ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

“miss piggy would make it look like an accident”

This keeps going past on my dash and I can’t let it go any longer. It’s time to see the record straight.

Miss Piggy doesn’t have a subtle bone in her floppy felt body. There is no possible way she could ever make it look like an accident.

Miss Piggy would make you into an example.

SO YESTERDAY I found someone on the Tumblr with "morm" in their URL and "Moroni" in their name, and so I assumed "oh sick maybe they're Mormon" because. Y'know. Obviously.

Anyways we had another interest in common and so I very cautiously sent them an ask (from my main blog! Off anon! Which is a VERY big thing for me to do because I am not 'out' as Mormon to nearly anyone who knows my main blog) and I was like "Ooh, Mormon [interest] fan??"

And they said "No, sorry, my special interest is the Book of Mormon musical", which, my mistake. It was just that they had Mormon in their username and also their header and it was the entire theme of their blog. But I could've done a little more research I suppose.

Anyways turns out they BLOCKED ME?? I'm SORRY?? If you have Mormon in your URL someone might assume you are Mormon. Shocking.

Reminds me of a post I saw about a Book of Mormon musical fan who was clutching their pearls shocked that they started getting ads from the church.

My fellow wanderer on God's great wide earth, you were repeatedly and desperately horny for Mormons on main, what did you think the algorithm was going do with that information?

explain the book of mormon to me

what happens, i aint reading allat.

You ever read the Bible? It's like that but way shorter, and a little easier to get through.

I really wanted to give some kind of funny answer that was like almost right but I'm too tired so I'm chucking this to my mutuals to have fun with.

@jackednephi @hiseyeisonthesparrow @nerdygaymormon @j-the-latter-gay-saint @diabetic-bean @mormonmonastery @brothermouse

Family Feud the looooooong way

Also there's a crime syndicate, a lot of fainting and Jesus shows up.

And then everyone dies.

Brother Mouse's summary is very good and I would like to add that everyone dies, twice

LDS Priesthood Holders aren't Clerics, we're Paladins

We have:

Lay on Hands (Bless & Heal someone by laying hands upon them (not like that, Uncle Golden))

An Oath that we follow, or lose our Power (Oath & Covenant of the Priesthood)

High Charisma (needed for Missionary Work & Talks in Sacrament) & Strength (Renewing of our Bodies promised in the O&C and the WoW)

Expected to be Lawful Good (required to be Good Aligned at the least)

"The War in Heaven Continues today" (and the folklore about the millennials being Generals in the War in Heaven, while debunked, still has a hold on the Membership)

"if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto [Captain] Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17). Tell me Captain Moroni wasn't a Paladin. And we're encouraged to have some of his Traits (while we're striving to be like Christ, Moroni is an example of what to do when Peace isn't an Answer. And anyway, the War Chapters are Symbolic of our Struggles in Life)

What is the "Dusting the Feet" if not a Divine Smite (and while this is a different Branch, the Strangites have Maledictions as well as Blessings)

They literally gave our Swords for completing the "Duty to God" program (I'm not sure if that was just in our Stake, but Paladins use Swords). In addition, Mormon Apocrypha has a Legendary Sword: the Sword of Laban (Forged by Joseph of Egypt, passed down to Joshua, became the Model for Nephite Swords, and in the Legend of the Cumorah Cave it's said it will only be Sheathed during the Second Coming)

And we can't forget about the Shield

Give it up for one of the rawest pieces of text I've ever read and it's 2 Nephi 7:8

Before I left on my mission they had me fill out a form for the info to put on my little missionary plaque and I wrote 2 Nephi 2:8* but I guess they misread it as 7:8 because when I came home I learned that this verse had been up by my picture for the entire time. Basically the closest you can get to just saying "fight me" and nobody questioned it

ngl I am thinking it will be on my missionary plaque

Slayyyy

I find joseph smith to be incredibly relatable because I also need to be reminded four times to do something

Another fun thought, I wanna know what everyone’s favorite verse is and why. This can be from any religious text! I’m finding some really cool ones in the Book of Mormon and I wanted to know what other ones you guys liked.

“Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness;” -Ether 12:23 -26

Goes unreasonably hard.

1 Nephi 3:7 is a classic of course (seriously. It's all over)

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

My dad is a huge fan of Jacob 6:12

"O be wise, what can I say more?"

Romans 8:24-25

"For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

1 Timothy 4:12

"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

There's a passage from the end of the book of mormon that I love because it's all about love, hope, faith, and charity.

And finally, there's a verse that I cannot remember for the life of me but it was exceptionally grounding when I was struggling with consistent anxiety attacks. I'll try and find it and add it in.

I love these for various reasons. Romans 8:24-25 is one of my favorite because it talks about hope as opposed to faith. While faith cannot exist without hope, most of the time we don't develop them at the same time. Hope comes first. Most scriptures sbout hope really speak to me for that reason - and because I believe that to have hope is to be like our Heavenly Parents, who are hoping that we will return home to them.

1 Timothy 4:12 ignites so much passion within me. People so often underestimate youth, or from an outside perspective, assume that we are brainwashed into religion. But our youth is not a failing to be held against us. God does not underestimate us - they expect us to be examples, to truly display the qualities a follower of Christ should.

Another fun thought, I wanna know what everyone’s favorite verse is and why. This can be from any religious text! I’m finding some really cool ones in the Book of Mormon and I wanted to know what other ones you guys liked.

“Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness;” -Ether 12:23 -26

Goes unreasonably hard.

1 Nephi 3:7 is a classic of course (seriously. It's all over)

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

My dad is a huge fan of Jacob 6:12

"O be wise, what can I say more?"

Romans 8:24-25

"For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

1 Timothy 4:12

"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

There's a passage from the end of the book of mormon that I love because it's all about love, hope, faith, and charity.

And finally, there's a verse that I cannot remember for the life of me but it was exceptionally grounding when I was struggling with consistent anxiety attacks. I'll try and find it and add it in.

In honor of General Conference coming up this weekend, as well as a recent uptick in new folks pokin’ around the tumblrstake tag to see what we’re about, may I humbly present my favorite Mormon joke of all time:

A doctor of psychology and long-time atheist decides he has a foolproof way to prove which church is true. So he calls in a Catholic priest, a Protestant pastor, and a Mormon bishop. He tells ‘em “I’ve got a psycho killer in here. Whichever of you can baptize him, I’ll join and endorse your church.”

The priest, while understandably shook, thinks he has this in the bag. All he has to do is run in, sprinkle the guy with water, and then book it. So he braces himself, douses his hands, and goes for it. No dice—the psycho killer is freakishly fast and pounces on him, snapping his neck.

The pastor’s got a harder job: he has to physically get the guy underwater. But lucky for him, he was a linebacker all through college, so he’s got a plan to play to his strengths. He’s gonna tackle the guy into the water, and then he wins. That part works fine, but then the psycho killer holds him down and drowns him.

The bishop’s been really quiet, thinking about how he’s gonna get out of this mess. After thinking real hard for a few minutes, he tells the professor he’s ready to go in.

The killer comes at him.

He pulls out a Glock.

Unloads four rounds into his chest and kills him instantly.

On his way out, he tells the professor, “Call me back in a year, and we’ll book some baptisms for the dead.”

hey y'all I posted about this the other week (and I will be reaching out to those who responded to that post saying they were interested), but basically I'm writing a paper about asexuality in mormonism and I'd like to get responses from you all!

Here is the link to the form! It should only take ~15 minutes to fill out, so please please please go ahead and respond!

I forgot to include a question about pronouns which is now included! If you already answered and would like your pronouns to be known, feel free to dm me :)

There's something deeply sad about seeing this at the thrift store.

Like, do I want it? No.

Do I want it to be at the thrift store?

