Ner's box of wonders

@nerenda / nerenda.tumblr.com

Assorted finds from travels in tumblrland. If there's anything you'd like me to tag (fandoms, squicks, spoilers etc.), let me know.

Pinned

I suppose I could actually do with some kinda intro here?

So hi, I'm Ner! Been here since 2013 so at this point I suspect I'm kinda stuck here.

I mostly reblog stuff here, but there might be the occasional original post in there somewhere.

Sometimes nsfw, so just be aware. Prob won't be straight up dick in your face, tho, but you'll never know.

If you want more Twisted Wonderland (Jamil + some oc stuff) you can also find me at @viperwhispered

For What in Hell is Bad (tho I've kinda given up on the game) I've got @from-leviathans-coffin

(also a few other sideblogs but they're pretty dead so don't worry about those)

Otherwise, everything just gets thrown into an assorted mix here.

I try to tag the fandoms and most common sensitive topics, but if there's something you'd like to see tagged, feel free to let me know and I'll try to keep it in mind.

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I was about to make joke about how Tumblr doesn't declare many special daily observances mid week because there just aren't enough sex acts that start with "th", but before I could even reach the post button my brain immediately supplied "Thuck Her Dick Thurthday", and I'm not sure I'm going to recover from that one.

I regret everything.

Functionally, there's very little difference between watching a movie on poob and watching a movie on basic cable. Yet, for some reason, the advertisements on poob offend me far more

ad breaks on poob always interrupt important scenes or make really jarring cuts.

when it's on cable, they've timed the commercial breaks in a way that generally isn't as disruptive. someone took the time to "reformat" the movie for tv.

ads on poob always KNOW that they're on poob and want me to interact with them or click them. the number of QR codes or ads-in-separate-ad-framing/window are infuriating and jarring.

cable commercials are just stupid little skits i can mute to go use the bathroom.

ads on poob are less than 2 minutes--not enough time to do anything, but enough time to piss me off.

cable commercials are 2-5 minutes, which is enough time to go do something/bathroom or snack break, or talk to whoever you're watching with.

ads on poob are the same 3-4 commercials over and over and over and over again, often cutting to them immediately with no warning, and poob struggles to like, catch up to the fact that it's having to show a different progress bar, or a different timer.

cable commercials, esp during primetime, generally cycle through like 10-15 minimum, so you can go an ad break or two without seeing the same commercial. and they usually only pop up during quiet moments, at regular intervals, so you can see them coming--and there isn't a weird lag/loading time.

in both cases i am being accosted by advertisements and treated like a consumer to manipulate and exploit. the volume changes on cable and poob, the brightness level is eye-searing in both cases.

but poob doesn't respect that i'm here for the MOVIE. cable, thanks to preexisting, decades-old norms around broadcast television, still kind of does. kind of. it's easier to ignore those commercials than the ones on poob.

basically i think poob follows ad norms established on the internet--pop-ups, invasive flashing bullshit, creating lag, taking up time and attention--and cable follows established cable norms of, "time for a few minutes of ads that are just stupid little skits instead of spam machines, and then back to your otherwise uninterrupted movie."

Yeah honestly that all tracks.

I mean i know what you're saying, but there's about a dozen free ad-supported streaming services and i respect none of them to use any of their names. Meanwhile, Poob has fully entered the tumblr lexicon as a shorthand for stupidly-named tech products, especially streaming services.

When the glup shitto stuff started I just fully accepted that that was the actual name of that baby yoda character

I decided to redraw the hobbits hiding from the Nazgûl! I was inspired by the Nazgûl in the animated lotr film but my version just ended up looking like a Scooby Doo villain (I kinda like him tho)

If you are willing, I'd love to see your interpretation of Leona. 🫶 Thank you in advance. Really excited to see more of your art! I've never really considered Malleus x Idia much before but you have my interest piqued.

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What if instead of Leona Kingscholar he was named Leona Cuntscholar and he wore a trashy leopard print tank top under his existing trashy tank top and his stupid little chaps were leather like his vest and-

I wanted Leona to look like a biker. A little punkish to show that he's rebellious in nature...but not too much because he's still a prince

Also I fluffed his hair up because a lion needs it's mane!!!!

Honestly you don't exactly need to like Malleide to follow me! (Unless it's your NOTP and seeing it makes you want to gouge your eyes out) I am a multishipper and if you ask me to draw a ship that's not Malleide, I will do it! Malleide is just my personal favorite 🙃

I'm glad you're considering it tho 🥰🥰🥰 I need more folk to yap about them with

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ohddaniellee-blog

Reblog this if you are literally suprised when people find you attractive.

