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slice of life

@mangostarjam / mangostarjam.tumblr.com

fuji - 30s, she/her - fanfic writer

FUJI 。°✩. *⋆ 30s, she/her ⋆˚₊‧⋆.⋆。°✩ multifandom (hq, kn8, and more - not spoiler free!) (self ships!)

status: fighting demons (my job)

do not repost, translate, plagiarize, or recommend my work on other platforms, and do not plug my work into any AI interface. i will block blank, minor, and ageless blogs. if you spam like and/or don't reblog things i'll probably block you, too.

nsfw and dark content friendly. 18+ please!

links: my writingmasterlistao3

currently working on: yakuza bodyguard hoshina + hq/bllk street racer au + sae fic

recent works:

sorry i thought about finally finishing a big project and going to take a luxurious bubbly shower and coming out and crashing into sae's space.

you smell clean and very faintly like his cologne because — ah, that's his shirt slipping off your shoulder. sae's heating dinner on the stove and barely even budges when you throw your arms around his middle.

you're pouting about it but you're cute. sae likes getting these reactions from you.

he knows you think it's hot that he barely moved. you might think you're slick, splaying your fingers along his firm stomach like you aren't feeling him up, but sae knows two things in life: football, and you.

"all done?" he asks. you nod and your entire cheek presses firm into his heartbeat. you don't seem to care that you look silly like this, all smushed up. and sae gets hit with it all at once — how much he wants you.

"why're you looking at me like that?"

"i'm not."

you snort and sae turns the stove off. you're still clinging to him so he reaches down to snap the band of your panties against your hip.

the glare you shoot him is halfhearted, tempered by the way you melt when his fingers tug your borrowed shirt up your shoulder. it's crazy how much you love him, how much you show it in your every move. sae wants to get closer. he wants to be the only one who gets you like this.

"you're still looking at me funny," you point out. "is there something on my face?"

sae watches you for a moment. you're so warm and loose and comfortable with him. it makes his jaw clench. he pinches your cheek and smirks when you yelp.

your hand comes up to smack him and he grabs it before you make contact. the clink of your wedding rings brushing together falls into the quiet.

"you've worked hard."

your eyes go round and soft. and then you grin and squeeze his hand before dropping it to grab his face. sae lets you pinch his cheeks together, lets you lean up to plant a kiss that's more sound than feeling.

sae traps you against the counter before you can dash off. "want a reward?"

"ooh, what kind of reward?" you ask. he watches you trail your fingers down to the waistband of his pants. little troublemaker. "isn't it time for dinner, dear husband?"

he tilts his head in agreement.

"yes, it's time to eat."

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

It’s like. When I was told to “just be yourself” as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that “being yourself” is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if it’s “so nineties”. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you can’t be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that you’re interested in even if you’re bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people it’s an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You don’t have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you don’t have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show you’re nostalgic for even if you’re in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you don’t like coffee and black coffee when you don’t like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.

First you have to realize that "yourself" is a construct built by the decisions you make. Then it becomes clear that being yourself is a deliberate and intentional practice, not a passive state of existence.

when your mutual reblogs something with a full page of tags its like. girl (gender neutral) i am filling my mug with coffee and reading this like the morning paper. i am so interested in your thoughts on this post. i love you.

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