unbroken - April 2 - jegulus - cw: implied panic attack - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 300

Up until this point, Regulus had been able to avoid James when he was like this. When his body was shaking and his hands trembled and his heart was beating so hard it threatened to leap from his throat. 

He knew how to cope…or, at least, survive. He locked himself in a closet or bathroom, curled on the floor, and stifled his sobs in his knees, waiting for the screaming in his head to ease and pass. It was easier this way–to allow the people he cared about to believe he was whole; unbroken; even after all he’d endured.

But he should have known. James was a doting Golden Retriever, always showing up at his side and loving him in a way he felt he completely didn’t deserve. 

So this time, when the broom cupboard he was hiding in opened, he didn’t have to guess who it was.

“Go away, James,” he mumbled, trying to slow the tremors wracking his body.

“No.”

James rarely said no to him. He was so adoring, so loving, that he simply wanted to make Regulus happy, and refusing him was certainly the opposite of that. But now, he said the word so defiantly, Regulus turned, laying one confused eye on the Gryffindor.

“As if I’d leave when that’s the exact thing you’re afraid of,” James said confidently, squeezing his tall frame into the cupboard along with him and closing the door.

Regulus’s breath caught in his throat as his deepest secret, his biggest fear, was laid bare on the dusty stone floor as nonchalantly as if it was a discussion of the weather.

But James didn’t seem to expect a response. He just sat, drawing doodles in the dust on the ground, allowing Regulus to feel his feelings in the safety of his presence.

WIP

the full page (ft my strong sirius propaganda)

A quick sketch from last night

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

Mode.

"Think before you speak"

Regulus definitely heard that a million times growing up.

"Think." Because every word out of your mouth is said for the ancient noble house of black.

"Think." Because if you say something the paintings will snitch.

"Think!" Because mother will hit.

"Think before you speak" was said so many times he just stopped speaking and only thought. That is until he was with James.

It took a bit, but even in the beginning he felt more safe. Regulus felt less worry behind his words, less fear for how someone will react to hearing them. James knows, Sirius told him about it before, so he's ecstatic when Regulus starts speaking without worry, without thought.

Think before you speak but not with him. With him you speak what you think and he will love you for it. No matter what.

‘I thought good guys get to be happy’

i need this art in my blood. like inject it into my veins. i want it to make its way to my heart in real life, and not just metaphorically. when i die i want them to cut me open and find this art. this one. thank you.

feels like an appropiate moment to share this.

fool - @into-the-jeggyverse - wc: 524

James sat cross-legged on the floor, watching Pandora shuffle her tarot deck with an almost ethereal grace. The flickering candlelight cast long shadows across the room, making the entire moment feel far more mystical than it probably was. Regulus, seated beside him, had his arms crossed, clearly unimpressed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Regulus asked, eyeing James skeptically.

"Reg, you don’t question the mystic arts!" James gasped, hand on his chest in exaggerated offense. "Let Pandora work her magic."

Aparecium (Aprit 1st)

Word count: 674

@wolfstarmicrofic

Regulus realises, in the midst of the chaos all around him, that he really ought to learn to mind his damn business.

He’s self-aware enough to know that won’t happen any time soon, especially when it comes to things having to do with his older brother, but it's something he can work towards. Or try working towards. 

Regulus walks out of the parlour room and he spots Sirius almost instantly, sitting on the floor. Regulus walks up to him. “I didn’t mean for them to find it,” he says softly. 

Sirius looks up at him. “What?” The way Sirius looks when he’s home for the holidays always gives Regulus whiplash. This doesn’t feel like his brother at all. 

“Your notebook. I had it with me. I had it in my trunk. That’s how Bellatrix got it. But I didn’t give it to her. She stole it.” His sentences are clipped and short. He realizes that Sirius sucker punching him would be so much easier than whatever is currently happening for the both of them. Sirius wouldn’t hurt him, Regulus knows this even now, and Regulus doesn’t necessarily deserve to get off easy anyway. 

Sirius blinks, then shrugs. “I don’t care about the notebook, Reg.”

Regulus shakes his head. He wants to say so much. He’s self-aware enough to know he won’t say the half of it. He coughs. “I’m sorry, Sirius.”

Sirius shrugs again. “It’s okay.”

Regulus feels like he has to explain. He sits next to Sirius on the floor, mirroring his stance and leaning against the cobblestone wall. All of their cousins are in the parlour room and Regulus hears loud laughing and glasses clinking. He thinks about how to word his next sentence. “I never looked inside.”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t read inside the notebook.” Regulus clears his throat. “I mean, I did flip through it, but I never performed an aparecium. I figured whatever you’d written must have been private if you’d gone to the length of using invisible ink, so I didn’t– I mean–”

Sirius raises an eyebrow. Regulus coughs again and continues. “I know that I did steal the notebook in the first place, so it is ridiculous that I am talking about respecting your privacy, but– I want you to know that I tried to. With everything but the actual stealing, I guess.”

Sirius grins. “Thank you, Reggie.”

Regulus doesn’t know what to do now. He nods and says, “Bellatrix sucks for reading it aloud, for what it’s worth.”

“I don’t care,” Sirius says, eyes honest. “I’m not ashamed of liking Remus, you know. I don’t care that they know.”

Regulus thinks, not for the first time, that Sirius must be the bravest person in the universe. “What if she tells him?” Regulus blurts. He doesn’t necessarily know where the question came from but it’s out there now. 

Sirius smiles softly. “Then she’d be helping me out. I haven’t figured out how to tell Remus yet and my crazy cousin doing it for me might actually be better than some of the ideas I’ve had.”

Regulus wishes, also not for the first time, that he could be more like Sirius. He hopes that Sirius can get as far away from this rotten family as he can get, even if that means Sirius getting away from him, too. 

“I think he likes you, too,” Regulus mumbles, getting up and dusting off his pants. His chest is starting to hurt and he has to get away from Sirius, now, before he says something stupid. “He looks at you funny, sometimes. Like you–” Regulus feels his face warm up. “Well, you know how.”

“Do I?” Sirius asks, getting up as well. He’s smiling in a way that actually does remind Regulus of his brother; bright and mischievous. 

“I’m sorry, again. I promise to leave your things be from now on. We should get back. Um. Good luck with Remus.” Regulus doesn’t wait for Sirius to reply. He doesn’t think he deserves Sirius’ forgiveness at all, but he’s glad he has it.

#this analysis has me sobbing into my pillow and wailing in the streets#because if you consider it#the implication of this could be#that draco's one of the few people he lets himself be a child/teenager with#which is obviously very special because harry's grown up in an abusive household where he's been FORCED to play the begrudging caretaker#ergo he's never really been a child because he was never given that opportunity#and then ofc he's a kid at hogwarts with all his classmates and ron and hermione#but even these kids and some teachers as well (lockhart if im not wrong) idolise him and expect him to be brilliant#so i personally think – as i said before – that the fact that harry *enjoys* duelling with draco proves that he's one of the few people#he sort of lets his guard down with

Loving these tags from @astudyintheburningofhearts

I think that this is a hugely important function that Ron and Draco both serve - they're the people Harry lets himself be a kid around, and are massively important relationships because of that. Even Hermione... Harry feels he's got to be a little more grown-up, a little more serious around her. She's important because she matches his intensity, but that intensity can start to exhaust both of them when there's no buffer.

point - @into-the-jeggyverse - wc: 414

James Potter had a lot of great ideas. Most of them were fun. Some of them were borderline reckless. A handful of them were absolute financial disasters waiting to happen.

Like the one he was proposing right now.

Loverboy james staring into lilys eyes~