, his favourite thing to have his mouth on, “Awww baby girl, it’s so swollen” Bucky cooed, bringing his calloused thumb to swipe over your clit making jolt.

“Daddy!”

“What is it Bub” he feigned innocence, rubbing faster, not giving you a chance to gather yourself, your orgasm ripping through without warning.

“FUCK DADDY!”

He started to fuck you harder, his own climax warming his body, his cock swelling, balls heavy and full.

“You want your milk now baby?” he licked up your neck, humming at the sugar that had fallen onto your collar bone, pulling his cock out while you dumbly nodded and whimpered.

“Go a head princess, nurse off my cock, make daddy feel better” he pulled you off the counter and down into your knees, shoving his length into your needy mouth. Your eyes rolled back at his taste, bobbing your head and swirling your tongue, desperate to taste every drop he was ready to give you.

“So greedy, that’s all you needed, huh? My baby wanted her bottle so bad? Drink up, c’mon, my good girl feeding off daddy so well”

You moaned around his cock, the vibrations making his balls twitch.

“S’that it? You wanted your bottle baby, you got all needy and pouty because you were hungry for something else? My dumb little princess, nursing so good”

“I’ll feed ya’ so well baby, there’s so much for you, don’t worry” he took your hand, cupping them over his heavy sac, groaning at the gentle squeeze you gave.

His massive framed loomed over you, almost godlike, long dark hair with messy tendrils around his face, unforgiving strength holding your head down while your nails dug into his burly thighs. His head was thrown back, deep moans growling louder, body tensing.

“You’re gonna make me cum baby, M’gonna fill that little mouth right up-OH FUCKKK” he stilled, his cock throbbing, his warmth spilling right down your throat.

You lapped up the streams that continued to pour, a few landing on your tummy and breasts, a pretty picture for him to think of later when he had his hand between his legs.

You took one of the vanilla macarons near by, swiping it along your body, collecting his silky streams before popping it in my mouth, making Bucky growl, his semi hard cock twitching again.

“Tastes good daddy” your eyes rolled back, plucking another and doing the same till you were all cleaned up. “Wan more”

You pouted while Bucky smirked, shoving his cock back in your mouth, gently thrusting.

“Whatever my baby wants, this time m’fill that tight little hole”

I went from fanning myself at Bucky’s dirty mouth to almost pissing myself laughing at the image, I can’t 😂😭😂😭

I was just rewatching Infinity War and I got to Rocket saying ‘Oh, I’ll get that arm’ and my first thought was HE GOT THE ARM FOR CHRISTMAS IN THE END! then I was like— WAIT!

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday special came out in 2022…

The Falcon And The Winter Soldier came out in 2021…

That means that he got his arm stolen about a year after that…

So my question now is…

Are they gonna acknowledge that in Thunderbolts*?😂

Like I just want a scene where Bucky’s like absolutely done with Alexei and he goes ‘I haven’t had this bad a time since I got my arm stolen by a goddamn cyborg for a goddamn raccoon and I had to have it replaced. AGAIN.’ and does not elaborate for anybody he just moves on like nothing happened.

Bucky, doing the dishes: who the fuck used this pan? Bucky: wait. I the fuck used this pan... Y/N: it was you the fuck. Bucky: it was I the fuck... Tony: who the fuck cooks rice in a pan? Sam: he the fuck. Steve: LaNgUaGe!
Me: *doing the dishes after making chicken and rice*
My brain, as I wash the pan where I made the chicken:

WORTH IT

Summary: When a case doesn't go as planned, you can't help but question if your job is worth it.

Pairing: Dad!Figure!Rossi x Reader.

Warnings: Descriptions of violence. Descriptions of death. Slight teasing. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1.3K

A/N: Yes, I know. I suck at following self-imposed deadlines, don't @ me, I hate myself enough for all of us. This is my first time writing for anything other than Marvel, but I love Criminal minds and I had this dream that I couldn't get out of my head. So I took a couple of hours to write it down in a way that makes sense instead of being a borderline fever dream and I hope it finds the right people and someone likes it. More to come, I promise.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. A gun pointed to your temple while you kneel down, about to be executed in an underground tunnel somewhere in the middle of Idaho while a frightened mother and her innocent son watch from the corner, their whimpers filling the air.

It was supposed to be a simple case, there were already good leads on the UnSub before JJ even got the request for help, but local police felt overwhelmed by the rapid escalation of the executions and were worried they’d soon have a spree killer on the loose, then the Unsub escalated to abducting a ten year old from his house where he lived with his mother and brother.

So the team flew to the small town in Idaho to lend a hand, doing what you do best and coming up with a profile for the UnSub based on every detail you could gather.

What you didn’t profile, however, was that the UnSub would show up at the scene of the abduction while you and Rossi were checking it out, and you’d end up witnessing the masked man executing the child. A goddamn ten year old. 

🗣️ 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝐶𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑡

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑡 :

Remind me what’s the name of the movie? He IS the plot!🗣️🫠❤️‍🔥

If I was writing/directing Thunderbolts it would be filmed like a Real Housewives Show or like Bad girls club and every 10 minutes they would cut to Bucky in his confessional on the phone with Sam talking about how much every one is pissing him off and how much he misses Sam.

Anonymous asked:

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

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odairgothefeels

this need to be on everyone’s blog

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whybandswhyy

this makes me think..

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janoskipornhub

God bless whoever wrote this.

I never usually reblog things like this.. but if it saves just one persons life… please take thime to read this even if you think there is no point in living. Please.

please please PLEASE reblog this

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badass-boytoy

Reblog yet again for the people that need this

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kiiwidolans

reblogging for my followers

Life’s too precious. If you feel like this, please know that it gets better. And that people are always happy to lend an ear; heck drop me a message too. But never, ever think about taking your own life.

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yutassecrettime

every single time I read this,i remember how i tried back then. but don’t do it.

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thatchickavai

please reblog if you’re reading this!!!

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themarauders-and-lucienswhore

Reblog besties, This is really important.

So many people need to see this. Reblog. Please.

You matter. Your life matters. You will get through this.

Oh god…

You killed everyone else around you too.

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