10/15/24: ask box is temporarily closed due to heart problems.

12/17: ask box temporarily open!

I got a car! thank you so much everyone! the car has already allowed me to get better medical care! and I found out something amazing: just being somewhere else makes me so much healthier than I thought possible!

I will be going back and forth between epic and safe locations and the place that makes me sicker™ until I can figure out how to get medical treatments covered elsewhere. this might take a while. I am going to do my best to get stronger, because I have decided I want to die of old age! thank you for being a part of my life!

if you want to help support my never-ending quest in financial independence from an abusive situation that is seriously jeopardizing my health, you can still toss some spare coins to my ko-fi!

all of my checkmarks were gifts. I am very ill. they are like flowers to me.

why did you change your pinned post?

there are a lot of people asking me for advice for their medical emergencies. I appreciate that you think so highly of me and I am not mad at anyone for being scared. but I am not a doctor, I am not an EMT, I am not a medical helpline, I am not trained to handle this much grief, I am a terminally ill person who tells jokes online.

hey I have a new and sudden heart thing/chest pain/fluttery feeling/heart weirdness going on. what should I do?

heart disease is the most common cause of death in the world. the only way to know if your life is in immediate danger is by being checked out using specialized hospital equipment. minutes can be the difference between life or death. go to the emergency room.

should I ask for your opinion on whether or not I should go to the emergency room?

no. just go to the emergency room. you will get a free bracelet

I have an urgent medical question! should I ask you about it?

no. I am not a doctor. see if there are any nurse hotlines or insurance advice hotlines near you that may be able to give you advice.

you are cool and funny and I am financially stable and will not hurt from sending you some cash, where can I send some hot dollars?

fuck yeah I love money as high fived to me by people who will not hurt as a result. here is my ko-fi

I also have a health amazon wishlist and a non-health amazon wishlist! these go to me and are addressed to john as in, john doe.

stream broke 🫡

WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL??????

if you start acting out your dreams that is one of those things you want to tell a doctor immediately because it can be a (sometimes very very very early) sign of neurodegeneration

do your best to drink ample water and eat ample fiber because chronic constipation can be a sign, sometimes a very very early sign, of some pretty major medical conditions. if your constipation is not caused by diet you want that checked out ASAP

going through medical presentations about my genre of medical conditions and just feeling the life drain out of me as it hits harder and harder that I could put in all the effort in the world and never have one functional adult year in my life. maybe not even a month. and the only way to find out is to do my best and never stop doing my best. and even if I do my best I might never be able to experience independence and will instead have wasted countless hours trying to try harder and barking up trees that fall on me anyway instead of spending that time trying to make money. because for all the effort I put into trying to stay alive, I could spend a fraction of this energy doing any of this if I just had enough money. that would make up for it. that would finally let me rest

but for now, I am in pain from taking notes as I go through these presentations again looking for any hint that might make me even a crumb stronger.

I want to rest some day. I want to be able to afford to rest someday

salmon run forecast

for the next several hour, we got:

recycled brella - squelcher dualies - dapple dualies - rapid blaster pro on hydroplant with cohozuna.

dapple is unbelievably good in salmon run, especially with a cohozuna to shred. extremely high DPS. remember to roll! rapid blaster pro has the range to blast stingers from safety. squelchers have great range and some rolls to get out of trouble, brella has great versatility. what is not to like?

but the rotation after that is way better.

marooner's bay. wait come back

dread wringer - sploosh - jet squelcher - h-3 nozzlenose with horrorboros

this is really really fucking good. you have the range to hit things without leaving the boat, and you have some close up DPS with that sploosh to clear things around the basket once you get overrun on high tide. the nozzlenose is the weak spot here, because a lot of people just hate using nozzlenose. dread and jet squelcher have the range to splat the boris bomb, so this is easy king fishing! if everyone sticks together, yes even glowflies will work out just fine.

maybe I will actually hit a marooner's bay checkpoint on this rotation...?

after that we have spawning grounds with megalodontia and

s-blast - douser dualies - splat dualies - squiffer

very versatile and very mobile rotation here. s-blast gives you the option of getting some close-up shots or a little bit of range, and squiffer charges while moving around for some quick snipes. the dualies here give a lot of mobility while trying to avoid megalodontia. not as good as the marooner's bay rotation, but hey. not too bad either. glowflies will take some coordination and positioning. if you are in EVP, I better not catch you wall clinging!

if you read this far, you win! I have a present for you, whoever has read this far. I humbly offer you: an all random!

‼️all random on bonerattle arena with triumvirate‼️

this weekend we have a really fun rotation on arguably the most fun stage, bonerattle! a ton of places to climb and a ton of ways to get there! this is one of the newer additions to salmon run, so if you have not played it yet, this is an awesome time to check it out! pro tip: you can throw splatbombs while on the inkrails!

but if you are busy this weekend, the next rotation after that is also really good.

salmonid smokeyard with horrorboros and

splatana stamper - clash blaster - splattershot - wellstring

the stamper is great for clearing the basket on high tide. clash blaster is really good with filtering chum during glowflies. splattershot needs no introduction and wellstring is very versatile! I like to see a lot of long range for horrorboros, so this is a little disappointing king-wise, but this is going to be a pretty well-balanced rotation as long as your team is used to the weapons. and the sound of the clash blaster.

there is a really fun week ahead of us! see you on site!

every april first I, as someone with conditions that can flare and hospitalize me at any time, get really worried. what if the Fucking

I wish at least my dreams could be as vivid and fun as they used to be so I could wake up with happy memories of living somewhere else

hyperadrenergic

I have to give it my all every day for the privilege of just seeing tomorrow and one day I dream of being able to actually live some of those days, too

hyperadrenergic

🇺🇸recall of egg beaters and bob evans better n eggs due to contamination with cleaning solution containing bleach🇺🇸

https://www.fsis.usda.gov/recalls-alerts/cargill-kitchen-solutions-recalls-liquid-egg-products-due-unapproved-substance

some emphasis mine.

sodium hypochlorite is a type of bleach.

so once again we have a recall where the company responsible does not actually know all of where its products wound up. which is bad, because bleach is in them. the list of affected states is not comprehensive.

if you use these products in these sizes at all, anywhere in the US, check your cartons.

some emphasis mine.

the manufacturer did not catch their own contamination. someone sent a tip to the FSIS, who investigated and found that yes, this shit is contaminated with a cleaning solution that contains bleach.

although you probably do not want to eat these on purpose, the FSIS insists that the contaminated products are probably not going to cause major health issues, and none had been reported when the recall was announced. but it is worth pointing out that a lot of these products went to foodservice, and most people making or ordering an omelette do not think they are about to eat fucking bleach.

if you got sick after ordering an egg dish, reach out to appropriate foodservice staff and ask if they use these products.

if you think eating the contaminated products may have hurt you, talk to your doctor.

more information about this recall, including who to contact about problems, questions, or safety concerns can be found through the FSIS link.

there is a USDA recall I want to post about, but I have been trying to access the website for hours with no luck. everything I try is blocked. I cannot get it. none of the USDA pages will load for me. FDA loads fine. fuck come on what the hell