old-fashioned lover boy

Hello everyone! This is Mr. Nightingale or Demian for the friends, he/him, I'm a trans boy but fuck genderrrrrr.

My current hyperfixation is Dead Boy Detectives and Doctor Who. I'm Edwin Payne, and I live in pain.

I'm an artist, I draw and write and dance! I love dancing.

→ All my stuff is tagged with #my art and reblogged on @mrnightingale-art so you can find it easily. Mainly drawings for the moment, maybe some random thoughts and poems. I'M NOT DOING COMMISSIONS.

-> #my post is for... Well, everything that's not reblogged XD

→ #save for later is for useful things and posts I'd like to draw in the near future.

→ #Edwin meets Punk is for my silly AU set in the 80s where Charles drags Edwin in the punk scene.

→ I'm working in a payneland longfic comic! (it's a comic now lol) that'll see the light of Tumblr... Some day. The playlist (suggestions are welcome):

I know, I disappeared, sorry not sorry. I started school, routine, actually no bc I got sick and didn't go to school but, ye, bday, LIFE HAPPENS OMG WOAH. I'm 18 now, I wanted to draw smth but cortes de luz lpm so. Yep. I wanted to start doing commissions but suddenly now I hate my art style and I know I don't have to be consistent with my art but I kinda feel I have to be consistent and responsible if I want to work and draw as a job. So I'm having another crisis.

Btw I like marvel now. Like. A lot. I'm binge watching the movies and currently reading Spider-man/Deadpool and oh my these bitches are so gay since when is Marvel so fucking gay?

These drawings aren't even serious, I made them the last two nights before sleeping and like, they're fancy sketches but fuck it, I need to post stuff. I want to post stuff.

Anyways. My brain is infected with radioactive spiders. I'm not a man, not a woman but a secret third thing.

I'm spider-bitch.

Something something abt Gwen's "don't tell them" when Miles thinks of coming out to his parents and the obvious amount of queer symbolism in Gwen's experience of being spider-woman and and-

It's beyond trans Gwen or trans Peter discussion. I personally prefer trans Peter hc, it's a bit more complex and layered. But it's undeniable the color coding in all the scenes where Gwen is talking w his father abt her double life, about all the things she didn't told him. At the beginning of the movie, when she takes off the mask, she asks him if "he's so afraid of her" and in the background they draw the mask, but also is just, a statement so strong about what does that mask means, what does it hides, why it looks like that. It's beyond of "Gwen Stacy is a trans woman". It's Gwen's relationship with being spider-woman that it's just so queer, genuinely queer, genuinely how it feels like being someone the people around you doesn't know, and someone the people around you talk about, discuss about, as if they were an entity outside the room when you are right there. Like they watch the news about spider-man when you have the suit right there, under your clothes.

And idk, I love this movie so much. The genuine fear of seeing a dear friend about to ruin his life for the honest necessary feeling of say the truth and come out, the need is real, you can't control it. And yet, you wish you could, bc coming out ruins your life. Or could give you your best life ever. It could be the best and worst decision you'll ever made. And that's fucking scary, and you want to be brave to be yourself even without the mask. If you have nothing to hide, why are you wearing a mask?

Why?

Finding all the "42" in the spider verse movies feels like Rapunzel in Tangled finding all the kingdom suns in her paintings. Like. The foreshadowing is AMAZING fuck I love these movies sm aaahhhh

No brain just spidey sense without common sense.

The amount of ghostflower x timebomb I'm finding on Pinterest is insane.

I love it.

(The only straights I care about. And Pavitr and Gayatri. And Razumikin and Dunia. But. That's not the point).

If you think I'm dead, actually I'm playing Minecraft. And watching a lot of how to build in yt.

All day, at all times, from every minute in the last 3 days.

I swear when I finish my house I'll post and draw gays again, sry.