Dude has a death wish

Delighted to announce this bird is real and is a corvid.

Truly the family that just keeps giving.

I haven’t seen it in the notes yet, so afaik, here’s the source of that video! So now you can see the funny poison bird much more clearly.

It was taken by a biologist that studies birds so it seems like he knows what he’s doing. For the most part. Here’s his caption:

You all know that he 100% licked his fingers after handling that bird

I can’t leave this in the tags, I’m sorry.

@mildlybizarrecorvid a corbid for you!

periods are medieval honestly. like sorry I got suicidal last night turns out I had too much blood in me. yeah no some of it fell out and I'm fine now.

what i've been up to the past 20 minutes

One of the stranger things about training brand new nurses is explaining how to min max small talk. It feels very weird to coach people on how to chat.

if I make and post an insanely detailed powerpoint on the twenty different equations I run mentally during casual conversation to make it flow better, everyone has to say that it's sexy and cool and not weird at all

remember, everyone promised to be cool! also disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer assume I said all the things you'd say to be like "i know human interaction is complicated, i know some of what i listed here would be very annoying to some people," and all that

Yo, everyone who struggles with casual conversation/social interaction for any reason, they dropped a strat guide!

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

oh, Sisyphus! i got you

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

It doesn’t have to

It shall.

In fact it will.

In fact….

It always has been.

-corvids not detected- -yet- -theyll come here later-

I love having a cat because who else will sit with me for four hours solid while I sort aquarium gravel by colour composition surface texture and patina

Sometimes he tries to eat the rocks but I've honed my reflexes to a razor's edge for just such an occasion

Nobody wants to hear what People with long ass bios about fandoms and fan fics and their mental illnesses think about drug use in public. Sit your ass at home and watch bluey bitch we dgaf

Ma’am we say bitch around here

[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me

how i'm handling my students using AI to write papers:

-don't accuse them on using AI from the get-go and instead ask them to informally define all the huge words that they used in their essay which i know they don't know the meaning of

-ask to see their original file where they "wrote" the essay. go to version history to see if it was just copy and pasted and then just edited a bit. i keep an eye out for the shit like "certainly! here's an essay about...."

-if they own up to it, they can re-do the assignment for a higher grade even if there will be an automatic penalty. if they don't, i process it like plagiarism and get my supervisor involved.

And this is much better than the immediate accusations. Some students have a good vocabulary. Stop accusing them of faking their essays without proof, and this is a good way to check.

Fellow students please stop using AI, go back to promising not to kill the school nerd if they do all your homework or something.

Guy: “So what does X mental illness feel like?”

Me: “Feels like shit, bro.”

Guy: “Hmmm. I don’t think so”

Cool so like what if I hit you with a rock. What would that feel like hypothetically

I once had a licensed professional medical doctor tell me to my face within 7 minutes of meeting me that I didn’t have depression because truly depressed people don’t use metaphors.

The metaphor I used was, “I know that all these little day to day things shouldn’t be this hard- taking a shower, eating, getting out of bed- but it feels like everything I try to do, everywhere I go, I’m dragging a king-sized mattress around with me.”

So like. I guess expanding on the idea, don’t just mean “don’t tell me it’s not bad”. I kind of also wanna say, “you asked me how it felt and I fucking told you, so maybe listen to what I say when you ask instead of picking apart how I said it or how it fits within your idea of what it might be like in theory”

that is also a simile and not a metaphor

I was recently reminded of this and it's just as funny now as it was then.

Never not amazed at the extremes people will go to in search for a new medium for art

WATCH THE VIDEO I'M BEGGING YOU

map panther do you see my vision

my grandpa saw my gemsona on facebook and now he wants me to draw him a gemsona

he want’s to be an opal!!!!!

 i did a quick one we’ll see what he thinks about it tomorrow!

GEMPA OPAL YAAAAAAH 

AH my twin sister DREW FANART AHAHA!! 

GRAMPS’S REACTION TOMORROW STAY TUNED! 

Here is my grandpa lookin at the post! My sister went over to his house (since I live in a different city) to show him how much you guys love it (and to tell him how cute you think he is!!) I did call them but I wanted my sister to actually show him all the nice tags and how popular he is!

HE also wanted to show you his pug Mordue! They so cute…

He loves it and he’s very happy about how much everyone loved it and so does my mom! Thank you guys so much!!! It really made his day!! He wants to print it out and hang it on the wall so my sister will help with that!

thank god for this post

Always reblog