[TWST] First years & Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Stupid Slang Prompt by: bakuhve

A/N: I HAD TO WRITE IT OKAY IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA LOVE BAKUHVE FOR EXISTING YOU GORGEOUS HUMAN BEING! Banner art is by @maenongdeuce on x @/ List: @c0ralrubi , @writingbluerose , @bakuhve, @goose-things, @s0mething27, @kingheinrey, @gracegarnet, @honey-inthe-moon

Summary: [MC] joins the first years on a recent trend in TWST, GEtting the prefect to read off twisted wonderland lingo from a paper meanwhile the others take a gulp of water trying not to laugh. The only thing though that made it funnier was the fact that [Mc] was staring at the piece of paper like it was the most unhinged thing in their grasp

You blinked in surprise, staring down at the sheet of paper in your hands before glancing up at the group of first-years, who eagerly gave you a thumbs-up.

The moment the video started, Ace barely managed a snort before immediately choking on his water, sputtering and coughing in an attempt to recover himself. You haven't even started on speaking, your lips twitching up seeing how Ace reacted before you even said the first thing on the paper, Deuce, caught between concern and stifled laughter, clamped a hand over his mouth, while Epel burst into uncontrollable cackles at how quickly Ace had lost his composure. Meanwhile, Jack stood off to the side, arms crossed, exchanging a puzzled glance with Sebek, who looked equally bewildered by the scene unfolding before them. Ortho, positioned slightly apart from the group, blinked in amusement before letting out a cheerful laugh, muffling it behind his robotic fist. "I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTING YET DAMN?!" You exclaimed smacking Ace who grinned. Grim, who had been lounging off to the side munching on his tuna, barely spared a glance before blinking and going right back to eating.

After a brief pause to let Ace stop dying, the group restarted the recording. You stood in the middle, gripping the paper like it held the secrets of the universe. With a deep breath, you squinted at the words, already side-eyeing the group, who were barely containing their laughter.

Your e/c eyes scanned the paper. “…‘Where the huzz at?’” A chorus of barely restrained giggles filled the air. Epel’s shoulders started shaking violently, and Ortho, standing beside you, blinked as his pupils dilated. His scanners were running at full capacity, desperately searching his database for any form of context. “‘Skibidi… tuah…? Hawk tuah rizz?’” you continued, blinking in confusion. Jack’s tail stiffened, wagging slightly as he tensed, trying not to laugh. The water in his mouth swished dangerously from side to side. Deuce, meanwhile, was already tearing up, his hand clamped over his mouth as he turned away in a last-ditch effort to maintain his dignity water dribbling onto the floor as he sucked it in. Ortho, despite being a robot, looked like he was about to short-circuit from secondhand embarrassment, while your own awkward grin only made the situation worse.

Then came the final blow

“Level 10 Gyatt…?" you mumbled, mispronouncing the word entirely.

That was it. Ace completely lost it. The redhead was gripping your shoulder like his life depended on it, cackling so hard he went limp, before suddenly spitting out another mouthful of water. It dribbled down his chin as he wheezed, clutching onto you tighter for support. Deuce, in sheer panic, smacked Ace’s back probably not to help, but just to distract himself from laughing. Sebek stood stiffly to the side, his brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of the madness. He turned to Jack and Epel, hoping for answers, but found only barely restrained chaos.

“Fine Shite?” Epel, in that exact moment, wheezed so hard he started choking on his water, doubling over and nearly collapsing to his knees. Jack’s tail wagged like crazy as his ears twitched, his restraint barely hanging by a thread.

Sebek, utterly lost, turned to Deuce with the intensity of a man demanding answers to the universe’s greatest mysteries. He gestured wildly, his hands cutting through the air like he was conducting an invisible orchestra of confusion. “EXPLAIN!” his eyes practically screamed.

Deuce, however, was in no state to answer. Face red and trembling from suppressed laughter, he barely managed to choke down his water before doubling over, wheezing "Negative 1000 aura" You uttered with a raised brow.

Ortho knelt beside Ace, patting his back with the solemnity of a grieving widow at a funeral. Ace, still sprawled out on the floor, was wheezing so hard that he looked like he was about to pass into the afterlife.

“N-Negative… 1000… aura…” he gasped between ragged breaths, tears streaming down his face. You surveyed the utter carnage before you, the sheer stupidity of the situation making your brain short-circuit. With a deep, exhausted sigh, you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“…What the hell did I just read?” Epel, positioned beside Ace, let out a laugh so violent it sounded almost inhuman. His legs flailed in the air, kicking wildly as he cackled like a dying horse. Deuce turned to you, still laughing but visibly fighting for his life to not end up on the floor alongside the others. Jack and Sebek, however, remained standing barely. Jack’s shoulders twitched like he was trying to physically restrain himself, and Sebek stood stiffly, looking dangerously close to short-circuiting.

