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[08:32]
<< P: WayV Kun x gn!reader | G: angst | WC: 0.4k | AU: forbidden love | W: none >>
You're laying on sand, hues of orange and pink above you your only consciousness. In comparison, everything on the ground is trivial, and your mind is as tranquil as the waves of salt water that grace your feet every few seconds. You shift to lay on your side and the one beside you follows, darkened rays of the setting sun reflect off half his face and skin while the other half is shadowed in a stunning glowing gold. Your gazes connect, windows to your souls opening wide.
The moment is intimate, you are aware. All that is left is to ignore, to suppress, as always.
But when Kun leans in, you realise you are far too gone. Ignoring doesn’t change the course of the heart, ignoring makes things no less true.
In this faltering moment, you let your heart morph into a black hole, let it swallow as much of the gold hues of his skin, the meeting of his lips with yours, and the display of reciprocation, for you are aware that although there is nothing more you ache to keep, it is all fleeting. The inevitable is heavy and the black hole widens, desperate to consume more than what is given, more than what is at your fingertips.
Kun pulls away, the urge to mumble an apology not nearly as prominent as the lack of regret in him. He too aches for more than what should be, silently pleading for you to feel the same.
Your mind is pulled into a vortex of all ‘buts’ and ‘what ifs’ and all obligations that had seemed insignificant only a moment ago, but when your eyes find his, you find in them only clarity. You understand he has chosen his heart and it makes your own flutter, before it comes crashing down at the fleeting and the inevitable. You wonder when listening to one's own desires had become a crime.
He rests his forehead against yours in the childish desire to think your thoughts and finds your palms in the human desire to convey his. He is successful, he realises, when you succumb, burying yourself in his neck. His arm drapes around you and pulls you to his chest, his vulnerable self warm against yours.
In this faltering and deciding moment, you allow yourself to soak in the ‘could be’. When you cannot picture being elsewhere than in his arms, his breath soft on your nape and his scent strong on your nose, you make your choice.
The burden in your mind is lifted, but a stronger one is placed. Your new inevitable will be torturous and turbulent, you think, but it is a small price to pay to keep him with you.
A/n: malfunctioning bc what did i just write and why am i so in love with qian kun
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