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Penny

@pennyplainknits / pennyplainknits.tumblr.com

Multifannish podficcer and maker

Transformative works statement

Should you for whatever reason want to record any of my fics, or otherwise remix/spin-off/translate/use it in ways I can't think of, it please have at it! Just let me know once it's finished so I can link it! :-) You can use the associated works button on AO3 to do that quickly and easily.

I would greately prefer that any podfics of my works were not hosted on Spotify or other podcast catchers such as Apple Podcasts.

Also I feel this should go without saying but this statement does NOT cover feeding anything I made into an AI. Don't do that.

"Generically medieval" settings can be annoying, but what really burns me is when people try to "correct" others about what the medieval period was really like, then hit the wrong era. They'll be setting forth a checklist of "authentically medieval" features and I'll be like, that's the German Renaissance. You are describing the German Renaissance.

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

I actually, genuinely think social event aftercare would fix me. I need someone to put me to bed and say "you were fun today and no one hated you"

Into Battle - chapter 1

Written for round one of the @steddiebingo (prompt: Ring) and week 2 of @steddiesportsau (prompt: Solo Sports)

And that is how, some four weeks later, Eddie finds himself in another city, in another stadium, performing in front of another screaming crowd. Every single place in the stands is packed, just like Chrissy said it would be.

Jesus fucking Christ, he thinks, while a gray-haired dude dressed in a tux and bowtie of all things steps up to the microphone placed at the center of the ring.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” he intones in one of the most sonorous voices Eddie has ever heard in his life. “Fighting out of the red corner, wearing black trunks and weighing one-hundred-seventy-five and a quarter pounds. Originally from the small town of Hawkins, Indiana. His professional record: thirty-three consecutive victories with twenty-eight knock-outs. It’s my pleasure to present the undefeated, undisputed light heavyweight champion of the world: his majesty, the King of the Ring … Steeeeeve Harringtoooooon!”

“Harrington!!!” Eddie slurs from across the room when Steve walks into the party — eyes closed, head lolled, big cheeseball grin on his flushed pink face. “My dick works again!!!”

Uh. “G-good for you, man!”

Frank cracks open a fresh beer. “Don’t listen to him, man, he’s drunk.”

“I am drunk,” Eddie agrees enthusiastically, leaning over to paw Frank’s drink out of his hand and nearly knocking it to the ground. Beer spills over the lip of the can; runs down Frank’s hand and wrist all the way to his elbow. Eddie proudly pronounces, “I’m drunk and I’m healed and my dick is fuckin’ func— fuckin’— uh— work good?”

“Well, Jee. Zus. Christ.” Frank punctuates each syllable with a wipe of his wet hand across Eddie’s shirt. “Just keep your functional fuckstick in your pants, ya fuckin’ caveman.”

Rewrite an Ending or Two: Chapter Eight

The parking lot at the War Zone is surprisingly busy. A poster that looks hand-drawn promises, “Everything you need to protect YOUR FAMILY from the HAWKINS DEVIL.

Robin points at it.

“Uhh, I think Eddie should stay in here,” she says. “What with the whole...wanted for murder situation.”

They leave him crouched on the floor out of sight of the windows, making his way through a bag of pork rinds they found in the RV’s kitchen cabinet. Steve’s stomach rumbles. She could do with some pork rinds too. Any food, really. The chips had not been enough.

“Split up, grab everything you can, and meet me at the cash desk,” Nancy says. She waves her tiny purse. “I’ve got this.”

Dustin, Max and Lucas head straight to the camping supplies. Nancy’s already making her way to the firearms. Robin and Steve find the outdoor clothing, if only to get Steve something that more or less fits.

“How’s it feel, having people know?” Robin asks as they sift through the racks. She finds what looks like an army surplus jacket, and adds a beret.

“Well, I’m glad no one’s disowned me yet,” Steve says. “Other than that, I don’t know? I got so used to hiding it. It does feel kind of bad that Jonathan doesn’t know. Like, I feel he should have known before Nancy. Don’t say I told you so.”

Robin, kindly, doesn’t. Instead, she says,

“Do you think he’s got your letter yet?”

Steve dumps a pair of men’s cargo pants and a leather flight jacket into the cart. After a moment she digs around and adds a belt as well. The trousers will go over the bump, but might need some help staying up.

“I don’t know,” she says. “How long do letters take to get to California?”

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