i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.

Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let’s see if i can do better

So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan – chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).

[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i’m low on spoons - perhaps i’ll do another post for meatless meals]

You’ll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.

You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three

Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don’t worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)

Now flip your protein if it’s flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.

Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That’s going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)

While it’s resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.

…

Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.

…

The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor

You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.

It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable

here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea

it’s not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks

Happy Cooking!

justin stewart

How about a little Magik?

this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

This is the cutest thing ever. Godzilla says trans rights.

GODZILLA OFFICIAL???

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.

Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.

Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.

Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now

He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.

With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?

See, I think that still works.

You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!

You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.

So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.

You should probably ask for a raise.

#RIP Penelope Featherington you would’ve loved Regina George

Can we get a big round of applause to one of the most iconic characters of all time? He’s been through so many muppet antics and I think it’s time for some appreciation

You’re doing great, Kermit. Jim would be so proud :)

IT'S FINALLY HERE! The true full size of my "do you love the colour of the sky HD remake director's cut" tumblr post

This ended up being 2 3/4 inches wide by 36 FEET LONG. 

The 2 3/4 inch width was chosen because that's the same width as a pretty average phone screen, and I wanted to know how physically far you have to scroll to get past this post.

also dont tell my boss that I got into the art gallery before we opened just to set up this rainbow CVS receipt looking motherfucker. in my defense i literally couldn't find any other location that was long enough to show this off

Please consider subscribing to my Patreon to gain access to my original content a week before its posted on tumblr!

reblogging this because the og post is suddenly getting a bunch of notes and i want everyone to see just how long this motherfucker is in real life

that is impressively long omg

also you all should be so grateful I never reblogged that post because WOW

How did X get even stupider.

THIS BITCH EMPTY

XEET

o7

It's pronounced "sheee-it" in the southern fashion.

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

Okay, this is pretty incredible. A 3D artist, consulting scholars and archaeologists, worked for a year and a half in Blender to create a reconstruction of pre-Columbian Tenochtitlán, complete with the surrounding landscape. It’s staggeringly beautiful, and—at least to me—gives a wonderful impression of the city as a place where people worked and lived and worshiped

HOLY SHIT CLICK THROUGH THIS IS INCREDIBLE

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

by which i mean, like, here's how my brain parses the steps in making coffee

good day:

regular day:

bad day:

anyway this is a "14 steps to make coffee" kind of day

This is actually a really good way of explaining this

here's your fucking feedback @staff

list of problems the removal of icons causes:

list of problems solved by removing icons:

here's some more feedback: maybe when you run an a/b test you should, idk, actually have a feedback form people can fill out about it somewhere

cosigned

@staff

It's not exactly what you mean in that it's not specifically for this a/b group thing but...

THERE IS A FEEDBACK FORM YOU CAN FILL OUT!!!

Click Help at the bottom right of the screen (might have to scroll a little bit to get it)

At the top of your screen, tap Contact Support, and it will open a sidebar.

On the Choose a category for support option, choose Feedback.

Fill out the rest of the form with your feedback and be as civil as possible while getting your points across.

If you're on mobile:

Tap the profile button, then enter your settings.

Under General Settings, which should be the first option available to select, scroll down until you see Help.

Scroll the page to the bottom until you see Contact Support, and tap it.

And like on desktop, you select Feedback from the dropdown menu for Choose a category for support.

I have no idea how effective this is, but considering it's one of the few ways to actually contact staff and support that gets you a response (you'll receive an email reply eventually!), it's worth a shot

It’s important to recognise that Barbie (2023) criticises both the patriarchy AND the matriarchy. Yes, the Ken’s are just accessories to the Barbies. Yes, they don’t have any say in the government they live under. That’s the point, you’re supposed to feel awful, you’re supposed to want the Kens to have their own agency, you’re supposed to want equality. The Barbie movie explicitly states that the way Barbie treats Ken is wrong, so much so that once he finds a safe space for his masculinity and individual identity he’s so excited to share it with the other Kens.

But they go overboard and replace a matriarchy with a patriarchy and now the same issue exists but in reverse. That’s the POINT!! THATS THE POINT!!! Barbie is not anti-men it’s pro equality PLEASE understand this

Conservatives have basic media literacy challenge (Impossible)

How the media depicts the Apollo 11 mission:

Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.