Ortho, ever the curious observer, peered over your shoulder, scanning the paper before pointing at the next phrase with his mechanical finger. “There’s more,” he helpfully informed.

You hummed, looking down before hesitantly reading aloud, “…Raise your ya ya yas’?” Silence filled the room before Jack exploded.

The wolf beastman bent over, gripping his knees as his entire body shook with laughter. His canines flashed in a wide grin before SPLOOSH the water he had been holding in his mouth shot out like a geyser.

Right onto Ace and Deuce’s already suffering faces. Sebek, who had been holding in his composure like a dam about to burst, could no longer take it. His patience snapped like a twig in a hurricane.

“WHAT ARE THESE SAYINGS?! WHAT DO THEY EVEN MEAN?!” he bellowed, eyes wild as he snatched the paper from your hands, shaking it as if that would somehow force it to reveal its secrets.

Jack, still doubled over, was barely holding himself together. The rest of the group was done. Sebek, however, was not.

He stormed over to you, planting himself at your side, his booming voice practically rattling your skull as he yelled at the others, demanding explanations while trying to read the paper. Before anyone could answer, Epel, still weak from laughing, tried to take a step only for his foot to land right on the puddle of water Jack had spat out.

He went down like a crate of spilt apples.

“AH—!”

With an ungraceful thud, he tumbled forward right onto Deuce.

“AGH—DUDE?!—”

Deuce yelped, the sudden impact knocking him clean off balance. He flailed helplessly for a moment before crashing straight into Ace, who was only just recovering from his previous collapse.

SMACK—THUD!

Ace let out a shriek of laughter as he lost his footing, landing square on his ass with a loud oof.

The room fell into stunned silence, everyone processing the absolute disaster that had just unfolded in real-time.

And then

“…‘Ohio Oni-chan’?”

The second the words left your mouth, the room ERUPTED. Ace was gone, his laugh turning into a dying wheeze as he clutched his stomach. Deuce slammed a fist into the floor, absolutely done. Jack had to physically turn away to keep himself from collapsing. Ortho let out a gleeful robotic giggle, his eyes flashing brightly as he recorded everything for future blackmail.

Sebek, however, did not look amused. His eyes twitched violently, his entire body stiff with frustration.

You sighed, lips twitching despite yourself as you took in the absolute mess before you the heap of bodies on the floor, Jack barely holding it together, Ortho just enjoying the show, and Sebek, who looked like he was questioning his entire existence.

Honestly… you couldn’t even be mad. A grin tugged at your lips as you shook your head. “…What a disaster.” you muttered grinning

*Leona wakes up from a sound*
Leona: What the hell are you two doing? *Ruggie and Yuu, sitting in the savanaclaw lounge near Leona's napping spot, eating measly leftover fries and cupcakes from their respective part-time jobs while watching Seafood boil mukbangs* Yuu: We're on a date, duh. Ruggie: Yeah, we just got off work. Leona:...*Eyebrow twitch* *Eye scan the scraps of food* Leona: *Hands them 5 thousand thaumarks bills* go buy me some steak sandwich at Town. The usual.. Yuu: Woah, isn't it too much-- Leona: Shut up and go. Ruggie: *grabs Yuu* Yeah yeah Yuu: Can we keep the change? Leona:*Looks at Yuu like they're an idiot that didn't get the hint* . . . *While far away* *Ruggie and Yuu high-fives* Yuu: The plan worked! Ruggie: Shishishi, you're so smart, Prefect!

I was having writers block and so I took a break and soon enough it was 3 in the morning and I had impulsively sewn together a tiny mouse you’re welcome

I see people reblogging this with “to buy” but this pattern is free??? Someone even asked me “why don’t you charge money for it, it took you forever to put the document together” and I said “Not a lot of people have money and if they have some fabric scraps and a couple of buttons lying around they can make themselves a little mouse friend for free and that might make them happy and that makes me happier than receiving money???” Make yourself a liddol creacher! Heals the Soul!

Need some indoor crafts right about now? Peaches is here to help soothe anxiety!

Väsyttää olla väsynyt ja vihanen kaikkialla ympärillä olevan transfobian takia ja haluun olla hetken ajattelematta transfobian olemassaoloa, joten jätän tähän korvamatoja, joille voi olla vihanen sen sijaan. Ota itsellesi pahin korvamato. 🐛

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Reblogged

Couldnt stop myself from doing a version of this with Sebs and Sam from stardew hahahahaa 🤣🫶 (original is from milramemo on insta and x) and now that I have this out of my system back to requests of Seb villain >:D HEHEHE

Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.

If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.

Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.

That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.

Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.

it is important to have a life outside of being online and whatnot. but also it is about balance. thinking about real things but also fake ones. for your health. Have you thought about that videogame guy’s penis lately

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