Conservative paternalism is gross.

78 year-old adulterous rape culture icon and child molester rambling about fertilization is like music to the ears of MAGA.

So Crawford won. Elon is, as far as I know, still being investigated for ~election crimes~ in Wisconsin. Canada is still investigating Tesla's alleged fraud with rebates. Illinois just elected a bunch of Democrats for local offices. Louisiana rejected a bunch of Republican proposed changes to their state constitution. Cory Booker held the floor of the Senate for 25 hours, breaking the record of racist shitheel Strom Thurmond and in the process, listing out the sins of the Trump administration in the Senate records and delaying their vote for some other Trump asshole. And Speaker of the House Mike Johnson got embarrassed by House Republicans joining Dems in opposing him and threw a baby hissy fit and shut down the House for a week.

We didn't get Florida. But look at all that up there.

Oh and tomorrow, Tesla has to share information about how many cars it actually delivered in the first three months of the year, which unless they fudge the books, is going to be a lower number than they would like, and might make their stock dip some more. Or just drop. Forbes has provided a little graph of their sales.

Edit: and oh shit! Mike Waltz fucked up again and got caught using fucking Gmail for work discussions. Gmail. Because Google never spied on anyone. (He has a government email address.)

Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

Some of you guys don't even realise I don't mean setting a CD on fire

The administration is setting up to push the idea that they should be able to stop people and check their immigration status.

This has been attempted before and found unconstitutional.

I do not expect the current Supreme Court to uphold that prior ruling.

Registry of "undesirables"? Where have I seen this before?

i made my character a human fighter who’s a housewife/empty nester seeking adventure and wholesome fantasy violence after discovering that her husband is having an affair

is this……

is this how you dungeons 

is this how you dragons

im sorry, but is her age “it’s rude to ask a lady her age”?

yes. also her weight.

this is a million percent how you dungeons AND dragons

*whispers* holy shit people are amazing.

The baker‘s Konel Bread in Tokyo and she‘s amazing

They Might Be Woke

The Bloomp's first time hearing the tea kettle and WOW WAS SHE PISSED.

That is a reaction image if ever I saw one.

She was SO MAD ABOUT THIS. The kettle didn't even get to full screech, just a whistle. I turned it off and turned around and she was glaring like it was her reincarnated rival. Motionless except for her tail, furiously lashing.

That LOOK is so serious. I have never seen a kitten so angry.

This man wouldn’t stop dunking his face into my friend’s water glass so she moved it out of the way and he was so mad that he could see the cup but couldn’t faceplant into it again

OH MY GOD

This old lady disapproved So Very Much of the sound of my hairdryer.

"Why would you do this to me, your GRANDMOTHER?!"

Misty demanding my bacon

Misty after getting the bacon

This is the best one yet. VERY pretty baby. WHAT A FACE.

My favourite harmless prank I've heard of was done by this girl whose dad was a geologist, and they'd go on day hikes with his geologist friends/co-workers and when she got bored on them she'd habitually pick up a random rock and go ask him what it is, and one of them would explain what kind of a rock that is, how it probably got here, and usually some notions of the more unusual features the rock had, if any.

And she had a friend who had once gone on a tourist trip to Iceland and brought back a volcanic rock. So she borrowed the rock and took it with her on the hike, and after two randomly picked up "hey dad what rock is this", she presented the volcanic rock, in the same fashion as all the others.

3 minutes later there are five middle-aged and older men circled around this mysterious rock, all agreeing on what it is, but not why it is. They keep asking her questions, where did she find it? Were there any other rocks around there that looked like it? Was it like this on the ground? People walking past the group try to stretch their necks to see over the geologists' shoulders to see what's the source of such amazement.

And in the end she couldn't take it anymore, burst into laughter and confessed. The geologists agree that it was pretty clever.

Geologist enrichment

ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT VOLCANIC ROCKS MIGRATE??

I have to hand it to Donald Trump, I didn’t think the sequel to the 1932 Great Emu War would be a trade war against the penguin nation but he truly continues to be an innovator in the stupidity industry

For further reading of this absurdity.

Ive been to this art installation when it was in Seattle it was made by an indigenous artist if I remember correctly it has small patches of astroturf in front of a black and white American flag with a sign that invites people “kneel and join in the screams of the American national anthem”

Please tag me if you can find it!

This piece is called Neon American Anthem bu indigenous artist Nicholas Galanin “to mourn the loss of lives, freedoms, and safety for people and lands subjected to American violence, and to protest continuing oppression.”

Text below the line to make it easier to read!

i forget baby bugs don't really exist not in the way i want them too anywYs. i was like how come ive never seen a baby beetle i bet theyre soo cute and then i googled and i was like oh right. grub

grasshopper nymph.

hey, don’t cry— grasshopper nymph, okay?

Bogos binted?

Why would anyone trust First Felon?

they’re demoting me to demilich <|:^(

Hand in your body at the front desk.

<|:^(-[—<

<|:^( ………… -[—<