trick me once shame on you. shame on you. shame on you shame on you i hate you. i ltierally trusted you.

he’s there for funsies ig

show her i'm the judgement call.

(requested by anonymous)

Straight guys who use tumblr are the funniest people ever literally how did you end up here

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

I’m only a little bit sorry

so you deadass don’t feel me thinking bout you

Ok nvm

are ur asks okay 😭😭😭??

This is an acceptable top 5 I can respect it I approve of these choices

i have succeeded at life it seems

For the record my top 5 is:

1.sea bunnies

2.lemon sharks

3.manatees

4.whale sharks

5.manta ray

Honorable mentions to:every shark in existence and the extinct but adorable trilobite

honestly all really good choices, i love sharks sm, specially whale sharks

I feel so content with life right now I'm glad someone appreciates whale sharks they need all the love

theyre so underrateddd they deserve sm love

This is an acceptable top 5 I can respect it I approve of these choices

i have succeeded at life it seems

For the record my top 5 is:

1.sea bunnies

2.lemon sharks

3.manatees

4.whale sharks

5.manta ray

Honorable mentions to:every shark in existence and the extinct but adorable trilobite

honestly all really good choices, i love sharks sm, specially whale sharks

This is an acceptable top 5 I can respect it I approve of these choices

i have succeeded at life it seems