Also no.

That's cool as hell and I want it

Hot take: Annabeth didn’t need to be the daughter of Athena in order to be smart

Hear me out - this isn't shade against Athena herself nor Annabeth, but this decision Rick made for them is, at best, mythological wrong and, at worst, offensive.

Athena is known to be a virgin goddess, just like Hestia and Artemis, so even having children from her thoughts breaks her vow. So Annabeth (and the others) shouldn't be born from Athena.

Before someone goes 'But who would be a better fit?' Or 'There isn't anyone better for her!' I actually have some other godly parents suited for our Wise Girl that let her still be smart, gives her cool powers, AND add layers for her and the series.

1. Apollo

This one was the easiest because Apollo is also a god of knowledge like Athena, and he isn't considered a virgin god, unlike our owl godess. Plus, you can have other talents for Annabeth to practice AND more angst when they (the other Apollo kids) all died in the Battle of Manhattan

2. Ares

This one I thought on the fly - while he isn't known for wisdom or knowledge like the others on the list, he's a pretty good contender for Annabeth’s godly parent. He's known of battle smarts/strategy AND bravery, and Ares kids aren't just blood thirsty fighters. They can be quiet, gather information, and spy on the enemy. It's perfect for Annabeth, plus her Hubris makes more sense and her need to be validated by her godly parent (Fuck PJO Ares, Mytho Ares is better)

3. Metis

This one was also easy to pick. Metis is the mother of Athena AND also associated with wisdom and knowledge. Plus, considering she doesn't have a cabin despite giving birth to an Olympian goddess, it'll give angst to Annabeth’s character and her place in Camp, adding on to WHY minor gods are just as important as the Olympian Gods. (BTW, Shape Shifting is a part of Metis's Domain, so Annabeth can have cool powers!!)

4. Coeus

This one I found from research. Coeus is the Titan of Intellect and the Axis of Heaven. And he's known to be smarter than Metis and Athena combined! Plus, if you add in the fact that the first series stars the Titans as antagonists, MORE angst of Annabeth’s character, and like I said for Metis, it shows why we shouldn't alienate the other gods, primordials and titans JUST because they're not Olympians

5. A Champion child

If you still want to keep Athena as Annabeth's godly parent, try this- make her Athena's Champion.

Like in my DGAF au, Athena blessed Annabeth as a baby as a gift for her parents. That way, Annabeth could still be related to Athena without breaking the vow.

That's all I have for now, thank you for reading.

*Maybe I should make this a side series?

It's very hard to have any meaningful discussion with people whose brains work like this.

I'm calling it now. Kearon is the new Uchdorf. I can feel my blorbo senses tingling. We are all going to develop an obsession with this adorable golden retriever of a man

Everytime someone comes on this godforsaken website and talks about Mormons it is always the most uneducated, idiotic take I have ever seen that makes it 100% obvious that most of y'all have never interacted with a single Mormon much less know any in any significant way and that you view Mormons as this weird, occult, polygamist group that wears magic underwear.

If you don't know the difference between LDS and FLDS then respectfully, shut the hell up about Mormons because I am so tired of people saying that Mormons still practice polygamy. (There's so many weird things in Mormonism that still exist and y'all really chose the practice that they stopped doing 120 years ago??). Do you even know WHY Utah has so many Mormons? No? Then shut the hell up. Go do some damn research instead of spreading misinformation.

Also why do people on here act like the LDS Church is the fucking Westboro Baptist Church. Yeah they're a majority conservative group but they're about as wild as the Catholic Church is. I'm going to be honest, most Mormons don't give a shit about you or what you do with your life.

But who would I be to tell you to do research and not give you a starting point? So here. Watch this video. If you have any interest in Mormonism whatsoever go ahead and watch this video. (Genuinely it is an amazing and well researched video though).

And if you're a Christian who is constantly talking about how Mormons aren't Christians. Uh, A) nobody cares and B) shut the fuck up.